Storm – Chapter Fourteen

Hours. Days. Years past, perhaps. Kurt didn't know. Everything was askew. He returned home from the airport a day ago and walked paralyzed to his bedroom where he has been ever since. His family would come to his door with quiet pleads hoping that Kurt would talk or at least leave the room. But Kurt refused silently, while his eyes strained on every item in his room as if he was afraid that it would suddenly grow legs and walk right out of his life like his mother had many years ago and liked Rachel just did.

At times his mind would not stop moving; would not stop thinking about everything and anything. Then the rest of the time everything was silent and still as can be. And it pained him both ways. He felt alone and that that no one could help him.

Kurt had questions. So many damn questions but there was- who could he ask that would understand, that would actually be able to help him? No one, Kurt thought. There was absolutely no one in the world that could help Kurt in the way that he need at this moment in time because Kurt didn't know what he needed. And his father… well.

The wind rustled the empty tree branches outside of Kurt's window and the fresh layer of snow that had fallen a few hours ago sparkled making everything glisten and look magnificent, as if was a shiny new toy. Kurt couldn't remember the last time he saw something so beautiful. But then again, beauty didn't make Kurt feel better or want to move from the position he is in.

Kurt sat above the blankets that lay on his bed. He wore silk pajamas with fuzzy socks covering his toes. He shivered grabbing the throw blanket next to him and threw it over his legs gently. He sighed contently.

There was a knock at that bedroom door but he had no intention to answer. What was the point? They would just invade Kurt's space anyway. They always do. Invade. Multiple times since he had returned home. Invading. There was no point of saying no to the entry because they would anyway. The door slowly opened and Kurt rolled his eyes having no intention in actually acknowledging whoever it was.

"Kurt?" his father's voice flowed in the room cautiously. When Kurt didn't answer Burt entered and walked over to Kurt's bed. "Kurt." he said again sitting down on the edge of the mattress. Kurt didn't move. "How are you feeling today?"

The question surprised Kurt. He could almost laugh out loud at the ridiculous question. How is one supposed to feel after losing a best friend? How is one supposed to feel facing their own death? How is one supposed to feel making stupid decisions like the one made just days… hours… ago… How is one supposed to go on?

Kurt turned to look at his father with a small glare. Burt sighed deciding to drop that question.

"Kurt, you need to do something. You cannot just sit here and do nothing," Burt argued.

"Who's going to stop me from doing nothing?" Kurt snapped.

"I am!" Burt yelled. Kurt gritted his teeth turning to look back out the window now ignoring his father presence. Burt signed again, stood and left without another word.

After another hour of starring absentmindedly out the window, Kurt decided to actually take his father's advice and change his surrounding area. He stuffed up his blanket around his body tightly and shuffled out of his room and down the stairs. Kurt carefully stepped out the front door shutting it quietly behind him and sat down on the porch swing. The air was nippy and the breeze pushed against his pale face turning it a tinted pink. Kurt could tell if the temperature increased the numb empty feeling he felt or actually made him feel something- anything. Kurt breathed deep letting the frozen air to burn in his lungs.

It wasn't long after Kurt's peaceful breathing was he interrupted by the sound of footsteps coming near him. He opened his eyes and glared to the sounds, almost gasping in horror at what he saw. He regretted taking his father's advice because there stood Blaine with his dark curls wind-blown, leather jacket zipped tightly up to his chin, hand shoved deep into the pockets, and the bottom of his jeans soaked from trudging thought the un-shoveled sidewalks.

Kurt walked to run. Run back to the comfort of his emotionless bedroom. But he couldn't. Something just wouldn't let him.

Blaine cautiously made his way to the steps of the porch and starred at Kurt with his heart racing. Their eyes locked and the world briefly stopped around them and Blaine wished that he knew how he ended up here and what made him end up here at Kurt's house.

"I-"

"What are you doing here, Blaine?" Kurt snapped ignoring the nagging feelings deep inside.

"I- uh- I..." Blaine stammered. Kurt rolled his eyes finally breaking contact.

"Spit it out Blaine. Are you here to cry with me? Or to take something else away from me? Maybe you are here to laugh at me? To prove- to brag that you finally got into my pants? I don't- what you want from me now?" Kurt questioned. Blaine looked confused at Kurt's words and Kurt couldn't stand to look at him.

"Did you think that now Rachel is gone, you can prance the way over here and we could buddies? Or maybe you came here to hit me now that your sister won't stop you or yell at you? Stop you from doing wrong. Or maybe he came here to get a second round. That will never- Just tell me what you want Blaine because at this moment I can't even look at you and not feel worse about myself than I already do. I already have lots of people that bully me Blaine. I rather you not add to my growing list but-"

"Feel worse- I- what are you trying to say? I'm so confused…" Blaine said finally managing to say a full sentence.

"I am trying to say that I regret everything that happened this past couple of days. I regret going to fucking Connecticut. I regret leaving my house because if I didn't go none of this would have happened. You wouldn't have had a hissy fit that sent Rachel off to god knows where! I wouldn't have lost my best friend! Or been stranded in a hospital! I fucking can't stand hospitals! I wouldn't have taken Santana's stupid advice, if that what you would even call it, and lose my virginity to some fucking prick that tried to get inside my pants since the first day he met me when he slammed me against the fucking lockers! I don't know how…"

"Kurt, that's- that is not-"

"Don't you dare tell me that is not true or that you had some other intentions, Blaine. You are full of shit! You cannot just come here and pretend that everything is okay and-"

"You think that I think everything is okay?! Kurt, I lost my fucking sister! My only fucking family alive is now dead! I have no one! No one! Everything I loved is now gone. I have nothing. Nobody wants- And I..."

"Blaine, I don't understand where this conversation is going," Kurt interrupted. "Maybe we should cut all our losses and just not..."

"No… Kurt, no. We can't just... Something happened between-"

"No, Blaine. I regret everything that happened in that damn car," Kurt snapped feeling enraged. Blaine took a deep breath trying to stay calm.

"You didn't regret it then," he spoke through gritted teeth.

"That's because I thought that I was going to die! Blaine," Kurt pinched the bridge of his nose. "Please, just stop pretending that you actually care now because…" Kurt stopped talking hold back tears. He looked up at Blaine through his wet eyelashes. Blaine's face covered in mixed emotions as if he was trying to find the right thing to say.

Kurt felt the aura shifted around them. He stood up and walked slowly back to this front door. He hoped that Blaine would actually find something to say; anything that would call him back to face the curly head boy. But nothing came from Blaine's lips and Kurt closed the door between them.

Blaine gave the driver a pat on the back giving bubbly smile. He stood off to the side of the road watching the car drive off in the distance. He felt high. He felt high on life and free as a bird. The world spun around him faster than he thought possible, almost knocking him off is feet. The moon shined down lighting a trail of shame or delight for Blaine.

Blaine stumbled up the steps to the front door. He pulled his key from his pocket and pushed it to the key hole. And missed. Blaine eyes the hole carefully and slowly moved the key against it and pushed against the hole before laughing at his own personal joke. And missed, again. The key slipped from Blaine's fingers falling to the ground. Blaine let out a loud groan, slowly bending down to remain his steady balance. He picked up the small piece of metal, and this time successfully opened the front door.

To his surprise the light inside was on. Actually most of the lights within the house were lit. Blaine was sure that they were off when he left and he swore that Nathan and Jeffery were still back in Connecticut, but his mind was so far gone from his brain that he was luck if he could even remember his name.

"Blaine?" a voice called out making Blaine's eardrums shake. And he could have sworn that is was Rachel calling him; that Rachel was there in the house. "Blaine? Is that you? Oh please, let that be Blaine." Nope. It wasn't. Blaine squeezed his eyes shut letting his back hit the wall.

Jeffery came running down the hall embracing Blaine tightly in his arms. Blaine scoffed forcing Jeffery to release him. Blaine missed the hurt expression written upon the older man's face, while he turned to walk into the living room stumbling along as he went.

"Blaine, where the hell have you been? It is three in the morn- Are you drunk?" Nathan's face turned cold. "Blaine, what- how stupid are you? How did you even get here?! Don't you dare tell me that you drove here?! Are you… oh my god," Nathan groaned grabbing Blaine by the shoulders and leading him over to the couch. Blaine tried to shake him off but Nathan's hands stayed put.

"I'm fine. I didn't drive. I'm okay. Everything is fantastic!" Blaine shouted.

"No you are not!" Nathan argued back. Jeffery stood back watching, almost trembling at the sight of his child.

"Stop! Stop!" Blaine pushed Nathan's hands away then bringing his own hands to press on his temples. The room spun faster than before and his head was pounding against his skull. Nathan took a step back eyeing the by carefully, cautiously.

"You can't just," Blaine groaned. "Stop pretending that you care about me."

Jeffery looked stunned, "What are…" he searched for the words. Blaine's eyes shot over to him.

"Blaine we aren't… we don't…" Nathan spoke softly. Blaine's eyes shifted over to the other man.

"Just because Rachel, your prized possession, is dead does not mean that you can start pretending that you actually care about me."

Jeffery looked appalled, "Blaine, we have always cared about you."

"Bullshit! Don't you sit there and lie to my fucking face! You have lied to me the whole time that I have lived here with you. Pretending that you care about me, that you loved me like your own child, and that you actually wanted me! I am an orphan. I have been an orphan my whole fucking life. I am an orphan in this damn house!"

"Blaine," Nathan said in a warning tone.

"No…" Blaine interrupted him.

"Blaine, you are drunk! You are saying things that you don't really mean." Nathan stated.

Blaine laughed, "No, I'm saying exactly what I have should have been saying for the past couple of years! I have been bullied and ridiculed my whole life and nobody ever noticed. I have called for help and no body answered. I have been compared against the perfect child ever since I was little and I was never better or compared better than she was. She was always better, always smarter, always- always never me! And I may have only been five, but I know that no one wanted me. I saw then, you guys fawn over Rachel and lover instantly. But!" he paused.

"But as soon as I was mentioned on being a part of the picture they all turned their heads! Except you guys. You guys believed that you could love two children equally! Ha! Well, let me tell you if you guys passed… no. Fail. Because all you focused on was her. The perfect fucking angel that never did anything wrong! Now she did. She died! So now all your attention will be on me because you have lost the prize. Because you prize did something wrong! If you think that I'll be open to being in the care of you because of something like Rachel dying then you have another thing coming. Because that accusation is fucking bull….shit!" Blaine paused, breathing in deep trying to ignore the tears crawling up his throat. He was beginning to feel again and he did not like it. He didn't feel numb anymore.

"I learned a long time ago that no one wants me. My family doesn't want me. Rachel left me. No one wanted to adopt me. You guys never wanted me in the first place. Kurt can't see me enough to want me or even be near me. And I want him so bad. I just want someone to want me so bad! Someone to…to…" Tears were streaming down his face as his fall in to the farther pressing his palms in to his eyes.

The room fell silent with Blaine's small sobs echoed against the wall. The couch shifted as Jeffery sat down next to Blaine wrapping his arms tightly around Blaine pulling him close and this time Blaine didn't pull away. Jeffery felt tears slid down his own cheeks and begged Nathan to join them on the couch with pleading eyes and Nathan agreed.

"Blaine, sweetheart," Jeffery whispered comfortably in his ear and rubbed his back soothingly. "We have always wanted you. When we went that day we had never thought that we would come home with two children. We could have never been happier with you both. We loved you guys so damn much. And we still love you to this damn day. No matter how many times you have hurt us or hurt Rachel we always loved you. So much."

"You should have… We never would have thought that you were being hurt… being bullied. I'm- we are so so sorry we didn't realize you were being hurt. I wish that you would have told us something. We could have- we can help you. We-"

Blaine interrupted Nathan, "it doesn't- doesn't matter. It has been so long." Jeffery and Nathan looked at each other deciding that this was a conversation for sober Blaine to be present at. Nathan cleared his throat.

"What's- what's this about Kurt, Blaine?" Jeffery hesitated to ask, maybe, just maybe, his distant child would come home to his arms. Jeffery knew that this conversation would never occur with sober Blaine and Jeffery knew that this was basically taking advantage of Blaine substance abuse. But he missed his boy. He missed who Blaine was. He missed when Blaine would come and talk to him or Nathan instead of lashing out, instead of breaking the rules. And maybe, just maybe, talking about a boy would soften Blaine, often sober Blaine as well. Although, Blaine's sudden want and need for Kurt was something completely different than what Blaine was doing a few days ago.

"I- he, Blaine shook his head. There was no way that he could talk to them, to his 'parents'. After everything, he has done or has not done, or should have done. "Kurt and I- we- he just does not want to be around me. I don't blame him though. I wouldn't want to be around me neither."

"Nathan let out a soft sigh, "Blaine, you have to think carefully with everything that has happened with Rachel and," he cleared throat. "He probably doesn't want to be around anyone right now and the way that we saw you treat Kurt back in Connecticut. You probably hurt him and you most likely are going to have to gain back his trust. But that doesn't mean that he will want something, anything more with you. It will only work if you want something and Kurt wants something. And even then…" Nathan trailed off when he noticed Blaine shaking his head.

Blaine knew that he already fucked up anything that might have been something. Nathan just confirmed Blaine's fears and lowered his self-confidence.