April 13, 2013, 11:28 p.m.
Someone Who Needs You Too Much: Four
E - Words: 3,189 - Last Updated: Apr 13, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 5/5 - Created: Mar 29, 2013 - Updated: Apr 13, 2013 148 0 0 0 0
Morning came in the sound of the city, cars rumbling past and vendors on the streets below calling out for people to buy their wares, and Kurt awoke from his latest snatched minutes of sleep to the bed empty and cold next to him, no one lying there in a beautiful slumber, the sheets unslept in for a day, Blaine's raspberry-sweet scent barely a whisper on the air. Blaine still hadn't been home. He'd left at eleven o'clock, night pressing in at the windows, and now it was ten o'clock and the sun was streaming in through the glass and he was still out there somewhere, he'd been out there all night.
The tears were streaming down his cheeks as he joined Santana and Rachel in the living room, Rachel texting frantically and Santana watching the door with one eye and the news with the other. "He's still not home," he sobbed, pushing the blind outside to gaze out of the window, hoping to see Blaine coming home to him. "He's been out all night and he hasn't tried to get in touch with any of us! We had a stupid fight and I said something horrible and he just walked out! What if he's hurt or he's been abducted and the last time I saw him I said those awful things?!"
"Kurt, you need to calm down, this isn't good for you or the babies," came a familiar voice, one Kurt did not need or want to hear after what he and Blaine had argued about, and Adam gave him a reassuring smile from the armchair. "I'm sure Blaine will come home, he can only get so far without money or transport."
"Get out!" Kurt screamed at him, skin salt-slick with tears, face red from crying, wrapping both hands protectively over his belly. "Just get out! This is your fault, you're the reason he left, we had a stupid fight on our romantic evening in because you won't let him get a word in edgeways and you call when you know I'm celebrating our love with him! Get out of here and don't come back!"
Adam gave him a confused look, but apparently knew what was good for him when faced with a five months pregnant hurricane of fury and left quickly, Kurt's shoulders still heaving with sobs as Rachel rushed across the room to slip an arm securely around him. "Sweetie, it'll be okay," she promised softly, massaging his back in slow circles. "If he's not home by tonight, we'll call the police and report him missing, and we're about to go out and look. You should stay here in case he comes back, and if he does call one of us and we'll stay out so you two can talk. Don't stress, please, it's not good for the babies. Everything is going to be okay."
Kurt nodded slowly, sitting down and leaning his cheek against his hand, gazing longingly out of the window. "Please come home," he whispered as Rachel and Santana's footsteps left the apartment, curving a hand over his belly and massaging where their babies slept, tears trickling down his cheeks.
Wandering the streets all night, Blaine knew he'd been irrational. He knew Kurt would never cheat on him after what had happened to break them up, he shouldn't have even brought it up, and he shouldn't have stormed out no matter how spiteful Kurt was being. But he just couldn't go back, after what he'd said, he had to let Kurt think about how soon after their reunion they'd fought, wonder whether he truly wanted this fighting and constant undercurrent of distrust. Maybe now Kurt would leave him again, go back to Adam. Clearly Adam was the better option, sweet and charming and caring. He'd never cheat on Kurt because Kurt would never neglect him, always pick up his call, Adam wouldn't become so insecure in whether their relationship was everything he'd thought it was that he'd sleep with someone else.
Blaine found himself sitting on the ground in an alleyway as the city began to move again, the rumble of car engines and the shouts of people on the street seeming a whole world away from the narrow tunnel where he sat in solitude, tear tracks dried into his skin from crying in the dark at three o'clock in the morning. He'd have to go home at some point, if only to tell Kurt he would set him free if that was what he wanted, to collect his belongings and find somewhere else to build his life on.
He heard sudden footsteps, a cry of, "Blaine!" and Rachel running towards him, colour returning to her cheeks and a smile creeping into the corners of her mouth. "Thank God, where have you been all night?! Kurt's going crazy, he's so worried about you, why didn't you call or something to let us know you were alright? Come on, let's go home."
"I don't want to," Blaine said petulantly, and Rachel paused, staring at him and slowly sliding down the wall to sit next to him. "I don't think Kurt wants me there. Lately he's been all about Adam, even with me right there, and I don't know if he really thought it over when we got back together, if he really wants to be with me."
"Of course he wants to be with you, he loves you," Rachel said softly, reassuringly, reaching out to slide her fingers into his and squeeze his hand tight. "He never stopped loving you. I know how wrecked he was every time he saw you because he didn't know what to do, he was still wearing that one shirt of yours he brought here with him, he cried the night it didn't smell like you anymore, he lived on Ambien and sobbing overThe Notebookevery night for two months after you broke up, he was so happy when you came to see him for Christmas even if it didn't quite show, and let's not even get started on what he was like for those six weeks between the wedding and when he found out he was pregnant. I've never seen him that happy, or heard quite so much I didn't want to hear as I did that night in the hotel. Didn't matter that I was busy with Finn, I'm pretty sure everyone heard you two." Blaine cracked a small smile, and Rachel laid her head on his shoulder and confided, "He fantasised about you singing the most romantic song of all time at your wedding when he was right next to Adam. He was never any more over you than you were over him."
With a sigh, Blaine followed her as she stood up and they walked together back through the streets rapidly filling with bustling crowds, and he had to steady his breathing as they climbed the five flights of stairs back to their apartment, opening the door to Kurt curled up in the armchair, tears rolling down his cheeks, entire face lighting up and relaxing with relief the moment his eyes fell on Blaine, pushing himself up to rush across the room and throw himself into Blaine's arms, sniffling with an oncoming wave of new sobs, gasping out, "Thank God you're okay, I was so scared, I thought you were dead or you'd been abducted and the last thing we'd ever done was fight," against his ear, peppering every inch of skin he could reach with kisses.
"I have to ask you something," Blaine said softly, taking Kurt's hand and guiding him gently into their bedroom, away from prying eyes and ears, "and I need you to be completely honest with me. Can you do that?" Kurt nodded, and Blaine closed their door, sliding the bolt across and sitting down on the end of their bed, gripping Kurt's hands securely in his. "If you had to choose, and you could only have one of us, whether as a friend or a lover or a boyfriend, as a father to the twins, would it be Adam or me?"
"It's always been you, Blaine, and I never meant to give you a reason to doubt that," Kurt answered softly, and Blaine's heart soared and warmed. "I'm sorry, Blaine. I was spiteful and awful, I can't help it when I fight with anyone, I didn't mean to hurt you like that. I swear, I forgave you long ago, I just want us to forget about it and have this family together. I love you and I want this family with you, all Adam is to me is a friend."
"There's something else," Blaine murmured, and he saw Kurt tense nervously. "I've heard from Adam, and now from Rachel, something about you daydreaming about us at our wedding, singingCome What May, while you were sitting next to Adam. What is it, what happened?"
"It was while we were snowed in for a few days, and Adam had been staying over - sleeping on the couch, Santana was sharing my bed because we were too lazy to build hers - and we were watching films because the snowstorm cancelled all our classes," Kurt explained, playing with Blaine's fingers. "It was when I really knew that I was never going to be over you, and I didn't want to be. We were watchingMoulin Rougeand when that song came on I couldn't help it, I saw us at our wedding, singing it, because we always talked about it being our first dance song and everything about it reminded me of you so much. Santana didn't let go of that one for a very long time, and that was the beginning of the end for Adam and I."
"I want that too, Kurt," Blaine whispered, pressing a soft kiss to Kurt's lips and smiling sweetly at him. "I love you, and I want to marry you." Kurt's eyes lit up, and Blaine had a sudden wave of inspiration. "Kurt, I love you, and I know we can overcome anything because of what we have, and I want to spend the rest of time with you. I want you to be mine, no matter what...come what may, I will love you until my dying day. I don't have a ring, but-"
Kurt placed a finger to Blaine's lips, beaming at him, dizzyingly joyful, and said, "Yes, Blaine. Yes, I will marry you." Blaine grinned widely, and Kurt smiled back at him, tackling him to the bed and kissing him hard, Blaine cradling him gently, one hand stroking the side of his bump.
A knock came, unbidden, at the door, and Kurt groaned as he pulled out of their kiss to Rachel calling, "Kurt, Adam's on the phone, he wants to make sure you're okay after you kicked him out and he says your mobile's turned off."
"Tell him to call back later," Kurt replied through the door, kissing down Blaine's neck, hand curled into the notch of his waist. "Tell him I'm busy celebrating our engagement with my fiance." Blaine smiled at him, and Kurt looped a stray curl back behind his hair and kissed him slow and deep, pressing him down into the mattress.
"Do you have to go to class?" Kurt asked petulantly, pouting at Blaine as he put the finishing touches on his hair and shuffled the contents of his bag around. "You could just stay here with me, all day. Continue celebrating our engagement."
Blaine groaned at him, spinning on his heel and sliding his arms around Kurt's waist, kissing his forehead gently. "Sweetie, you know I'd rather stay in bed with you than go to school any day, but I don't think I'd make a great impression if I missed the first day of the year to stay home for sex," he said affectionately, leaning his forehead against Kurt's, and Kurt just laughed, ducking forward to press a kiss to Blaine's lips, hands rising to cup his face and hold him closer. As they parted, Blaine's eyes darkened a shade and Kurt smirking in smug satisfaction, Blaine whispered, "Don't tempt me, baby, you're supposed to be a good influence."
"Okay, go," Kurt finally conceded, kissing Blaine again, short soft pecks. "I'll be waiting for you. All day. In this heat, I might even be naked for you when you get home." Blaine tipped his head back and groaned, and Kurt just laughed giddily, pressing as close as he could against Blaine and kissing him deep and dirty. "Good luck, honey. Love you."
"Love you too," Blaine murmured, and dropped briefly to his knees to pull the hem of Kurt's shirt over his bump and press a kiss to the stretched skin. "And I love you, little ones." Beaming, Kurt hauled Blaine to his feet for one last kiss before Blaine shouldered his bag and left with Rachel's hand tucked into the crook of his elbow, both of them giving Kurt a wave as he stood on the balcony to watch them go.
Santana left for work at eleven, kissing the top of Kurt's head in goodbye and begging him not to eat popcorn and watch TV all day, and Kurt was alone in the apartment with nothing to do but learn sheet music, watch TV or read one of the many baby books people had been gifting him for months. The air was warm and he found himself sliding into sleep, simply melting into the couch.
He was awoken by someone knocking loudly at the door, groaning aloud when he realised he had slept through the day, wasting time that could've been better spent on something else, anything else. Carefully pushing himself up, he crossed the room and opened the door to Adam standing in the hallway, a hopeful smile on his face. "I came to apologise," he said softly, walking past Kurt into the apartment. "I'm sorry, maybe it really wasn't the greatest idea for me to come over here when Blaine was missing."
"I'm sorry, I know I was too harsh with you," Kurt said, lowering himself into the couch again and rubbing a hand slowly over his belly, soothing his babies. "But I was so scared, Adam, I thought Blaine was dead or injured or kidnapped, I thought I'd never see him again. I don't want to raise our children alone now they can have him in their lives."
"You wouldn't have been alone even if Blaine had left you," Adam murmured, something cryptic locked away in his eyes, laying a hand over Kurt's against his bump. "You would've had someone there for you, as your partner, supporting you and helping you through it and willing to have a family and a lifelong relationship with you."
There had been three times in Kurt's life when someone had kissed him and he truly hadn't expected it, and only one of those had been from someone who made his eyes flutter closed and his heart begin to race and his cheeks heat. His eyes stayed open when Adam's lips met his, only frozen for a moment before he pushed the older man away, eyes fiery with anger and hands curved protectively over his belly.
"Are youinsane?!" he shouted, flying to his feet. "I broke up with you months ago! I'm having children with someone else, someone I clearly loved throughout our entire relationship and you still think I'm open to a relationship with you? I'mengaged, for Christ's sake!"
"You're not wearing a ring," Adam said quietly, looking down at his left hand, and Kurt rubbed his fingers protectively, encircling the third finger of his left hand and smiling softly to himself.
"We're going into the city this weekend to look for one and make the decision together, as a couple should," he stated simply, forcefully. "Please just leave. I don't want you here, not until you've gotten over this thing you have about me leaving Blaine for you and you're prepared to support us in getting married and having a family." Adam sighed heavily, but appeared to know what was good for him and left.
Kurt collapsed into the couch, running his hands through his hair and squeezing his eyes shut against the worry seeping into his soul. Blaine had been terrified that he was having an affair with Adam, he had to tell him Adam had kissed him but that would affirm Blaine's untrue beliefs. He'd lose him, and he couldn't let him walk away.
Blaine got home at four, bright-eyed and smiling widely, bouncing into the apartment to wrap Kurt in his arms and press a messy, off-centre kiss to his mouth. "It was such an amazing first day, baby, Ms. July complimented my enthusiasm if not my technique in dance class and Rachel was so helpful, steered me clear of the bitchier students and got lunch for me so I didn't have to stand in the huge line," he recounted excitedly, then paused for breath and looked down at Kurt, barely managing to crack a wan smile. "Kurt, is something wrong? Oh God, it's not the babies, is it?"
"No, no, they're fine," Kurt assured him, smiling slightly as Blaine's hand dropped to his bump, curving over the stretched skin and caressing in slow, soothing circles. "I have to tell you something, but please listen to me before you judge, please don't do anything rash, don't assume." Blaine nodded, the light in his eyes dimming with worry, and Kurt took in a shaky breath before confessing in a rush, "Adam came round to apologise for his behaviour while you were missing, and I apologised for being irrational and throwing him out without really explaining because I was so scared of losing you, and he said I'd still have a partner to support me if you'd disappeared and then he kissed me."
Blaine's face fell, and Kurt desperately blinked back tears, droplets escaping anyway and trailing slowly down his cheeks. "But I swear, I pushed him off straight away and I told him I didn't want that and I never will, because I love you and I'm engaged to you and we're going ring-shopping this weekend, and I don't want anyone else but you and our children. Please believe me, Blaine, please don't be mad."
"I'm not mad," Blaine soothed him softly, cupping his face gently between his hands and wiping away his tears with his thumbs. "Not at you, Kurt, never at you. I'm mad at him for trying to take advantage of you, but I will never hate you for being kissed against your will, I know you would never cheat on me after everything we've been through. I'm so sorry I wasn't here to stop it. This doesn't change anything. I love you, for better or for worse."
"Practicing for wedding vows there?" Kurt teased to cover up how emotional hearing those words from Blaine made him, wiping away stray tears with the edge of his sleeve. Blaine chuckled softly and tilted his head gently up to kiss him, sweet and soft, deeper as Kurt slung his arms around Blaine's neck to bring him closer, Blaine's hand cradling the small of his back and the other against the rounded side of his belly, holding him together and safe and warm, the way he would for the rest of their lives together.