"Oh why is everything so confusing? Maybe I'm just out of my mind. Yeah. It's a damn cold night trying to figure out this life." – I'm With You : Avril Lavigne

~*Twenty Four Hours Before*~

"Kurt!" a voice called out. I release my hand from my name tag. Mentally sighing, I turned around to see who called my name. I just want to go home. My shift was over in ten minutes ago. I couldn't leave on time because this lady was being insanely difficult. She wanted a book that just happened not to be in stock and she just didn't seem to understand that. She just stood there and argued with me saying "this is a book store; you're supposed to have books." Blah. Blah. Blah. Whatever, she was just so annoying. I had to call a manager.

"Kurt, Kurt, Kurt," Jessica said. She was this annoying red head high school student that worked here, but she was the only person that I could have a normal conversation with here. The only person I can tolerate working with.

"Hello Jess," I said blankly.

"You're leaving right?" she asked.

I pursed my lips, "yes." I leave every day at five. You would think that she would know this by now.

"Could you please put this book away for me in the teen section? They need me at the registers and it's just that they are at opposite sides of the store and the teen section is near the back and you need to get your things before you leave so…" Jessica begged holding out Twilight by Stephanie Meyer's. I raise an eyebrow. "I swear the girl who had it was going to take it outside and burn it. I had to save the book from her nasty paws."

"Jess, give me the book. You're going to get in trouble if you stay here and talk to me some more," I said taking the book from here hands. She smiled.

"Ahh, thank you. I owe you!" She exclaimed and planted a kiss on my cheek ad began to walk to the front of the store, but she stopped and turned to look back at me. "You kissed a girl and you liked it! I hope Blaine don't mind it!" I let out a laugh at her attempt at singing.

"Leave my boyfriend's Katy Perry obsession out of this! And no I don't like your girlish kisses!" I exclaimed jokingly. She gave me a wink and proceeded to the registers at the front of the store.

I walked to the teen sections and placed the book on the exclusive Twilight shelf and went to get my things. I wrapped my scarf around my neck tying loosely and then pulled on my jacket and buttoned it up. Walking out of the building I dialed Blaine's number.

"Hello beautiful," Blaine's voice purred through the phone. My heart fluttered and a cheesy smile appeared on my face. We've been together eleven months and he still can get my heart to go crazy,

"Hi Blaine," I smiled more. Blaine chuckled, I couldn't almost picture the way he looked. He always chuckled and smiled at me when I get flustered.

"How are you baby? How was work?"

I sighed, "Work was horrid. This lady seriously did now have a clue."

"Aww, I'm sorry love. We'll both be home soon. We can cuddle if that would make you feel better?" Blaine asked sympathetic.

"Mm, sounds fantastic," I hummed in response. "Where are you? I'm walking up the apartment stairs as we speak."

"Me? I am about ten minutes away," Blaine said then swore under his breath. "Make that fifteen, there was a car accident and I have to take a detour."

"Damn," I pouted. "Okay, hurry up and get here. I need my cuddler!"

Blaine chuckled, "Alright. Alight. I'll see you soon, okay? I love you very much."

The grin on my face seemed to grow bigger and bigger, "I love you too baby. Be safe, bye."

"Bye love," Blaine said and the phone went silent.

My back fell against the door to the apartment smiling like an idiot. Sometimes I don't know how lucky or special I am to have Blaine. I must have been a god or gave to charity in my past life. I shook the thought from my head, not wanting to dwell on the past life that I could and couldn't have had. Or anything in the past. All that matter is here and now.

Unlocking the door, I walked into the apartment tossing the keys onto the table. I then hung up my jacket in the side closet and plopped down on the couch. The room was silent, perfect enough to get some homework done.

"Let's have some fun, this beat is sick. I wanna take a ride on your disco stick. Don't think too much just bust that stick. I wanna take a ride on your disco stick. Let's play a love game, play a love game. Do you want love or you want fame? Are you in the game? Doin' the love game!"

I bolted up from the couch scared for my life. I frantically looked around before realizing the sound was coming from my pocket. I looked around the room again; everything stood the same as before. I must have dosed off for a couple minutes. I swiped my phone from my pocket and watching Rachel's name flash across the screen.

"Hello Rachel," I said happily. I haven't talked to her in a while.

"Oh my god Kurt, are you okay?" she screamed into my ear.

"Rachel, what are you going on about?" She took a deep breath and began to talk calmer.

"There was this huge accident and there was this car involved that looks exactly like yours and Blaine's." Car accident?

"Oh yeah, car accident." I commented. "I just talked to Blaine like five minutes ago. He had to take a detour to get around. He should be here like any minute."

"Oh okay. That's good, that neither of you re hurt." She said relieved. "On that note I have to get rehearsal." That's right, she's in a play. But wait…

"Isn't our rehearsal at seven? Its only 5:30," I questioned.

Rachel didn't answer right away, "Kurt, its 6:30."

"What…? No… it can't be. I didn't sleep that long." I exclaimed more to myself than to Rachel.

"Kurt, are you alright?" Rachel asked. The house phone began to ring.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. Hey I have to go. The house phone is ringing." I hung up without a goodbye. I starred at the phone as it rang on the wall. Scared to answer it.

Where is Blaine? Why isn't he home?

My heart pounded in my ears and a thick sweat covered my forehead. The ringing was just a distance sound in my ears.

Do I answer the phone? Something doesn't feel right.

My hand was shaking as I reached for the phone. Picking up the phone off the wall, my palm were sweaty making the phone slips are I brought it to my ear.

"Hello?" my voice was foreign to my ears. Like I was in someone else's body.

"Hi, is Kurt Hummel there?" the lady's voice was proper and sympathetic.

"This is," I spoke my mouth feeling instantly dry.

"Do you happen to know a Mr. Blaine Anderson?" the lady asked and my mind began to race. What does this lady have to do or know about my Blaine? "You are the last person that he had contact with. We already tried calling his parents and they didn't answer." I closed my eyes and told myself to stay calm. You don't know what this phone call is about just yet. Everything could be fine. You just talked to Blaine now to long ago.

"They are out at some dinner or show or something. I'm his boyfriend, you can talk to me." I somehow managed to say.

"Yes, you are a contact but we always try and contact immediate family first," the lady commented and it sounded like she was shuffling papers. "Do you happen to know when Mr. Anderson's parents will be available?"

I shook my head even though she couldn't see me, "I don't know. They went to something at four. Is there a reason you won't tell me anything?"

"We aren't really supposed to share information without patient or family permission…" she started.

"I'm his fucking boyfriend! I fucked him I know every damn inch of his body! I even know the fact that there is a birth mark on his ass!" I exclaimed beginning to feel irritated.

The lady let out a gasp, "Mr. Hummel, there is no need to get upset. Please calm down!"

I took a deep breath, "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. It's been a tough day already. And when you wake up from a nap and your boyfriend hasn't arrived home yet and you get a phone call from you best friend saying that there was a terrible accident and the car looked like mine. You begin to jump to conclusions." The anger reached my eyes creating tears.

"That's okay, Mr. Hummel, just please stay calm. Being angry won't help you," she said.

"Okay, alright," I agreed. "What can you tell me then?"

"Mr. Anderson was in fact in a car accident about an hour ago." Her words sliced my like a knife. Just cause I assumed didn't mean that I actually thought that it'd be true. I felt my back hit the kitchen wall.

"What – I – Is he?" I stammered.

"He was rushed to the hospital about five minutes after the paramedics arrived on sight."

"Oh my god. . ." my voice was shaking. "Is he alright? Is he okay? Oh my god I can't believe this is happening…" I blinked letting the first tear fall down my face.

"I'm sorry Mr. Hummel, I don't have that kind of information in my possession and if I did I wouldn't be able to disclose it with you because…"

"Because I'm not family, even though I live with him, even though he's my boyfriend, even though the car he was driving was in both our name, even though we share a bank account. I know! I know! I get it!" I was on edge.

"I'm sorry Mr. Hummel. I wish I could tell you that everything is okay, but I can't." her voice was sincere. My knees gave way and I slid down to the floor trying to ignore the rest of the tears that threatened to fall from my eyes.

"Could you…" I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Could you maybe tell me what hospital he is in?" I pinched the bridge of my nose. I couldn't cry. No. everything is going to be okay.

"That, I can tell you!" She said a little too excitedly for just telling somebody that their significant… boyfriend, was in a car accident. "He's located at New York Presbyterian hospital. I wish I could help more." The lady sighed.

"No. no that's okay. Thank you. And I'm really sorry for lashing out," my voice was low and blank.

She let out a chuckle, "Wouldn't be the first time, Mr. Hummel. Now go to the hospital, take a cab because you shouldn't drive after hearing news like this. Good luck Mr. Hummel." And she hung up.

The phone fell to the ground beside me, along with my heart shattering and tears now leaving my eyes. Everything was perfect; everything was good, and okay. What did he do? What did Blaine do to deserve to be harmed in this way? Was it because he came from money? Or was it because he is gay? Or is it because he loves me? What did he do? What did I do?

"It's just not fair," I sobbed into the hand knees tucked tight into my chest. "It's just not fair."

I don't remember how I got to the hospital, but here I was walking through the main door. The last thing that I remember doing was sobbing on the kitchen floor, everything until now was a blur. A terrible blur.

At the front desk there was a lady in bright pink nursing scrubs, she was typing furiously at the computer in front of her.

"Uh, excuse me…" I whispered not sure if I should be interrupting her. She stopped what she was doing and looked up with a cheery smile.

"Good evening, how can I help you?" her voice was just as bright and cheery as her outfit.

"There – uh – There was a car accident about an hour and a half ago. And – uh – my boyfriend was involved in it. I was wondering if you knew anything about this or where he may be now." my voice cracked as I spoke. She starred at me with wide caring eyes. I could tell she was looking at my swollen red puffy eyes. "I heard it was pretty bad." I mumbled and looked away; the eye contact was making me uncomfortable.

"Yes, of Couse. Can you give me a name?" she asked.

"Anderson. Uh, Blaine Anderson." His name hurt. She gave a nod and began clicking wildly at the keyboard again. I waited patiently as she worked at finding information.

"You're going to have to go the emergency room. It seems that none of the patients from that accident has been permanently placed in a room. They'll give you more information, okay?" I nodded and began to walk away.

I hate hospitals. And they seem to hate me as well. They smell weird and they are really scary to walk in. everything thing is…different. They remind me to much of my mother's last few years.

Nurses passed with smiles on their faces. I don't know how you could be so happy when you work at a dreadful place like this. I wrapped my arms around myself for comfort; it's not easy walking through a place like this by myself. Too many memories, too much of everything.

I followed the signs until I made it to the sliding doors that had emergency written bright and shiny over it. Why make a place so horrible look so nicely decorated? I walked through the automatic door and made my way to the emergency front desk.

"Hello, how may I help you?" this time it was a man working the desk. He examined my face carefully.

"Is there a Blaine Anderson here?" Can I say that I hate saying his name at the moment? The man nodded. Don't ask me what he looks like, because I was too fascinated with the wall behind his head.

"May I ask your relation to Mr. Anderson?" the man asked. Not this again…

"Boyfriend," I spoke quietly with no emotion. "And you are not going to let me in because I'm not family. Blah. Blah. Blah." The man opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by another voice.

"Kurt!" Praise whatever higher power there may be out there, I am so glad to hear this women's voice. I turned to look at voices source. There, running toward me was Blaine's parents . . . and mine? Victoria engulfed me into a hug, "Oh Kurt." my arms wrapped around her tightly. I was afraid of was to come. She let go from the hug and cupped my face, forcing me to look he in the eyes. Worry lines creased her forehead and her eyes were shining from unshed tears. "It's going to be okay, Kurt. Blaine's a fighter. He always had been." She said and kissed my forehead. She let go and turned to the man at the desk. Carole and my father placed comforting hands on my back.

"Blaine Anderson, Mother, room number, please."

The man gave her an incredulous look, "The doctors have him right now. You are going to have to wait until they are done. I'm sorry, but please, take a seat."

"What do you mean I have to wait? That's my son!"

"Vic!" Jeffery said sternly. "Calm down, come sit. We can see Blaine when we are allowed to see him." Victoria stared at him before she decided to sit down.

I don't know exactly how long we were sitting . . . waiting for. . . but it felt like forever. Every second felt like five minutes and every five minutes felt like two hours. But the doctor did eventually come out to speak.

"Mr. and Mrs. Anderson?" a man with bright white hair and thick rimmed glasses stood at the entry way to the hallway of rooms that where especially for emergencies. Victoria flew from her seat and I was two steps behind her. "Ahh, good evening."

"Good evening? I have been sitting here for the past who knows how long waiting to see if my god damn son was alive! This is not a good evening." Victoria almost screamed in the doctor's face. Jeffery pulled back. The doctor looked frightened.

"I'm sorry about her. She's a little stressed," Jeffery apologized.

"Right. I'm Dr. Harwood and I am taking care of your son," he said. Obviously, I thought. "As you know your son was involved in a car accident earlier tonight. Which, I'm sorry to say was entirely his fault. It seems that he had fallen asleep at the wheel while driving."

"What? But Blaine's an excellent driver…" I said defending him. Victoria sighed and Jeffery looked at her knowingly. Dr. Harwood looked down at the charts.

"Which one of you spends the most time with Blaine?" He asked. Victoria and Jeffery looked at me.

"I do," I said barely a whisper.

"And you are?" he asked curiously.

"Kurt. I'm Blaine's boyfriend," I answered him.

"Ahh, so you are Kurt." He smiled at me. Do I know this guy? "Blaine speaks fondly of you. Actually he told me to give you this." The doctor took a note book out from under his charts and handed it over to me. I was confused. On the cover of the note laid a sticky note. A yellow one. There were words written on it in Blaine's hand writing.

Kurt, My Love,

Read this. All of it. Doesn't matter if now or later.

But read it all of it. All the way through, no stopping.

If you ask why, just please Kurt, just do it.

Don't ask question.

Everything will make since when you read this.

Yours always,

Blaine

My mind raced in trying to understand. What is this?

"Now what can you tell me about Blaine's behave in the past couple months." I looked up at the doctor and thought about what he meant.

"Um, I'm not sure I understand the question," I stated confused.

"Is he tired? Sick? Anything different than usual," Dr. Harwood asked. Oh…

"Well, he's – um – been getting headaches a lot lately. But we – well I thought I was because of stress and all the school work he has been getting. He's hasn't been sleeping to well either, even know he's really tired. If there has been anything else then he hasn't been telling me…" I answered confused. What does this have to do with anything? My father sighed behind me.

Why does it seem all of a sudden that I was missing something?

"What's wrong with Blaine, Dr. Harwood?" Victoria asked.

"Well, Blaine wasn't showing up for his appointments in the past couple months so I didn't know that his kidneys were getting increasing worse. . ." the doctor began saying.

"Wait. Wait. Wait. Appointments? Appointments for what?" My heart quickened. What is going on here! The doctor gave me a skeptical look. I turned to look at Blaine's parents but they were looking at the ground, both of them. "What's going on here?" I demanded.

"Well Kurt, it seems to me that Blaine has been keeping things from you," Dr. Harwood said softly.

"No," I denied him. "Blaine and I tell each other everything." I told myself. Dr. Harwood gave a sad smile.

"He has Chronic Kidney Disease, Kurt." the doctor's words didn't seem to process in my head. "And the function of his kidney's reached below 10 percent. He needs a transplant, now. I don't know how much longer he may have."

"No. No! You are lying to me. Stop. Victoria, please tell me this isn't true!" I begged. She looked up at me tears streaming down her face.

"Kurt, please, listen. . ." she started but I ignored her request to listen. I felt my heart be ripped from my chest and thrown to the ground to be run over by a car.

"How long?" I asked my voice was cold. "How long has he had this disease?" Nobody answered at first.

"A few years," Jeffery commented. "It's uncommon for teens to have kidney disease." I shook my head.

"He lied to me," my lips quivered. "He's been lying to me for the past eleven months." My eyes began to fill with tears again.

"Kurt, please. . ."

"NO!" I yelled. "You lied to me as well! Dad," I said turning to him. But his eyes were casted downward as well. "Dad?" He looked up regret written all over his face. I breathed in sharply. "You knew. . ." It wasn't a question. "You knew also! And you didn't tell me either!" Livid.

They lied to me. All of them. My family. My loved ones. They all lied to me. I shook my head and turned away from them. The notebook gripped in my hands and hot tears rolling down my face. I felt numb and the room was spinning. This was too much. Way to much.

I walked right out the door. Blaine's parents yelled to me to come back, so they could talk to me and help me understand. But I…I can't.