It was finally Friday evening, and Kurt had lost track of how many hours he'd spent shirtless and pantless in front of his full length mirror, staring at himself with a drained, pale face.

He was anything less than completely nerve-wracked.

He kept poking and pinching at the skin under his belly button, smoothing his hands down his chest and making a disgusted face at how rough his abdomen felt under his palms. In general, he was disgusted with himself completely. He then tugged at what he thought were thighs filled with nothing but fat, hiding barely any muscle. He couldn't even imagine being stark naked in front of Blaine with his body so out of shape and neglected of moisturizing and hygienic care, of course they'd had sex before, even other types besides your simple vanilla. Yet he was still terrified that the minute they'd undress, and Blaine would slip into his dominating mode, Kurt would feel nothing but humiliation as his boyfriend would take one long look at his body, deciding that a submissive boy like him didn't deserve a dominating, beautiful boyfriend like Blaine.

I really don't deserve him.

Kurt had to blame all these conjured up nerves and low self esteem thoughts on himself, since he had spent all lunchtime watching BDSM videos in the boys bathroom stall, sitting on the floor cross-legged and chomping on his nails as he watched a tall, muscular man restrain a smaller man to what seemed to look like a hammock. But this hammock was used for torture, not relaxation, and instead of looking peaceful, the smaller man looked as if he was having a screwdriver plunged into his asshole. And yet they still looked blissful at the end, as well as completely breathless. The men were beautiful, perfect, so in shape it amazed him that they didn't even break one bone during the process of submitting and torturing. One thing that did terrify him, though, was how vulnerable the submissive was to his dominator. How they were thrown and pinned down by the dominator without any refusal or protest, and allowed the man above them to use them as they pleased, enjoying it although it was obvious in the submissives expressions they were experiencing slight pain from the harsh play.

Kurt gulped as he stared into the mirror, the thought of being bruised and thrown down against his will was again, nerve-wracking, and he still couldn't wrap his finger around how any of this restraining, whipping, and torture foreplay could even be pleasurable, which is why Kurt was grateful him and Blaine had promised they'd discuss what they were going to do and what their limits were before they'd try anything out. Of course he felt bad that he had told Blaine earlier he really wasn't up for dangerous and vulnerable positions yet, but they were only sticking their feet in the water, testing the waters before they jumped into anything terrifying like 'torture hammocks.'

Kurt checked the time all the wall, noticing if he didn't gather his distressed self together he'd be late. He grabbed his shirt and pants and tugged them back on, smoothing out the tight white button up shirt and quickly zipping up his jeans. He looked into the mirror one more time.

Everything's going to be fine. Blaine loves you, he wouldn't force you to do anything.

Everything's going to go great. He can't judge you, he knows what your body looks like.

And yet still those thoughts, deep and dark inside the back of his mind haunted him.

You don't deserve Blaine.

Kurt grabbed his phone before hurrying out of the house before he could change his mind, and drove over to Blaine's.

***

Blaine had smoothed the sheets of his bed over for what must have been the hundredth time, fluffing the pillows again and again and making sure his room was spotless of any flaws, dirt, or unsymmetric furniture.

Everything has to be perfect.

And so he would make it perfect, making sure he lighting a few candles and dimmed the lights in his large room to set a comforting mood for the both of them. He knew he was a wreck about trying out such a far roleplay then they have ever tried, and he could only imagine how nervous Kurt was, being that he was a submissive and had to obey Blaine's commands.

This night would have to be all consensual, Blaine had decided, or else if something went wrong and Kurt or Blaine lost complete disinterest, they would never go back to this role playing that they clearly craved, as well did their inner bodies.

The room filled with the scent of warm, vanilla and lavender lit candles, Kurt's and his favorite shared scent. He glanced around before he left the room, seeing everything was in perfect play and the bed looked utterly inviting, as well as the warm feeling the lingered from the lighted wax of the candles. He left the room before he could let his compulsiveness drag him back in there and force him to bleach the bed post.

Everything is going to be fine.

His mind was in a battle, but he needed to keep composed for Kurt, or else they would both crumble in a heap of nerves.

He sat in the living room, where him and Kurt would discuss what they wished to try out in their dominant and submissive roleplay, and what they did not wish to even go near.

His fingers tapped nervously on the glass surface of his coffee table, shifting on the leather couch and then deciding to fluff the pillows where Kurt would be sitting, trying to keep himself busy.

He suddenly heard the doorbell ring, and like a cat, nearly jumped off the couch in surprise.

Kurt was here.

Blaine got off the couch and sprinted to the front door, leaving every nerve behind them as he rushed to grab the doorknob and open up the door.

"Hi." Kurt's breathy voice greeted him.

"Hi." Blaine smiled, opening the door wider. "Come on in."

Kurt stepped through the door and entered Blaine's apartment, eyes trained on the ground as he wrung his fingers together. Blaine could feel the anxiousness radiating off of Kurt, immediately grabbing hold of one of his hands and taking it in a strong, firm hold in his own.

"Hey, you trust me right?"

Kurt nodded slowly.

"Then look at me."

Kurt's eyes slowly rose to meet Blaine's honey, hazel colored ones, immediately blushing under his gaze. Blaine grinned and leaned in to kiss the boys lips softly. "I love you so much." He murmured, keeping their faces close. "You need to trust me on this, this is what we both want, right?"

Another nod.

"Then let me take care of you."

Kurt's hand squeezed Blaine's, smiling slightly now. "Okay, I'm okay don't worry."

Blaine squeezed back and led Kurt into the living room, sitting them both down on the couch and wrapping an arm around Kurt's waist. "I have to say, you look absolutely ravishing tonight." That caused a chuckle out of Kurt, his head lowering to rest on Blaine's shoulder.

"I better, I spent two hours picking out an outfit to wear tonight."

Blaine hummed in response. "Well that seems silly."

"Does it?"

"Well yes, knowing that I'm going to rip them off you as soon as I can."

Kurt looked up at Blaine with an eyeroll before he clung to his bicep. Blaine exhaled out a breath into the tense air, which at this point with both their awkward responses, could be cut with a knife.

"Can we just...get started talking about it I'm...I'm sort of freaking out."

Blaine frowned as he looked down at Kurt, his arm tightening its hold around him. "Don't freak out, its just me, its my apartment which you know as well as your home. The only factor we're not familiar with is this roleplay. But with you being a fantastic actor I don't think our role play will be a complete failure."

Kurt rolled his eyes fondly. "Flattery won't help my nerves."

Blaine nodded understandingly. "Will talking to me about what you're so nervous about help?"

Kurt shrugged, staring down at the hardwood floor of the living room. "I guess so."

Blaine knew Kurt was timid about being so exposed and under his command, and he wanted to be as generous and consensual as he could before experimenting anything. He stroked the pale boys back soothingly, massaging his neck gently as he inhaled and exhaled.

"I'm just...terrified. Terrified that I'm going to screw up everything and get too scared or something. I researched what happens during these role plays and to be honest it doesn't look like love or pleasure it looks like absolute torture." Kurt frowned down at his feet.

"So, what you're saying is you researched BDSM porn and scared the shit out of yourself." Blaine couldn't hide the amused grin on his lips.

Kurt noticed the grin immediately and gave a playful smack to his chest. "Shut up, I'm telling you my real feelings about this!"

"I know, I know, I'm sorry, you may continue."

Kurt glared up at him before returning his eyes down. "I guess I just don't want to get hurt emotionally or physically and have us stop because of it." He mumbled more quietly. "I don't want to disappoint you, because I know you really want to do this.

Blaine sighed and shook his head. "Oh baby, you should know by now that I love you to pieces, and I would never, ever judge you because you were too scared to try something. If this isn't what you want, then it's not what I want either. I want you to be happy, always. You could never disappoint me when you're trying something that seems a little out of the box for us, I actually adore you for speaking your mind about it." He carded his fingers through Kurt's chestnut locks, smoothing his hand over his forehead, and causing Kurt to melt under all the attention.

"Mm, I know you love me no matter what..." Kurt leaned into Blaine's hand, nuzzling into it as it cupped his cheek. "I just know how much of a screw up I am."

"You are not." Blaine frowned. "You are strong, and smart, and you know what you like and don't like the minute you try it. Please just...see if it makes you feel good, and if not, it's done. We never have to do it again."

Kurt thought about Blaine's offer for a moment, looking up at him finally as he nodded slowly and kissed the palm of Blaine's hand. "Of course I'll try it, that's why I'm here."

Blaine smiled and leaned in to peck his lips once more. "Good, I'm so proud of you. Would you like to share your limits with me now?"

"Just don't bruise me, I can't wear long-sleeved shirts in the spring."

Blaine knew it was an actual 'Kurt' threat, but he burst into laughter. "I won't, I won't I promise. And as long as you don't try and dominate me I'll be fine."

Kurt smiled and giggled quietly. "Will do. I-uh remember reading about a safeword just incase one of us needs to stop..."

"I was thinking Warblers..."

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Like your old school's choir?"

"Like my old school's choir." Blaine confirmed.

Kurt nodded. "I like it, but hopefully we won't have to use it."

Blaine slipped up from the couch. "I'm sure we won't."

Kurt followed, standing aside Blaine before they locked eyes, silence filling the room as they blatantly stared at each other. The only sound echoing was the ticking of Blaine's clock from the kitchen, but deep blue eyes were glued to hazel, and both their bodies froze for a moment.

Before they attacked.

Blaine grabbed Kurt by the ass and pulled him against his body as they both crashed their lips together, Kurt clinging around Blaine's neck before he jumped, wrapping his legs around Blaine's waist, Blaine catching him only to grip him at his ass harder, kissing him roughly as he started to carry him to his room. For whatever reason he couldn't hold his hunger in, and neither did Kurt, but soon they both ended up in Blaine's bedroom, his foot kicking open the door and causing it to slam against the wall as they rushed to the bed. Blaine laid Kurt atop of the silk made sheets and rushed to crawl over him, immediately owning Kurt's lips with his own as he cradled his cheeks and kissed him dizzy. He slid his tongue into Kurt's mouth, tangling both theirs together as their bodies met and glued to one another. Blaine growled as Kurt's hands gripped at his loose curls, moving to grab at his wrists and suddenly pin them down against the pillows. Kurt gasped in response.

Blaine watched Kurt struggle at first, leaning up to watch him as he squirmed relentlessly under his body and whined, arms desperately trying to break away from Blaine's strong grasp and rip his wrists away. But as Blaine's eyes narrowed, he watched with a satisfied look as Kurt's wide eyed, scared look turned into a relaxed one, and he stopped struggling as he looked up at Blaine and let out a sudden moan.

Kurt had submitted for the first time. His face was full of a rosy color from blushing, his body relaxed under his dominators, and his ragged breathing had slowed. Sparks of pleasure ran up through his body from being held down, and as he even shifted slightly, he felt so dominated and overwhelmed with control. "Blaine..." He whined.

Blaine glared and held Kurt's wrists tighter to the pillows. "What's my name, pet." His tone had turned lower, just as expected, and his eyes were dilating fast as he glared down at his submissive.

Kurt whimpered and turned his head against the pillow. "S-Sir...Sir I need you."

Blaine merely nodded. "Good, that's what I like to here. Do you want to come my sweet pet?" Kurt nodded his head fast, although Blaine could already tell from the large bulge under his ass from sitting on the front of Kurt's jeans.

"I bet you do." Blaine mused. "But what makes you such a good boy that I'd let you come?"

"I'll do anything to be a good boy.." Kurt's voice was small, promising.

Blaine found it delicious how small he even looked under him, so vulnerable. "Will you now?" Blaine let go of his wrists. "Remove your shirt and pants for me, and then keep your arms above your head, don't you dare move them anywhere else."

Kurt murmured a small, "Yes, Sir," Before tugging at the buttons of his shirt and unbuttoning it quickly, laying back more to tug off his jeans and place them at the edge of the bed. "Like that, Sir?" He asked politely, returning his arms above his head on the heap of pillows and noticing that Blaine had removed everything except his boxers as well.

"Yes, good boy." Blaine let his eyes linger down Kurt, gazing at his beautiful, pale chest, with no muscular defines but skinny and bony as ever. He then moved his eyes after the 'V' of his hips, to his boxer briefs that hugged his cock and showed its protruding length, to his long slender legs that were spread out and almost inviting Blaine in. He trailed his hands across Kurt's smooth legs, the boy watching him with an eager look before he blushed, seeing that Blaine was staring down at his body. "Hey, look at me." Blaine commanded. Kurt met Blaine's eyes, blushing deeper.

"Yes, Sir?"

"You're gorgeous." Blaine winked, leaning to kiss the inside of Kurt's thigh gently, feeling the boy shiver under him, before he crawled between his legs and moved to straddle him again. "You are so beautiful, I love every single inch of your body." Kurt smiled slightly in response to that, and murmured softly.

"Thank you...you're gorgeous too, Sir." Kurt couldn't help but let his own eyes linger, seeing as Blaine had the best built body in Lima, Ohio. He was so tan, it made Kurt completely jealous that the sun favored his olive skin the most, and he thanked boxing because it caused the muscles and veins to bulge out of Blaine's arms, a small six pack just nearly faint but just attractive enough that Kurt wanted to trace his tongue around the lines of his muscles.

Blaine leant down again, grabbing Kurt's wrists and pressing them back down into the pillows to hold him down, using his body weight to weigh the rest of Kurt's tinier one down to the mattress. "You like what you see my little pet?"

Kurt licked his lips, groaning slightly as Blaine shifted above him, rubbing their covered cocks together. "Y-Yeah..."

Blaine hummed. "Did you like that too?" He rolled his hips, rubbing both their hardened cocks to create slight friction that caused Kurt to try and buck up to feel more of it. "No, no, no..." Blaine tsked. "I will give you pleasure, not yourself, remember?"

"Only with your permission." Kurt finished Blaine's rule, nodding his head. "Yes, Sir, I'm sorry."

Blaine nodded once and continued to roll his hips slowly, keeping up a pattern as he moved them up, and down, feeling the struggle in Kurt's body each time their cocks met through their underwear and rubbed together, but soon the feeling was gone and a tiny whine would escape Kurt's mouth as the pleasure only teased his body but didn't give him enough. Blaine decided to have mercy on the boy, although watching his eyes flutter closed as brows furrow each time he rubbed against him was breathtaking to watch. He started to grind against Kurt faster, nails digging into the side of Kurt's wrists and he bucked down harder and caused both the fabrics of their underwear to slide and slightly chafe.

"Oh god.." Kurt whimpered under his breath, tilting his head back as his mouth parted. "Oh god!" His moans grew louder, and suddenly Blaine was grinding harder, holding Kurt down as he crashed their hips together over and over, but never giving Kurt the full amount of what he needed. Blaine was now moaning low himself, grunting as well as he rubbed off on Kurt, his hips rocking down only to eagerly hear a gasp and moan from Kurt in response, the boy already falling apart beneath him. Soon he got tired of chafing and nearly ripped Kurt's boxer briefs off his legs, doing the same to his own and carefully matching them up together, looking deep into Kurt's eyes as he held onto him, pinned him to the bed and stared deep into him. Kurt looked back with hazy eyes, squirming as he awaited the pleasure that would come.

Blaine started to grind their cocks together as he locked eyes with Kurt, staring down at him with intense eyes as their cocks fit together and rubbed. Blaine moaned as he started to gyrate his hips faster, the feeling so intense of just how bare and exposed Kurt was under him, not being able to move and only taking pleasure from Blaine himself no-one else. His skin tingled with fire as he grinded and grinded, their cocks twitching and throbbing against one another.

Kurt's response to such bare movement was much more exhilarating. He shouted in surprise, filling the room with his high pitched cry as Blaine's cock rubbed against his own painful throbbing one. His body was trembling now as it filled with need for release, just as it had done the other night. He was staring up at Blaine with wide eyes and an open mouth as he moaned and moaned and jolted off the bed as their cocks would fit perfectly together and cause pleasure to shock his body. He couldn't move, at all. Blaine's restraint was harsh, but it only made the pleasure more intense as he rocked and rocked on top of him, rubbing off and leaving Kurt to take whatever pleasure his dominator granted him. And he thrashed his head from side to side as Blaine picked up the pace and caused that familiar tight coil in his tummy. "I..I'm close, Sir." He confessed, squeezing his eyes shut under Blaine's intense glare, their bodies slid together again, legs entangled and foreheads pressed together.

"I am too." Blaine's breathless voice responded, continuing to grind and gyrate his hips harder so they were both moaning aloud and proud into the air of the bedroom. "Oh, Kurt, fuck yes..." He babbled, feeling close himself and rocking harder, rubbing his own cock against Kurt to try and reach his high. "Come for me when you want, baby, come for your master." He rubbed and rocked as fast as he could, their naked bodies grinding together for desperate release until finally, Kurt let out a scream and arched his back off the bed, only leaving Blaine to let out a shout of Kurt's name and keep his arms down to the bed. They both came hard over each other, white spurting over their thighs and leaving a complete mess on the sheets. Kurt's body shook again violently under Blaine from his release, eyes fluttering shut as he whimpered and came down from his orgasm. Blaine remained above Kurt, but released his arms, catching his breath first before he reached over and grabbed tissues from his bedside table. He slowly wiped off their mess as they both calmed down, cleaning up the most he could, from the sheets before he chucked it away and collapsed near Kurt. "God, that was...amazing..." He breathed out with a chuckle, looking over to Kurt. "Don't you think?"

But Kurt was already fast asleep, his poor spent submissive couldn't even hold himself up.

Blaine looked over at the clock and decided it was best to go to sleep, seeing as it was ten thirty and he was exhausted himself. He leaned over each side of the bed to gently blow out the scented candles, before picking up the covers and covering both their naked bodies with silk. He gathered Kurt up in his arms, cuddling him to his chest which caused the sleeping boy to nuzzle into his warmth. He smiled fondly down at his beautiful submissive, smoothing the hair back from his forehead and kissing between his eyes. "Sleep well, angel." He murmured.

"We'll discuss everything tomorrow."

Kurt only whimpered softly in his sleep.

I do deserve him.