Before Quinn wouldn’t have been caught dead walking behind or even next to someone. She had always been front and center, asserting her position as the best.
She walked with her head held high.
Basked in the way people always spoke to her with reverence, and relished in their attention.
She shot every guy she wanted (and sometimes even their girlfriends) a smile, because she knew that within a few minutes they’d forget that any other girl existed, and they’d be following her to the nearest empty room.
Every guy had wanted her and every girl had wanted to be her.
She had it all.
She loved seeing how far she could get, especially when she realized that she really had no limits, or so she’d thought.
Now all she wanted was to lose herself in seas of people.
She didn’t want that power anymore.
It was addicting and lethal, she just wished she’d known that sooner.
Maybe then the guilt would stop suffocating her.
Of course there where other options, she could always take the easy way out, forget it ever happened, she could always completely lose herself in the darkness, the power that resided within each of them, but she knew that would only lead to others suffering.
That was the reason she was at Dalton, why she now walked behind Rachel, her mouth shut tight, eyes empty, with Santana by her side completely ignoring her and Finn and Puck walking up front.
She glanced up at Santana whose eyes where pinned on a sullen Sam.
Santana turned when she felt Quinn staring.
“I think he needs some cheering up.” She said grinning wickedly.
Rachel eyes widened “Is there a single boy at this school you haven’t attempted to sleep with?” she huffed bitterly.
Quinn nearly smiled. Their bickering was good; it kept her mind off things. Even if it drove her crazy from time to time, it was always a good distraction.
Personally Quinn liked Sam. He was sweet and unlike every other boy in the world he hadn’t crudely hit on her the moment she walked through the door, but she didn’t think Santana was his type. Although what did she know?
“Actually yes. I haven’t been with Finn. I’d rather fuck a duck.” Santa snapped, “but I wasn’t talking about me I was talking about Miss Celibacy.”
Quinn cringed “Please don’t call me that.”
“Sorry but it’s true.” Santana turned and began to walk backwards to face Quinn. She crossed her arms across her chest. Something she always did around boys because she knew it accentuated her chest in the tight white polo. “I think it’s time you start talking to someone of the opposite sex, and he’d be the perfect start. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but that boy still stares at you like you’re some sort of goddess. Which is pretty amazing considering all he’s going through. Plus all the other boys stopped doing that when they realized they couldn’t get into your pants,” she said snickering.
“He’s really your last resort. So what do you say?” she asked, her eyes sparkling menacingly.
Quinn didn’t respond.
“Oh come on I’m tired of watching you both sulk around all the time. You’re perfect for each other.” She said shrugging.
Quinn was about ready to tell Santana off, she was not in the mood to argue. She hadn’t known it was possible but sometimes Santana was even more irritating than Rachel, however it was in that very moment that she stopped; better yet they all stopped.
Yet Quinn had stopped for a reason far different from everyone else.
She did not stop because she felt Kurt’s presence nearby, she stopped because she felt someone else’s. Someone deeply familiar, and it terrified her because she didn’t know any other demons. There was something, no someone on the other side of the door that she knew.
All she could do was stand there as Puck and Rachel burst into the room. Sam stood by the doorway debating what to do. She heard Santana say something but she couldn’t understand her.
All at once Quinn found herself being pulled into the room, Santana’s hand only slipping from her wrist once she had pulled her into the doorway.
Quinn’s stomach clenched as the oddly familiar curls and glowing eyes pierced into her.
She froze in the study room’s doorway.
“Quinn.” Her name slipped through his lips as he stared at her blinkingly rapidly as if she was some sort of hallucination.
Her mouth fell open.
“Blaine?” she almost whispered.
He bit his bottom lip, eyes falling.
Again Quinn tried to move but it was like she’d been glued to the floor, no matter how much she tried she felt immobile.
The room had fallen silent.
All eyes where on them.
Quinn’s thoughts were racing.
She could sense his power it was intimidating, strong, and completely untamed. How was it she’d never felt it before? How was this possible? Why now? Why was he here?
It seemed the same thing was running through his mind.
“What are you doing here?” He asked.
Quinn watched him pointedly raising an eyebrow.
“I could ask you the very same question.” She said half dazed.
Blaine smiled warmly which outlined the awful bags beneath his eyes.
Quinn was instantly worried.
It had been so long since she had seen him.
Years.
Quinn wasn’t sure how it had happened. He looked completely different and exactly the same all at once. His hair was mangier than usual and his usual composure had all but disappeared, despite everything, the same innocent look in his eyes shone just as fervently as the first day she’d met him. Quinn realized his clothes, although dirty and tattered, were as expensive as his last name. Her gaze fell on his deeply bruised face and an unfamiliar scar in the corner of his eye. That had a story to tell.
She could feel him doing the same, slowly assessing her. His eyes falling on her hair, it was definitely not the long golden hair she used to spend hours brushing and curling when she was younger. It was short, plain, simple; it reflected what she wished her life was like. Quinn self-consciously touched her hair and looked away.
Rachel, who’s eyes where darting back and forth from Quinn to Blaine threw her hands up to stop the already completely stagnant room.
“Let me get this straight, you two know each other? I thought you didn’t know demons existed Quinn, how were you friends with one?” she asked mildly outraged.
Quinn rolled her eyes. “I didn’t. Trust me I’m just as shocked as you are, and-” she wrapped her arms around herself suddenly feel extremely uncomfortable under everyone’s gaze.“ -and our relationship was complicated. We weren’t really friends.” She whispered hurriedly avoiding Blaine’s eyes.
“Guess that explains why you never said goodbye.” He muttered, but his words where lost in the chaos of the now buzzing room.
“I’m sorry but I just don’t understand how-”
“Rachel!” Kurt’s voice interjected. His hands where on his hips as he glared at her. “This is none of your business.”
“This just doesn’t make any sense everyone knows that-,” but again Kurt cut her off.
“A lot of things in this world are inexplicable Rachel, but now isn’t’ the time to find every answer.”
Rachel glared at him eyes darkening, nostrils slightly flaring.
“Rachel.” Finn softly pulled Rachel towards himself.
“I think we should leave. Let them talk.” He murmured just loud enough so everyone could hear.
“I agree. None of you should even be in here.” Kurt said bitterly glaring at Puck and Sam.
No one argued, each of them quietly left the room with one last glance at Quinn and Blaine. Kurt was the last to leave he turned and eyed Blaine questioningly.
Quinn watched their silent interaction.
“I’ll be fine.” Blaine said, a tight grin plastered on his face but Quinn knew his clenched fist and tensed shoulders said otherwise, and she realized the same was going through Kurt’s mind when he didn’t automatically respond.
Quinn wanted to say something, to tell Kurt that he would be fine. That she knew Blaine better than he ever could, because although they’d had a complicated relationship she loved Blaine, they had been through so much together, yet her voice had seemed to run away from her.
“Well then I guess I’ll be outside if you need me.” Kurt eventually said. He smiled then quietly shut the door behind him, the soft click projecting in the soundless room.
Blaine looked up expectantly, eyes hardening then softening.
She nervously tucked a strand of her short blond hair behind her ear.
“So are you going to stand there the entire time?” he asked
Quinn laughed nervously and the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding finally rushed out.
She wasn’t sure if he’d done it on purpose, if he even remembered, but suddenly Quinn was six again, lost in a large playroom, with an amused curly haired boy grinning up at her.
*Flashback*
“I don’t want a new friend! I want to see daddy!” the blond misty-eyed girl screamed.
“That’s enough,” her grandmother snapped through gritted teeth
Quinn jumped at the authority in her scratchy voice, but the fear was brief; this was not how it worked, she always got what she wanted, when she wanted it.
“I wont go!” She yelled her voice growing high pitched as she indignantly pulled away.
She stubbornly folded her arms across her chest in a bold act of rebellion and glared into the cold green eyes of the blond, permed, older woman that towered over her.
The neatly presses tweed suit creased, it’s fringe slowly riding above the knee as her grandmother bent down. She pulled a reluctant Quinn back towards her and tilted her chin up so their eyes met. “Now you listen to me,” she said her voice a harsh whisper, “you’re father left you with you grandfather and I for a reason, he said you never listened and from what I’m seeing, he was right. Now, I’m afraid that if you continue acting this way he may never come back for you. So if you ever want to see your precious daddy again, I suggested you stop embarrassing me and go play with the nice boy that’s in the next room. Is that clear?”
She watched fear creep into Quinns fragile mind, her eyes shining with the unshed tears of an abandoned child; she nodded.
“Wonderful,” Mrs. Fabray said grinning pleasantly.
Quinn’s heart beat painfully fast in her chest.
She swallowed the tight lump in her throat as the Nanny ushered her into the next room. She could hear her grandmother already idly chatting away with the woman of the house.
She’d always feared it, and now her grandmother had confirmed it. She had driven her own father away.
She stood in the grand white and royal blue striped room, trembling. Begging herself not to cry but her vision blurred as she took in the dark wooden shelves filled with cars, the train track that circled the room, the small table with crayons in the large crayon box, the one that had every color imaginable, every shade of pink, purple, and green that Quinn adored. She stood there unsure of what to do or where to go.
Then she spotted the boy, presumably the owner of the neatly kept playroom, sitting on a stool next to a gleaming white piano. He was wearing a small vest and corduroy pants. His hair was carefully gelled, his hands neatly folded in his lap as his feet dangled on the piano stool.
He beamed up at her.
Quinn hated him.
He had everything she’d ever wanted a home, a mom, a dad, a real family, which could only mean one thing; he never misbehaved
“So are you going to stand there the entire time?” Blaine wondered aloud as he leaned his elbow on the piano and tilted his chin onto his hand.
Quinn didn’t answer.
Blaine sighed and lightly tapped a finger on a black piano key with his free hand, his feet now swinging in opposite directions.
Quinn quickly brushed away the single tear, running down the corner of eye, with her blue pastel sweater.
“So what if I do?” she asked stubbornly crossing her arms and throwing her nose up in the air.
Blaine rolled his eyes “then I guess you’re the spoiled brat your grandma said you were.” He said shrugging.
Quinn’s eyes lit up angrily “I AM NOT!” she screamed as she lunged towards Blaine.
Blaine quickly shot back, elbow loudly crashing into the piano keys.
The sound was deafening Blaine’s eyes widened his mouth falling open, Quinn stopped abruptly, she was now only inches away from Blaine and the piano.
They both remained frozen, like deer caught in headlights.
Quinn stood perfectly still waiting to be reprimanded for yelling, as Blaine sat there, waiting to be scolded for playing near his mother’s precious piano, but no one came.
They slowly relaxed, his eyes meeting hers, a huge smile on his face as he realized he wasn’t going to be in trouble.
A smile tugged at her lips then Quinn giggled. She couldn’t help it Blaine’s glee was extremely exhilarating.
Blaine quickly slipped off the bench.
“Come on lets go color.” He said putting his hand out.
Quinn momentarily studied him before hesitantly slipping her hand into his. They scurried to the coloring table, glancing at the door to be sure no one had come to yell at them.
And that was it, that was the begging of a complicatedly arranged friendship.
*End of flashback*
“I said; are you going to stand there the entire time?” Blaine asked his head cocked to the side as he curiously stared at Quinn.
“So what if I do.” Quinn replied smirking
“Than I guess you really are the spoiled brat your grandmother said you were.” Blaine recited, eyes crinkling.
Quinn laughed but the tight knot in her throat muffled her laughter.
He watched her sadly, his smile vanishing as quickly as it had come.
“I can’t believe you never said goodbye. You left when I needed you most Quinn. I know we weren’t always there for each other but I needed you.”
Quinn pursed her lips then walked over to Blaine. “I know” she whispered, “it’s just I was dealing with a lot.” She said sorrowfully.
“But why didn’t you tell me? I know we weren’t exactly best friends but we were always there for each other. I could have helped you.”
Quinn shook her head. “No. You couldn’t have but my dad finally did. It’s why I’m here, besides I would have sounded crazy if I’d told you the truth.”
Blaine blinked away his surprise at the mention of her nonexistent father.
“Isn’t that why you never told me?” She asked
Blaine shook his head. “I didn’t know. I mean I always thought I was different but I guess hanging around you made it seem normal. We were privileged Quinn, everyone listened to us. I didn’t try to hurt anyone until recently. Come to think of it-“ Blaine smirked “It all makes sense now.”
“What makes sense?” she asked eyebrows furrowing because the truth was things were even more confusing for her now than ever before.
“Why I never fell for any of your crap.” He said happily
Quinn scoffed “Okay so I was a little controlling big deal.”
“A little?”
She reached for Blaine’s face eyes flickering over the cuts and bruises.
“What happened to your face?”
“Are you trying to change the subject?”
“Blaine,” she said flatly
“Nothing, I had a bit of a rough time getting here.” He said through a smirk.
That smug look on his face tugged at something deep inside her, emotions she thought she’d lost.
Quinn sighed, she had been so self absorbed and miserable she hadn’t realized how much she missed having a friend, how much she missed Blaine.
“Earlier when I said we weren’t friends, I didn’t mean it like that. It came out wrong…we where more than friends.” She said earnestly.
Blaine nodded and pulled Quinn towards him, she found herself losing herself in his touch. It had been so long since she’d let someone hold her.
Her heart jolted.
“Blaine?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re eighteenth birthday, it’s only two months away.”
He laughed and gently pushed back to face her.
“What does that have to do with anything? Do you plan on throwing me a party now?”
“Blaine please don’t joke about this. Haven’t you spoken to Smithe?” she stammered.
“No, not really. Why? Is it important?”
She shook her head, “no.”
“Quinn you just said it was everything, you don’t have to lie to me.” All of the playfulness had now dropped from his tone. He stared at her earnestly, willing her to tell him the truth.
Quinn swallowed, breath shallowing, he only had two months. Would that be enough time? The question pained her. She couldn’t bear to lose him again, not when she had just gotten him back.
“I changed my mind it doesn’t matter.” She said sternly.
Blaine wanted to object, to get her to tell him what she knew, but he quickly realized that was the end of their discussion.
There was no arguing with Quinn Fabray.
***
“Rachel, get away from that door!” Kurt snapped.
“Since when do you have the right to tell me what to do?” she asked spinning around.
“Since you seem to have forgotten what privacy is.” Kurt huffed.
“Kurt something isn’t right about him. I know you normally think I’m crazy but you have to trust me.” Rachel stressed.
Kurt rolled his eyes “what are you talking about?” He asked icily.
Kurt hated when she did this, acted like she knew everything when she clearly didn’t.
“She’s right there is something weird about him.” Finn stated
“Since when are any of us normal?” Kurt asked slightly outraged.
“That’s isn’t what I mean and you know it.” Rachel said her bottom lip falling into its infamous pout.
“What they mean is, it’s weird that he knows Quinn, the girl that killed someone before coming here.” Santana said coldly.
Kurt felt like a part of him was being attacked. Why where they all suddenly being so judgmental? Hadn’t they all made mistakes, he didn’t know why but he trusted Blaine, he trusted his instincts. Whatever conclusions Rachel or any of the others had jumped to were unfair. He had seen how the very thought of hurting someone tortured Blaine. They were wrong. All wrong.
“For god sakes. Rachel burned down an entire building when they didn’t give her, her tenth lead. She technically could have become a mass murderer.” Kurt yelled.
The look on Rachel’s face made him instantly regret his words.
“…Kurt” Rachel whispered.
She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. “y-you clearly don’t want to believe me but- well it’s just-” her sudden loss of words was extremely unnerving. If there was one thing you could count on it was Rachel always having something to say about everything.
“Quinn’s father brought her here. Which means her family knew what she was.”
“So?”
“There are rumors Kurt, things I’m not supposed to talk about-“
“Then don’t” Puck said dismissively.
“But-”
“No.” Puck said, slowly striding towards them, his boots echoing in the Dalton halls.
He had been casually leaned up against a wall with Sam silently watching them bicker.
“Look there’s a reason he nearly attacked me when I stepped into that room.” He said pointing to the door, “I brought him here. I’ve been tracking him down for months. He isn’t a threat to us; if he was he wouldn’t be here. So drop it Rachel.”
Suddenly Finn was by Rachel’s side.
“Hey you don’t have to talk to her like that.” Finn said defensively.
“It’s okay.” Rachel said faintly
“Look, I’m sorry dude but there’s a reason some things have been kept a secret and your girlfriend has got to learn to keep her mouth shut. If there are certain things Smithe isn’t telling everyone then it’s her job to make sure it stays that way.”
The tension between the two was frightening. Both boys stood face to face, jaws clenching, eyes narrowing.
Kurt watched them unsure if he should interfere.
Part of him was screaming to stop them, before things went too far, but another part of him was still perplexed by what he’d just heard. Since when where there secrets at Dalton? What could they be possibly hiding from them?
It had to be big if Rachel was on edge and Puck was obeying orders.
“He’s right.” Rachel said hesitantly, and with that both boys surprisingly backed down, slowly of course, each sizing one another with a look of pure disgust written on their faces.
Puck cleared his throat, “if anyone needs me I’ll be in the dining hall,” he said then he turned and left.
Santana’s eyes quickly darted from them to Puck, however she didn’t dare say a word, even she realized something big was happening.
“We should go too.” Santana said rapidly.
Rachel pursed her lips then nodded. Finn, Rachel and Santana slowly walked away leaving Kurt alone with Sam.
Sam finally looked up, his eyes meeting Kurt’s, as he flashed him a lopsided grin.
“She’s just looking out for you Kurt, we all are.”
***
“So you really have a thing for blue eyes don’t you?”
“What?”
“Kurt. I saw the way you look at him. I haven’t seen you stare at a boy like that since that night we watched Titanic and you couldn’t tear your eyes off Leonardo DiCaprio.”
“I was in awe of his drawing skills.” Blaine said tugging at the wool sleeves of his McQueen leather bomber jacket.
“His sketchpad was not on his face!” Quinn said giggling.
They were both seated on top of the table, feet dangling.
Who needed chairs?
They were overrated.
Blaine eyes wandered around the room. He wondered how long he’d been in there, first with Kurt and now with Quinn.
Suddenly he was anxious; he knew the answer, too long. He needed to leave the comfort of the room.
“So did you ever tell them?”
“Hmm?”
“Did you ever tell your parents you’re gay?”
It was funny, he’d never really told Quinn. In fact they had dated on and off. His parents loved the idea of them being together almost as much as Quinn’s grandparents, but they’d both known the truth; it was their biggest unspoken secret, Blaine was gay.
“Yeah I eventually told them.”
“How’d they take it?”
Blaine shrugged “they added it to their lists of disappointments.”
“I’m sorry.” She whispered as she gently placed her head on his shoulder.
He shrugged it off smiling meekly down at Quinn. This wasn’t the time to pity himself. He knew who he was and he wasn’t ashamed of it, he’d had time to cope with his father’s hatred and his mother’s detachment, there was no use in wallowing in it now.
“I think it’s time I go apologize to Smithe. I sort of ran off on him and there are things I need to sort out.” Blaine said pushing himself off the table.
He held out his hand for Quinn, who gracefully slipped off the table.
“Do you need me to go with you?”
He shook his head “No I’ll be fine. Besides I think Kurt’s out there waiting for me.”
Quinn gasped and Blaine spun around eyes wide,
“I’ve been replaced.” She said feigning hurt.
Blaine laughed he really was on edge here.
She bit her bottom lip and smiled at him Blaine decided to play along.
“Oh please, you my dear are irreplaceable.” he quipped.
Quinn rolled her eyes and allowed him to open the door for her.
“Hey you started it.” He said chuckling.
Blaine’s smile faltered when the moment he saw Kurt seated on the cold marble floor with a blond boy. It was the same boy he’d seen him with earlier. Kurt’s legs where crossed, eyes closed, face at peace as he leaned towards the other boy.
“Oh relax, he’s straight.” Quinn whispered as she brushed past him.
Blaine had wanted to tell her he wasn’t jealous but Kurt’s head shot up as she spoke.
“Where is everyone?” Quinn asked a little more loudly
The blond boy stood up and ran a hand through his hair. “They’re uh- in the dining hall.” He said sleepily.
Blaine watched Kurt lazily stand up, his bright glossy eyes landing on him.
Blaine smiled warmly.
“Thanks for waiting out here.”
“I keep my promises.” Kurt said smiling sweetly.
There was a short awkward silence before Sam stepped in, “Quinn and I are going to go to the dinning hall we’ll see you two later. Kurt?”
“Yeah?”
“You should probably go change out of your training uniform.” He said subtly hinting at something Blaine didn’t catch.
“Um okay.” Kurt said looking a bit flustered.
Sam nodded sternly.
“You coming?” he asked Quinn
Blaine watched her falter. It was something he’d never seen her do before.
“Oh. Right. Of course.” She said a little too cheerfully.
Blaine watched her anxiously. He had sensed that Quinn had changed and now he wanted to know why. Something about her demeanor screamed desperation. There were so many things he hadn’t asked her, so many unanswered questions that for a second he contemplated asking her to stay with him, but he knew he would have time for that later.
Now is not the time, he told himself, yet he needed her to know he was fine, and that she would be too.
So he grabbed her by the hand and gently squeezed her wrists, “I’ll see you soon okay?”
She nodded her mouth turned into overly exaggerated smile, “if you need me-”
“I know where to find you,” he said “don’t worry about me I can take care of myself, now go,” he said as he cocked his head, motioning her to follow Sam.
Blaine let out a shaky sigh of relief as she left.
“So are you ready to go to Smithe’s office or…”
“I’m ready.” Blaine stated.
“Okay. Well the staircase to my room is by his office so I could walk with you ’til there or I can walk you to his office if you need me to.”
“The staircase is fine.” Blaine said definitively.
They walked quietly while Blaine attempted to collect his thoughts and emotions. It was crazy how momentarily normal he felt. Violent thoughts no longer rushed through his head, he no longer felt out of control, if he hadn’t spent the last couple hours convincing himself he belonged here he might have thought he didn’t belong at all, but Blaine was beginning to sense the cycle. He only lost control when he was angry. Right now he was a lot of things but anger did not fit the description.
“Well this is me.” Kurt said balancing on the heels of his shoes as he stood in front of a spiral staircase. “Smithe’s office is just down this hall and through that door. I can still go with you if you want.”
“I’m sure I can walk down a corridor on my own.” Blaine said jokingly
Kurt laughed, “then I guess I’ll see you around.”
Blaine nodded.
He watched as Kurt turned and headed up the stairs.
“Wait!”
Kurt whipped around startled.
Blaine stifled a laugh.
“Sorry I just thought…oh god this is dumb. Amidst my rage and tears we uh, never formally introduced ourselves. And well… My name’s Blaine” he said extending his hand and blushing profusely.
Kurt smiled fondly and extended his own, their hands easily slipped into one another’s.
“Kurt.”