(4:30)
Where's the fire?

(4:31)
He asked me to meet him.

(4:32)
Who?

(4:32)
You know who.

(4:34)
...Wow. Okay. Are you sure that's a good idea?

(4:34)
...Why not?

(4:35)
Does he still have a boyfriend?

(4:37)
I guess? Maybe. Probably.

(4:37)
Again, are you sure it's a good idea?
(4:38)
You're setting yourself up for heartbreak, Anderson.

(4:39)
Shush. It's just a meeting.

(4:39)
And you're 'just' in love with him.

(4:40)
I'm not in love with him!!!

(4:40)
Riiight.

(4:41)
I'm not!
(4:42)
You can't *love* someone you've never met.

(4:44)
And now you're going to meet. What if you do fall for him? Then it'll be worse, because he'll still be the one with the boyfriend and you will cry on my shoulder and I'll never hear the end of it!

(4:46)
You're mean.

(4:46)
I'm being realistic. And I don't want to see you hurt. Again.

(4:47)
I'm meeting him as a friend. I'm not stupid.
(4:49)
Hey, maybe he's hideous! Like... Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder!

(4:49)
Or someone from a crappy horror movie.

(4:50)
Or Gollum!
(4:52)
Who am I kidding; he's going to be... Kurt.

(4:53)
The boy who sounds beautiful even through texts. Yes, I know. You told me 100 times last night.

(4:56)
What if it IS a bad idea?
(4:58)
Oh god, what am I gonna do?!

(4:59)
When are you going to meet?

(4:59)
I... I don't know.
(5:00)
Oh. We didn't even get to that.

(5:01)
Hopeless is what you are, Anderson.

(5:01)
And you're not helpful at all.

(5:02)
I'll be there to put you back together afterwards.

(5:02)
Hmph.

~~~

(5:10pm)
When do you wanna meet? Are you back to school as well tomorrow?

(5:12)
No, not yet. I'm interning for about two weeks.

(5:13)
Oh, okay. So you'll be really busy...

(5:13)
I guess.

(5:16)
Okay.

(5:16)
But I'm free Tuesday afternoon.

(5:17)
Great! Me too.

(5:18)
5pm?

(5:18)
Yes. Where?

(5:19)
Coffee shop?

(5:19)
Okay. :)
(5:20)
You can get me my Tuesday coffee then.
(5:22)
Not... that you have to. I mean...
(5:25)
Do you want to meet Bradshaw?

(5:26)
Uhm...

(5:27)
No...? I don't have to bring him; he's good at staying home alone, too.

(5:29)
No - okay, sure. Sure, why not?

(5:29)
Alright! :)

~~~

(5:30pm)
Outgoing Call
“Hey Blai-”

“Tuesday. Tuesday! That's super soon. That's like... two days! Is that too soon?”

“Breathe, Blaine. Breeeeathe.”

“Okay... Yes.”

“Better?”

“Yes. It's just so... I thought it wouldn't be so soon... “

“It's been three months.”

“You know what I mean!”

“Yeah. Will you be okay? Do you need a pep talk?”

“No. I'm fine. I think I'm fine... Tuesday. That's totally fine. No big deal. Don't I sound fine to you?”

“Since you asked, a little hysterical... And you said the word 'fine' a lot.”

“Well, that's because I'm fine. I'm fine and hysterical Blaine right now.”

“...Do you need me to come over?”

“No... Yes... Maybe... No. Maybe?”

“Alright, that's it. We're gonna go for a walk.”

“But I don't-”

“Already on my way.”

“Wes! ...Wes?! ...Damn.”

~~~

(5:33pm)
I really hope that this wasn't a mistake.

(5:35)
Did you ask him?

(5:35)
Yes.

(5:36)
And he said yes?

(5:36)
Yes.

(5:37)
When?

(5:37)
Tuesday.

(5:38)
Well. Now we wait.

(5:41)
I can't believe you picked this time to leave town.

(5:42)
I'm there for you whenever you need me, you know that.
(5:44)
You could've asked him to meet you next week.

(5:45)
No. It has to be now.

(5:46)
Okay.
(5:46)
Call me - anytime!

(5:47)
<3

******

Mon 5 Jan (6:45pm)
How was your first day?

(6:56)
Crazy. Crazy like you wouldn't believe. The fashion world is one big pile of drama. It's almost too cliché.

(6:57)
I'm sure you can handle it better than anyone else.
(6:59)
Are we still set for tomorrow?

(7:01)
Yes, sure.

(7:03)
Will Rachel be there?

(7:04)
No. She's spending the week with a theatre company in Boston. Something about extra credit.

(7:04)
Wow, okay.

(7:05)
It's just you and me.

(7:06)
And Bradshaw.

(7:06)
And Bradshaw. Yes.

******

Tues 6 Jan (1:22am)
I can't sleep.
(1:24)
Are you asleep?

(1:25)
Yes.

(1:26)
No, you're not. Liar.

(1:26)
Go to sleep, Anderson.

(1:27)
Sigh.

(1:28)
Oh good god, please.

(1:28)
Fine.

~~~

(4:50pm)
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

(4:51)
You're not going to impress him like that, Blaine. ;)

(4:53)
Just... fuck. I think I'm about to throw up. On Bradshaw. Oh god.

(4:55)
Blaine. Hey. You're gonna be fine. You're friends and you've talked for three months now. This won't be any different.

(4:59)
This was a mistake.

(5:01)
Oh shush. Relax. You're good with people.

(5:02)
Kurt isn't people.

(5:03)
You can be very frustrating, did anybody ever tell you that?

(5:04)
Not helping.

(5:10)
Is he late?

(5:11)
…Yes.
(5:16)
Oh god, he's late.
(5:20)
Wes, he's not coming. What if he's not coming?!

(5:21)
Maybe he got held up. Didn't you say he just started his internship yesterday?

(5:22)
Yeah.
(5:25)
He's totally late.

(5:25)
I'm sure he'll be there soon.

~~~

(5:26)
I won't be able to make it after all. Something came up, sorry!

(5:27)
Okay...
(5:27)
Well, maybe next time?

~~~

(5:28)
That was that then...

(5:29)
?

(5:29)
He's not coming.

(5:30)
Are you sure?

(5:31)
1) It's 5:31. 2) He just texted me that he can't make it.
(5:33)
Shit.

(5:34)
Just like that?

(5:35)
Yeah, 'something came up.' Wtf is 'something'?

(5:36)
Hey... I'm sure he had a good reason. So it didn't happen today... Not the end of the world.
(5:37)
Wanna come over and watch a movie?

(5:39)
No, I guess I'll just go home and practice some more.

(5:40)
Okay. Call me if you need to talk.

(5:41)
Thank you.

(5:41)
Sure.

~~~

(8:12pm)
Are you okay?
(8:33)
No, seriously. Did anything happen?
(9:45)
Kurt, I'm getting worried.
(10:01)
Get back to me as soon as you see this, okay?

******

Wed 7 Jan (4:14pm)
I really need you to tell me that you're okay, Kurt.
(6:34)
Please, come on.
(10:13)
Fuck... Kurt.

******

Thurs 8 Jan (12:01pm)
This isn't funny. Can you please just answer me?

(1:12)
Hey.

(1:13)
Oh god.
(1:14)
What happened???

(1:15)
I'm fine. Nothing happened. It's just been a really stressful week.

(1:17)
Are you serious?

(1:20)
I'm sorry.

(1:21)
And you're fine?

(1:22)
Yes, I am.

(1:25)
So, let me get this straight... You ask me to meet you, then you don't show up, leaving me there with a 'something came up,' THEN you don't answer my texts at all and now you're telling me that you're okay and nothing happened?

(1:30)
I... Yes.

(1:31)
Wow, okay.

(1:32)
I'm sorry.

(1:33)
Yeah, well.

******

Fri 9 Jan (11:55pm)
Tell me, Kurt. Is that it? One failed attempt and we stop talking?
(11:59)
I'm not mad at you, you know?
Sat 10 Jan (12:01am)
Okay, I don't get why you suggest a meeting only to not turn up in the end. But I'm sure you had a good reason, so I'm not mad.
(12:06)
You did have a good reason, right?
(12:08)
I thought you did. Only then you leave it at that, without any real explanation, and you don't answer any of my texts and I wasn't even sure if you were still alive.

(12:14)
I am. I am alive.

(12:15)
Yes, I know that now, don't I?
(12:33)
Look, if you want me to stop texting you, all you really have to do is ask.

(12:34)
I don't.
(12:35)
Want you to stop texting me, I mean.

(12:36)
Then what? Give me something to work with, come on.

(12:40)
But maybe we should.

(12:41)
...What?

(12:42)
Maybe we should stop.

(12:45)
Shit, Kurt...
(12:47)
I will if that's what you want me to do.
(12:48)
But I just don't get it. How can you go from asking me to meet you for coffee to this?! How?

(12:50)
Don't make this harder than it already is.

(12:51)
*I'm* making this harder?

(12:52)
Please...

(12:53)
Please what? What do you want from me here?

(12:55)
Blaine.

(12:56)
All *I* want is an explanation.

(12:59)
I can't.
(1:01am)
You once said you didn't want this to be an obligation. Right now you're making it one.

(1:04)
Wow. Just... wow.
(1:05)
You know what, Kurt?! Screw you.

(1:06)
Please...

(1:06)
I'm giving you what you want. I'm leaving you alone. Now leave *me* alone.

~~~

(12:03pm)
I screwed everything up. Everything.

(12:15)
What happened???

(12:16)
Please say you're almost here.

(12:17)
Yes! Yes, I am.

(12:17)
Thank god.

(12:18)
You're scaring me, Kurt.

(12:20)
I'm scared of myself.

~~~

(1:03pm)
Hey Blaine, are you up for a walk or what?

(1:05)
No.

(1:06)
Come on, it's beautiful outside! I bet Bradshaw can't wait to get out.

(1:07)
He's fine.

(1:10)
Are you okay?

(1:11)
No.

(1:12)
What happened?

(1:14)
I don't wanna talk about it.

(1:14)
Blaine.

(1:16)
Don't.

(1:16)
I'm coming over anyway.

(1:17)
Well, I won't open the door.

(1:17)
Then I'll call Mr Donovan - I know that he's got your spare key.

(1:20)
For the love of... Will you just leave me alone?!

(1:21)
Damn. See you in 15.

(1:25)
I'm such an idiot, Wes...
(1:26)
You were right. You're always right. Why are you always right?

(1:27)
Well, rest assured that in this case I hate to be right. Hang on, okay? And open that door when I get there.

******

Sun 11 Jan (11:05am)
So it's Sunday and Bradshaw just did the most amazing thing and all I wanted to do was text him and tell him all about it.
(11:12)
I wish I could hate him. I wish I could hate him, instead of myself.
(11:15)
You were right. I feel too much, too fast.

(11:19)
That doesn't have to be a bad thing...

(11:20)
Right now it is.
(11:23)
It's too much, Wes. It's just too much.
(11:24)
I didn't expect it to feel like this.
(11:26)
I know, I know... please don't say 'I told you so.'

(11:27)
I would never do that. On your way back, come and stop by, okay?

(11:28)
I already ruined your Saturday. I won't ruin your Sunday as well.

(11:28)
Shut up and do it, Anderson!

(11:29)
...Okay

******

Tues 13 Jan (2:45pm)
Tuesdays suck.

(2:48)
And there we go. Old Blaine is back.

(2:49)
They just do! And I thought they sucked before, but now... now they're just hell.
(2:51)
Helldays is what they should be called.

(2:53)
Someone's dramatic today.

(2:54)
Hurricane.

(2:54)
What?

(2:55)
Nothing.

(2:57)
Okay? How's your workshop?

(2:58)
The music sucks.

(2:59)
Damn, Blaine. You're going to have to let it go eventually.

(3:01)
I gotta get back to my sucky Hellday and play some stupid music.

(3:02)
Yes, go do that. And then you're going to come over and help me with my assignment.

(3:02)
Do I have to?

(3:04)
Yes. It will stop you from coming up with things like 'Hellday.'

(3:04)
Fine.

~~~~

(4:40pm)
Kurt. Kurt Kurt Kuuuuurt!

(4:42)
Yes?

(4:43)
No, I shouldn't tell you. I shouldn't.

(4:43)
What?!

(4:45)
He was here. Just now.

(4:45)
?

(4:46)
Blaine!

(4:48)
Oh.

(4:48)
Yes, oh.
(4:53)
Kurt.

(4:53)
Yes?

(4:54)
He didn't smile.

(4:54)
And?

(4:55)
And he always smiled.

(4:59)
Well, thanks a lot, Rachel. You didn't really have to tell me that.
(5:03)
Why did you tell me???

(5:04)
Did you talk to him at all about this?

(5:05)
I... Not really, no.

(5:06)
Maybe that's not fair. After all this time and what you did for him.

(5:09)
Did you give him his coffee?

(5:10)
No. Well, I did give him coffee, but he paid for it.

(5:13)
This is such a mess.

(5:13)
I shouldn't have told you.

(5:14)
Too late for that!

(5:15)
Sorry...

~~~

(4:42pm)
Why do I keep doing this to myself?

(4:44)
What did you do now?

(4:45)
I went by the coffee shop. I saw Rachel. I probably looked like a crazy person to her.

(4:46)
Blaine, what am I gonna do with you?

(4:47)
Just shut up and let me let me help with that assignment.

(4:47)
Well, since you asked so nicely... See you in a bit!

******

Fri 16 Jan (9:32pm)
Blaine, remember when I said there's always going to be coffee?
(9:35)
I meant that.

~~~

(9:55pm)
I know I said I'm better, but I'm really not.
(9:56)
Aren't you sick of me yet?

(9:58)
What do you need?

(9:58)
Drinks.

(9:59)
Okay, we're at the bar on my street. You're quite welcome to join. Adam's got a story that you might enjoy.

(10:00)
Sounds good.

******

Sat 17 Jan (2:01am)
Why?

(2:05)
…What?

(2:06)
Why did you ave to send me sthat text, Kurt?

(2:07)
...Are you drunk?

(2:10)
Whjat if I was?

(2:11)
We can't have this conversation when you're drunk.

(2:12)
Why not?s

(2:15)
If you still want to talk tomorrow, text me and we'll talk. Okay?

(2:17)
Whateever.

~~~

(4:16pm)
Okay.

(4:20)
Okay?

(4:21)
Talk.

(4:23)
Uhm...

(4:25)
Kurt. Yes, I was drunk last night, but I do remember that you offered to talk. I've got nothing to say to you, but maybe you've got something to say to me. If not, have a nice weekend.

(4:33)
I'm sorry for what happened last week.

(4:34)
Yes, thank you for making me feel like I was living a Meg Ryan movie. I really appreciated that.

(4:37)
I've got a boyfriend.

(4:37)
I know.

(4:38)
No, you don't.
(4:40)
I've got a boyfriend who loves me and adores me and that's something I thought I'd never have.

(4:41)
Why are you telling me this?

(4:41)
Because I need you to understand. All of it.
(4:46)
I'd given up on it. It's silly, I know. I was so young, fuck, I'm *still* young. But everyone around me was living this life that I wanted and it was so *easy* for them. It wasn't easy for me, it just never was. At the end of it I was tired of fighting and trying to prove everyone just how strong I was.
(4:47)
And then I came here and everything changed. Everything.
(4:48)
Is that a cliché? I don't care. It's my cliché. It's the truth.

(4:50)
Again, why are you telling me all this?

(5:01)
I was there, Blaine.
(5:03)
Outside. I was there and I saw you sitting there by the window with that stupid dog and your stupid messy hair and you just looked so...
(5:04)
And I couldn't do it. I couldn't open that door.

(5:05)
Why?
(5:06)
If you were already there, then why didn't you come inside?
(5:06)
It was your idea, not mine.
(5:07)
Why?

(5:10)
Because you were... you.

(5:12)
What?

(5:15)
A part of me wanted to meet you, so that I could get you out of my head. Because this thing we're having, it's weird, and it's started to mess with my head. Big time.
(5:16)
I was starting to like the thought of you.
(5:18)
But it's not real, is it? It might feel real, but it's not. And I guess I was hoping that, if I met you, this fantasy would just crash in on itself and I could move on with my life.
(5:19)
I've got a boyfriend, Blaine.

(5:20)
I know. You keep saying that.

(5:23)
I've got a boyfriend who loves me and I couldn't open that door, because I saw you and you were you and you were someone I couldn't see myself walking away from.

(5:26)
Oh.

(5:27)
And that's it. That's everything.