Kurt Hummel never really thought about death. But the first time he actually thought about it, was when he was eight and his mom died, because he did not understand it. What did death mean? What did it do? He had numerous conversation about the dark subject with his father shortly after the funeral. There were so many questions in the boy's head. He was confused. And sad. He had nightmares about death. That it was coming to get him too. And while he did miss his mother like crazy, he did not want death to bring him to her. He did not want to die. He woke up crying several times a month that year. 

Kurt Hummel never really thought about death. But the second time he thought about it, was in his freshman year in high school. Because he understood it now. And he was curious. He was lonely, his father worked a lot and he had no friends at all, so he thought about it. Death. He thought about how if he were with his mother, he wouldn't feel so lonely. Sometimes, he thought about what would happen if he died. Would anyone notice? Would it be for the better if he died so he could meet his mom again? But Kurt decided that no, it wasn't for the better. He wanted his bright future so bad, and he believed in it so hard, and then everything got better. And he didn't think of it at all for another couple of years.

Kurt Hummel never really thought about death. The third time he thought about it was under his heavy eyelids, with that crashing sound in his ears on repeat. Like a song that would not leave his brain. Crash. On and on. Crash. Was this death? Was this the last thing he heard in life? This repeated sound that won't leave his brain? Is this what death is like? He gasped for air but did not feel his lungs fill up. He could not see anything. He could hear things from a distance. Like sounds from a movie. Crash. Police lights? Ambulance lights? Kurt Hummel was confused. Crash. Stressed people talking. Crash. Crash. Crash.

Kurt's eyes flies open. But it is not dark now, he can see things again. It is not dark, but bright. Almost too bright. White walls, a window, white roof. Is this what death feels like? He swallows, feeling his dry throat ache. What is this? He tilts his head slightly to look around the bright room. 

”Kurt?”, a familiar sound reaches his ears and his eyes wanders towards it's direction.

”He's awake now.”, Kurt hears the voice saying, then he feels someone sticking something in his arm. 

”Ouch.”

”Hi kiddo.”, Kurt opens his eyes completely at those words.

His dad is sitting in front of him, face tired and pale, eyes full of tears. Where is he?

”Dad.”, Kurt hears his raspy voice answer and looks around again, ”What's going on?”

”Someone crashed right into your car. But you're okay.”, Burt tells him, voice filled with joy and eyes filled of tears at those last words.

You're okay.

”Oh.”, is all Kurt can say, because what the hell do you say in a situation like this? 

”You've got two broken ribs, a broken arm and a few cuts on your face. But other than that, you're fine.”, a doctor shows up beside his dad, smiling towards Kurt.

The boy nods, suddenly becoming aware of the pain in his body. Right, broken ribs, he thinks to himself, watching the doctor walk out of the room again.

”I knew I shouldn't have let you drive when you were as devastated as you were yesterday.”, Burt bites his lip harshly and Kurt shakes his head.

”No, don't you dare blaming this on yourself, dad.”, he protests, receiving a groan from his father.

”I'm sorry, kid, I just- Shit I could have lost you, you know?”, his fathers says, voice cracking up and Kurt's heart ache at the sight. 

He swore he'd never make his father cry after his mom passed away. And after the heart attack, yeah, his father had definitely been through enough.

”I'm here, I'm not going anywhere.”, Kurt sighs, squeezing his fathers hand.

”Kurt, please talk to me.”, Burt then says and Kurt gives him a nervous look. He does not feel like having this conversation again.

”What is going on? I know you lied yesterday.”, his dad continues, grabbing Kurt's sore hand, ”Please talk to me, kiddo.”

”I don't know what to say.”, Kurt whispers, already tearing up.

”How about the truth?”, Burt smiles a little towards his son, his voice gentle.

”I don't know how to start.”, Kurt sighs. Because he honestly does not know.

”Tell me about Mr Anderson.”, his father suggests and Kurt wants to run away and cry.

Everything he have tried so hard to keep a secret could fall into pieces within seconds. The love he have been hiding away from everyone. The truth that only him and Blaine knew.

”I love him.”, Kurt can't help the words from falling out of his mouth and he starts crying his eyes out. What the hell did he just do? He ruined it. He ruined everything.

”Are you sure?”, Burt does not sound as shocked as Kurt thought he would, but he shoots his son a questioning look, while he keeps squeezing his hand.

”It's been a few months. I'm in love with him.”, Kurt can't stop crying, he takes a deep breath, ”And he loves me too.”

”I figured.”, Burt then says quietly with a nod and Kurt immediately ignores his own tears, looking at his father with wide, scared eyes. 

”What- How?”, Kurt whispers, slowly sitting up to straighten his back, still with his eyes on his father.

”Because when I called the school this morning, saying that you were in a car crash yesterday and will not show up for school for a few weeks, I did not expect a teacher coming here within minutes, crying his damn eyes out, asking a nurse if he could see Kurt Hummel.”, Burt sighs, leaning back against the chair and Kurt forgets how to breathe.

”What?”, he manages to whisper.

”But he did. Mr Anderson did. But I wasn't really chocked.”, Burt continues, noticing how Kurt's hands starts shaking.

”It just all made sense when he came here, crying and shaking. Because I told the school that you were okay, but this man still came here, looking like a freakin' mess, crying his damn eyes out.”, his father sighs and Kurt looses his ability to breathe again, ”It is kind of obvious that this man cares deeply for you, Kurt. Maybe a little more than a teacher should.”

”Dad, please, y- you can not tell anyone. I will break it all off if that's what you want, but please do not tell anyone, he could lose his job and-”

”Kurt, breathe.”, his father stops his panic attack and stands up to lay two hands on Kurt's shoulders.

”Please. Please do not tell anyone. We've been fighting so hard for this and-”, Kurt starts crying again and Burt just shakes his head.

”Kurt. I won't tell anyone.”, he says with a calm voice and Kurt shoots his eyebrows up.

”What?”, his tears are still running without a pause down his cheeks.

”I won't tell anyone. I know what the law says regarding these, uhm, things. And I won't tell anyone. As long as he doesn't hurt you in anyway. Or pressure you to do something you don't want to do.”, his father says with a tired voice, sitting down in the chair again.

”Are you serious?”, Kurt whispers, not believing what he is hearing for a second.

”How could I?”, Burt laughs a little, ”I mean, he has been sitting in that waiting room for hours now, worrying his ass off and hasn't been able to see you since he can't really tell the nurses that he is your teacher, but also happens to be in love with you and that that's the reason he is crying like a kid.”, he continues and Kurt sobs again.

”And you know, I realized that he really cares for you. Deeply. I realized that a while back actually, that whole Karofsky incident, you know? He was so protective and so angry about it all and I could just tell that he really cared about you. But I didn't really get that he cared about you as in he is in love with you, but uhm.”, his father continues his little explanation and Kurt does not even know what to think.

”And you were so sad these last two weeks, and then I remembered Finn saying something about coming home early from school one day because his English class was cancelled since Mr Anderson was out of town for two weeks. And I guess I sort of just suspected things after that.”, Burt says and Kurt can't even breathe as he listens. 

”And that comment about the coat someone forgot at our house. How Finn said that Mr Anderson had a coat exactly like that and you looked like you were about to faint or something. It all made sense to me after a while.”, a toneless laugh leaves Burt's lips and Kurt looks down on his pale hands, ashamed.

The boy does not know what to feel or what to think. About the fact that his father is calm about the fact that he is dating his teacher, or about the fact that that same teacher is sitting in the waiting room at the hospital, crying, waiting for Kurt. Kurt feels light headed. 

”We tried to just ignore it for a long time, you know.”, Kurt eventually sighs and Burt shifts a little in his chair.

”And it was all innocent and just discrete flirting before classes, but then we sort of started seeing each other outside of school, and then things just kind of developed from there.”, Kurt tells him with scared eyes and a sigh leaving his mouth.

”It's okay, you do not have to tell me the whole story now, kid. I mean, you just woke up after a car crash, for gods sake.”, Burt reminds him with a calm smile and Kurt shrugs a little.

”Do you promise not to tell anyone?”, Kurt asks with a shaky voice.

”I promise, kid. I know the risks you both take so no, I won't tell anyone. But I would appreciate it if you can keep it all on the down low until graduation, you know?.”, Burt says, his voice a bit uncomfortable.

”I love you, dad.”, Kurt starts crying again, leaning forward to hug his father.

”Take it easy kiddo, be careful with those ribs. And I love you too.”, Kurt looks up at his father with a huge smile. Because what else can he do?

”By the way, that poor man have been waiting here for hours like I said, he does not even know that you woke up. I should probably go tell him, wouldn't want to cause him any unnecessary heartache and anxiety.”, Burt then says with a slow smile, walking towards the door.

”Wait-”, Kurt says but his dad is already out of the room. 

He closes his eyes and leans back. Never in his mind would he think that he would be having that conversation. And that his father would actually be okay with it. Well, maybe not okay with it, but at least he would not tell anyone. He would keep their secret. He shifts nervously on the bed, closing his eyes again, leaning his head against the pillow. 

”Kurt.”, a warm, cracked voice says and Kurt's eyes flies open.

”Hi Blaine.”, he manages to breathe out as the other man makes his way across the room to embrace the damaged boy. 

Kurt does not even feel his broken ribs hurt as Blaine hugs him tightly and holds on for dear life.

”I thought I lost you.”, Blaine sounds like a mess and this is the first time Kurt have seen the man cry this much.

”I'm here.”, Kurt breathes, stroking his hands along Blaine's back, hearing the other man sobbing against his neck, ”I'm okay.”

”I'm not leaving you.”, he continues, feeling his neck getting wet from Blaine's tears and the boy feels powerless. Because he does not want Blaine to hurt and cry like this. He wants him to feel better. He wishes he could just crack a witty joke to cheer him up.

”I love you.”, Blaine cries with a weak voice against Kurt's neck, still clinging onto the boy.

”I love you too.”, Kurt holds him closer. He never felt like he was someone who was able to protect anyone. But right here with Blaine crying in his arms, he feels like he can. He can protect Blaine, and he will. He will protect him from everything bad this world might throw at him. Kurt holds him tighter and kisses his neck, ”so much.”

Blaine finally tilts his head up to look at Kurt with watery, red eyes. Then he looks down and his eyes widens a bit.

”God, sorry. I heard the doctor saying something about broken ribs and wrists.”, Blaine says, quickly crawling off Kurt.

”Do you hurt?”, he asks silent and seats himself down beside the boy.

”No.”, Kurt answers, because he really doesn't. How could he now when he has Blaine with him, and his father knows about them and still loves him and promised to keep their secret. To help them hide their love away. So how could he feel bad?

”I'm okay.”, Kurt continues and Blaine smiles, tearing up again.

”Did it happen while you were driving from my place?”, Blaine asks with a shaky voice, looking at Kurt with sad, shiny eyes.

”No, I was at home and I got into this argument with my dad, and I went out and thought that I would just drive for a while, to think. And then it happened.”, Kurt explains, a little surprised that he actually remembers it all now when he thinks about it.

”I'm really sorry about all this, Kurt.”, Blaine whispers with a smile, laying a comforting hand on Kurt's thigh, ”I just realized something.”, he then continues with a toneless laugh.

”What?”, Kurt raises his eyebrows.

”Your dad is probably wondering what the hell I am doing here, crying like a baby.”, he laughs nervously again and Kurt swallows.

”He knows.”, Kurt admits, looking down because he is not ready for Blaine freaking out and leaving him again.

”What?”, Blaine says and Kurt is surprised by how calm he sounds.

”He told me he sort of realized things after the Karofsky incident. He noticed how upset you got and then he noticed how upset I was when you left town and he just thought we really cared about each other, but then after yesterday, he just realized it all.”, Kurt rambles, trying to explain it but gets interrupted by Blaine's lips on his.

”It's okay. Breathe. We'll figure this out.”, Blaine says with a shaky voice, cupping Kurt's cheeks.

”I'll quit my job, I- I can try to talk to your dad too, so he does not tell the police.”, he continues and Kurt shakes his head quickly.

”He won't tell anyone, Blaine.”, Kurt says.

He knows that this hazel eyed, sad man in front of him doubt his words so he pulls him towards his face again.

”He said he knows the risks and did not want either of us to suffer the consequences if anyone found out. So he promised to keep it a secret.”, Kurt breathes out between desperate, quick kisses.

”Are you sure?”, Blaine sighs against his lips and Kurt feels a shiver through his spine.

”Trust me.”, Kurt breathes and Blaine nods, pressing their lips together again.

”I trust you and you trust him, so I guess that means that i have to trust him too.”, Blaine says with a sigh and nuzzles his face against Kurt's shoulder. 

”God, I wonder what Figgins thought when I just left work this morning.”, Blaine then laughs a little and Kurt smiles.

”I literally just left my books and my coffee and everything, right there on the desk.”, he continues and Kurt laughs, stroking Blaine's gelled hair.

”How could you forget about the coffee?”, Kurt teases, ”I thought we knew each other enough for you to know that having some coffee spilled all over me really makes my days better.”

”I'm still happy about that coffee incident though.”, Blaine laughs, kissing Kurt's hair as the boy leans against his shoulder.

”It was sort of remarkable.”, Kurt winks, smiling as Blaine kisses the corner of his mouth.

”It was historical.”, Blaine corrects him with a grin and Kurt rolls his eyes with a laugh.

”I love you so much, please know that.”, Blaine then sighs.

”I know. And I love you too, I do.”

”Graduation is like six months away now, isn't it? We'll just have to work this out until then, and after that, no one can tell us that we're wrong.”, Blaine starts rambling and Kurt laughs. This man is adorable. With his shiny eyes and his small hands. 

”We will work this out.”, Kurt agrees and Blaine smiles again. Seeming a bit more calm. 

”It will be okay. We will be okay.”