He honestly felt like he was dying. This was the worst trip he'd ever had; he wasn't even sure if he could move. He moved an arm experimentally feeling a cold, hard, gritty surface. He must have crashed on the floor, judging by the ache in his entire body he'd been there a while. He pushed himself up, feeling extremely dizzy, and leaned against the wall until his feeling of nausea went away sufficiently to make it safe for him to open his eyes. When he did he found himself faced with his reflection. Bloodshot stormy blue eyes, pale drawn skin, smudged eye-liner, previously perfectly coiffed purple and blue streaked chestnut hair was now hanging limply over his forehead. A black ring ran around the outline of his lips, remnants from the lipstick that had resided there the day before. His dark clothes were crumpled and one of his earrings had come out at some point.

Kurt sighed and scanned the room (his basement dance studio) for signs of what had gone on last night. Since he seemed to be the only remnants of a party he thought there must be some damage somewhere, he dragged his protesting body to its feet and stumbled over to the staircase. When he reached the top an agonizingly long amount of time later he pushed open the heavy door and found himself in his immaculate kitchen. He furrowed his brow in confusion; surely if he'd had a party the place would be trashed... again? He staggered his way around his two story house, which was still just as clean and tidy as it was the previous day, he reached the bedroom and collapsed in a heap on the bed. His head was swimming; he was on a major downer.

Somewhere in the distance his phone rang... or maybe it was right next to him. He fumbled on the bedside table and hit the button to put it on loudspeaker.

"'Lo?" Kurt didn't bother to remove his head from its place smushed in the pillows.

"Kurt? Are you there?" Finn's voice came through far too loud for Kurt's liking.

"Jeez Finn, stop shouting." Kurt turned his head and wrinkled his nose at his fuzzy vision. Contacts. Where were his contacts?

"Dude, it's like 2:30 you were supposed to be at Brittany's an hour ago."

"Um... yeah right. The shower. Um I'm on my way." He pushed himself back up into a sitting position reluctantly.

"Kurt. Have you had one of your 'parties' again? I'm outside I know you're not downstairs." Kurt cursed under his breath, looking out the window to find Finn peering in the bottom floor.

"No, I mean, no I don't think so. I don't really know." He began his descent downstairs, clutching the oak hand rail as he went. When he reached the door he found the key was still in, flipped it open and let Finn in.

"Dude, you're a mess. Come on I've gotta get you to Brittany's before she notices. She thinks you're off riding a unicorn or something." Finn shook his head while he gazed around the house, clearly trying to find out what Kurt had been doing.

"Just give me five minutes, I'll be ready." Kurt turned to head back upstairs, wondering why the hell he hadn't just bought an apartment.

"Kurt." Finn's voice was soft and sad. Kurt looked at him pointedly.

"You've gotta sort yourself out man. I mean this is Brittany's baby shower. It's like you don't even care. I know you're busy with the play and stuff, but this.... whatever you're taking is gonna kill you." Finn shoved his hands deep into his jean pockets and looked up at Kurt through his lashes.

"I've got it under control Finn. Don't worry; it just...takes the edge off." Kurt started to ascend the stairs and thought he heard Finn mutter something like 'Of course it does'.

**

Ten minutes later Kurt had cleaned himself up, wiped the bulk of the make-up from his face and was seated in the passenger seat of Finn's pick up. He had taken a couple pills he found in the bathroom and was feeling much brighter. He had remembered the present he found in a cute vintage store last week and was holding a decent conversation with his brother. It wasn't until Finn changed the subject that he got riled.

"Seriously though Bro, you should give it some thought. I got the number of this Councillor, Allen.... um, no Allison...something with an A anyway. He's supposed to be the best. Mom and Dad are really worried about you - No, I haven't told them everything, but they aren't stupid Kurt. They know." Kurt shut his mouth, having been about to shout Finn down for disclosing what he knew about Kurt's lifestyle to their parents.

"Finn, I don't need a Councillor, I need an easier life. But I can't give up the play and if I even mention to my agent I'm struggling I won't get the record contract we're this close to landing." He directed his gaze at the curled ribbon atop the perfectly wrapped present in his lap, twisting it round his fingers.

"I know you don't like it, but just think about it. Okay? Rachel already doesn't want to know you, Brittany, Santana and 'Cedes are the only ones who've stuck around. And don't try to tell me that you have friends from the play. I tried talking to a couple of them the last time Quinn and I came to see you, they didn't want to know when I told them I was your brother." Finn side-eyed his brother as he came to a stop outside Santana and Brittany's house. Kurt just nodded, knowing his argument wouldn't mean anything anyway.

They stepped out of the car and headed inside. Kurt was instantly enveloped in a warm hug from a heavily pregnant Brittany.

"Kurtsie, I've missed you! Were you with another unicorn?" She released him, her hands automatically falling to rest on her stomach.

"Um, no Britt, I was just late." He attempted a smile, but Brittany's face fell regardless.

"Oh. That's a shame. I was hoping you'd finally found someone else as magic as you." Kurt smiled as Finn slapped him on the back. He held out the present for her to take.

"Here, I found this last week and it just screamed you and 'Tana." Brittany grinned broadly accepting the red wrapped present and tugging Kurt by the arm over to where her wife was sitting.

" 'Tana, We have another present, open it with me? It's from Kurtsie." Santana gave Kurt a quick hug, inspecting him with her sharp eyes before turning her attention to the present. She pulled at the carefully tied ribbon and handed it to Brittany to strip it of its paper. As the paper fell away a silver teddy bear three piece photo frame and a beautifully embroidered blanket was revealed. Brittany held the blanket to her stomach, under her floaty top.

"Hey Maysie, Uncle Kurt bought a beautiful blankie for you, isn't that nice..." Brittany continued to speak sweetly to her bump while Santana pulled Kurt to one side.

"Thank you, they're beautiful. And Britt loves them." She paused a few seconds, still inspecting Kurt's face carefully.

"Are you okay? Kurt, I know a few years ago I would have just come out and said it, but you look like shit. How much have you been taking recently?" She didn't relinquish her grip on his arm, even as he tried to wriggle away from yet another 'intervention chat' as he took to calling them now.

"Not much 'Tana, don't worry, I'm fine. More than fine actually. Just... today's about you and Britt, let's just enjoy that can we?" He threw her a meaningful look, but she just threw him a sceptical one back. However, her wife chose that moment to engage her in her baby talk and she was forced to let it go.

Kurt drifted away towards the food table, feeling distinctly hungry now he realised he hadn't eaten since at least yesterday morning, though he could remember very little even then. Most of the guests were from Mckinley, and kept their distance, knowing Kurt's reputation now. Well, he thought scathingly, they didn't give a shit in high school, why would they start now? He just threw them contemptuous looks and let his brain entangle itself in his own thoughts.