Chapter 55 - The Air I Breathe

"I don't understand Burt." Blaine hugged his future father in law with tears in his eyes. "Kurt knows that I love him. He knows he can talk to me."

"Listen Buddy. Kurt has a lot of layers. He holds things in if he knows it might hurt the people he loves. I would bet he's been holding in all of this worry for weeks. He'll come around. Until then, you don't have any idea?"

"But what does Kurt have to worry about. Everything we do, we've done together. We've figured it out together."

"Come on Blaine. Let's sit and I'll have Carole make us some coffee." Blaine released Burt. He needed the comfort that he'd been aching for all night. After the anger went away, Blaine needed to be held and there was no one to hold him. He wrapped the blanket around him in the guest room, but it was nothing compared to the sure warm body of Kurt. Burt was like a father to him and this was just one more thing he needed. He needed a dad to talk to.

He followed Burt into the kitchen where Carole was making dinner. "Blaine honey, are you okay?" Clearly not okay because he was crying.

Blaine just shook his head and sat down rubbing his face and brushing tears away. "Kurt won't talk to me and yesterday he was really disrespectful to Mr. Shue and then he said my mom and grandmother were servants of my dad and granddad. He actually said that he wasn't going to serve me like they did. I have never treated him with anything but respect. You know I respect him, right?" Blaine had to take a deep breath after rattling off all of that information.

Carole took pity on Blaine and pulled him into a hug. "Blaine, honey, everything is fine. Shouldn't you be at glee practice?"

"I couldn't. I needed to talk to you guys. I just needed to know what I should do."

"Let's all sit and talk about this." Burt grabbed mugs and brought them to the coffee table. "Now, tell us what happened."

"Burt, he completely blew up at Mr. Shue during glee yesterday and he was rude. Completely rude. He wasted everyone's time and he accused me of trying to own him. Did Finn tell you everything?"

"He didn't, but he's Finn. He couldn't really remember except that it was bad and you were angry. He said you were yelling. Very loud."

"I was. I did. Whatever the case, Kurt needed to apologize and he needed to talk to me yet he still closed me off."

"Blaine, I think he's still worried about being good enough for you. I'm not positive, but I talked to Kurt in Boston and he was still worried if being himself was good enough. I think this goes way back."

Blaine bowed his head and tears formed once again. He knew that by not realizing his feeling for Kurt earlier, that he caused some damage. He was sure that it had been repaired many times over. "I know I caused Kurt to doubt himself and I've tried so hard to dispel any thoughts in the maze of a mind of his. I love him Burt. I love him so much that I'm here talking to you just so I can figure out how to get through to him." Tears slowly fell from the sad hazel eyes. "He doesn't trust me."

Carole reached out to hold his hand while Burt responded. "He loves you so much Blaine. I'm afraid that he thinks too much and worries too much and he cares so much about you. He would never want to fail you or your family. Maybe he thinks he's not good enough for you. He's feeling a lot of pressure to live up to your family name."

"But, I never want him to be anything other than himself. I would never and have never asked him to be someone he's not. I'm proud of Kurt just the way he is. I fell in love with him just being Kurt Hummel."

Burt sighed. Was it possible that Kurt was pushing buttons on purpose? "Do you think he's doing it on purpose?"

Blaine immediately shook his head. He couldn't believe that Kurt would do that. BUT? "I don't think so. No. I don't think he would do that on purpose. Why would he do that?"

"Maybe to make you leave so he didn't have to disappoint you?"

"That doesn't even make sense to me. He know's I'm nothing without him. He knows, Burt."

Carole didn't feel that she could add anything to the discussion at this point. Blaine needed a father so she sat and held Blaine's hand stroking at his palm soothingly. "Blaine, honey, what are you going to do?" She finally said after a minute of silence between the men at the table.

"I don't know. I told Finn to bring Kurt here after practice and he's probably going nuts right now not knowing what is going to happen next. I haven't talked to him since this morning and he pretty much ignored me all day." Blaine laid his head on the table eyes welling with tears yet again. "He needs to apologize to me. He really needs to do this."

Burt answered, "He will. I know he will. He's just so headstrong sometimes and it's hard for him to admit mistakes after he pushed back so hard. Kurt will hate to admit he's wrong, but he'll do that for you."

"I hope so, because I feel like I'm dying inside."

"I'll talk to him when he gets here. Where do you want to be when he gets here?"

"I think it would be best if I waited for him at home. He might be more receptive to talking if I wasn't here."

Carole squeezed his hand. "You go home and we'll send him to you Blaine."

"What if he decides he doesn't want to come home to me? I slept in the guest room last night. I can't do it again." Blaine looked pitiful.

Burt stood. "He'll come home to you. He loves you and I know that he's just as miserable as you are."

Blaine stood and was engulfed in a hug with both Burt and Carole. It was Carole that made him cry. "He'll always come home to you sweetheart. You both belong to each other. It'll always be so."

Blaine wiped his face with his sleeve and grabbed his keys and headed out the door. "I love both of you so much. You've been such great parents to me."

"And you've been a great son." Burt smiled.

Kurt's heart sunk as they pulled into the driveway at his dad's house. Blaine's car wasn't there. He felt like throwing up. He finally did it. He caused Blaine to turn him away for good. He could only look down in his lap as the tears found their way to his lap.

Finn noticed. "Dude. Don't worry. I'm sure Blaine has something planned. He wouldn't leave you." Finn rubbed Kurt's shoulder gently. "You were kind of a jerk. I'm sure he's just trying to figure out what's bothering you." Finn got out of the car and started toward the door only to see Kurt continue to cry in the front seat. He turned back around and headed to the passenger door opening it and bending down to say something. "Kurt, come on. Let's go in. Burt will know what to do."

Kurt finally gave in and took Finn's hand letting him pull him up and toward the house. Kurt didn't want to go in. "What if he wants me to move out and stay at home again?"

"Kurt, you guys are getting married. You're going to have fights. Look at me and Rachel? We fight all the time." Finn laughed and Kurt couldn't help but laugh with him.

"Let's go in and see where I'm going to sleep tonight."

"Kurt, come sit." Carole urged Kurt to the table and handed him a coffee. "Your dad will be down in a second. We have some things to talk about."

Kurt obeyed. "Carole!" The tears came in streams down his face. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was mean and rude."

Carol patted his hand and looked up to see Burt enter the kitchen. Burt sighed. "Oh, Kurt. Son, what's going on?"

"Dad, I'm so sorry. Is Blaine leaving me?"

"I don't think there's a thing that could keep Blaine form you. He loves you so much, but he's angry."

"I know." Kurt wiped his face. "How do you know that?"

"Because he was just here in the same seat with the same tears."

"He was?"

"Yeah. He was. He's upset Kurt. It sounds to me like he had a right to be upset."

Kurt bowed his head. "Am I staying here tonight?"

"Nope. You're going home to Blaine. I told you that he loves you and he does." Burt paused and finally sat down. "But, we need to talk first."

"I know I was wrong and I apologized the Mr. Shue."

"You need to apologize to Blaine."

"I will. I will as soon as I get home."

"You need to be honest with him."

"I promise."

"What's going on Kurt? You've always talked to Blaine before, yet he says you won't tell him what's wrong. I know you. I'm your dad. You're hiding something or avoiding something."

Kurt nodded. "I am. I pushed him. I did it on purpose."

"And?"

"I don't deserve him."

"Why not?"

"You were there dad. We're different. We grew up in different worlds."

"Yet, it's you he picked."

"When he should be with someone more refined, someone more refined and willing to give in and act the way he expects."

"When did he ever tell you to act a certain way?" Burt listened intently. Having spoken to Blaine first gave him patience to listen to Kurt. "When has he asked you to be anything but yourself?"

"He never has, but he deserves someone that understands his world and can represent his family well. He deserves someone that-"

"Wait a minute. Is this still about the talk you had with his grandmother?"

"Kind of. I just keep thinking that he could be with someone that is more like them. Maybe if I push him harder, he'll think I'm not worth it. I can't bear to be without him and the longer we're together the harder it'll be."

"Kurt, you need to listen and listen hard. Blaine has made his choice. If he wanted someone that would represent his family a certain way, he probably would have. He told me he loves you and loves you just the way you are. He loves your individualism and what you bring to the table. He doesn't expect you to conform at all and I know his family doesn't expect that either."

"But-"

"But nothing Kurt. Answer me this. Do you love Blaine?"

"With all my heart."

"Then what's going on?"

"Am I good enough for him?"

"Don't you think he's already made that decision?"

Kurt finally smiled at his dad. "Yeah. I just didn't want to disappoint him someday."

"It's not possible. That young man sat here, cried and told me he's nothing without you, so do yourself a favor and quit making his decisions for him. Just let him love you."

Kurt was crying, but now it was out of happiness. "He really does love me, doesn't he?"

"He does and I think he deserves you to return it if he's what you want."

"I do. I want him forever."

"Then quit worrying about disappointing him because I'm telling you now. Not one of them care. They just want you to be happy and be yourself. You're good enough Kurt. Don't ever think you're not good enough. Blaine knows you're good enough."

Kurt's smile widened. "Can someone take me home? I need to talk to Blaine. I need to apologize and tell him how much I love him. Please?"

The three of them stood. Carole hugged Kurt, "Go get him sweetheart."

Burt motioned for Kurt to head out to the car. "I'll get you home. It's a good thing you live close." He glanced at Carole on the way out the door. She nodded her understanding.

Carole immediately pulled out her phone and texted Blaine.

To Blaine:

He's on his way home to you.

To Carole:

Thank you Carole.

To Blaine:

Good luck Sweetheart!

To Carole:

Thank you.

Blaine lit a few candles and the pizza he had ordered was heating in the oven. Blaine had set them up a blanket in the family room where he lit the few candles and had music playing. He wanted to be romantic for Kurt. He wanted Kurt so badly. He was sure that he would always want Kurt. He had to make Kurt see that nothing mattered and that he could trust him. Blaine was so confused about Kurt not trusting him.

Blaine was sitting on the sofa waiting for Kurt and heard the door open and shut. Kurt's footsteps hesitated just before walking in to see Blaine sitting on the sofa. Blaine turned to see him and felt his heart burst with fear and love and whatever was going on. He stood and could see Kurt noticeably gulp. Kurt was clearly nervous when he squeaked out, "Hi."

"Hi Kurt."

"I-I'm sorry." Kurt looked straight into Blaine's eyes.

"I love you." Blaine gave a slight closed mouth smile.

Kurt felt relief wash over him. The stress he was feeling finally dissipated and tears wet his cheeks. Blaine walked slowly over to him and took his hands, wrapping them gently around his own waist as he wrapped his arms around Kurt to pull him in tightly. Kurt cried into his neck as Blaine just stroked his fingers through the chestnut hair. "I don't deserve you."

"You do. There's no one else for me, Kurt. You're it. You're my perfect match. You have to believe me." Blaine pushed his upper body away and held Kurt's face with his palms. Kurt wouldn't look directly at him. He thumbed away the tears that fell. "Look at me. Please."

"I can't." Kurt kept his eyes shut.

"Please Kurt. Please look at me. Please tell me what's wrong." Blaine had tears in his eyes when Kurt finally opened his eyes to look at him.

"Oh God. You- No Blaine. Don't cry. It was all me." Kurt pushed Blaine toward the sofa when he noticed Blaine had laid out a blanket for them. This was in addition to the candles that were already lit. It was romantic. Blaine did it for him. He really did love him. "I'm going to tell you what I was stressed over. Please listen because I just need to know." Kurt trailed off. It was like he couldn't say it.

"Know what, Kurt? Please talk to me." Blaine's tears fell slowly as he waited attentively.

"I needed to know if you would rather be with someone more refined and more like your family. I'm afraid to make mistakes and make your family look bad. Your grandmother told me everything to expect and I just thought that maybe you would want someone else someday."

"Did she ever make you feel that you weren't good enough?" Blaine almost worried. It wasn't like his family. They had lots of money, but were not usually pretentious like that.

"No. She actually said I was perfect for you. I just started to think."

"Stop right there. You need to stop thinking about us. There's nothing to think about. We are Blaine and Kurt. We will always be Blaine and Kurt. There is NO ONE else for me. You are my perfect mate and we are going to get married and live happily ever after."

"Are you really sure about me?" Kurt seriously questioned.

"I've never been more sure about anything before you, Kurt. You're everything to me. I could barely function today when we weren't talking. I couldn't sleep last night. I need you like I need air to breathe." Blaine pulled Kurt to him and kissed him like he was the air that he needed to live. It was deep and his tongue traced his mouth. He whined with need. When he ended the kiss he took Kurt's hand and placed it over his heart. "You make my heart beat Kurt."

Kurt pushed Blaine completely on the couch and covered Blaine's body with his own. He stared into Blaine's eyes, kissing him gently on the lips. "I'm sorry I doubted us."

"I know you are. Just know that I don't work without us. You're the air I breathe. I need you in my life forever Kurt. I know it sounds crazy, but you are the person that keeps me alive."