PART SIX

My heart beats fast

My blood runs slow

Like the aftermath of a tornado

And the feelings pass, but I still shake though

~~~

Kurt didn't know what had come over him. At first, seeing Blaine at his doorstep was the best thing he could imagine - then as he thought about it, he remembered how upset he was, how Blaine hadn't spoken to him in months, how he had flown across the country without telling him - so the feelings of excitement and relief and happiness hadn't lasted long.

The last few weeks had wreaked havoc on Kurt's sanity. In the beginning, in the days following the wedding, Blaine was all he thought of, all he dreamt of, all he wanted. He didn't care what had to happen, who had to be hurt in the process, he just wanted Blaine's lips on his again, just wanted to be with Blaine. But, as the days had stretched into weeks and Kurt still had yet to hear from Blaine, he had started to worry. Was he okay? Was in some sort of catatonic state? Some funk or depression or hibernation? A few conversations with Quinn squashed his fears, ensuring that Blaine was fine, maybe a bit stressed, but fine. So, he was alive and communicating with some people, apparently; just not Kurt. Fantastic. Perfect. Just splendid. After that, understandably, the anger started. Kurt refused to act like some pathetic, needy guy; refused to call Blaine or stop by to visit. No, Blaine would reach out when he chose to and if he had to face one pissed off Kurt Hummel, so be it. Kurt hadn't thought he'd have to wait so long, though. Being strong and stoic and making a statement only really worked if, eventually, there was resolution or confrontation or an actual opportunity to voice said strength and irritation. When Kurt heard that Blaine had hopped on a plane across the country - from Finn of all freaking people - he couldn't believe it. He resisted the urge to scream into a pillow or throw something at a wall; he couldn't believe how frustrating Blaine was being, how stupid. Kurt could barely remember to miss him, to wish for his voice or his smile or his lips, so strong was his anger and confusion; so powerful his frustration.

And then, after almost two months, Blaine had the nerve to show up at Kurt's doorstep, eyes lit up and cheeks pink from the fresh air, clad in his best bow-tie and adorable smile and rumpled hair; practically irresistible. The universe really had a funny way of making things up to Kurt. Here, it seemed to say. Here's the boy you've wanted forever, finally returning to you; you only had to deal with two months of misery and worrying and stress to earn it. Sounds fair, right? Well, Kurt was tired of the funny ways things seemed to work out; so instead of listening and letting Blaine in he did the exact opposite of what he was used to doing, he threw Blaine and the universe a curve ball and shut the door in Blaine's face.

He went to the kitchen to get a drink of water, to calm himself down, when Blaine knocked on the door again. Kurt rolled his eyes, muttering something about being insufferable, and went to the door, only planning to open it and shut it in Blaine's face again. But, as soon as Blaine saw Kurt's scowl, he started talking.

"I'm sorry it's been a while." Kurt had laughed a harsh laugh and scoffed, but Blaine marched on. "Things got really crazy and I didn't know how to be around you and act normally..." Blaine trailed off and looked sheepish as he said, "Can I just come in?" Unable to resist Blaine, as usual, Kurt grunted and turned around without a word. Blaine followed him eagerly and shut the door behind him, taking his coat off and hanging it in the closet. He stepped into the living room to face Kurt who stood, hands on his hips, waiting.

When Blaine stood staring at him, Kurt rolled his eyes and said, "Well? You wanted to come in..."

"Right!" Blaine said, wringing his hands together. "Right, well, I just wanted to talk. Obviously you're upset about something so-"

"Upset about something?!" Kurt cut in incredulously. He laughed and shot Blaine a disbelieving look, "About something?" Blaine looked down and Kurt went on, "I'm upset because you yelled at me and kissed me and then ignored me for two months. That's why I'm upset."

Blaine looked up and took a step closer to Kurt, who instinctively took a step back. "I'm really sorry, Kurt. I had a lot on my mind."

"Gee, I wonder what that must have been like!" Kurt exclaimed sarcastically, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "I had so many questions, Blaine. So many things I wanted to ask you, to tell you, and you vanished. Who does that?"

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, I got that much." Kurt said harshly, frowning at Blaine. "Didn't you have things you wanted to ask me? Didn't you want to talk about it?" Kurt's voice grew gentler, more quiet as he asked, "Didn't it mean anything to you?"

Blaine's face fell and he stepped toward Kurt again, but this time Kurt didn't move away. "Of course it did. I wanted to talk to you, I just didn't know what to say. So, I played the coward and I may or may not have avoided you." Kurt met Blaine's eyes and, seeing the genuine regret and sadness there, smiled hesitantly. "I had a lot on my mind at the wedding, and after. It all got to be too much. So I took some time to think, to clear my head." Blaine smiled at Kurt and said, eyes hopeful, "And I'm here now."

"You're here." Kurt and Blaine stood, neither quite sure what to say when the front door opened and Rachel and Finn walked into the apartment, laughing loudly.

Kurt stepped back from Blaine and turned to greet the couple, and Blaine couldn't help but wonder what he would have said, what Kurt would have said, if they hadn't been interrupted.

Rachel squealed when she noticed Blaine and ran to hug him hello, acting as though he had been gone for years. Blaine and Kurt got roped into eating dinner with Rachel and Finn and, while it was a fun night, both knew they had things left to discuss. So, when Blaine put on his coat at the end of the night, Kurt followed him to the door.

"We'll talk later?" Kurt asked eagerly, searching Blaine's face.

Blaine smiled and nodded eagerly and Kurt smiled, too. "Definitely. Soon."

Kurt grinned in response and, before he could second guess himself, he closed the space between them and kissed Blaine on the cheek, whispering a goodbye and shutting the door in his face, gently this time.

~~~

The day after his first date with Erik, Kurt met Blaine as usual, in their coffee shop. He was eager to tell Blaine all about the evening, to let him know how well it had gone, what a perfect job he had done matching them together. He hadn't noticed the sadness in Blaine's eyes, his tight smile and pained expression, his lackluster enthusiasm and shaky voice. Or, maybe he had, but he had pushed it from his mind, sure he was imagining things.

"He's really, really great, Blaine," Kurt said, eager to praise one of Blaine's self-reported best friends.

"Yeah, he is," Blaine replied, lifting his gaze from his coffee to meet Kurt's. "You two deserve each other." Kurt had smiled a small smile at this and Blaine had returned his gaze to his coffee, finding it too painful to look into the beautiful eyes of the boy across from him.

Apparently, the date had gone just as he feared it would: perfectly. Blaine had let himself hope, had, against his duty as best friend, crossed his fingers that it would be a disaster. That the conversation just wouldn't flow, that Erik would say something offensive or Kurt would state an opinion too openly, too controversialyl. But, he was forced to accept exactly what he had hoped he never would; he had been the best accidental matchmaker possible. Kurt raved about Erik's sense of humor and kind heart, sounding very much like Erik had when he described Kurt.

Blaine tried his best to feign enthusiasm, to make sure that Kurt knew he supported him, he was happy for him, but he knew he was more subdued than usual. Who could blame him though?

When Kurt had to leave for class, and he asked if they would meet again in two days, as usual, Blaine hesitated.

"If you want to bring Erik instead..."

"Blaine," Kurt had interrupted, "I want to get coffee with you, like we always do." Blaine had smalled a smile at this and nodded. Kurt smiled in return and said, "We're still friends, right?"

Blaine laughed and nodded, "Definitely."

"Good," Kurt replied. "Then, nothing's changed."

"Right. Nothing's changed."

Blaine and Kurt went their separate ways, both knowing that everything, in fact, had changed. But, they didn't really understand how much things would continue to change. Neither could possibly know or anticipate or guess what the future would bring. All they knew was, against all odds, they were still friends. And as long as that remained true, they could handle anything that life had to offer, together.

~~~

"Could they be any more oblivious?" Rachel asked Quinn with a smirk as she followed her into the kitchen.

Quinn laughed in response and made to get the lasagna from the oven, "I'm not sure what's worse: that Blaine still isn't sure how Kurt feels or that Kurt still thinks Blaine's with Sebastian. Should we say something?"

"No way," Rachel shook her head. "Make it easy for them? Do their dirty work? Not a chance. It's too fun to watch them squirm." Quinn rolled her eyes at her best friend, but agreed. It was fun to watch them squirm.

Rachel and Quinn returned to the dining room, lasagna and garlic bread in hand, to Drew and Finn, who were bonding over college football, and Kurt and Blaine, who were tiptoeing around each other, talking about something vague and unimportant, neither wanting to bring up the things about which they actually wanted to talk. Rachel and Quinn had planned the quasi-triple date in an effort to welcome Finn into their group - and to celebrate Blaine's return from Evanston - and had decided that dinner at Drew and Quinn's new apartment was the perfect way to do so. Blaine had only been back in the city for a few days; days filled with catching up on what he had missed while he was gone, days spent wondering about what he would say to Kurt, when he finally got the chance.

The dinner went as smoothly as they could have expected. Things were strange at first, as they always are with new groups of people, but, eventually, the conversation began to flow and they all realized how much they all had in common: their love of good music and good books, their taste in movies and TV shows and people all allowed for easy conversation. But then, Finn asked after Sebastian and Rachel choked on her wine and Drew coughed over a piece of bread, Quinn shot Blaine a look and Kurt looked like someone had punched him in the stomach. Finn, baffled that his simple question could elicit such strange reaction, looked entirely lost.

Blaine's response was equally baffling, as he cleared he throat and mumbled, "We, uh...well. He's not...he, we...we're on a break." At this, Quinn's eyes darkened and she frowned and Rachel turned a squeak into a cough, Drew held back a laugh and Finn looked even more lost.

Blaine didn't know what had inspired him to say such a strange and stupid and not entirely or even kind of true thing. He just knew that he didn't want Kurt to find out about Sebastian in front of all their friends. He wanted to tell Kurt about everything he had been through over the past few months, all the confusion and complications and love, but he wasn't ready yet. And, a part of him was petrified that Kurt wouldn't respond the way he hoped he would.

What if he didn't want to be with Blaine after all? What if he thought things were too messy, too complicated, too overdone? Whatever his reasons, Blaine decided to wait. To tell Kurt something vague and mostly untrue instead of explaining the complicated, specific truth that Sebastian had left Blaine, had told Blaine to be with Kurt.

Blaine didn't notice Kurt's face fall, didn't see the look of hurt and disappointment that crossed Kurt's face. He didn't understand how he was hurting Kurt, playing with his head. He didn't notice any of it. But Drew did.

The dinner went on as usual as the six friends swapped stories from their high school days and exchanged plans for the future and argued over who had played the best James Bond. Hours passed and, eventually, only Drew and Quinn and Blaine remained. Quinn started to clean things up and Blaine went to help her.

"Leave it," Drew said, holding up a hand. Blaine frowned at him, so Drew pulled him, not so gently, into the living room. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he asked harshly, as soon as they were out of Quinn's earshot. Blaine's eyebrows shot up and he merely stuttered in response. "Why are you lying to Kurt?"

"I'm not ly-"

"Oh, baloney sausage," Drew interrupted. "You are and we both know you are and it's breaking his heart. So tell me, why are you lying to Kurt?"

Blaine heaved a big sigh and sat on Drew's couch, reaching his hands to thread through his hair. "I don't know." Drew scoffed at this and gave Blaine a challenging look, so he tried again. "I'm scared," he said, voice just above a whisper.

Drew didn't know what he was expecting to hear, but it wasn't that. So, he sat down next to his best friend and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "You're scared because you're in love. And because it's Kurt, so it's all the more important. And you two have messed it up before. I'd be more worried if you weren't scared."

Blaine laughed a low laugh and asked, "Is this supposed to be a pep talk? Because if it is, you're really bad at pep talks."

Drew shoved Blaine lightly and laughed in response. "This isn't a pep talk, Blaine. This is an intervention." Blaine turned to look at Drew, frowning, so Drew explained, "You two have spent enough time apart. Enough time screwing up and hurting each other and being miserable. It's time you told him the truth," Drew said, looking at Blaine significantly, trying to convey the seriousness of what he was saying, "All of it."

"I know," Blaine sighed and dropped his head in his hands.

"If I were a betting man, " Drew said, patting Blaine on the back, "I'd bet on you two, you know."

Blaine laughed and looked up at Drew. "Thanks," he said with a small smile. "I'm going to tell him. Soon." Drew gave him a doubting look, so Blaine added, "Really, I am. I'm just waiting for the right time.

Looking doubtful, Drew smiled at Blaine and said, "Maybe it's time you stop waiting for the right time and you create the right time, ever think of that?"

Blaine looked at Drew and seemed to consider what he had said. After a beat, he nodded and smiled, "How did you get to be so wise?"

"I ask myself that every day, Blainey." At that, Blaine moved out from under Drew's arm to whack him in the head with a pillow. Before Drew could retaliate, Blaine fled to the kitchen to help Quinn.

Drew watched his best friend run away laughing and hoped that he had made a difference, hoped he had helped Blaine see something important. He saw how Kurt looked at Blaine and how Blaine looked at Kurt - it was how he imagined he looked when he looked at Quinn, how she looked when she looked at him - and he would do anything short of banging their heads together if it could help them find happiness, find each other.

~~~

"I met someone. A very cute, seemingly gay, male someone."

Kurt had barely gotten the words out when he heard two screams in response and he burst into laughter. He could always count on Quinn and Rachel to overreact - or, in this case, to react with as much enthusiasm and excitement as he hoped they would, as much as he was feeling, but trying to downplay - and their screams of joy were no disappointment.

"What's his name?"

"What's his major?"

"Is he short? Tall? Stocky? Thin?"

"Does he sing? Please tell me he sings!"

"How'd you meet?"

"Have you asked him out?"

"When's the wedding?"

"Have you started the adoption process already then?"

"I call godmother! I CALL GODMOTHER!"

Quinn and Rachel went back and forth, peppering Kurt with questions and comments, each more ridiculous -�and perfect -�than the last. In high school, Kurt had been the best listener, better than any girlfriend they could have imagined; asking them all the right questions about the boys they met and talked to and worshipped from afar. Kurt had sat by and watched as his two best friends had chance after chance to be excited, to be love struck and goofy and girly, and he never did. After a misguided and embarrassing crush on Finn, Kurt had hit a horrible dry spell (possibly because all the guys at McKinley were either gross or homophobic or so clearly straight) and this phone call, this new boy, marked the first crush Kurt had had in years.

So, he couldn't have asked for or imagined better reactions from his two best girls. He told them all about Blaine; every detail of their conversations and wordless interactions, everything he knew about Blaine's background and interests and future goals. They laughed and yelled and ooh-ed just when the should, telling him all the things girlfriends are supposed to - I'm sure he's interested, too and he sounds perfect and maybe he's the one, Kurt! - and it was wonderful. Kurt felt something soaring in his stomach; something that felt an awful lot like hope, something he hadn't felt in all of his life. For the first time in his eighteen years, Kurt had found someone who fit with him, someone who complimented him and talked to him and liked him - at least as a friend - and who may or may not offer the promise of a potential relationship. It was unfathomable, it was surreal, it was a dream come true. It had only been weeks - they barely knew each other - but in that little time, Kurt had felt more optimistic and hopeful than he ever had before. So, when it was time for Quinn and Rachel to hang up and return to their studying, and they asked him their final questions, he answered with all of his heart, unafraid to be bold and honest and hopeful, because it just felt so darn good.

"But really, do you think he could be someone special? The someone special?" Rachel asked, hesitation clear in her voice.

Quinn had laughed and said, voice stronger and clearer than her friend's, "What she means is: do you, Kurt Hummel, think that he, Blaine Anderson, might be your soul mate? Your true love? "

Rachel had scoffed, "My question was good, too," and Kurt had laughed lovingly at his two friends.

He had taken a breath and let himself say what was in his mind and heart, "I think he might be everything, all of the above."

At this, Quinn and Rachel had screamed again, half-dramatically and half in earnest and Kurt had smiled from ear to ear. Maybe he was being too hopeful, but in that moment he didn't really care. What was life if you didn't let yourself fall every once and awhile? What was life if you didn't take chances and go crazy and be maybe a little too hopeful?

"Well," Quinn had said, recovering from her scream, "if this kid does turn out to be the love of your life, then I think you owe us - your two best friends in the entire world - a promise."

"And what's that?" Kurt asked, laughing.

"Don't be too scared or nervous to act on it, don't miss this chance. Don't let him get away. Okay?"

Kurt knew Quinn was serious, even though Rachel was giggling in the background and Quinn was trying to play it off, and he smiled at how much she cared, how much they both cared.

"I promise," he said with a fake sigh. "Okay."

~~~

2:12PM From Sebastian to Blaine: So, are you two official yet, or what?

Blaine couldn't help but laugh as he read Sebastian's text, amazed that the boy could be so supportive. Blaine feared, and in some ways knew, that it was just an act. Sebastian was trying to be Blaine's friend, to support him and root for his relationship with Kurt, because he was hurting and lonely and because he still loved Blaine. It broke Blaine's heart to think about it. He didn't know what to do. So, he resigned himself to stay friends with Sebastian; to try to support him in any way that he could, even if it meant exchanging strange, snarky texts and meeting for dinner every once and a while. Was it typical for exes to do any of that? Probably not. But, Blaine found that he didn't really care what was typical. Sebastian was hurting and, like it or not, Blaine loved Sebastian and wanted to do whatever he could to make him hurt less.

2:14PM From Blaine to Sebastian: Not yet. Keep your panties on, I'm taking my time.

Blaine looked up from his phone just as Kurt walked through the door, lovely as ever, and a smile lit up his face.

Today was the day, Blaine had decided. Since Blaine had returned from Evanston, he and Kurt had tried to find time alone, time to finish their conversation, to talk openly, but their friends always seemed to get in the way. Rachel or Quinn or Drew, or some combination of the three, seemed to never leave them alone, inviting themselves along when Kurt and Blaine made plans. Blaine found that it was harder every time he was with Kurt not to crack; not to tell him everything, not caring who witnessed it, who overheard. He was sick of the secrets and sick of the half-truths. He wanted Kurt to know what was really going on, that he and Sebastian were done, that Blaine loved Kurt; always had and always would.

As Blaine sat waiting, he suspected - and hoped - that Kurt understood the importance of the day. A couple days earlier, while they were at Drew and Quinn's for a pizza and movie night, Blaine had mentioned something about looking forward to his coffee the next day, that he already knew he would need the caffeine. Drew had interjected and proposed that Kurt and Blaine go for coffee together, just the two of them. Blaine's soda had nearly come out of his nose, but Kurt had seemed thrilled at the idea. His eyes had lit up beautifully - with something more than humor, certainly, something more like excitement and understanding - and he had smiled from ear to ear. Drew had winked at Blaine, but Blaine hoped Kurt hadn't noticed that. He had seemed especially happy for the rest of the night, though, and when Blaine reminded him of their coffee date at the end of the night, Kurt had shot him a look.

"Like I'd forget," Kurt had said with a crinkly smile, eyes full of something excited and all-knowing.

Or, had Blaine been imagining it? Was he about to overwhelm Kurt completely? To take him by surprise, bombard him with unwanted information and now-irrelevant feelings? Was Blaine too late? Blaine couldn't help but be worried, sure he was jinxing himself somehow. Things never seemed to work with him and Kurt. Well, they worked perfectly in most ways, but when it came to following Blaine's plans, they were disastrous.

Maybe that was good, though. It certainly kept Blaine on his toes. He wouldn't psych himself out this time, he simply wouldn't allow it. If he was going down, he would go down swinging. Wasn't Kurt worth fighting for? Wasn't what they had - and what they could have - worth embarrassing himself or getting hurt or having his hopes crushed? Blaine knew the answer to all his questions was a resounding yes. So, come what may, he was telling Kurt. He laughed to himself, realizing that he always seemed to take his time, especially with Kurt. All good things take time, though. And Blaine didn't want to rush anything, didn't want to speak too soon for fear of messing something up. But now, he was ready. They were ready.

So, when Kurt walked over to their table and greeted Blaine with a hug, Blaine had to resist telling Kurt right there. Just saying it, I love you, I want to be with you forever, it's always been you. They started small, though, and Blaine told Kurt about his trip to visit Erik. Kurt had asked about Dave, and Blaine had responded as delicately as he could. Kurt didn't seem sad or remorseful or hurt, though, just happy that Erik was happy. Kurt seemed at peace, eager to move on from the past and simply live his life. Blaine couldn't help but admire Kurt's strength, his open heart. Blaine was about to steer the conversation toward more serious things, toward the two of them and their future and his feelings, when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

2:32PM From Sebastian to Blaine: Taking your time? You're moving at a glacial pace, like usual, Blaine. Glacial.

Blaine apologized to Kurt, taking his phone out to read Sebastian's text and couldn't help but laugh out loud.

"What's so funny?" Kurt asked, as his sipped his coffee, watching Blaine laugh at his phone.

"Oh, nothing," Blaine said, without thinking. "Just Sebastian being Sebastian."

As soon as the words left his lips, Blaine wished he could take them back, fearing how they would sound. Kurt's eyes grew sad and his face fell, as Blaine feared it would, and a light blush colored his face.

"Kurt, I-" Blaine started.

"You know, I actually have to go," Kurt interrupted, standing and putting his coat on in a flash. Before Blaine could form the words to explain himself or think to stop Kurt, to get him to stay, Kurt had uttered a quick, "See you around," and was gone.

~~~

Blaine didn't really remember a time before he knew: knew that he didn't like girls the way the other boys did, knew that there was something different about him, knew that his teachers gave him strange looks and knew that he had a secret that even he didn't really understand.

He remembered the first time he told anyone, though, the first time he spoke the words out loud, when he was ten years old.

His mom had found him, pacing and crying in his room, his books scattered across his floor and his eyes wide and sad and red-rimmed. She hadn't hesitated to wrap him in her arms, to whisper sweet nothings in his ear until he stopped crying, to lead him to the bed where she held him, rubbing his back until he calmed down.

Finally, when his breathing got back to normal and his tears ceased, she asked, "Can you tell me why you're so sad, honey?"

He had begun to cry again, at the sweetness of his mother's voice and how she always cared, no questions asked.

"Something's wrong with me," he had whispered, his voice cracking. His mom had looked at him, concern and love shining in her eyes, and she had urged him on. "I'm not like the other boys."

At this, his mother had seemed to understand. She had wrapped him in her arms again and held him as he cried, whispering the same three words in his ear again and again: I love you I love you I love you.

When it seemed that he had calmed down for good, his mother had taken his hands in hers and looked at him with warm eyes. "You might feel different, my love, but there is nothing wrong with you." When Blaine had tried to interrupt, his mom had held up a hand and continued, "You are perfect, inside and out; don't ever let anything or anyone make you think otherwise."

Blaine had smiled at this and reached his hand up to wipe the tears from his mother's cheek, thanking her, even though he still didn't really understand. "Somebody said..." he trailed off, looking down at his lap, not eager to say the word out loud.

"What did they say, Blainey?"

He sighed deeply and met his mother's eyes, "Am I gay?"

His mom had reached up to stroke his cheek and smile a small, teary smile at him. "I think you are." Blaine had nodded at this and continued to look conflicted. "And I think that's wonderful." Blaine had looked up in surprise, a frown on his face.

"You do?" he asked, eyebrows raised. "But I thought it was a bad thing."

"Oh, no," his mother had rushed to say. "No, Blaine. It's not a bad thing at all. You are the most special, the sweetest boy in the world."

"And I'm gay," Blaine had added, his brown beginning to smooth out a bit. His mom had nodded and stroked his cheek again. "I'm gay," he repeated, smiling this time.

When she saw her son smile, Blaine's mom couldn't help but smile too. "One day," she said, looking lovingly at Blaine, "you are going to meet a boy who is just as sweet and special as you are. And you're going to fall in love with him and you are going to be so very happy together."

"I am?" Blaine asked with wide, hopeful eyes and when his mom nodded he said, "That sounds nice."

His mom had hugged him again, and this time he held her as she cried, not really understanding why she was crying, why she was sad, what had gone wrong. He didn't know, he couldn't know, the hardship that would lie ahead. His mother understood how cruel and unkind the world could be but Blaine, with his open smile and his young heart, couldn't understand, couldn't foresee the obstacles and the judgment and the hatred he would encounter. He guessed that his mom was crying happy tears, as she did sometimes, much to his confusion, that she was simply happy that Blaine was going to find love one day. Blaine knew that the idea made him happy. He imagined holding hands and kissing and hugging the way his parents did, but with another boy. He imagined going on dates like he saw in the movies and singing duets like they did in Aladdin, he imagined a future of slow dancing and sleepovers and telling secrets, and he smiled.

He was different, but, apparently, that was okay. Apparently, that just meant that he was special, and one day he would meet a boy was were just as special as he was. And that sounded pretty wonderful to Blaine.

~~~

Kurt rushed out of the coffee shop, heart racing, cheeks burning and stomach tied in knots. Blaine was still with Sebastian? Seriously? After everything, after the wedding and the months that followed, Kurt had been sure that Blaine would come to the completely obvious solution that Sebastian just wasn't right for him. That Kurt was right for him. Kurt had pushed aside thoughts of "we're on a break," hoping that Blaine was just taking his time, letting Sebastian down easy.

Kurt held back tears as he walked as quickly as he could back to the solace of his apartment. How had he been so stupid? How had he let himself hope so foolishly, with such reckless abandon?

He moaned and groaned to himself, chastising himself for his optimism, until he remembered: Blaine kissed him. Blaine came to his apartment hours after landing from his trip to Chicago. Blaine wanted to talk to him; had kept bringing it up and trying to be alone together. BBlaine had seemed thrilled to meet him for coffee. Kurt wasn't being ridiculous. He wasn't being naive or foolish or gullible; Kurt had just been reading the signs, picking up on Blaine's hints. Kurt wasn't being pathetic or obsessed; he wasn't carrying a torch for no reason; time and time again, Blaine had given him reasons and reasons and more reasons to believe.

There was something going on. There had to be something Blaine wasn't telling him. Something Kurt didn't, maybe couldn't, understand. Maybe Blaine wanted to break up with Sebastian, but he wanted to be sure about Kurt first. Maybe Blaine was scared, worried that Kurt didn't feel the same anymore. Maybe Blaine was confused or torn or conflicted. Well, Kurt decided, it was time he cleared things up for Blaine.

It was time he did what he came to New York to do: fight for the boy he loved. So, before he could rethink it, he called Blaine's cell phone from his speed dial. Blaine answered, sounding relieved and surprised and concerned, but Kurt cut him off before he could finish a sentence.

"Kurt! Thank God, I was-

"We need to talk. Really talk."

"We do! I wanted-

"I have a lot of things I need to say to you," Kurt said, hoping to convey some secret message to Blaine.

"Me too."

They both paused, not knowing where to go from there.

Blaine broke the silence, saying, "You should come over. Soon."

"Okay."

"How about right now, actually?"

Kurt couldn't help but chuckle as he agreed, "I'll be right over."

Both boys hung up their phones, excited and nervous and slightly confused. They had no way of knowing what would happen when Kurt got to Blaine's; but that was okay. When it came to things between the two of them, they had both learned to be prepared for anything; to accept whatever cards they were dealt.

Only, now, Kurt was rethinking his whole attitude. With Erik, he had accepted his cards, played them as he could. But now? With this Sebastian drama and their new lives in New York and everything they'd been through, Kurt decided it was time he demanded a re-deal; it was time he picked his own cards, chose his own fate. Or, well, forced Blaine to see he was Kurt's fate.

~~~

In the months following Kurt and Erik's engagement, Blaine often found himself thinking about Kurt, wondering what could have been. Their love story was one for the ages; of that much Blaine was sure. It wasn’t the sad, unrequited love he had once thought it to be. Nor was it a forbidden love that left a trail of broken hearts and friendships in its wake, as he had, at his worst, darkly wished it could be. It was the story of an honest love, a true love; a love that could have been and, maybe, should have been. But, as it often does, life got in the way. Friendship and commitment and morality interfered.

When he returned home for a break from it all and his mother badgered him with questions, Kurt came up, as he often did.

“What about that boy, the one you talk about so much? Kurt, right?” his mom asked, once Blaine had dropped his suitcases in his bedroom.

“He’s still with Erik, Mom. They’re going to get married, actually.” Blaine said, masking his unhappiness as best as he could.

“Huh,” she replied. “I always thought you two would end up together.” she said honestly, reaching for Blaine’s hand and squeezing it softly, a slight frown appearing on her face.

Blaine felt more love for his mother in that moment than he had in recent memory, which was saying something. He squeezed her hand back and his lips turned upward slightly, forming a small, sad smile.

“I did, too.”

~~~

When Kurt knocked on the door, Blaine jumped, more nervous and antsy than he realized.

It's no big deal, he told himself. It's just Kurt. He stopped to take one last look at himself in the mirror, to straighten his bowtie and fix his hair, to remind himself that this was really happening. Oh, who are you kidding? This is Kurt! It's a huge deal! He smiled at himself in the mirror; giddy and jumpy and excited and went to answer the door.

As soon as he opened it, Kurt smiled at him and walked in, straight past Blaine. His eyes were wide and he seemed a bit antsy too, jittery, like he knew something important, something life-changing was about to happen.

Blaine shut the door and turned to meet Kurt's frantic gaze. "I'm so glad you called me. I have some important things to tell-"

"Can I talk first?" Kurt interrupted, eyebrows raised, one hand resting, and shaking slightly, on his hip and the other worrying at the hem of his sweater. "I have something I need to say."

Blaine's brow furrowed and he nodded, curious, "Sure, but I wa-"

"I'm sorry," Kurt said, talking over Blaine again. Blaine's gaze got more confused and Kurt went on, "I've had this whole speech ready since I got to New York, all these things I wanted to tell you: and that's the first thing: I'm sorry. " Blaine frowned, but Kurt kept going, launching into the speech he'd been planning for months. "I've said I was sorry before but I can't really apologize enough...I never should have done what I did all those years ago." Blaine looked confused, and Kurt elaborated, "What I put you though? The pain I caused you and Erik and myself?" Blaine's face fell a bit as he realized what Kurt meant, his eyes falling to the floor as Kurt said, "It was stupid and selfish and I regret it every day. But, Blaine, what good are apologies and regrets? What good is wishing we could change the past?" Blaine looked up to see, with surprise, that Kurt was smiling. "I never should have let you convince me to marry Erik...but I did. It happened and we can't change it and now we're here and all I can think is that I should learn from the past. I have to change, do what I didn't do before." Kurt smiled wider now, looking Blaine in the eyes. "In college, we were both so worried." He reached a hand up to rub his forehead as he laughed. "We wanted everyone to be happy so badly that," he paused and met Blaine's eyes again as he said, "we forgot about ourselves. We should have realized how miserable we were really making everyone."

Kurt sighed and he smiled at Blaine, stepping closer to him. "You should have fought for me. For us. You told me to marry someone else!" he cried, incredulously. "Who does that?!" Blaine couldn't help but laugh, watching Kurt's eyes light up as he added, "Sure, I was dumb enough to listen, but you were dumb enough to say it in the first place." Kurt took another step closer and reached out his hand to grab Blaine's. Startled, Blaine looked down, as their fingers intertwined.

"I'm not going to let our own stupidity and foolishness get in the way again. Last time it was different. With Erik," Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand and said, "we both cared about him, loved him. But now..." Kurt stopped and waited for Blaine's eyes to meet his, "Blaine, I don't give a rat's ass about Sebastian." Blaine let out a guffaw at Kurt's candor and Kurt said, "I'm not afraid to say it! He hasn't done anything to me, I don't have anything against the guy. But he's not me." Kurt gave Blaine a pointed, are you getting this?, look. "He's not me. And you know you're supposed to be with me."

Blaine looked up to meet Kurt's eyes again, soaking in the incredibly surreal moment. "After everything we've been through, you can't possibly tell me that you think we're supposed to be apart. We keep coming back to each other. We're inevitable, Blaine." Kurt smiled widely and went on, his voice full of determination, "You and me, what we have; it's fate. And you can't fight fate." Blaine smiled at this and, with a strong voice, Kurt continued, "Whether you see it or not, we're going to end up together."

Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand again and dropped it, taking step back so he could look into Blaine's eyes properly. "So, this," he said, raising his hands, "is me learning from the past. This is me correcting our mistakes and righting our wrongs. This is me growing up and opening my eyes and fighting for you, fighting for us, the way we should have all along." His eyes shone and he smiled shyly, sweetly as he said, "I am so unbelievably in love with you." At this, Blaine couldn't help but grin, and reached out to take Kurt's hand again. Kurt smiled at their hands and went on, "You are the one thing in this world that matters to me, above all else. I don't want to imagine a life without you. So, please, please don't make me."

Blaine stood there, wide-eyed and grinning, his heart racing, unsure of what to say. He started, "Kurt I-" but before he could finish, Kurt's lips were on his. He froze for a moment and then began to respond, wrapping his arms around Kurt, trying to use his lips and tongue and hands to show Kurt what he couldn't seem to tell him. It was so different from their last kiss, tender and slow, soft and loving, but still desperate, still aching for more. Blaine wondered if he would ever kiss Kurt and not ache for more. He doubted it.

When the pulled apart, however reluctantly, Blaine laughed an adorable laugh and they stood facing each other, with matching blushes and smiles. Blaine smiled widely as he said, "So, is it my turn now?" Kurt smirked and nodded, so Blaine went on."Sebastian and I broke up," he said simply and Kurt's eyebrows shot up. "At the wedding, actually," he added sheepishly. "I didn't tell you because I was mad and then I was stupid and I wanted to take things slow."

Kurt smiled, but his brow was still furrowed, so Blaine elaborated. "He figured it out, too. Just like everybody does. What we have..." he trailed off, grabbing Kurt's hand again and squeezing it, "this weird connection between us: it's not something you can fight. You're it for me, Kurt. Sebastian saw it, too. He wants us to be happy." Blaine smiled and finished, "To be happy and to be together. And when I went to visit Erik, I told him everything, too." Kurt's eyes widened and Blain continued, "I wanted his blessing. He deserved to know the whole story. And now he does and he's happy for us. They both are. So, we don't have to feel bad anymore. We don't have to be apart, not ever again."

Kurt's brow smoothed as he began to understand, smile widening. Blaine made to kiss him, but he held up a hand, "Hang on." He frowned at Blaine and said, "So you let me give you that whole entire dramatic speech when, this whole time, you-"

"Invited you over to tell you it was time we got together, yeah," Blaine interrupted, fighting back a laugh. "But I couldn't interrupt you! It was such a nice speech."

Kurt scoffed and Blaine laughed harder, wrapping his arms around Kurt. Kurt rolled his eyes and hugged Blaine back, "You are unbelievable," he said, with mock disdain.

"You love it," Blaine said, grinning at Kurt, eyes shining with happy tears.

Kurt sighed heavily and smiled as he said, "You're right. I do."

Hours later, as they sat on Blaine's couch cuddling and kissing and laughing, Blaine took Kurt's hand in his and kissed it. He looked into Kurt's eyes and smiled, saying, "I never had a chance to appropriately respond to what you said before." Kurt gave him a questioning look, so he explained, "When you told me you loved me." Kurt smiled and nodded, "I think I've loved you from the day we met." Kurt rolled his eyes, and Blaine made an outraged face. "No, really! In some way or another, I did. I always have. And everyday I've known you, I've loved you more. Even when I fought against it and even when I couldn't see straight because I was so mad at you, I loved you. I meant what I said all those years ago." Blaine smiled sweetly at Kurt, who wasn't rolling his eyes anymore, but looking lovingly into Blaine's, "I will love you forever, Kurt Hummel, and the day after that, too."

Blaine kissed Kurt's hand again, and Kurt moved to replace his hand with his mouth, whispering, "I love you so much." Their lips met and they knew: for the rest of their lives, they would have each other, would love each other. It was as it always should have been: easy and simple and so very right. Blaine was Blaine and Kurt was Kurt and they were together, finally, as they were meant to be.

~~~