Chapter 68 - Two Days

Present Day

"Are you sure you want to do it this way?" Blaine was extremely on edge and worried. He looked at Burt and Carole. "Maybe it's better left alone."

"Bud. You don't have to do this." Burt and Carole were called in DC when it was learned that Paul was in custody. JR made sure that everyone was aware. "Sometimes it's good to walk away."

Two days ago

Today is Friday. Two days after seeing a psychologist for the first time. Two days after finally feeling like things were going in the right direction. Amanda told them that they were really in good shape. In two days, Kurt felt like he was trying to just keep everything together. Two days of thought over the fact that Paul was in custody. Two days of deciding if he wanted to see Paul or let him be deported and never return again. TWO DAYS!

Blaine was on edge. Everything looked up two days ago. Amanda Stewart was the psychologist extraordinaire in his eyes. He and Kurt were doing better without her help and she said it was because their relationship was so positive and supportive. TWO FREAKIN DAYS and Kurt decided this. Blaine knew that some of the decision was, in part, of the assignment that she gave them, but this might be the breaking point for Kurt. Blaine was terrified of what day four would look like.

Back to Present Day

"I'm fine. I'm scared. I'm angry. I'm... I'm... I need to do this." Kurt looked lost as he searched for the right words to describe how he felt right at this second. "I need to see him."

"Maybe you should just see him and make sure that he's going to go. We can talk to the people in charge and find out when he leaves and see if they can confirm his departure. We can even come back when he steps on the plane to leave here. Whatever you need." Blaine ran his fingers though his hair. His loose curls looked like they were being pulled out slowly. He was a little frantic as always when it came to Kurt. He couldn't help but feel like he needed to protect. It was in his nature, especially when it came to Kurt.

Kurt looked lost but resolved at the same time. "Blaine, I need to talk to him." He looked down at his lap seeming to attempt to gather his thoughts and shook his head. "This assignment-"

Blaine stomped his foot cutting him off abruptly. "I knew it. Dr. Stewart said that you needed to do something, but there are other things you can do, Kurt." Blaine was almost yelling and Burt put his hand on Blaine's arm to calm him for a second.

"Wait. Calm down. Kurt, are you sure this is something that you need to do. Help us understand, Kurt. Blaine loves you very much and to him it sounds crazy, but tell us why and we promise to try to understand." Burt looked at Blaine and nodded his head. "Right?" Blaine nodded in agreement thought he didn't think he could ever understand.

Kurt sat back in his chair. Thank God the jet had comfortable seating for all of them for the flight from DC to New York City. "This is not because Dr Amanda. This is for me. I feel like I owe it to myself to see him face to face. Especially since hearing about his problem. I need to know whether I should hate him for the rest of my life and learn to live with it or if I should find a way to forgive him because his doctors failed him."

Blaine couldn't believe it. He hated Paul more than anyone in his life ever, but because he knew Kurt, he understood. Kurt was always looking for reason. He was a fierce believer in everyone getting support to deal with things. In some ways, it was Burt's fault for always being so level headed and encouraging to be who you are.

Though it killed him, he reluctantly understood and agreed. "Okay. I'll be there with you every step of the way. Whatever you need from me, okay?"

Kurt smiled at Blaine and took his hand. "I need you Blaine, but I need to do this. I'm so glad that even though you disagree with what I'm doing, you'll support me. It means so much to me."

Blaine pulled Kurt's hand to his lips and kissed it. "That's why we make such a good team." He still hated the idea, but would support his future husband.

Burt smiled and took Carole's hand. The rest of the flight went by happily quiet. There was an understanding now.

Kurt was staring at himself in the mirror. He dressed as he always did because he wanted to look good. He wanted to be confident. JR had told him the night before what the rules would be.

"You can have anyone in the room with you. He's not in jail like regular jail, but he is incarcerated. He will not be cuffed, so if that's a problem, you need to let us know. Do you want Blaine and myself to go with you?"

"No. I want to do this alone. I need to do this alone. What does the room look like, will we be entirely alone?"

"The room will be a large room with a table. He should be seated already when you come in the room. The room itself has windows, but I'm not sure how many, so Blaine, your dad and I will be right there watching you. You can call us in anytime. There will be armed men in the room in case something goes wrong, but it shouldn't. I was told that he was quiet and non-violent when they went to get him. It was like he knew it was a matter of time."

Blaine questioned, "How long before he gets sent back?"

"It'll still be a few more weeks. He's going to a deportation camp until the paperwork is completed. Paperwork between the countries will take a little time. Then there's also Italy and whether he'll have to go back to serve the remainder of his sentence. They haven't filed extradition papers. His parents are wealthy, but they've been unsuccessful at getting him back quicker. It's all a slow process."

"Does he get to continue his treatment while incarcerated?"

"As long as he has medication. They would provide it. In his case, he will receive his medication because his parents made sure that he had enough.

Kurt nodded his understanding. "Is there a time limit for me to talk with him?"

"No time limit so you can say whatever you want and stay as long as you want." JR thought that was an odd question and glanced at Blaine.

"Baby, you say what you need to say and do whatever you need to do to be okay with all of this, okay?" Blaine rubbed his back in comfort and they decided to turn in for the night.

They didn't make love last night. Kurt really didn't need that. Kurt needed to feel loved in the simplest form of love, so Blaine held him caressed his face and ran his fingers in his hair repeatedly. Blaine whispered his devoted love to Kurt in his ear until he fell asleep in the comfort of Blaine's arms. Blaine stayed up long after Kurt fell asleep. He listened to Kurt's breathing even and sure. Blaine sensed the comfort Kurt felt in his arms. Blaine knew that Kurt felt protected and loved.

Kurt was snapped out of his memories by Blaine. "Are you ready sweetheart?" Blaine looked so concerned. Kurt didn't trust his voice so he just nodded. "Okay. They're waiting. Let's go and get this over with." Blaine held his hand out for Kurt to take and Kurt needed to take his hand to make it through this. Blaine squeezed.

The limo ride to the detainment center was quiet and Kurt gently tapped his foot as he waited to arrive. Burt leaned over to him. "You okay still?"

"Yeah. I'm ready." Kurt put his brave face as he looked out the window watching the buildings pass. Finally, they arrived at the building and the door opened for them to step out. Blaine stepped out first taking Blaine's hand as they waited for Burt and JR. They went through metal detectors and Kurt soon found himself standing behind the two parents waiting. JR had a conversation with the lady at the desk and soon JR was motioning them down the hall.

Kurt started to get nervous as they were met with a man that was clearly of authority and he punched numbers into a keypad that led to a room where there were two security guys. They stopped there to talk. "Mr. Hummel. When we enter this room, this will be where we make sure you have nothing that can be taken from you as a weapon. No sharp objects, you know. " Kurt just realized that they were getting special treatment. He should have expected that with Blaine's family and his dad. "Then we'll go down the hall and it'll be set up much like an interrogation room, just a little more roomy and nicer. Are you ready sir?"

"Yes. Thank you." Kurt was nervous. Blaine continued to support Kurt by holding his hand and offering a squeeze of encouragement. Kurt looked at Blaine who offered a small gentle smile.

"Okay. Here we are." The man looked at all of them. "Mr. Hummel will enter here and the rest of you will be here and watch what is going on. When you're ready sir." It dawned on Kurt in this moment that they were the only ones there. This was probably the result of being a congressman's son and future son in law to multimillionaires.

Kurt turned to face Blaine and Blaine nodded to the dads motioning them into the adjacent room. They went without question understanding that the boys needed a moment to regroup. It was Blaine that spoke first. "If you feel nervous at any moment, just ask for me and I'll be there in a second. You'll be great. I know you Kurt. You're so strong and I'm so proud of you wanting to do this. I may not agree, but I respect your decision to do this. I love you and I will always support you. I want you to know that."

Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's shoulders. "I love you so much and I know how much you believe in me. I also know how much you disagree with my need to do this and thank you for supporting me. I know it's hard to put aside your feelings about this." Kurt kissed him on the cheek. "I'm ready. I need to do this. It feels like the right thing to do and I need to do this alone."

Blaine pointed to the room. "I'll be right there. You're just a doorway away if you need me. I'll try not to listen too closely, but they said that the conversation had to be witnessed and we want to be the witnesses."

Kurt took Blaine's hands in his and squeezed. "I'm ready. Wish me luck."

"Good luck." Blaine took one last glance back before disappearing behind the door.

The man returned and motioned him toward the next door. "Mr. Hummel. He's in there already. There are two security guards as you need them. The door only opens from the outside, so whenever you're ready to leave, just advise the security guard by the door and we'll open it up. Do you understand?" Kurt nodded.

Everything seemed in slow motion as he put his hand on the door knob and turned it. He took one last deep breath before pushing it open. Paul was there sitting with his hands clasped on the table. He looked like a prisoner as he'd seen them on TV in bright orange. He was solemn but looked up at Kurt as he entered the room. Kurt said nothing, but uncomfortably sat in the chair across from Paul. Kurt immediately noticed that this was not the same Paul. This Paul looked broken down and quiet. Nothing of the loud confident bastard he met some eight months earlier.

Kurt quietly said, "Hello."

"Um.. Hello." Paul wiggled in his seat awkwardly trying not to make eye contact.

The silence was so thick. You could cut it with a knife. Out of nervousness from the silence, Kurt glanced at the window. It was mirrored, of course. It only permitted his loved ones to see him.

Blaine was jumping out of his own skin. He was biting on his fingernails. He wanted to run in there and kill the guy for not immediately apologizing for what he did to Kurt and to him. JR put a hand on his shoulder, "Calm down son. Give Kurt his time." Blaine tried, but he just sat down staring at the window and tapped his foot on the floor.

Back in the room, Kurt was calmer than he thought he would be when faced with his rapist. "Do you have anything to say to me?" He eyed him daring to attempt to coax something out of this jerk.

Paul had been looking at his hands in those seconds after the initial hello. "Um. Yes. I want to say I'm sorry for what I did to you."

Kurt's eyes narrowed. "Do you really mean it or is this just a ploy to get me to help you?"

"I mean it. I guess your boyfriend is on the other side of that mirror. I'm sorry to him too." Paul nodded toward the mirror.

"Is that it?"

"No. I want you to know that I really wasn't in my own mind. I had lots of problems, you know." He paused as if to gather everything he had to say. "I was bad. I was doing drugs while on medication. I never knew what I was doing. I was so out of control and I didn't even know why."

"You didn't know?" Kurt raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't. I swear I didn't know that I was bi-polar. That's what the doctors labeled me in Italy when I first got sick. My doctors in Paris said I was suffering from depression and I thought I was better when I took the medicine. I was better sometimes, but then sometimes I was so out of control that I bought drugs. I swear I didn't know what I was doing." Paul had a few tears roll down his cheeks. "You're so lucky to have a boyfriend that loves you and helps you when you need it. My parents.. Well, they were too busy to worry about my medical problems. They were too busy to notice that I would go days without sleeping and wouldn't remember a thing. Now they're trying to help me get out of here and get fixed the right way."

"And will they? Will they help you? Because you do need help. I hope you know that you need help and you really, really want to get better." Kurt raised his voice just a little bit. "Paul, you ruined my life for a while. What you did was unforgiveable."

Paul looked very remorseful. "I know and I'm sorry. I didn't know. I would never do that. I'm sorry. I know that it doesn't fix things. I know it'll never fix things, but I know I have to say and I want to say it."

"You tried to kill me and my boyfriend. You held a knife to my neck and you.. you.. did.." Kurt trailed off as he lost his voice in emotion. He stood up and walked toward the door.

"WAIT!" Paul stood and the security guards took steps toward the table. One had his hand on Paul's shoulder holding him. "I just need to.. I don't know. I need you to forgive me. I feel very bad about what I did. I can't believe I even did those things." Paul hung his head and shrugged.

Kurt turned back and sat down. "Tell me what's wrong with you."

"I know now that I'm bi-polar and that I need different medication to keep me from going into a psychotic episode like the times I wanted you. You have to believe me when I tell you I wasn't in my right mind. I don't even remember what I did, but I've been told over and over what I did and I feel sick to my stomach." Paul hung his head again in defeat. "I deserve to rot in hell for what I did to you and your boyfriend."

"But why? You said you don't remember."

"I remember waking up in handcuffs and blood all over me. I'm sorry I stabbed your boyfriend." He turned to the mirror with tears streaming down his face. "I'm so sorry. I didn't even know what I did. They handcuffed me to the hospital bed while they tried to figure out my injury and all I could see was blood. I didn't even know if it was mine or someone elses.

"It was Blaine's. It was my now fiance's blood. He beat the crap out of you, but not before you cut him. You cut him and he has two scars to show for it. Two scars, Paul."

"I don't know what to say. I wish I could take it back."

"But you can't." Kurt sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he glanced at the window again. "You know Paul, Blaine and I will always have those two scars to remind us of what happened. We'll have my nightmares and bad memories that make me crawl into the fetal position at night sometimes. I'm thankful for one thing and that's that you didn't kill Blaine."

"I don't remember anything from that night. No matter how hard I try, I don't think I'll ever remember anything about that day." Paul was remorseful.

Kurt was sure this wasn't fake remorse. It was real. "Listen. I know you're sorry. I'm sorry that I can't forgive you, no matter what your problem is. I just want you to get help and right away. You need to know about all the things you did. You need to live with it. Everyday, I want you to look in the mirror and know that you're a rapist."

"I know I don't deserve your forgiveness." Hearing the words from his victim were sharp and caused his eye to well with unshed tears.

"And you won't get it, not now, maybe not ever, but I hope that someday I will be able to forgive you. Right now it's still so raw. I think I could forgive you someday, but I don't know." Kurt shook the thought out of his head. He knew he was rambling. "I'm sorry." Kurt stood.

"Wait. You do believe me, don't you?"

Kurt sat back down in defeat because he knew the answer. "I do believe you. I believe you, but it doesn't change that it happened, or what it feels like even now months later." Kurt stood back up again. "I'm going to go now and I hope I never see you again. Don't contact me or Blaine. Just get help and get better. Don't ever do what you did to us ever again."

"Will you help me?" Paul asked.

Kurt turned around still standing. "Why would I?"

"I know you wouldn't, but I know I'm headed to a deportation camp. I heard they're really bad. My parents have been trying to get me home faster, which means to my prison sentence faster." He looked up and noticed the hardened look Kurt still had on him. "I guess not.. Forget it."

"Good-bye Paul." Kurt nodded to the security guard who talked into his wrist and the door opened. Kurt stepped out to find Blaine right there to grab him.

"Hey baby. You did wonderfully. How are you feeling?" Blaine held his face in his hands waiting for a response.

"I feel tired, but good." Kurt smiled at Blaine. He was feeling relieved. "I feel like I can breathe again."

Blaine was taken immediately by the smile Kurt had on his face. "Come here. Let's sit while my dad and your dad talk to the guy over there. You were perfect Kurt. You know that?"

"It felt good. I wanted to hate him, but I couldn't. He was a totally different guy in there. His remorse is real Blaine. I hate him, but in a different way. I feel like everyone failed him." Kurt was talking passionately as he always did when he wanted something done.

"Wait a minute Kurt. Where are you going with this?" Blaine knew it before he even asked the question.

"I want to help. Not help him get off all the charges, but I want to help him get home sooner and if he has to serve the time, let him serve it. I want to do something that would ensure that he gets the right medication and treatment. I want him to remember me for a few things, but not for what he did to me. I want him to know that I was the guy he wronged, but had compassion to help. The guy that he hurt so badly, but still had the sense to understand his problem and ensure he received the right treatment." Kurt was off on a tangent and Blaine knew this was what he loved about Kurt. Kurt was a good person. He was eager to help people that needed the help. Even though this guy really didn't deserve it, Kurt was smart enough to know that if he had the help before, none of this would have happened.

Blaine still hated him, but seeing Kurt light up like he was going to save the world, made him back off almost entirely. Blaine still harbored the anger of what he did to them. He knew Kurt still had anger about it, but Kurt also knew that the guy needed a break of some sort. JR and Burt were done talking and headed back toward the boys when they heard Kurt's request. "Dad, JR. I want to help Paul."

It was like they both knew what Kurt was going to say before he said it. "Are you sure you want to do this Kurt?" His dad asked, know full well what the answer was.

"Yes dad. But this is how I want it done."

Paul thought positively as he was boarding a plane on his way back to Paris. The agreement was clear and he got a new lease on life. "The agreement set forth by my son and his fiancé are very strict. If you break any rules, you will go back to the Italian rate infested cell that you lived in before you got lucky enough to escape." But was serious because, try as he might, he still hated the guy with a passion.

"I understand." Paul was serious. "I want to get better."

"You better. Kurt went to a lot of trouble to get me to do this. You will go to the rehabilitation center in Paris for the rest of your sentence. If you leave or are willingly not participating in the program, you go to jail in Italy. Once your sentence is complete, you will complete two thousand hours of community service. You will speak at schools and work at rehabilitation centers to receive credit for the hours. You are not permitted in the United States. If you are ever caught handling another man that denies any advances, I will come down here myself and kick the shit out of you." Burt knew he probably couldn't at his age, but there was no harm in threatening him. "Do you understand these terms?"

Paul nodded. "Please tell Kurt, thank you."

"I will, and just so you know. I'm Congressman Hummel. Kurt's father."

Paul's mouth dropped open. "You're Kurt's dad?"

"One in the same and I hate you. Kurt's a better person than all of us and because I love my son, you are getting the benefits of his dad knowing people in high places. Now, get going and remember all of the rules. They are outlined for the guards accompanying you home." Burt leaned in one last time. "If you break the rules forget about Italian prison, I'll come get you all by myself and no one will ever find you."

Paul glanced at Burt and knew he was telling the truth.