The next morning, Kurt finds himself lying alone in the big bed. Confused, he looks around the apartment before becoming aware of a sound from the bathroom. Ah, Blaine's in the shower, Kurt thinks, laying down again. He presses his head against the soft pillow and sighs. This is what every morning should look like, he thinks. He does not hear the shower turning off, and neither the bathroom door opening.

”Hey you.”, a soft voice says beside the bed and Kurt twitches a little before sitting up.

”You scared me-”, Kurt begins to say but then becomes very aware about the fact that Blaine is standing half naked with a towel wrapped around his lower body, with water still running down his skin and from his wet, now gel free, curly hair. 

Kurt's mouth hangs open, ”God, you look so hot.”

Did he just say that?

”Is that so?”, Blaine answers with a smirk and Kurt closes his mouth as Blaine starts walking towards him, and god, if it's not the hottest thing Kurt has ever seen. Kurt nods, swallowing loudly and Blaine laughs. 

”You're drooling.”, he teases and Kurt's cheeks turns red, ”I'm not.”

”You kind of are though.”, Blaine grins towards him, sitting down on the bed next to Kurt. And then Kurt can't help but to pull the man on top of him, kissing him deeply. He hears Blaine's muffled moan against his lips and smiles.

”You did that on purpose.”, Kurt breathes out as Blaine's lips travels along his flushed skin on his neck, sucking gently.

”Did what?”, Blaine mumbles without letting his lips leave the boy's neck.

”Came out of the shower looking all sexy just to make me do this.”, Kurt smiles again and Blaine lifts his head up to meet Kurt's eyes, ”Maybe I did.”, he answers as his eyes turns darker before returning to kissing the boy fiercely. And Kurt once again can't help himself from moaning loudly into Blaine's mouth.

”God, the sounds you make.”, Blaine groans against him, hands grabbing his hips hard. 

And then Blaine is tugging at the hem of Kurt's shirt and quickly pulls it over Kurt's head. The cool air meets his skin and Kurt shivers from the sensation. Blaine leaves a tiny, purple mark on Kurt's neck, causing the boy to moan even more under him. And oh, Kurt's borrowed pajama pants feels a lot tighter now.

”Blaine-”, he breathes because he isn't sure if they should stop. But Kurt quickly decides that no, he does not want to stop. Not at all. Instead, he drags his hands from Blaine's shoulder and down to his ass, squeezing it just enough for Blaine to moan into his mouth. And if it isn't the sexiest sound that Kurt have ever heard.

”Tell me to stop.”, Blaine breathes hot and heavy against Kurt's lips.

”Make me.”, the boy breathes and feels Blaine tilt his head up to look Kurt in the eyes, and oh, there's that dark shade in Blaine's eyes making Kurt wanting it even more. 

He can feel Blaine getting even harder under the thin towel and just the thought of it makes his heart skip several beats. 

God, he thinks. He feels Blaine's hands on the hem of his pants now and so he wastes no time before lifting his hips up so that Blaine quickly can tug his pajama bottoms off. 

Then there's so much skin. Naked chests, naked backs, naked legs, and Kurt decides he wants even more, darting his tongue into Blaine's mouth again, tugging gently at one of Blaine's curls. And Kurt certainly did not expect that to cause a loud, raspy moan leaving Blaine's throat. He decides that placing his hands on Blaine's ass again might be a good idea and then all of a sudden he is slowly pulling Blaine's towel off from his body. 

Okay, so blaine is naked on top of him now. Completely naked. Kurt moans again and does not mind to follow when Blaine places them both on their sides in the bed, grabbing Kurt's ass, and the boy surely did not expect the sensation that came with that. He moans again and feels Blaine's hand getting more eager on his lower body. Kurt automatically rolls his eyes up when Blaine cups him through his boxer briefs and breathes heavily out in the thick air, not being able to stop himself from bucking his hips up at the touch.

”Fuck, Kurt-”, the man breathes into Kurt's mouth and Kurt is completely lost in this moment. He feels his body aching for more just before Blaine slowly pulls his boxer briefs off, tossing them to the floor.

”Please.”, Kurt hears himself whining while Blaine's lips are rough against his own. 

And the sensation reaching the boy's body and brain as Blaine's hand suddenly grabs Kurt's dick, he sure as hell have never felt anything more amazing than that. He moans again and decides that okay, ”I'll do to you what you do to me”. And so he fumbles with his hand between their bodies until he feels Blaine's dick hard against his hand. Blaine's lips stop moving on his own for a second, as if the man did not expect Kurt to touch him the same way. Two loud moans echoes between the walls. 

”Kurt,”, a whimpering sound leaves Blaine's mouth and Kurt speeds up the pace of his fist. 

A mix of shower water and sweat is running down Blaine's back and Kurt moves even closer to the man, chest to chest. He moans again because oh god he did not even imagine Blaine's hand feeling so good around his dick, but it does. It really does. And receiving loud moans from Blaine against his ear, makes him pretty sure that Blaine think it feels good too. Kurt keeps breathing harshly, thrusting into Blaine's fist, feeling the man doing the same into his hand. 

”Fuck.”, Blaine's moan is raspy into his ear and Kurt rolls his eyes back because he is pretty sure he has never heard any sexier than that. 

”Wait, Kurt, wait.”, Blaine then says all of a sudden and Kurt can hear himself whine when Blaine climbs off him.

”What?”, the boy asks a little breathless, looking up at the man with confused eyes.

”Just lay back, okay?”, he hears Blaine saying and then he finds himself looking down at Blaine's head as the man is kissing his way down Kurt's stomach, and then to his thigh.

”God.”, Kurt breathes out in the thick air before meeting Blaine's eyes one last time before the man suddenly lifts his head, just enough to look down on Kurt's semi-hard dick.

”You're beautiful.”, Blaine says and Kurt can feel his heart pound in his ears and opens his mouth to say something but stops because then Blaine tilts his head forward, closing his mouth over Kurt's dick.

Kurt isn't even embarrassed about the loud, broken moans that leaves his lips when Blaine's head works over him. His mind is spinning and his body is shaking but god, this is probably the best he have ever felt. Kurt grabs the sheets under him, trying to hold onto something, anything, to stop himself from just thrusting himself in Blaine's mouth. He can feel Blaine moaning around his length and that's all it takes. His whole body tense up and he can hear himself crying out Blaine's name and he somehow expected Blaine to pull off when he heard it, but one second later Kurt finds himself coming hard into Blaine's mouth, down his throat. 

The boy tries to catch his breath and looks down at Blaine just to see the man tense up before spilling himself onto the sheets. Kurt's mind is spinning again, still breathing heavily when Blaine crawls up and places his head against the boy's chest. Kurt looks down at the man and notices Blaine looking up at him with wide eyes and a big smile on his face.

”What?”, Kurt breathes out, still trying to catch his jagged up breath. 

”You're just so beautiful.” Blaine answers simply, taking one hand up to cup Kurt's cheek. 

Kurt's heart races a little at Blaine's simple comment, he smiles back towards the very attractive and very naked man next to him. He rest his gaze on Blaine's body, who is now lying on his stomach, revealing the shower water mixed with sweat on his back, his eyes looking deeply into Kurt's with that sparkle of hazel in them.

”You are, too.”, Kurt finally sighs, ”Like full on gorgeous.”

Blaine laughs.

”So what exactly is this?”, Kurt then dares to ask, playing with Blaine's fingers intertwined with his own.

”What do you mean?”, Blaine asks with a calm smile, like he knows what Kurt is trying to say, but just needs to hear the boy say it.

”I mean, us.”, Kurt blushes but does not let himself look away from Blaine's eyes. And he see how they sparkle even more at Kurt's words and the boy's heart drops. Blaine is beautiful.

”I guess we never have talked about being official,- to ourselves, I mean.”, Blaine smiles, pulling Kurt's hand up to place a kiss on his knuckle.

”And?”, Kurt breathes.

”I want to be with you, Kurt.”, Blaine says after inhaling loudly, almost if he needed to search in the air for courage to say it.

”I want you too.”, Kurt smiles, because he thinks he sees where this conversation is going now.

”So guess that means that it's us now? Together.”, Blaine says with a low voice and a smile on his lips, pressing their foreheads together as he shifts his body to lay chest to chest with Kurt.

”Us.”, Kurt agrees and bites back a scream of happiness.

Blaine smiles, hazel eyes under long eyelashes staring into Kurt's wide ones, with their foreheads pressed together.

”Us. Secretly official and all”, Blaine grins. 

When Kurt was younger, about twelve or so, when he started dreaming about his very own prince charming, he never expected his first love to turn out like this. He never expected to fall in love with his English teacher his senior year at high school. He did not expect his first love to be considered illegal and disgusting. But he did expect his first love to be special, to grab a big piece of his heart, to make him feel safe and connected, and to accept him for who he really is, and that part was true. Because Blaine was all that, just like Kurt dreamed about his first love to be like, even if what they had might be considered wrong.

But this was his first love. The first man that made his heart skip beat after beat and who made his stomach feel tingly. And it is all Kurt ever wanted. He wants lazy morning kisses. He wants hours of listening to old vinyls. He wants hours of flirting and tea drinking. He wants it all, and in his mind, there's nothing wrong with it anymore. Kurt knows that every second he spends with this man is being risky, and he knows that it could not only lead to heartbreak, but also to Blaine losing his job, if this would turn out bad. But right now, Kurt does not think about that.

Because he is lying with his chest pressed to this man, his boyfriend, his first love, and nothing else matters. Nothing else but the sound of Blaine's raspy voice and laugh. The feeling of his thumb running up and down Kurt's cheek. The look in Blaine's hazel eyes when they meet Kurt's bright blue ones. Twelve year old Kurt never expected his first love to turn out like this, but this is better than anything he imagined. 

”How are you so amazing?.”, Blaine whispers against Kurt's neck, with his arms wrapped around the boy from behind. 

And the boy smiles. Turning around in Blaine's arms. 

”I really don't want you to go.”, Blaine sighs, placing a slow kiss against Kurt's lips.

”Believe me, I do not want to go either.”, Kurt admits with a groan, stroking Blaine's neck with his hand.

”Tell me why you're leaving again?”, Blaine groans back, like he needs to hear a really good reason to let Kurt leave the apartment.

”Because my phone is dead and so am I if i don't go home. My dad is probably already mad as hell.”, Kurt laughs, kissing Blaine's lips again because he can't get enough of how they feel against his own.

”Right.”, Blaine sighs, smiling a little while resting his forehead against Kurt's, ”Just drive safely. And text me when you get home.”.

”I will.”

”I love you.”

Kurt's heart skips a beat because he is still not used to hearing those words. And they just do something to him. They fill him up a little more every time he hears them.

”I love you too.”, Kurt kisses Blaine slow and tender. 

It's always hard to leave this apartment. But this particular time, it feels like it is impossible. Because they've just spent the night together after being apart without even talking for two damn weeks. And Kurt just wants to stay in that apartment for the rest of his life to make up for those two weeks, but reality calls and he forces himself to drive home. His phone is dead in his pocket and he gives the watch on his arm a tired look. Seven o' clock. 

”Where the hell have you been!?”, his fathers voice is the first thing reaching his ears as he steps into the house.

”I've been calling you since last night and you haven't answered me once!”, his father is all red in his face and Kurt can see how upset he is and feels bad. Because he do not want to cause any pain to his fathers heart after what happened a year ago. And it certainly is not a good thing for him to worry with his weak heart.

”I'm sorry, I- I was at Rachel's house. We had a sleepover. And my phone died.” Kurt can't even look his father in the eyes when he lies. 

”Really? At Rachel's?”, his father is still looking scared, worried and furious.

”Yes, so just relax, please.”, Kurt tries to calm him down.

”Really? Because I am pretty sure that Finn spent the whole night at Rachel's and he still haven't come home, so if you didn't join their romantic dinner last night and shared their bed, lying in between them, I am wondering where the hell you've actually been and why the hell you are lying to me.”, his father sounds calmer now, looking at Kurt with disappointed eyes.

Fuck.

”I- I'm sorry.”

”What happened to you Kurt? You've been weirdly jumpy and nervous for months, and then all of a sudden you got all depressed and wouldn't smile for two weeks, and then you just disappear for twenty four hours without even giving me a call telling me where you are?”, his father's voice is lower and even calmer and Kurt feels ashamed. Because it is true. While he have been struggling with his emotions and love life for the last couple of months, he completely forgot about his father. Making him worried when he barely spoke for these last two weeks. Kurt feels himself tear up.

”I'm sorry.”

”Just tell me what's going on? Come on kiddo, you know you can tell me anything.”, Burt places a comforting hand on his sons shoulder and Kurt slowly looks up.

”It's nothing.”

”It's something. It's someone, isn't it?”

Kurt sighs. Because he remembers that that someone is a secret and they need to hide their love away.

”No, there isn't. I've just been tired lately.”, he lies.

”Damn it Kurt! Why are you lying to me!?”, Burt's voice is angry and worried again, like he knows exactly what's going on but just needs to pull it out of Kurt.

”I'm not lying!”, Kurt raises his voice, his hands flying up beside his face.

Burt opens his mouth to shout something else but gets interrupted as the door opens.

”Hi Finn.”, Burt says after sighing a little.

”Hey, why are you both looking all tense and weird?”, Finn states with a goofy smile and Kurt groans.

”Nothing. We're just fighting because apparently dad is upset by me being a little stressed out and tired because of school.”, Kurt says quickly, receiving an annoyed look from his father.

”That's not the case here.”, Burt starts.

”Whatever dudes. But speaking of nothing, Kurt, do you know where I can get that coat? You know, that one that Mr Anderson have?”, Finn then says with a shrug and Kurt's whole body tense up. He can't help it. He sees how Burt's eyes widens after a few seconds.

”Yeah, I'll, uhm, I'll take you shopping some day. I know where you can get it.”, Kurt manages to answer his step brother who just nods with a smile before making his way into the kitchen.

”It's him, isn't it?”, Burt is staring right into his sons wide eyes.

”What-”

”Is that what this is all about? Mr Anderson?”, his father continues. 

His father knows. Kurt can see it in his eyes and the boy feels absolutely sick and light headed now.

”I've got to go.”, Kurt feels sick as he walks towards the door.

”You're not going anywhere, Kurt!”, Burt protests, walking after him with quick steps.

”I'm not a child! I can make my own choices, just leave me alone!”, Kurt feels tears streaming down his face by now and seats himself in his car.

”Kurt, stay home. Please.”, his fathers voice is calmer now and almost sounds a little scared.

”I'll be home soon.”, Kurt sighs with tears covering his sight as he starts the car.

He does not look out the window on his disappointed father before he drives down the street. He does not even turn the radio on. He simply drives in the dark. Crying his eyes out, just like that night after talking to Blaine's brother about Blaine leaving town. Why can't everything just work out? Because if Kurt would tell Blaine about what just happened, what if he would leave him again? Because Burt knew. Kurt could see it in his eyes. His father knows him too well. He sobs a little, keeping his eyes steady on the road, not quite sure where the hell he is driving. He shivers a bit in his thin coat and breathes loudly, relaxing just a bit. He sobs again and quickly looks out the window. He hears a loud honk that feels like it's right beside his ear. He can hear something crash somewhere and then, suddenly everything in the boys vision is black.