He didn't get it. Obviously this wasn't the first time he had ever jerked off. He didn't do it too often – surely not as often as most other guys his age – because he had other ways to relieve his built up tension, but he was still a teenage guy.

He had given himself a pretty intense orgasm – it had started out deep in his belly and by the time it was over, his toes were curling in his sheets, his chest was heaving and he had Blaine's name on his lips.

Thinking about Blaine usually had that effect on him. He went as far as imagining Blaine naked, hard, pressed up against him – sweaty and begging to fuck him.

Of course, they weren't anywhere near that, yet. But Kurt could think about whatever he wanted, especially if it involved his incredibly sexy boyfriend.

He sighed and pulled a couple of tissues from the box on his nightstand to wipe himself up. If he could jerk off and not have any problems controlling himself…why was it such an issue whenever he was intimate with Blaine?

He knew it was obviously different. Being intimate with someone – your lover – was on a completely different level than masturbating. What was frustrating and confusing is that yes, it was a completely different…thing…but…it wasn't.

Tugging up his pajama pants back over his hips, Kurt glanced over at his bookshelf across the room and pulled a photo of his mother over to himself.

"I really wish you were here," he whispered as he traced the outline of her face with a finger over the glass. "I really don't want to talk to dad about this stuff… and I have no idea if he'll even have any answers."

He had to figure out something, he knew. Ever since his birthday when he had blown the fuse in his bedroom he hadn't gone any further with Blaine other than some pretty heavy kissing. Whenever he'd start to feel himself fray a little, he'd pull back and cool off.

Thankfully he had a wonderful boyfriend who was perfectly content with kissing and understood that Kurt had some control issues to work out. At least, he was pretty sure Blaine understood.

Some days – okay, a lot of days – he wondered what he did to get a guy like Blaine Anderson. Because Blaine was so amazingly understanding and…perfect – Kurt felt his heart squeeze in his chest every time he started really thinking about it.

"You'd really like Blaine." Kurt smiled at the picture frame. "He's…he's everything, mom. I know it really hasn't been that long, but – I love him. I think I'll take him to meet you soon."

He sent the picture back to its spot on the bookshelf and thunked his head against his pillows. As mortifying as it was going to be, he was going to have to talk to his dad.

Kurt was…stalling.

Warbler practice had gone back down to just twice a week since they didn't have to prepare for Nationals or anything, so Kurt had quite a few free evenings available to talk to his dad.

He conveniently wasn't taking advantage of them.

He also wasn't spending any time with Blaine outside of school, which was making his heart ache a little, but until he figured this whole thing out…being alone with Blaine was driving him crazy. His excuse for Blaine was that his dad needed an extra hand in the shop for the week – which wasn't exactly a lie, one of the guys was out on vacation so Kurt volunteered to help out in his absence. Finn could've easily covered instead – but Kurt needed a chance to talk to his dad – and every night when the shop closed he chickened out.

By the end of the week he knew he was just going to have to just go for it. He could barely stand not seeing Blaine and he knew Blaine was stressing a bit about the real reason as to why Kurt was putting some distance between them.

Especially since Kurt knew Blaine was trying to plan something special for Valentine's Day.

So, Kurt waited until the rest of the guys left after closing and mostly pretended to still be busy underneath a car. He heard his dad walk over to him and kick his feet.

"Want to tell me why you've been hangin' around here all week and not with Blaine?"

Kurt sighed and rolled himself out from underneath the car. He looked up at his dad and took a deep breath. "I need to talk to you."

Burt nodded and held out his hand to help pull Kurt up. "I figured as much…and it must be something serious if you're pussy footin' around. Just spit it out, kid. Whatever it is, I can handle it."

Kurt brushed his hands against his thighs and leaned against the car he was just underneath. "Dad, we've always been able to talk to each other about…anything, right?"

Burt nodded and folded his arms across his chest. "By how embarrassed you look I have a feeling I know where this is going."

Cursing his easily flushed cheeks, Kurt sighed. "This is not exactly a conversation I want to be having with my father."

"Something tells me we're going to have it anyway, so go ahead," Burt waved his hand. "I promise this is probably more awkward for me than you."

"I doubt it," Kurt muttered. "I can't seem to…control myself when BlaineandIdothings," he said in a rush, and scrubbed his face with his hands, instantly regretting the habitual action because his hands were filthy.

Burt huffed out a laugh and shook his head. "I'm sorry, what? Kurt, I didn't understand a word you just said."

Kurt was feeling more mortified the longer he stood there under his father's gaze and he knew his face was as red as it could possibly get. "Whenever Blaine and I… you know, I can't control myself."

Burt cocked his head to the side slightly and rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. "You mean to tell me the two of you kids are having sex?"

"What? No!" Kurt's eyes widened and he shook his head. "N-no. We're not having s-sex, dad. We're just…ugh. I'm not going to… go into details. Can we just not talk about that? And just focus on the other part? I don't know what to do and—"

Burt held up his hands. "Kid, calm down. I'm not… I'm not upset. It's okay. As long as you're being safe, and you remember what we talked about…about the fact that you matter—"

"Dad—"

"Cut it out, let me talk. Now I'm not na�ve enough to think that you two sleep in different beds-don't look at me like that, I was a teenager once too- but stuff like this," Burt sighed. "I know it's difficult to talk to me about, and I know you'd prefer your mother…" he trailed off and shook his head. "I think there's something at home that can better explain than I can, so get out of those coveralls and let's head home."

From Kurt:

Can I come over?

From Blaine:

Yes, of course! Is everything okay?

From Kurt:

Yep. I talked to my dad, and I have something I need to talk to you about.

From Blaine:

That sounds ominous…should I be worried?

From Kurt:

It's not bad, we just need to talk. And I have something you should see. Can I stay the night?

From Blaine:

You know you don't ever have to ask that

From Kurt:

Okay. Be there soon.

From Blaine:

Love you. Xoxo

Kurt pocketed his phone and quickly packed an overnight bag. His hands shook as he grabbed the letter and his keys.

Out of everything, he hadn't expected this. And now his nerves were shot to hell because he had to share the news with his boyfriend which felt more terrifying than approaching his dad about it in the first place.

He left the house in a dazed rush, gave a half-hearted wave to his dad and Carole in the living room and quickly pulled the front door closed behind him before they had a chance to really say anything more to him. He had made it pretty clear that he needed Blaine and he knew his dad understood that.

He was lucky that it wasn't snowing and the roads were clear, because he drove to Blaine's house in a fog. It almost surprised him when he pulled up to the gate because he didn't really realize he was already there. After punching in the code (Blaine had given it to him after New Year's), he drove up the driveway and noticed Blaine was outside waiting for him.

"Blaine..what-what are you doing out here?" Kurt asked when he stepped out of his car. "It's not exactly warm out."

Blaine was at Kurt's side in a flash, and looked like he was unsure if he could touch him or not. "Kurt just, tell me. I-I can handle it. Well, no I can't. But, if it's what you want, then, I won't stop you…but I don't want you to just torture me by drawing it out overnight. Just-"

"Blaine!" Kurt grabbed Blaine by the shoulders and shook him slightly. "Honey, what on earth are you talking about?"

A confused look fell over Blaine's face and for the first time Kurt noticed just how red Blaine's eyes were, like he had been crying. Or he had been trying not to cry.

"You're coming to break up with me, right?" Blaine's shoulders fell and his lip trembled. "That's why you've been-"

"You stop it right there, Blaine Anderson," Kurt said firmly. He pulled Blaine into a tight hug and shook his head. "I'm sorry this week has been… miserable. I am definitely not breaking up with you, god. How could you… no, don't even think that."

Blaine laughed slightly, and it sounded forced. "Okay, so maybe I was being a little bit overdramatic."

Kurt leaned back a little and arched an eyebrow. "A little? Okay, how about we continue this inside, you're shivering. We can't all be pretty much immune to temperatures like this like I am."

A dopey grin spread over Blaine's face as Kurt grabbed his bag from the backseat. "You called me honey."

Kurt's hand stilled on the door and he turned toward Blaine. "W-was that okay? It just kinda slipped out."

Blaine reached out and pushed the car door closed. He grabbed Kurt's free hand and squeezed. "Baby, it's more than okay."

Kurt had temporarily forgotten his nervousness out in the driveway but once he had settled in Blaine's bedroom everything flooded back again. He closed his eyes and clutched the letter in his inside jacket pocket.

"Okay, Kurt? You're not making me feeling any better about what I was worried about," Blaine said from his spot on his bed. "Can you stop pacing and come sit down with me?"

Kurt stilled and turned towards Blaine. "I promise you, I'm not… Blaine, why would you think that I'd be coming over here to break up with you?"

Blaine bit his lip and lowered his eyes to his hands, which were picking at his duvet. "I…I don't know. This week," he sighed. "You've just been so…distant. And I know you said you were just working, but I couldn't help but think you were…pulling away. You even seemed…off at school."

Kurt climbed up onto Blaine's bed and settled himself next to Blaine. "I'm sorry I scared you, I didn't mean to," he said softly, leaning over to press a soft kiss against Blaine's cheek. "Like I said, I talked to my dad. And there's something that you should read."

Kurt reached into his jacket and pulled out the letter. Blaine gasped when he saw it.

"Is…is that another one from your mom?"

Nodding, Kurt handed it over to Blaine and leaned back against the pile of pillows behind him. "It explains…how to control myself. With you. And, um," he said softly. "Why it happens… with you. I guess. Don't freak out?"

My darling Kurt,

By now, you've met your true love. I just know he's amazing, because you deserve nothing less. (Yes, my darling, I've known all along. And don't ever fret about it, you're my son and I love you, no matter what)

I can only imagine what it took for you to talk to your father for you to receive this letter. He was never very eloquent with his words on this subject. I can't imagine he got any better over the years. I'd like to say I hope you're well into your twenties (your father will say thirties, I'm sure) if you're reading this, but deep down, I know that's not true. However old you are, my darling, I am so happy that you have found him.

I also know why you're reading this, and first of all let me explain why it happens. It can be very confusing, especially if you have sexual experiences with someone other than him and it doesn't happen.

By now I'm sure you're aware of the strong connection you have with him. That's part of the reason, my darling. Anyone else (and I'm not one to judge, my love, but remember that you matter and I would hope that you are not one for "flings") that you do not share that connection with, this will not happen.

That connection is special, and it is to be cherished. But it can be explosive; as I'm sure you've figured out. Don't be embarrassed, my darling. It is completely natural. Of course, by reading this, you want to know how to solve your outbreaks, I'm sure. Not the best way to enjoy yourself, is it, my darling? (Trust me, I know. I only wish I could be there for you during this time. I know how difficult it is.)

This is something you need to share with your partner. Because it involves a certain level of trust, and I would hope that if you're at that place in your relationship that you two already trust each other with everything.

This is long, I know, but I need you to understand how important this is. For both of you. As important as being intimate together is, this connection you share makes it even more so.

To be intimate with your partner without having an outbreak, you need to open up yourself to him, and he needs to do the same. During intimacy, you will need to open the connection to his mind and keep it open. This will force your body to focus, and you will be able to be with him without having to worry about breaking anything.

This is incredibly intimate, my darling. As you will realize when you share this with your partner. You will become even closer afterwards. You will not have to do this every time, as it is just like everything else…with practice, you will learn to control yourself.

I hope you realize what a special thing you have with him, my darling son. Cherish it, hold on to it, and always remember it. I only wish I was there to see you fall in love like this, because I know how beautiful it is.

Love always,

Mom

Blaine slowly set down the letter beside him. "Kurt, I—"

Kurt sat up and thumbed away a tear on Blaine's cheek. "It's okay to be a little…overwhelmed. I know I was."

Twisting slightly to face Kurt, Blaine brought his hands up to cup Kurt's face. "Kurt, this…your mom, I don't even know what to say right now."

"Are you freaked out?" Kurt asked softly. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he felt the slight tremble of Blaine's hands on his cheeks.

Blaine shook his head. "No, baby…of course not. I love you. I know what we have is special. What are you thinking right now? Talk to me."

Kurt inhaled deeply and leaned into Blaine, resting his head on Blaine's shoulder. He felt comforted when Blaine's arms came around his shoulders and held him tight. "The fact that she knew I was gay and was okay with it? Blaine that's just… I always wondered what she'd think, I mean…when I came out to my dad he always said that mom would've been just fine with it. But to actually hear it from her? That's…" he trailed off and sniffed.

"She loved you, baby. She would've been very proud of the man you've become," Blaine said, his voice soft and smooth in Kurt's ears. "I just know it."

"Thanks," Kurt smiled. "And the things she said… about us? You're okay with all of that?"

Blaine tightened his arms and nodded. "You know how in love with you I am, and we may not be ready for everything yet, but I trust you…Kurt, I am okay with anything we have to do to help you."

"I love you too," Kurt breathed. "And I know it's… asking a lot, for me to read your mind while we… while we're—"

"Kurt," Blaine interrupted, and almost came out like a laugh. "I trust you, okay? I trust us. This is only going to bring us closer together, right? I'd say it's pretty perfect."

Kurt sighed and felt his stomach flip in his belly. "You always know exactly what to say."

"Well," Blaine smiled and leaned back so he could see Kurt's face. "I'm glad you think so," he leaned in and pressed his lips against Kurt's quickly, "I try to say what I think you need to hear."

Closing his eyes briefly, Kurt shook his head and wondered yet again just where Blaine Anderson even came from. He opened his eyes and his breath caught in his throat when he met Blaine's gaze. "This wasn't the only thing I talked to my dad about."

Blaine cocked his head to the side and lifted an eyebrow in question. "Oh?"

"I talked to him about Dalton, and going back to McKinley at some point," Kurt said, and looked down at their laps, unable to look at Blaine in the eyes any longer.

Blaine's breath hitched and his hands stilled. "A-and?"

Kurt bit his lip. "Even though I'm better at controlling myself than I was, and I would be able to handle myself better now… I love being at Dalton. And I love being with you. Do I miss my friends? Of course, but dad said he was more than happy to continue paying for Dalton if I was happy there."

"Oh Kurt," Blaine said, lifting Kurt's chin up with his fingers and leaning in to kiss him. He twisted his head to the side and parted his lips to deepen the kiss.

Kurt eagerly responded, his hands fisting in Blaine's t-shirt and tugging him so they both fell against the bed. He started trailing kisses along Blaine's jaw, his tongue darting out to lick at the barely there stubble he felt. "I don't…I don't think we should try anything tonight, especially since your house isn't empty, and I don't know what will happen—"

Blaine leaned his head back to give Kurt better access to his neck and his hand, which had fallen to Kurt's waist, tightened its grip when Kurt nipped at his earlobe. "Mhm, keep doing that and we'll have to find out anyway," he laughed.

Kurt pulled back and propped himself up on one elbow. He smiled at Blaine and reached up with his free hand to card his fingers through Blaine's hair, occasionally twisting the curls around his fingers. "How about we go down, see if Marta will make us some of that amazing hot chocolate and we curl up in the theater room for a while and watch something? I just want to be close to you right now, and it's been an emotional day."

"Anything you want, my love," Blaine smiled and leaned up to kiss the tip of Kurt's nose. "Anything you want."

Kurt's eyes lit up and he grinned. "Oh? So…you'll tell me what you have planned for Valentine's Day?"

Blaine laughed and hopped off the bed. "Not a chance."