The churning in Kurt's stomach was almost unbearable and was alleviated only a slightly by his steady pacing around the room. He fought the urge to go back to the window and watch Blaine walk in. Instead he checked - again - to make sure the keyboard was set up and turned on. It had taken a lot of convincing for the producers to allow it but eventually they gave in.

Minutes ticked by slow as molasses as Kurt waited. Surely Blaine should have made it up to the room by now. All four of the finalists were staying in this suite, but this time they would each have their own room. The place was significantly nicer than where they had stayed during the normal competition

The knob began to turn and the air left Kurt's lungs. It was time.

&&&&&

Blaine had walked as slowly as possible to the room, simultaneously dreading and looking forward to what was coming. It was entirely possible Kurt wasn't there yet, or that Harry and Alice were there too, and Blaine didn't know which he would prefer.

He finally approached the door and took a deep breath before turning the knob and stepping inside. He walked in backwards, under the guise of making sure his suitcase made it through the threshold, but really he just wanted another second to compose himself. When he did turn he saw Kurt standing in the middle of the room alone, his hands clasped in front of him. He looked unusually vulnerable.

"Blaine, hi," he said, his tongue peeking out to wet his lips. "I-I want to play you something?"

Kurt was waiting for Blaine's approval, and although Blaine had no idea what he was talking about, he nodded slightly. Kurt nodded back and a nervous smile crossed his lips before he went to sit behind a keyboard Blaine had not previously noticed.

After taking a quick swig of water, Kurt took a couple deep breaths and simply said, "This is for you."

The intro was quite long and as Blaine watched him he guessed it was on purpose. The longer Kurt played the more comfortable he seemed, and by the time he started singing the tension in his shoulder had almost completely disappeared. It was a familiar tune but it wasn't until the chorus that Blaine was sure he'd heard it before.

And I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity

And I've been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key

And I've been dying to get out and that might be the death of me

And even though there's no way in knowing

Where to go I promise I'm going because

I gotta get outta here

I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake

I gotta get outta here

And I'm begging You, I'm begging You, I'm begging You

To be my escape

Kurt's voice was high and clear and so pretty. The song was stripped down considerably from the original and with only the keyboard for backup Kurt's voice stood out.

Kurt kept his head down, seemingly focused on the sheet music, but Blaine could tell from the way his eyes weren't moving that he didn't need to. He had the song memorized. But then Kurt did lift his head and glanced at Blaine before singing the next few lines.

And this life sentence that I'm serving

I admit that I'm every bit deserving

But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair

Blaine stood, still just a few steps out of the doorway, and felt his whole world turn upside down. He's spent the majority of these last three months convincing himself Kurt didn't care about him and then he comes back to find this. He didn't know what any of this meant but he swore there were tears in Kurt's eyes and it made him want to wrap the man in his arms and kiss them away.

I've gotta get outta here

I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake

I've gotta get outta here

And I'm begging You, I'm begging You, I'm begging You

To be my escape

When Kurt finished the last chorus and the music began to slow down Blaine thought it was over and started to move towards him but suddenly Kurt was singing again and looking directly at him as he did. If there were any tears earlier they were now gone and sad, but hopeful eyes had replaced them.

I fought You for so long

I should have let You in

Oh how we regret those things we do

And all I was trying to do

Was save my own skin

But so were You

So were You

Goosebumps erupted across Blaine's body and he fought a chill. "Wow," was all he could manage.

"I made a mistake before," Kurt said, his voice quavering, as he stood from the keyboard and took a step in his direction. He stopped though, and left plenty of room between them. "A huge mistake. I- you were right. It wasn't just about the competition, there were other things, past experiences, that made me fear commitment. But I'm ready now, I want to be with you."

"But this is exactly what you wanted," Blaine said in a small voice, "to wait three months."

Kurt paled slightly and opened and closed his mouth a few times. "I-wait- no I-" he stuttered, sounding completely flustered. "This had nothing to do with that I swear! We- we can tell people! We can talk about it in an interview or tell the judges or whatever you want. I don't care Blaine. I just don't want to lose you."

I don't want to lose you either. But Blaine couldn't say it. Not yet. Wes's warning was still too fresh and Blaine needed to think this through. His heart often steered him in the wrong direction and only later, when his brain caught up, would he realize his mistake. He couldn't afford to get hurt like that again.

"I need some time," he finally said, "to think things through."

Plastering a smile on his face, Kurt said, "Right, yes, of course." Neither of them moved for a moment and then Kurt said, "Well I'll just go back to my room then..."

But before he could move Blaine said, "You have a beautiful voice. Really, it's stunning."

"Thanks," Kurt responded, a light blush lighting his cheeks. Then he retreated to his room where Blaine could hear him flop down on his bed and groan into the pillow.

&&&&&

Blaine's reaction made perfect sense. It was a lot to throw on a guy he hadn't seen or talked to in three months. A guy who he had hurt. So Kurt was staying cautiously optimistic because he couldn't give in to despair right now. The competition had started again and Kurt needed to stay in the right mindset.

Tomorrow was the runway show, held on the familiar Parson's stage, that would determine which three people would take part in Mercedes Benz fashion week. They were instructed to make one new piece to go with their collection and chose two others and those three pieces are what the judges would see. Harry was off at Mood with Tim but Kurt, Blaine, and Alice had opted to use the fabric they brought from home to make this final garment.

It was customary to have to make another outfit to go with the collection so Kurt had already designed what to make. The blank tank top would be a nice offset to the otherwise heavy collection. It was supposed to be representative of winter in New York after all.

Blaine had mentioned last night that his collection was also inspired by New York and Kurt wondered in what way. He would have asked but the air had been so thick with tension he couldn't get the words out. The designers had gotten together for the traditional toast to celebrate being finalists, but unlike what Kurt guessed happened most years, as soon as the cameras left so did the designers. It was still a bit awkward between him and Blaine, and it wasn't a secret that everyone hated Harry and vice versa, and even Alice wasn't in the mood to chat. After a few conversation starters died they all gave up and retreated back to their rooms.

If nothing else, Kurt hoped he and Blaine could stay friends. It would be painful because Kurt knew what Blaine's lips tasted like and what he body felt like against his but it wouldn't be as painful as losing him forever. Blaine had been more than his lover, he'd been his friend.

Earlier, Alice had come over and looked and his collection, and he had done the same. Her pieces were strong but not, he thought, as strong as his. Blaine and Alice did the same thing, looking at each other's clothes, exchanging advice, but he and Blaine hadn't. Kurt wanted to go over there but he wasn't sure if he was welcome. He tried catching Blaine's eye and it only took a few minutes before he was successful and, reading him easily, Blaine waved him over.

Kurt swallowed the need to explain his hesitation and instead just walked over to the rack where Blaine collection hung and sifted through the pieces. "I like these a lot," Kurt said through a smile. "Architectural inspiration. Very cool."

"Thank you," Blaine said brightly.

They stood together at Blaine's work station and already it felt less weird than it had the night before. "So what are you working on today?"

"I'm trying out a new style of skirt," Blaine responded. "I know a lot of my pieces look kind of the same so I'm trying to mix it up."

Kurt hummed and nodded. "Well don't change too much, I really do think it's great. Want to come see mine?"

Blaine did so they walked across the room to Kurt's area.

"Seasonal inspiration. Very cool," Blaine said after a few minutes.

He was the same old Blaine- goofy but sincere.

"Seriously though, it's fantastic Kurt. It's so different, I've never seen anything like it before."

"Let's just hope it's a good different. But thank you," Kurt added. He knew his inability to take a compliment could get annoying, and that's the last thing he wanted to be right now.

"So how was your break?" Blaine asked, surprising Kurt. It was small talk but it was a start.

"It was good. I worked a lot, on this and at my internship, but it was good. What about you?"

"Good as well. I got a job, at um, the Bean actually, so I was there a lot as well as working on my collection. It's a temporary job, at least I hope," he said with a laugh, "but you know, I'm still not exactly sure where I'm headed yet so..."

Kurt ignored the reference to the coffee shop, unsure how to respond, and instead said seriously, "There's nothing wrong with that. Better to take your time and decide rather than rush into something you'll regret ten years down the line."

Blaine smiled and met Kurt's eyes in a way that had his stomach swooping. It was if they were in those early flirting stages all over again. "Very true."

After that they had to get back to work but any remaining tension was gone. They exchanged comments throughout the day as they worked and ate dinner together, using the time to further discuss what they had been doing for the last few months. It was as if they had fallen right back into things.

But of course it was different, because when they went to bed that night there was no lingering goodbye complete with a kiss. Still, this meant a friendship was possible, and that gave Kurt hope.

&&&&&

Blaine's emotions were at war with each other. No, scratch that, his emotions were at war with his head. While he was still swooning over Kurt's performance, his mind insisted it was just that: a performance. His brain screamed that Kurt was just playing him while his heart told him the hurt on Kurt's face after he told him he needed some time couldn't have been fabricated. He understood well what it was like to have ghosts from his past tinging his behaviors, but perhaps that was just another excuse. Blaine knew what he wanted but that wasn't enough anymore.

Taking his own advice, Blaine decided only time would tell. Once the dust cleared and the initial reactionary emotions were removed he would know what to do. Or at least he hoped.

That didn't mean, however, that he couldn't be friendly with Kurt. He realized that might be in conflict with getting some headspace to figure things out, but he couldn't stay away. Things with Kurt were just too easy. The chemistry between them - platonically, that was - hadn't faded in the least. (And if he was being honest it hadn't sexually either- curse him for looking so good in those obscenely tight grey jeans).

Tuning back in just in time, Blaine was able to give a somewhat coherent response to Kurt's question on the styling of his collection. He didn't feel too bad about it because really he was just a prop to Kurt's inner dialogue. Kurt had a habit, one Blaine used to tease him about, of, when making decisions, having a "conversation" with Blaine where really he just talked out the options and made the decision on his own. Sure enough, Kurt thanked Blaine but went with the other kind of jewelry.

Blaine looked over his own models again, feeling a bit nervous for being done ten minutes early. The other designers seemed the be milling around too, though, and being uncomfortable with the lack of last second rushing. It was a strained couple minutes before Tim took them down to the runway.

The two looks Blaine had chosen to show along with the one he had just created were his gown, a mostly white, floor-length dress that had a slit right in the middle of the skirt and a long sleeved grey dressed that was framed in yellow. Those garments along with the black and grey mini dress he had made over the past two days had similar necklines and patterns, enough to make them seem like part of a collection, but were also different enough not to appear repetitive. It was a little deceiving because two of the dresses he left behind were extremely similar to each other, while also being a lot like the dresses he was showing, but the judges didn't need to know that.

As he watched his pieces come down the runway he was overtly pleased with the outcome and only hoped the judges felt the same. Harry's pieces were different from the style he'd had during the competition- they were very colorful and (in Blaine's opinion) gaudy with all the clashing colors and patterns. But the switch didn't surprise Blaine; Harry and Kurt's style had been somewhat similar and the judges always seemed to favor Kurt. Perhaps Harry felt he couldn't be Kurt at his own game, so he decided to play a different one.

Kurt's clothing, as always, was stunning. The three outfits he showed were the black tanktop and jeans he had whipped since arriving, one of his black fur coats also matched with black jeans, and his grand finale black floor-length gown. It was chic, it was fierce, and it was Kurt. There was no way the judges wouldn't love it.

Alice took the opposite approach that Kurt did by focusing on the more traditionally feminine, the "girly", side of things. Her dresses were cut interestingly, with asymmetry being a theme, but they flowed and sparkled almost like princess costumes. There was a definite beauty to the way the pieces moved and caught the light, and Blaine liked it very much. Currently there was a lot of backlash against the rejection of traditionally feminine clothing simply because they were traditionally feminine, and Blaine saw this being an ode to that.

When the lights came up and the designers were standing in front of the judges Blaine felt the expected nervousness bubble up in his stomach. The familiarity was almost a comfort. The judges started with Kurt and slowly made their way down the line.

They questioned Kurt on whether his line was all black and he assured them that no, he had a few tan and grey pieces too. The monotone colors were a bit of a surprise coming from Kurt, who, although hadn't been overly colorful, didn't usually use black either. There seemed to be one person each season who completely shunned color, and that person this year had been Sam not Kurt. As a whole the judges had been very impressed and Blaine could see the relief mixed with pride on Kurt's face.

The judges were less impressed with Alice. They felt that while aspects of her pieces were nice, as a whole they were trying too hard to stand out. "Your clothing should be powerful enough to deliver without having to rely on crazy asymmetrical cuts and over accessorization." Also, it was deemed too predictable. So maybe it wasn't a good things that femininity was a pattern in fashion lately. Alice looked close to tears by the end and Blaine's heart ached for her. He could only hope Harry received even worse.

On that front, Blaine was disappointed. For some insane reason, the judges loved Harry's collection. They felt it was new and fresh and apparently just on the right side of gaudy. To make matters worse, they all had to deal with Harry's beaming face and smug attitude as he soaked up the praise. Blaine could see Kurt gritting his teeth behind his smile and he was doing the same.

When Blaine's turn came it seemed almost anticlimactic. He explained his inspiration and before the nerves could even fully set in they were being alleviated by the judges declarations of approval. They especially liked the long-sleeved dress and Blaine felt very lucky considering he almost didn't show that piece.

"There is one thing we're a little concerned about though," Michael said as he looked down at his notes, "all of your necklines are the same, is that a common theme? And what about dress length? Does that vary throughout your collection?"

So they had been talking to Tim. There was no other way they could have known the similarities between his other pieces if they hadn't. Blaine had always guessed that when he watched the show but now he knew it to be true. Part of him was a bit embarrassed, he hoped the judges didn't think he was trying to pull one over on them, but it was probably good this came out now so he could get some advice.

"The necklines are steady across the collection, but the lengths vary," a little, he added mentally. "I think the shape of the pieces are part of what makes the collection cohesive."

"That's true," Nina conceded, "but it can also make things boring. Perhaps you could switch things up, just on a piece or two."

It was a suggestion that Blaine didn't quite know what to do with. Sometimes the judges liked to see that designers stuck to their guns and didn't compromise their style, but other times they got angry if their advice wasn't taken.

Blaine simply nodded and said, "Okay," and then the judgement was over.

Back in the waiting room Kurt and Blaine sat in comfortable silence. There really wasn't anything to say; they could only wait. The clock ticked loudly and Blaine tried not to stare at it as that only made time pass more slowly. He itched to reach out and grab Kurt's hand but at the last second he refrained. As if hearing the inner struggle, Kurt looked over and him and offered a small smile.

It was exactly thirty-eight minutes before Tim came back. There was no winner for the challenge, only a loser. Or, Blaine supposed, an optimist would say there were three winners. Heidi had the stage and all four designers had their eyes trained on where she sat.

"Kurt," she said, leaving a long pause, "Congratulations, you are a finalist! You may leave the runway." Kurt shook slightly with happiness and he wiped at a few tears as he thanked the judges. As he left, he walked behind the lighted screen at the end of the runway and did a cartwheel which everyone could see because of his shadow. Blaine laughed out loud and even Alice, who was looking paler by the moment, chuckled.

It was no surprise that Harry was the next finalist announced which left Blaine and Alice. Although Blaine knew the likely outcome, as did Alice who was gripping his hand tight, his heart was still pounding out of his chest. "Blaine..." Heidi paused, the silence being almost comically long this time, "you will be the final designer competing at Mercedes Benz fashion week. Congratulations!"

It was a whirlwind, thanking the judges, hugging a crying Alice, and speed walking back to the waiting room. Kurt engulfed him in a hug as soon as he entered the room but gasped after a second and began to pull away. Blaine didn't loosen him arms though, not until Kurt had relaxed back into them and completed the hug. When he did pull away both their eyes were wet with tears. This wasn't about what happened between them, this was about them achieving the impossible, this was about getting to chance to make their dreams come true.