(5:10)
What friend?

(5:11)
The friend at the coffee shop.

(5:15)
I never said I had a friend at the coffee shop.

(5:16)
But you did!

(5:16)
Do you *want* me to have friend at the coffee shop?

(5:19)
Are you really trying to make me believe that you told some random strangers that a guy named Blaine would be stopping by and that they were to give him whatever he wants?

(5:20)
a) Strangers? They're my coffee people. b) Anything you want?

(5:22)
a) So is that your regular coffee place? b) That's what they told me.

(5:25)
a) Now, answering that would be reckless. b) That seems like a dangerous thing to say to you. I guess they didn't know better, I should have warned them.

(5:27)
Were you there?

(5:28)
?

(5:28)
At the coffee shop. Don't play dumb! ;)

(5:33)
No, I wasn't.

(5:35)
Yeah, just like you don't have a friend working there.

(5:45)
You're such a stubborn skeptic.

(5:46)
And you're full of shit! :P

(5:47)
Hey now! Someone doesn't want another coffee next Tuesday...

(5:49)
Sure, gives you another chance to have your friends spy on me.
(5:53)
I really want to believe you weren't there.

(5:54)
Why?

(5:59)
You'd either be the second half of an old grumpy couple fighting over the right amount of sugar or a rude business woman, who thought it would be okay to cut me off in line. Not to mention the weird kid with the Chad Kroeger haircut.

(6:02)
Well!
(6:05)
I could be anyone.

(6:08)
But you weren't there.

(6:10)
But I wasn't there.

******

Thurs 4 Dec (10:24am)
This is going to be the most boring Thursday of my entire life.
(10:25)
I suggest a Q&A.

(10:45)
Who's doing the Q and who's doing the A?

(10:55)
We'll take turns. Are you in?

(10:56)
I'm in.
(10:57)
Wait. Are there gonna be rules?

(10:59)
Do you need rules?

(11:04)
What if I don't want to answer something?

(11:13)
What kind of questions do you think I'll be asking?
(11:14)
But okay, you can use “squirrel” as your safe word.

(11:17)
I feel like I'm not being taken seriously.

(11:20)
And nothing but questions and answers all day.
(11:20)
Agreed?

(11:23)
Oddly determined, but agreed.

(11:25)
I'll go first.

(11:27)
Of course.

(11:29)
Which school are you attending?

(11:29)
Squirrel.

(11:30)
Blaine!

(11:32)
What?!
(11:33)
I'll be nice. You can ask another question.

(11:45)
Fine.
(11:46)
What's your favorite color? (Yes, that's what you get for being a spoilsport so early in the game.)

(11:59)
Mature.
(12:00)
Red.

(12:34)
It's your turn.

(12:35)
I know. Trying to come up with the perfect first question.

(12:36)
Don't hurt yourself.

(12:47)
Can you change a tire?

(12:49)
Whatever happened to coming up with the perfect first question?

(12:50)
Answering with another question is not allowed!

(12:51)
That wasn't a rule.

(12:54)
It's a rule now.
(12:55)
And shush. It was too much pressure so I went with the most random question instead.

(12:57)
What if you actually thought this was the perfect first question, though?

(12:58)
JUST ANSWER IT!

(1:01)
This is going so well.
(1:02)
Yes, I can.
(1:14)
Where did you grow up?

(1:19)
Columbus.
(1:20)
Is that close to where your family lives?

(1:33)
It's a two-hour drive. Close enough?

(1:34)
Is that your question?

(1:35)
No.
(1:37)
My question is: Which high school did you attend? (That's in the past. It should be safe to answer this one!)

(1:55)
I graduated from Dalton Academy, Westerville.

(1:59)
You're a prep school boy... Everything makes so much sense now.

(2:01)
Were you always this obnoxious?

(2:23)
Is that your question?

(2:26)
Yes.

(2:28)
Maybe. But maybe you just bring it out in me.
(2:30)
Does your family still live in Columbus?

(2:33)
Yes.
(2:34)
Do you live with a roommate or on your own?

(2:35)
There are two roommates. What student can afford a place on his own in NYC?

(2:39)
If that's your question: I've got my own apartment.

(2:44)
Why doesn't that surprise me? The boarding school gave you away.

(2:45)
What is that supposed to mean?

(2:46)
Are your parents filthy rich?

(2:49)
Define filthy rich. They just wanted me to have an apartment.

(2:55)
And you didn't? Because I could take it over for you. I'd be willing to make the sacrifice.

(2:56)
Why are you the one asking all the questions?
(3:01)
And no, I didn't. I'd rather live on campus, actually.

(3:45)
So why don't you?

(3:47)
You're breaking all the rules.

(3:49)
Not all of them!
(3:50)
But okay, your turn.

(4:06)
What's your coffee order?

(4:09)
McQueen.

(4:11)
Is that a new item on the Starbucks menu? Because I haven't been to one in a while.

(4:12)
It's my safe word.

(4:17)
Since when do you have a safe word? And why do you need it for coffee related questions?

(4:18)
Reasons, Blaine. Reasons.
(4:26)
You're allowed to go again.

(4:28)
What exactly are you studying?

(4:30)
Fashion Design.
(4:55)
Are you going home for the holidays this time?

(4:59)
I don't think so, no.

(5:01)
Why not?

(5:02)
Rules, Kurt!

(5:05)
Forget about the rules! How can you not go home for Christmas?

(5:15)
My parents are busy.

(5:16)
On Christmas?!

(5:16)
Yes.

(5:18)
Are you serious?

(5:19)
Yes, positive.

(5:24)
I'm sorry.

(5:35)
Don't be. It's always been this way.

(5:36)
That doesn't make it okay.

(5:39)
I'm not a huge fan of Christmas anyway.

(5:40)
Nonsense.
(5:41)
Mission #2 is officially in planning mode.

(5:41)
No! What?!

(5:42)
Shhhh.
(5:43)
Your turn.

(5:44)
What are you planning?

(5:46)
McQueen.

(5:46)
You cannot call McQueen now!!!

(5:50)
I can. And I am.
(5:55)
You can go again.

(5:56)
What are you planning?

(5:56)
Blaine.

(5:58)
What are you planning?

(5:59)
Are you stuck?

(6:33)
Fine.
(6:36)
What's the first sentence of the second chapter of the book that's closest to you?

(6:38)
Why the second chapter? Isn't it always about the first sentence of the first one?

(6:39)
No. People are too obsessed with first impressions.

(6:40)
Okay.
(6:49)
Can I cheat? This is the longest sentence in the history of sentences. My fingers bleed just by looking at it.

(6:55)
Then give me your favorite sentence.

(6:56)
Of the second chapter?

(6:57)
Always the second chapter.

(6:59)
“I think and I think and I think, I've thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it.”

(7:20)
That's a good one.

(7:25)
It is.

~

(8:55)
What does your boyfriend think about you texting me all day every day?

(8:59)
1) It's my turn to ask a question. 2) Not all day *every* day.

(9:03)
You asked way more questions than I did. I'm trying to work against this imbalance that you've created.
(9:04)
And you haven't even asked me anything in over an hour.

(9:06)
Dinner. I was having dinner.

(9:07)
With your boyfriend?

(9:21)
Why are you so obsessed with him all of a sudden?

(9:22)
Because you never talk about him.

(9:26)
Not to you.

(9:27)
And why is that?

(9:28)
Don't you think we're balanced by now?

(9:30)
I believe the quota is 11-8.

(9:33)
That doesn't seem right.

(9:56)
Would you let me buy you coffee on Tuesday?

(9:58)
That's my thing! You're stealing my thing. Tuesdays are about you, because you are the one who hates them.

(10:01)
Is that a no?

(10:11)
Yes. Don't argue with me!

(10:13)
I wouldn't.
(10:36)
Would you let me buy you lunch?

(10:37)
On Tuesday?

(10:39)
No. Thursday.

(10:40)
Why Thursday?

(10:43)
It's our 10-week text pal anniversary.

(10:45)
That needs a better name.
(10:47)
Wait. Are you suggesting that we meet?

(10:49)
I didn't say that.
(10:50)
Is that what you want?

(10:52)
Oh no. No no no. Don't even try to twist this around.

(10:53)
Relax.
(10:55)
I'll text you the details.

(10:57)
And as always, I'm both scared and intrigued.

(10:59)
You should be.
(11:02)
...Intrigued. Not scared. Never scared! I'm nice! I'm made of rainbows and fluff and fun, remember?

(11:04)
I love how you always ruin your moments of mystery by being a dork.

(11:06)
Goodnight, Kurt!

(11:09)
Goodnight.