June 11, 2012, 7:53 p.m.
As You Wish: The Fear
M - Words: 11,029 - Last Updated: Jun 11, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 11/? - Created: Oct 30, 2011 - Updated: Jun 11, 2012 194 0 0 0 0
No rehearsal tonight, enjoy the last weekend before midterms.
Wes
Kurt read the message on his phone as he and David left their senior English Lit class. "Well that was nice of you guys."
David nodded. "Midterms here are almost as bad as finals, and we can go a day without rehearsal."
"Plus it means I can leave earlier to get home. I hate driving all that way just to get to Lima." They walked out of the main building and started toward Windsor. Kurt pulled his sunglasses out of the bag and perched them on his ears; they were the Donna Karan ones he got for his birthday the year before.
"You're going home this weekend?" David asked.
"Yeah, I haven't been home since before Regionals, and I need to see everyone. Besides, it's Friday night, and that's when we have our family dinners." Kurt explained. "What about you? Going home?"
"Nah, my parents are on a cruise, so it's not like anyone would be home anyway. Might as well just stay here and study." He shrugged, then held open the door to Windsor. Kurt stepped inside and slid off his glasses.
"That must suck."
"I'm used to it. I'm their only child, and I've been in boarding school all of my life. Hell, my classmates are more like family than my own parents." David's voice was light, but Kurt felt bad for him. True, he had lost his mother at a young age, but he still had his dad, plus Carole and Finn.
"Well, I better go start packing. I have to change out my weekend wardrobe." Kurt smiled, then the two boys parted ways. He was thinking about how lucky he was to have the family he had when he got to his room and saw that the door was open.
"No! No, no, no, no, NO!" Nick was on the phone and pacing around the room. Kurt stepped in slowly, and shut the door behind him. "I'm not doing it. You really can't make me." He paused, and Kurt heard a woman's voice on the other end.
Kurt sidestepped his pacing roommate and got to his bed, where he dropped his bag.
"Mom, no! Please, just listen to me! I really don't-" he sat down when he was interrupted. "Fine. Whatever. Bye." Nick grumbled and ended the call.
"Everything okay?" Kurt asked as he hung up his coat.
"Ugh." Nick groaned. "My brothers are all coming into town this weekend, so my mom wants to do family pictures."
Kurt started going through his drawers, pulling out clothes he wanted to take home and change out. "That doesn't sound so bad. It's just a family picture."
"Oh, no, man. You don't understand. My mom makes a huge deal out of it. First we have to go shopping, so we can all get matching clothes. Then we have to get our hair cut so we look 'nice and neat'. Then we spend the entire picture day getting our pictures taken; first as a family, then just the kids, then the parents, then each parent with each kid, then both parents with each kid, and then everyone gets an individual picture." Nick rolled his eyes.
"Okay, now I can see why you wouldn't want to. That must suck." Kurt was grateful that they just went to Wal-Mart and took a few pictures.
"You have no idea. I have 5 brothers." Kurt felt bad for his roommate. "So, what are you doing this weekend?" he asked.
"I'm going home tonight, but tomorrow is New Directions day. I'm going shopping with the girls, then we're having a karaoke party at Rachel's house. Her dads are there, so nothing too crazy, but it'll be nice to see them. Sunday is our family day, and I think my dad and Carole want to start planning a summer vacation." He pulled his red suitcase out from under his bed and started packing his clothes.
Nick sighed. "Well, I've got to head out. My bag's already in my car, I packed it at lunch. I'll see you Sunday." he grabbed his keys from his nightstand, gave Kurt a quick hug, and left. Kurt turned on his iPod and cranked it up, letting the soothing sounds of Enya fill the room as he finished packing.
.....
when do you want to talk? – b
soon, I've got to head home in a few. – k
your room or mine? Or somewhere else? – b
you can come to my room, nick already left. – k
what time? – b
now's good. – k
Blaine put his phone back in his pocket and stood in front of the mirror. He thought he looked okay, but he knew Kurt wouldn't think so. He had dark under-eye circles, his skin looked more pale than usual, and he couldn't get his hair styled right, so he had left it alone. He had already changed from his uniform into a pair of old jeans, sneakers, a black Muse t-shirt from the Black Holes & Revelations tour, and a black cardigan. His hot pink sunglasses (he bought them at the GAP, along with those argyle socks) were perched on top of his head, his keys were in his pocket, and his packed duffel bag was sitting on his bed. He was ready to go home for the weekend and see his parents and little brother; he missed them. He made sure the door was locked, then picked up his bag and left his room. This talk with Kurt was already twisting his stomach into knots, and he knew he'd probably want to leave as soon as it was over.
.....
Kurt was almost done packing up his toiletries when he heard the knock at the door. "Come in!" he yelled.
"Kurt? Where are you?" Blaine's familiar voice called.
He put his Philosophy moisturizer in the bag and walked out of the bathroom. "I was in there, finishing up my packing." He smiled, and set the now full bag next to his suitcase, then sat down. Blaine let his duffel drop to the floor, then sat across from Kurt on Nick's bed. "So you ready to go home for the weekend?" He asked.
Blaine nodded. "Yeah, I haven't seen my family in a while; it'll be nice to have some time with them. Too bad this isn't a three-day weekend."
"I wish." Kurt laughed.
"So what time do you need to head out?" Blaine asked. He was nervous, and he wanted to get this over with. Why on earth had he agreed to talk to Kurt anyway?
"Uh, pretty soon, probably. Friday night dinner and everything." He paused. "Blaine, if you don't want to talk about this, we don't have to."
"Well, I don't really want to, but I know we need to."
"Right." Kurt looked thoughtful. "Well, I guess I'll start. Blaine, you seem like a shell."
Wow. That was to the point. Blaine blinked a few times, then answered. "I, um…"
"Hold on." Kurt lifted a finger to stop Blaine from trying to continue. "I know that our fight and whatever happened Saturday isn't helping, but I don't think that's it. You've been walking around all week like a zombie, and you haven't even asked to audition for any solos with the Warblers. That's not like you." Blaine wondered just how much attention Kurt paid to him. "Like I said, I know that whatever's going on between us isn't helping, but you've really got me worried here, Blaine. You need to open up a little bit, tell me what's going on."
Blaine pulled his glasses off of his head, and started spinning them around. He needed to think for a second; he had to think about what he was going to say to Kurt.
"You're right." He said quietly. Kurt just looked at him, his eyes kind. "About everything. About the fight, about… being a shell." This was going to be harder than he expected. "Kurt, what I told you before, about never being anyone's boyfriend…"
Kurt's eyes widened; had Blaine lied to him?
"That's part of this. I mean, I know I'm young and everything, but it's just really hard to watch everybody I know get into relationships and have someone who's there for them like that. I've watched every single one of my friends find someone, and it gets harder and harder to believe that it'll happen to me, too."
"Blaine, we're in high school. At this point, we're lucky to have friends, let alone significant others." Kurt said softly.
"I know that, Kurt. I do. But after everything with Jeremiah, and then everything with you, I feel like an idiot." He sighed. "I put myself out there for Jeremiah, and he didn't even like me like that. And then you go and have the courage to tell me that you had feelings for me, and rather than give you a chance, I ran away." He put the glasses on the bed next to him, and ran his hands through his hair.
"Blaine, you didn't run away. You said it yourself, you didn't want to screw this friendship up." Kurt's voice was quiet, but firm.
"But I did. I mean, look at us. We're not even texting each other anymore. We barely talk, and it's all because I'm an asshole." Kurt opened his mouth to say something, but shut it when Blaine kept talking. "I honestly didn't know if I had feelings for you or not, not when you first told me. But instead of sitting down and really thinking about whether or not I could have feelings, I just tried to keep acting like your friend. To say that backfired on me is an understatement." He let out a dark laugh. "And I was really bad at trying to be your friend, too. I should have been happy for you when you told me about Jeff. I shouldn't have been jealous."
"It's normal to be jealous, Blaine." Kurt tried to reassure him. There had been plenty of times when Kurt had been taken over by the little green monster.
"Not like that, Kurt. Not like that." He looked up at the boy across from him, his face contorted into a grimace. "I was so jealous of him. I didn't even realize it at first, but I was. I wanted nothing more than to rip him off of you the first time I saw him kiss you." Kurt looked surprised. "And Saturday afternoon… God, Kurt, I'm so sorry about that. I had to leave, otherwise I would have kissed you, and I couldn't force myself on you like that. Not after what Karofsky did."
"You are nothing like Karofsky, Blaine. Nothing! Do you understand me?" Kurt's voice was louder than Blaine thought it would be. "He's a scared, closeted little boy who hides behind violence. You would never do that."
"Kurt…" Blaine sighed.
"No. Listen to me, Blaine. You are absolutely nothing like him. You don't hurt people, you don't deny your sexuality and blame it on others, and you've never threatened anyone's life." Kurt got up from his bed and moved to sit next to his friend. "Look at me." he shook his head. "Blaine. Please, just look at me."
Blaine slowly turned, and was surprised at how close Kurt was sitting. "What?" his voice was a whisper.
"I know you're going through something right now, and I'm not even going to pretend that I fully get it. But I understand the jealousy. I understand the impulses. I even understand the anger." He took a deep breath. "I know this probably isn't the right thing to say, but I'm going to say it anyway: Blaine, I think you needed this. I think you needed some sort of wake-up call. You've been living in your Dalton bubble so long that you've forgotten what life is like on the outside. Everything here is so cut and dry, black and white, and life is nothing like that. If this was just about your feelings for me, you'd be able to hide it and lock it away like you do everything else. I think this has more to do with you than you'd like to admit." Kurt put his arm around Blaine's shoulders. "You went from pretending to be this happy, single gay guy to having a big crush on someone who barely gave you the time of day. You embarrassed the hell out of yourself when you told him how you felt via song, and then you didn't even stop to think about the possibility of having feelings for me when I told you I liked you. When you finally did think about those feelings, it wasn't until Jeff and I started seeing each other. All this? All these things you do? Blaine, they're all just different ways of running away."
"Apparently it's what I'm good at." Blaine sighed. "I told you before, Kurt. I ran away from my old high school, and I came here."
"You've got to stop running, Blaine. That's the thing, when you run. Whatever's chasing you usually catches up, or wears you out. I've got to be honest with you; you're starting to scare me."
"What?" Blaine was confused.
"You're so cut off from everything right now. I don't think it's just me and Jeff dating that's doing this to you. I think it's everything that you've been running from is catching up to you, and you need to face it."
"I don't know if I can, Kurt." Blaine admitted. "I've been running for so damn long, I don't know if I can face anything anymore."
"I think you can. I think you just need to man up and do it." He laughed a little. "Have some courage."
Blaine smiled a small smile. "That's my line."
"Yeah, well, it's my turn to be the mentor here." Kurt pulled Blaine into a hug, happy to see him smile. "I'll be in Lima all weekend, but if you need anything, call me. Text me. Email me. Whatever, you just let me know, okay?" he felt Blaine nod against his shoulder, and he hugged him a little bit tighter before he let go.
"Thank you, Kurt." Blaine said.
"You're welcome. Now get out of here, I've got a two hour drive ahead of me and your curly head's distracting me." He laughed.
"Well, then, sir, I'll walk you to your car. Blaine put his glasses back on his head and picked up the red suitcase from Kurt's bed. Kurt grabbed his toiletry bag (which was almost as big as his suitcase), his Donna Karan glasses, and his car keys, and followed Blaine out the door, locking it behind him.
"I'm serious, though, Blaine. If you need to talk, just call me, and I can listen. Just because we can't be together right now doesn't mean that we can't still be friends, that we can't still talk." Kurt wanted to make sure he understood.
"I know, Kurt. Thanks." He smiled as they reached the Windsor doors, and walked out to the parking lot. They walked in silence until they came to Kurt's large Navigator, and Kurt opened the back door. Blaine tossed in the suitcase, and Kurt set the other bag next to it.
"Okay, then. I'm going to head out. Thanks for opening up to me today, Blaine. I know you didn't tell me everything, and I know that there's more bothering you, but today was a start." He hugged Blaine one more time, then opened his driver's side door.
"Text me when you get home, I want to know that you got there safe. It's nice out here today, but I know there's still snow on the highway to Lima."
Kurt smiled and promised to tell him when he got home, then watched as Blaine walked to the other side of the parking lot to get to his own car, a blue 2009 Hyundai Elantra. He knew that Blaine was still hiding something, he just wasn't sure what. He could only hope that Blaine would eventually feel comfortable enough to tell him what else was going on. He really hoped it wasn't anything to do with him and Jeff, because as awkward as that made their friendship, it wasn't going to go away. He really liked Jeff, and Blaine couldn't change that.
.....
"Just because we can't be together right now doesn't mean that we can't still be friends, that we can't still talk."
Blaine kept running that sentence through his head as he drove the 45 minutes home to his family in Newark. Maybe it was foolish of him to focus just on that bit, that "can't be together right now" part, and yeah, Kurt probably hadn't meant to say it like that, but he couldn't not think about it. Maybe he still had a shot…
.....
Jeff was in a hotel room in New York when he got a text from Brian.
Blaine and Kurt just left Kurt's room – bri
Wow. That must have been a short talk. He texted him back while his mother called down for reservations at the hotel restaurant.
You hear anything they said? – jeff
He felt a little bad, sending a friend to spy on his boyfriend. It wasn't that he didn't trust Kurt, he did; he just didn't trust Blaine.
Nah, they were too quiet. They're both leaving now, though. – bri
Jeff hoped that nothing had happened. He was already upset that his parents made him travel that weekend, and getting pissed about Blaine would only make it worse.
How are they acting? – jeff
He waited.
Well, they just hugged, and now they're both driving out of the lot. – bri
Jeff knew it was probably nothing. After all, friends hugged each other all the time. Friends who had/have feelings for each other, though… That was different.
Ugh. – jeff
Dude, it's nothing. They're friends, remember? They were friends before he met you, and nothing happened. Don't worry, you're good. Kurt's only got eyes for you. – bri
He really hoped so.
.....
"Oomph!" Kurt was pulled into his dad's arms as soon as he walked in the door. Burt didn't say anything, he just held his son for a little while. Kurt knew that he'd never say it, but it was hard for Burt to not have his son there during the week.
"Kurt, honey, we're so happy you're home." Carole got Burt to let go of him, and then she gave him a soft hug. "We've missed you."
Kurt smiled. "I miss you guys, too. So much. I mean, Dalton's great, it's just not home, you know?" he looked down at the bags on the floor. "I'm gonna bring these up to my room and change out of my uniform, I'll be back down in a bit."
"Alright, sweetheart. Finn and Rachel went out to go get dinner, they'll be back in a few. You go get comfortable." Carole patted his head, and Kurt fought the urge to fix whatever she had done to his hair. It still felt a little strange, having a mother-figure in his life again, but he loved her. He picked up his bags and went upstairs to his new room (it wasn't as big as his old basement, but it was nice) to change.
When he went back downstairs 10 minutes later, he was out of his Dalton uniform and wearing his favorite black skinny jeans, a white and red striped Nautica sweater, and his knee-high Doc Martens. He loved weekends.
"Kurt!" he heard a screech, and then a short girl with a loud mouth had her arms wrapped around him. He hugged Rachel back.
"Rachel! How are you?" A Rachel Berry hug was tight, but nothing like his dad's or Finn's; he could still breathe.
She let go and took a few steps back. "I'm fabulous. Amazing, even! We're getting ready for Nationals, and they're giving me a solo, and we're-" she stopped when she remembered that he was a member of the team they beat. "I'm good, Kurt. How are you?" she was a little quieter.
"I'm doing pretty good, I guess. I mean, school's getting kind of tough, and we have midterms next week. I'm so not looking forward to them, but as long as they're not as bad as the finals were, I should be okay." They walked into the large dining room, where Finn and their parents were setting up at least 15 boxes of Chinese food.
"Well, if you need any help studying this weekend, I can help you. I've been doing peer tutoring at McKinley, and it's been going really well. I think I'm a good tutor, because I've noticed that the people I help are-"
"Rachel, let Kurt get some food, babe." Finn said sweetly, interrupting his over-excited girlfriend.
"Thank you!" Kurt mouthed as he moved toward the piles of food.
A few minutes later, everyone was sitting down, eating and talking. Finn was telling them all some story about his last basketball game, with Rachel looking on adoringly. Carole and Burt kept smiling at each other, barely paying attention to anyone else. Kurt was happy to be home, but he wanted someone else there, someone for him.
.....
Good morning, sunshine. – k
Kurt sent Jeff a message as soon as he woke up. He knew his boyfriend was busy, but he still wanted to talk to him.
Hey – jeff
How was the drive home? – k
Fine – jeff
So I was thinking that we should go out for dinner Monday after rehearsal, my treat. What do you think? – k
I'll think about it. Sorry, gotta go. – jeff
Kurt looked at the message from Jeff, confused. Was he in a bad mood or something?
Okay, babe. I'll talk to you later. :) – k
He pressed send, then put the phone down. It was a little early in the morning, maybe Jeff was just tired.
.....
Good morning, sunshine. – k
Jeff looked at the message from Kurt. He really wanted to say something sweet back to him, but he was still kind of hurt about Kurt and Blaine's talk. Granted, he had no idea what they had talked about, and he wouldn't dare ask Kurt, since he wasn't supposed to know about it. He really wanted to be able to trust Kurt, but talking to his former crush and not telling his current boyfriend about it was not exactly the sort of behavior that invoked trust. They shot back a few messages, then Jeff put his phone away and started thinking of ways to get Kurt to pay more attention to him.
.....
"Oh, my god. This was so much fun!" Kurt sighed happily as he, Mercedes, Rachel, Tina, Quinn, Santana and Brittany piled into his Navigator. Puck and Lauren were in her Impala, and Finn, Mike, Sam and Artie were in the truck Mike had borrowed from his dad. They had just gotten done with bowling (even though Kurt hated the borrowed shoes, it had been a good time) and were about to head over to Rachel's for a karaoke night.
Most of Kurt's day had been spent with the girls; they all went to breakfast that morning, then went shopping for the rest of the afternoon, until meeting up with the boys for bowling and dinner. As much as he loved Dalton, he really missed hanging out with his McKinley friends.
"Okay, Kurt, you need to tell us about this blonde boy." Quinn piped up from behind him as he started the engine.
"Oooh, he's blushing!" Mercedes laughed.
"Hush." Kurt was indeed blushing. "I'll tell you guys if you promise not to squeal and freak out."
"We won't." Tina promised.
"Just tell us, Kurt! We wanna know everything." Rachel said.
"Start talking, Hummel. Also, I'm gonna need a picture to see if he's hot."
"I'll show you a picture once we get to Rachel's, Santana." He smiled, then started gushing about his boyfriend.
.....
Hey, babe. I just got back from Rachel's, it was so much fun. Would have been more fun with you there, though. – k
Kurt was laying in his bed, wrapped up in his white comforter. Rachel's karaoke party was fun, but he felt a little left out. They had shared jokes that he wasn't in on, made references to things he didn't know about. He knew he shouldn't take it personally, and he really didn't, but it was hard to see how much of an outsider he'd become. While he waited for a reply, he started playing Angry Birds.
When Burt came in to wake Kurt up the next morning, a picture of odd-shaped birds and green pigs was the only thing on his phone. Jeff had never messaged him back.
.....
"I am horrified." Kurt was back in his room, on the phone with Mercedes. He had to leave to go back to Dalton soon, so he was trying to finish packing.
"What happened?" she asked lazily.
"My dad tried to give me 'the talk'." He rolled his eyes and tried to decide between a chartreuse McQueen sweater and a gray one. He put both in the suitcase.
"Seriously?" he heard her laugh.
"Seriously."
"Oh, wow. So how did that go?"
"Awkward as hell." He shuddered.
"What made him do it?" she asked.
"Finn."
"Finn? How?"
"He told Carole about Jeff, and she told Dad. Then Dad kind of freaked out and sat me down and gave me 'the talk'. I'll tell you, though, he did his research." He would never be able to forget the awkwardness that was his dad talking about gay sex.
"That must have been weird."
"You have no idea." Kurt told Mercedes about the family day they had: a late brunch, a trip to Home Depot to get supplies to work on the garage, the most amazing home-cooked meal (chili that had cooked all day in the crock pot), and the awful 'talk' with his dad.
Kurt knew that his dad was concerned, especially since he knew what teenage boys were like. Not only did Burt feel like he had to worry about his son's hormones, he also had to worry about his son's boyfriend's hormones. It was too much for one person to think about.
Burt had been prepared with multiple pamphlets (Kurt thought Mrs. Pillsbury-Howell might have supplied them), and most embarrassingly, condoms. His dad had awkwardly handed them over, and as his face burned a deeper red than he thought possible, he stuffed them in his pocket.
"Mercedes, he gave me condoms. Condoms!" he hissed. "Ugh, I'm just glad it's over."
.....
Three hours after he had gotten off the phone with Mercedes, and two hours after sad goodbyes from his family, Kurt pulled into the Windsor parking lot. He smiled when he saw that Blaine's car was already there, but couldn't find Jeff's Camaro. It wasn't until he got back to his room and talked to Nick that he found out Jeff wasn't going to be back until Monday morning.
"He didn't tell you?" Nick asked.
Kurt kept putting away his clothes. "No, he didn't. He actually hasn't talked to me since yesterday morning." He had been trying not to think about the lack of communication between them that weekend, but it was bothering him.
"Huh. Well, his parents took him to New York on Friday, and their plane won't be getting in until late tonight, so he's driving in tomorrow." Nick explained.
"Oh." Kurt was quiet. So Jeff could tell Nick what was going on, but he couldn't even send one simple message to his boyfriend to tell him?
Nick got his calculus notes out of his backpack and started going over them. "He should be here before first hour tomorrow. You'll see him then."
Kurt smiled, and finished unpacking. Why hadn't Jeff talked to him that weekend? Why didn't he tell him about his trip? He wondered if something was going on, and resolved to ask him about it tomorrow.
.....
Kurt was seething, and Blaine knew why. They were in Warbler's Hall for the first rehearsal of the week, and Jeff was standing on the other side of the room, talking to Anthony Holmes. Tony was a sophomore with tan skin, and dark black hair. He was a nice enough guy, and yes, he was gay. Kurt was sitting on one of the sofas, trying not to launch himself at the boy and pull his boyfriend to his side when Blaine came over and stood in front of him.
"Move, Blaine." He said, trying to look around Blaine's solid frame.
"Nope." He stood his ground.
"Move! I want to see-"
"Want to see your boyfriend try to make you jealous?" Blaine asked.
"What do you mean?"
"He's just trying to make you jealous. He knows I came over and talked to you Friday after school, and he's trying to make you jealous. I think he thinks something happened."
"How would he know you came over? I didn't tell him." Kurt was confused. "And how do you know that he knows? Did you tell him?" What the hell was going on?
"I didn't say anything to him. I just overheard him talking to Brian Porter in the hall before we came in. Apparently Brian was keeping an eye on you while Jeff was gone." He lowered his voice. "He thinks something might happen between us."
Kurt didn't say anything; he just sighed and folded his arms.
"Maybe you should talk to him. Figure out what exactly his deal is." Blaine suggested.
"Hmm."
"Okay, guys, we'll see you tomorrow. Remember, you need to work on your harmonizing for Hot and Cold, we didn't do that well on it today." Wes didn't know what was going on with the Warblers today, but they were all a little off.
"I'll talk to you later, Kurt. Go talk to your boyfriend." Blaine said goodbye, and left with his roommate.
Kurt got to his feet, and watched as Tony and Jeff made their way to the door. He followed them out, and overheard Jeff telling him that he really liked his haircut.
"I like it long like that. It really shows off your eyes." Jeff smiled at the younger boy.
"Yeah?" Tony blushed a little.
"Yeah. It makes the green flecks in them really stand out." Kurt followed them silently, fighting the urge to jump between the two and start yelling.
Tony smiled, then sighed. "Well, I've got to go, my mom's waiting to pick me up outside. Sometimes I'm really jealous of you boarders."
"Well maybe you'll have to see if she'll let you stay later sometime. We have fun here." Jeff's voice was low, and Kurt could tell that he was laying it on thick. He rolled his eyes, and waited for Tony to leave.
"You know that leading someone on isn't very nice." Kurt caught up to Jeff and walked with him.
"Yeah, well, neither is talking to someone who likes you and not telling your boyfriend." Jeff didn't hide the anger in his voice, but still held the door open for Kurt.
"Thank you." Kurt walked into the chilly air and waited for Jeff before he started walking to Windsor.
"You're welcome." Jeff walked at the same pace as Kurt, but didn't take his hand like he normally did.
"What's wrong with you?" Kurt asked quietly.
"Nothing." Jeff's voice was even.
"Bullshit." Kurt looked at him. "You ignored my texts this weekend, and then you flirted with Tony right in front of me. Obviously something's wrong." Kurt didn't raise his voice once, and he actually sounded quite calm.
Jeff paused. "Why didn't you tell me that you and Blaine were going to have a private talk on Friday?"
"Key word there is 'private', Jeff. He needed a friend, and since I know more about what's going on with him than anyone else, I was that friend." Jeff snorted. "Friend. Okay, just his friend. You're my boyfriend, not Blaine. I'm with you, not him."
"Is there something going on with you two?" Jeff asked. He was afraid of the answer.
"Like I said, Jeff, we're just friends. So no, nothing romantic is going on between us. But I don't want to stop spending time with him."
"What if I asked you to?"
"Don't. I really don't want you to make me choose between you guys. Because I don't know if I could. Jeff, Blaine was there for me when everything got really bad at my old school. He was the only person who was. You can't expect me to start blowing him off now that we're dating." They had reached Windsor.
"So where does this leave us?" They were standing outside, not ready to go in yet.
"I still want to be with you. I mean, I really want to be with you. But I don't want to sacrifice my friendship with Blaine. If you can deal with me being friends with him, then we'll be okay."
"… Okay." Jeff whispered.
"Are you sure?" Kurt moved closer to him and held his hands.
"As long as you're still with me, yeah." Jeff looked at Kurt, and saw him smile.
"Of course I am, dummy. You really think I'd pick Blaine over you?"
Jeff lied. "Nope."
Kurt smiled, and leaned in to kiss him.
"Good. Now go inside, we've got studying to do."
"Don't remind me." Jeff groaned, and Kurt opened the door.
"Come on. I'll help you with your English." Jeff let himself be dragged inside. He really wanted to believe that there was nothing between his boyfriend and Blaine, but only time would tell.
.....
"Eh, today wasn't too bad. At least we're more than halfway over with midterms." Blaine was relaxing on his bed after a particularly interesting day. His practical midterm for chemistry was today, and while he did fine, another boy in his class had caught his tie on fire.
"True. So how is everybody at home?" his sister asked. She and her husband had just gotten back from their honeymoon to their new home in Fort Wayne.
"They're good. James got into a fight Friday at school, though. Has a black eye." It wasn't a bad one, but it still looked like it hurt.
"What happened? He's so quiet and shy, did he get beat up?" Mia sounded worried.
"Well, no. He got into a fight with a kid at school."
"Blaine, he's 10. Who gets into fights at 10?"
"You did." Mia had been a troublemaker, and Blaine liked to rub it in.
"Hey, that girl pulled my hair. She deserved what she got."
"Mhmm, sure. I believe you."
"No you don't. Now tell me what happened with Jamie."
Blaine sighed. "Apparently some kids at school were saying that he had a fag for a brother." He heard Mia's gasp. "Mom said that this had been going on for a while, the teasing about me. It sounds like he just got sick of it and punched the kid who said it this time, and it escalated."
"And where the hell have the people from the school been? The teachers, principal? The damn lunch ladies?" Mia remembered how bad it had been for Blaine, and didn't want that happening to James.
"No idea. I guess Mom and Dad have been to the principal's office a few times to talk about it, but the principal keeps saying that it's Jamie's word against everyone else's, and all the other kids are keeping quiet."
"You know this isn't your fault, right?" Mia always knew when Blaine was blaming himself.
"Not directly, but-"
"Not at all." She interrupted him.
"Mia-"
"Blaine, stop trying to make every bad thing that happens your fault. It's not your fault at all, not one bit. You seriously need to remember that shit happens everywhere, and you can't always make it better." He heard her sigh. "Blaine, the world is a crappy place. And bad things happen. Blaming yourself isn't going to make anything better."
"I know, Mia. I know. I just feel like I've caused enough problems for the family, and now I'm causing more."
"You're really not hearing me, are you? So you're gay. Big deal. Guess what? Jamie's been made fun of for other things before, not just that his brother likes dick." Blaine snorted with laughter. "His glasses are a big part of why he gets made fun of. Why he was the only one who got Dad's vision, I'll never know, but between the hair that's worse than yours and the big glasses and even bigger ears, he's never had a chance. He's gonna get made fun of, that's just the way it is."
"I guess you're right."
"You know I'm right. And eventually, one day, he'll grow into a hot little genius stud like his brother and make everyone eat their words." He heard a smile in her voice.
"Yeah, I am sort of awesome." He grinned.
"Not as awesome as me." Mia laughed. "Well, maybe you feel more awesome than me."
"What's going on? You okay?"
"It's probably not what we think it is, but I've been a little sick lately."
"Flu?" Blaine asked.
"Well, not really. Yeah, I've got the nausea and the headaches and dizziness, but there's more than just that." Mia went quiet.
"More like what? Mia, you're kind of freaking me out." Blaine's sister had been sick a lot when they were younger; always getting the flu, strep throat, earaches. She was 8 years older than him, but he had always helped take care of her when she got sick.
"Well, don't get excited or anything, because we haven't done a test yet, but-"
"Excited? Why would I be excited for you to be sick?" Blaine interrupted.
"Blaine." She had a warning in her voice. "We think I might be pregnant."
"Mia!" Blaine sat up. "That would be so awesome! A little niece or nephew, or both! Twins!" Blaine would never admit it to his friends, but he really loved babies. He really wanted to be a dad one day.
"Oh, wow, Blaine." Mia laughed. "We don't really know yet. I don't trust those home pregnancy tests, but I've got an appointment set up for the 28th."
"Mia, that would be so… Wow. Have you told Mom and Dad yet?" he asked, a big stupid grin on his face. Mia had always wanted to be a mom, and after marrying her boyfriend of 7 years, a baby would really make her happy.
"No, we haven't told them, or Paul's parents. We don't really want to say anything to his parents, because they think our marriage was a mistake anyway. I'm gonna call Mom here in a few and tell her, but you know how she is. She's worse than you, she'll totally freak out if she thinks I'm going to have a baby." That was true; their mother loved everything about babies. "But I've got to go, Blaine. Paul needs a ride to work since his car's in the shop. Love you!"
"Love you, too. You call me when you find out if you're pregnant, okay?"
"Duh. Bye!" Mia's voice sounded bright as she hung up. Blaine was so excited that he couldn't focus on the notes he was supposed to be studying, and instead sent Kurt a text message telling him he might be an uncle soon.
.....
Looking out for a place to go
Where they play the right music
Getting in the swing
You come in to look for a king…
Kurt was singing along quietly to the ABBA song while he was fixing his hair. Midterms were now officially over, and most of the boys at Dalton were planning on celebrating that Friday night. He and Jeff had decided to see the new Liam Neeson movie that had come out a little while ago, and since Eric had already left for the weekend, they were both going to stay overnight in Jeff's room. Burt hadn't been too pleased that his son wasn't going to be home that night, but Kurt was good at getting his dad to let him do what he wanted.
Ugh, I hate being one of the only ones staying during the weekends. – b
Blaine's parents and brother were gone again, this time to some doctor's convention his dad had to go to. Blaine didn't like spending a lot of time dressed up and pretending to enjoy being surrounded by adults who were full of themselves, so he had decided to stay at school.
Just think, you'll have peace and quiet! I have to deal with Finn and Rachel. – k
True, true. I would never want to switch with you. ;) – b
:P I've got to go, Jeff will be here in a bit. I'll tell you about the movie later. See ya! – k
Have fun :) – b
Kurt smiled; it seemed like Blaine had been doing better that week. And with the news that he might be an uncle, he was smiling a lot more. A couple knocks sounded at the door, and before he answered it, Kurt stood back to admire himself. He was wearing purple skinny jeans, the knee-high Docs, and tight white v-neck sweater with a purple feathered brooch pinned over his heart.
"Wow." Jeff's eyes were wide when Kurt let him in.
"Is this alright?" Kurt was a little nervous; the shirt was new, and it was a little tighter than he was used to.
"This is more than alright. Holy… Wow." Jeff couldn't take his eyes off of Kurt; the way the sweater stretched across his chest, the way it accentuated the slight muscles on his arms… Jeff didn't realize Kurt could be so damn hot.
Kurt blushed, then pulled his coat on and took Jeff's hand. "Let's go, we'll miss the movie."
Jeff was really hoping that the movie wouldn't have any sex scenes, because his hormone levels were already through the roof.
.....
"The coat, Jeff, the fuc-" Kurt was silenced by Jeff's lips on his own. They had somehow managed to get from the movie theater to Jeff's car, to Dalton, to Jeff's dorm, and he had no idea how. They had barely even watched the movie, and had instead spent most of the time (they left 45 minutes into it) making out heavily in the back row.
"Jeff, this coat is a $400 Marc Jacobs. You want to replace it?" Kurt had managed to pull away from his eager boyfriend to speak. Jeff shook his head wordlessly, then stared as Kurt took his coat off and gently hung it on the coat rack; Jeff just let his drop to the floor.
"Come here." Jeff pulled Kurt back into his arms. "Do you realize how badly I want you right now?" he whispered in Kurt's ear.
Kurt smiled into Jeff's neck. "About as bad as I want you?" he felt a little dizzy, no doubt that the kissing was getting to him.
Jeff cupped his chin, and kissed him hard. "Show me." His voice was thick with desire for his brown-haired boyfriend. Kurt took the initiative and walked Jeff backward until the back of his legs touched the bed, and then pushed him down.
"You really want me to show you?" Kurt said. He wasn't sure what was going to happen, but he really wanted something to happen.
Jeff nodded wordlessly.
Kurt stood in front of Jeff, grateful for the lack of lighting in the room; he didn't want Jeff to see how red is face was. He took a deep, shaky breath, then grabbed the hem of his sweater and pulled it up slowly. Once it was off, he let it fall. He ran his fingers through his hair, and looked back down at Jeff; his eyes were roaming up and down Kurt's naked chest shamelessly, obviously enjoying the view.
"Your turn." Kurt was surprised at how low his voice sounded. He moved closer to Jeff, and started unbuttoning his shirt. He only fumbled a few times, but he was rewarded by the sight of Jeff's tan skin when he was done. Jeff shook the shirt off of his shoulders and let it join Kurt's on the floor, then took his hand and pulled him onto the bed with him. Kurt gasped at the skin-on-skin contact of their chests brushing against one another, and leaned down on the boy below him to start kissing his jaw. Jeff's hands moved to the front of Kurt's purple jeans, and paused when he touched the cold button at the top.
"Please?" Jeff's voice was almost a whimper, and in that moment, Kurt probably would have let him do anything. He didn't answer with words, he just rolled his hips toward him until Jeff undid the button and pulled down the zipper. When Jeff moved his hands to his hips, Kurt tried to hide his disappointment, but Jeff only gripped the waistband of his jeans, and pulled down. Kurt kicked off his shoes to make it easier to get his pants off (a difficult enough task when they looked like they'd been painted on), and then sat down on the bed next to Jeff. They were both silent; the only sound in the room was their breathing, and Jeff undid his own jeans, letting them drop to the floor next to the shoes he had slipped off.
The boys didn't say anything as they moved on the bed; Kurt ended up laying on his back, with Jeff on top of him, supporting himself on his lean arms on either side of Kurt's shoulders. Kurt wrapped his arms around Jeff's back, one hand resting on the waistband of his boxers. He didn't know what to expect when he gently pushed, but Jeff let his hips drop down, and Kurt shuddered at the contact. This was like nothing he had ever felt or done before, and it was a little intense. Feeling Jeff's hardness against his own was something he never really wanted to end, but the way Jeff was moving, he was afraid it would be over too soon.
"W-wait, baby, just wait a second." Kurt needed Jeff to stop.
"Everything okay?" Jeff was breathing hard.
"Just, just hold on a second." Kurt went to move, but couldn't; Jeff was still on top of him, their hips pressed together.
"Oh, sorry." Jeff mumbled when he realized what Kurt was trying to do. He got moved to Kurt's side, and laid down next to him. "What's wrong?" he asked.
Kurt took a second to answer. "Nothing, really. I mean, this is just… Wow." He blushed. "I've never done anything like this before."
Jeff smiled, and laid down with Kurt, spooning him. Kurt tried to pretend he couldn't feel Jeff's hard-on against the back of his thigh.
"Don't worry about it. We won't do anything you don't want to." He kissed the top of Kurt's shoulder.
"That's the problem, though, Jeff. I want to do… this. I want to do more than this. I just don't know if I'm ready."
"I understand, trust me." He laughed, and pulled Kurt closer.
"Could you, um, not do that?" Kurt asked.
"Not do what?"
"Uh, move… like that." Every time Jeff pulled him closer or moved his hips, Kurt found it harder and harder (oh jeez) to stop from turning around and doing things he really shouldn't be doing.
"… Sorry." Jeff sighed.
Kurt removed himself from Jeff's arms, then turned around to face him. He put his head on the pillow Jeff was using, and kissed him lightly. "Like I said, I want to do this. I want to feel you, I want to make you feel good." His breath hitched a little when Jeff started running his hands lightly over Kurt's chest. "And eventually, I will. But right now, we shouldn't. We haven't been together for even a whole month, and while yes, I understand that we're teenage boys with hormones and desires and fantasies and urges-" he was cut off by a kiss. When they broke apart to breathe, Kurt had a dumb look on his face.
"Continue." Jeff smiled.
"Um. Yeah. Urges. You're not helping here, you know?" Kurt tried to scold his boyfriend, but he got distracted by his Adam's apple when he started talking.
"Kurt, I don't want to push you. I really don't. But if you start something, I'm not going to tell you 'no'. You have to make that decision on your own. I'll respect it, of course. I don't want to do anything that you're not ready for. If you tell me you want something, though, I'm not going turn you down. I know I want to be with you, and I mean that in every way." He was staring into Kurt's grey/blue eyes now, illuminated by the sliver of moonlight coming in through the window.
Kurt smiled a little, then kissed Jeff; a slow, easy kiss. "Thank you."
Jeff didn't even ask for what, he just moved his hands from Kurt's chest to pull the blanket up around them, and held his hands. He watched as Kurt closed his eyes and snuggled in closer, resting his head against Jeff's chest, and tucking his feet in next to Jeff's. They were both still a little hard, and while it took Jeff a while to calm down enough to sleep, Kurt was out in 10 minutes.
When Jeff finally fell asleep, he dreamt of the boy in his arms.
.....
"I said, 'don't fucking move', homo."
Kurt was shaking, trying to keep calm and not scream. Karofsky had one hand around his throat, the other on his belt. He had followed Kurt from Lima all the way to Westerville, had snuck into Windsor, and had broken into Kurt's dorm. Nick wasn't there, and no one else was in the building.
"Now are you going to do what I tell you?" he nodded, just wanting this to be over. "Take off your jacket." Kurt's hands were shaking as slid the Dalton blazer over his shoulders. Karofsky tightened his hand around the smaller boy's neck. "Now the shirt and tie."
"N-" Kurt was slammed against the wall by his bed, and a small picture frame with his mother in it fell to the floor and shattered.
"I told you…" Karofsky leaned his face close to Kurt's, the stink of his breath making Kurt feel sick. "… to do what I say." His other hand pulled away from Kurt's pants and he started to breath a sigh of relief when Karofsky used it to undo the tie and pull it from his neck. A big, clubbed finger ran down the side of his face, down to the top button of the shirt. Kurt trembled, and then couldn't help but whimper with fear when he ripped the shirt open, and pulled it off.
The same moment the shirt hit the floor, Karofsky's hand was back down at Kurt's pants, and before he knew it, the vintage belt was undone, and his pants were around his ankles.
"Turn around." Kurt was shaking. "Turn. The fuck. Around." Karofsky turned him around himself when Kurt couldn't move, and then leaned down to whisper in his ear. "Don't scream."
Kurt closed his eyes, and felt him push him over the desk, then his hands moved again; one to the back of his neck, fingers tight and sure to leave a mark, and he wasn't sure where the other went until he heard the 'zzzip' of a zipper. He heard a few grunts from behind him, then felt the worst part of Karofsky touch him. He wanted to die.
.....
Kurt woke up in a cold sweat, heart racing, and face wet with tears. "Oh, god." He started shaking. He could still feel Jeff in front of him, only now he was on his back, and he was facing away from him. He watched the rise and fall of Jeff's chest as he slept, and tried to match his breathing to his boyfriend's; the nightmare was one that used to pop up every night after the day he was kissed in the locker room, but he hadn't had it for a while. His heart was still pounding, but he needed to calm down and go back to sleep. He considered waking Jeff, but didn't want to bother him; this would probably just make things harder, since Jeff didn't know about that incident. He pulled the blanket closer, and tried to sleep. He prayed that no more nightmares would come that night.
.....
Jeff woke up the next morning, and was disappointed to see that apart from him, his bed was empty. His phone was ringing on the pillow next to him, though, so he picked it up and answered.
"Hmm?" he didn't think he could form proper words.
"Jeff?"
"Kurt!" he woke up a little more, remembering the night before. "Babe, where are you? Are you okay? Did we go too far last night, or-"
Kurt laughed a little. "No, we didn't. I had to get an early start this morning, and I couldn't wake you up. You sleep like the dead, you know."
"I've been told." He closed his eyes and listened while Kurt talked.
"Well, sweetcheeks, and yes, that's your new nickname, I had to leave early this morning because my dad needs extra help at the shop today. He called me at 6 and asked if I could come home a little sooner."
"Oh." Jeff was a little disappointed. He wanted to wake up to Kurt in his arms.
"I'm sorry, I really am, but I don't want my dad to push himself too far. One heart attack was one too many."
"No, baby, it's fine. Don't worry about it, I just wanted to say goodbye, that's all."
"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'll call you on my lunch break. And then after work. And then after dinner. And then before I go to bed." Kurt laughed.
"Yes. You should just keep me on your Bluetooth so I can talk to you all day." Jeff suggested, only half-joking.
"Oh, ha ha. Ugh, hold on a second." He heard someone yelling in the background. "Jeff? Sweetie, I gotta go. I just got home a little bit ago, and we've got to head into the shop. I'll call you later!" they said their goodbyes, and hung up. Jeff looked at the time on his phone before he rolled over to go back to sleep, and realized that it was only 9 in the morning. He had been alone in his bed for at least 2 hours. Maybe next time, Kurt would stay longer.
......
Kurt was exhausted; he and Finn had helped his dad out at the garage from 9 in the morning to 6 that night, with very few breaks. Kurt didn't really mind so much, since it meant his dad could rest, but it was still tiring. After working at the shop all day, Burt, Kurt and Finn had all come home, showered (Kurt went last, since he used more hot water and took longer), and ate the spaghetti dinner Carole had made them. Finn had gone over to stay the night at Rachel's (their parents thought he was at Puck's), Burt and Carole had already gone to bed, and now, at 8 pm, even though he was exhausted, Kurt couldn't sleep. He was afraid to.
So how was the first day of your weekend? – b
Kurt smiled when he saw the text message.
Busy. Helped Dad in the shop with Finn today. Almost 9 straight hours… ugh. And of course, now I can't sleep. – k
Why not? – b
Kurt hesitated, not sure if he should say anything.
Nightmare last night. I'm still a little off. – k
He and Blaine had agreed to keep being honest with each other, he was just honoring that. He also really needed a word or two of encouragement from the boy who had tried to help him with Karofsky to begin with.
What was it about? You okay? – b
Kurt took a deep breath, then responded.
Karofsky. It was… bad. I can still feel his hand around my throat from the nightmare. I'm still a little scared right now, to be honest. – k
Bad as in…? – b
Bad as in the worst bad. Worse than the locker room. – k
He didn't expect the next message.
On my way. – b
What? No, Blaine, stay in Westerville, I'll be back tomorrow. Don't worry about me, forget I said anything. – k
He really hoped Blaine would just stay where he was. As much as he wanted to see him and get a little dose of courage, he didn't want Blaine driving 2 hours just to comfort him.
Too late. I'm actually in McGuffey, at an old friend's house. I'll be there in a little over 30 min. I'll txt you when I get close. – b
Kurt smiled a little. He was really grateful for Blaine; not many other people would blow off plans with an old friend to help someone who had basically rejected him. But this is the same Blaine who drove 2 hours and missed classes to confront the bully of a kid he had known for a few days. Blaine was extremely altruistic.
He had been laying in his bed, zoning out for a bit, when his phone beeped.
Right up the street. Your dad and Carole awake? – b
No, both asleep in their room. – k
Just pulled up. Come let me in. – b
Kurt got out of bed and opened his bedroom door. He was quiet as he tip-toed down the stairs, even though he doubted he would wake up Carole and his dad; they slept with a fan and a sound machine on. When opened the front door, he was greeted by Blaine's smiling face.
"Come in!" he whispered, and shut and locked the door behind him. Blaine followed Kurt up the stairs and into his room, sitting on his bed and taking off his shoes once the door was shut.
"Nice pajamas." He grinned. Kurt was wearing a set of matching green silk pajamas.
"They are the most comfortable thing I own to sleep in, you have no idea." He unbuttoned the long-sleeve shirt. "It just gets really warm in here when the heater's on, so I'll sleep in an undershirt most of the time, though." Sure enough, a black t-shirt was underneath. He folded the shirt he had taken off, and set it in a drawer, then looked over at Blaine. He was wearing his glasses, a Dalton Academy hoodie, light blue jeans, and mismatched red socks. Blaine took the hoodie off, revealing his Dalton PE shirt, and laid down on top of Kurt's bed.
"Wow, Blaine. Think you own enough Dalton crap?" he laughed, then turned the light off and joined him on top of the covers.
"Hey, it's about comfort, right? Shut up." He smiled a little. "Now, are you going to tell me about this nightmare? I know you've had them about him before." He was quiet, his eyes curious but caring.
Kurt rolled onto his side, facing Blaine. "It's the same one I've had since then. It's always the same." He sighed. "I hate it, Blaine. It actually makes me feel sick when I wake up. I shake, and shiver, and cry, and it really fucking sucks." Blaine reached over to wipe away a stray tear. "I couldn't even wake Jeff up last night to tell him about it, even though I was so scared."
Blaine didn't let his jealousy show, and tried to ignore the voice in the back of his mind that said he slept with Jeff last night. He didn't know if they had just fallen asleep together, or if they had done more, but that wasn't important now; Kurt and this nightmare was his focus. "Tell me about it." He was quiet.
Kurt closed his eyes, and let Blaine take one of his hands. He'd probably need someone to hold at least part of him while he recounted the nightmare; just thinking about it made him want to run away and hide.
"The place changes, sometimes. It used to be the locker room, then it was the choir room at McKinley, then last night, it was my dorm. He's there, somehow. He follows me."
.....
"Blaine." Kurt whispered. "Blaine."
"Hmph." Blaine buried his face deeper into the soft down pillow.
"Blaine!" Kurt raised his voice a little. "You've got to get going, it's already 10 am!"
"Huh?" Blaine finally rolled over, and looked at Kurt, who was sitting in the bed, right next to him. Kurt couldn't help but laugh at the way he looked with his hair all over the place and his face scrunched up. He handed Blaine his glasses from their spot on his nightstand, and waited while he put them on.
"My dad and Carole are gone right now, but they don't know you stayed over. I'm supposed to ask, and since I didn't, I could get into some trouble here."
"I need to leave." Blaine seemed a little slow on the uptake that morning.
"Yeah, I'm sorry." Kurt did feel genuinely sorry; he didn't want Blaine to go. It had been incredibly therapeutic to tell him about the nightmare, and he really liked having someone there with him.
"No, no, it's fine. I totally get it, my parents are the same way. Good thing I parked a few houses down then." He smiled. "I better head out before they come back. I'll see you back at school tonight, okay?" he rolled out of Kurt's bed, and started putting his shoes back on.
"Yep. I'll be there a little later than usual, but I'll still be there." Kurt stood up, and followed Blaine back downstairs. "Thank you, by the way. For coming over last night. I really, really appreciate it."
"Kurt, it's not a problem at all. You know if you need me, I'm there. No matter what time of day or night, or what's going on." He pulled Kurt into a soft hug, his chin resting on Kurt's shoulder.
Kurt didn't say anything, just held him a little tighter, and then let him go.
"I'll see you at school." Blaine stepped back, then opened the door and left. Kurt watched him through the window until he was out of sight, then went back upstairs to his room. It was a little strange having Blaine in his bed, true. But he couldn't deny that it was nice. He and Blaine had fallen asleep holding hands, and it was purely innocent. No awkwardness, no embarrassing body parts not doing what they were supposed to, and no tension. This was the Blaine he had missed; the Blaine who was there for him no matter what, and who could make almost anything better.
He really did like Jeff, and there was no denying the sexual attraction and chemistry between them. They also had a lot in common, and Kurt loved being with him. Kurt could see himself with Jeff for a long time, but he worried that Jeff's jealousy over his friendship with Blaine would get in the way of everything again.
He flopped back down onto his bed and sighed. No, this wasn't confusing or frustrating at all.
.....
"So what's the news? You said your appointment was last Monday. It's the 8th, Mia, what's up?" Blaine was sitting in the Windsor common room, his French textbook and notebook on the coffee table in front of him. He had come straight from Warbler's to Windsor, and had been working on the French essay due on Monday when his phone rang, Mia on the other end.
"Blaine, sweetie, I'm sorry. We had a lot of tests that needed to get done, and I'm about to go in for another." Mia sounded sad.
"It seriously takes that long to find out if you're pregnant? Wow." He shook his head.
"No, it doesn't."
"So?" he asked, a little worried now.
"No, Blaine. I'm not pregnant." Her voice was soft, and it sounded far away.
"Oh, Mia, I'm so sorry." He felt so bad for her, and was a little sad for himself, too. He felt guilty; it wasn't right to be selfish right now. Mia wasn't pregnant, but she still needed Blaine to support her.
"There's more." He could barely hear her; it sounded like she was whispering.
"Tell me." He needed to know what was going on.
"The doctors told us today, that uh… well. Blaine, they think I've got cancer." He felt his stomach drop, his ears rang, and he had tunnel vision.
"….What?" he was scared.
"I have to go in for more tests today and probably tomorrow, but they're pretty sure it's some kind of cancer. They don't know how bad it is, but they didn't sound too confident when they talked about it." Her voice was shaking.
"Mia, Mia, no. No, they're wrong, you don't have cancer. You've just got the flu or something, not cancer. No. No." he didn't know what he was saying, but his sister, his big sister and protector, could not have cancer. No.
"Blaine, I'm so sorry, baby. I-I can't do anything about this. I can't make it go away." He heard her start to cry, then he heard Paul's soft voice in the background.
"Sweetheart, I've got to go. I've got to go in for my biopsy now, but I'll call you as soon as we know anything, okay? I love you. Don't ever doubt that. I love you." He looked at the phone in his hands after she hung up. Mia Alexandra Anderson, his big sister, might have cancer.
.....
"Uh, no. You're wrong." Kurt was shaking his head at Jeff as the two walked down the stairs toward the Windsor commons. The 2004 Phantom of the Opera movie was supposed to be on tv in a bit, and they wanted to watch it.
"The Phantom loved Christine! He did what he did for her, to further her career and try to make her happy." Jeff was of the opinion that the Phantom was just a hopeless romantic. Kurt disagreed.
"Jeff, babe, the Phantom? He's a creeper. He's a psychopath. I'm not saying the story's not great, I'm just saying that Raoul was obviously the better choice, since he wasn't nuts." Jeff laughed, and the two boys walked into the commons, ready to watch and keep up their commentary. "Blaine?" Kurt saw Blaine sitting on one of the sofas, staring at the phone in his hand.
"Blaine, what's up, man?" Jeff may not have liked Blaine, but something was obviously really wrong here.
"Blaine, look at me." Kurt picked up the phone from Blaine's hand, and set it on the table. Jeff watched as Kurt touched Blaine's chin to turn his face to him, and tried to ignore the jealousy that was brewing in the pit of his stomach.
"Mia." He whispered.
"Your sister? What's wrong? Did she lose the baby? Is she okay?" Kurt asked.
Blaine shook his head, then cleared his throat. "She was never pregnant, Kurt." He took a ragged breath, and fought against the tears that were about to come. "They think it's cancer. My sister, Kurt, she might have fucking cancer."
Jeff's eyes widened, and he and Kurt shared a look; both were worried and scared for Blaine now. Jeff didn't even think of jealousy this time, when Kurt pulled Blaine into his arms, and let him cry.
He didn't sob, he didn't bawl. The tears came slowly, one by one, and he barely noticed when Jeff sat on his other side and put his hand on his back. Blaine didn't know what to do at that moment, other than let himself be held by the person he wanted, and the person he could barely stand.
.....
Next: Jeff tries to find out what really happened to Kurt at McKinley, while trying to stay calm about the extra time he's spending with Blaine.
ps- for Nick's family, that's 29 pictures. Poor guy.