June 11, 2012, 7:53 p.m.
As You Wish: The Truth
M - Words: 6,207 - Last Updated: Jun 11, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 11/? - Created: Oct 30, 2011 - Updated: Jun 11, 2012 239 0 0 0 0
Grab your clothes and get gone,
You better hurry up, before the sprinklers come on
Talking bout 'girl I love you, you're the one',
This just looks like a rerun
Please, what else is up?
And don't tell me you're sorry, 'cause you're not
Baby, when I know you're only sorry you got caught
You put on quite a show
Really had me going
Now it's time to go
Curtain's finally closing…
Kurt was singing along to the Rihanna song playing on his iPod as he worked on cleaning up the dorm room. His side was relatively clean when he started, but Nick's looked like a tornado had touched down; it was nothing but uniforms and shoes and books and… was that a piece of pizza? Kurt shuddered and used a plastic bag to cover his hand and pick it up.
Nick was down in the Windsor common room, working on homework; Kurt had decided after coming back from rehearsal that their room was not suitable for a movie night, and kicked Nick out so he could clean. What Kurt hadn't realized was just how messy the room was. He was almost finished, but then he found a pile of mess between Nick's bed and his nightstand. He found things he recognized (a few old socks, some pens and pencils), some he didn't (like the moldy pizza), and some things he didn't want to think about (used tissues).
Well, don't waste time, give me the sign, tell me how you want to roll
Madonna's '4 Minutes' was playing. Kurt turned up the volume on the dock that was sitting on his nightstand and started singing along as he cleaned, remembering the performance he and Mercedes did as Cheerios.
There's enough room for both
Well, I can handle that
You just gotta show me where it's at
Are you ready to go (are you ready to go)
If you want it, you already got it
If you thought it, it better be what you want
If you feel it, it must be real
Just say the word and I will give you what you want
Time is waiting, we only got 4 minutes to save the world
No hesitating
Grab a boy, grab a girl!
Kurt had all but abandoned his cleaning task and was now dancing and singing around his room, belting it out. He loved performing this song with Mercedes, and he loved the high he got from being the center of attention. As much as he loved the Warblers, and he did, he just couldn't help but feel smothered some of the time. They were all about the group, and being one cohesive… thing. Just once, Kurt wanted the Warblers to loosen up and do something fun. Something that didn't involve the GAP.
No hesitating
Grab a boy, grab a girl
No hesitating, we only got 4 minutes, uh uh 4 minutes!
Kurt was so into the song (and dancing the moves he used when they performed at the pep rally), that he hadn't noticed the door open. Blaine stood leaning in the doorway, his head cocked to the side. He was walking down the hall when he heard the music from Kurt's room, and decided to stop by and see what was going on. He hadn't expected to see Kurt doing high kicks and gyrating to the music.
Madonna, uh
You gotta get 'em all, hot
Tick tock tick tock tick tock!
Sometimes I think what I need is a you intervention, yeah!
Kurt did a quick spin on one foot, and promptly fell over when he saw Blaine.
"Whoa! Are you okay?" Blaine rushed toward Kurt, who had fallen onto a pile of shoes that hadn't been put away. He let Blaine help him up, then quickly shut off his iPod. He did not want Blaine to hear the next song on his playlist: Teenage Dream. He'd think that he put it on there to remind him of the first time he met Blaine. Not that he did. Because he didn't.
"Yeah, I'm fine, Blaine." He smiled and tugged his old shirt down. The shirt he had decided to wear was an older one, from before his growth spurt, and sat at the crest of his hips. It showed more skin than Kurt preferred, but it was easy to clean in.
"So, uh, what was that?" Blaine asked as he sat down on Kurt's bed.
"Hmm?" Kurt's voice was higher than usual.
"The dancing? The singing? The kicks?" Blaine laughed.
"Well, that was, uh…" Kurt turned away and focused on trying to gather up the shoes.
"It looked like cheerleading." Blaine pushed himself farther back on Kurt's bed, enjoying the embarrassment he was putting him through.
Kurt stood up straight, multiple pairs of dress shoes and boots in his arms.
"That's because it was, Blaine." He held his head high as he walked past the boy on his bed to get to the closet on the other side of the room.
"Wait, what?" Blaine hadn't expected that to be the case.
"I was a Cheerio back at McKinley last year. I even helped them win Nationals." He said from inside the closet. He didn't see the look on Blaine's face, the look that said 'ohmygodthatsoundssohot'.
"Seriously? You were a cheerleader?" Blaine sat up a little straighter. "Like, pompoms and weird arm movements and the outfit and everything?"
Kurt poked his head out, and said, "Yes, Blaine. Everything. Well, everything except the pompoms. I did not do anything with pompoms. And I can't do flips. But they did a basket toss with me, and I can do the kicks." He went back to sorting the shoes.
"Wow." Blaine was quiet. "Why?" he asked.
Kurt finished putting the shoes away before he went back into the main part of the room to answer.
"Mercedes and I both joined the Cheerios after we got sick of being ignored in glee club." He said simply.
"How on earth could anyone ignore you?" Blaine asked. "You're kind of a force of nature." He looked away from Kurt as he said it, pretending to find Kurt's iPod and dock really interesting. His finger was right above the play button when Kurt yelled "No!", but it was too late; Katy Perry's 'Teenage Dream' started blasting out of the speakers. Kurt reached out to take it from Blaine, but Blaine pulled it out of Kurt's reach.
Blaine started singing over the track, as loud as he could.
He jumped up from the bed, still keeping the iPod and little dock away from the other boy. Kurt chased after him, trying to pull it away from the singing madman.
At that, Blaine set the dock on a desk and grabbed Kurt's arms, spinning him around.
He still had a hold on Kurt, who was trying not to let himself dance, though it was clear he wanted to. Blaine kept moving, and Kurt finally broke down and danced a little at the next part.
The two boys danced in time to the music; Blaine was dancing like he did when he first sang this song in the senior commons, and Kurt was mirroring his movements.
Kurt joined in.
The boys moved closer to each other.
They were standing toe to toe now, so close they could kiss. But Kurt wasn't thinking about that. Nope. He also wasn't thinking about Blaine's hands, which were no longer on his arms, but on his neck, or his own hands which were now holding onto the front of Blaine's light brown shirt.
Kurt bent his head down at the same time Blaine leaned up. His hands felt hot on Kurt's neck, and he could feel Blaine's heart pounding under his own hands. Realizing what was about to happen, Blaine jumped back. "I-I got-gotta go." He turned on his heel and practically ran out of the room, leaving Kurt standing in the same spot, shock on his face.
What. The. HELL? Kurt jerked himself back to reality, and slammed the door Blaine left open. He turned off the iPod and dropped onto his bed, his head spinning with what had just happened.
What had just happened? They were just dancing, just singing, and then they were touching each other and Kurt wanted so badly to kiss Blaine, and he thought Blaine wanted to kiss him, too. He closed his eyes, trying to remember the feel of Blaine's callused hands on his neck, the smell of his breath with his face so close (coffee and peppermint), and the look in his eyes. Kurt was so sure that he saw something there. A loud beep signaled a new text message, so he got up from his bed to find his phone. He picked it up from the desk where it sat next to the iPod that had caused all this, and read the message.
Is it alright if I stop by before the movie? I'd like to spend some time with you before everyone comes over. ;) – jeff
Kurt's stomach dropped. Shit. Jeff. His… boyfriend. He knew he couldn't see Jeff right now, not with what happened so fresh in his mind.
I'd say yes, but I stayed up too late last night and I'm recovering from the mass of homework and cleaning I just did. I think I'm going to take a nap, but you're welcome to stay later tonight, if you want. :) – K
He pressed send and hoped Jeff would leave it be. He needed to figure out what to do, or if he was going to do anything at all.
No problem, babe. Get some rest, you'll want to be wide awake for the movies tonight. ;) I'll see you at seven. – jeff
Kurt glanced at the alarm clock on his nightstand: it read 4:17. Maybe he would do what he actually told Jeff he would do, and sleep. Some sleep might clear his head.
.....
Kurt feels a pair of soft yet callused hands gripping his hips, pulling him toward the warm body below him. Lips meet his throat, kissing, sucking, biting. He hears a low moan, and it takes him a second to realize he made the sound. He moves his hands from the curls on the boy's head below him to a chest that's firm and hot, and feels the harsh staccato heartbeat. He dips his head, his lips meeting the jaw of the other boy. He kisses from one earlobe to the other, then moves up to the lips he so desperately wants to taste. The boy underneath him uses his hold on Kurt's hips to flip him over, and now Kurt's on his back, a soft blanket cushioning him. Before he realizes what's going on, the lips are back on his neck, and his shirt is over his head. The hands move from his hips to the his pants, and he feels the button pop, and hears the slide of the zipper. A guttural sound escapes his lips once he realizes what's going on. He feels a hand reach inside, and hears a melodic voice say-
"Wow, Kurt, the room hasn't looked this good since I moved in. Nice job, dude." Nick had just walked in the door; the slam of it woke Kurt.
"Uh, yeah. Thanks." Kurt sat up, being careful to keep the fluffy blanket up to his chest. "Just do me a favor and stop keeping half-eaten food in here, 'kay? That was just gross."
"Sorry about that, I just forget to throw it away sometimes." Nick shrugged, and dropped his backpack onto his bed. "You ready for tonight?" he asked.
"Huh?" Kurt was staring off into space. "Oh, yep. Looking forward to it, actually. What time is it?"
"It's almost 6. What time did you pass out? You sounded like you were having a nightmare. All that moaning and groaning. You okay?"
Kurt coughed, realizing that Nick had heard him when he walked in. "It, uh, it's nothing. Just not really a scary movie fan, and I had read a few of the spoilers for the movies tonight before I took my nap. I guess it just freaked me out…" he really hoped Nick would believe him; it was awkward enough that he was hard, he didn't think he'd be able to face Nick if he knew what his dream had really been about.
"Man, if the spoilers scared you that much, I don't know if you'll even be able to watch the movies." Nick shook his head and sat down on his bed. "You sure you want to stay and watch them?"
"I'll be fine, Nick. Don't worry about me." Kurt said. He moved a little in the bed, and was relieved to find that he wasn't as 'excited' as he had been when he first woke up. This really wasn't fair; boys had it much worse than girls.
"Plus you'll have Jeff here to keep you company, right?" Nick laughed. "He'll cover your eyes at the scary parts."
The thought of Jeff made Kurt feel sick to his stomach. He had just had a rather vivid dream, and he was sure it was about Blaine. Blaine was the only person he knew with curly hair and hands like that, so the dream must have been about him. He was dreaming about his crush (former!) who he had just had an almost-kiss with while he had a boyfriend.
"Kurt? Kurt?" Nick was standing in front of Kurt, waving his hands in his face.
"Sorry! Sorry, I'm more tired than I thought. What did you say?" Kurt smiled, trying to squash the guilt he felt in his chest.
"Dude. Maybe you need to go back to sleep for a bit. I said I was going to take a shower, and asked if you needed to use the bathroom before I did." Kurt shook his head. "Alright. I'll be out in a little bit, go back to sleep. I'll wake you up before everyone gets over here." Nick walked to the bathroom, hoping Kurt would be alright for the movies that night.
Kurt kept the stupid smile on his face until he heard the bathroom door close, and then he threw himself back onto the bed and pulled the blanket over his head. "Ugh!" he groaned.
.....
"Fuck." Blaine shut the door to his dorm behind him. He leaned against the wall, and slid down to the floor, his head in his hands. "Fuck." He closed his eyes. "What the FUCK?" he yelled, not caring who heard him or what they thought. This was ridiculous. What the hell was he thinking, singing and dancing like that? Singing that song? Why did he have to touch Kurt? Why his neck? He had really gone off the deep end, and he was officially confused. He sighed, and got up from the floor. He was really grateful that Wes was still downstairs, otherwise he would have started asking questions.
He knew that what happened in Kurt's room had the potential to completely destroy their friendship, and that made him feel sick. He needed Kurt, he really did. He needed someone to keep him grounded, someone who could make him remember what life was like outside the safe haven that was Dalton. But… he felt like he needed something else from Kurt, too. He hadn't realized it until just now, when they were standing so close to each other and he could feel Kurt's breath on his lips, but he was falling for him. Blaine Anderson was falling for Kurt Hummel, and he had no idea what to do about it.
.....
Jeff was sitting in his bed, playing Super Mario Brothers on his DS, thinking about the kiss in Kurt's SUV that morning. He loved the way Kurt's lips settled against his own, the way Kurt's hands felt against his chest, and he liked feeling the weight of Kurt pushing down on him. He'd never admit it to anyone, but he had fallen head over heels for Kurt. A smile spread across his face, realizing that he could now call Kurt his 'boyfriend'.
"Boyfriend…" the word sounded amazing to him. The last boyfriend he had wasn't speaking to him anymore; his mother had asked him politely to leave Jeff, since a gay son could ruin her political career. Simon Clark was a year older than Jeff, and unless you knew him, you wouldn't know that he was gay; he was good at playing straight. He was on the varsity soccer team at Dalton, and although he was still there, he avoided Jeff like the plague. Simon hadn't been Jeff's first kiss, that was a boy in 8th grade, Matt Harker. Matt and Jeff didn't really date, they just kissed a few times, to see what it was like, but Simon… Jeff had really felt like that was love.
Simon was about as experienced as Jeff, so they fumbled through all the of the firsts together; they even lost their virginities to each other. Jeff remembered the awkwardness that night, and the whispered confessions of love when it was all over. Two weeks later, Simon sent him a text message that said 'sorry, cant do this anymore. Mom cant risk losing the campaign, she says me being out will do that. Im really, really sorry, jeff.'
He frowned at the memory. This was going to be different. Kurt was out and proud, and had no qualms about it; he was the polar opposite of Simon. Simon was athletic and quiet, reserved and a bit of a nerd. Kurt was a performer at heart, not remotely quiet, a bit of a fashionista, and while he was smart, he didn't spend all his time with his nose in a book. If Jeff was being honest with himself, Kurt wasn't what Jeff was usually attracted to, but over the last couple months that he had been at Dalton, Jeff had really fallen for him. He set down his DS and sent Kurt a text message, asking if he could stop by before the movies that night; he wanted to spend some one-on-one time with his boyfriend before everyone flooded into the small dorm room. He was a little disappointed when Kurt messaged him back saying no, but he understood. Besides, spending time with Kurt after the movies would be nice. Hell, spending any time with Kurt was nice. Jeff went back to his game, fantasies of he and Kurt on his mind.
.....
"Okay guys, some ground rules tonight." Nick stood by the large tv on the dresser (they had taken it from the common room), a remote in his hand. He looked around at the group of boys in front of him, spread all over the room, and launched into a short list of rules he and Kurt had thought of. "Number one, any mess you make, you clean up. Kurt spent forever today cleaning, and he'll probably kill you if you make a mess. Just saying."
Kurt nodded in agreement. "Remember, I know where all of you sleep. I'm also very crafty when it comes to revenge." The boys just looked at one another, not wanting to find out what kind of damage Kurt could do to each of them.
"Number two, if you have to talk, do it quietly. Number three, Wes, no throwing popcorn. If you get butter stains on anything, I'll hold you down while Kurt murders you. Your gavel can't save you in here." Wes looked down at the large bowl of popcorn on his lap, and handed it to David. "Good. Thanks. Um, number four, don't do a running commentary. A few people here haven't seen the movies, don't spoil it for them. Kurt, did I forget anything?"
"If you use our bathroom, don't make a mess. I worked like Cinderella to get it clean today."
"'Kay. Uh, soda's in the cooler over here by the dresser, if you want some, get it now." Sean and David got up and grabbed cans of Diet Coke and Dr Pepper, then passed them out. Nick turned the light out, then maneuvered his way around the boys on the floor to reach his bed, where Eric and Max were already sitting, another bowl of popcorn on Eric's lap. Nick pushed play on the remote, and watched as the screen opened on a scene of a dilapidated bathroom.
.....
Kurt felt like the first movie would never end. He also knew that Nick had the next three movies, but he didn't think they'd watch all of them; staying up until 3 am to watch this was not his plan. Of course, it helped that he was practically sitting in Jeff's lap, Jeff's legs tucked under his own. They were leaning up against Kurt's headboard, snuggled in close together, with Jeff's arms wrapped around Kurt's waist, and the blanket covering their legs. No one else sat on the bed with them. Nick was still on his bed, with Eric and Max sitting next to him. Wes and David were sitting on large pillows (also taken from the common room) next to Nick's bed, and Sean was laying on his stomach right next to them. Blaine was sitting in Kurt's desk chair, behind the two beds and along the wall by the bathroom.
Kurt was trying not to think of the earlier events of the day, and just focus on how it felt to just be with Jeff. He moved his hands from the over the blanket to under it, and pulled Jeff's hands away from his waist. Rather than say anything, Jeff let Kurt move so that he was sitting next to him. Kurt moved to lay down, pulling Jeff with him. He doubted anyone would pay attention to them; everyone was glued to the tv.
"What are you doing?" Jeff whispered into Kurt's ear.
"Getting comfortable." Kurt smiled, a devilish glint in his eye. Jeff raised an eyebrow, but burrowed under the blanket with his boyfriend. He didn't expect Kurt to start kissing him, but he was more than okay with it when Kurt did. Jeff had his eyes closed, but he could feel one hand on his hip, and another on his cheek. He moved his hands to hold Kurt's waist, and was surprisingly met with warm, soft skin; apparently his shirt had ridden up when they had moved under the covers. Kurt gasped quietly at the contact, but rolled his body closer to Jeff's. They were oblivious to the goings-on around them: Nick clutching his soda can, Eric and Max on either side of him, both hugging pillows. Wes and David were both munching on the popcorn, and sharing a soda. Sean was already asleep, and Blaine was staring mindlessly at the television, trying not to pay any attention to what was going on in Kurt's bed.
The two boys were kissing each other lazily, just enjoying one another. Jeff started inching closer to Kurt, almost desperate to feel more of him. Their bodies finally met; hips to hips, knees to knees, chest to chest, and he heard a soft moan escape from Kurt's lips. Jeff really liked that they were the same height.
"Aaah!" Wes shrieked, and seconds later, an entire bowl of popcorn was tossed directly on top of Jeff's head.
"Every! Damn! TIME!" Jeff jumped up from the bed, leaving Kurt alone and covered in buttered popcorn. Wes yelled again, lifting his hands up to protect his face as Jeff jumped at him. "ALWAYS WITH THE POPCORN!" someone, possibly Eric, tossed a half-empty popcorn bowl at Jeff, who caught it and dumped it all over Wes. The yells were enough to wake up Sean, who scrambled for cover by the door. Blaine just watched, used to this kind of thing from his house-mates. Kurt sat in his bed and stared at the popcorn that covered it, starting to get a little pissed off.
The scene in the room was getting a little crazy, because Wes and Jeff were now both grabbing as much popcorn as they could, and pelting it at each other. It was getting on the tv, leaving buttery streaks, pieces were on both beds, and almost every boy in the room had at least a handful or two of it thrown in their faces.
"Enough!" Nick finally shouted, flipping on the lights. He knew it was all in jest, but he also knew that Kurt might just kill someone if they didn't stop, and blood was harder to get out of the carpet than butter. "Guys, chill!" Jeff and Wes looked guiltily at their friends.
"Sorry, guys." Wes said.
"Yeah, sorry." Jeff added. "We'll clean it up."
"Oh, you better." Kurt glared at his boyfriend. Everyone looked at him. Blaine almost choked on a piece of popcorn (he had caught it flying through the air) when he saw what Kurt looked like. Even though he was sitting up, his shirt was still pushed up, and his lightly defined abs were on display. His hair was a little messy, but his face was a deep pink color, and his lips looked almost bruised from all the kissing he and Jeff had been doing. "What?" Kurt saw how everyone was looking at him.
"Kurt, you, uh…" Wes started to say something but stopped when Jeff shot him a glare. Blaine was blatantly staring at Kurt, his eyes resting on his stomach, watching it rise and fall with every breath he took.
"Jeez, guys, if you wanted some time alone to get down and dirty, you could've just said so." Eric laughed.
Kurt pulled his shirt down and looked sheepishly at his friends.
"I mean, we're all in here, you could've gone into Eric and Jeff's room…" Nick winked at his roommate. "We'd give you some privacy." He laughed.
Jeff went back over to Kurt's bed and pulled him up. "On that note, we'll see you guys later." Kurt followed his boyfriend to the door, slightly confused.
"Where are we going?" he asked.
"My room." Jeff said simply.
"Oh! Hold up!" Nick shouted. He turned on his bedside lamp and opened his top nightstand drawer. Eric guffawed when he saw what Nick was getting. "Here, keep these. They might come in handy." He tossed a few condoms at Jeff. Jeff caught them, but threw them back.
"Don't worry, I've got it covered." His face was red, but Jeff still stood tall. "Let's go, Kurt."
Kurt was too embarrassed to really say anything other than "this better be cleaned up by the time we get back!" and followed Jeff out the door, hoots and wolf-whistles coming from the boys in the room.
The door shut quietly and they started walking to Jeff's room, their bare feet shuffling along the carpeted hall.
.....
"Hey, I didn't mean anything by that, back in the room. With the, uh, condoms, I mean." Jeff said.
"No! No, I didn't think you did. We've only been dating for a few days…" Kurt trailed off. He let Jeff take his hand as they walked. Jeff was quiet until they got to his door.
"I'm sorry, I didn't even ask if you wanted to leave. Is this okay?" he asked.
"Yeah, it's fine. From what I saw from the movie, I was freaked out. I'd rather just relax." Jeff opened the door and let Kurt inside.
"Understandable. I was kind of freaked, too." He turned on the light. "You can, um, go ahead and sit down wherever. Want to pick out a non-scary movie?" he shut the door behind him.
"Anything funny?" Kurt asked as he sat on Jeff's bed.
"Night at the Museum work for you?" Kurt nodded. "Let me find it, and I'll put it in." Jeff smiled, and walked over to his small tv on the dresser and pile of dvds next to it. He had just found the movie when he heard a knock at the door. "Who is it?" he was hoping whoever it was would just go away and leave him and Kurt alone; he was starting to get irritated with all the interruptions.
"Blaine." Kurt looked up at the door, a strange feeling in his stomach.
"Come in, man." Jeff said. "It's unlocked." He would be locking it as soon as he left.
"Thanks." Blaine opened the door and stepped in. Kurt looked at him, taking in his appearance: dark gray sweatpants and a black zip-up hoodie, unzipped just enough to show a hint of the light dusting of chest hair he had. "Uh, Kurt, can I talk to you? In the hall?" Jeff shot a look at Blaine, a look that plainly said hell to the no. "It's kind of important."
"Um, okay. Go ahead and get the movie started, Jeff, I'll be right back in." he smiled at his boyfriend as he got up.
Jeff nodded, his jaw tight. "I'll pause it at the start for you." Kurt passed him to get to the door, and kissed him as he walked by. That made Jeff feel slightly better, but he was still suspicious as to why Blaine was there, asking to talk to his boyfriend.
.....
"So what do you need, Blaine?" Kurt asked once they were out in the hall. Blaine had walked down a few feet from Jeff's door, not wanting him to hear what he was going to say. He heard the cold in Kurt's voice, and while he didn't want to admit it, it hurt. He was sick of the tension between the two, and he had to do something.
"I'm sorry."
"What?" Kurt was confused.
"I'm sorry. For earlier today, in your room. That wasn't… I shouldn't have done that." Blaine looked down at his hands, and started pacing.
Kurt sighed. "Shouldn't have done what?" he wanted Blaine to say it.
"You know." He looked up at Kurt, who had his arms folded and was leaning against the wall.
"No, Blaine, I really don't. What did you do?" he let his anger show through. "What did you do in my room today?"
"Kurt, I-"
"No. Say it. We agreed to always be honest with each other, remember? Are you going to back out of that now?" Kurt pushed away from the wall and moved toward Blaine. "You need to tell me what the hell that was today, because I'm really starting to get confused. You tell me that you don't want to screw up this 'friendship', that you don't know what you're doing. You say you want to stay friends. Then as soon as someone else shows interest in me, you act like somebody stole your toy. Well Blaine, you weren't using it, so why shouldn't someone else?" he snapped.
"You're not a damn toy, Kurt!" Blaine said, a little louder than he intended. "I didn't want anything to change between us! I liked being your friend, okay?" he took a deep breath and turned away from Kurt before he spoke again. "I just wanted to be your friend."
"We are friends, Blaine." Kurt was quiet. "But friends don't almost-kiss. They also don't sing duets like we did, or flirt like we did. That's more than friends."
Blaine faced Kurt again. "I know. And I'm sorry. I didn't want that, either." He shook his head.
Kurt moved toward Blaine, a question in his eyes. "Then what did you want? Because today, you seemed like you wanted…" Kurt's voice changed to a whisper. "wanted to kiss me."
Blaine looked into Kurt's eyes, searching for something. "I did." He admitted. "I did. God, Kurt, I'm so sorry, but I did." His voice broke. "I thought I could do this, I thought I could be friends with you. I didn't even know how I felt about you, I had no idea!"
Kurt felt like someone had hit him with a baseball bat. "… What?"
Blaine put his hands on Kurt's upper arms, desperate to know that everything would be okay. "I think I want you, Kurt. I think I want to be with you." He could hear his heart pounding in his ears while he waited for a response.
"I…" Kurt stepped away from him. "I'm sorry." his face fell. "I can't. Not now, Blaine. Did you hear what you just said?" Blaine looked confused. "You just said you think you want to be with me. Not that you want to be with me, but you think you do." Kurt shook his head. "I deserve better than that, Blaine. I deserve someone who really does want to be with me. Someone like Jeff." He glanced back at Jeff's door.
"Kurt, I-" Blaine started, before Kurt cut him off.
"Jeff wants me. I know he does. He has no issues telling me he wants me, and more than that, I want him. Blaine, you had your chance. I told you how I felt a few weeks ago, and you've had all that time to do something about it. I'm sorry, but I'm with Jeff." Kurt looked like he was about to cry. "I wish you had figured this out before."
"I'm sor-" Kurt put his hand over Blaine's mouth.
"Don't. Please, just… don't." he dropped his hand to his side. "Give me some time, okay? I still need you around, but not for a while." Blaine didn't say anything as Kurt turned away from him and walked back to Jeff's room. "Good night, Blaine." He stepped inside, not looking back.
.....
"Hey, babe. Everything okay?" Jeff was sitting on his bed, lights off in the room and movie paused at the beginning, like he said. Kurt shut the door and nodded, then walked over to Jeff and crawled into bed with him.
"Do me a favor?" he asked, his voice thick with tears.
"Anything." Jeff was worried; what the hell had Blaine said?
"Kiss me." Kurt grabbed Jeff's shirt and pulled him close. "Just fucking kiss me." All Kurt felt a moment later was Jeff's mouth, warm and inviting and pressed against his own, their tongues fighting for dominance. This kiss is just what Kurt needed; passion and energy and need and desire. He needed to get Blaine's face, broken and hurt, out of his mind.
Kurt tugs at Jeff's shirt, trying to tell him without words that it needs to go. When Jeff complies, Kurt takes his shirt off too, and then they're back on the bed, Kurt pressed down, with Jeff on top of him. Jeff looks down, his eyes hungry, and when he moves his hips, Kurt feels exactly how much Jeff wants him. He leans down, and Kurt pushes Blaine to the back of his mind as their lips meet again; he won't think of him when he's with Jeff. He can't.
.....
Blaine walked slowly to his room, trying to keep his emotions in check. Until Kurt came into his life, control was never anything he had an issue with. Until Kurt came into his life, he thought he was okay with being single. Then he met Jeremiah, and somewhere in his head, the wires got crossed and he humiliated himself trying to prove just how he felt.
He got to his room and opened the door, which he left unlocked. Wes was still down with the other boys, finishing the movies, so he'd be alone for a while. Blaine didn't bother turning on the light, he just locked the door and walked to his bed, then dropped back onto it. He couldn't get Kurt's words out of his mind. I told you how I felt a few weeks ago, and you've had all that time to do something about it. I'm sorry, but I'm with Jeff…
Blaine knew he had blown it. Kurt was right, he had known since before Valentine's Day how Kurt felt, and he didn't do shit. He rolled over on his bed and clutched a pillow to his chest, and for the first time in a long time, he let himself start to cry. He had his chance, and he'd blown it. Kurt didn't want him anymore, he wanted Jeff. Blaine wasn't wanted.
.....
Next: Jeff confronts Blaine about what happened in the hallway, and Blaine doesn't hold back. Finn comes to visit Kurt, and things get messy.