THURSDAY - PART II

Bewildered, Blaine looked around the coffee shop and found the few other patrons pretending not to stare at him after the commotion Kurt caused before and while he left. Blaine’s cheeks burned bright red more out of self-disgust than anything else. He made Kurt react like that. He made Kurt walk away in anger. He let everyone down, including himself.

Not wanting to be in the coffee shop any longer than he had to, Blaine stood up on unstable legs and somehow managed to throw his and Kurt’s coffee cups away, both still partially filled with piping hot liquid.

Feeling lost, Blaine wandered to the park where it all began and sat underneath his tree. He felt naked without his guitar, but he laughed humorously to himself when he thought to himself that he didn’t deserve such comfort in the moment. He thought Kurt would be mad at him, but he certainly wasn’t expecting the conversation to end like that. It wasn’t even a conversation, though, Blaine realized. It wasn’t a conversation because he couldn’t find the nerve to speak up when Kurt started questioning him. He just sat there with his mouth hanging open, like an idiot. Blaine dropped his head into his hands and pulled at his hair, trying to make sense of it all.

…

Kurt practically ran to the drama building, thinking that the further he was from the coffee shop, the less his heart would hurt. Somehow, though, it just made things worse.

He had over a half hour to go before his class, so Kurt found a secluded hallway and dropped himself and his satchel onto an empty bench. He was feeling so much at once that his head hurt. He was upset at himself for falling so hard for someone he really didn’t know that well. He was frustrated with Blaine for keeping some sort of relationship with his acting teacher a secret. He was embarrassed for making a scene at the coffee shop. But mostly he was just confused. Kurt could tell Blaine was trying to say something to him, but for someone who usually rambled when he got nervous, the older boy had just clammed up. Kurt kicked himself for not being patient, but he was just so caught off guard by Blaine and Mr. Anderson giggling and being so intimate with each other that he just lashed out at the other boy. He had never been in a relationship before and even though he and Blaine had never made anything official, they were more than just friends. Kurt was scared and his first reaction was to think that Blaine wanted more than just him because Kurt never thought he had much to offer anyone else. There was a large part of Kurt that hoped it was all a misunderstanding, but the small part of him that feared it to be real was just too over-stimulated at the moment.

Just then, Kurt’s phone beeped, signaling he had a new text message.

Kurt. I need to talk to you. Please let me explain. xBlaine

A tear rolled down his cheek as he quickly typed:

Not now

After pressing send, Kurt turned off his phone and slumped where he sat, wishing he could feel something other than miserable.

…

Under the tree, Blaine read Kurt’s text. Torn between respecting Kurt’s request and making things right, Blaine scrolled through his contacts until he landed on Kurt’s name. He pressed the call button and put the phone up to his ear. The call went straight to voicemail, so Blaine did what nervous Blaine did best – he rambled.

“Kurt, it’s me. It’s Blaine. Please call me back. I need to explain myself. I just – I need to talk to you. I promise I’ll leave you alone after if that’s what you want, but you gotta let me – just, I need – god, Kurt, please. I should have told you days ago. It’s just – I…  I’m sorry. I fucked up. I know I fucked up and you deserve so much better than that - so much better than me - but please, I just need to tell you before the concert tonight. Please Kurt. I never w-”

He was cut off by the automated message asking him if he wanted to hear his recording. Blaine ended the call and hoped that Kurt would listen to his message. This was something he needed to do in person or at the very least over the phone. Kurt deserved better than a text, he thought to himself. Kurt deserved better than him.

…

Cooper was in his office, reading through some scenes he wanted to give to his acting students the following week. He kept looking at his watch, wondering how Blaine was doing. Blaine was supposed to be getting coffee with Kurt until around 1:00, so Cooper was trying to wait patiently for his brother to call him and let him know how Kurt took the news. Cooper knew Kurt wouldn’t be upset at Blaine because he was the piano player – in fact, Cooper was pretty sure Kurt didn’t care about that sort of thing. It wasn’t like Blaine was in a boyband, or was famous enough to be hounded by paparazzi or anything. Cooper did think that Kurt would probably be a bit peeved that Blaine waited three days to tell him, but would likely get over it because Blaine was such a good guy and it’s hard to stay mad at him for long, even when he does bone-head things like that. If Kurt was half as crazy about Blaine as Blaine was about Kurt, those two were going to be just fine.

Around 12:45pm, Cooper’s phone rang. He grinned when he saw it was his brother. “Hey there Blainers. You two – ” Cooper’s grin faded as quickly as it sprouted. He listened for a moment to his brother talking, but his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Slow down, B. What did he say?” Cooper’s eyebrows shot straight up. “He said he saw us? Outside the diner?” Nodding as his brother talked over the phone, Cooper tried to piece together what Blaine was saying to make sense of it all when it finally hit him. “Blaine, hold on buddy. Did you get a chance to tell him your name or show him your license like you said you were going to do?” Cooper winced when he heard the answer and he shook his head, realizing the truth. “Okay, B. Listen to me, okay? Kurt still doesn’t know you’re you.” There was a beat before Cooper continued. “He still thinks you’re just Blaine. Look, B, Kurt saw us together, but I don’t think he thinks we’re brothers.” Cooper brought a hand up to his forehead and rubbed at his eyebrows. “Blaine – I think he thinks we’re together.” Beat. “Yes, together together. Like… intimately.” Cooper looked down at his watch as he listened to his brother react poorly to the news. “Blaine, look. I’m not going to be home before you have to leave for the theater. Are you going to be okay? … Just, try and focus on your show. I know it’s going to be hard, but you can do it. I know you can do it. Devon can do it. Okay? Just for a little while, B. Game face, little man. We’ll figure this out though, okay? …. I love you.”

Cooper hung up the phone and put his head in his hands.

…

It didn’t even cross Blaine’s mind that Kurt would think that he was cheating on him with his own brother, of all people. Because why would he want to be with anyone but Kurt? It quickly dawned on him that he and Kurt never quantified their relationship.  In Blaine’s mind, they were exclusive, as there was no one he wanted to be with in the whole world except for Kurt. But, they never talked about exclusivity, or even asked if the other one was in a relationship, let alone wanted to be in a relationship. It was too soon to declare love, but Blaine knew in an instant that he would rather spend time with Kurt than anyone else. He smacked a hand to his forehead and let out a groan. He was so busy feeling these feelings for Kurt that he never took the time to say them out loud. And now after this misunderstanding with Cooper, Blaine feared that Kurt would never talk to him again.

Blaine looked down at his phone, desperately wanting to call Kurt, but knowing the other boy’s phone was likely off and that he would be in class soon. Blaine knew he himself had to get back to Cooper’s apartment to pick up his tux for the concert, as well as his hair gel and contacts. Performance mode meant putting his glasses away and plastering his curls into submission so that none fell over his eyes as he played. He was expected to be polished and come across as a consummate performer because people usually paid big bucks to hear him play.

Forcing himself up off the ground, Blaine didn’t even bother brushing off his pants before wandering off in the direction of his brother’s apartment.

…

Kurt didn’t know how it was possible, but he made it through his Shakespearean Comedy class without incident. He turned in his sketch at the beginning of class and somehow managed to participate in discussion here and there. His mind was mostly on Blaine and he was trying to figure out what to do. He wanted to talk to Blaine again, but was struggling to figure out how and when to do that. He had voice lessons after his Shakespearean Comedy class and then knew he had to get something to eat before the concert. There was no way he was going to sit through some pianist on an empty stomach, especially knowing that he had to sit near Mr. Anderson for attendance purposes. A hungry Kurt was a bitchy Kurt, and Kurt was already in the foulest of moods.

He prayed to a God he didn’t believe in that Blaine would not be sitting near his acting class.

…

Blaine checked his phone periodically throughout the afternoon, willing for it to ring, or even beep with a text from Kurt. When he got to the venue, he hung his garment bag up on a hook in his dressing room and sat down at the vanity. His manager was finally in town (Blaine had managed to convince him he wasn’t needed until the day of the show) and had set a program on the shelf under his mirror. With hesitant hands, he picked it up and ran a hand across the cover, ghosting his fingers over his name and picture. Instead of showing his face, Blaine liked to use the picture of him from behind, leaning over the piano keys with his hands hovering, ready to crash down onto the ivories. The light caught on the gel in his hair and he was playing to an empty auditorium. The picture wasn’t even taken by a professional photographer, but by Cooper who had walked in on him messing around on the piano well before one of his concerts the year prior. Blaine had just finished doing his hair, but wanted to test out the acoustics in the room, so he snuck out onto the stage and was playing “Movin’ Out (Anthony’s Song)” while singing at the top of his lungs. No one but Blaine and Cooper knew that was going on in the picture and that made the cover that much more special to him. It was his way to share what he loved with others, yet still managing to have an inside joke with his brother that Blaine was on the cover of the program; not Devon.

He flipped through the program, quickly scanning his bio to make sure he had thanked all the right people and everything was spelled right. Devon Blaine Anderson’s life and professional information was crammed into a handful of paragraphs for everyone to read but for few to understand. It was the words that were missing that almost meant more than the ones that were actually typed out. Devon Blaine Anderson was well educated and had a list of accolades that would make the average person roll their eyes. Blaine Anderson was broken hearted and scared that the person he was growing to care most for despised him with every fiber of his being. With a heavy sigh, Blaine put the program down and reached for his makeup bag where he dug out his jar of hair gel.

…

Kurt wished he had more time before he had to be in his seat. During dinner, he finally turned his phone back on and forced himself to listen to Blaine’s voicemail. It pained him to hear the other boy begging for him to hear him out. The pleads sounded genuine and it almost broke Kurt’s heart to hear Blaine sound so wounded, but Kurt was still so angry with the situation. Blaine had said he should have told Kurt days ago. Something wasn’t adding up and Kurt could not figure out what going on. And why was Blaine so insistent on speaking to him before the concert?

After throwing his trash away in the dining hall, Kurt ducked into the restroom to check on his hair and collect himself. He wasn’t ready to see Blaine or Mr. Anderson, but he knew that he was going to see them whether he liked it or not.

…

Cooper sat in the front row of the venue, writing down the names of his students as they entered to keep track of who actually showed up and who didn’t. The seats were all together, so it wasn’t hard to see who already had shown up; he was more using his list as a means to kill time. He hadn’t spoken with his brother since earlier in the afternoon, as he knew Blaine always kept his phone off the last couple hours before a performance. It was a way for him to calm down and focus, allowing himself to settle into concert-mode without feeling pressure from last minute phone calls or texts from his parents and representation.

Seats were filling up around him, so he wasn’t surprised when out of the corner of his eye, he saw someone needing to get into his row. Cooper reached forward to shove his satchel under his chair and mumbled an apology before standing up to let the person by.

“Oh hey… Kurt.”

…

Blaine paced back and forth in one of the wings. The house lights had flashed, so there was only five minutes until show time. For the first half of the show, he was going to play some familiar pieces by the likes of Beethoven and Chopin that the audience was already probably familiar with to keep them entertained. He always waited until after intermission to sneak in some more contemporary music. That was his favorite part of the show – allowing himself to share newer music with an audience and hoping they felt it just as much as he did.

He gripped his phone in his hand, wishing it would make a sound. Kurt never called or texted him back and it was going to be too late to tell him the truth by time he stepped out onto the stage. Once Kurt flipped through the program, Blaine hoped he would recognize his face next to his bio and understand that while he is Blaine, he was also Devon – and, more importantly given that afternoon – his acting teacher’s brother. He wished he were the one to tell Kurt instead of cowardly avoiding the subject until it was obviously too late, but there was nothing he could do about it now.

…

“Excuse me,” Kurt said to Mr. Anderson as civilly as he could before stepping over the satchel on the floor and down the aisle. He groaned to himself when he saw his ticket indicated they were seated two chairs apart and the middle person had not arrived yet.

Before he could even sit down, Mr. Anderson was leaning over toward him, “Kurt, I know what you think you saw earlier and I just wanted to say – ”

Kurt’s eyes widened, “Could we not do this now? Please?”

Cooper sighed, “Look, my brother told me what happened –”

Kurt snorted, completely not amused by his acting teacher’s insistence to keep talking. “Not to be rude,” Kurt hissed, “But what the hell does any of this have to do with your brother?”

In an instant, Cooper knew that Blaine never got a chance to clear things up and Kurt was about 60 seconds away from seeing Blaine walk out onto the stage. He scrambled for his program, flipping quickly to Devon Blaine Anderson’s bio and shoving the folded booklet at Kurt. “He wanted to tell you. Please, just – he…  he wanted to tell you.”

Kurt looked down at the program and saw a glimpse of familiar eyes before the house lights fell completely dark. In front of him, the stage curtains parted, revealing a grand piano. Applause sounded in the auditorium as a solitary figure walked on from the wing and crossed to the front of the piano. Though his glasses and curly hair were gone, Kurt’s jaw dropped at the sight of Blaine, standing alone in his crisp tux jacket and pants. There was a small smile on the older boy’s face, but Kurt could see a forlorn look in his eye. This wasn’t just Blaine in serious-mode, this was a heartbroken man who was about to force himself through a piano concert. Kurt’s anger melted away as his brain quickly pieced together the chain of events from this afternoon. He was still upset, but the reality of it all was so much less worse than what Kurt had initially thought. Kurt’s heart pounded in his chest, wishing he could go to the other man and reassure him that all was not lost. Instead, he watched Blaine take a small bow before seating himself on the piano bench.

…

The first half of the concert flew by for Blaine. Though he had sheet music in front of him, he was only able to keep himself together by keeping his head down and plowing through each song as if each note were one step closer to the freedom of intermission where he could retreat to his dressing room instead of being out on display for all to see. Normally he thrived on stage, but that night he felt like he was choking for he knew Kurt was somewhere out there in the audience, probably getting madder and madder with each passing minute.

When he played the final note of his last piece in the first half of his concert, Blaine scrambled to his feet and stood next to the piano. He took a bow and nodded graciously at the audience as they cheered and applauded for him. He bowed even deeper and put a hand to his heart. Finally taking a second to breathe, he saw his brother on the aisle and gave a weak smile. Cooper quickly mouthed He Knows and gave him apologetic smile in return. Blaine gave a nod, hoping his brother understood and then walked off the stage as quickly, but still professionally, as possible. He hoped to get to his dressing room before the first of the tears he knew were coming fell.

…

As soon as Blaine was off stage, Kurt bolted from his seat and started making his way to the aisle, almost tripping over Cooper’s legs.

“Kurt, wait!” Cooper reached up to grab Kurt and steady the boy as his student gracelessly tried to shuffle his way out.

With firm shakes of his head, Kurt muttered, “I have to find him. I just – I have to see him.”

Finally getting his feet free and standing upright, Kurt jogged up the aisle and out to the lobby door, leaving Cooper staring after him.

…

Blaine sat at his vanity with his head in his hands. His heart was racing, partially from the natural high he got after playing the piano in front of a packed house and partially because Kurt knew. He tried to calm himself down, knowing he had about ten minutes before he had to make his way to the stage again.

In the middle of one of his breathing exercises, Blaine heard the door to his dressing room open. He figured it was his manager, but hoped it was his brother. He really needed a hug, or some sort of physical contact, to ground him before his heart beat out of his chest.

Kurt was breathless as he held onto the doorknob. He was so used to seeing Blaine in more casual attire and looking more like a mess and less like he was on his way to his own wedding or something. His heart leapt as Blaine turned around, but then sank when he saw the pained look in the other boy’s eyes.

“Kurt.” His name came out equal parts broken and hopeful as Blaine locked eyes with the younger boy. Tears dripped one by one down Blaine’s cheeks and onto his lapel as his face crumbled. “I’m so sorry, Kurt. I’m so, so, sorry.”

Crossing the room in several quick steps, Kurt approached Blaine just as the pianist was standing up. They wrapped each other in a fierce hug, desperately needing to hold onto the other in proof that this wasn’t over yet. Blaine’s hands splayed widely across Kurt’s back, trying to touch as much of him as he could.

After a few moments they pulled apart, but only far enough to look each other in the eye. Red and puffy hazel eyes stared deep into glassy pools of blues and greens.

Blaine opened his mouth to apologize again, but before any words could come out, he was silenced by Kurt’s lips covering his own. The tension leaked from Blaine’s shoulders as he instinctively wrapped his arms tighter around Kurt and deepened the kiss.

Intermission drew to a close as Kurt and Blaine’s mouths desperately tried to make up for lost time.

By time Devon Anderson was being called back to the stage, both boys knew they were down to their final 24 hours together.