“Blaine and I...” he suddenly let out a huge sob and covered his eyes. She ran up the stairs and held him tight in a friendly hug, rubbing his back and squeezing even tighter.

“Come with me,” she whispered and took him by the hand up to her apartment. They walked in and she locked the door behind them. “Sit down, don't worry... I won't tell Blaine you're here. I think you need to tell me what happened. But first, I'm going to get some chips, put in a pizza and relax, okay?” Kurt nodded and sniffled, trying to stop the tears from falling, but he couldn't.

Amy put the pizza in the oven and sat down on the sofa next to Kurt with the chips and two glasses of diet coke.

“Now obviously you and Blaine have had a fight... about the girls?” she guessed, and Kurt nodded.

“He just... it's obvious he doesn't know me, you know? If he thought I'd find it funny.” Amy nodded. “And I admired him, you know? He was strong, and gay... and sure of everything and now I find out that... well... he isn't.” Kurt sighed and he felt the tears bubble up in his throat.

“I get that you're mad. I would be, it was a douche-y thing for him to do but... you can't put him on a pedestal like that, Kurt. If you do... then whatever he does, he's going to disappoint you, he's not perfect. He's going to act strong, but he's not. He's going to pretend to be sure, but he wasn't always and he still isn't, and... well as for the gay thing... I'm pretty sure he's gay,” she finished. Kurt looked down. Maybe Amy was right.

“And... if you are mad... why are you here?” Kurt looked away. Amy sighed. “Oh, Kurt.”

“I missed him, so the only reason I had to come over here was-”

“Sex,” Amy answered. Kurt nodded.

“Not full sex, just a blowjob but I'm still mad at him but... I really missed him, Amy. Then he started acting all... dominatrix-y about it and it freaked me out a little.” Amy's eyebrows shot up to her hair.

“Blaine? As in... Blaine Anderson? Dominatrix? ...What?” she asked. Kurt shrugged.

“I want to forgive him but-”

“Then forgive him, Kurt. Yeah, what he did was bad but it's not worth breaking up over,” Amy advised. Kurt nodded.

“But if I just roll over and forgive him now, what's to say he won't do something like this in the future? If he thinks it just... doesn't bother me?” Kurt asked. Amy shrugged.

“He's human, Kurt. We make mistakes, sometimes we make them twice... sometimes we don't. It's up to you if you're willing to risk it to be together,” Amy told him. Kurt swallowed hard and nodded. “I hope you don't mind, I invited a friend that might be able to help you. Her name's Alissa... She went through what you're going through right now. She fell hard for her science professor in college but unlike Blaine... he was married and didn't return her feelings. I think she might be able to help you to see a little clearer about your whole situation,” Amy confessed. Kurt nodded.

“Thanks, Amy.” He did his best to smile and she smiled back. A little while later, Amy's friend arrived and it all became very awkward. Kurt shuffled in his seat. He didn't know what to do. He was about to get a lecture from a complete stranger about his secret relationship with his older, male teacher. Yep... normal.

“Kurt, I know this must seem weird to you considering that you don't know me but just know that I completely get where you're coming from,” Alissa started. “I was in the exact same position as you when I was in college and it just doesn't get easier, unfortunately. What you and Blaine have got yourself into is really complicated and won't be accepted by everyone,” she sighed. Kurt's shoulders slumped.

“After a while, if you decide that you can carry on in this relationship and you feel that you and Blaine have reached the point when you want to become... sexually active-”

Oh God! She's going to have 'the talk' with me, Kurt thought. I don't even know this woman!

“Then that's a whole new can of worms... suddenly Blaine's a rapist and no one is listening to you-”

“A rapist? Wait, what? We're far off from having sex, Alissa,” Kurt informed her. She nodded. Geez, first off Kurt just wasn't sure Blaine knew about him and now Blaine's a rapist?!

“Well okay, I mean that's up to you guys but as your relationship goes on and you're comfortable with each other, you may reach the point when you want to tell people, maybe your parents, but you just need to be prepared in case your parents are some of the people that see this as... inappropriate. Are you willing to lose your family for you and Blaine to stay together?” Kurt's eyebrows furrowed. Alissa sighed again and nodded.

“I know this is a lot to take in and it may seem that I'm being harsh with these questions but unfortunately I'm not... I'm being real, I'm telling you the truth, Kurt. These are the things you really need to think about before you and Blaine get serious.” Kurt nodded. He felt like the little bit of world he had left was falling down around him. He already lost his mom... he couldn't lose his dad too!

But... he cared a lot for Blaine... really, a lot.

“Unlike you, my 'relationship' with my teacher in college didn't get further than a few schoolgirl fantasies that I had. He was married and made it very clear to me that nothing was going to happen, so I didn't go through the things you are right now but believe me, I know how you're feeling. You're confused because you want to like him but you feel like you shouldnt. Your friends are judging you for dating a teacher and saying that he's not right for you, or just using you for sex.” Kurt nodded.

“It isn't fun, Kurt. That's putting it simply but at the end of the day, it's you and Blaine in the relationship... no one else, so it's up to you and Blaine to figure it out and figure out if it's even worth all the drama. Basically, Kurt... if you love Blaine and feel like you can't live without him, then screw what other people think, but you need to ask yourself the question... Can you live without him?” Alissa finished. Kurt had a blank look on his face. This was so much information to take in and he felt he couldn't deal with it.

He just... shut down.

“Kurt? Kurt! Are you okay?” Amy asked. He nodded slightly but his eyes remained glassed over. He blinked slowly as if he was trying to feed all this new information into his mind. “So...?” Amy asked. Suddenly Kurt shook his head out of his daze and stared at her.

“I'm sorry, what?” he asked, confused more than anything.

“So... what's the answer?” Amy prompted. He thought back to the question Alissa asked him.

Can you live without him?

The question swirled around in his mind.

Can you live without him?

- - - - -

“Hey buddy! What's wrong?” Blaine asked, crouching down to Kurt. Kurt sighed and rubbed his eyes, which were sore from the tears.

“I miss my mommy, Blaine. I heard my dad crying last night, he does that sometimes,” Kurt confessed. Blaine nodded in understanding. “Do you think there's a God?” Kurt asked. Blaine's eyebrows raised.

“That's a funny question... why are you asking?” Kurt sniffled and rubbed his small, red nose.

“Because my dad said that God took my mom up in heaven to be an angel for him because she was too good to just be normal.” Blaine nodded.

“Well I knew your mom, Kurt and she was a special lady. Really special, definitely angel material, I can see why God chose her.” Blaine smiled a small smile but Kurt didn't smile back.

“I miss her,” Kurt repeated.

“I know you do, buddy, and your dad does too, that's why you have to be real brave for him, okay? He needs you around because you look exactly like your mommy. And you know what else? God only picks the best to be angels, he took my brother and man, he was the best,” Blaine told him.

“He took your brother?!” Kurt asked, shocked. Blaine nodded, small tears lingering inside his eyes.

“Yeah, Mark, he was 3 years older than me and he was awesome. But when he was 9... we were playing soccer in the front garden and I was only 6 and I kicked the ball into the road and he went to get it... and got hit by a car.” Blaine swallowed the threatening tears.

“A car?” Kurt asked, his little heart breaking for his older friend. Blaine nodded, clearing his throat.

“I miss him, just like you miss your mom. You'll never stop missing her, Kurt but I promise, it'll get easier, okay buddy?” Blaine reassured him. Kurt nodded.

“My mom can look after your brother in heaven now, Blaine.” Kurt smiled, wiping the fallen tears. Blaine nodded and smiled a sad smile.

“Yeah, she can, Kurt. Thanks.”

Kurt didn't believe in God, but he did believe in his mom.

- - - - -

Can you live without him?

Can you live without him?

Can you live without him?

“I... I d-don't know.”