Part One: Bananas Foster French Toast

"The worst feeling in life is not being lonely. It's being forgotten by the people you could never forget." --Unknown

: : : :

Kurt's heart thumped against his chest; his breath was shaky and his silk sleep mask felt damp against his cheek. Normally, Kurt tried to turn in early before school. He was a dreadfully irate grouch in the morning and knew that adequate beauty sleep was important not only for his preventive daily skin regime but also to keep his morning mood in check. Tonight, however, it seemed like sleep would be impossible. He was too excited.

His birthday was creeping closer — a few short hours away — and not just any birthday either, his 17th birthday. Kurt was finally going to be a man, an adult, at least in his father's eyes and in the wizarding world, even if the state of Ohio didn't agree with him.

Up until now, his high school experience had been far from rewarding. Joining Glee club was probably the best and worst thing ever to happen to him, considering it was social suicide—but Kurt figured that being the only out and proud gay kid at McKinley already made him a target—so he might as well indulge in his love of show tunes and ballads. Still, Kurt had a feeling in his gut that had nothing to do with the weird leftover meatloaf he had eaten for dinner, which told him things were going to change. For the better. Something was coming. Something Big. And Kurt could not be happier.

He turned his head and peeked at his alarm clock, flashing bright blue numbers on his nightstand. 11:53. He sighed heavily and reached for his phone.

No new messages.

Kurt frowned and was a bit disappointed that his slew of birthday messages hadn't started arriving yet, but it was fine. There were still seven minutes left until his birthday. He was certain that at the stroke of midnight his phone would start ringing and his inbox would overflow with messages. He just needed to be patient and relax.

Kurt took another series of deep breaths and tried to calm himself. Seven minutes would pass quickly and he wanted to be prepared once his phone started ringing. He needed to sound delighted but surprised, appreciative but not over anxious like he was clutching his phone desperately and willing it to ring. That would never do even if it were true.

At 12:00:01 am exactly Kurt's phone vibrated with a cacophony of samba music. He had set a reminder and alarm to himself, like he would forget.

"I'm 17!" Kurt cried. "Happy Birthday to me!"

He had an urge to jump out of bed and dance around his room in his underwear like he had done last year on his birthday, but he decided that 17 was so much more mature than 16 and a man of his maturity and stature should not indulge in such sophomoric and childish behavior. Instead, he closed his eyes, lay his head back on his pillow, and quietly sang Happy Birthday to himself. He tried not to think about his mother as his birthday was one of those days that he missed her the most, but shutting down his mind turned out to be impossible. He couldn't stop thinking about her.

Every year, at midnight exactly, Kurt's mother would come into his room and wake him with the most beautiful version of Happy Birthday he'd ever heard, her voice a rich and melodic soprano. He knew that it was stupid to dwell in the past, to think about all the ways his life had changed since his mother's death. It had been so long ago. Still, no matter how long it was, Kurt missed his mother everyday of his life.

Everyone else had moved on; after all, it was years since his death. He knew that he should let go, but sometimes it was too difficult. His father had moved on; he had Carole now, but how was Kurt supposed to move on? Carole was a lovely woman, but she would never be his mother. And maybe it was stupid, and maybe even completely irrational, but Carole was so different, the complete opposite of her, and so much more like his father, that it felt like accepting Carole in his life was just another away of erasing his mother.

Mom had always told him he was special, one of kind, a unique snowflake, just like her. How was he supposed to continue being a unique snowflake without her?

"Mom," Kurt said, turning to his nightstand and addressing his favorite picture of her, "I wish you were here." He picked the picture off the nightstand and cradled it to his chest. "I'm 17 now, Mom. I hope..." Kurt's voice cracked, his throat growing tight. "I hope you're proud of me." He removed the picture from his chest and placed a kiss right on top of his mother's face. "I love you, Mom."

Carefully, he returned his mother's picture to the nightstand and checked the time. 12:35. That should be more than enough time for some messages. He grabbed his phone, quickly checking his texts, email, and facebook wall.

No new messages.

With a loud sigh, Kurt returned his phone to his nightstand and went to sleep.

: : : :

The infernal buzzing of Kurt's alarm clock roused him from sleep. Usually, Kurt readjusted his sleeping mask, which no matter how tight he tied it always wound up hanging off his face, squishing his hair in the worst possible way, and then he went straight back to sleep, snoozing his alarm for at least another 15 minutes. Not today. Today, Kurt ripped his sleep mask off and practically jumped out of bed. He had scheduled his alarm a full hour earlier in order to give him time to get ready and have breakfast with his father, as was their morning birthday ritual.

Once out of bed, he stretched his long limbs behind his head; he even pulled the curtains open from his window, allowing the warm rays of sun to streak into the room. Nothing could ruin his mood. After surveying the damage to his hair, Kurt grabbed his phone but quickly put it back on the table, knowing that if he started replying to birthday messages, he would lose too much time. His messages would have to wait until he was out of the shower. That way, he could respond to them while he was moisturizing.

After a soothing hot shower, Kurt dried his hair and placed some anti-frizz serum in it to tame it until he was ready to style. He put on his special birthday outfit, that he had planned out for days weeks, and started teasing his hair. Since it was a special occasion, Kurt decided that he needed to add extra volume to his hair and teased it higher than usual.

Once he was finished, he admired himself in the mirror. His hair was cooperating, not a strand out of place, and his outfit was perfect, giving him the more adult, sophisticated look he had been going for. Finding a suitable outfit in Lima had been a challenge, but when it came to fashion, Kurt had always been a miracle worker. But this time he even surprised himself.

He found a pair of tight black pants that fit him like a second skin and actually made his ass look perky and fantastic. He paired it with a striped dark gray jacket with a black shirt and silver tie. And killer black combat boots from a consignment shop that no one would ever suspect.

Ties were not usually his thing. Kurt preferred bowties, scarves, or nothing at all strangulating his neck, but today was an exception; he wanted to look mature and even attempted to wink at himself in the mirror. He never had been good at that or particularly confident. But even he had to admit that he looked good. All his hard work had paid off. And then some.

After another long glance in the mirror, he grabbed his phone, ready to return all his birthday wishes with a full fifteen minutes to spare before he had to meet his father.

No new messages.

Kurt felt his insides twist in protest. The black phone screen mocked him. It had been his birthday for more than seven hours and no one had messaged him yet. He bit down on his bottom lip and tried not to let it bother him, but flashes of déjà vu from past pathetic birthdays filled his mind, before Glee club, before Mercedes and Finn.

What if they forgot? No. They cared about him and it wouldn't happen.

He promptly removed the thought from his mind. It was early. That was all. He wasn't a morning person and neither were most of his friends. They were probably too preoccupied to text this morning and busy working on a surprise for him. Hopefully rehearsing a special number for Glee, and Mercedes was probably decorating his locker.

Ignoring the worry, he put a smile on his face and ran out of his bedroom, closing the door behind him. His surprise at school could wait. Now, he had Bananas Foster French toast at his favorite diner with his father to look forward to instead.

"Dad! Dad!" Kurt cried, as he ran down the stairs, through the living room, and into the kitchen. "Are you ready to go?"

His voice was high pitched and excited, his smile growing wider with each step. When he entered the kitchen and found any empty table, his smile disappeared.

A lone note with his name on it sat on the kitchen table, scrawled in his father's messy handwriting.

Kurt felt his stomach squirm again, and he knew it had nothing to do with his low blood sugar. He opened the letter.

Dear Kurt,

Happy Birthday! There was a situation down at the garage and they needed me. I had to leave early and won't be able to do breakfast. I left you a twenty, so you can still go. Have a double order of French toast for me and I'll see you tonight for your birthday dinner.

Love,
Dad

Kurt heaved a loud sigh and tried not to be too disappointed. Bananas Foster French Toast at Lulu's was his and his dad's birthday tradition. He knew that his father would never ditch him on purpose, but it still didn't lessen the blow, especially since his day hadn't started the way he wanted.

Oh, well. He still had almost an hour before school started and decided he should go for breakfast anyway. There was no use starving just because his father couldn't come.

: : : :

The Lima Bean was crowded like it was every morning. When he entered the shop, the line was practically out the door.

Although Kurt had been craving French Toast, he decided that it would be easier to eat alone at a coffee shop where it was expected rather than a diner. He had never been fond of eating alone. It reminded him too much of middle school where he had been the weird kid with the dead mom. His decision to go to the Lima Bean had nothing to do with a certain Warbler, who stopped there frequently on his way to school.

Kurt supposed that having breakfast with his crush would be an adequate substitute for not seeing his dad. Unlike most kids his age, Kurt actually enjoyed spending time with his dad.

Unfortunately, everyone else had a similar idea that morning. Kurt's face fell as he closed the door behind him and made his way to the line. Even with half an hour to spare, waiting on this ridiculously long line was going to cut it close—and as he made his way through the crowds, he realized that there was no sign of Blaine. Just his luck.He joined the back of the line and tried not to be too impatient. Patience was not once of his virtues.

Once the line finally moved, he caught a glimpse of a familiar blue blazer and smiled. At least some of the Warblers were here. He turned his head more, and there he was, the next person in line to order, Blaine.

Blaine. The name just seemed to fall from his lips, like soft, beautiful music. God, even the back of his head was gorgeous. Blaine must have felt him drooling, though, since he turned around and flashed Kurt a brilliant smile.

"Kurt!" Blaine called, waving his arms. "What a surprise? Come here."

He motioned for Kurt to join him. Without responding, Kurt scrambled to the front of the line and Blaine continued beaming at him. He placed his hand on the small of Kurt's back, causing all the nerves in his back to tingle.

"No sense waiting in the back," Blaine said, leaning over and whispering in his ear. "He's with me," he told the barista. "Add a soy chai latte and a blueberry muffin to my order."

Kurt felt himself blushing, having Blaine so close to him, pressing against his lower back overwhelmed him. God, he smelled good. Finally, Kurt recomposed himself and dug into his pocket, trying to fetch his wallet. Damn, these pants were tight.

Blaine squeezed his shoulder and smiled again. "Don't worry about it. My treat."

Kurt returned Blaine's smile and tried to protest. "You don't have to—"

"I know, but I want to." Blaine handed the barista a twenty and waited for his change. "Especially today, Birthday Boy."

Kurt's heart started hammering against his chest, his pulse racing. Birthday Boy? That meant that Blaine knew. He remembered. Wait what? When had he ever told Blaine that it was his birthday?

While trying to figure out if he had ever mentioned his birthday before, Blaine finished paying and then linked his arm through Kurt's, dragging him toward the end counter where they waited for their drinks.

"So...how does it feel to be 17?" Blaine asked.

"Erm...great," Kurt answered, snapping out of his daydream. "Thank you for the drink."

"And the muffin."

Kurt raised an eyebrow.

"Don't give me that look. It's your birthday. Have a muffin. You love blueberry."

Kurt pursed his lips. "I do. I'm impressed you remember."

Blaine laughed and then grabbed both drinks that were ready at the counter. "I remember everything about you." He handed Kurt his soy chai. "We're friends."

"Right...friends."

The heat returned to Kurt's cheeks and his stomach twisted again. He hoped that his voice hadn't sounded too disappointed. After all, Blaine had no idea about the insanely huge crush that Kurt harbored on him. Blaine was just friendly. And Gay. And Available.

That was at least better than his last crush, who was straight, dating the most annoying girl in school if not the universe, and now his step brother.

Damn, he had it bad. Kurt tried not to stare at Blaine, but it was difficult not to get lost in those huge hazel eyes, his insanely long lashes. He gulped. You need to keep it together, he thought. Don't fuck this up.

Biting down on his lower lip, he followed Blaine to an empty table in the corner of the shop, facing the large windows to the street. He plopped down on the closest chair and ignored the stickiness of the tabletop. His thoughts were still engrossed on Blaine, impressed that Blaine had remembered his drink. The soy chai latte was delicious—exactly what he needed this morning, herbaceous and soothing, even if it wasn't full of caffeine.

Blaine sat in the seat to Kurt's right and pulled the chair closer. He told the other Warblers, who had followed them, to go ahead without him and that he would meet up. Keeping the giddy smile off Kurt's face was proving to be a challenge.

"So any big plans for today, Birthday Boy?" Blaine took a large sip of his latte and flashed him another brilliant smile.

Kurt had to remind himself to breath and not get caught up in those eyes and those full lips that were begging to be kissed. God, what was wrong with him today? He'd been hiding his secret for months, but Blaine never had this type of effect on him. Something was different. Could it be that? No, that was ridiculous. It must be the lack of breakfast. It was messing with his head.

He shook his head and snapped out of his daze. "I'm not sure," Kurt said. "I'm having dinner with my dad, Carole, and Finn tonight."

"Sounds fun."

Kurt shrugged. "I suppose. I think Mercedes has some type of surprise for me."

Blaine gave him a knowing, indulgent smile, raising one of those oh-so-sexy dark eyebrows. "And Glee."

"Right."

Kurt felt his cheeks grow warm again. He didn't know what to make of Blaine finishing his sentences. In his eyes, that was such an intimate couple gesture. But he could never tell with Blaine and didn't want to get his hopes up like during Valentine's Day. His heart had already been broken once this year. One heartbreak a year was his quota.

"Well—" Blaine leaned over the table and broke off a piece of Kurt's muffin, plopping it straight into his mouth. "Have an amazing day, Birthday Boy. I have to get going. We have early rehearsal, but you should stay...relax—". He narrowed his eyes and motioned at the muffin with a quick head tilt. "Eat your muffin."

Then he got up from the chair and gave Kurt's shoulder a squeeze. "I'll see you soon."

"Bye," Kurt called, yelling at Blaine's retreating figure. "Thanks again for the drink." He paused for a moment and stared down at his latte as if it held all the answers. "And the muffin," he whispered.

He swore that he heard Blaine chuckle as he walked out the door, but it could have been his imagination. Of course, Kurt would have liked Blaine to stay and share breakfast with him, but just remembering his birthday and buying him breakfast was more than enough.

Maybe things were finally looking up for him.

To be continued...