Blaine’s POV
It was midnight now and I am still awake. I should be tired because of everything but I wasn’t. I get up and stared at the view of New York, all the lights and everything they make NY alive and awake. Then I remembered what brought me here in the first place, because living here is a dream that Kurt and I build together while we are still stuck in Ohio. We want to live here for the reason that we are more accepted here than in our hometown but I guess we were both wrong. Yes, we have enjoyed living here and that’s one of the reasons why we are in this situation. We forgot that relationship comes first before anything, before work and even before pride.
Next Day
I arrived at Ohio and decided to visit the person that I miss the most my mom.
“Hi mom, I don’t know what to do anymore. I am losing in the battle of fighting for my marriage and it’s all been my fault. If I didn’t neglect him he’ll never seek for other man’s attention and love. And I am not sure if we can get through this. Because everything hurts so much.”
I chose to go home instead of staying in a hotel. Dad is base in Chicago so I am not expecting someone at home.
As I arrive home, I looked at my surroundings and it brings me up all the memories of my family.
“Blaine?”
When I turned around to look at the person calling me I saw my dad. Dad and I aren’t in bad terms but aren’t in good terms also. He’s just my boss not my father that’s the way I see our relationship. I am aware that he still avoid talking about my sexuality he still can’t accept that he had a gay son.
“Dad, what are you doing here?” I asked
“I am on a vacation, what’s wrong?” He inquired with concern.
“I thought you’re in Chicago so I went here at home”
“Where’s your husband?”
“I left home dad” That’s all I can say to him when tears starts flowing again. Why can’t I stop crying? Right now I don’t need a boss figure but a father and I hope just this time he’ll be one. I saw dad walked closer to me.
“What?”
“I….” I can’t even force the words to come out. Then I begin to breakdown again.
“Come here.” That’s all he said as he pulled me into a tight hug.
“My marriage is a mess” was all that I can say.
After I calmed down Dad and I sit in front of the fireplace.
“You pushed yourself too hard on work,” my dad told me as he took a sip of his tequila.
I didn’t replied, this is the second time dad and I have a serious chat that doesn’t involve business. The first one was after Sadie Hawkins dance I am also a mess that time like now.
“You don’t have to prove anything to me. I gave you the company because I trust you. I am so proud of you even I am not too showy about it. And I’m sorry if at first I can’t accept your sexuality. I realized that it’s just the two of us after mom passed away. And I know she wants us to get along. I’m sorry son that it takes dad a lot of time” He said as he stares at the fire in front of us.
It is true that dad is not showy in his feelings. He’s a man who keeps his emotions inside of him and the only person who can see him deep inside is my mom.
“You don’t know how long I wanted to hear that. I apologize too for being stubborn since I came out of the closet. I always consider my feelings that you can’t accept me but I didn’t know that you too are going to a rough time accepting me.”
“Remember the time when you were 5 years old and I left home?”
“Yeah, Mom was crying every night after you left. I kept asking her what’s wrong but she always says that even if she tells me what’s going on I’ll never understand because I am too young”.
“Your mom had an affair; we kept it to you because we don’t want you to be affected by our situation.”
“What?” I said suddenly upon hearing dad’s words. Mom had an affair? And they kept it from me for so many years.
“He’s a friend of your mom in the country club”. Dad uttered softly, I can see that he’s still uncomfortable talking about this.
“Why?”
“Like you, I drowned myself to work and I didn’t notice that I’ve left you and your mom behind while in the first place you two are the reason why I am working so hard.”
“How did you forgive mom?” I never knew this side of dad, for me he’s a strong man who can take everything thrown at him.
“I love her too much and because we had a kid. That’s the two reasons why I fought for our marriage. Besides the reason why mom did it was because of me. And I can’t blame her for that.”
“I can’t believe this.”
“That’s the reason I left home and didn’t come home for months. Little by little mom and I start picking up the pieces of our broken relationship and it’s not going to be easy. It’s going to step one of the relationship, knowing and trusting each other. I am angry at your mom but mostly I am angry at myself for letting this happen. We went to marriage counsellors and yes they helped but it always depends on the couple if they’re going to start over or end everything by a divorce. I admit that it’s not easy to trust again, some nights that she comes home late I get paranoid that she’s seeing him again. But I saw all moms’ effort in fixing our marriage she just doesn’t got my trust again, I fall in love to her all over again”.
“Why are you telling me this dad?” I asked him as I looked to him. He was now looking at our family picture that is place in the coffee table. It was taken in one of our vacation. It was before I come out to them things are going smoothly; dad and I have a great Father-Son relationship.
“Because I want you to know there are relationships that have been through that and it’s not worth giving up son. Especially the relationship you and Kurt have. Give it another shot; you two still have a bright future ahead of you. You even don’t have kids yet.”
“Where and how will I start dad?”
“I don’t know son, but you have to find reasons deep inside your heart why you should save your marriage”.
He was right; I need to remember why this marriage is worth saving.