Chapter 11

A sea full of sharks and they all smell blood

.

'Wow,' Blaine breathed when he and Kurt had entered the car, and he was backing out of the driveway. 'I don't think I've been hugged that much in a year, let alone in one single morning.'

His mom and Cooper had been all over him that morning, hugging him every five minutes and then what felt like fifty times just before he and Kurt had left on the insistence that neither his mom or Cooper needed to accompany them.

'They care about you,' Kurt said from the passenger seat. 'It's a good thing.'

'I know, I know. I'm not complaining really. It's just, you'd think I was soldier going off to war or something.'

'Well, maybe you are,' Kurt said thoughtfully.

Blaine raised an eyebrow. 'I'm a soldier?'

'In a way?' Kurt thought for a moment, then a warm smile spread on his face. 'You're a fighter, I know that much.'

'And McKinley's my war,' Blaine mused and added after a moment, 'Actually that's a pretty good metaphor for high school in general, isn't it?'

Kurt snorted in amusement. 'Yeah, I guess it is.' He was silent for a moment or two before turning and looking seriously at Blaine. 'You're gonna win this one, you know.'

Blaine felt his breath catch in his throat, taken aback by Kurt's sudden serious tone. He swallowed. 'Yeah. Yeah, I hope so.'

They didn't talk much for the rest of the journey, and it wasn't until they rolled into the parking lot at McKinley that Blaine realized that he had been gripping the steering wheel rather more tightly than necessary. He breathed out slowly, attempting to soothe himself, but as he and Kurt walked across the lot towards the entrance, the opposite seemed to be happening, his heart seeming to beat harder and faster with every step he took.

They were just outside the doors, when Kurt – much to Blaine's surprise – took Blaine's hand in his and held it tightly. Blaine looked quizzical, but Kurt simply shrugged.

'They're gonna stare at us anyway,' he said.

Blaine nodded silently. His heart was still thumping so hard it hurt, but it felt muted somehow, like it didn't matter as much when Kurt was here, squeezing Blaine's hand tightly and keeping him reminded that he was not alone. Keeping him grounded and determined. He could do this.

Blaine drew a deep breath before he pushed the door open and led the way inside. They made their way through the semi-crowded hallway, and Blaine could sense heads turning and mouths moving, but he did his best to ignore them and kept his head high as they walked.

He was doing well until they reached Kurt's locker and Kurt let go of his hand. It was as if he had lost his anchor. A surge of panic coursed through him, and he once more became fully aware of his pounding heart. The people around him were suddenly extremely loud, as though someone had just maxed out the volume of a video game everyone was part of, and now Blaine was hearing bits of conversation left and right.

'History first lesson, right?'

'I mean, a C? I told you she hates me!'

'Dude, did you see the game last night?'

'Man, English sucks. They oughta give you points for just speaking it.'

'Did you hear? About the guy from the glee club?'

Blaine turned away from the voices and focused every inch of his being on the motions of Kurt's hands as he gathered his things. Biology textbook thrown into his locker. History textbook shoved into his bag. Locker closing with a snap. He concentrated hard on not paying attention to the conversations going on around him. On not checking if people were staring at him. On not caring whether the giggle he just heard had anything to do with him.

'Are you okay?' Kurt asked. He hoisted his bag over his shoulder and frowned in concern.

'Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry,' Blaine said, sounding more frantic than he meant to. He shook his head at himself and started down the hall, tugging Kurt with him. 'Come on, let's go get my stuff.'

Blaine made quick work of collecting the books he needed for his first class of the day, and continued to ignore his fellow students to the best of his ability.

'Do you want me to walk you to class?' Kurt asked.

Blaine slammed his locker shut. 'Kurt, I'm not five. I don't need a babysitter.'

'Okay, sorry.' Kurt winced. 'I'm just trying to toe the line between "supportive" and "patronizing" here.'

Blaine let out a soft sigh. 'No, it's fine, I didn't mean to snap. But it's like you said, isn't it? The bigger a deal I'm seen to be making out of this, the bigger a deal everyone else will make of it.' He looked at Kurt who nodded. 'So it's probably best if we just go about our day as normal.'

'You're right. We should get to class then.' Kurt looked at his watch and readjusted the bag hanging from his shoulder. 'I'll see you in third?'

'If I'm still alive by the end of second, yeah,' Blaine said with a small smile. 'Which I definitely will be,' he added at the look Kurt sent him.

Kurt rewarded him with a bright smile. 'That's the spirit.'

When Blaine stepped into Algebra a few minutes later, most of the class had already arrived, including three fellow glee club members. Blaine halted in front of a table at the front of the class where Tina, Artie and Sam were gathered, heads together and speaking in hushed voices.

'Blaine!' Sam said in an unnaturally high voice when he spotted Blaine. 'Dude, how are you?'

'I'm...' Blaine whispered, staring at each of his friends in turn. He wasn't exactly surprised to see them here – he had after all shared this class with them all year – and he had given some thought to what he would say and do when he saw the first of his friends, but now that the moment was here, he found himself unable to do anything other than stand there like a deer caught in the headlights.

The seat next to Sam was empty, and Blaine spent a long moment looking at it, trying to convince himself to just go over there and sit down as he would have on any other day, but the longer he stood there, the more impossible the prospect seemed.

When he finally did move, he avoided his friends' eyes as he moved right past them and continued until he reached the very last row of tables where he sat down at the empty corner table, giving a great sigh as he did. He wasn't doing well so far. The best thing that could be said was that he hadn't had a panic attack.

'Hey, Blainey,' the boy sitting at the table in front of Blaine jeered, teeth bared in a wide grin, and Blaine winced at the sound of it. Cooper was the only one who ever called him that, and because Blaine knew that he was only being big-brotherly, the only thing he complained about – and half-heartedly so – was the cutesy nature of it, but it struck him now how very girly that nickname sounded.

'Why the scowl?' the boy asked in fake concern. He leaned in confidentially. 'Are you PMS'ing? Is it your time of the month?'

Blaine flushed bright red, and he hated himself for it. He could simply have told his classmate to mind his own business – or even the truth, which was that he hadn't menstruated in years, so the joke kind of missed the mark.

Except it was also entirely on point.

'Oh, ha ha,' a voice said next to Blaine, and Blaine looked up to find Tina standing there, arms folded across her chest and looking very unimpressed. 'Get lost, Mark.'

'Can't.' The boy – Mark, yes that was his name – gave an exaggerated look of apology and tapped the chair he was sitting on. 'This is my seat.'

'Well, then turn around,' Tina said, motioning with her hand. 'sit like a normal person, and mind your own business.'

'Fine, I'll let you have your girl talk,' he said with a roll of his eyes before turning back around to face the blackboard.

Tina sat down next to Blaine who only now noticed that she had brought her things, clearly planning to spend the lesson at his side. He was caught between wanting to thank her and wanting to ask her to leave him alone.

So he ended up saying nothing.

'Hey,' Tina said, voice soft. 'Are you okay?'

'I'm fine, Tina,' Blaine replied, shuffling his notes needlessly.

'What they're saying about you...' she began while Blaine stared at the table, still avoiding her eyes. 'We were talking and...well, I guess it's not really any of our business, but it's just, none of us really know exactly what-'

'Lesson's starting,' Blaine said, relieved to see the teacher walking in.

'What? Oh, right.' Tina glanced to the front of the class where the teacher was settling in. She looked back at Blaine, and Blaine carefully looked ahead. 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. We're all just hoping you're okay.'

'I'm fine,' Blaine whispered, not wishing to catch the teacher's attention. 'Let's just get through this lesson.'

Thankfully Tina took the hint and stayed quiet. A moment later the teacher addressed the class, and the lesson was underway.

Blaine's cheeks were still burning, and he had begun to sweat with the effort of not panicking. He wanted more than anything to be away from this classroom for a moment, to be given the chance to gather himself in private (from what? Why was he the wimp who freaked out over nothing?), but that wasn't an option now that the lesson had just started. Besides, even if he claimed to need the bathroom, everyone would know why he was really running off, and he had to appear as unfazed as possible.

Blaine took a deep breath. At least no one was looking at him now, everyone's attention more or less (Algebra was not everyone's favorite subject) on the teacher as she talked about the weekend's homework. Little by little Blaine managed to rid his body of anxiety until the way Tina kept glancing at him out of the corner of her eye was more annoying than upsetting.

When he finally started paying attention to the teacher's words, he found that the lesson actually served as a nice distraction. This, at least, hadn't changed. It was simply his class as usual, and he was good at this class. Before long he was fully immersed in it, taking notes and watching the teacher in rapt attention. He didn't volunteer any answers, but he did find himself writing most of them down or muttering them under his breath while he listened to his classmates struggle with them.

'Anyone?' the teacher called out when this had gone on for a while. She pointed to the – particularly difficult – problem on the blackboard. No one had yet offered a sufficient solution, and she was looking increasingly like someone who was losing faith in today's youth. 'Come on, people. You have to know this stuff.' She knocked her knuckles on the wooden table as she spoke. 'It's bound to come up in the exam.'

Blaine felt an elbow jab him in the side, and he looked up, startled, to find Tina looking from him to the notebook in front of him, which clearly showed the answer. She raised her eyebrows at him and motioned with her head towards the teacher.

Blaine shook his head.

'No one? Really? Mr. Anderson,' the teacher said and Blaine froze. 'You've been hiding back there long enough. Time to show us what you've got.'

'I- But- I don't-' Blaine spluttered, staring wide-eyed at the piece of chalk in his teacher's hand. He was pretty sure that he had done the calculation correctly, but he was not prepared to go up there in front of anyone. On any other day, yes, he would have done it gladly, but today he would rather keep his head low and not draw any attention.

'You know how to solve it?' the teacher went on, and it occurred to Blaine that she had no idea what today was for Blaine, hadn't been paying attention to the gossip going around the school.

'I- Yes, maybe. I think so, but-'

Next to him Tina whispered, barely audible, 'You're making it worse for yourself.' Blaine looked at her, and she smiled reassuringly. 'It's just like any other day, right?'

Blaine nodded and rose from his seat, because Tina was right. It wouldn't help matters to sit here and stutter like a fool. Anyway, when had he ever been known to deny a teacher's request?

And really, he thought once he was at the blackboard and working his way through the equation, this was not that bad. He had his back turned a lot of the time, and he directed any verbal explanations to his teacher, so he barely even had to look at his classmates' faces. Besides, even though he hated being put on display on a day like this, he was not up here because of who he was, but because of something he could do, and that made all the difference in the world.

At least until he began hearing snickering behind him.

They could be laughing about anything of course. Upon transferring to McKinley, Blaine had quickly learned that every class had one or more students who made a habit of not paying attention and/or being disruptive, so there was a chance that whatever had them so amused didn't have anything to do with him. But today of all days there was also a very high chance that it did, and the thought distracted Blaine.

'So if we multiply B and-' Blaine frowned. 'Wait, that's not right. Divide B...'

Another snicker followed by whispered words that Blaine couldn't make out.

'Quiet, Feeney,' the teacher said sharply. 'Or perhaps you would like to come up here instead?'

'No, Ma'am. Sorry, Ma'am,' the offending student said, but Blaine – still resolutely facing the other way, hand raised against the blackboard – heard amusement rather than regret in his voice.

'Good, then you might want to listen to Mr. Anderson. He actually knows what he's talking about.'

It was as though the teacher had pushed a button. One girl giggled, which seemed to set off people around her and within seconds the laughter had spread to what sounded to Blaine like half the class. Somewhere someone was whispering unintelligible words to another, and this time there was no doubt in Blaine's mind as to who or what they were about.

Blaine let his hand drop to his side, vaguely aware of letting go of the piece of chalk in his hand and it hitting the floor a second later.

'What is so funny?' the teacher demanded, when the scattered snickering persisted. Blaine turned around, wishing – not for the first time in his life – that he had the power of teleportation. 'Well?'

'It's just, you said he,' someone choked out between giggles – Blaine didn't have the presence of mind to note who. 'Which is funny since he's not really, y'know...'

A loud snort from the boy's neighbor interrupted his explanation, and once again it proved contagious as the entire class seemed to erupt into laughter.

Blaine felt nauseous. Two dozen pairs of eyes were looking at him with amusement and making a mockery of his identity, not knowing or caring how much that hurt. He heard in his mind slurs and comments he had been subject to years ago – Weirdo. Freak. You're not even a real boy – and he struggled to distinguish the laughter echoing from his past with the one ringing in his present. They had been laughing then, and they were laughing now. The faces had changed, but they were the same people, really. He might as well never have left Columbus.

Blaine moved on instinct – his mind reduced to a mantra of I can't, I can't, I can't –marching to the back of the class where he began to pick up his things and shoving them into his bag.

'Blaine...' Tina said, but Blaine refused to even look at her.

'Jeez, someone's sensitive,' a boy said somewhere behind Blaine. 'Like a girl one could even say.'

'Oh, for chrissakes, get over it,' Sam spoke up suddenly.

Thinking that Sam was talking to him, Blaine whipped around, but then he saw that Sam was actually glaring around at the rest of the class. He caught Blaine's eye for a moment, and he looked as though he wanted to say something but before he could, Blaine turned away again. He threw the last of his things into his bag and grabbed it, too intent on getting out of here to care that he hadn't closed it properly.

'Mr. Anderson, please, what is going on?' the teacher asked, looking thoroughly confused.

'I'm sorry, Miss,' Blaine mumbled, avoiding her eye as he strode past the rows of tables towards the door. Before he could get there, however, he found his path blocked by Sam.

'Dude, don't,' he said. 'Stay. Don't let a few idiots chase you away. No one in glee club cares if you're a girl.'

Blaine stared at Sam. 'I'm not a girl.'

'Shit, I'm sorry,' Sam said, eyes widening. 'You know what I mean.'

'Yes. I do. Move, please,' Blaine said, and it took all his willpower to make it sound demanding rather than pleading.

Sam held up his hands in what was probably meant to be a calming gesture. 'Look, just-'

But before Sam could get any further, Blaine pushed past him, making straight for the door and ignoring Sam's continued objections. Once he was out in the hallway, he broke into a run, praising himself lucky that no one was out here to see him. He ran without thinking towards the nearest boys' bathroom, and when he rounded a corner, he all but crashed into something large and burly.

'Hey, watch it,' the something – another student – said, offering Blaine a steadying hand to keep him from falling over. He picked up Blaine's schoolbag, which had been dropped in the collision, and handed it back to Blaine. As he did, he seemed to take in Blaine's person properly, and mischief rose in his eyes. 'It's you.'

'Yeah...' Blaine accepted the bag and took a step backwards, unnerved. 'I...I gotta go.'

He stepped around the bigger boy, eyes on the bathroom door a little further down the hall.

'Hey!' the boy called after Blaine, when the latter's hand was on the door. 'Girls are across the hall!'

Blaine ignored him and pushed open the door, grateful to find the bathroom empty. He went to the nearest sink, dropped his bag on the floor, and braced himself against the sink with both hands as he looked at himself in the mirror.

His skin was pale and clammy, and when he lifted his hand to turn on the faucet, he noticed for the first time that he was shaking. Ignoring it, he splashed cold water in his face in the hope that it would shock him out of his panic and enable him to think about something other than giving up, but all it achieved was to heighten of all his senses.

The light in the bathroom too bright suddenly, blinding him. The stench from the urinals ten times as foul as usual, making him nauseous. His heart hammering wildly in his chest. The bitter taste in his mouth which somehow reminded him of hospitals. His breathing labored as though he had just run a mile.

Blaine closed his eyes, willing himself to be okay. This was ridiculous. He had been supposed to hold his head high today, to show them that he was okay with who he was, even if they weren't. Instead, by panicking and running out on a lesson because he couldn't handle a few jokes, he had given them even more reason to think he was a freak. What was wrong with him?

As Blaine stood there, he suddenly heard the bathroom door open, and his heart skipped a beat. His eyes flew open, and he whipped his head around, prepared for the worst, but the boy who had entered seemed as unprepared for this meeting as Blaine did. He was small, younger than Blaine, probably a freshman, and he did not look particularly intimidating.

He stayed quiet and unimposing as he passed Blaine towards the urinals, although he did eye Blaine curiously. Blaine did his best to ignore him and concentrated on keeping his breathing even while the boy did his business. When he had finished at the urinals, he joined Blaine by the sinks and began washing his hands, taking far too long a time for Blaine's liking. Finally he looked over at Blaine.

'Hey, aren't you the one who everyone's-'

Before the boy could finish, Blaine spun around and sped into the nearest stall, where he fell to his knees and vomited into the toilet.

'Are you okay?' the boy asked, sounding concerned. 'Should I get the nurse?'

'Just go,' Blaine rasped, resting his arm against the toilet and pressing his forehead to his arm. 'Leave me alone.'

Blaine reached back with his other arm, found the door and managed to shove it closed, giving him privacy. He could hear the boy shuffle around for a few more moments, but then the bathroom door open and closed, and the room became quiet except for Blaine's own heavy breathing.

Blaine heaved a deep sigh. This day really wasn't off to a great start.

'Blaine? Are you in here?'

Blaine looked up. Kurt? How long had Blaine been sitting here? He remembered his last few hours as though they had happened it a dream. He recalled throwing up and being left alone by that freshman. He recalled flushing the toilet and collapsing against the wall, still with that putrid taste of vomit in his mouth but lacking the energy to move. He recalled later looking at his phone, debating whether he should text Cooper and tell him he was locked in a bathroom stall, unable to talk himself into getting up and going back to his lessons.

But Blaine never had called.

Because if he had, Cooper might have talked some sense into him, and he would have ended up going back out there, and why would he want to do that when he was perfectly comfortable here? Okay, he was sitting on the hard floor of a smelly boys' bathroom with the taste of vomit in his mouth, so he was not exactly comfortable in the strictest sense of the word, but at least his discomfort here was private and predictable. He didn't have to constantly look over his shoulder and wonder what people were thinking or whispering about him, or when the next insult would fly at him.

'Blaine?' There was a knock on the door to Blaine's stall. 'I know you're there, I found your bag out here.'

'Yeah, I'm here,' Blaine said quietly.

'Are you okay? How long have you been in here?'

'Since first period. I kind of... fled.' Blaine felt his face heat up, ashamed of his own weakness. 'What time is it?'

'I- It's... lunch time.' The door rattled a bit as Kurt evidently tried to open it. 'What happened? Can you let me in?'

'No.'

'Why not?'

'Because you're just going to make me go back out there, and I-' Blaine heard his voice break. 'I can't. Kurt, I can't.'

'You can,' Kurt said without pause. 'I know you can.'

'I can't,' Blaine repeated. 'I tried. I tried, and the moment things got hard, I ran out of there like a scared child.'

'You weren't prepared. You will be next time. It'll get easier.' Blaine didn't respond. He didn't much want to imagine the next time an entire class of students broke into laughter about him. 'Just come to lunch with me. It'll just be us and our friends as usual. We already know you have the support of some of them. Finn and Rachel, and remember how I told you about Mike?''

Blaine couldn't think of a response other than I can't, and he was beginning to hate hearing himself say it, so he simply let the silence speak for itself.

'Remember the day we met?' Kurt said then. 'You told me you regretted running.'

'There's a difference between running and being chased away,' Blaine said, repeating words his therapist had once told him back when he had first transferred to Dalton,

'But it felt like running, or you wouldn't have said that.'

'I know but...' Blaine hugged his knees a little tighter. 'I don't think I'm strong enough.'

Blaine expected Kurt's response to be fierce insistence that yes he was and another burst of motivational speech, but instead he heard a sigh and then shuffling on the other side of the door that separated them. After a moment he realized that Kurt was sitting down, the door creaking a little as Kurt leaned against it. Kurt was close enough like this, even through the door, that Blaine could hear the deep, steady rhythm of his breathing.

'I'm not gonna tell you what to do,' Kurt said after a moment had passed, his voice more subdued now than it had been previously. 'Your mom told me everything, and I know why it's hard. Whatever you choose to do, I'll support you, even if it means having you at another school. But...' Kurt paused, and Blaine could tell that he was working up to something. 'If you wanna know what I think... I think that your old school and those guys had you feeling worthless by the end when the truth is that you're priceless. To me you are priceless. I look at you and I see someone who's kind and warm and selfless. I see someone who's handsome and sexy and talented in so many ways, and I feel so, so proud to call you my boyfriend. And I think if you just stayed here and got through this, you might begin to realize that I'm more right than they were, and you could maybe feel better about yourself than ever.'

Kurt finished speaking, and a handful of seconds passed in silence. Then, tired and almost in slow motion, Blaine raised his hand and unlocked the door. He had barely processed what he had done before Kurt was pushing the door open, and he had to shift to avoid getting hit by it.

Kurt crouched down by Blaine's side, and even without looking up and seeing the no doubt caring and concerned expression on Kurt's face, Blaine felt relief wash over him. Everything always seemed a little brighter when Kurt was there, and when Kurt's hand found Blaine's arm and squeezed lightly, the touch seemed to be saying I've got you, and everything is going to be okay now.

'Blaine, look at me,' Kurt said, reaching out a hand towards Blaine's face, but Blaine turned his head away.

'I have vomit breath,' he said.

'You were sick?' Kurt asked, sounding worried and placing a hand on Blaine's forehead.

'I'm not sick, I was just... I don't know, it was stupid.'

'Hey, nothing about any of this is stupid, okay?' Kurt said, and Blaine tried his best to hear and believe him. 'Come on, let's get you cleaned up.'

Kurt stood up and extended a hand to Blaine to help him up. They walked over to the sinks – Blaine a little unsteady on his feet from sitting down for so long – where Blaine washed his face and drank water until the taste of sick in his mouth was completely gone.

In the end when he couldn't draw out the moment any longer, he turned off the faucet, dried himself off and turned to Kurt who stood ready with Blaine's bag extended towards him. Blaine took it, slung it over his shoulder and straightened his back. This time he really did feel a lot like a soldier preparing for battle.

'Alright, let's go.'

The distance between the cafeteria and the bathroom Blaine had found himself in was just about the greatest you could get between any two points in the school, but Blaine still found the trip much too short. When they reached the entrance to the cafeteria, Blaine felt his heart-rate pick up and he almost didn't continue, but reminding himself that there was no real alternative, he gritted his teeth and pushed through it, leading the way inside.

Once inside, Blaine's eyes quickly found what looked like the entire glee club gathered as usual around one of the large tables in the middle of the room. When he and Kurt went to get their food, he kept glancing over at them, but no one seemed yet to have taken note of their arrival. Their friends simply continued to eat and talk amongst themselves, and it all looked startlingly normal. Finally with their food ready, Blaine and Kurt turned towards their targeted table.

A hundred feet. Blaine nominated two empty seats between Tina and Mercedes.

Seventy feet. Tina would be nice. She had been nice in class earlier.

Fifty feet. Rachel looked up and when she saw Blaine and Kurt approaching, she poked Finn in the side, prompting him to look up as well.

Thirty feet. Quinn who sat across from them turned around to see what they were looking at, then Santana and Brittany did the same, and within moments the attention of everyone at the table had been caught.

Ten feet. Rachel leaned into the table and looked around at everyone, mouth forming words that Blaine couldn't hear through all the noise in the cafeteria, but he suspected that they were instructions.

Three feet. Rachel looked up and smiled at Blaine.

Blaine did not stop walking.

'I- what- Blaine!'

Blaine heard Kurt's confused yell after him, but he kept walking until he found a smaller, empty table near the corner of the room. He sat down facing the wall, and when he turned and glanced over towards his friends, he saw Kurt still standing there, shrugging apologetically at them before hurrying towards Blaine.

'You can't avoid them forever,' Kurt said when he sat down opposite Blaine.

'I know' – a small sigh escaped Blaine's lips – 'and I'll see them in glee at the end of the day, but just...let me get through all the rest first.'

'But you have classes with some of them,' Kurt argued. 'Don't you think those might be easier if-'

'Can we just do this my way, please? I just- I need a quiet, normal lunch right now.'

Kurt opened his mouth as though to object, but then he closed it again, swallowing down whatever he had been about to say, and nodded instead. 'Sure, okay.'

There was quiet for a few moments as they both turned their attention to their lunch. Much as Blaine wanted to pretend for a little while that this was a normal day, he couldn't readily think of a topic that didn't have to do with the situations he found himself in.

'So did you hear that Mr. Hayes might be throwing us a pop quiz today?' Kurt said then.

'Really?' Blaine said, jumping on the topic and reacting with more shock than he really felt. 'I knew I should have done the homework more thoroughly.'

'Oh, I think you'll be fine Mr. I Take French With A Bunch Of Seniors.'

Blaine rolled his eyes. 'That was because of the Dalton transfer, and you know it. Doesn't mean I'm actually any good.'

'Oh, so you mean you haven't been getting straight A's all year?' Kurt asked, feigning confusion.

'Well...' Blaine said, beaten. Kurt laughed, and Blaine retaliated by throwing a french fry at him, causing Kurt to squeak and throw up his hands in protection.

'Very mature, Blaine,' Kurt said when he had recovered. He rolled his eyes fondly. 'But fine, we can quiz each other now if you...'

Kurt trailed off, eyes fixed at a point behind Blaine, who froze mid-grin.

'What?'

Kurt looked back at Blaine, slightly wide-eyed.

'Just ignore them, okay?'

'What? Who?' Blaine asked and was about to look around, when a voice drawled in his ear.

'Well, hey there, ladies.' There was his answer.

'JT,' Blaine said. He watched as his old "friend" straddled the chair next to him, and out of the corner of his eye he sensed two other guys doing the same on the other side of the table, but his eyes were fixed on JT.

'So...' JT made a sudden movement with his hand, and Blaine flinched, but all JT did was to reach across the table and steal one of Blaine's french fries. He tapped Blaine's shoulder lightly with the back of his hand. 'How's being a freak working out for you?'

'Ignore them,' Blaine heard Kurt muttering, and with great effort Blaine tore his gaze away from JT and back to his food. Unfortunately he had rather lost his appetite, which meant that there was nothing to distract him when JT started speaking again, this time directing his words to his friends across the table.

'You know, I never would have guessed for this one to turn out to be a tranny. I remember when she used to run around in these cute little dresses, and her hair would be all long and braided or in pigtails.' Blaine felt himself go red all the way up to his ears. 'It was adorable, I tell you. Adorable.'

JT and his friends laughed loudly. Blaine wanted to scream or cry or something. That there was someone in the school who knew him from before he had come out, back when he had still been trying so hard to fit in as a girl, was humiliating and it made him feel oddly like a fraud.

'And look at her now,' JT continued. 'A sad imitation of a man.'

'And a fag no less,' one of his buddies added.

Blaine's grip on his fork was so tight his hand was shaking, and he turned his head back towards JT, jaw set in anger.

'Something to say?' JT said, raising an almost bored eyebrow.

'Yes,' Blaine said, looking JT straight in the eye. 'Go away. No one cares what you have to say.'

'Oh, I think you'll find a whole school who disagrees with you there,' JT replied, his voice as pleasant as his smile. 'Had a fun first day back?'

'I heard he, like, burst into tears and ran out of class this morning,' one of the guys on Blaine's other side said, and Blaine wished he could make himself look indignant rather than embarrassed. He had not cried.

Kurt, meanwhile, looked more annoyed than anything.

'Why don't you just leave us alone?' he said, his words commanding despite forming a question.

'Oh, but we like it here,' JT said. 'Don't we boys?'

'Yeah, why would we wanna leave?' the one of JT's buddies closest to Kurt said. 'We've got great company... Food...' He reached for Kurt's plate, but Kurt slapped his hand hard, and the guy's face fell dramatically. 'Now, that's just rude.'

'Is there a problem, gentlemen?' a new voice said, and they all looked up, surprised to see Coach Beiste there, her eyes wandering from one face to the next and narrowing when they landed on JT.

'No, no problem, Coach,' he said, his face the very picture of innocence. 'I was just catching up with my old buddy here.' JT gave Blaine a jovial pat on the back. 'Blaine and I go way back.'

'Hm, I find that hard to believe.' Coach Beiste looked at Blaine who shifted in his seat. 'Blaine?'

'We do go back a long way,' he replied quietly, and JT smirked in satisfaction.

'There, see? Nothing to-'

'But frankly he was harassing me about it,' Blaine said, keeping his eyes on Coach Beiste lest he start to laugh at the shocked look on JT's face. 'He was being transphobic, homophobic and a bully. We asked him to leave, but he refused. And the same thing goes for his friends over there, by the way.' Blaine thought for a moment. 'Oh, and JT stole some of my food.'

Stunned silence followed Blaine's speech. JT's mouth hung open as he stared at Blaine, and the other two looked equally shocked. Clearly they weren't used to being called out in front of a teacher. Meanwhile, Kurt looked like he was on the verge of laughter.

'Right,' Coach Beiste said. She pointed at JT's friends. 'You two, I'm letting you off with a warning provided you're outta here in five seconds.' They didn't need telling twice, and when they were gone, Coach Beiste turned again to JT. 'Thompson: Up, you're coming with me.'

'Anderson, you little shit,' JT mouthed at Blaine, looking angry for the first time that Blaine had seen, but Blaine simply smiled amicably.

'Now, Thompson.'

Defeated, JT threw one last dirty look at Blaine before he did as told and stood up.

'I've had it with you,' Coach Beiste said loudly as she marched JT out, and to Blaine's satisfaction they were attracting a lot of attention from other students. 'This makes three times in two weeks. You just lost yourself your starting position on Friday.'

Blaine turned back to Kurt and smirked while they listened to JT's fading protests. Then, suddenly ravenous, he picked up a french fry from his plate, grinning widely.

'Now, where were we? French?'

Blaine's afternoon classes turned out to be a bit of a mixed bag.

French was first after lunch, and it quickly became apparent that Blaine would have to get used to people's stares unless he wanted to run out of this lesson too. Many did try to be subtle about it, but even then not a minute passed without Blaine feeling someone's eyes on him. He wouldn't have minded so much if he hadn't known exactly what they were looking for. It made it difficult for him to concentrate as he got more and more self-conscious and his skin began to crawl with dysphoria.

Was the shape of his face still more feminine than masculine? Were his lips more full than they ought to be? His hands were kind of small, weren't they? What about his chest? Perhaps he shouldn't have let Kurt talk him out of wearing two binders this morning, and it might have been wise not to have shaven either.

At least no one did more than stare. There was no laughter, teasing or snide comments. What the exact reason for that was – Kurt's presence maybe, the students being older and probably more mature than Blaine's Algebra class, or perhaps Blaine's own increased confidence after getting JT in trouble – Blaine wasn't sure. All he knew was that when the bell signaled the end of the lesson, he was able to breathe a sigh of relief and know that he had made it through one lesson alive.

One more to go and then glee club.

'Right,' Kurt said as they stood at Blaine's locker. 'Who's in Geography with you again?'

'Just Tina,' Blaine said. 'Well, and another twenty-five kids staring at me like I just landed from Mars. Or maybe I should say Venus,' he added, only slightly bitter.

'I'm sorry about that,' Kurt said, grimacing in sympathy. 'People suck.'

'It's okay, I guess I can understand why people are curious. I just wish it didn't make me feel so...' Blaine trailed off with a shiver, letting his sentence hang. Kurt touched his arm gently.

'You'll be okay, right?'

'Yeah,' Blaine replied quickly, then added with more certainty, 'Yeah, I'll be fine.'

'Good.' Kurt smiled warmly. 'Then I'll see you here by your locker after, and we'll walk to glee together.'

Blaine nodded, and with one last squeeze of each other's hand, they parted for their respective classes.

When Blaine entered the Geography classroom, his eyes wandered for a moment, stopping abruptly when they found Tina. She was sitting at a different table than usual, a little further back, and it occurred to Blaine that she had probably done that for him. When she looked up after a second or two, her and Blaine's eyes met, and Blaine's mind struggled to decide on a course of action. He chewed his lip for what felt like minutes but was probably only a few seconds until he forced his anxiety aside and walked with sure steps towards Tina's table.

'Hey,' he said, managing to sound relatively normal, if weirdly out of breath. 'This seat taken?'

'No,' Tina said, looking happily surprised as she moved her bag from the chair next to her. 'Not at all, feel free.'

'Thanks.'

Blaine sat down and began to take his things out, trying and failing not to feel awkward, considering the incident that morning and again at lunch. Tina, however, didn't seem bothered at all as she babbled about anything and everything, evidently pretending that today was just like any other day.

The lesson itself went as smoothly as Blaine could have hoped, along the same lines as the previous one, and by the end he almost felt used to the stares.

'You're coming to glee club, right?' Tina said when the bell had rung. 'Rory's been standing in for you during rehearsal, and, well, the rap really doesn't work in an Irish accent.'

Blaine snorted as he stood and swung his bag over his shoulder. 'Yeah, I'm coming. But I'm meeting up with Kurt first, so I'll just, I'll see you in there in ten?'

'Yeah, sure,' Tina said, waving Blaine off with a smile.

Moving through the hallways towards his locker, Blaine felt his heart-rate, stable since Coach Beiste had hauled JT out of the cafeteria, begin to pick up again. He was about to see his friends – really properly see them – for the first time since the truth had come out, and this felt different from any lesson he had attended today. The reactions of these fourteen people, how they would treat him going forward, was more important to him than the opinions and stares of a thousand anonymous students put together.

And now was the time to find out what they were.

Or it would be ten minutes from now, when Kurt had given him that last minute pep talk and Blaine had gathered the courage to actually go through with it.

When Blaine neared his locker, the hallways were already crowded with people rushing to get home, but Kurt didn't seem to have arrived yet. Of course Blaine had practically run out of class the moment the bell had rung, so he was early. Figuring that Kurt would be there soon enough, he went ahead and opened his locker, humming to himself while he sorted his things.

A buzz in his pocket interrupted Blaine before he was done, and he pulled out his phone expecting a message from his mom or dad, or maybe Cooper. He frowned when he saw that it was from Sebastian.

Hey, so are you still mad at me?

Blaine stared at the message. Had he not been clear the last time they had spoken? Can you give me a reason why I shouldn't be? he texted back, barely stopping himself from giving an irritated sigh.

Blaine glanced at the time on his phone, wondering vaguely where Kurt was. The crowd here was starting to thin, most people already on their way home now. Kurt must be stopping by his own locker on the way here, Blaine reasoned just as Sebastian's reply came through.

I said I was sorry.

Blaine rolled his eyes and typed out the first words that occurred to him, Oh you're SORRY? Well, that just makes it all better, and hit send before he could wonder if his reply was too snarky. He sorted the last of his things and slammed his locker shut just as his phone buzzed once more.

...I guess there's no chance that wasn't sarcasm?

Blaine stared at the message, trying to think of words to make Sebastian understand that he wanted nothing to do with him, but after a moment he simply navigated away from his messages instead, deciding that he did not owe it to Sebastian to keep replying. It occurred to Blaine then that a mere two or three months ago, coming to that decision would have been much more difficult, and the idea that it was so easy now felt strangely empowering.

Blaine was just in the process of pocketing his phone when he heard footsteps approaching him, and he looked up wearing a cheerful smile. Maybe he wouldn't need the pep talk after all.

'Hey Kurt, I-'

Except the person Blaine was faced with was not Kurt at all, nor was it any of his friends. It wasn't even just one person.

It was JT with his two friends from lunch, and none of them looked at all pleased.