April 30, 2012, 2:49 a.m.
Tell Me, where did I go wrong?: Chapter 8
T - Words: 2,623 - Last Updated: Apr 30, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 8/8 - Created: Apr 26, 2012 - Updated: Apr 30, 2012 699 0 0 0 0
The following week, Kurt flew to Paris leaving me alone. This time also gives me some space to think about everything. Am I ready to start again? Ready to take a chance with my husband?.
Days passed, I am badly missing him even we called each other every night before going to bed. Like in high school our nightly routine before sleeping was to call and check up on each other.
Last night he didn’t call me instead he just texted me earlier yesterday that he’ll not be able to call because they’re staying late and he didn’t want to wake me up.
I visit Rachel and Finn today. Rachel was blooming as ever and Finn was in good shape too.
“So how are your weeks without Kurt?” Rachel questioned as she gives me something to drink.
“Dull.” I said simply.
“Are you still living in your condominium?” Finn asked while rubbing Rachel’s feet as they sit close together.
“You’re missing Kurt. I can see it in you eyes.” Rachel teased. She’s still annoying as ever.
“Honestly, I am fighting the urge to follow him there.” I replied with a laugh. Because it is true I am missing Kurt so bad.
“Dude, I don’t want to interfere with yours and my brothers set up. But I need to ask this, why haven’t you moved back yet?”
“I don’t think I am ready.”
Then Rachel butted in “When will you be Blaine? You two have been going on this arrangement for a year”
I didn’t answered Rachel because she has a point, it’s been a year that were taking things slow and I know deep inside me I want to move back with him I am just afraid to take the risk again.
“You still love my brother?”
“I do, nothing had changed”
“Come home Blaine, Kurt just doesn’t want to rush you but every day when the doorbell rings he’s expecting that it will be you and your coming home to him, and honestly you’re not going to fix this if you two were not going to work this out together as a married couple not like boyfriends.”
“I know we don’t have the right to pry on the two of you, but we’re your family and we want the two of you to be happy. We’re sorry if we are overstepping in your boundaries.” Finn told me with an apologetic smile.
“It’s all right; I really need an advice from a couple like you. I mean I adored your relationship because despite of everything you two ended with each other and looked at you now, you’re having a baby.”
When I came home that night that when reality hits me. I came home to an empty condo I looked at my surroundings it was all dull.
Without my husband my life was empty and boring. Before all of this happened, I always looked at the time where I will go home and see my husband cooking dinner for us. Then after dinner, we’re going to cuddle together in front of the fireplace and talked about how our day went. It’s like all the stress in my body was released every time I looked at my husband. I miss all those times, I miss having my husband beside me.
I thought about what Rachel said to fix this we have to work out as a married couple. And I know in myself I am ready.
And now I realize where I will start..
A month had passed, Kurt came home from Paris. 2 days from now is his birthday and I asked Rachel and Finn together with the New Directions to arrange a surprise party for him.
Kurt’s POV
It was my birthday tomorrow and sadly my husband just called and he was going on a business trip tomorrow. Blaine and I were still taking things slow. Rachel asked me to free my schedule tomorrow so I can celebrate with her and Finn. She was due next month and the family can’t wait for the arrival of the twins. A little bit of jealousy was in me because I also want to have kids too but for now I am satisfied with Blaine and I couldn’t ask for more than that.
Next day…..
Finn and Rachel picked me up at 6pm.
“Where are you two taking me?”
“You’ll see!” Rachel answered excitedly.
“Don’t worry bro, you’re going to enjoy this night.” Finn told me with a big smile.
I can see that these two are up to something. They were excited for my birthday more excited than me.
As soon as we arrive at the place Rachel asked me to cover my eyes.
“Is this really necessary to cover my eyes?” I asked annoyingly.
“Yes, and please stop asking a lot of question I might deliver the twins soon if you don’t stop asking me.”
“Fine. You really use your condition to stop me.”
“Because I know you wouldn’t want me to see deliver the baby in your birthday.”
After 20 steps I heard the opening of the door. I swear if Finn and Rachel are playing pranks on me they’ll be dead after this.
When I begin to pull of the cover in my eyes…..
“Surprise!”
As I opened my eyes, I saw my family and friends beaming at me. I was speechless as they hugged and greeted me. The place was beautifully decorated, there’s a stage where the New Directions will give performances
“Happy Birthday Son” Dad said as he hugged me tight. It’s been a while since I saw my dad and I miss him.
“Thanks dad.”
As the people calmed down and settle into their seat, I felt incompleteness because Blaine isn’t here.
“Who prepared this?” I asked Rachel as we begin to take our sit.
“Me.” A voice answered behind me, when I turned around I am more surprise to see Blaine standing there with a big smile.
“Happy Birthday!” Blaine greeted me as he gives me a tight hug.
“I thought you’re in” I didn’t even finished my sentence when
“I lied, because I wanted to surprise you”. He said sheepishly as he rubs the back of his neck.
The party started; of course New Directions provides the entertainment. I was sitting with the family together with Blaine.
Puck, Artie, Sam and Mike performed their own rendition of train’s If it’s love. When I looked at my husband he was fidgeting like something is bothering him.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Don’t worry about me, enjoy your birthday.” He smiles as we continued to watch the boys.
Then the time for giving messages arrived. Dad was the first one to give the speech.
“Happy birthday son, Looked at you now I can see that you’re not my boy anymore. I am sure that mom will be proud if she’s here with us. I have a lot of doubts as you grow up not just because I have to raise you alone, but because you’re special and I am afraid that people will not treat you the way you should be treated. But all of these worries and fears little by little decreases as I saw you reached your dreams and settled down. I know the reason why God hasn’t take me after the first attack was because He wants me to see you like this, and this time I know I am ready if he’s going to take me because I know you’re in good hands. I love you son, always remember that.”
“I love you too dad” I whispered to him as he went back to his seat beside me.
Then the next one after Dad and Carole was my brother.
“Uh, what do I say again?” Finn asked his self loudly, still the same Finn even now he’s having twins he’s still oblivious to things.
“Happy birthday bro, I am happy to see you happy and I can’t believe were getting old too fast. I know you didn’t want to mention your age, but I really wanted to know. How old are you?” he asked innocently, as the crowd started to laugh. If I could throw my shoes at him I’ll do that. He knows I don’t like talking about getting old.
“I’m 30” I said loudly, as I rolled my eyes on him.
“Yeah, 30 years old meaning there’s still a bright future for you and Blaine. There is something I want to see you do bro.” Finn stated seriously.
“I want to see you to be a dad because I know you’ll make a good one.” He continued as he went down to give me a hug like he did on Dad and Carole’s wedding.
I was touched by Finn’s message. Who knows this brother of mine can give a speech like that?
It was Rachel’s turn and she was beautiful than ever even she’s pregnant.
“Hi my best gay friend, Happy birthday. Looked at us now finally achieving our dreams and I’m happy because we made it together, if there’s someone who really knows me beside my husband of course, it was you. Yes, we had our fights but it was because we’re both competitive and that’s the reason why we are best friend in the first place.”
I gave her a hug as she returned to our table. I looked at my side to see that my husband wasn’t there anymore. And Finn too after helping Rachel went down the stage he never returned to our table.
Then the lights dimmed and the spotlight focused on the stage. All the New Directions boys came out on the stage. I haven’t seen my husband sing for years and if he sings now it will be an enough gift for my birthday. The crowd was watching the boys silently, I saw Blaine smiled at me as he and puck started to play the guitar while the others are backed up. I listened carefully as the strings starts to made sounds then I heard his voice again.
“Forever can never be long enough for me, feel like I’ve had long enough with you
Forget the world now, we won’t let them see but there’s one thing left to do.
Now that the weight has lifted love has surely shifted my way”
I was crying the time they made to the chorus not just because my husband was singing again but there is something inside of me that hopes this signal that Blaine is ready again.
Marry Me Today and every day,
Marry Me If I ever get the nerve to say, Hello in this cafe
Say you will Mm-hmm Say you will Mm-hmm
Promise me you’ll always be
Happy by my side I promise to
Sing to you when all the music dies
And marry me today and everyday
Marry me If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will Mm-hmm say you will Marry me
Mm-hmm
My mind was clouded with everything, why is Blaine singing this to me?
As they finished the song, my husband was left alone at the stage.
“You never looked old to me Kurt, for me you’re still the one I fell in love with in high school. A few people here know what we’ve been through and it’s not easy I admit. Those things taught me a lot and it proves to me my life is incomplete without you. We both learned and that’s what all matters. What is important at the end were still together.”
I was crying already to Blaine’s speech I looked at my side to see Carole and Rachel sniffing. Then he went down stage to see me.
“Hey don’t cry.” He commented as he wipes my tears.
“You mean all of that?” I asked with a sniff.
“Of course, I want us to start again and I hope you’ll do something for me.”
“Anything.” I answered.
Then he kneeled down in front of me and opens a blue velvet box with a ring in it. Before I was the one who proposed to him and I can’t believe he’s doing this after all what I did.
“Marry me again?”
“Of course, always!” I answered with a tearful smile.
I heard the crowd cheered and applauded. When Blaine hugs me I started to cry again.
“Thank you. For giving us another chance” I told him as we pulled back.
“I love you too much to give up on us. It’s just that I needed time to find myself. The Blaine that you love since high school. Don’t cry, were going to start again okay?”
I was not aware that Finn and Rachel start to sing a duet song. A classic song by Eddie Rabbit and Crystal Gale.
This is the wedding song of Dad and Mom. I remembered Mom telling me about this that this is their first dance as a married couple.
“Can I have this dance?” Blaine asked as he offered his hand. With a smile a happily took his hand as we went to the dance floor where other couples are started to dance also.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine I just missed mom. It’s their wedding song.” I told him as we danced sweetly.
“I’m sure she’s proud of you wherever she is.” He reassured me with a smile.
“If she’s here, she’ll love you. Not just because you’re my husband but because you’re a good man.”
We just continued to dance to the slow beat of song. Now Rachel and Finn went down stage to have their moment too after finishing the song.
“We’re going to make our marriage work out together okay? You know what I figured out after all of this.”
“What?” I asked curiously.
“We keep our feelings to ourselves. And we forgot that we started as best friends who frankly told each other about their feelings even it hurts. Because of that we don’t hide anything to each other. Before we became a couple we were best friends who got each other’s back and this marriage is just not about being a husband to each other but being the old us even before we got together.” Blaine says seriously as we looked at each other’s eyes.
I remembered the time I talked to him in the auditorium after the play, the way we adore and give each other another chance because of our mistakes. It’s the same tonight. It looks and feels like this.
“I love you.”
“I love you too Kurt.”
It’s still Blaine in the end even I turned to lookout for somebody my heart will always be with my husband.
That night, Blaine came home; I was surprise to find his bags in the living room.
“You don’t know how many times I’ve cried just to see you go home to me again.”
“I’m not going again I promise. I’ll never leave you alone like that again. What happened between us is a proof that work and business is not important to me if it involves you and my marriage.”
“The marriage comes first before anything.” I said.
“Yes, you and me before anything.” He replied with a smile as he gives me the kiss I’ve been missing since all of this happened.
Even were married for 5 years, Blaine kissing me still take my breath away like in high school. I am always left speechless because until now I can’t believe I am love by a man like him.
I don’t believe in God, but if he really exists I wanted to say thank you for giving me a husband like Blaine.
In the end maybe it all happened for a reason, because fate wants us to find our old selves the one we lose along the way. But one’s things for sure we learned a lot to what happened in our marriage. And these lessons will serve as a reminder that whatever the problem is we should work it out together even it takes a lot of effort and if it means we have to let go of each other for a while.