"I can tell myself this is only a feeling. I can pretend that this just isn't real now. I'm turning and running, and running, but I can't get away from you!" - Can't Get Away From You : Weatherstar

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Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Dear Kurt,

Kurt. Kurt. Kurt.

Kurt. Kurt.

Kurt.

Have I mentioned that I love your name? It just rolls off my tongue perfectly! I could say it all day! I just can't get enough of it. See? KURT KURT KURT KURT KURT!

I know we just met two days ago, but for some odd strange reason, I just can't get you off my mind. You seem to be the only thing my mind can process, the only thing that my lips will let me speak of. We talked for what, 10 minutes? And you have taken complete control of my mind practically.

You know what the best thing about you is! Is that you gave me YOUR number! Not a fake or somebody else's, YOURS! (Okay, that isn't the best thing about you. There's your body, your perfectly structured face, your gorgeous eyes... your lips, your, um, yeah... okay I'm going to stop now. It's still a great factor that the number was real though!) I should have never doubt that it wasn't real. I mean you even put your first and last name in the contact. Then, I may or may not have looked you up on Facebook after I sent that first text to see if it was your real name to! (–mentally shakes my head- I'm so overly dramatic, sometimes.) But there you were, on Facebook.

Ever since I sent you that one text about 2 hours after we met, we've been texting ever since. Even during school. And okay, I'll admit, I'm practically a goodie two-shoes when it comes to school. I would never sit and text in class, but you're an exception. For some reason when I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket I can't resist responding to it. Strange I know. Consider yourself lucky.

I can't wait to see you on Friday! I haven't said that in out text messages because I'm afraid that it will make you scared and then you'll run away and I hope you didn't just say you would go to get me off your case or something. Because, god only knows how bad I want to see you again. If you don't show I'm pretty sure I'll be heart broken. I'd probably get some good songs out of that but I really don't want my heart being shattered into a million pieces. I must sound like some stalker, writing this letter to you, and writing how you corrupted my mind, and writing about how bad I really want to see you again. I mean, I JUST met you.

I guess it because I'm attracted you. You know, the way you dress. The way you try and act like your better than everyone else. How you stand your ground. How I could read you so well even though you were trying your best to cover up that you were on the edge of breaking. I also like the way that you vote for my team. If you know what I mean. ;] And the way you have a wall built so high around you that birds can't even fly over it. I know it will be highly impossible to tear it down, but I'm willing to try. I willing to take all my time left to break that wall down. To destroy it so bad that you'll never be able to build it back up again. So that you can't block me out. So I can be there for you whenever you need. So you can trust me, so you won't feel like you have to hide anymore.

You know, I honestly have no idea why I'm writing a second letter to you. (Probably your mind control, haha, just kidding.) I knew that the first one I wrote was to clear my mind. So I could write all my thoughts down, so I could think straight again. Considering the whole car ride home from the mall, (with Wes and David in the car) you were the only thing that I was talking about. The only thing that I could talk about. I was in such a daze after meeting you. Wes and David were so confused. They thought that I was losing my mind, that there was no way that I could have found someone like you in a Borders book store. And when I tried to explain to them more, they thought I was becoming crazier and that it was just my imagination and my cold kicking in all at once. They told me that maybe it wasn't a good idea that they forced me out of my comforting dorm room, to go to the mall. Didn't I tell them that before they forced me in to my car to drive there? I swear my friends are mental sometimes. So once we got back to the dorm room they completely shut me out and told me to go take a nap so I could sleep off my cold and my imagination. –Rolls eyes- (By the way, they completely believe me now that you are real, because you texted me back.) So instead of gushing to them I gushed to a piece of paper written out to you that you would never read.

Yes, now this sounds mental. Writing letters to this guy I just met, gushing to him about him and how I feel and then never sending him the letter. Yes, completely strange and mental.

But you know for some odd strange reason writing this letter to you, feels like taking a huge weight of my shoulder... I guess you could say that. Writing to you feels right. Like I should do it. Like it's an important need to do now, for example, brushing your teeth, that is a completely necessary and important thing to do, right? I don't know, it sounds strange, right? Oh well. Anyway, I'm going to continue writing these letters to you, for as long as my mind makes me write them. I'll keep them safe and away from any wondering eyes. Who knows, maybe one day, when were married or something, haha, I'll let you read them.

Blaine

Ps. I know I said this before, but I really really really can't wait to see you on Friday! Like you don't even know. I'm pretty sure David and Wes want Friday just as bad so I can stop talking about you. I think it's driving them insane. Oh, they are going to be there too, by the way, so you get to meet them.