Chapter 6

"Justin. What the hell happened last night?" Blaine yelled into his phone.

Justin laughed. "We hung out. It was fun. How are you feeling?"

"Kurt is really mad at me. I was supposed to come home. We had a whole night planned together." Blaine was angry and sad at the same time. He knew that it was probably not the right thing to blow Kurt off, but they were so happy to get all the research tied up. It was like a huge burden was lifted off of all of them. The pressure really got to them and it was nice to hang out with his team and get to know them before they dove back into it on Monday.

"What else is new?" Justin scoffed. "Thats why I took your phone last night. If I didnt take it, you wouldve gone home and missed all the fun. You had fun didnt you?"

"Honestly, I feel like shit. I dont usually drink like that. Plus.. um.. Plus, Kurt says he heard someone hitting on me over the phone last night. Did you call him?" Blaine worried after Justins prior response. Justin just laughed. "Seriously Justin. You dont know anything about Kurt and you certainly dont know anything about our relationship. Kurt happens to be more important than anything else in my life."

"Youre so dick whipped."

"Call it what you want, but I love him. I love him more than I love myself." Blaine warned Justin. His tone was serious.

"Oh. Well, I had your phone." Justin said.

"And?"

"And I was messing with it when an old one night stand of mine was hitting on me. You really dont remember?"

"No, and I thought you were straight." Blaine ran his fingers through his curls. "You lied to me?"

"Not really. I date boys and girls. Im bi Blaine. I thought you wouldve figured that out by now." Justin laughed again. "Youre so oblivious."

"How dare you. Youre an ass. If we didnt have this thing coming up, I would quit. I want this for me and for Kurt. I could care less about what you get out of it because I know someday all of your bullshit will catch up with you." Blaine sighed. "Tell me the truth Justin. I need to know the truth about last night."

"Ive gotta go Blaine." Justin hung up on him.

Blaine almost threw his phone across the room. "FUCK!" He was desperate and he felt like he couldnt breathe. He dialed the phone again and no answer. He was starting to hyperventilate. He dialed.. no answer.. dialed.. no answer.. dialed.. no answer. "FUCK!" Blaine crumbled down to the floor next to the bed. He was spent and lost and scared and lonely. He cried hard, deep heaving sobs left his chest and he prayed for the first time since he was a little boy. He prayed for Kurt to come home.

Kurt didnt come home. He went to their new apartment. It was Saturday morning so there were no workers. He sat in solitude. He needed to think. The apartment was really shaping up and Kurt had wanted to share that with Blaine. Blaine was so busy and Kurt had understood the stress it put on Blaine to be part of this group. He knew Blaine did everything for him and for their future. He didnt think Blaine was aware how close they were to moving into their place. It looked just about done.

Kurt loved the kitchen. He ran a finger across the cool granite counters that he and Blaine meticulously picked out. It was so easy for them. When they saw the color, there was no question. They knew that they wanted this counter. It was perfect for the cherry cabinets that they picked out and the stainless steel appliances. The master bedroom was framed in cherry with the baseboards and crown molding in the beautiful deep cherry color. The tray ceiling opened up the ceiling giving them airiness that they had wanted.

The place was theirs. Everything about it had Kurt and Blaine in it. It was THEIRS. Kurt walked into the closet and smiled at how Blaine told him to choose how to set it up. It was Kurts home for his clothes. Blaine knew how important this place would be for Kurt. He knew it would be something Kurt would brag about. Blaine didnt care how it looked. He wanted Kurt to be happy. Kurt knew what the house for his clothes should look like. It was then that Kurt cried. His heart ached for Blaine, his heart ached for what happened and mostly his heart ached because he still loved Blaine so deeply. Why would Blaine do this? Was he not enough?

Thats exactly what happens when you feel cheated on. You start to question yourself and your ability to make someone happy. Kurt reasoned to himself that the feelings he had were valid and real. He hated doubting his ability to make Blaine happy. He was sure he knew exactly how. He knew Blaine so well. How could it be possible that Blaine needed something more? Maybe it wasnt more, maybe he didnt want someone that knew him well. Maybe that was the problem. Kurt couldnt figure it out. He tried to find reasoning for all this, but never figured it out.

Kurt sat in the corner of the closet and cried. He cried so hard that he thought his chest would open up. The pain was real. The stabbing pain you feel when your heart has been ripped out and squashed. He needed someone to help him. He needed someone to help him figure out how to fix it. Kurt pulled his phone out and dialed the one person that understood him. The one that would always help him. "Dad?"

Burt was alarmed at the sound of Kurts voice. It was immediately apparent that his son was upset. "Kurt, are you okay? Wheres Blaine?"

"Im.. daddy.. Im ... I think Blaine cheated on me." Kurt stuttered out the words with the tears that fell down his cheeks.

"Oh, Kurt. Shhh.... Its okay. Calm down son." Burt wanted to hold his son who was clearly hurting. It had been a long time since he heard Kurt this sad. In fact, Burt couldnt remember when he had ever heard Kurt this broken. He was broken when his mother died, but this was a broken sound that only comes from losing the person you love with all your heart. "Tell me what happened, kiddo."

Kurt took a deep breath fending off the sobs that wracked his chest. Burt waited patiently. After the second breath he started. He told Burt about their plans the night before and about Blaine being late and then never showing up. Then he told him about the phone call that he heard. "This voice said to forget the stupid husband and come home with him. The voice called him by name and said that Blaine could spend the night THIS TIME. THIS TIME Dad. That could only mean that there was another time, right?"

Burt listened hoping that it wasnt as bad as Kurt let on, but when Kurt finished, it sounded bad. He paused to put everything in perspective. "Did you ever hear Blaine respond?"

"No, but daddy, he said Blaines name and it was Blaines phone." Kurt cried loudly again. He was hurting and Burt could do nothing to fix it from where he was. Then again, his son was married and a grown man. It was painful to hear Kurt go through this. No matter how old, Kurt was still his baby. He wanted to protect him, but knew he would have to help Kurt learn how to fix his problems on his own. It was part of being a mature adult.

After going through it in his head again, Burt gained some perspective. "Kurt, nothing that youve said actually says that Blaine cheated. Everything you heard was from someone else. Maybe the person thought it would be funny. Maybe theyre trying to get to you and Blaine. Whatever it is, dont you think you owe it to Blaine to hear him out?" Burt was mad at Blaine too, but as a father, he knew he was doing the right thing. He needed to teach Kurt to resolve his issues.

"He owes me an apology, dad. I planned a nice evening for us and cooked this fantastic meal that went bad because he never came home and threw it all away because he didnt keep his promise to me. He promised to spend the night with me."

"That cant be taken back and I agree that he owes you an apology, but he cant apologize if youre hiding from him." Burt sighed. "Youre going to have to face him and get to the bottom of what happened. If he really did cheat on you, youre going to have some decisions to make. You have to hear him out and hell have to hear you out. Thats what a relationship is about. I know you know that Kurt. I know you know that youll have to talk to him. Its the right thing to do. Ill support you Kurt. Ill support any decision you make. I love you."

"I love you too." Kurt finally calmed. His dad had a way of helping him reason through things. In some ways, Blaine was like Burt. Blaine always calmed him and helped him see through tough things. Blaine was his rock just as Burt always was, but now he couldnt lean on Blaine for the support. He was faced with finding his courage all by himself. "How do I do this dad?"

"You have to be honest with him Kurt. You need to tell him what you heard and how you feel. If you cant talk about all of this, you guys are never gonna make it. Any relationship is based on communication and trust. You need to talk to find out the truth and you cant be scared to ask for the truth or hear the truth. You gotta be strong Kurt. You gotta fight for what you want." Burt was always filled with wisdom. You would never have thought Burt Hummel to be a sensitive, learned man, but he was. He was so much more that what people initially thought.

"I will dad. Ill talk to him. It just really hurts."

"Out of intense pain can come the deepest and intense love, kiddo. I know how much you love each other. You have to hear what he has to say."

Kurt knew Burt was right. He saw Blaines face when he yelled those things at him. Blaine looked like he didnt know what Kurt was talking about. He was caught off guard. Before he confronted Blaine, he needed to get his head together. He wanted to be strong. He didnt want to look like he was fragile. If he was going to get the truth, he needed to be strong and Blaine needed to understand that Kurt could not be taken for granted. He deserved to be treated like his husband. He deserved to be treated with respect and care. One thing Kurt also knew was that he needed to be understanding of what Blaine needed. He knew the pressure that Blaine was under was immense. The things he was working on could become the bones of new political policy in the future of their country. The symposium was a big deal and it meant a lot to Blaine, Kurt and possibly a nation of people someday. It was not small beans. Just like Carole has to sit by and watch Burt, he knew he might have to sit back and watch Blaine. This was just partying and getting drunk, but Kurt understood that the time spent with his peers was important to bond with them and gain their trust on their terms. He guessed it might be similar to getting drinks after a meeting with dignitaries or other politicians. Well, at least it could be equated to something like that in a much lesser degree. Kurt was determined to fight for them.

It was hours later when Kurt found the courage to return to their apartment. Hed spent most of the day in their new apartment just thinking. He stopped at Starbucks for a bite to eat and coffee. He needed strength. He entered the apartment to find silence. For a moment he panicked thinking Blaine choked on vomit and died while he was gone. In a nervous panic, he walked quickly to the bedroom to find Blaine curled into the chaise that he slept in last night. The blanket that he used was wrapped tightly around his body to his nose presumably so that Blaine could smell Kurt. Kurt went to the bathroom to see if the trash needed to be taken out, but Blaine must have done that already. What he found was the shirt that Blaine wore, balled up in the trash can.

Blaine had his glasses on as he slept. His eyes were puffy and red. Kurt guessed that he had done the same as Kurt and cried all day. Kurt looked around the room and took the footstool and set it by Blaines head so that he could sit comfortably for the discussion he dreaded. He whispered in Blaines ear. "Blaine, wake up." Blaine started to stir. "Come on Blaine, wake up." He whispered again.

Blaines eyes finally blink open and he responded back with a broken whisper. "Y-you came b-back." His eyes welled with tears.

"D-dont cry. Weve both done enough crying." Kurt touched his shoulder to nudge him up.

"Im sorry." Blaine turned in the chaise and hugged his knees to his chest. The blanket moved with him. He wasnt ready to give it up and he looked guilty which Kurt took as a bad sign.

"Dont be sorry. Be honest." Kurt said quietly but firmly. "I need to know Blaine. I need to know what happened last night."

"I dont know."

"What do you mean, you dont know." Kurt questioned.

Blaine looked at his knees while he tried to wrack his brain to remember. "I mean I really dont know. We went out for drinks and dancing because we finished our research and everyone was so happy. We were the first group to finish and there was this feeling of exhilaration that we could move on to the next step next week and start preparing for the discussions. Corinne and Lauren said we should celebrate and at first, I declined telling them I had to go home." Blaine sniffled and then looked up at Kurt. "Im sorry. I didnt want to be the only one to not go so I called you and you said okay."

"I was okay with it, but I wasnt okay with you coming home at two oclock and being drunk. That wasnt okay Blaine. Thats not who you are." Kurt was again firm and expecting an explanation.

"I know. We left the dance place and went to another bar and Justin took my phone saying that I wasnt allowed to call you anymore tonight. We ordered more drinks and some shots and before I knew it, I was totally drunk." Blaine hung his head in shame.

"What about my phone call Blaine?" Kurt wasnt going to tell him what he heard. He wanted to see what Blaine was going to say.

"Justin had my phone. You must have called when he had it because I dont remember you calling at all. I dont remember too much after we got to the other bar." Blaine hit himself in the head with his palm. "I tried to remember, but I cant. I even called Justin and he laughed at me. He told me that he was messing with my phone when an old boyfriend came up."

Kurts face turned to stone. "Friend? As in friend or boyfriend?"

"Justin told me this morning that hes Bi. I didnt know Kurt. I really didnt know. He said he was straight." Blaines tears fell with regret. "Im so stupid Kurt. Im just so stupid and Justin said I was stupid because I didnt know." Blaine heaved and laid back down covering himself and burying his face. He was so ashamed.

Kurt sighed. He was between angry at Justin and Blaine and a little at himself. He should have gone to get Blaine immediately. "I could have come to get you. I would have come immediately if you had answered. Instead I got to hear some guy hit on you. I got to hear some guy say he wanted to suck your dick. I got to hear the same guy say that you could spend the night this time." Kurt went silent. He finally said it out loud to Blaine.

"What? I-I dont..I didnt.. never Kurt. Never. I love you so much. I wouldnt. I would never cheat on you. I cant .. You know I cant. Youre everything to me." Blaine reached to Kurts hands.

Kurt pulled them away. "I cant Blaine. I cant right now. I need to know Blaine. I need to know. Did you cheat on me?"

Blaine sat up again and looked him in the eye. "No."

"Have you every cheated on me?"

"No Kurt." Blaines eyes didnt waiver. He was telling the truth.

"You were so drunk last night Blaine. How do you know?" Kurt was starting to break. The tears were threatening to fall because he heard the answer he needed to hear. He wanted it to be true.

"Kurt I would know. I come home to you every night because thats where I belong and where I want to be. I know even in my drunken state that youre the only one that I could possibly want." Blaine pleaded with Kurt.

"Do you know how awful last night was for me?" The tears fell finally. "Hearing someone else with you that wasnt me was like being hell. Hearing someone say they would touch you that intimately broke me Blaine. Do you know that feels to be broken?"

Blaine cried hard. How could he let it happen? "I know. I know Kurt. Its the same feeling when... when those bad things happened to you. When P-paul touched you. Its that feeling like your helpless and you didnt do everything you could have done to save the person you love. Its the feeling that they might enjoy someone else because you might not be good enough. Its the feeling of your chest splitting in two and swallowing you whole." Kurt sobbed at the memory because Blaine did know. Blaine will always understand and he knew that. "Its the doubt that youre not good enough and may never be good enough."

Kurt finally fell on top of Blaine with a sigh of relief. Blaine wouldnt knowingly cheat on him. It was something that he knew deep down in his heart. "I know it wouldnt happen on purpose."

"I know I didnt. I know my body and I know that I didnt do anything with anyone last night. I also think I knew who said all those things and if he werent in my group, I would kill him. I would throw him out with last weeks trash."

Kurt pulled away when it all came to him. "It was him. It was Justin, wasnt it? Mike told me to watch out for him and he was right."

"Mike? When did you see Mike?"

"Starbucks. He said he thought Justin was gay and closeted. He said he was a liar and bad news. Im sure it was him." Kurt finally kissed Blaines lips softly. Blaine released a grief stricken moan and his chest heaved with every bit of emotion. It was like he was saved. "Its okay. Sh... Its okay now Blaine. Its over. Well get past this. I know we will."

Blaines face was buried in Kurts chest. His hands clutched Kurts shirt. He never wanted to let go. "I thought I lost you forever. I prayed for you to come back. I dont even know what God I prayed to, but I prayed."

"You know Ill never say goodbye to you." They both cried. Kurt rubbed Blaines back in comfort. "Im still mad Blaine. Im still mad that you chose them over me."

"I know. I know it was wrong. I just couldnt say no. I felt like I had to go. Everyone else was going." Blaine chastised himself. "I gave in to peer pressure. Im so sorry I did." He was truly sorry and Kurt knew that he was.

The rest of the weekend was spent alone together. They ate in, talked until late in the night and when they werent talking they were staring. Neither initiated anything more intimate than holding hands and kissing because it wasnt time for that. They were both very deeply hurt to the core and they both needed to heal from different things. Kurt from being cheated on (but not) and Blaine from losing Kurt.

Kurt was still not alright, but this was a good start. A piece of trust was gone. It could still be repaired. In one conversation where Blaine apologized again, Kurt stopped him. "I dont want you to be sorry. I want you to be there for me. I want you to tell me the truth all the time and I want to be able to trust you."

"I want you to trust me too baby. I will never take you for granted again. I promise." Blaine was starting to tear up yet again.

"You hurt me Blaine. I cant tell you how much you hurt me, but it killed me." Kurt was honest with Blaine and the tears fell again. "Enough crying. Were done crying. I love you and you love me. Just, no more lies."

"I didnt lie to you. I love you too much to lie to you. Ill never drink like that again. I never want to be in this position with you ever again. It hurts me that I caused you pain." Blaine brushed his tears away.

"Its over. I forgive you. I dont forgive Justin, if thats who said those things, but I forgive you. I know it wouldve been hard to say no with the whole group going. It was sort of a bonding thing and I get it." Kurt ran his fingers into Blaine curls soothing him. It was almost unfair how easily Kurt could ease Blaines pain with such a simple gesture. Just the forgiveness was enough to ease it. He could feel the pain dissipate. His own pain eased out of him as Blaine kissed him softly and whispered his undying love for Kurt.