Kurt found himself in Prospect Park walking by the water. It was fall and the leaves had turned fiery shades of red, yellow and orange. Kurt leant against the railings and looked at his rippled reflection in the surface of the leaf strewn water. A pair of warm arms wrapped around his waist accompanied by a stubbly chin resting on his shoulder. Kurt smiled happily and placed his hands over those on his waist.

“You know this should really be the other way around, you’re too short to pull this off effectively.” He heard a chuckle from behind him and turned around to face Blaine, flinging his arms around his neck.

“I’m sure you’ll cope, we aren’t exactly the type to follow convention after all.” Blaine nuzzled into Kurt’s neck gently. A tinkling laugh escaped Kurt and he kissed Blaine’s temple tenderly.

“No, life would be far too boring.” He took Blaine’s hand and tugged him into a slow ample. He revelled in the simplicity of being with Blaine, the ease and comfort. He hardly noticed the sky beginning to darken as he and Blaine found a bench to sit on. He looked directly into Blaine’s hazel eyes only to find they were now a bright startling green, Blaine’s beautiful dark curls had been replaced with light brown waves. Kurt yanked his hand from Brett’s.

“Where’s Blaine?”

“He left, just like he always does.” Brett’s eyes were cold and hard.

“He wouldn’t leave me again. Where is he?” Kurt was starting to panic. He didn’t want Brett, he wanted Blaine.

“Wake up Kurt, he doesn’t love you, you’re dead to him now. You’re mine.” Brett’s face remained emotionless while Kurt wiped tears frantically from his cheeks. He stood abruptly and began to look for Blaine. His heart was pounding painfully in his chest. Suddenly Brett grabbed Kurt by the shoulders and spun him around to face him, his face finally showing expression. Brett’s face was contorted in rage, his hair flying wildly in the wind that had picked up considerably.

“Why do you always run back to him?” Brett shook Kurt roughly, Kurt tried to free himself but his arms were pinned tightly to his sides. He shook his head, terrified of the fire in Brett’s eyes.

“Why don’t you love me like you love him?” Brett manoeuvred Kurt to the water’s edge, keeping a firm hold on him as he shoved him to his knees. Kurt could barely see through the tears welling up in his eyes, he blinked in an effort to clear them, but found that only made way for more. Brett’s grip on his arms tightened becoming painful.

“Look! Look where your precious Blaine is now...” Kurt looked into the dark water and let out a strangled cry. He could see Blaine beneath the surface, his beautiful eyes staring up at Kurt. Empty. Lifeless. Kurt clutched at his heart, which felt as though someone had taken a blunt scalpel to it.

“No. Not Blaine. NO!” Kurt screamed in agony and turned to look into Brett’s livid face.

“Why, why do you cry for him, why do you hurt for him even now?”

“Because I love him.” Kurt bent double expecting to feel hard ground beneath him, but found cosy leather. A warm hand was stroking his back softly. The wind dyed down and Kurt could hear nothing but his own cracked sobs as he was pulled groggily out of his dream. Kurt blinked his sleep encrusted eyes open, his throat felt raw in the way it would if he had been screaming. He looked round and felt slightly disappointed to see Brett was the one rubbing comforting circles into his back.

“Hey you.” Kurt pushed himself up and grabbed a cushion wearily, clutching it to his chest.

“Bad dream?” Kurt looked over at Brett, glad to see the warmth in his eyes; he tried to shake the image of angry dream Brett from his mind. The tears were still clinging to his eyelashes.

“Hmm.” Brett placed a hand on Kurt’s knee but removed it quickly when he felt Kurt flinch.

“Want to talk about it? It sounded pretty intense.”

“Can’t really remember it.”I just remember it scared me.” Kurt knew Brett would see through the lie, but he really didn’t know how to explain why he was so affected by a mere dream. Brett raised his eyebrows but said nothing. Kurt watched him stand and go to the kitchen. He hugged the cushion closer and thought about the dream. He couldn’t recall the last time he could actually remember his dreams, but somehow he knew this one would stay with him for a while. Prospect Park, he hadn’t been there for years, but it made sense for it to appear in his dream. He and Blaine used to love walking through the park together. They would take trips to Brooklyn especially to visit the pretty park. But he and Blaine hadn’t been that way with each – other since Blaine had left. That probably explained Blaine’s sudden disappearance in the dream. Kurt couldn’t wrap his head around angry Brett though. He didn’t think he had done anything his subconscious would want to make him feel guilty for. Brett walked back from the kitchen placing a steaming mug of tea in front of Kurt and resumed his seat next to him on the sofa.

“I didn’t think coffee was a great idea right now.” He watched Kurt wrinkle his nose adorably as he took a sip of the tea and set it down instantly.

“I hate tea.”

“I hate coming here to find you thrashing around crying and screaming in your sleep.” Kurt looked at his boyfriend apologetically.

“Sorry, I must have scared you half to death.”

“It’s fine, once I realised you were dreaming I got it. It scared me more when I couldn’t wake you, you looked terrified Kurt.” Kurt just nodded and they sat in calm silence for a while. Brett looked at his fingers feeling a little nervous.

“You dreamed about Blaine didn’t you.” Kurt snapped round to look at Brett. Crap.

“I – I don’t really remember.”

“You were screaming his name Kurt.” Kurt tried to swallow but found his throat too dry.

“I was probable dreaming about him leaving, that was a pretty sucky time for me.” Brett snorted lightly and sat forwards, resting his elbows on his knees.

“Don’t bullshit me Kurt. I know it was a big deal your first boyfriend leaving you, the only reason I don’t know just how big a deal it was is because you won’t tell me everything. I’m trying really hard to understand, but it’s just got worse since he came back and now you’re having nightmares and screaming his name. What the hell am I supposed to do if you won’t talk to me?” Brett hadn’t looked directly at Kurt once, and Kurt could do nothing but stare at Brett. Where the hell had that come from? Kurt felt himself get a little angry. An anger which was only intensified by the emotion left from his dream.

“I told you everything I knew Brett, Blaine wasn’t just my first boyfriend, you know that because I told you about our relationship. I loved him so much; I nearly died when he wasn’t here anymore. I’m sorry if our history complicates things, but I have been honest with you from the start about this. And contrary to popular belief I cannot control what I dream about.” Kurt’s chest was heaving and his fingers were gripping the cushion too tightly.

“Yeah right Kurt, you never told me just how intense you two are, even now. You still love him Kurt, even if you don’t know it. I can see it even when you aren’t with him.” Brett threw his arms in the air, his eyes wide.

“If I love him and it’s so freaking obvious then why are you still here?” Kurt could feel the sting of tears behind his eyes, he was so sick of crying.

“If it’s so clear then why would you invite Blaine to join us, or was that a big test to see if I jumped him while you were there?” Kurt’s arms flailed wildly as tears streamed down his face. He didn’t want to argue with Brett, but this needed sorting and sorting now.

“Don’t be ridiculous Kurt, I was being polite, he seems an alright and I figured that since you’re trying to have a friendship with him it might help if I was at least civil to him.”

“Well that answers one question. You managed to skilfully avoid the most important one, why are you still here if it’s so obvious that I love Blaine?” Kurt knew he was pushing it, but this argument had been coming for months. In fact this was the first real argument in two years they had had. It was one of the things that really infuriated Kurt about Brett, he would not argue with Kurt.

“Because I still love you Kurt, and having even half of you is better than none of you. If there is even the slightest chance you’ll choose me over Blaine I’m gonna take it.” Kurt sat in silence for a second; Brett hadn’t told him he loved him before.

“I can’t tell you I love you Brett. I care about you very much, but I don’t know if I will be able to truly love someone again, not to the same extent. It hurts too much.” Kurt’s voice was quiet; he hugged the cushion tightly as though it would disappear if he loosened his grip. Brett put his head in his hands and sighed deeply.

“This is ridiculous, what are we doing here? I shouldn’t be holding you back like this.”

“No Kurt, don’t end this, not yet. We just need time to figure it all out. You need to decide what you want.”

“You can’t hang around waiting for me to make a decision, especially when Blaine might not even want me. It’s not fair on you Brett, you deserve to be happy.” Kurt reached across the gap between them and clasped Brett’s hand carefully.

“Okay, how about we have a break, give each - other a few weeks to sort things out, figure out where we stand and see how it goes.” Their eyes connected and Kurt nodded sadly.

“I should get going.” Brett gave Kurt’s hand a squeeze and stood up.

“Brett?” A single tear leaked out of Kurt’s eyes. “I – I’m sorry.” Brett couldn’t bring himself to comfort Kurt, so he bent placing a gentle kiss to Kurt’s soft cheek and turned away. He left his key to the apartment on the coffee table. Kurt squeezed his eyes shut and listened as the door fell shut behind Brett. He slid back down the sofa and curled himself tightly into a ball. He just wanted to sleep and wake up in the morning to find his life back to normal. Instead he resolved to get the truth out of Blaine tomorrow and try to sort out this complicated mess he called his life.