I'm glad to be back at Dalton after winter break. Being in the Caribbean was fun and warm and I got to see my brother, Cooper, which was nice but I like being here best. And I haven't been in contact with anyone for the past coupe weeks so I'm really excited to see them! I got here but Kurt is supposedly coming back in an hour according to Nick.

            Right now, he, Wes, and I are chilling I the commons, being the only three Warblers back yet. We've been playing board games and just joking around, so before I know it, Kurt is here!

            When he walks in I run over and engulf him in a hug. “Kurt! I've missed you!” He hugs me back briefly then laughs and pulls away.

            “Hi Blaine! HI guys!”  he says and waves towards the others. “I missed you too. How was your trip?”

            I fill him in on the details of my vacation quickly then ask him how his break is. “Well, up until the last week, besides Christmas and stuff, it was pretty boring. Everyone was gone, but I ended up making a new friend!” He says sitting down.

            I smile because that's good for him. Kurt's friends are mainly just in the Warblers, while I have friends at McKinley too, so it's nice to here he has other people too.

            We settle back into the game with Kurt just watching and talking. I notice that he starts texting about 10 minutes in and figure it's just his dad or Jeff or something. But then at one of the text he starts giggling and blushing, and then a few minutes later he does this again. So I decide to ask him who he's texting.

            His eyes get wide for a second, but then he says, “Uh, just the friend I made. He's really funny.”

            He? I was expecting it to be a girl, just because Kurt said at his old school all his friends were girls.

            “Do I know him?” I say, and want to kick myself. I'm obviously being snoopy and Kurt will notice.

            He seems hesitant before answering but finally says, “Yeah, actually. It's kinda funny, but it's um, Sebastian Smythe? He's a barista at the Lima Bean, goes to Carmel High….” Kurt trails off and all three of us stare at him with an open mouth.

            Wes is the first to speak. “Kurt, that's fraternizing with the enemy! We might be up against them at Regionals again, he's probably just using you for information.

            I'm still not sure what to say, because I remember him as the guy that was coming on to Kurt a couple weeks ago. Maybe he's different… I hope so.

            I focus on Kurt as he says “… And he didn't even know I was in the Warblers when we started talking! So seriously guys, it's not like that. All he knows is that I'm singing a duet for regionals, that's ALL. He doesn't even know what song.”

            Nick looks relieved but Wes still seems flustered. He finally says “Ok Kurt, I trust you. Just use your best judgment.”

            Nick and Kurt start to laugh and I halfheartedly join in. I have a few questions of my own I'd like to ask.

~~~~~~~~~

            I have to go, but I'll text you during my lunch break?

            Sounds great. I'll be waiting ;) – SS

            I put my phone away and try and focus on class. For the past week or so, I've been texting with Sebastian and even hung out with him a couple times. He's cocky and crosses the line a lot, but when I look past that he's fun to hang out with, and makes me feel good about myself.

            Ever since Blaine heard last night he avoided eye contact with me and didn't say much. Which is so overreacting. It's not like we are anything but friends. Same with Blaine and I.

            Ugh. I don't know what to do about him. I think I like him back, but I don't know. It feels like I could get hurt really easy if we have a relationship. I need to talk to Trent. He always has good relationship advice.

            ~~~~~~~~~
            During my lunch break, instead of a text, a I get a call from Sebastian.

            “Hey, what's up? Is something wrong?”

            I can tell he's smirking through the phone. “No, if it was an emergency I'd call 911. I just thought, this would be better to ask you than through text.” I wait , curious to what he has to say. “So, I was wondering, if you would like to go on a date with me? Just to try it out.”

            “Not like before? Like an actual date.”

            “Yeah, one where I pick you up at 7pm sharp and we hold hands in the back of the theatre and share a popcorn.”

            I laugh, and think about it. What could it hurt? It doesn't make us boyfriends. “Ok, sure. Sounds great. Thanks for asking.”

            “Cool. I'll pick you up Saturday at 7pm.”

            With that he hangs up, and I sit down smiling. Kurt Hummel is going on his first date.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            I've been feeling upset with Kurt all week, and it's already Wednesday. I've decided I'm being ridiculous, so I have some cookie dough and the hopes of a movie with me to offer as an apology for being stupid, and I'm thinking we can just talk and hang out so it's not awkward.

            Nick is out hanging with David, so I know its just Kurt in the room. I knock on the door and when he sees it's me he looks a little surprised. “Hey Blaine! Come on in!”

            “Thanks”

            “So I see you have cookie dough, I'm assuming that means we are gunna be watching a movie? “I nod and smile, because Kurt knows me so well. He puts in the first Harry otter and we sit down. About half hour in he gets a text and I see it's from Sebastian.

            “So…”

            He pauses the movie and looks at me. “He's not as bad as he seemed.”

            I nod, trying to keep an open mind. “Ok, I believe you. I just was surprised and he seemed like he wouldn't be very kind to you, so I was just annoyed I guess. It's stupid.”

            He grabs my hand and gives it a small squeeze. “No, it's not Blaine. We've always been honest and open with each other, that's why we are so close. I'm glad you can tell me what you think. But I actually had a decent conversation with him and it turned out we had some common interests. So seriously, don't worry about it.”

            I'm glad Kurt feels that way, because I feel the same about our relationship. I nod my head and say “You are right. I'll trust your judgment, he can't be so bad if you like him.”

            Kurt laughs and starts the movie again, all the previous tension gone. We have to quit watching soon though, because he has homework to finish. “How about we finish Saturday night? And we can watch the second one too!” I ask him.

            Kurt purses his lips and sighs. “That sounds really fun, but I already have plans.”

            “Oh. Ok…”

            “With Sebastian actually, we are going to  a movie.”

            “Like a date?” I hope he says no.

            But by the blush on his cheek I know the answer before he says “Yeah, I think so.”

            I nod my head and bid him goodnight, saying I'll see him tomorrow.

~~~~~~~~

            It's 6:50 and I'm pacing the living room nervously. I've never been on a date before, and I'm hoping I'm wearing the right thing. And that I won't do something stupid. And that Sebastian will do something to make my dad nervous when he gets me.

            Speaking of my father, he has been sitting on the  couch watching me and finally says “Kid, relax. Even though it's your first date you said you've hung out with him before right?” I nod in agreement. “And you had fun right?” I nod again. “So it will be fine. Just forget that it's a date and enjoy yourself.”

            “Why do you always have to be right?” I ask him and he grins. Just then the doorbell rings. Here goes nothing.

~~~~~~~

            “And then he kissed you???” Rachel exclaims. I'm at her house the day after my date. I've gotten really tight with her and Mercedes through Blaine.

            “Yeah. We held hands the whole movie and shared popcorn and then before we went inside he gave me a little kiss. But I puled away because I'm sure my dad was watching.”

            Rachel and Mercedes squeal and I blush a bit. “What did it feel like?” Mercedes asks.

            This is a question I've been asking myself for the past few hours. Because I always thought a first kiss would be, I don't know, I would just feel something a little more emotional. “Well, I definitely  liked it, don't get me wrong, but it didn't feel like true love or anything. Maybe that comes with time.” They agree and Rachel points out that its just high school and having a bit of fun is harmless until I figure it out.

            We talk for a while more until it's almost time for me to head home and eat dinner with my dad before going back to Dalton. “Well, even if it's not serious, I want to meet your new boy Kurt. My dads are out of town and I was somehow convinced into hosting a party Friday night. I'm inviting you and this Sebastian kid to come! Please?”

            “I don't know, we've only been on one date…”

            Mercedes chimes in saying “Oh come on. This is good, because if you aren't enjoying him we can distract him for you or something.”

            I laugh and finally agree. I give the two girls hugs goodbye and I'm heading out to my car when Rachel yells “Oh and tell Blaine he's invited too! And I won't take no for an answer!”

            This just got a lot more complicated.

~~~~~~~~~

            Kurt had his date this weekend and I'm curious to see how it went. I could hardly sleep Saturday night knowing he had spent the whole evening with someone else and I was at home alone. I have it bad for the boy.

            When I see him in English he waves me over to sit by him. “So, how did the big date go?” I ask, trying to take the higher ground or whatever.

            He smiles slightly before responding “It was fun, I had a good time.”

            “That's great.” I say and there is an awkward pause, but my thoughts are going crazy. He doesn't seem like it was the most amazing thing ever so maybe I can still win him over.

            Kurt breaks the silence by saying “So, Rachel is having a party Friday night, it's gunna mainly just be New Directions, but she wants you to come. She actually said she won't take no for an answer.” We both laugh, because that is typical Rachel Berry.

            “I don't have a ride home so-“

            He cuts me off. “Yes you do! I'll drive you!”

            “But it's kinda out of the way,”
            “No it's not, I'm going too.”

            “Oh! Well in that case, I'd love to go. Thanks Kurt.”
            “No problem.”

~~~~~~~~

            The tension has lessened all week and we are back to our normal selves, the only difference being Kurt isn't so touchy. But at least our relationship isn't feeling strained.

            Until Friday morning. Kurt is going over our plans in English.  We are going to his house and getting ready because “we couldn't possibly wear our uniforms Blaine, why would we do that?” and then eat some dinner with his dad. After that we will head to the party. And then he drops the bomb. ‘Oh, I almost forgot. After dinner we have to swing by an grab Sebastian.”

            “Wait what?”

            “Didn't I tell you? Sebastian's coming. Rachel and Mercedes want to meet him.”

            “Oh.”

            “I know you guys didn't have the best experience with each other last time, but I told him that you are my best friend and that he needs to show his good side around you. And he said of course. So no worries!”

            I mumble something of an agreement and sigh. The universe must really hate me.

~~~~~~~~

            The whole car ride over I'm stuck in the backseat, watching the two of them hold hands. It's nauseating. I wish it was me.

            Both boys are nice about including me in the conversation though which is good, and besides making a few borderline jokes, the only thing Sebastian does to rub me wrong is holding Kurt's hand. Which is personal.

            Once we get to Rachel's, Finn opens the door and leads us downstairs.

            “Welcome,” Rachel says when we reach the basement. This place is something else. I've heard Rachel talk about it, but seeing the place where she holds impromptu performances for her neighbors and her family has their annual Oscar's party, it is truly what you would expect of Rachel Berry. “Kurt, Blaine, Sebastian, Finn,” she says greeting us each by name.

            After that she tours us around the space and then announces the rules. We each get only two wine coolers, and have to use tickets. I love Rachel, but she is so clueless.  People start to get the idea they won't be getting the buzz they want and almost leave before Puck convinces Rachel to let him get into her dad's alcohol supply. “Let's party!” she yells, and then the chaos begins.

            Sometime after I'm sitting in the corner with Finn. Kurt's dad had gave Kurt and I a speech before we left, warning us not to drink to much, and since Kurt's a designated driver he's not drinking anything and I've only had one beer. Finn is sulking because Quinn, his crush at the moment is making out with Puck, who are both obviously drunk, and I'm pouting because Kurt and Sebastian are dancing with each other, in a way that makes me mad.

            “Dude, Kurt is your designated driver right? Why aren't you drinking?”

            “I don't need to drink to have a good time Finn.”

            “Well, I think you do. You've been glaring at the pair of them,” he gestures to Sebastian and Kurt, “for the past 20 minutes. Just loosen up a bit.”

            I decide to take his advice and head over to the alcohol. The rest of the night is a little blurrier.

~~~~~~~~

            I am dancing sporadically to the music and I don't even care! Drinking is so cool! I'm having so much fun! New Directions is crazy on alcohol, holy cow! There is a lot happening.

            I see Sebastian standing alone because Kurt is talking to Mercedes, so I go over to him and out my arm around him.  I figure this is a good time to let him know that I want Kurt and I'm going to get him, eventually. “Just so you know, I called dibs first. I mean, Kurt is so hot and I've wanted him for a while now. He's gunna be mine. So have fun while it lasts, but I'm really excited! Because I'm gunna make Kurt all mine.”  At this point I realize Kurt is now standing next to me and I wonder how much he's heard.

            “Hello Blaine, how much have you had to drink?” he asks me, smiling a bit. Sebastian is frowning though.

            “I don't know, a lot! Drinking is fun!”
            He shakes his head at me and then reminds me to be careful. I nod and then leaves, because Sebastian starts kissing him and I don't want to see all that.

            I head over to Rachel and yell “best party ever!”

            Then Finn comes over and she gets clingy. I think they are broken up again. Too confusing! I think I need another beer.

            As I'm sipping on it Puck comes over and we talk until Rachel yells out “Spin the bottle! Who wants to play Spin the bottle?”

            This is met by cheering and  I head over to where the group is sitting. After we are all set up Brittany spends first and lands on Sam. They kiss for a while before Santana breaks it up, yelling in Spanish. We continue around the circle and Sebastian is next. Hope he doesn't land on me.

            He spins and it lands in between him and Kurt. “Well, I can't kiss myself” he says, before turning and grabbing Kurt's shirt, pulling him close. Then I'm forced to watch them make out for quite awhile. Puck and Santana start making catcalls and others exchange looks. Finally Kurt pulls away, looking flushed but pleased. I frown. Maybe I need more to drink so it doesn't hurt as much.

            Kurt lands on Mercedes and gives her a small peck, then it's Rachel's turn. And she spins me. Great.

            “Blaine Warbler, I'm gunna rock your world,” she says and then leans in. We kiss for a while and I actually don't mind it. Kissing is pretty fun! And maybe it is making Kurt jealous. She whispers to me as we pull away “Your face, tastes awesome.”

            The rest of the night after that for me is spent with Rachel. We sing duets, dance together, take shots, and kiss quite a bit too. I'm too buzzed to care that my first kiss and many after are with a girl, because it's distracting me from Kurt and Sebastian who moved to making out on a couch a couple minutes ago.

            I look at them for a moment and see that Kurt looks really uncomfortable and keeps pulling away, but he doesn't seem to against it, so I just go back to kissing Rachel.

~~~~~~~~~~

            I wake up and the first thing I notice is the killer headache I have. Hangover. Then I realize I'm not in my room, I recognize it as being Kurt's. And I realize I'm in his bed. The night before comes flooding in, and I can only really make out bits and pieces, a lot of it being kissing.

            “Morning sunshine,” Kurt says, walking in. “I made you some breakfast.”

            I thank him and take the eggs and toast. I start to ask how he is but stop because my head is pounding badly. He goes to get me an aspirin, which starts to help. 

            “So, remember anything from last night?” he asks curiously.

            “Not really, just a lot of kissing? Is that right?”

            He snorts. “Yeah. And dancing. And singing. All with your new lover interest, Rachel Berry,”

            I groan. “No  I did not.” But I know he's right. As he says it the memories appear, and I think back to starting it with spin the bottle.

            He laughs at me and it must show on my face how disturbed I am. “No longer a gold star gay are you? But don't worry, I think it was mainly because you were so drunk.” Yeah, and the fact that I was trying not to focus on you and your boyfriend, I think.

            He must notice me frown because he questions “Is there something else bugging you? I was pretty much sober the whole time, only a little buzzed so I remember it.”

            “I um, just, did you and Sebastian kiss a lot? I have a vision of you guys making out on the couch.”

            He turns bright red, so I apologize. “Sorry, that's awkward. Shouldn't have asked.”

            “No, it's fine. We did, just for a little.”

            He still look embarrassed, so I try and lighten the mood by joking “Well at least one of us got what we were after right?”  This makes him frown even more. “Is something wrong Kurt? He didn't pressure you or anything right.”

            ‘No no, it's fine, I was completely okay with what we did! It's just, I didn't expect we would do it so soon. And in front of everyone. I felt a little self conscious is all.”

            “Oh ok. Well, at least you weren't kissing Rachel.” We both laugh and talk for a while before he makes me go downstairs and say hi to his dad , who is leaving for work soon. I give Burt a sheepish grin, because he obviously knows I was drinking last night. He gives me a quick look of sympathy and says I'm welcome to stay all weekend, which I decline at first but accept after he insists.

            ~~~~~~~~~

On Monday I'm feeling better about being with Sebastian again. At the party I felt like things were moving to quick, and I talked to him about it at our lunch date yesterday and he said that he was fine cooling down. It made me glad because he is proving to be a great boyfriend. That's another thing we decided. We are officially a couple now.

            I tell Trent all of this during our lunch and he listens attentively the whole time. When I ask him what he thinks he tells me he's really happy for me, and thinks I have found a great guy. But then he asks me a question that has been nagging at me “Do you really like him Kurt? Or just the idea of him?”

            I pause before answering. “Well, I'm not sure. He makes me laugh and we have common interests and I do find him attractive, but I can't see me wanting to spend a lot of time with him. So I don't know. I'm thinking maybe as time goes on I will grow into it? I do really like the way he makes me feel and all the attention he gives me.”

            Trent looks skeptical and says “I guess you will, but I think you might be in this for the wrong reasons. I know you probably don't like him as a crush anyway, but when you did like Blaine it was because you never ran out of things to talk about and you wanted to see him more and more. To me, that seems like a better start to base a relationship off of.”

            Trent does have a point, but me and Sebastian can get to that point, right? “I'll keep it in mind,” I say.

            “I'm not saying you need to break up with the guy. I'm just saying, keep an open mind and make sure you are doing things with the right intentions.” I give him a quick hug goodbye and tell him I'll see him later in French.

            Instead of making me feel excited and pleased with my new relationship, the conversation has left me feeling unsure and confused. What's more, I'm thinking maybe I chose the wrong guy.