The room was dark; it had been dark for the past two weeks. The worst two weeks of his life if you asked him. From the moment he got home from trying to right his wrong, Blaine Anderson realized he was more alone than ever. The night at Battery Park was nothing short of a nightmare, a nightmare that he orchestrated. He knew what steps he took to get him there but as it was all happening it was almost like it was happening to someone else. It seemed that when Blaine was out of choices he gave in to his own insecurities the biggest one being the fact that Kurt might just not need him anymore. He thought to himself on the plane ride to New York if only Kurt had kept their phone/ Skype dates, if only he was around to listen to his heartbreak but how foolish was it for him to justify betraying the love of his life. So he went there to come clean, to ask for forgiveness, to lay out his mistake and hope that by some grace of God Kurt would forgive him, he didn’t. 

The most painful thing to do was watch Kurt sob and it went by in slow motion as he tried to run after him; Ending the night falling asleep next to each other but not saying a word. In the morning he saw Kurt asleep on the chair by the door and woke him up to talk but at one point Kurt just got up and walked out and he knew it was his turn to leave. All this which has led to closed doors and pulled curtains, staring aimlessly at the ceiling and then to his nightstand that still holds the framed picture of his boyfriend? It was easy for Blaine to go into himself, since he got back from New York he isolated himself from everybody not knowing who to confide in. He walked the halls of a school that he came to for Kurt, surrounded by people who he met through Kurt and were Kurt’s friends. It felt like he would never be able to get away, even if he wanted to. So the isolation was really his own brand of punishment, he wanted to feel alone forever, he wanted to feel the pain he caused Kurt even if it was teenage drama at its best it was what he wanted.

“Honey, dinner’s ready!” he heard his mother yell.

 “I’m not hungry” he responded, at that moment the door creaked and let in some light.

“Are you sure Squirt?” the familiar voice of his brother Cooper soon followed and at that Blaine propped up on his elbows and turned on his bedside lamp

“Coop?” he asked not sure if the hours of darkness had somehow blended dreams and reality. “Yes buddy…mom called me a few days ago not sure if..” Blaine didn’t let a second pass by before he surged to his brother with a bone crushing hug.

“Coop..” he uttered voice cracking in protest. Cooper picked up where he left off “..not sure if you were up for seeing me, I just felt like you might need your big brothers help right now.” At those words Blaine released the sob he was holding in

“I messed everything up Coop, I ..didn’t .. I wasn’t thinking” was all he got out as Cooper held his brother closer, rubbing small circles into his back for reassurance. “I know Squirt, but it will all be alright, you’ll see” They held on like that for a couple of minutes, with the sobs silencing before breaking out again. After about half an hour Cooper was able to calm Blaine enough to get him to through most of the story.

“His face just broke, and I swear Coop it was like at that moment I understood why it was called heartbreak, it was the most intense sadness that ran through me, I just kept thinking I did that to him. I caused that..” Blaine’s voice faltered and Cooper decided that they had enough of the details for the night.

“Blainers, I know you’re in pain, but you are a teenager, you made a mistake, you can’t beat yourself up forever” he stared at his little brother, intently before finishing his point. “You know you are in high school, you weren’t going to stay together your whole life” Blaine shuttered at those words, he knew how stupidly cliché it must sound for a teenager to declare someone the love of their life before even really starting to live but if Blaine wasn’t 100% sure of it before he was now. It was devastating to think that he had to go through this hell to be certain but Blaine was always so oblivious to the obvious but he knew now and that is why it made everything so much worse. The silence after his brother’s statement was lingering and Cooper knew he had struck a chord, he continued hoping to stray off the topic of forever and into moving on. “Trust me Blaine, your first love always hurts the worst” Blaine quickly got off the bed and started pacing back and forth in his room. “What if I don’t want this to be my first love but my last?” Cooper tried to hide the eye roll that came after that statement.

“He won’t even talk to me?”

“Well would you?”

Blaine surprised by Coop’s question “.. of course I would.” Cooper got up to meet Blaine across the room “ Would you really though? Think about what you did, how you presented it, wouldn’t you want time. Don’t you at least think he deserves that?”

Time the one thing that Blaine didn’t feel he had the thing that he didn’t understand. If he understood time he would have waited to talk to Kurt before making a rash decision about their relationship. The thing was that before Kurt had left time always seemed to be on his side, spending all day with Kurt in school, spending long weekends with Kurt while his parents were away; he seemed to always have enough time. The last four months since Kurt had left though there was never time for anything.  Phone calls that were too short, long days without speaking, and even worse without seeing, touching, kissing, ugh it was just too much and Blaine definitely blamed time. Reflecting on his brothers words Blaine realized that maybe he had not given any idea to the concept of Kurt needing time. “Of course, I know he needs time but every minute that passes by that I don’t hear from him I feel like I am losing air” realizing how cheesy that was he looked over to catch his brother obvious eye roll

“Blainers don’t be so dramatic” Cooper quipped, he walked over to his bed and sat back down “You think that constant text and emails saying I’m sorry will win Kurt back? I think you set the bar pretty high with romantic gestures when you serenaded him every step of his high school career, I don’t really think you can sing yourself out of this one so just give him time” Blaine looked around the dark room, only illuminated by his small bedside lamp, the one sitting next to that picture of Kurt. “Time” he repeated finally meeting Coopers eyes and sighed “… maybe you are right” Cooper reached over to put his hands on his brother’s shoulder in a comforting manner “I am, you’ll see and if you don’t hear from him in the next two weeks I’ll personally buy you a train ticket to New York” The last few words out of Cooper’s mouth brought a small smile to Blaine’s face, the first real smile he had in two weeks.