May 18, 2012, 3:43 a.m.
Falling Slowly: Chapter 18
M - Words: 2,889 - Last Updated: May 18, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 19/19 - Created: Feb 03, 2012 - Updated: May 18, 2012 557 0 2 0 0
“Blaine?”
The curly haired boy looked up from his notebook in Chemistry. Sam Evans stood next to him with a faint smile. He had been back for a few weeks now and had slipped easily back into the routine of public school life.
“Hey, Sam, what’s up?”
“I was wondering if you knew how to do the equations we learned in class today?”
“No, sorry, man. The only way I’ve been getting through this class is with Kur-” He stopped midsentence.
Kurt.
“So uh, how did you like Dalton, Sam?”
“Oh it was all right. They guys were very nice there but the classes were really hard but it was pretty cool. What was the kid who took my place like?” he asked, sitting in Kurt’s old seat.
Blaine smiled sadly to no one in particular. “He was wonderful.”
“Warblers meeting will come to order,” Wes said with a bang of his gavel. “Today we will be deciding who will be singing the solos along with Kurt for our up-coming show at the Golden Years Nursing Home.”
“Councilman Wes, if I may?” Kurt asked.
“The floor is yours, Councilman Kurt.”
“I have been working on a song of my own and I was hoping that I could perform it before you make any decisions.”
“Surely! We haven’t heard you sing since you’ve been back!”
“It’s been far too long,” Nick said from the couch.
“I’ve missed his sexy solos,” Jeff said to his friend.
Kurt stood at the front of the room, taking a deep breath.
“Firstly let me say that I am very grateful to be back here at Dalton Academy. It has been a welcoming return,” he said dully. “While I was at McKinley, I met a lot of great people, people I will keep with me for the rest of my life. While there, I found that I could make real connections with people if I opened myself up to them and gave them a chance. I found that despite everything, love could in fact conquer anything. Well, almost anything. This song is for the someone who taught me that. He taught me that it’s okay to be me. He was my closest friend and well, this is for him.”
Kurt cleared his throat and pressed play on his small CD player.
I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
Kurt thought of Blaine. His Blaine. Well, once his Blaine. How through Kurt’s short time a McKinley, Kurt had done more than just come out of his shell; he had found love. True love, that for him, nothing could break. Sure, maybe Blaine hated him now, but Kurt would never stop loving him.
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
Far away in another town, Blaine sat on a stool in front of the New Directions. His eyes were turned heavenward, seeing something that no one else could see. Pale skin, bright blue eyes, a nose that crinkled with laughter, white teeth beneath soft, pink lips, chestnut-auburn hair styled to perfection.
Kurt, he thought.
He felt tears building and he blinked fast to push them away. Blaine looked back at the New Directions and continued to perform his song.
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
Blaine looked back at the ground, trying his hardest to hide the flood of emotions running through him. He played with the small golden bracelet on his wrist.
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
Kurt turned to the window of the senior commons, gazing at the bright blue sky with its warm, golden sun. A golden sun that shined like the eyes of the one he missed so much and he wondered if Blaine still thought of him.
We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
Kurt’s eyes snapped shut, thinking of his and Blaine’s fight, wishing that he could go back and change the way the situation had gone.
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah
Unknowingly, Blaine joined Kurt on the chorus, both of them singing with every emotion they couldn’t help but feel.
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
“Blaine?”
The small boy looked up from his place in the choir room. Everyone else had since left but he didn’t have the energy or the motivation to leave. There in the doorway was James Bubb. Blaine could feel his rage toward the twin building deep within his chest.
This is your fault, he thought.
“What do you want, Beelzebub?” he asked instead.
James entered the room timidly, wringing his hands together. His eyes were wide with worry beneath a curved brow. This was a completely different James Bubb than Blaine had ever seen before. He could see just how uncomfortable he was and was almost taken back by it. Almost.
“I was uh, I was wondering how Kurt was doing?”
Blaine blinked at him. “What are you talking about?”
“Well you see, it’s been a couple of weeks since Kurt’s been back at his old school and well, I was wondering if, you had heard from him?”
“Why the fuck would I have heard from him, James?” Blaine snapped. “Pray tell, why?”
James recoiled at Blaine’s harsh tone.
“But-but you’re his boyfriend,” he stammered.
“You’re joking, right?” Blaine scoffed miserably. “You have got to be joking.”
“I don’t understa-”
“No, Bubb, I haven’t heard from Kurt because no, we are not together. Oh, don’t look so surprised, as if you didn’t know why it is we’re no longer together.”
“I have no idea-”
“It’s your fault, you know. You kissed him! That’s right. I saw it. I saw you and him in the hallway the week before he went back to Dalton. I saw you two kissing and him not pushing you away. I saw it all. Kurt cheated on me. With you. You’re lucky I haven’t punched your pretty blonde face in by now, Beelzebub.”
James looked at him as if he had an extra eye growing in the middle of his forehead.
“Blaine, Kurt, he didn’t cheat on you.”
“Don’t play dumb, James. I saw the whole thing.”
“Clearly you didn’t,” he countered with a little courage. “Or you would have seen him push me off and yell at me for doing such a thing.”
“Wha- what?” Blaine gawked.
“He told me that he didn’t want me in that way because he was, well, because he was in love with you.”
Blaine’s heart felt like it was on fire. Kurt had said he loved him. Just minutes before Blaine had yelled at him and insulted him so deeply. Kurt had said he loved him.
Kurt loved him!
Blaine felt like such a fool. If he had just let Kurt explain the situation, then none of this would have happened. He and Kurt would still be together, they would still have coffee dates and picnics and movie nights and sing together and oh god what had he done? Blaine had ruined their relationship simply on a speculation that had been proven false.
He had to make this right. He had to get Kurt back. Blaine stood quickly and headed for the door, leaving the blue-eyed twin behind.
“Thanks, James!”
“Hey, where are you going?” he called after him.
“I lost him once, I’m not going to lose him again!” he called over his shoulder.
Kurt stood in the senior commons cleaning up discarded sheet music after Warblers practice. Today, Jeff, Nick, Thad, and Collin had thrown an impromptu performance of Do You Think I’m Sexy? that, of course, the rest of the group had joined in with. In their excitement they had thrown their copies of music around the room. Kurt put on his best face, trying his best to look as happy as his team members were. The other Warblers had long since left rehearsal, leaving Kurt with the mess.
These days, Kurt was having a hard time keeping up his usual front of false bliss and contentment. Even oblivious Jeff had noticed his distance.
“Hey, man, are you alright?” Jeff had asked a few days before in the lounge.
“Huh?” Kurt asked from his place at the end of the large conference table.
“Kurt, you’ve been so out of it lately,” he pressed.
“Oh, no, I’m fine. Just tired I guess from all this homework.”
Jeff looked down at Kurt’s empty notebook in front of him with a curious expression.
“You’re sure there’s nothing wrong? Nothing on your mind?”
“No, I’m fine, Jeff, thank you. Just a lot of work.”
Of course that had been a lie. There had been only one thing on Kurt’s mind since he had returned to Dalton. Blaine Anderson.
Sure, Kurt knew he was supposed to be mad at him for calling him a cheater and more or less a whore. He knew that Blaine was mad at him for those same reasons. But that didn’t stop Kurt from thinking about him all the time. His missed the way his curly hair would fall into his golden, honey eyes as he played his guitar. He missed the way they would clean each other off after a slushie facial. He missed the way he got flustered when he and Kurt tried something new.
“Blaine,” he sighed.
“Yeah?”
Kurt turned around so quickly he was sure he’d given himself whiplash. There, leaning on the doorway, was Blaine. His Blaine. Well, no. Not his Blaine anymore. The realization hit Kurt harder than he would ever admit as he recovered himself.
“What are you doing here?” he said, more coldly than he had anticipated.
Blaine pushed off the threshold, taking a few steps closer to him. Kurt stepped back reflexively, keeping a good distance between them.
“Kurt,” Blaine tried.
“No,” he interrupted. “No, answer my question. What are you doing here?”
“I came to see you.”
Kurt felt like his heart was about to burst open. God how he had missed Blaine’s voice. It was music to his ears, but he couldn’t let him know that. Kurt kept his expression as stony as he could. But Blaine’s face was not what Kurt would have expected. It was soft and pleading and beautiful and perfect and-
Kurt had to turn away from him to keep from crying because he really hadn’t realized just how much he had missed Blaine. It was everything he could do to keep from running into his arms.
No. Stay strong, Kurt. You can’t just cave like that.
“You shouldn’t be here, Anderson,” he spat turning to face him with a hard expression.
Kurt could see the hurt in Blaine’s eyes. “Kurt, please, let me explain.”
“There’s nothing to explain, Blaine! You’re not welcome here.” Kurt made to storm past him.
“Kurt, please, hear me out!” Blaine grabbed Kurt’s arm, trying to stop him.
“Let go of me!” Blaine released him immediately, recoiling slightly.
“Kurt,” he practically sobbed. “Please.”
Taking a closer look, Blaine looked pathetic. Blaine’s hair was even more unruly than before. Kurt could see the bags under his eyes and the redness that was surely from crying. Could Blaine really have been this upset this whole time? Kurt sighed, crossing his arms and cocking out one hip. He gestured for Blaine to continue.
Blaine’s eyes lit up, taking his cue. “Kurt, I’m sorry. I should have listened to you. I ran into James today and he told me everything. Everything I was too blind to see and too stupid to let you tell me. But now I know. I know, Kurt and I’m so sorry. I never should have said those things about you. They’re untrue, all of them. I don’t think you’re capable of doing what I accused you of. You’re too kind hearted and caring and wonderful and perfect and god Kurt-” Blaine stopped himself, choking on his own words. He wiped at the corner of his eyes and continued.
“I-I miss you so much. Us being apart? It’s killing me. I know I hurt you. I know I screwed up and I can understand if it takes a while for you to forgive me, but please, Kurt. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. When we’re not together I feel like there’s a part of me missing. You’re my everything, Kurt, and I’ll do anything to get you back. Not matter what it takes.”
It took all of Kurt’s strength not to burst into tears. Blaine still cared about him. Blaine still wanted to be with him. But the more Kurt thought about Blaine’s words, the more upset he became.
“Blaine,” Kurt said slowly, try hard to keep his voice under control. “I think it’s better this way.”
Blaine’s eyes widened, tears falling freely. “What? What, no! Kurt, please-”
“If what you say is true and being apart is hard now, how could you possibly handle being apart if we were still together?” Kurt moved back into the room, leaning on the back of the luxurious couch. “We’re at different schools now, Blaine. Different towns. We can’t keep this up-”
“But we can!” Blaine said with as much conviction as he could, taking a step closer to Kurt. “I know it might be hard at first, but I don’t care. It would be worth it just to be with you. We could still go to the Lima Bean, we could still hang out on weekends. Hell, I’d drive out here every day if it meant seeing your gorgeous blue eyes again. Kurt, please. Yeah, it’ll be hard, but it doesn’t matter because I-I love you.”
Kurt froze.
“W-what?”
“I mean it,” Blaine said softly, moving closer to Kurt. “I love you, Kurt Hummel.”
Blaine reached his hand up to wipe a tear from Kurt’s cheek. When had he started crying?
“Blaine,” he wept, unintentionally leaning his head into Blaine’s palm.
“Kurt,” he sighed cupping his face in his hands. “Kurt, it’s always been you. No one else. After all this time, after all this heartache and bullying and troubles and emotional fronts and walls we have put up against the world, we were able to find each other. Because we were meant to be together, Kurt. You’re the only one for me and- and I love you so much.”
Kurt tilted his head forward, leaning against Blaine’s forehead.
“You too,” he whispered. “I love you too. So much, Blaine, sometimes it hurts. Never leave me again, Blaine. Not ever.”
“Never. I’ll stay with you as long as you’ll let me.”
“I love you so much.”
He wrapped his arms around Blaine’s neck, pulling him in for a slow and passionate kiss. It had been weeks since their lips had last touched but they both knew there was no need to hurry. As far as they were both concerned, they would have all the time in the world to fall slowly in love until the end of time.
Comments
Glad everything worked out , sad to see it end been fun reading. Thx for sharing
this was amazing