(1)

Blaine had had enough of Kurt’s ‘friends’ and decided that something needed to be done about how they treated Kurt and what they thought of him; but first he needed to get Kurt back. He needed Kurt to love him.  So, he made a spur of the moment decision to go to his house and surprise him in hopes that it would get him to talk to him.  With him he carried a single red rose.

Blaine got to the front door and noticed it was unlocked and that Kurt’s car was the only one in the driveway, so he let himself in.  He remembered from the few times he had been to Kurt’s house where to go to get to Kurt’s bedroom.  He walked down the not-so-familiar hallway until he found the stairs leading up to Kurt’s bedroom. 

He climbed them slowly not wanting Kurt to hear him; it was a surprise after all.  And boy oh boy was he surprised when he walked into the bedroom of the man he loved to see him passed out on the floor; lifeless and covered in a pool of blood which was still flowing from his wrist and staining the pristine white carpet. His hand released the rose and it fell to the floor as Blaine rushed over to kneel by his love.

“Kurt! Oh my god, Kurt please baby wake up!” Blaine cried frantically.  He brought two fingers to Kurt’s neck searching for a pulse.  Luckily there was one but it was eerily faint.  Blaine ripped off his sweater and wrapped around Kurt’s cut wrist.

Once he was sure he’d stopped the immense flow of blood oozing from Kurt’s wrist he scrambled to get his cell phone out of his pocket so he could call an ambulance. 

“9-1-1 what is your emergency?” said the operator in her trained monotone.

“I need an ambulance! 415 Whitman Avenue, my boyfriend, he-he tried to kill himself; he’s lost a lot of blood please hurry!” Blaine cried hysterically to the emergency operator.

“I’ve sent an ambulance to 415 Whitman Avenue, now you need to stay calm and explain to me what happened” said the operator in a soothing voice; it was doing nothing to calm Blaine’s nerves. 

“I-I came over to-to-talk to him and I found him unconscious on the floor of his room!   He has cuts on his wrist, I-I think I’ve stopped the ble-bleeding but I’m so scared.  Please he needs help!” Blaine babbled.

“Alright son I need to know, does your boyfriend have a pulse?” she asked timidly.

“Yeah I checked, but it’s so weak and-I can’t lose him” Blaine wailed.

“Just stay calm, now what is his name?” she asked warily. 

“Kurt. Kurt Hummel” Blaine informed the elderly-sounding lady.

“Okay thank you, the paramedics should be there any minute.”

Blaine nodded although she couldn’t see him.  He was rocking himself soothingly still clutching on to his lifeless Kurt.  He was applying pressure to the wounds; something he had learned from his extensive first-aid training that his parents had forced him into taking.  He made a mental note to thank them later. 

As he was trying to calm himself down he noticed a white sheet of paper lying on Kurt’s bed folded neatly in half.  His face blanched when he realized what it was; Kurt’s suicide note. 

He scampered over to Kurt’s bed and shoved the letter in his pocket promising himself he would read it later.  Right now his only focus was keeping Kurt alive until the paramedics got there. 

As if on cue Blaine heard the wail of sirens and feet shuffling on the main floor and up the stairs.  As soon as he saw the first of the two paramedics Blaine felt an invisible weight being lifted off of his shoulders.

The first was a man looked to be in his mid forties early fifties.  He had short, buzzed hair that was a mix of white, black and gray and he sported a freshly shaved goatee.  The next was a woman who looked much younger, no older than thirty.  She had long curly blonde  hair tied back in a neat pony tail and bright blue eyes that reminded Blaine far too much of Kurt’s. 

“I’m Ted and this is my partner Nicole.  We’re going to help your friend out here today.  Now tell me, was he conscious when you found him?” asked Ted as he set up different tools and instruments that left Blaine dazed and confused. 

“No” Blaine responded weakly.  His shoulders were slumped into a pity poor posture and his eyes were red and puffy, as if they’d cried a thousand tears.  In truth, the tears needn’t be cried anymore.  His eyes had given up on crying and the tears were just falling from his eyes now, blurring his vision slightly.

“Any allergies that you’re aware of?” inquired Nicole.

“None that I’m aware of.  Is he going to be okay?”  Blaine insisted.

“We’re doing everything to make sure he is going to be fine” Ted informed him from over Kurt’s unconscious body where he was running several tests and hooking Kurt up to various machines.

“Right now though, we need to take him down to the hospital for blood transfusions and to get those wounds looked at.  And he’ll need to be put on suicide watch” explained Nicole.

“I’ll go with him to the hospital” Blaine informed the duo.  They simply nodded and transferred Kurt onto the gurney that Blaine hadn’t noticed they’d brought in.   They quickly collected all the instruments they’d laid out moments before and they headed downstairs and outside with Kurt strapped securely on the gurney. 

Blaine’s eyes raked up and down Kurt’s limp body as sobs violently shook through his own.  Once they were settled in the ambulance and on their way to the hospital Nicole put a comforting hand on Blaine’s shaking shoulder.

“Could you please call his parent they’ll need to get to the hospital as soon as possible” she asked.

“Oh, yeah sure” Blaine snuffled.  He dug into his pocket for his phone and once again was reminded of the pristine white page that also resided in his short-pants pocket.  Feeling the cool paper brought on another fresh round of silent sobs.   He scrolled through his contacts until he landed on Burt Hummel’s name.  He hit the green talk but;

“Hey Blaine what can I do for you?” Burt asked.

“Burt you need to sit down” Blaine cautioned. 

“Okay I’m sitting, what is it?” Burt asked vigilantly.

“Burt, Kurt tried to kill himself.  We’re in an ambulance on our way to the hospital right now.  I came over to try and talk to Kurt and the door was unlocked so I let myself in then when I got to his room I found him unconscious on the floor” Blaine cried harder than he had ever cried before.  Somehow telling Burt made everything seem so much more real.

“I’m-I’m in Columbus but I’m leaving right now.  Kid, can you stay with him until I get there?  I know he broke up with you but-but he loves you and he can’t be alone, please Blaine?” Burt begged.  Hearing Burt so broken broke Blaine’s heart even more.  Although he and Kurt only dated for a couple of months before the New Directions forced Kurt to break up with him, he and Burt had grown quite close and never lost contact after Kurt broke up with the former. 

“I wouldn’t dream of leaving him, we’re almost here.  The med’s are saying he’s stable but he’s going to need a blood transfusion.  He-uh-he chose a blade, so” Blaine whispered solemnly. 

“Oh god, I’m such a terrible father” Burt admitted sadly.

“NO! You are an amazing father. You are the kind of man I aspire to be one day.  I have a feeling I know who’s fault this it” Blaine assured the poor old man.

“Who, I’ll kill the bastard!” Burt raged.

“Burt, your heart” Blaine warned.

“Screw my heart, my son tried to kill himself!” Burt rabidly raged.

“Burt please, just concentrate on getting to the hospital.  I’ll take care of the rest” Blaine explained.

“I’m still an hour away.  I’ll be there as soon as I can.  Thank you so much Blaine; for everything” Burt whispered dejectedly before hanging up.

A few seconds after Blaine hung up with Burt they arrived at the hospital.  Kurt was rushed into the emergency room and Blaine was forced to wait in the small ICU waiting room until a nurse came and got him. 

Blaine sat down on the uncomfortable plastic chairs.  He looked around the surprisingly crowded room.  He buried face in his hands and tried to calm the tears that were still relentlessly racing down his scuffed tan skin.

“Are you alright?” asked a small child who was sitting in the chair beside him.  She wore a concerned but innocent look that completely broke whatever of Blaine’s heart that was left. 

“Not right now” Blaine said sadly.  The small girl with bright red hair and gorgeous green eyes hopped out of her chair and embraced Blaine in a warm hug you could only receive from a child.

“Thank you for the hug, it just made me feel a little bit better” Blaine lied easily to the girl not wanting to upset her kindred spirit.   

“You’re welcome!” she giggled.  She kissed his slightly scruffy cheek before toddling back over to who Blaine inferred was her mother.  The woman gave Blaine a sad smile before returning her attention to her babbling toddler.

Without the distraction Blaine’s mind wandered back to the events of his day.  He thought about the rose falling free from his grasp and tumbling to the ground just as he wished he could.  How he could literally feel his heart shatter when he saw Kurt on the floor of his room unconscious and vulnerable. 

Suddenly his phone was vibrating in his pocket.  He was shaken from his thoughts and he picked it out of his pocket.  He answered it without looking at the caller ID. 

“Hello?” Blaine answered in a pitifully sad tone.

“Blaine! Honey where are you?!?! It’s almost dinner time, you were supposed to be home an hour ago” Carla Anderson, Blaine’s mother, asked worriedly.

“Mommy!” Blaine cried.  Hearing his mother’s voice made him feel like a little kid.

“Blaine sweetheart what’s wrong?” Carla asked.

“Mommy, I’m at the hospital” Blaine whispered as he cried. 

“Are you okay, what happened?” she worried.

“I went over to Kurt’s to see if he would talk to me like you suggested and when I got there I found him unconscious on the ground.  He tried to kill himself mommy, now I’m at the hospital waiting to see if he’s okay and I’m so scared.  Mommy I’m so scared!” Blaine sobbed.

“Oh baby, I’m so sorry love.  Which hospital are you at?” she asked in her concerned mom tone.

“Lima Memorial” Blaine answered dully.

“Mommy will be right there, you just hang tight and give me and your father ten minutes, tops!” she assured him before hanging up. 

With still little to no reassurance that everything would be okay the note in his pocket suddenly weighed a million tons and Blaine couldn’t bare his curiosity any longer.  He pulled out the paper to read what it said.  Before he could get past ‘To whomever finds this…’ that was written on the outside of the folded sheet his attention was focused on Burt who had just arrived.

“Blaine!” Burt breathed once he saw the sad looking dishevelled boy whom he saw as his own son.  Though Kurt and Blaine had only known each other one week prior to Kurt breaking up with him Blaine’s feelings had only intensified through the time between Kurt calling them off and to when he walked in to find the man he loved dying on the floor.

“Burt!” Blaine cried before launching himself into the older man’s waiting embrace. 

Both men clenched on tightly to each other as they tried to sob away all their pain.  They cried for Kurt, for themselves, for his family, for Elizabeth; Kurt’s mom who wouldn’t have wanted her son to feel the way he had.  They cried in mourning for that one blissful week they’d had before Kurt has slipped up and told his ‘friends’ about them;  which in turn caused their break up at the instance of the New Directions.

Days, weeks and months could have passed but neither man would have noticed; they were too caught up in the other’s embrace.  Harshly they were brought out of their own little world by a doctor calling out.

All of the waiting room patrons looked hopefully at the doctor praying that they would call out their loved one’s name; Burt and Blaine included. 

“Hummel?” called the doctor. 

Burt and Blaine both shot into action as they raced over to the corner of the room where the doctor was standing. 

“How is he?” Blaine cried.

“Is he okay?” pleaded Burt. 

“You are his Dad I presume?” asked the doctor.  Burt nodded.  “And you are?” he nodded towards Blaine.  Blaine not sure how to answer the question was taken a back when Burt answered for him.

“This is Kurt’s boyfriend, so I suggest if you have a problem with that you leave so I can find a different doctor who isn’t a bigot” Burt rushed.  The doctor looked wary for a second but quickly regained his swagger. 

“No problems whatsoever.  Now Mr. Hummel, Kurt is awake we only needed to give him a pint of blood and stitch and bandage his wrists which were deeply cut.  I’ve put him on 72 hour watch but he won’t speak to anyone.  He just keeps asking for Blaine, so if there is any possible way we could get this ‘Blaine’ in there to talk him down from his panic attack then that would be great” the doctor explained. 

“I’m Blaine” Blaine whispers.

“Oh excellent! This way then” they doctor urges.  Blaine sends a questioning look at Burt who nudges him on.  Blaine nods once and squeezes the older mans hand before following the doctor down the clean white halls of the hospital. 

They stop at a room labelled 518 and it’s only then that Blaine realizes they are on the fifth floor. 

“Okay, now when you walk in you are going to be alone.  I want him to talk to you so I don’t want to scare him alright?  Just be there for him and let him come to you.  To much prodding could set us back instead of bring us forward and we don’t want that” the doctor informed him.  Blaine nodded before pushing the door open. 

As soon as the door shut behind him he turned around to see Kurt lying on the plain white hospital bed.  His skin so pale there was hardly a difference from the crisp white sheets.  He had large dark purple circles under his eyes and his lips were pale pink and cracked.  Kurt’s hair was a ruffled mess that Blaine found absolutely adorable.   His wrist was covered in thick white bandages and an IV hooked up to several different bags was connected to the top of his hand.  He looked so fragile and sickly some might have mistaken him for being on his death bed.

Blaine slowly approached the bed until he was almost at the rail.  Kurt turned his head towards the noise Blaine’s feet were making and they locked eyes.  Instantaneously both boys eyes filled with tears.  Blaine swooped down to envelope the delicate boy in a soft embrace that conveyed all the emotions he felt for him. All the love and sorrow, the pity and the warmth was all channelled through that one embrace.

All too soon Blaine pulled away but only for a moment so he could place a soft kiss on Kurt’s dry lips.  Blaine’s hand lightly cupped Kurt’s cheek and his thumb stroked Kurt’s muffled chestnut hair. 

“I love you so much Kurt” Blaine admitted through the tears of sadness and happiness.

“I love you too Blaine, so much” Kurt finally admitted to himself.  He really couldn’t see the point of lying anymore, everyone was going to hate him for trying to kill himself anyway.  But in truth he was so happy that someone had found him, he knew now how precious life was and he no longer wanted to die. 

“Kurt, I was so scared.  I love you so much please don’t ever leave me again” Blaine pleaded into Kurt’s shoulder.

“I am so sorry Blaine.  I see how stupid I was now, I just.  Blaine please don’t hate me.  I can take everyone else hating me for being so stupid but I can’t take it if you hate me.  Please still love me” Kurt cried. 

“Kurt, baby no one will hate you!  Kurt when I found you lying there in your room I thought I was going to die.  I’ve known you for two weeks and I can already tell you that I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone in the entire world.  When I thought I’d lost you I couldn’t breathe.  You are my air, the sun in my life and the moon in my night, you are everything.  Please don’t ever leave me again” Blaine pleaded in retort to Kurt’s plea.

“Okay so it’s settled no one’s ever leaving anyone, alright?” Kurt cried through a tiny smile.  Things weren’t okay, and they wouldn’t be for a long time but together with the help of Burt and Blaine’s parents Tony and Carla they could get through it.  Blaine knew this as he clutched onto Kurt and planted sweet kisses in his hair murmuring promises of forever.

-Page Break-

Later that evening after many visits from family, doctors, nurses and physiatrists Blaine found himself sitting on the tiny pull out cot in Kurt’s hospital room thinking about nothing specifically.  Earlier the nurses had tried to get Blaine to go home and rest which had sent Kurt into a full blown panic attack, and Blaine quickly assured them that he would be fine and would be staying with Kurt.  They’d complied at Burt’s assistance and now Blaine was alone with a sleeping Kurt and just his thought. 

Again the note in his pocket suddenly felt like it weighed a million tons.  Blaine made sure Kurt was fast asleep before he pulled it out of his pocket.  He sat back on the chair and began reading. 

On the front of the folded note it said ‘To whomever finds this…’.  Blaine opened the folded paper.

As my final wish I’d like to ask that everyone who is addressed gets the opportunity to read this…if they wish.

Blaine;

If you are reading this then I am so very sorry.  If there is one thing I’m going to miss about being alive it’s you and my Dad.  Though I suppose I haven’t really been living since I broke up with you one week ago.  Please don’t blame yourself because this had nothing to do with you, or my father.  Could you tell him that?  My life has been full of heartache and sorrow and Blaine I’m just so tired.  So, so tired.  I can’t go to school without worrying about being shoved into lockers, beaten into a pulp, slushied beyond repair or insulted to the point of tears.  And surprisingly enough it’s not even the bullies that have given me the worst of it.  It was my friends.  Please just know how much I’ve loved you and how much you’ve helped me everyday.  You brought happiness to me when I had no hope of ever smiling again. And just please remember that this was not your fault, you can’t fix something if you don’t know it’s broken, and you didn’t know, and please move on.  Love another but never forget the love we’ve shared. I love you so much, fly my beautiful little warbler.  Be free.

Dad;

I am so sorry Dad you have no idea how sorry I am.  I love you so much that this is so hard to do but it’s my time.  I can’t stand living like this and I know that if I go to you about my problems I’ll only end up ruining the happiness you’ve found with Carole.  I want you to know how much you’ve meant to me and how much you’ve taught me.  I only wish I was as strong as you are.  You could get through this and I’m taking the easy way out.  I’m with Mom now so don’t be too sad, I’m in a better place where no one can hurt me and make my existence miserable like they have.  And I know they’ll be better off without me; they’ve said it before.  Until the next time I see you, I love you forever old man.  

New Directions;

I’m sorry I’ve backed out on you at the last minute.  I know you’ll be disappointed in me for bailing right before sectionals but it’s for the better.  Rachel, now there won’t be anyone to compete for solos with.  You’ve always said you were better than me and now you’re right.  Someone strong enough to be the lead soloist would never coward out like I am.  But it’s the only way I know how to get this pain to stop.  Finn, I’m sorry I’ve caused you so much grief for being the football player with a gay step-brother.  I know it’s hard for you.   Please take care of Carole and my father, I don’t expect them to take this in stride but I can only hope that this will relieve some of the tension in your life and make you happy again; that’s all I’ve ever wanted; to make people happy.  To the rest of you I don’t suppose you care enough to even read this but if by the off chance you do I’m sorry for being such a pest to you and I want to thank you for tolerating me while I was there.  You were the only people that didn’t physically hurt me (most of the time.) 

To all of you;

I love you.

~Kurt Hummel.

By the time Blaine was finished reading there were so many tears in his eyes that he couldn’t see straight.  He pocketed the note and headed over back to the chair that was right beside Kurt’s bed.  He kissed Kurt’s lips lightly; not hard enough to stir the sleeping boy. 

Blaine knew what he had to do.  Someone had to talk to the New Directions to make sure they knew that it was their fault and someone to make sure they suffered like Kurt did.  They needed to feel guilt and sorrow.  But for now Blaine would sit by Kurt’s bedside and protect him from all the demons that possessed Kurt’s suicide addled mind. 

When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide
Don’t get too close
It’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide

Post A/N: So that’s par two! I hope you’re enjoying!  I originally said this would be a two shot but I have an idea for a third and final chapter then an epilogue so if you would like to read that then please review/favourite/follow!