"I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart. But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start. You put your arms around me and I believe that it's easier for you to let me go. You put your arms around me and I'm home." – Arms : Christina Perri

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Dear Kurt,

I really want to tell you where I actually was today. There wasn't really a party. Actually it didn't have to deal with the warblers at all. I actually went to an appointment. Yeah, on a Saturday, I know. It's a weird day to have an appointment. It was supposed to end late, way later than it did. That's why I wasn't going to be able to come to your graduation.

I felt really bad, that you came to mine but I couldn't go to yours. I know you told me it was alright, that it was okay that I went to the 'warbler party'. Honestly, if there was a warbler party today I would have skipped it and came to see you graduate. Because you're what matters to me, not some stupid warbler party.

Anyway, the person who had an appointment before me cancelled their appointment or they died. The doctors don't tell us that, but you're not really supposed to cancel checkups.

Besides that, I went in early; there was still a chance that I wasn't going to make it to your special night. You should have seen how fast I drove here. Could have gotten a ticket, or pulled over. But that wouldn't have mattered to me, because the look on your face when you saw me made my world stop around me. I arrived a few people before Finn, so I was lucky that you even saw me.

I knew you were happy to see me, because the instant you saw my face your body language relaxed. God, I love the affect that I have on you. Just thinking about it makes me want to kiss you senseless. Have I mention that I love you?

Cause I really do. Like a lot. I could say it all day. I love you.

Oh, and I meant what I said. What I said when with your family and when Rachel asked those questioned at dinner.

I will never leave you. You are my everything. Seriously, absolutely everything. I would follow you to the edge of the world, and so much farther. If something happens to me or you don't want to be with me anymore; then that will be the only way I will leave you.

Although, you'll probably leave me when you find out. That's why I haven't told you. You know? I don't want to lose you and this, this could make you leave.

Actually I'm pretty positive it will. Who would want to be with someone like me? I don't think I'd even want to. The stress and everything. I'm surprised I'm not bald or aged looking yet.

Selfish, I know. It's completely selfish to keep this from you. Besides, I'm doing great. I won't have to worry about you finding out anytime soon, right?

Love Blaine

PS my mother couldn't handle my complaining about not going today. It was pretty funny the way she responded.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

You can do this. Just because there are about 2,000 people including the whole senior class doesn't mean you're going to screw up royally. Wait, 2,000 people? Friends. Family. All of the seniors and they are all watching each of us walk across the stage to graduate. To get a little piece of paper allowing us, me, to leave this pathetic place called high school, legally and the correct way?

Oh wow… that's a lot of people. Staring at me. Walking . . . across a stage.

My mouth was dry and I couldn't seem to fix it. I tried to shake the feeling of nervousness from my body.

Come on, this is nothing compared to being on stage for sectionals or regionals. There is double the amount of people for those things and I can do that no problem.

"Quinn Fabray," Mrs. Standford, an algebra and trig teacher at McKinley, called through the microphone. I glanced up at Quinn, who was about twenty people in front of me. A smile grew on her face hearing her mother screaming from the crowd in joy. She walked over to Mr. Figgins and Ms. Pillsberry who stood in the center of the stage. Ms. Pillsberry gave her a smile, before handing over the diploma and the hand shake.

Honestly, I'm surprised Ms. Pillsberry can ever do this job. But then again she has come so far in her progress of beating her problem of OCD or whatever she had. We're all so proud of her and by we; I mean all of New Directions.

The crowd giggled as Quinn threw her arms around Ms. Pillsberry. Doesn't surprise me though, we all have actually, because we all got so close to her over the last four years. I watched Quinn let go of her and gave a hand shake to Mr. Figgins before officially leaving the stage one last time.

One last time? The thought sent chills down my spine. This will be my last time walking across this stage. Feeling tears burn behind my eyes, I began to panic. Don't cry. Oh my god, don't cry. Focus on walking across the stage. Just walking, no tripping. No hurting or pain, high school is over as soon as I walk across this poorly decorated stage. Everyone so far has owned the stage walking across themselves. Who says I can't?

I can do it to. Wait, by myself? Shit, I'm going to fuck up. This is nothing like sectionals or regionals or performing in front of the school because I'm by myself. None of my friends.

"Finn Hudson."

Oh my fucking god, I can't do this. There are like five people in between me and Finn. I can't do this. My dad's voice was loud when Finn's name was called but totally not as loud as Carole's. She must be so proud.

Finn caught my eye. He gave me and encouraging smile and mouth, "You can do this." I gave him a slight nod but I was lying to him. There's no way I could.

Finn glanced out at the crowd and then found my look again. His smile was big and he nodded his head out to the crowd before walking out on stage. I didn't know what he was trying to do or point out to me. I mean what's out in the crowd that's going to concern me.

I shifted my body a bit to stare out into the crowd. The light from the stage made it kind of hard to see. All the people made me more nervous. I found my father in the huge crows. He and Carole watched Finn with joy covering their faces. But I wasn't expecting to see the boy standing next to him staring back at me.

Blaine.

My breathing stopped and my heart hammered in my chest. That liar. He said her couldn't make it. There was a warbler get together today for the seniors goodbyes. We both agreed hat saying goodbye to his friends was more important than to come to my graduation. I mean we're going to be living together when we move. He won't see his friends until he goes back to visit. We agreed on that together and here he is. Sitting in the crowd.

Even though it was hard to see out in the crowd, I could still see Blaine's golden eyes lit up with love and happiness. I stared at him in shock. I watched his mouth form the words 'I love you' and blew me a kiss. I smiled and mouthed 'I love you' back.

"Kurt Hummel," Mrs. Stanford voice echoed through my mind. Shit, that my name. I took a deep breath before making my way to Mrs. Pillsbury.

My father yelled my name along with various members of the glee club. I found Rachel in the front row, smiling and giving me a thumbs up.

"I love you, Kurt." it was quiet but I still heard it. I knew it was Blaine. I looked down at my feet blushing furiously. Because Blaine totally just said he loved me in front of this whole homophobic school.

I stood in front of Ms. Pillsberry, she handed me the diploma then she shook my hand. I moved to Mr. Figgins and shook his hand as well. My heart was beating fast as I finished my way off the stage. Mr. Schue joined me at stage side.

"Congratulations," he said and directed me back to the student who graduated and walked across the stage already.

The rest of the ceremony was a blur. Nobody threw their caps cause there people are stupid. It wasn't like all the graduation you see in the movies. But besides I wouldn't want to get mine dirty.

Everyone was dismissed from the auditorium. I searched the crowed area of the hallway for my parents and Blaine. I needed to know that Blaine was actually there and that I wasn't imagining him. Families surrounded me, congratulating and celebrating and I can't even find my family. Searching a bit more, I caught sight of a perfectly gelled head of curls talking to my father, Carole, and Finn.

"Blaine," I yelled and began running through the crows. He turned around looking confused but his face brightened at seeing me. "Blaine," I said again throwing me arms around his neck tightly and his wrapped around my waist. He lifted me off the ground spinning me around. I giggled at how cheesy he was.

When my feet were placed down on to the ground, I grabbed his face pulling his lips to mine in a sloppy kiss, not caring who was going to see. It wouldn't matter because I'm done with this school now. I pulled away just as Blaine's tongue run across my upper lip.

I stared at his face surprised. He looked disappointed, his grip on my waist tightened trying to bring me back into a kiss.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked confused.

"Do you not want me here?" Blaine asked a frown forming on his face. "I can leave if you want." His arms around my waist loosened. I quickly tightened my arms around his neck making our foreheads touch. My eye locked with his.

"No," I whispered. "Don't leave me."

"Never," Blaine said and brought his lips to mine kissing my deeply passionately.

"Alright. Alright, break it up," my father said sternly then let out a few laughs. I pulled away blush rising on my cheeks. I looked up at Blaine questionly for he still hadn't told me why he was here.

"Well you see once Wes and David found out that your graduation was today they pushed the party up an hour and let me leave early," Blaine explained.

"What? Why would they do that?" Really, there not going to see much of each other. Wes is going to Harvard which is close, I guess. And David . . . you know, I don't know where he's going.

"Their excuse was and I quote that they like you and that you are good for me. A reason to go on. They also said I was complaining that I wasn't going to see you today. Which I can inform you that, that is not exactly true," Blaine said.

"Huh, I see," I placed a kiss on his cheek. "I'm glad you came." I turned stepping out of his grip and walked over to my dad. He engulfed me in a hug.

"You did it kid. You finished high school and beat all the bullies here. In a few weeks you're going to get out of here," my dad spoke in my ear. I'm leaving. I'm getting out of here. With Blaine. Tears burned in my eyes again, but I refused to cry. Not now at least.

I pulled away and hugged Carole and then Finn before I found my way back into Blaine's arms. He kept an arm around my waist as we socialized with some teacher and friends. We got some looks but no one actually said anything about us or to us and that surprised me. It really did.

"Attention former Glee club members," Mr. Schue stood near most of us. "Dinner at breadsticks. On me." a few members howled in excitement. I turned to my dad, he gave a slight nod.

"Blaine, come with me," I asked.

"Are you sure? I mean they are your friends…" Blaine said questioningly.

"Of course, they love you. Trust." Blaine nodded a smile on his face.

The car ride was silent. Blaine held my hand in the center of the car. I stared at him while we drove thinking about the future with him and everything else. Occasionally, he'd glace over catching me watching him and when he did he brought our folded hands to his mouth placing a kiss on my knuckles. Blush would rise on my face when he did this and I'd have to look away.

When we reached Breadsticks all of the graduated glee club members were there.

"We made it guys! High School is over!" Puck exclaimed.

"Hell yeah!" Finn said giving him a high five.

We sat and talked about all the wonderful and terrible times that we had together. Blaine seemed to enjoy himself as well, hearing all the ridiculous stories that I haven't gotten to tell him yet. Then the conversation switched a bit, to a different subject.

"So Blaine, we all know Kurt and I are going to NYADA, what are you planning to do?" Rachel asked. Blaine froze for a second before clearing his throat.

"Well, I plan on going with Kurt," Blaine said.

"What? You're going to follow him. What about your own future? Kurt, do you agree with this?" Rachel was shocked at his response. I opened my mouth but Blaine's chuckled made my stop.

"No. No. I got into Columbia." Blaine said shaking his head a bit.

"Oh wow," Rachel said shocked. "Columbia, that's huge and expensive."

Blaine shrugged, "Sure I guess. Doesn't matter if you got with a scholarship, right?" Rachel nodded.

"And what about Kurt?" Finn asked. I rolled my eyes. Clearly, he just had to be the 'big brother'. I felt Blaine shift. I glanced at him to see that he was already looking at me and gave him a confused look.

"What about Kurt?" Blaine asked clarifying the question. "Kurt's is my everything. I'd follow him to the edge of the world. I will never leave him if it's in my control. I love him and I plan on spending the rest of, whatever I have left, of my life with him. I'll be there," he said this with his eyes never leaving mine.

Oh god, can I just drop dead here, now? The smile on my face was big and bright. I could feel it.

"I love you," I whispered. Blaine smiled and leaned down to capture my lips in a kiss. My heart quickened, he just can't say things like that. I pulled away quickly watching his eye flutter open and looking at me lovingly.

"Aww, you guys are disgustingly sweet," Mercedes commented.

"Yes, please stop. My eyes are burning out of their sockets," Santana rolled her 'burning eyes' at me. I snuggled into Blaine's side.

"Alright. I have something to say," Mr. Schue stood up. The table quieted down and I looked over at my former teacher. "I want to thank you guys. Each and every one of you. You guys changed my life for the better. You helped me find out my dream for teaching glee. You helped me through a divorce and a new marriage. And so much more," I watched him smile down at Ms. Pillsberry. "Even though we only started with about six of us, our family grew. And we are a family; we've been through so much together. Wins. Loses. Fights. Competitions. Between each other and other clubs. And now you guys are graduated. You're moving on,"

I began to feel tears in my eyes, thinking about the future and how'll probably never see any of them again. Besides Rachel and Finn.

"I don't want you to forget what this family has together." His voice began to crack. I looked around at the others at the table. They all had tears in their eyes if not already rolling down their face.

This is it. High Schools over. Our new lives start. New?

"So when you're off at school, getting famous or starting another, your own family. Please remember to keep in touch with everyone." Family?

I looked around the table again. These people are my family. I love them all.

I felt Blaine's lips on my temple, pulling me close. I looked up at him.

Future? Family?

Blaine is my future. He's going to be my new family. Or so I hope he'll be my family, my support, my husband?