Thursday, July 14, 2012 - 2:36 am

Dear Kurt,

I love you.

As I lay here next to you, I just can't help but think about how much I really do love you. You lay asleep on your stomach hugging pillow for dear life. (I guess it's a good thing that we grabbed the sheet and pillows before we fell asleep.) Your naked torso lays out in the open; the sheet is placed gently on you lower back covering the rest of your body.

You're a master piece, well except for the bruise appearing at the nape of your neck. I apologize for that now… I'm sorry, baby. Please forgive me for marking your glorious body.

The lights from the city shine in through the windows casting over your back. You look angel like. Magnificent .But we need to buy curtains, love. Those lights are really too bright.

I don't know if I can believe what happened about five hours ago was real. Being with you like that was something I never thought that I would experience with anybody.

Maybe I'm just being selfish with again. I don't deserve this. I don't deserve you. But I'm glad that I have you. I don't regret any time that I spend with you. I just regret not telling you all I should be.

I should be sleeping right now, just like you are. With you. Legs tangled, arms wrapped around you, our bare skin brushing against each other, lost in the sheets, securing you, protecting you, loving you. But my mind feels like bickering and talking non-stop. It just doesn't seem to want to shut up.

I did sleep a litter, but I was awoken by a siren driving by. You were curled around me, holding on for dear life. As if I was your lost hope, your last breath of air.

Of course though, I had to pee and when I returned the pillow had taken my space. And then my mind decided to talk and I choose to write in here.

It's been a while since I had written to you. I feel annoyed that I haven't but it is only because I spent all my time with you. And I can't really write when your around now can I?

Today, or last night considering its 2 something in the morning, anyway, we moved into our New York apartment. In the morning we packed up our bags shoved them into our car, said our goodbyes, and drove an insane amount of hours to our new home.

There was a lot of tears that morning, from my mother and Carole. You would think that we were just sent to our death. We told them they could share Finn. Haha. That would be something.

You probably didn't notice but your father pulled me aside. He wanted to have a man to man conversation. Now I won't tell you in great detail what he said to me but, I can tell you I broke down.

Your father's knows what I can't seem to tell you. And that makes me so mad. That he knows before you.

Kurt, I love you. I really do.

Something holds me back every time I try and tell you. I'm getting so mad now. Mad at myself. I have to tell you soon before it gets worse. Your father insisted that I tell you soon, like within this next week. I can't talk about this anymore, not right now.

3:15 am

Who knew driving to New York could take so long. When we got to the apartment we were so tired, we decided to put the bed together, it arrived a few days earlier, but that didn't happen,

We'll we did put the bed together, but our few chaste kisses became more desperate and needy.

Then we ended up here on the bed naked.

I would have put on pair of pants when I went to the bathroom but I don't know which box holds all the clothes. Nor do I feel like searching for them.

Maybe we should just loose the clothes; I wouldn't mind staring at your naked body all day. Oh yeah, I said that. I mean look at that body! Dammmn!

Oh wow, there goes another police car or something with a siren. It's so loud.

I don't know how you sleep through it. I'm so tired. I'm going to see if I can sleep.

Love you so much,
Blaine

Present Day Kurt

Tears were already streaming down my face as my hand reached to unlock the apartment door. Blaine's letter haunted me with the facts of the unknown.

The apartment stood the same as it was when I left this morning. Dishes from last night and breakfast filled the sink. The newspaper that Blaine was reading laid askew on the kitchen table.

I opened the notebook back to the letter of our first night skimming it briefly before throwing it across the room in anger and pain. Standing in place, I listened to the silence of the apartment. Just listening. The sounds of cars came from the bedroom.

Blaine must have left it open again, I thought rolling my eyes. Walking into the bedroom I was attacked by the freezing winter air. Snow covered the floor near the window in small lumps. A few swears crossed my mind as I slammed the window shut, but none of them were worth anything to reach my lips.

Falling back on the bed with a sigh, I shivered.

"Heating bill is going to cost a fortune this month," I whispered to myself looking around the room.

It felt… weird being in here knowing what I know now. Actually, it just feels cold. I just… I just don't know. Laying down on the bed curling into a fetal position holding on to Blaine pillow, the memoires flooded my mind.

Kurt's point of view of letter

"Ugh!" Blaine fell onto the floor next to me. I sat shifting through a box of who knows what. There's too much packing peanuts in here. I removed my hands turning my attention to Blaine.

"That was the last thing from the car. What time is it? I'm so tired," he said pulling me into his lap so that I was facing him. I let out a slight giggle.

"7:30. Who knew driving for so long could be so tiring." I said wrapping my arms around his neck for balance.

"Why don't we go to bed?" Blaine asked. "I could fall asleep any second."

"Yes of course, only one problem."

Blaine raised an eyebrow in curiosity, "What?"

"The bed," I started. "Isn't put together yet." Blaine's face fell.

"But," I continued. "It's from ikea so it should only take like thirty minutes."

Blaine stared at me, "let's do this!" He said then placed a kiss on my lips and ran into the bedroom.

When I walked into the bedroom twenty minutes later Blaine sat on the floor surrounded by pieces of the bed, bolts, and screws and holding the directions upside down. I couldn't help but laugh at the puzzled look that played on Blaine's face. When he realized my presence he looked up, his face turning from confused to a lost puppy.

"I thought you said this was easy," Blaine whined.

"It is easy," I commented stepping over everything and sitting down to him. I pulled the directions from his hands and flipped them over. "If you read the directions right."

Blaine let out a "oh" before blush rising on his face. I placed two fingers under his chin bringing his eyes to mine.

"It's okay. We can do it together. Don't try and push me out of the room again saying you can do this yourself. Let me help you." I placed a chaste kiss on his lips. "We live on our own now. We're partners. Let's do this together, okay?"

Blaine nodded bringing me into another kiss. He nibbled at my lip but I pulled away grabbing the paper to read. Blaine sighed then looked at the directions as well.

"Look. The screw in this picture means you need them to go with this piece of wood." I said pointing to the wood next to me. Blaine moved on to his knees and reached over my lap to grab the wood. He turned his head to look at me. He was so close. I felt his other hand cup the back of my head. He moved his lips to mine in a passionate kiss. When he pulled away I leaned forward wanting more but he ignored my request and picked up a screw to begin making the bed.

We worked diligently only a few mistakes here and there. Like when Blaine grabbed the wrong screw. I don't blame him thought. Sometimes they look exactly the same. The bed was in place, just needed the mattress and the bed sheets and spread.

"Blaine," I said turning to him, bad idea. He was yawning and stretching out his back. His stomach showed slightly. I had force myself to look away.

"Yes, love?" Blaine said still yawning.

"Uh, put the mattress on the bed? I'll get the bedding," I said and scrambled out the bedroom door.

When I came back Blaine was sprawled out on the bed hands behind his head and eyes closed.

"Blaine!" I exclaimed. "What are you doing?"

"Sleeping," he muttered. I rolled my eyes dropping the bedding to the ground.

"Blaine," I whined. "Get up! We have to make the bed!" I lightly slapped his chest. Blaine gripped my arms pulling me on top of him. I let out a scream and he wrapped his arms around my waist securing me close to him.

"Blainnne, come on. We can't sleep on here with no sheets."

"But I'm tired and you're so comfortable." Blaine said pulling me off of him and trying to snuggle in to me.

"No!" I giggled as he began to tickle my sides. "Stop! … I'm going kick you!" I trashed around trying not to kick anything fragile.

"No you won't. You love me too much to hurt me," Blaine said with a toothy smile fingering at my sides.

"I may love you but I will make you sleep on our invisible couch!"

Blaine froze, and wrapped his arms around me tight and a smile still on his face.

"What are you smiling about? I just threatened to put you in the dog house," I commented trying to put my silent treatment on.

"Ours," Blaine whispered I looked at him confused. "You said ours. Ours. Ours. Ours. Everything is yours and mine. I am yours and you are mine."

My heart swelled at his words.

"I love you, Kurt. You're taken my heart hostages. And it will always be yours."

I was at loss for words. What do you say to someone who says that? I love you seems to plain.

I cupped the side of his face and pressed my lips to his. This kiss wasn't like the others we've shared before. There was something new. A feeling hard to describe. Kind of like when you have an itch you can't scratch but when you do it feels amazing.

Blaine pulled me on top of him again in a swift movement, lips still attached to mine. His hand on my back ran down to the hem of my shirt. I pulled away looking at him hesitantly. Blaine starred at me, I read his expression well. I gave a quick nod and off came my shirt and my lips glued back to his.

Everything after that was … magical.