1)

“Rachel for the last time nobody cares!” Quinn shouted across the choir room.  They were in the middle of yet another cat fight while they waited for Mr. Schue to show up and start practice.  They were currently fighting about the fact that Rachel wouldn’t be getting a solo at Sectionals.

“Well they should!” She screamed back, people had gravitated towards each side of the room silently signalling which side they were on.  Rachel and Finn stood on one side and everyone else except Kurt and Mike was on Quinn’s side.  Kurt and Mike were ignoring the whole situation completely so they hadn’t bothered to pick sides.

            “Without me singing lead we will lose for sure! Do you know what colleges accept losers? Oh yeah! None!” Rachel yelled.  She was raging around her side of the room, muttering things under her breath about how nobody appreciated her talents.  This received an eye roll from everybody in the room, including Finn. Luckily though, she hadn’t noticed.

            “Rachel, we’re not saying that you don’t have talent we’re just saying that it’s time to give other people a chance.  Besides, the solos were given to other people who also happen to be just as talented” Mercedes calmly explained.

            “The solos were given to Kurt and Santana!  Santana will probably try to steal the spotlight from everyone with her being from Lima Heights Adjacent and-” she began.  Before she could finish Santana flung herself out of her chair fully intending to beat the crap out of the Streisand wannabe. 

            Luckily for Rachel the guys all held her back and soon enough everything was settled leaving Rachel flustered and Santana being held down on a chair muttering something about killing Rachel in Spanish.

            “Well, even though that was a completely inappropriate worry about Santana who will sing her solo amazingly there’s still Kurt and there’s no denying that he’s got the talent to win it!” Tina assured.

            “Oh please! Kurt sings like a girl and looks like a chubby thirteen year old girl, we’re doomed!” Rachel cried.  Kurt snapped out of his blatant state of ignoring Rachel Berry upon hearing his name and he heard every heart shattering word coming from his ‘best friend’s’ mouth. 

Tears formed in the corners of his eyes and his lips began to quiver.  His body ached for a good cry but he forced himself to push the emotion down and act like he wasn’t fazed by her rude and totally uncalled for.  No one even noticed how hurt he was, or how self conscious the one comment made him in his already fragile state. 

He coasted through the rest of practice until the final bell finally rang and he could escape.  He all but ran to his car where he promptly lot control of the emotions he had been bottling up and he cried.  After he was finished sobbing he drove straight to the gym deciding on skipping dinner in favour of burning off those pounds that made him chubby.

(2)

A few days later Kurt got home from a long day at school and planned on going upstairs to his bathroom, putting on the Wicked soundtrack and taking a nice long bubble bath. Those plans were soon bashed when he got in to find almost the entire football team lounging in his living room.

“Finn, what’s going on?” Kurt asked.  He drew the attention of all the boys and Kurt immediately became defensive.  He straightened his posture and put on his hard, emotionless face; refusing to let them faze him.

“What the hell dude?  I thought you said the faggot wasn’t going to be here” said Azimio.  Kurt flinched at the use of the derogatory word.  Finn didn’t. Kurt was immediately hurt by the fact that his new step brother didn’t even scold his friends for being rude. 

Instead he told his friends he’d be back in a minute and ushered Kurt into the kitchen so they could talk.  Kurt had never felt so hurt in his life.  It was bad enough that they bullying was going on a school, he wasn’t sure he could handle it in his own home.

“Hey dude, I thought you were going to be at Mercedes’ until like nine or something?” Finn asked.

“Okay one, don’t call me dude.  Two, we changed our plans because I’m exhausted, and three, where the hell is my Dad and why is the entire football team in the living room?” Kurt choked out.  He felt like he was going to vomit.  The people that were making his life a living hell were in his living room and were bullying him in the one place where he was supposed to be safe.  It was infuriating and nauseating all at the same time.

“They came over to watch they game and Burt and my mom went on a date.  Do you think you could like, not be here for a while.  It’s making some of the guys uncomfortable” Finn asked. 

Kurt was dumbfounded.  Had his step brother really just asked him to leave his own house because it would make the Neanderthals that tormented him everyday uncomfortable to have a gay guy around them?  Apparently, because Finn wore a sincere and questioning look on his face that normally would have made Kurt laugh.  This time it just made him want to cry.

“I uh- I guess I could just go upstairs and stay in my- my room for the night?” Kurt asked in disbelief.  

“Great!” Finn said enthusiastically.  “Just don’t mention this to Burt okay? I don’t want him to get pissed at me.  Besides, it’s not like what we’re doing anything you’d like; we’re having boys’ night” he added.  Kurt just nodded and headed up to his room with the same dumbstruck look plastered on his face.  He was also on the verge of tears, which didn’t help.

In his daze however he still didn’t miss the comment thrown his way as he passed the living room.

“Thank god butt boy’s not going to be down here. Wouldn’t want to catch the fag” said a random person.  And then, Kurt swore he heard Finn’s distinct laugh.  He turned around and sure enough, he was laughing along with the rest of his team. 

Kurt heart broke again and the tears poured freely over his face.  If his step brother ‘accepting’ him was all an act then he couldn’t help but wonder who else was just pretending to like him. 

No one knew that Kurt went upstairs and cut himself so many times he almost passed out from the pain.

(3)

Kurt strolled into the choir room feeling happier than usual.  Although he would never admit it, his happiness might have had something to do with a dark haired, hazel eyed, over gelled hobbit he had met a week prior. 

Blaine had given him something that people often over looked; Courage.  He gave him courage to stand up for himself when Karofsky was bullying him,  although that didn’t work out the way he had hoped. But nonetheless Blaine was making him feel less alone in life and that was something new for Kurt.  Up until he joined Glee, he didn’t really have friends, and once he did his only friends were in Glee.  Even then he was still never sure where they all stood. 

For once, it was a nice change for Kurt; to have a real friend who was all his, and who wasn’t just pretending to be his friend.  Blaine was all of that for Kurt, and it didn’t hurt that he was all wrapped up in a fun size but gorgeous package. 

So naturally when he walked in to Glee that day with a big grin on his face for once instead of his usual brooding frown, people automatically knew something was up.  And they couldn’t just let the fact that he was actually happy for once slip.

“What’s up with you Hummel?  Someone finally get a piece of that frigid virgin ass?”  Santana whipped.  Scattered laughs could be heard around the room; Kurt just walked over to his seat and tried to ignore it, praying that Mr. Schue would come in to start practice soon.

“Looks like lady lips is playing hard to get” Puck joked, more laughs and more tears Kurt was trying to not let slip.   But he still had to be strong he couldn’t cry in front of them, they couldn’t know his weaknesses; it would only give them another way to bring him down.  So he jus kept on ignoring it.

“Come on Kurt, who put that smile on your face?” Rachel asked nicely.  He figured telling her couldn’t hurt, so he told her all about him; how they met while he was spying, how he helped him stand up to Karofsky, how even though he was the lead singer of their rival show choir, they were still becoming great friends and how Kurt was sure he was falling madly in love with him.  Telling her was a big mistake.

“Kurt what the hell are you thinking! Don’t you remember what happened with Jesse and I? He’s probably just using you to get to us; he doesn’t like you he just wants you to think he does so you’ll give him our set list!  Don’t we mean anything to you?  How dare you put yourself and your own needs before us! This is serious Kurt, you can’t see him anymore.  We don’t want another Jesse St. James screwing up all our chances at winning!” she screamed.  Kurt wanted to yell at her, insist that Blaine was nothing like Jesse, but they way she was staring down on him made him zip his mouth and promise not to talk to Blaine anymore.

Kurt Hummel never breaks his promises.  That night he texted Blaine that they couldn’t go out anymore because his Glee club was afraid it would rig the competition; Blaine was futile but soon realised that once Kurt set his mind to something there was no changing it. 

It absolutely broke Kurt’s heart because in a matter of one he had gone from actually feeling happy for once and not feeling alone to really being alone and having nothing to make him happy again.  He downed a handful of pills and drifted off into a drug induced sleep hoping that he wouldn’t wake up the next day.

(4)

A few days later Kurt was walking home from school.  His car was in the shop thanks to the jocks who thought it would be funny to slushy his motor, so unfortunately he was stuck walking. To make things even worse, it started pouring about half way home.  He removed his expensive Marc Jacobs jacket and stuffed it in his bag, hoping that the water hadn’t damaged it too much.

He shivered because it was rather cool out for fall.  He was only concentrating on getting home safely.  Then he would be able to go up to his bed and snuggle under all the sheets and cry about how miserable his life was; just an average Friday night. 

He was about half way there when a familiar large red SUV pulled up along the side of the road.  Kurt frowned and tried his best to keep the tears at bay while he kept walking along the side walk; completely ignoring who he knew was in the car.

“Come one Kurt don’t ignore me! Please just get in you’re going to get sick!” Blaine called from inside the car.  Kurt wanted to turn around so badly but he knew he couldn’t.  He knew that the Glee Club wouldn’t accept him being friends with a member of the rival show choir no matter how much he wanted to.  But all he cared about were that his ‘friends’ approved of him; and he would do anything to prove he was loyal to them.  Hence why he was ignoring Blaine.

“Please Kurt! Please don’t do this; you know that I love you!  Please get in the car so you don’t get sick” Blaine begged.  The tears were racing silently down Kurt’s face; he wanted to turn around so much it was literally hurting him.  He loved Blaine too.  Blaine was the one person who Kurt could trust and who loved him back; but he had been forced to end it due to Glee. 

“Kurrrrrrrrrt! Come on honey please don’t do this! I don’t even know why you broke up with me! You just said you couldn’t see me anymore then you hung up, I didn’t even get a reason why! I came to talk to you, so will you please get in the car so you can get out of the freezing rain?” Blaine was full on begging and it sounded as though his eyes were filled with tears to.

Kurt stopped in his tracks.  He willed himself not to turn around.  He knew Blaine was crying and he knew he was too.  He knew that if he turned around then he would take Blaine back in a second.  He would forget all the pain and suffering he’d put himself through for his ‘friends’ and he would just let himself be happy for once.  Then the entire Glee club would hate him and he’d have no friends. 

He couldn’t let that happen.  He couldn’t be alone, not again.  So he kept walking; pushing through the rain that was mixing with the tears which were starting to resemble Niagara Falls while falling down his cheeks.  His shoulders shook with sobs that he was trying desperately to suppress. 

He could hear Blaine cries and pleas from his car as he followed him all the way home.  He just tried to push them to the back of his mind and instead thought of his mom, and how she would have been the perfect person to help him in the situation.  He missed her like crazy everyday and wanted nothing more than to be held in her arms.  Then he realised what he had to do.  He needed to be with her; and there was only one way to get there.

(5)

Kurt decided that he would finish the week of school before executing his plan; sort of a last hurrah so to speak.  His carefully written note was tucked away safely beneath his bed.  There were only a few people who he’d genuinely miss, but he was tired of living in pain and not being able to be happy. 

On Friday, the day he had planned for it to happen, things escaladed to a whole new level.  He was walking down the hall on his way to his last class when Karofsky shoved him into a nearby locker.  His shoulder collided with the locker in a shocking force that left pain rippling through his body.

“What a fag!” Karofsky sneered.  Kurt was done; he was finished with being bullied and tormented for something he couldn’t change and since he wouldn’t be there to feel the repercussions of standing up for himself he decided to take the leap in a moment of blinding faith.  

“Hey!” he screamed.  He followed Karofsky into the change room where he’d been heading when he’d pushed him. 

“The girls change room is next door butt-boy” Karofsky joked.  It only fuelled Kurt’s anger more. 

“What is your problem? What did I do to make you hate me so much?” Kurt cried, although his tears were falling he was more angry then anything else.  And he wouldn’t be backing down; not this time, not after he’d been doing that for the last 17 years of his life.

“You are the problem you little fairy queen.  And unless you want a beating from the fury I suggest you get the hell out of the guys change room and go disappear” the bully spat. 

“No, I’m tired of this Karofsky you are a sick, masochistic animal who can’t make heads or tail about anything.  Who picks on innocent kids to make himself feel better because he’s a terrible human being and you know what-” he was steaming through his rant but was promptly cut of by Karofsky’s lips crashing hard and foreign against his. 

He was momentarily paralyzed with fear, disgust, hatred and shame.  All he wanted to do was curl up in a ball and die, hopefully before sunset, he would.  In what felt like years but must have only been seconds his brain started to work again and he pushed Karofsky away with all the force his barely-there muscles could muster.

“Dammit!” Kurt’s harasser screamed as he slammed his head repeatedly against the bright red and much too cheery looking, lockers of the change room.  Kurt’s hands ghosted over his lips willing the pained feeling that was left behind to go away. 

Karofsky pushed Kurt up against the lockers, leaving him no escape.  He gulped while waiting for his impending doom.

“If you tell anybody that you just attacked me like that I will find you and I will kill you” he snarled.  “Or maybe you could do us all a favour and kill yourself for me” he laughed before walking out of the change room leaving Kurt to his thoughts. 

Kurt wanted to shout at him, tell him that his wish would be granted soon enough, but he was much toO proud to do that.  If there was one thing he wanted to die with, it was dignity.

He picked himself up off the floor where he had evidently fallen and collected his bag off the bench.  He walked over to the mirror trying to recollect himself before going back out into the school.  He put his phone on the side of the sink and washed his face, trying wipe away any and all of the remnants left behind from one of the many people who’d hurt him.

His phone buzzed and looked down finding that is was a text message; from Blaine.  Kurt tried really hard not to contact Blaine but he never had been able to resist reading the text messages that were sent from his one and only boyfriend; the love of his life.  It read;

To Kurt:

From Blaine:

You should let me love you, I know that you don’t want to because of your friends Kurt but what kind of friends are they if they don’t want you to be happy? I’ll make you happy. Please, just call me.  I love you.

He smiled at the text before locking his phone and putting it in his pocket and heading home for the last time.