Sept. 5, 2013, 8:33 a.m.
Slowly, Then All At Once: Nine
E - Words: 1,387 - Last Updated: Sep 05, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 11/? - Created: May 15, 2013 - Updated: Sep 05, 2013 162 0 0 0 1
When Kurt next graces the doorway of Blaine's room, six weeks after he told him they're having a baby, Blaine finds himself unable to hold back the tears the moment that beautifully familiar, musical voice softly says, "Hi." Kurt rushes across the room to wrap an arm around him as the tears course down his cheeks, muffled sobs escaping between the fingers of the hand he has clamped across his mouth. "Blaine, sweetheart, don't cry. I'm sorry I didn't come to see you, I've been working a lot and trying to figure things out, please don't cry."
"I thought you'd abandoned me," Blaine chokes out through his tears, cradled against Kurt's side, Kurt's hand sliding curiously over his hip to run over the slight, almost imperceptible new bulge of his belly. "You hear about clients who do that, get someone pregnant and then decide they're not really ready to have a baby and run away. I don't want you to leave me."
"I won't," Kurt promises, squeezing Blaine's hand and hugging him close, a sheen of tears shining in his eyes as Blaine blots up his tears with the edge of his sleeve, sniffling softly. "I'll never leave you, Blaine. I don't want to leave you. I couldn't."
Blaine slumps against Kurt, a new wave of tears slipping down his flushed cheeks. "I know you're lying," he murmurs brokenly. "When I have the baby, this relationship between us will be over. You'll take your son or daughter and just leave me behind. I'm just a carrier. I don't matter."
"Of course you matter, Blaine," Kurt says softly, brushing a curl away from his forehead and kissing his forehead softly. "You'll always matter to me." He clears his throat and cups Blaine's cheek gently, keeping their eyes locked as he says, "I came here today because I have something to say to you. I've thought about this for all these weeks while I've been finishing my designs for the spring shows, and I know you might think this is strange, and you might freak out about it, and I know this isn't the way these arrangements are supposed to go, but you just need to listen. I need you to know this, I need to be able to admit to myself that I did tell you, that I didn't back out because I was scared." He presses his forehead to Blaine's and says, barely a warm breath against Blaine's lips, "I love you. Blaine, I'm in love with you."
Blinking damp eyes and clumped-together lashes at Kurt, jaw a little slack with shock, Blaine sniffs hard and squeaks out, "What? Am I...is this a dream?" Kurt pinches his side, and he jumps at the sharp pain, and Kurt smiles reassuringly at him, a single tear rolling down his cheek. "I'm not dreaming," he murmurs disbelievingly. "I'm not dreaming. You...you really love me?" Kurt nods once, pressing a tender kiss to the corner of his mouth, and Blaine lurches into his open, waiting arms, hooking his chin over Kurt's shoulder. "Kurt, I love you too. I can't believe you love me. Why...when...how did it happen?"
"You were there," Kurt says softly, stroking his hair and cradling him closer with a hand gentle at the small of his back. "I never thought someone could make me as happy as you did after what happened with Brandon, but you made me fly when we spent time together. You make me laugh and you're so beautiful and I don't normally kiss on the first date, Blaine. I thought you were gorgeous the first time we met, and I'll never stop thinking that. I love you so much, and I don't want to let you go."
Finally pulling out of Kurt's strong, warm embrace, Blaine gazes sadly at him as Kurt plays with his hands, smiling hopefully at him with his eyes shining and a flush curling high in his cheeks. "Kurt, I have a ten year contract here, and I'm only halfway through it," he says quietly, tone going monotonous and heart heavy with sadness. "I love you, I do, but I don't have the money to get out of it, and this is my home, my career. This is everything I know."
"So, I'll buy out your contract," Kurt says as if it doesn't matter, as if money is as easy to find as the new leaves growing on the trees outside. "I don't want to leave you here. I don't want to think about you being here alone, away from me. I can't bear the thought of you having other people's children. I just want you with me, and I want us to have children, and a dog, and the house with the white picket fence. I want a family, and I want you to make it with me. I think you're the love of my life, Blaine."
"We've known each other three months, Kurt," Blaine reminds him softly. "People don't fall in love in three months. You don't find the love of your life at a carrier centre."
"Maybe we're the exception," Kurt whispers, and Blaine feels his cheeks warm with a blush of pleasure as Kurt kisses him, hands secure on his waist as he turns his head to deepen the kiss, wrapping his arms firmly around Blaine as Blaine's fingers curl into the material of his shirt over his chest. "I love you, Blaine. I'll do whatever it takes to keep you with me."
"But Kurt, it'll be insanely expensive to try and buy out my contract when I've committed to five more years here, you can't put all your money into me, it's only been a few months," Blaine repeats, and Kurt just smiles at him, pressing their foreheads together as he caresses his belly.
"This is worth everything to me, Blaine," he whispers into the small space between them. "You, and our baby. I want to keep both of you close. I think about us all the time, Blaine. Marriage, and a beautiful baby, and our careers. You can do whatever you want, you can go to college, my job has flexible hours and I can watch the baby. I know I'm seven years older than you, and I know you might want to live a little bit when you get out of here, but I love you, and I want to start a life together now. Even though you'd be worth the wait, I don't know if I could wait five more years. Please consider it."
"But it'll be so expensive, and then you'll have to support me through the pregnancy and then, if I did go to college, there'd only be one income for a long time," Blaine says, blinking away tears. "Love won't get us through. Kurt, I'm sorry, but I just think it would be too hard. I'm not supposed to get attached to clients, this place is my home, and I don't want you paying even more money to get me out because you think I'm your one and only after a few months."
Kurt's face falls, and he stands up, trying to hide the quiver in his lower lip and the tears in his eyes. "I just don't care about the money," he says angrily. "I care about you, and being allowed to make you and me an us. But if you care more about your home here and the money you make than me, then I'll just leave."
"Kurt, please, I love you so much, I'm just thinking about you and the money you'll have to invest, I don't want you to support me for years after you paid money for us to have a baby and money for us to date and money so I can leave here with you," Blaine says frantically, pushing himself up and following Kurt as he starts leaving, swallowing back the lump in his throat and grabbing Kurt's arm. "Please don't leave me. Take time if you need it, but please see that I'm thinking of you here. Please don't forget about me."
Bouncing up onto his toes, Blaine kisses Kurt hard, sinking his hands into his hair and holding him still, watching his eyes flutter open when he pulls away. "I'll think about it, and you think about it properly, and come back when you want to talk," he says softly, and Kurt nods dazedly and leaves.