Storm – Chapter Eighteen
Blaine groaned face down in to the couch pillow. He had not seen or heard from Kurt since he dropped Blaine home last night. Everything that happened yesterday was perfect, unexpected, but perfect nonetheless. Until Jake decided to make his appearance. Why then? It could have been any other time and it would have been okay.
Blaine was having a terrible day at school. Ever since he had come back to school everything had been terrible. Kids at McKinley had a lack of respect. They didn't care that Rachel had died only a few weeks ago, they didn't care how it affected Blaine. They didn't care about anyone but themselves.
Their comments ran through his head constantly every day. "Too busy getting laid that you couldn't watch your sister?" And they laughed. "You are a terrible brother." "Brothers are supposed to protect their sisters, aren't they? Congratulations, you failed. Have your sisters gold stars." They laughed. "Your sister was so stupid." They laughed. "Your sister was a waste of space. It's a good thing she died." They laughed. "Rachel had such a big mouth. She was so obnoxious. Glad, I don't have to hear her yelling in these halls anymore." They would laugh. Blaine would bite his tongue and clench his hands and walk away. He couldn't let those idiots affect him. He would not fight anymore. He would not let his anger get the best of him anymore. He didn't need to listen to them. It was nothing he couldn't handle.
Blaine rolled over looking at the ceiling with a light sigh. He needs to talk to Kurt. He needs to set things straight. Seeing Jake last night made it seem like he was a slut and slept around. They made it seem like Kurt was just another guy. Blaine knew what it felt like. He knew what it was like to be used and played with. But he wouldn't play with Kurt. Maybe back when they first met, when Blaine didn't know him or understand him. But now, things are different.
"Blaine, you skipped school and don't make it home till eleven, shockingly, and I half expect you to be punching walls from whatever thing you did to skip school. But you’re laying here like someone killed your dog," Nathan came into the living room and place a book on the bookshelf. He waited for Blaine's usual snarky self and braced for the comments. Neither Nathan nor Jeffery had had the time to talk to Blaine since the night he came home drunk. Blaine was probably was avoiding them with all intent possible.
"I think my heart is broken, Nate," Blaine turned his head from being stuffed with a pillow. Nathan froze unsure why Blaine had not said anything rude and disrespectful. "On top of Rachel leaving, my heart feels like it is being ripped in two from my idiot stupid mistakes that were unkindly presented in front of Kurt last night. And now I don't know what to do."
Nathan turned to him shocked, "You were with Kurt last night?" Blaine turned lying on his back, "Yes." Then began to show interest in the ceiling. Nathan walked to the couch and sat down on the arm near Blaine's head. He looked down at the boy curiously. Was this it? Was Blaine finally opening up? Blaine looked up at Nathan through his eyelashes and wore a sad expression.
"Care to explain how about two weeks ago you were drunk and crying on this exact couch about how Kurt didn't even want to be near you and now you're saying you spent yesterday with him and once again he doesn't want to be near you. Because I'm feeling a bit confused." Nathan wondered how much he was going to get out of this boy. He kind of wished that Jeffery was home to witness this.
Blaine turned on his side grabbing the spare pillow that was placed on the floor and bringing it to his chest, "Some idiots at school were bothering me and before I knew it Kurt was standing by my side defending me. I still can't believe that he was defending me. I ended up punching some kid."
Nathan rolled his eyes, "of course."
Blaine ignored him, "I then asked him to leave the school with me."
"Which we need to talk about also," Nathan interrupted.
"He said yes to that also! Jesus Christ... I brought him, he drove but I directed him, to the festival near my old school. We hung out and were just there, like for each other. And I pulled him his comfort zone by bringing him on the bumper cars and won him a stuff animal. Everything was perfect Nathan. Everything. His laugh, smile, and even the looks he gave me when he didn't think I was looking. But I was always looking because he's just so beautiful and I can't help but... Then I offered to take him to get pizza. It was great. Then fucking Jake walked in."
"Jake, as in, purple hair, stealing from our liquor cabinet, almost setting the backyard and your bedroom on fire on two separate occasions, going to juvie, not allow to enter this house but does anyway, your best friend Jake?"
"He's not going to juvie anymore and I'm half tempted to punch him in the balls and never speak to him again," Blaine grunted.
"Don't think I want to know how he got out of that. What'd he do last night that has you so upset, Blaine?"
"He said some stuff about me and then hit on Kurt like some sleazy drunk bastard," Blaine spat.
"That's because he is," Nathan muttered to himself. "Look Blaine, if you want to be with Kurt like I think you want to be with him then you are going to have to tell him things about you. About your past and the stupid crap you have done. You can't base a relationship off of lies and unknown pasts."
Blaine groaned, "I know. I mean I plan on telling him eventually but I just... Last night was so good and it was ruined in like thirty seconds."
"Blaine, I'm going to tell you something that I probably shouldn't but I feel if I tell you to the not to you'll go and do it anyway," Nathan stated seriously.
Blaine looked up. "Go get him, Blaine. Go apologize or explain now before it's too late. Kurt's a good guy. He's good for you. But I swear to god, if you do anything that I saw or didn't see you do to him already I will be ridiculously pissed. This better not be some joke that you and Jake are playing. Because Kurt is a person, Blaine. He has feelings and doesn't deserve to be messed with. So don't fuck up." Blaine eyed Nathan carefully, shocked to hear him swear for probably the first time ever.
"I'm not going to play with him," Blaine sat up placing his feet on the ground.
"I think I-" Blaine searched for the right word. Any word that he could say that would explain what he is feeling.
"I understand. I see that you’re not lying," Nathan placed a hand on Blaine’s shoulder. "Now go."
Blaine smiled at him appreciatively. He walked to the edge of the living room set in his determination. He paused and turned back to Nathan,” Thank you." And he left.
Blaine ran to his bedroom grabbing his skateboard cursing to himself for getting his license revoked a month ago. He didn't even know where Kurt was going to be or how fast he was going to have to move. First stop, Kurt's house and he hoped that he was there because who knows where he'd be if he wasn't. This was going to be fun.
The ride to Kurt's house didn't take long, but the lack of Kurt's car in the driveway was unsettling to Blaine. He glided up the drive way before jumping off and kicking the skate board up in his arms. The sun was high up in the air shining down and Blaine took it as a good sign.
The doorbell could be heard flowing through the house from the outside. Blaine felt antsy; he had never done something like this before. Telling someone his feelings or whatever he was doing.
The door swung open. Blaine's heart dropped when it wasn't Kurt that answered, but was Kurt's father.
"Uh-" Blaine searched for the right words to say.
"Blaine," Burt mumbled. "What are you doing?"
"I, well you see- I came here to- Kurt talk want-," Blaine groaned bringing a hand to cover his face from embarrassment. "Is Kurt home? I really need to talk to him." Burt looked over Blaine's covered face.
"No. He’s not. But he should be. He's lucky I don't ground his butt for skipping school after he promised. And don't get me started on how he didn't end up coming home till after one last night. That kid-" Burt mumbled something to himself.
"One?" Blaine asked out loud and Burt gave him a stern look. "Bu- Mr. Hummel, him skipping school yesterday was my fault. Don't punish him, I-"
"What do you mean it was your fault?" Burt interrupted.
"Well, there were these kids at school and they were bothering me. Then, Kurt came out of nowhere defending me. Then those idiots threatened to hit Kurt but I ended up hitting them instead. And it just ended up being this, like, messy thing. So I asked Kurt to leave school with me. And he- he did," Blaine explained.
"Oh," Burt looked passed Blaine thinking over Blaine's story. "I see. So then-"
"We went to this festival near my old school and-"
"Listen Blaine, I have heard all about you and your stupid stunts you like to pull. I'm good friends with your fathers. So as you probably can figure out I know why you are here. “Blaine looked down disappointed. "And it you are thinking about messing with my boy I will kindly beat your ass with their permission. So don't even-"
"Mr. Hummel with all due respect. I don't plan on hurting or messing with Kurt," Blaine looked at him with honest eyes. "I plan to treat him the way he should be treated and no other way. I'll give him my heart and he can decide what he wants to do with it. And if he plans to give me his in return, I'll protect it with everything I have. When I look at him, I can't see anything but him and what I feel for him." Burt hummed in response.
"Do you know where I can find him?" Blaine whispered.
"He went to the cemetery," Burt responded.
"Thank you. Thank you so much," Blaine turned.
"Blaine." And he froze turning back. "Don't make me regret this."
"I won't. I promise." And Blaine left.
Burt shook his head, "what am I doing?" He walked back inside closing the door.
Blaine cursed as the skate board hit the dirt roads of the cemetery. He picked himself up from his falling position and quickly brushed of his hands. Grabbing the skateboard in his hand, Blaine began running. He wasn't sure exactly where Kurt would be. There was the chance he was visiting Rachel; he knew where that site was. But then there was the chance that he could be visiting his mother and Blaine had no idea where that site was. So he ran searching, looking everywhere. He found Rachel's site empty and Blaine debated on saying something. He bit his lip staring at the stone.
"Rach," he whispered. "I'll take care of him. I swear. I'm so sorry, Rach." And he took off again praying that Kurt was still here. The aura around him felt off. He felt like he was being watched. It was a main reason he couldn't stand being in cemeteries. Blaine huffed as he ran. He didn't realize how big this cemetery actually is.
Then he saw it. Kurt's car. It was parked in a different part of the cemetery from where Rachel is placed. Blaine leaned against the car. His lungs burned but he ignored it. Because there was Kurt sitting in front of a stone. He wasn't saying anything, but his posture said everything that needed to be said. Blaine placed the skateboard down and began making his way to Kurt. He felt nervous and scared.
"Kurt," it was soft but Kurt jumped and stood quickly turning.
"Uh, Blaine. What- what are you doing here?" He looked around skeptically. Blaine stared at the boy in awe. Kurt glowed as he looked at him. But Kurt was frozen. Petrified. And Blaine walked closer placing a hand on Kurt's cheek.
"Kurt, I-" Blaine searched those blue eyes before moving in wanting nothing but to kiss him.
"I can't do this. I- I can't. I don't know what this is. These- these feelings inside, Blaine." Tears pooled in his eyes. "I can't tell if I have feelings for you or if I just feel attached to you because you are the closest thing to having Rachel back in my life. I don't want to act on something that I can't read. I'm... Blaine, I'm sorry. It's just too much." Kurt turned away, his arms wrapped tightly around himself. Blaine bit his lip nervously debating on what to say.
"Kurt," he said softy and Kurt stiffened. He couldn't understand why Blaine wouldn't just leave him alone. He has told him to back off some many times already and he just keeps coming back. "When I first saw you Kurt, I couldn't breathe. I felt suffocated. Overwhelmed. You glowed like stars in the night sky.
“Everything around you shined and sparkled in my eyes. I was overcome with emotions that flooded my body and mind. I had the want and need to talk to you, to feel you, to just be near you. But I wasn't the coolest of people; I've been lost for so long Kurt. Lost and confused about what I wanted to be and wanted to do with myself. I knew nothing but how to destroy things. How to tear apart so bad that even the best of the best couldn’t put it back together. For the past couple of years that is all I did. I destroy my relationship with Jeffery and Nathan and destroyed my friendship with Rachel and wouldn't let anyone get close enough to know what was on the inside.
“But when I saw you, I didn't want to break you, because I could tell you were already. When I saw you I wanted to do anything to fix you and make you feel how you should. Wanted. Loved. Cared for. But I was so shattered that I did only what I knew best. And I'm not proud of what I did and how I continued to. And you put me on this track to recovery and you didn't even realize it. The last conversation that I had with Rachel, even though she stormed out angrily, made me realize that I didn't want to be the way I was any more. I needed to change. I was determined to do whatever I could and then... Then everything happened and after we arrived back in Ohio, I felt lost again. And then I found you on your porch that day, I saw you and I didn't feel lost anymore."
"But I yelled at you and said hateful things," Kurt’s arms wrapped tighter around himself as he spoke.
"You did, but you were just as lost as I was. After everything. You were scared of me. And that’s okay, because I'm scared too, Kurt. I've been scared ever since the day I met you. I've never felt this way before, about anyone. And don't listen to Jake, he don't know shit about me. He thinks he knows everything. And you can't say you don't feel the same about me, because if you didn't you would have left before I started talking."
Kurt couldn't move. His heart felt like it was being squished by a 500 pound weight. He hurt all over. "Why does this hurt so badly?" Kurt sobbed. "It shouldn't hurt this bad." Hands gripped his shoulders lightly and he was turned to face Blaine. Blaine hands found their way up to the boy’s face, wiping at the falling tears and Kurt could see Blaine’s eyes shine with tears too.
"Love takes courage, Kurt," Blaine whispered taking a small step forward their bodies inches apart and slide his hands to Kurt's waist.
"Love?" Kurt breathed with wide eyes.
Blaine signed, "Kurt everything around you - everything about you -pulls me in. The way you pretend to hate me when you really don't. The way you think you are hiding from everyone but I can read everything like it is written on your face. The way you cared for Santana and took care of my sister when I was being an idiot. And I-I can only assume that I will fall in love, if I’m not already, in love with you. Because I can't seem to get enough of you. Kurt, all I am asking, is if you have some courage to let me love you."
Kurt's hand found their way to Blaine’s neck pulling him into a fierce kiss but he then abruptly pulled back, eyes full of shock looking at a matching pair. Blaine let out a sharp breath before wrapping his arms fully around Kurt's waist and pressing their bodies together. Kurt responded by wrapping his arms around Blaine’s neck, eyes fluttering closed, and slotting their lips together. Blaine felt Kurt's tear filled lashes brush against his cheek and pulled Kurt closer, lifting him off the ground a little, wanting and needing to comfort the boy in his arms. Kurt pulled back with a squeal before seeing Blaine's smile and let out a giggle. Kurt's eyes shined with something Blaine had never seen before and he placed a few soft kisses on the corner of Kurt's mouth. Kurt shied away turning his head so Blaine kissed to the shell of Kurt's ear.
"You're so beautiful," he whispered.