Part four

Christmas at the Anderson household was looking to be a considerably quieter affair than Thanksgiving had been. Apart from Cooper, the only guest was going to be Blaine's aunt Joy, his mother's younger sister, and although she was capable of taking up as much metaphorical space as half his father's family put together, Blaine liked her much more. His maternal grandmother had also been invited, but she had declined with the explanation that her (much younger) boyfriend had invited her on a cruise that she couldn't possibly say no to. At the news Blaine's mother had simply shaken her head fondly and mumbled, 'Good for her.'

First to arrive on Wednesday, three days before Christmas, was Cooper. It was nearly midday and Blaine and his dad were setting up for lunch, when the doorbell rang. Skipping into the hall and opening the front door, Blaine saw Cooper's face light up in a bright smile as though the brothers hadn't seen each other for months, and he greeted Blaine with a hearty, 'Blainey!'

'I'm getting a little old for that nickname, don't you think?' Blaine complained, only half-serious, as Cooper stepped inside and dropped his bags on the floor.

'Would you rather I go with "Squirt"?' Cooper asked as he hung up his jacket, and though Blaine couldn't see his face, he could hear the smirk in Cooper's voice.

'No, no. Blainey's fine,' Blaine said quickly and Cooper laughed.

'Thought so,' Cooper said as he pulled Blaine into a hug, warm despite Cooper's still cold body from the freezing temperatures outside. 'Besides, you'll never be too old for nicknames as far as I'm concerned, cause you'll always be my little brother.' Cooper was going for light-hearted, but Blaine didn't miss the slight emotion in his brother's voice.

'Aw, look at you, getting all sentimental on me,' Blaine teased. He knew that his brother had a big heart, but Cooper rarely made it too obvious, preferring action over words.

'Shut up,' Cooper huffed out. 'I'm preparing for an audition.'

'Right. Of course you are.' Blaine sent his brother an exaggerated wink.

Cooper snorted. 'Little bastard. Anyway, it's Christmas – I'm allowed to be a little sentimental.'

'Wasn't complaining.' Blaine threw up his hands in mock surrender, before gesturing with his head in the direction of the kitchen. 'Come on, Mr. Actor, we're having lunch. We can bring up your stuff later.'

'We? Who's we? You and Dad?' Cooper asked, clearly surprised at the news that the two of them were spending time together, because of course last he knew, Blaine had barely been willing to speak to his dad.

Blaine smiled brightly. 'Yep. We talked.'

'Indeed we did.' The sound of their dad's voice from the kitchen doorway made both brothers turn around as he continued, speaking almost casually. 'Turns out I'm an idiot.' He shook his head slightly before looking over at Cooper. 'Hi, son. Good to see you.'

As his dad and Cooper hugged hello, Blaine said in a loud whisper, 'Careful what you say, Dad. Coop's feeling emotional today. I'm afraid he's gonna start crying next.'

'You little-' Blaine ducked around them and into the kitchen before Cooper could get to him, but he heard Cooper yell after him, 'That's it. No present for you this year!'

The three of them spent the afternoon together, watching Christmas specials on TV and catching up on each other's lives. When New Directions' Christmas special came on, a hush fell over the room as all conversation died and Blaine's dad and Cooper watched the show with interest. Blaine, meanwhile, alternated between cringing as he watched himself on TV and feeling overwhelmed that he was on TV. When it was over, Blaine's dad practically showered the whole thing in praise. Blaine suspected his dad was feeling guilty for the past few years and was overcompensating a bit as a result – not that Blaine was complaining.

Cooper, too, was impressed, it seemed.

'That was really good,' he said as the program ended and went to commercials, and while it really did sound like he meant it, Blaine saw him bite his lip as though to stop himself from saying something.

Blaine chuckled. 'Go on then.'

'Well, you did miss a step or two during Let It Snow,' Cooper said, clearly relieved to get it out of his system. 'But it really was great. You and Kurt should definitely get your own show. It'd be fantastic.'

Blaine snorted and rolled his eyes fondly. 'Alright, lay it on thick, why don't you.'

Around three in the afternoon they heard the front door slam and Blaine's mother's voice greeting them from the hallway. A few moments later she poked her head into the living room.

'Merry Christmas, guys! I'm officially on holiday. Look.' She held up her phone. 'Phone's off and everything.'

'Very impressive, dear,' Blaine's dad said as he stood to greet his wife with a chaste kiss.

Meanwhile Cooper spoke low in Blaine's ear, his voice quivering amusement. 'How much do you wanna bet that we catch her in the act at least once before the week is out?'

Blaine giggled. 'I am so not taking that bet. Do you think I like losing money?'

'Is Joy not here yet?' Blaine's mother asked before Cooper could answer, and they both looked up and deliberately not at each other lest they give each other the urge to laugh.

'Actually we were just wondering where she were,' Cooper said. 'We were debating whether she got lost on the way or just got distracted by all the pretty lights.'

The boys all laughed openly, while Blaine's mother pursed her lips though they quirked a little in amusement. Before she could decide whether or not to reprimand her son, however, the doorbell rang and they all milled into the hall to greet the new guest.

Physically it was quite obvious that Joy was related to Blaine's mother – they had the same build, same thick, dark hair and similar facial features – but that was pretty much where the similarities ended. Where Joy was bubbly and talkative and a big fan of physical affection, Blaine's mother tended to be a lot more reserved, although the latter often loosened up a little around her sister, which Blaine secretly appreciated.

Joy deposited her many, many bags on the floor before greeting each of them in turn with a warm hug.

'And Blaine,' she said, reaching him last. She took half a step back and surveyed him for a moment. 'My how you've grown. I remember when you were a little girl in pigtails.'

'Uh...' Blaine was unsure how to respond as he felt the familiar rushing sensation in his stomach that always came whenever someone felt it necessary to point out that they used to think of him as a girl. Around him smiles had turned stiff and his mother looked like she was gearing up to say something.

'Joy,' she said warningly.

'You really were such a cute little thing,' Joy went on, not hearing her sister and seemingly lost in nostalgia.

'Yeah, well. Things change,' Blaine said a little stiffly. He forced a smile. His aunt didn't mean anything by it after all.

'Mm... Don't they just?' She smiled affectionately at him for a few more seconds, before shaking herself out of it and turning to her sister. 'Mom sends her love, by the way – and lots of guilt presents it seems.' Joy gestured at the small pile of bags on the floor. 'She's sorry she couldn't make it.'

'I wouldn't be if I had a man like Tom chasing me around,' Blaine's mother replied, happy of the change of subject and sighing dreamily.

'Hey, I'm standing right here, you know,' Blaine's dad interjected, an affronted look on his face.

'And you're very handsome too, dear,' Blaine's mother assured him with a gentle pat on his chest, and the whole room erupted into laughter at the look of mock confusion and hurt on her husband's face.

It occurred to Blaine that he so rarely saw his parents together that he struggled to really see them as such; as his parents rather than as his mother on one hand and his father on the other – his parents, yes, but separately so. Sometimes he almost forgot that they were in fact married and it was kind of nice being reminded now that they still very much loved and trusted each other.

In fact over the next couple of days as Christmas Eve approached, Blaine thought he might just agree with Rachel and her Best. Christmas. Ever. idea. He was out and transitioning. He had Kurt. Cooper was Cooper. His mother wasn't working. (His mother wasn't cooking.) His father finally felt like his dad again. All in all Blaine had a hard time imagining what could possibly make this Christmas any better.

Assuming of course that he didn't take his aunt into consideration.

Joy as a house guest was very different from his dad's side of the family. She brought color and, well, joy to the house in a way even the ten Thanksgiving guests hadn't quite managed (before or after the day had turned sour), and Blaine really did like her a lot. However, he also thought that she could do with a thorough round of sensitivity training, because while Blaine was sure that his aunt wasn't being purposely insensitive, she did manage to make them all uncomfortable a few times during the day and then again on the first night that they all had dinner together.

'You know, Blaine,' she said not long after they had all sat down. 'I'm very interested to hear more about your transition. It's all very fascinating to me.'

Blaine tried hard not to let his frown show. His transition was a lot of things, including difficult and necessary and wonderful and frustrating, but he had never thought of it as fascinating. However, he kept his face perfectly impassive, steeling himself for an onslaught of questions, because at least she wasn't looking to fix him.

His mother had less patience, however, though her voice was light, if a little tense, as she spoke. 'He's not some freak show of a zoo animal that you get to gawk at, Joy.'

Joy rolled her eyes fondly. 'That wasn't what I was saying, Gracie. I have gay friends, so I completely get it. It's not something to be ashamed of.' She patted Blaine's arm lightly, while Blaine stared at her in confusion. What did having gay friends have to do with understanding trans issues? 'I'm just interested to know what the whole process is like.'

So Blaine explained about his therapist in Columbus, about getting the okay to start hormone treatment and about the changes that had happened both physically and mentally since then (although he left out the parts that had to do with his nether regions and his sex drive – some things were just too private to share with family over dinner).

'Amazing,' Joy exclaimed when Blaine finished. 'Who would have thought that when Amber was two and she danced around in that princess dress, that this was what was inside her.'

Blaine blinked and his stomach turned into knots. He didn't want to say anything, because he knew that his aunt respected who he was now, but he couldn't help but be annoyed at the casual way she referenced his past as a "girl".

Blaine's mother, meanwhile, was a lot more direct. 'Joy,' she said sternly. 'Name. Pronouns.'

Joy turned to her sister, confused and maybe a little bit embarrassed. 'Well, he was "she" and "Amber" then, wasn't he?'

'Yes, but...' Blaine's mother closed her eyes for a moment as though she just couldn't get over how slow her sister was. 'It's actually quite upsetting for him to hear his birth name no matter what part of his life you're referring to, so we've decided that it's just always going to be "Blaine" and "he". He was always Blaine even if none of us knew it at the time.'

Blaine caught his mother's eye in a rare tender moment and Blaine's heart wanted to burst in his chest. She might have shortcomings as a mother – she was distant, constantly busy with work and often quite businesslike in her interactions with her sons – but she understood Blaine's gender issues in a way that his dad was only really beginning to, and it was moments of protectiveness like these that made Blaine truly appreciate that he was loved and wanted by his mother.

The rest of the dinner went smoothly as the conversation drifted to other, less sensitive subjects. Cooper entertained them all by talking about what was coming up with his commercial and updating them on the auditions he had been going to, while his dad mentioned his possible promotion, going off on a tangent about what he and his retiring boss used to get up to in their younger days.

Joy only spoke directly to Blaine again when they had finished eating and were clearing the table.

'I must say, Blaine, you have grown up to become a fine young man,' she said, clapping him on the shoulder, and Blaine got the impression that she wanted to make up for her earlier mistake. 'Some day you are going to make a girl very, very happy. She'll be lucky to have you.'

Blaine chuckled and he almost felt bad for correcting her. She was trying so hard. 'Thank you, but actually I'm gay. I have a boyfriend.'

Joy's mouth fell open in surprise. 'You're...? Boyfriend? But why wouldn't you just stay a girl then?'

Before Blaine could respond with anything more than a look of exasperation, Blaine's dad, who had been following the conversation from a few feet away, cut in eagerly. 'Wait, I can answer that. I know this one.'

Blaine couldn't hold back the short loud laugh that escaped his throat. It felt good to have his family back.

Blaine went to bed on Christmas Eve with a huge smile on his face and it was still there when he woke early the next morning. He rolled over to look at the time on his alarm clock. 5:26 – much too early for anyone else to be up. He briefly entertained the notion of going back to sleep, but then his stomach did a funny swoop as he remembered; Christmas morning – presents and he knew it would be impossible to fall asleep again. Blaine felt almost like he was a child again, except with none of the anxiety that had followed him around and with all of the excitement that came with being a kid on Christmas morning and knowing there were presents and guaranteed family breakfast in the near future. He lay there for a minute or two, letting the feeling wash over him, before he kicked off the covers and began to get dressed.

The house was quiet as Blaine stepped out of his room and looked down the hall, taking in the three closed bedroom doors. He had half a mind to burst into his parents' bedroom and threaten to throw a temper tantrum unless they got up right now, but he was pretty sure that wouldn't be appreciated so he restrained himself. Instead he tiptoed downstairs to the kitchen where he started making coffee, before taking it to the living room and turning on the TV, flipping the channels for a while before settling on cartoons (he was channeling his six-year-old self after all). Every once in a while he would sneak a glance over at the tree in the corner of the living room and the presents underneath, before quickly looking away again as though he was afraid of getting caught.

After an hour or so Blaine's phone buzzed with a text message from Kurt.

Merry Christmas, honey :) jsyk I'm wearing your presents right now.

Blaine's phone buzzed again a second later, this time with a photo of Kurt, and Blaine was so fixated on Kurt himself (his boyfriend was hot, okay?) that it took him a moment to register that Kurt was indeed wearing both the gum-wrapper ring and the designer scarf that Blaine had managed to track down and buy at a reasonable price.

Beautiful. :) Merry Christmas, Kurt. (I'm wearing yours too but you'll forgive me if I don't send photo proof right now ;) )

Blaine could just imagine stripping off his clothes to take a picture, only to have Joy come downstairs at just the wrong moment. He shuddered at the thought of all the new questions that might pop up in his aunt's mind should that ever happen.

:'( Well, as long as I get to see it in person at some point...!

Blaine smiled as he began to type, Oh you will, I promise, and his mind flooded with images of Kurt naked under him on the bed, hard and panting and- Blaine shook his head and tried to pull his mind out of the gutter, reminding himself that It's Christmas. Wholesome family time. Baby Jesus. Behave. As he struggled against his hormones he heard a door open and close upstairs and a moment later someone walking down the stairs. He shook his head one last time, forcing the last unsavory thoughts away as he finished the text. I have to go. Family waking up. Talk later.

Can't wait ;) came Kurt's reply barely ten seconds later, and Blaine grinned as he put away his phone.

'Morning!' his aunt called from the hall, and Blaine could hear the smile in her voice as she poked her head into the living room, saying in a sing-song voice, 'Merry Christmas.'

'Merry Christmas,' Blaine replied, his smile bright and genuine as he twisted on the couch to face her. She looked tired but happy, and Blaine gestured in the direction of the kitchen as he told her, 'There's coffee in the pot if you want any.'

'Great. Thank you,' she said gratefully, stifling a yawn as she slipped away into the kitchen. Blaine heard her move around for a few minutes before she joined him in the living room, clutching a cup of coffee. Ten minutes later Blaine's mother came downstairs, greeting them with a cheery 'Merry Christmas!' and his dad came shortly after that.

'Just Cooper left then,' his mother declared as his dad settled into his favorite armchair. She chuckled. 'Big surprise there.' The rest of them smiled knowingly. For all his energy during the day, Cooper could be a challenge to get out of bed sometimes.

'Remember when you were little, Blaine?' Blaine's dad commented, smiling in fond amusement and explaining to the rest, 'He used to have a rule where if Cooper wasn't awake by seven on Christmas morning, Blaine would go wake him up himself. And quite violently so.'

As the adults chortled, Blaine grinned sheepishly. 'What, I like Christmas, okay? I don't know what he thinks he's doing sleeping it away like that.'

'I know. Past seven,' his dad teased. 'Crazy.' Blaine stuck his tongue out at him.

'So, Blaine,' Joy said, clapping his leg. 'Is that rule still in effect? It's... ' She looked at her watch. '7:14.'

'As much as I'd like to, I don't think he would find me jumping on top of him quite so amusing now as he did then.'

'Right. I see,' his aunt said seriously, a slight quiver of her lips the only thing betraying her. 'Because that is obviously the only way to wake someone up.'

'Well yeah. Obviously.' Blaine grinned.

Lucky for Blaine and his six-year-old sense of patience (or lack thereof), it was only fifteen more minutes before Cooper bounced into the living room, wide awake and exclaiming, like an over-excited child, 'Presents! Yay! What are we waiting for?'

Blaine rolled his eyes, though it was fond rather than annoyed and he stood to join his brother by the tree (because, yes, presents). 'Honestly, and you call me "little".' At least Blaine was able to contain himself somewhat.

'Well, you are. Look at you,' Cooper said, grinning as he puffed himself up to his full height and used his hand to point out Blaine's relative shortness. 'You're tiny.'

'I am not. You're just stupidly tall.' Blaine pouted, adding after a moment's thought, 'I could still grow.'

Cooper opened his mouth, possibly to argue, but his dad, probably wanting to avoid a longer back-and-forth of brotherly teasing, butted in, 'Why don't you boys just get started on the presents?'

So they did, and soon the living room floor was littered in wrapping paper and stray presents. Blaine was sitting on the floor next to the tree, grabbing presents and handing them to their rightful owners. Next to him was a neat pile of already opened presents; books, CDs, vinyls, DVDs and clothes. Cooper had decided to approach the situation with some dignity after all and was sitting calmly (well, mostly – it wasCooper) in his dad's chair, while its owner bounced around the room with his camera, taking pictures every few seconds and 'Oooh'-ing every time there was a present for him. Joy was chatting loudly and cheerfully at every possible moment, and Blaine's mother watched the whole thing with a bemused expression and a mild air of "at least this is only once a year."

When there was nothing but pine needles left under the tree, Cooper clapped his hands together and declared, 'Breakfast! I'm starving.'

Blaine's dad, however, held up hand. 'Not quite yet, son.' He exchanged a look with his wife before sitting next to her on the couch, setting aside his camera as he did. 'We have one more thing. For you, Blaine.'

Blaine looked at his dad in confusion and then back under the tree, making sure there was no missed present.

'It's not wrapped, sweetie,' his mother said gently. 'There wasn't really anything towrap. It's...' She looked to her husband, silently urging him to go on. Blaine frowned, his mind going a million miles an hour and yet not quite getting anywhere. He glanced at Cooper and Joy. Neither seemed to know what was happening, though Cooper was literally on the edge of his seat, his mouth half open as though he expected something huge.

'You know, son,' - Blaine's heart swelled at the word, he couldn't help it – 'I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I've really been an idiot, haven't I?' Blaine said nothing, still confused as to where this was going, and he watched as his dad took a deep breath before plunging on. 'But no more. From now on you and me we talk, all right? I'm gonna make sure of that. I'll be better at stuff. I'll- I'll listen and we'll do the stuff you want to do, okay?'

Blaine nodded. 'So... that's it?' he said, feeling a little disappointed. It was nice and everything, but they had sort of already covered this.

'No.' His dad gave a soft laugh. 'It's not.'

'Then what?' Blaine urged. 'You're kinda killing me here, Dad.'

'You have an appointment in San Francisco next week.'

His dad paused dramatically, and Blaine stared blankly at him for a few long seconds. What was in San Francisco? Wait-

'With Dr. Blackstone.'

'No way,' Blaine interjected and his mouth fell open.

'Now, this is just a pre-op appointment, but if all goes well-'

'Oh, my god.'

'-and there are no unforeseen issues-'

'Ohmygod, ohmygod.' Blaine was practically hyperventilating.

'-he's going to do your surgery early next year.'

As he sat on the floor still, Blaine made a series of incoherent noises before he was able to produce words. 'I can't- I thought- Oh god, are you serious?' Blaine asked as he stood up, legs shaking a little. Some part of him still needed his dad to confirm that this was for real.

'I'm sorry I've been so pigheaded about this,' his dad said, standing up too. 'But I understand now that there's no sense in waiting. In short: Yes, you are having top surgery as soon as we can manage it.'

'Thank you so much.' Blaine's voice broke as he flung his arms around his dad's neck. 'You have no idea what this means to me.'

'That's just it. I do have an idea now and- Blaine? Are you crying?' His dad pulled back to look at him, and Blaine laughed through the tears that he had barely noticed.

'I guess I am. I just- Wow. I did not expect this.' Blaine looked over at his mother whose eyes were soft and misty as she watched the two of them.. 'Mom,' he choked out as he met her in an embrace.

'About time, huh?' she murmured into his neck. 'He can be a stubborn man, your father.'

'Are you sure we can afford it though?' Blaine asked, tensing a little as he looked between his parents. 'It's not exactly cheap, and with all the money you spent on Dalton...' During Thanksgiving Blaine had realized that his grandmother had not actually been the one to pay for his private school tuition the way his parents had led him to believe, and he felt a little guilty that they had been forced to spend that kind of money on him.

'It's fine, son,' his dad said. 'We have funds laid aside for this kind of thing. We may not be rich but we're not exactly poor either, you know. So don't worry about it. This is something that you need. We're your parents and we're giving it to you.' His dad smiled and clapped him on the shoulder. 'So stop complaining and just accept it.'

'Right. Okay.' Blaine breathed out the tension. 'I can do that.' He paused for a moment as it overwhelmed him again that he had an appointment with one of the chief specialists in FtM top surgery, when last he had known it was going to be until his eighteenth birthday before his parents were even going to entertain the notion of surgery. He was having top surgery.

There was no doubt about it anymore. This really was the best Christmas ever.

It was a little after ten when Blaine rang the bell at Kurt's house. As he waited for someone to open the door, hopping from foot to foot to stave off the cold, he suddenly got nervous, wondering why he hadn't thought to warn Kurt that he was coming, or ask if it was even okay for him to just drop by like this. It was Christmas Day after all. He couldn't expect to just-

'Blaine!' Carole exclaimed as she appeared in the doorway. 'What are you doing here, hon? Is everything okay?'

'Yes, it's fine.' Blaine gave her his best smile. 'I just need to talk to Kurt if that's okay.'

'Sure, of course. I'm sorry, come inside,' she said, stepping aside to let him in. 'It's freezing out.'

'Thanks.'

'Kurt!' Carole called up the stairs as Blaine was taking his shoes and jacket off. 'Blaine's here!'

'Blaine?' came Finn's confused voice as he appeared in the hall from living room, joined a moment later by Burt.

Blaine gave an awkward wave and a nervous smile. 'Uhm, merry Christmas. I'm just here to-'

'Blaine?' He looked around at the sound of Kurt's voice to see its owner descending the stairs, a look of mild surprise on his face. 'I didn't expect to see you until tomorrow.'

'I know, I'm sorry to just barge in like this, but I really needed to see you.' Kurt cocked his head, looking curiously at Blaine as though trying to read what was on his mind. 'I have something important to tell you, and I really didn't wanna wait.' Blaine looked around between all four of them as he shuffled his feet nervously, hoping that he wasn't messing up some important family tradition by being here.

'All right,' Burt said, and Blaine was confused when he looked almost amused. 'Just don't stay up there for too long. We're having lunch as a family at noon so-'

'I completely understand,' Blaine said quickly before Burt could get to the part where Blaine needed to be gone before then. 'Don't worry, I won't be long. I'll be out of your hair before you know it.'

'Kid.' Burt put a hand on Blaine's shoulder. 'Don't you dare. I said family lunch.'

'I... what?'

'You know...' Burt looked around at the others, a half-smile on his lips. 'I think he's a bit dense this one.'

Blaine frowned in confusion, turning to look at Kurt when he felt him take his hand, squeezing gently. 'Honey, he's asking you to join us.'

'Oh. Because...' Blaine flushed. 'Oh. Thank you, sir.'

'Hey, knock it off,' Burt reprimanded softly. 'I thought I told you to stop that. It's Burt.'

'Right. Sorry, sir.' Blaine felt his ears burn as he blushed even deeper. 'I mean, B-Burt.'

Burt just chuckled at that, while Kurt pulled at Blaine's hand, giving his dad a look and telling him, 'We'll work on it.' Blaine let Kurt drag him upstairs, nodding at Burt and smiling politely at Carole (while avoiding Finn altogether) as he went.

'Why does my dad make you so nervous?' Kurt asked once his bedroom door closed behind them, a small smile playing on the corners of his lips. 'You went red as a tomato down there.'

Blaine gave a mortified grimace as he sank down on Kurt's bed. 'I don't know. I guess I just want him to like me.'

'Everyone likes you, Blaine,' Kurt said rolling his eyes, and Blaine wasn't sure whether it was at that or the idea that Burt might not. 'Anyway, what did you want to talk about?'

'Right. That.' In his fumbling in front of Kurt's family, Blaine had forgotten for a moment why he was here, but he stood up now and the excitement and happiness that had been crashing over him in waves for the past couple of hours came back in full force. A wide smile spread across his face and he had to restrain himself from bouncing around the room.

Kurt raised an eyebrow, looking at Blaine in confused amusement. 'I'm guessing it's something good?'

'It is. Really, really good.' Blaine grinned and Kurt gave him an impatient look. 'My parents they- I'm having top surgery! I have a pre-op appointment in San Francisco next week!'

'Oh my god, Blaine!' Kurt squealed, jumping up and throwing his arms around Blaine. 'That's amazing. I'm so happy for you. But wait, what- how did- What happened?'

'They just- after all the normal presents. They said they had one more thing for me.' Blaine shook his head a little, still having a hard time believing that it had really happened. 'I guess it was me and Dad working things out that did it. God, I just can't even- It's gonna be a few months still until the actual surgery, possibly until summer because of school and recovery and all that, but... it's really happening, Kurt. Do you realize how long I've dreamt about this?'

'Since puberty I'm guessing,' Kurt said his voice high and actually breaking a little with emotion.

'Yeah,' Blaine said, overcome suddenly with love for the boy who stood in front of him, his face reflecting all the happiness Blaine felt. 'Yeah.'

'So tell me about it,' Kurt said, sitting down on the bed and pulling Blaine to stand in front of him. 'I want details. When are you leaving? Who's your surgeon? Is he/she good? How's the surgery done? Anything you're worried about at all?'

Blaine regarded Kurt for a moment as he considered the possibility of sitting down to discuss and explain everything now. As much as he wanted to though (and they were going to of course), there was something a lot more pressing on his mind right now. Well, maybe not his mind...

'Later,' he said, his smile almost a smirk as he straddled Kurt's thighs, tangling a hand in Kurt's hair and pulling him closer with it. 'Right now I'd rather do this.'

As Blaine kissed Kurt, slow and passionate, pushing him into the mattress and rutting his crotch against Kurt's, something felt different. He didn't know if it was the promise of this long awaited surgery – the hope it inspired – or if it was just time,but as he moved together with Kurt, he felt somehow freer, less restricted, than he ever had.

'I...' Kurt panted, his face already flushed. 'I'm not sure we should be doing this right now. My- my family-'

'...is downstairs,' Blaine finished for him, feeling inexplicably bold as he continued to palm Kurt through his jeans.

'But they could- oh...' Kurt gave a soft moan and seemed to forget the rest of his sentence after that.

'Are they really going to come in here without knocking?' Blaine asked, speaking low in Kurt's ear and planting soft kisses at the sensitive skin there.

'Maybe not,' Kurt admitted. 'But I might.'

'What, come without knocking?' Blaine snorted. 'That doesn't even make sense, Kurt.'

'You-' Kurt bit his lip to keep from making a noise before letting out a long breath, his voice higher than normal when he spoke, 'You try making sense while your boyfriend is jerking you off like there's no tomorrow.'

Blaine raised an eyebrow. 'Is that a challenge?'

'Is that an invitation?' Kurt asked, eyes full of cautious hope as Blaine leaned down to kiss him.

'Yes,' Blaine said, needing no time to consider for once, and the next thing he knew he was lying on his back with Kurt on top of him, eyes dark and so full of want. Blaine squirmed a little as he reached into his pants, removing the packer – the one from Kurt, and wow, why was that suddenly so hot? – and tossing it aside. He brought his hand to the back of Kurt's neck, pulling him down for a brief kiss. 'Hands. Frottage. Eyes up here,' he instructed shortly.

Kurt placed a soft kiss on Blaine's lips, and he smiled sweetly as he rested a hand high on Blaine's chest. 'I know.' Somehow, even though they were both fully clothed, the moment felt more intimate than anything they had shared so far, and Blaine struggled for a moment to define why. The moment held... promise, he decided. Of something more. Something mutual.

Blaine was ripped from his thoughts as he arched into the first touch of Kurt's hand, biting back a moan.

'So hot,' Kurt breathed as he moved his hand over Blaine's crotch, somehow knowing all the right ways to touch, all the while rutting his own against Blaine's hip. 'C'mere.' He caught Blaine's mouth in a sloppy, wet kiss, swallowing the soft moans that Blaine couldn't tame.

Blaine lost track of how much time went by like this. All he knew was that he was with Kurt, and Kurt was touching him like he meant it – and Blaine was desperately turned on.

'Still with me?' Kurt's voice was soft and a little worried as he slowed down his movements some. Blaine was confused for a moment until he became aware that his eyes were closed. He opened them, meeting Kurt's in steady gaze.

'Yes. Definitely. I just- Please, Kurt,' Blaine begged unsure what he was even asking for.

Reassured, Kurt became teasing as he placed soft barely-there kisses along Blaine's neck, warm, slow breath tickling his skin as Kurt spoke low into his ear, 'Please, what?'

'You can- Under- uh...' Teeth scraped his earlobe and Blaine momentarily lost track of where he was going. 'Ah...Under the clothes. If you want.'

'Are you sure?' The worry was back a little bit as Kurt watched him uncertainly.

'Yes. Please, I just need- need more.'

'Okay then.' Kurt smiled and kissed Blaine's nose, and it was such a small, silly gesture but it made Blaine's heart flutter with sudden emotion. Kurt trailed his hand down Blaine's torso, and he undid his pants without once taking his eyes off Blaine's. 'Your wish is my command.'

Blaine's breath caught in his throat and his heartbeat quickened as Kurt slid his hand further and further south, and then it was there, touching and teasing in a way that was so different and so much better than anything Blaine had ever achieved on his own.

And Blaine wanted to return the favor, to make Kurt feel even half as good as Blaine felt right now, but Kurt was pressed flush against him, making it impossible for Blaine to reach properly – and at any rate Kurt seemed to be managing quite well on his own, thrusting his hips and giving occasional soft moans. Instead Blaine brought his hands to Kurt's sides and slid them down his slender body, coming to rest on his ass. He squeezed the soft flesh there, eliciting a satisfied groan from Kurt.

'Shh.' Blaine laughed as he held a hand over Kurt's mouth, whose corners twitched into a smile.

'Kinky,' Kurt mumbled behind the hand, eyebrow raised.

'Maybe next time.' Blaine grinned as he removed the hand.

'Next time?' Kurt smirked, and Blaine saw it in his face before he felt it; the way two fingers brushed against him just right, making his whole body shiver. 'I like the sound of that.'

'I d- uh. I forgot what I was saying.' Blaine's hips jerked, wanting more, more, more. 'God, Kurt, I'm- so close. Please. Uh. God, so close. Please. Don't stop,' he babbled, barely aware what he was saying.

Ten seconds later it was Kurt's turn to silence Blaine as orgasm rolled over him and he came with a shout, hips stuttering and eyes wide open as they looked into Kurt's. Afterwards Blaine had just enough mental wherewithal to reach between them where Kurt was still desperately hard, and he swallowed Kurt's noises in a passionate kiss as he, too, came with a shudder.

So this is what they call afterglow, Blaine thought to himself ten minutes later as he and Kurt lay close together still. Blaine brought a hand up to Kurt's face, brushing a stray bit of hair behind his ear, and Kurt watched him, a soft, curious smile on his lips.

'What?' Blaine asked, smiling back.

'Nothing. Just... I don't think I've ever seen you this happy.'

It spoke volumes to Blaine that Kurt said this now and not before when he had been grinning and bouncing around like a lunatic. Not that he hadn't been happy then. It was just that that had been a feeling of immediate, reactionary joy, and this right now – the way he felt so perfectly at peace and content as he looked into Kurt's eyes – was so much more profound. The fact that Kurt recognized that, that he saw this quiet contentment exactly for what it was, made everything that much better. Rather than say any of this out loud to Kurt, however, Blaine just smiled.

He knew he didn't have to.