December 20th
Kurt felt Rachels hand on his shoulder as he stood at the airport gate with stupid, hot tears pooling in his eyes, threatening to spill over and run down his cheeks. He turned around and smiled sadly at Rachel.
"Honey," she said, pulling him into her arms. He pushed her away and shook his head, because he knew if he hugged her back hed really break down.
"Im okay," he said, his voice betraying him.
"I know you really wanted him to stay," Rachel replied. She took his hand and began pulling him through the airport, lacing their fingers and leaning into him as she did.
"I just...its our first Christmas as fianc�s," Kurt said. He was trying his hardest not to sound like a bratty kid. But he couldnt help it. Blaine had only just left and he missed him already. He missed his strong arms, his easy laugh, his warm eyes. After almost an entire year apart, all Kurt wanted was for them to make up for lost time. And he had planned their first Christmas back together in New York perfectly. They were going to go ice skating at Rockefeller Center together on Christmas Eve, and then they would go to the airport and pick up Burt. After that, the three of them would go out to dinner and go home and have hot chocolate and bake cookies.
"Hes coming back for New Years though, right?" Rachel asked, an attempt at comfort. But Kurt didnt want comfort. He wanted Blaine to come home now, right now, and pull him into his arms and tear off his clothes.
"I guess," Kurt replied, pouting. "All I wanted to do was spend Christmas with him. But his stupid, stupid family and the stupid, stupid traditions and-"
"Hey, you like his family."
"Not when they...rip him away from me! On Christmas!"
Rachel laughed as they stepped outside, pulling their coats closed. It had yet to snow, so the cold was the kind of dry, bitter chill that seemed to seep underneath Kurts skin and his hair until he couldnt even remember a time when he wasnt this cold.
Kurt was glad it hadnt snowed yet. He didnt want to watch the world get white and quiet and beautiful without Blaine by his side, curled up on the couch together. Blaine loved snow more than anything in the entire world.
A gust of wind blew up their jackets as Rachel hailed a cab and pulled Kurt in behind her.
"Gonna snow any day now," the driver said as he pulled away after Rachel gave him their address. She nodded eagerly, smiling. "I hope so," she replied.
Kurt rolled his eyes, even though he knew he should be appreciative of his friends efforts to cheer him up.
He just didnt want to smile. He wasnt in the mood to be happy today. Ever since hed been woken up by Blaines alarm this morning, he had been moody and sullen and god damn it, all he wanted to do was miss his fianc�.
He pouted through the entire mostly-silent ride, looking sullenly out at the houses and buildings all dressed and lit up for Christmas. He hated the stupid red and green and gold decorations that hung from every stupid tree and stupid lamp post. He hated the stupid people in their stupid knock-off cashmere scarves and gloves and hats and stupid cheap wool coats drinking stupid coffee and walking down the street with their arms full of stupid bags from stupid stores carrying stupid Christmas presents.
And most of all, Kurt hated the stupid, stupid couples. The way they held hands and had stupid smiles on their faces and kissed at every crosswalk.
Because that should have been him and Blaine. The two of them should have been walking down the street all cuddled up like that together, looking just as stupid and in love as all those couples did.
It just wasnt fair. It wasnt fair that everyone else he saw got to spend Christmas with the love of their lives and his was on a flight back to Ohio, to spend Christmas with cousins he hated and a father with whom his relationship had only gotten marginally better in the past year or so.
The cab pulled up at the curb outside their building and Rachel handed the driver the fare, swatting Kurts hand away as he tried to take his wallet out from his coat pocket.
Kurt squinted as he stepped out of the cab into a particularly strong gust of wind. The clouds overhead looked gray and heavy, and he prayed it wouldnt snow.
Not before Blaine got home.
--
The airport was just as crowded as Blaine had expected it to be, filled with people trying to spot their family members and loved ones and friends.
Blaine kept his head low, hoping whichever one of his obnoxious cousins was there to retrieve him wouldnt notice him. He wanted to slip through the terminal unnoticed and call a car service to take him to his parents house where he planned to eat his weight in his mothers Italian cooking. And then, he wanted to get through Christmas as quickly as possible so that he could go home to New York and ring in the New Year with Kurt.
Kurt.
Blaine sighed and slumped against a wall and pulled out his phone, clicked it on to look at the picture he used as a screensaver. It had been taken right after theyd gotten engaged, and it was his favorite picture of them ever. They had been lying in bed together, cuddling and Blaine had been trying to take pictures of Kurt. But Kurt had kept pulling the blankets up over his head and laughing, saying his skin was blotchy, his hair was a mess, his eyes were red, but Blaine didnt care. He had wrapped an arm around Kurts shoulder and smooched his cheek, holding his phone out and snapping a picture, capturing Kurts head thrown back in laughter, his lips on Kurts cheek.
Blaine smiled a little wistfully down at the picture, wishing he was back in New York with Kurt wrapped in his arms.
"Psst!"
Blaine whirled around to face his brother Coopers piercing blue eyes and mischievous smile.
"Coop," he sighed, relieved that it was his brother and not one of the twenty-six loud, irritating cousins that had been systematically flying into Ohio from all over the country throughout the week.
Blaine loved his family, but only because they were his family. The honest truth was, if he hadnt grown up with these...horrendous individuals, hadnt been forced to spend every single holiday with them since birth, he would fucking hate every single last one of them.
"Thank God youre here," he said, leaning in to hug his older brother. Cooper clapped a hand against his shoulder and grinned as he pulled away. "You look good, little bro," he said. "Happy. Hell of a lot better than you did around this time last year."
Blaine shrugged. "Being engaged to the love of your life tends to do that to you." His heart have a painful lurch as he remembered how far away from him Kurt was, how there had been tears in both of their eyes as hed left this morning.
Cooper grinned and then glanced nervously over his shoulder, and Blaine instantly tensed. One of the cousins was here, too.
"Fuck," he hissed. "Which one is it?"
Cooper turned back to him. "Megan."
For the second time, Blaine let out a sigh of relief. Megan was the one cousin who wasnt a complete asshole. "Hey, we like her," Blaine said, swatting Coopers arm playfully. Cooper laughed. "I know we do, Im just screwing with you. Come on-"
Just then, the shrill, piercing voice that was the mark of all of the women in their family sounded from behind them.
Even though her voice was annoying, Megan was okay.
"BLAINEY-BEAR!" she shouted, rushing forward and shoving Cooper out of the way to throw her arms around Blaine. Surprised, Blaine stumbled backward, but reciprocated his cousins hug and kissed her cheek.
"Meggy!" he exclaimed. She laughed and pulled away, keeping one arm slung around his neck. "Hows life in New York?"
"Its fantastic."
"And hows your fianc�?" Megan singsonged the last word and waggled her eyebrows.
Blaine laughed lightly, but his heart gave another sad little twinge as he thought of Kurt. He shook Megans arm away, picking up the small carry-on hed packed for the six days hed be in Westerville. He had stuffed it full with sweaters, button-downs, pants, and bow-ties and it was practically bulging, but he really hadnt felt like checking a bag and dealing with the baggage claim rush.
"Hes fantastic," he replied, rolling his bag behind him as he hustled out of the airport with his brother and his cousin.
When they got outside, Blaine looked up at the sky and sighed. He recalled hearing on the radio that morning that there was a snow storm moving across the country and it was expected to hit the Ohio area sometime this week before heading on its way to the East coast. He hated that. If he had been in New York with Kurt, he would probably be jumping up and down like a little kid right now, waking up early every day just to check the sky. He would probably be standing in line at a Duane Reade to buy sleds and then he would take Kurt to Central Park to play in the snow all day.
The only thing Blaine loved more than snow was snow on Christmas. And the only thing he loved more than that was Kurt.
He hoped the storm would hold off for a little while, at least until he got back to Kurt.
--
December 21st
“Rachel, come on,” Kurt huffed, curling his legs underneath him on the couch. His friend was dancing around the apartment while she decorated the tree she had insisted on getting. Kurt would have been perfectly fine with no tree at all, but she had been perstistent, said, “but don't you love the smell of pine needles? Don't you want the apartment to smell like Christmas?”
So Kurt had relented and gone with her to get the stupid thing, had somehow managed to mash the three of them-himself, Rachel, and the tree-into the elevator, and had lugged it all the way back to their apartment while Rachel had chassed and jeted and pirouetted down the hall behind him, singing carols at the top of her lungs.
Now she was dancing all around the room with a gold garland draped over her shoulders.
“Cheer up, Kurt!” she chirped, mid time-step. She reached for his hand and tried to pull him up, but he shrugged her away. She pouted at him, but Kurt knew she was full of shit.
“I really don't feel like cheering up,” he muttered.
Rachel rolled her eyes and soutenu-turned over to the couch, flopping down on the cushion next to him. “Where's your Christmas spirit?”
“I have no Christmas spirit. My Christmas spirit is in Ohio.”
“Oh, you Scrooge.” Rachel smacked him playfully on the arm.
“Ba-humbug,” Kurt replied.
Rachel laughed (even though he hadn't been kidding) and hopped up, maxi-turning across the room back over to the box full of ornaments. “Jack Frost nipped at someone's nose…” she singsonged under her breath, causing Kurt to snarl.
Rachel caught the angry sound and winked at him. “You have got to cheer up,” she said. “It's Christmas. You can't be cranky on Christmas.”
“Ba. Humbug.”
At this, Rachel rolled her eyes reached behind her and clicked on her iPod, and Barbra Streisand's Christmas album flowed out of the speaker it was docked to.
--
It was too early for this.
Or maybe it wasn't. Blaine couldn't believe the Martino women were already screaming at each other. It was nine o'clock in the fucking morning, and his mother's two older sisters, Angela and Mary, were already shrieking at each other in his kitchen. But then again, they were the Martino sisters, so anything was possible.
He was also way too hungover for this. Last night, he and Megan had snuck away to the pool house with a bottle of Prosecco and downed the entire thing. They probably would have sneaked some Bailey's into their eggnog if the champagne thing hadn't worked out, though. It was easier to deal with their cousins when they were intoxicated, something they had discovered when they were about fourteen.
Blaine dropped his head in his hands and screwed his eyes tightly shut, trying to drown out the sounds of his aunt's shrill voices with memories of Kurt. Kurt's eyes, Kurt's smile, Kurt's laugh.
Oh, he missed Kurt. He missed him so much. They had both been pouty when they'd Skyped last night, almost in tears when they had to hang up with each other.
It just figured that now that he finally had Kurt back, forever this time, they would have to be ripped away from each other at Blaine's favorite holiday, a time of year he wanted to share with his fianc� more than anything else. It also figured that he had to spend Christmas with the most obnoxious people in the history of the universe instead.
At that moment, another voice, this one male and booming, permeated the air in the kitchen and Blaine opened his eyes.
“Good MORNING, Blaine and Ma and Aunt Angela!” his cousin Frankie bellowed from the top of the stairs, causing another jolt of pain to shoot through Blaine's brain.
Frankie was only Cooper's age, but already a father of two by two different women. His favorite pastimes were drinking, gambling, not paying his child support, and getting into fights with local teenagers whenever they pointed out the fact that he couldn't seem to hold down a job. He was also a dick. Frankie DAngelo had no redeeming qualities.
It was all Blaine could do to keep from vomiting as Frankie clapped a thick hand down onto his back. “You sleep good last night?” Frankie asked.
“Yes, Frankie,” Blaine muttered. “I slept well.”
Frankie grinned at this, his teeth somehow perfectly, blindingly white. He must still be on his mother's dental insurance. His greasy hair was slicked perfectly back, and Blaine was angry for a second as he realized Frankie must have used his gel. But he was too nauseous to put any energy into it at the moment, so he let it go.
"You got any little baby mamas back in the big city?" Frankie asked, his tone suggestive.
Blaine rolled his eyes. "No, Frankie. I am gay."
"That dont mean your junk dont work, do it?"
Blaine was this close to socking his cousin in the face when Megan hopped down the stairs and did it for him, smacking him on the back of the head. "Shut the fuck up, Frankie," she said as Frankie rubbed the back of his neck.
"Hey!" Aunt Mary said, whipping her head around. "Dont you talk to my son like that!"
Now, Aunt Angela smacked her sister on the arm and said "dont you tell my daughter what to do!"
And so they were screaming at each other again. Frankie winked at them and attempted a moonwalk into the sitting room, but whatever he was doing looked more akin to some kind of seizure than a suave dance move.
Blaine turned to Megan. "How are you not as hungover as I am?"
Megan smiled. "I am. Im just better at hiding it than you are."
Blaine rolled his eyes. "I think Im having a stroke. I think my brain is splitting open and aliens are crawling out of it."
Megan laughed at this, shrill and piercing and Blaine winced.
"You would not shut up about your fianc� last night," she said in a low voice. Blaine looked up. "Really? What did I say?"
Megan widened her eyes and put her chin in her hands, an impression of Blaine that shed gotten to be very good at as they had grown up. "Oh, Kurt," she sighed in a perfect imitation of his voice. "Oh, I miss Kurt! I miss my Kurt so much! Hes so nice and he sings so nice and hes so good at the sex! You know, he gives the best blow-"
"Stop!" A voice said behind them. Blaines mother, Samantha Anderson (n�e Martino) was the only one of her siblings (two older sisters and four older brothers) who didnt suck.
She stood between the cousins and put a hand on both of their shoulders. "I found the empty Prosecco bottle in the woods, you two."
Both Blaine and Megan rushed to explain but Samantha held up a hand and shook her head. "Just be glad it was me and not your father, Blaine," she said, before she walked away to break up her sisters screaming match and start breakfast.
Aunt Mary and Aunt Angela stopped yelling in favor of glaring at each other as they exchanged ingredients for French toast and omelets.
Blaines mother passed him and gently place a hand on his shoulder as she did. "I have a gift for you to take back to Kurt, honey," she said, causing Blaine to sigh sadly. Samantha smiled at him and kissed his cheek. "I know you miss him. But your aunts would have slaughtered me if I hadnt made you come home."
"So you would have let me stay in New York?"
"I would have been glad to," she said, skirting gracefully around the other side of the counter and circling back over to the stove.
Blaine frowned and allowed himself to be lost in thought for a bit. He could have stayed with Kurt. His mother was the only person in his family he didnt want to disappoint, and if he had stayed home, she wouldnt have been terribly upset.
He really didnt have to be here at all.
Well. That sucked.
With a sigh, Blaine dropped his head in his hands again and Megan mussed his curls. "Youre so stuck on that boy," she said with a laugh.
--
December 22nd
Kurt had decided that he wasnt going to celebrate Christmas. Not without Blaine. He would have a grand old time on New Years, when Blaine was back by his side, but Christmas just wasnt happening this year without his fianc�. He had told Blaine this during their Skype call last night, and he had surprisingly agreed to it.
Neither one of them was going to celebrate Christmas without each other, and that was just fine, because what was the point of celebrating such a special holiday at all if they couldnt be together?
Let Rachel take his dad around the city and bake Christmas cookies and wake up early on Christmas morning to open presents. Kurt was going to sleep in.
"I cant believe you are canceling Christmas," Rachel said, taking a bite out of the Santa-shaped cookie she had been frosting.
Kurt shrugged. "Im not canceling Christmas," he replied. "Im just pretending it doesnt exist."
"How?" Rachel asked, exasperated. "How can you? Christmas is everywhere!"
"My Christmas is-"
"In Ohio. I know."
"Besides," Kurt sighed, "Blaine decided not to celebrate either."
Rachel widened her eyes at this. "Blaine? Blaine Anderson? Not celebrating Christmas?"
"Yep. Were not doing Christmas without each other."
"I dont believe that," Rachel shook her head. "I do not believe that Blaine Devon Anderson, who dressed up as Santa Clause for the kids at the childrens hospital last year, who keeps cinnamon candles in your room just so he can smell Christmas all year long, who tried to hang a wreath on our door in September, is not celebrating Christmas."
Again, Kurt shrugged. "We dont want our first Christmas back together to be spent apart. Next year, when were married" (at this, Kurt felt his heart flutter because at this time next year, he and Blaine would be married), "well go all-out. But not this year."
Rachel scowled at him. "You guys are stupid," she said.
Kurt laughed, the first time in days, and flicked her forehead. "And yet you havent moved out."
"I cant pay rent on my own," she replied. She held a menorah-shaped cookie up to Kurt (because she had to represent her Jewish heritage somehow), but he refused it with a shake of his head and headed back into his room. Once inside, he sat down on his bed and turned on his stereo, the sound of show tunes drowning out Rachels Christmas carols.
--
"I cant believe you waited this long to do your shopping," Blaine said, trailing behind Sam in the department store. His friend was leaning over the display case of watches that were too expensive for either of them to afford. They had brought Megan along and she was ogling the diamond earrings on the other side of the counter, her brown eyes wide.
Sam shrugged. "I work best under pressure," he said. Then he turned to Blaine. "I seriously cant believe you are not celebrating Christmas. I mean, you, of all people."
Blaine sighed. "I just dont see the point."
"Last year, you bought a Christmas tree for the choir room. Like, you actually drove to school with it on top of your car and walked down the hallway with it and stood it up in the middle of the choir room."
"I remember, Sam. I was there," Blaine said with an eye roll. "Look, its my favorite holiday, and I dont want to celebrate it with anyone but Kurt, and I cant this year. So Im not."
"What about your family?"
Blaine guffawed loudly, causing the woman behind the counter to whirl around and glare at him. He smiled apologetically at her and then turned back to Sam. "I fuckin hate my family," he replied.
"Hey!"
Both boys turned around to find that Megan had left the diamond earrings and was now standing behind them, her hands on her hips. "I heard that," she said to Blaine. Blaine laughed and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "I hate everyone but you, Meggy," he said. His cousin stuck her tongue out at him and then shrugged his arm away.
"And I hate everyone but you," she replied. "Now come on, theres a massive sale on cashmere upstairs. Sixty percent off!"
She took off in front of them then, making a beeline straight for the escalator. Sam turned to Blaine. "Is she seeing anyone?" he asked.
"Ugh," Blaine snarled, shoving his friend.