By the time Kurt makes it through his front door, he's sobbing. He grabs the bottle of vodka he saves for when Britt comes over, and shuts himself in his room.

How could he do that? Why would he sing that song? Why that song? Kurt's mind is going a mile a minute. He just wants it all to stop. He puts his iPod on the dock and turns it up all the way. He feels the burn of the alcohol go down his throat, and its a pain he doesn't mind feeling right now.

Anything to make me forget. So Kurt drinks more. And more…and more.

◊ ◊ ◊

Blaine returns home about 20 minutes after Kurt left the coffee shop. Blaine doesn't know what he expected to come home to, and it sure as hell wasn't this. He can hear Kurt in his room, singing along to a song. Its a bit muffled, but he can just make it out.

Don't speak 
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining 
Don't tell me cause it hurts 
Don't speak 
I know what you're thinking 
I don't need your reasons 
Don't tell me cause it hurts

Our memories 
Well, they can be inviting 
But some are altogether 
Mighty frightening 
As we die, both you and I 
With my head in my hands 
I sit and cry 

The singing dies down, but the song keeps playing. Blaine is torn, wondering if he should just go to his room and leave Kurt alone, or try and talk to him. Taking a chance, he chooses the latter.

He bangs on Kurt's door, trying to be louder than the music. Kurt must have heard him, because the music is turned down. Kurt swings the door open and looks at Blaine with anger.

Blaine can see that Kurt has been drinking. He smells enough like it.

“Oh, its you.” Kurt says with venom.

“What the hell happened Kurt? First you run out and now I find you here drunk.” Blaine says concernedly.

“What happened? You want to know what happened? Hm, lets see. Three years ago, I was in love and happy with this really amazing guy named Blaine. Maybe you know him? He looks a lot like you too. Well, I caught him cheating on me with an asshole that looked like a fucking meerkat! You want to hear the best part?”

Blaine is getting frustrated now. Can't Kurt see how sorry he's been? Before he can say anything, Kurt continues on.

“He shows up on my doorstep out of the blue. And what do I do? I tell him he can stay! How stupid am I? He doesn't know that for the past three years, I have spent every single day thinking about him. Thinking about us and the 'what if's?' He doesn't know how even though he hurt me so bad, I had already forgiven him for everything. He doesn't know how much I still love him. He can't know.” Kurt is sobbing at this point. “He can't know because my heart won't let him.”

Blaine doesn't know what to say right now. Kurt just said he still loved him.

He tries to reach out for Kurt, but Kurt flinches back and wraps his arms around himself. “No Blaine! You don't get to do this anymore! Why did you have to come back?!” What the hell is with his mood swings?! Blaine thinks.

“Because I love you, Kurt! How many times do I have to apologize for ever hurting you?! I regret it the most okay?! I cried myself to sleep for months when you left me. I thought being with Sebastian was karma for what I did to you. That I deserved every hit he gave me, because I hurt the one person I ever loved.” Tears are streaming down Blaine's face. He wipes them away angrily and turns away from Kurt.

Kurt is frozen where he is standing, seeming a bit more sober than he was a few minutes ago. “Blaine-”

“No, Kurt.” Blaine interrupts. “I can see where I'm not wanted. Its not the first time. I'll be back tomorrow to get my things and I'll be out of your life again. Forever.”

This time, Kurt is the one that watches Blaine leave him.

◊ ◊ ◊

When Blaine leaves the apartment, he doesn't really know where he's going, until he stops in front of a bar. He walks in, trying to get his mind off of Kurt. He's sitting at the bar, nursing a beer. No matter how hard he tried, the thoughts of Kurt still lurked around in his mind.

Do I really want to leave? No. Should I leave? Kurt doesn't want me there. Well he never actually said that, but he pretty much implied it. But where will I go? I can't go back to Sebastian's. I have no one else out here, except for Kurt. He makes me feel safe. And he did say he still loved me. Maybe if we took it slow… No! He doesn't want me that way, no matter what he says. I can't leave. Not this time. I won't let him go this time.

Blaine has made up his mind, and pays the tab on the drinks he's had. But before he can turn around to leave, he hears a familiar voice that leaves him shocked frozen.

“Well hello, Blaine.”