The kiss finally ended when they were forced to come up for air, breathing hard. Kurt let his forehead lean against Blaine's, his eyes closed, trying to control himself.  Blaine's arms immediately tightened around him, keeping him close. Kurt rubbed the pad of his thumb down the column of Blaine's neck soothingly. He could feel Blaine's whole body quaking in his arms.

“Ssh, it's okay,” Kurt whispered, when he felt the dampness of his tears against his cheek.

When he finally opened his eyes, he found Blaine staring at him with wide eyes that took his breath away. It was as if Blaine couldn't glance away from him, afraid Kurt would vanish if he did. Kurt could see all the need that Blaine had repressed for so many years pouring from his eyes, so bright and red-rimmed.

“God, you're so beautiful,” Kurt gasped with a watery smile, stroking his cheek. “You're not a boy anymore, are you? You've changed so much, but you're still so beautiful…”

“Kurt,” Blaine choked out, as if his name was all he could say now.

Kurt pressed their lips together again in a quick peck, and then again when he couldn't stop himself, and a third time when the shivers that it sent down his spine were too wonderful to pull away. Then Blaine took over, desperate for more than the soft press of their lips, kissing Kurt open-mouthed and urgently, causing Kurt to moan quietly and cling to him tighter. Kurt rose higher on his knees and shifted until they were glued together, chest to chest and holding each other with every ounce of strength they had left.

They hadn't experienced this kind of passion again with anyone – it was the kind of passion born from true love, from familiarity, from carefully built trust. It came from knowing each other so well that no one else could tear them apart and put them back together like this. It came from the kind of desire that wasn't only physical, the attraction that went deeper than what meets the eye.

It was the kind of passion that Kurt hadn't been able to feel after Blaine; the kind of passion Blaine had desperately looked for in the men he had slept with, but had never managed to find.

These were flames they could only build together.

Blaine's eyes were filled with hunger, like a man who had wandered in the desert without food or water for way too long. He ran his thumb over Kurt's lower lip, already so swollen and cherry red from kissing. “Please,” he murmured.

Kurt knew what Blaine was begging for, and he couldn't stop to think about the consequences for even a second. He simply crawled onto the bed and pulled Blaine along with him.

Blaine settled on top of him, looking down at him wide-eyed and amazed, as if he had never seen anything as amazing as Kurt before. Kurt sighed in contentment when his familiar weight grounded him to the mattress and his whole body thrummed with pleasure as if welcoming Blaine back. Their kisses were now slower and deeper, exploratory. Their tongues met and sent sparks of lust all over them, and Kurt buried his fingers in Blaine's hair and played with the thick curls as he parted his lips wider to give Blaine access. Blaine changed the angle, kissing him more fervently, running his tongue over his teeth, the roof of his mouth and every little corner he had missed tasting for so long.

Eventually, he shifted down, letting Kurt breathe, as he kissed down his jaw and to that spot on his neck that he had discovered could turn Kurt into a squirming mess during one of their very first make out sessions. Kurt threw his head back and let him devoured his skin, feeling his cock twitching in his pants every time Blaine sucked and bit a little less gently.

Blaine pulled away and hovered over him, watching him with eyes full of desire. He licked his lips. “Can I? Please, Kurt, let me…”

Kurt was too far gone to care, nodding eagerly, grateful to feel Blaine's mouth back on his neck, close to the base. Blaine's hands worked open the buttons of Kurt's shirt, tugging impatiently until his deliciously pale chest was displayed. He let out a growl before attaching his mouth to his collarbone and sucking a little harder, making Kurt whimper.

Blaine didn't stay long on one spot – it was as if he couldn't wait to taste every inch of Kurt again. He moved down, kissing down the center of his chest and licking over his nipples, eliciting a loud groan out of him, and then mouthed over Kurt's stomach; meanwhile, his hands reached down to take care of Kurt's shoes, dropping them off the edge of the bed, before travelling back up to the zipper of his pants. He glanced up at Kurt in silent question, as his tongue swirled around his belly button, and Kurt unconsciously thrust up, desperate for some relief, rubbing his hard-on on Blaine's cheek.

Blaine's eyes darkened even more as lust took over him completely. He made quick work of Kurt's pants and underwear, and in only a matter of seconds, Kurt was spread out on the bed, gloriously naked. Blaine sat on his knees to look down at him, awed, unable to believe Kurt was actually there, in his bed, exactly as he had imagined him so many times.

Kurt suppressed the urge to stroke his cock, hard and flushed against his belly, waiting breathlessly, then Blaine grasped his leg by the ankle, kissing the bone reverently, his gaze fixed hungrily on Kurt.

“Your body is gorgeous,” Blaine said in a hoarse voice. He looked Kurt in the eyes. “You are gorgeous. You always were and you always will be.”

Blaine's hand reached hesitantly for Kurt's cock, as if he wasn't sure if he was actually allowed to touch him. Kurt gasped – Blaine's hands felt rougher than he remembered, but so perfect. It had always been perfect with him, no matter what. He leaned down, holding himself up on his elbows, and paused with his lips just an inch away from the slit of Kurt's cock, that was now oozing pre-come.

“Is this okay? I really need to taste you…” Blaine muttered eagerly, and the view was enough to make Kurt's brain short-circuit.

Kurt whined. “Please, please, please…”

Blaine swallowed him down immediately, moaning around him and closing his eyes. Kurt bucked up, overwhelmed by the sudden wet heat around him and Blaine took him deeper, making happy little noises that made Kurt tremble. Blaine was so damn desperate for it, as if having been forced to live without Kurt's cock in his mouth for ten years had been torture.

“Oh god, Blaine, yes…” Kurt buried his fingers in Blaine's hair and Blaine groaned in appreciation, as he pulled away enough to lap at his slit. His dark, thick eyelashes were resting against his cheeks and he was the most beautiful man Kurt had ever seen.

Kurt knew he wouldn't last very long – he had always been incredibly helpless with Blaine, and the pleasure was electrifying. His body had missed Blaine so much that had been near the edge since their lips had touched again.

However, Blaine pulled away and mouthed down his shaft. Kurt thought he was catching his breath, but then Blaine was licking over his balls as he spread his legs farther apart and shifted him. He placed his thumbs on the cheeks of Kurt's ass and pulled them apart, moaning at the sight that greet him there.

Kurt held his breath. He was flooded with images of the first time they had done this – it had been a Sunday afternoon, Blaine's house was empty and they had been rutting against each other naked and lazily for a while. Blaine had been the one to suggest it, awkwardly and blushing furiously, and though Kurt had blushed just as hard, he hadn't been able to say no, as the mere idea turned his insides to fire.

He had never been able to say no to Blaine.

Blaine kissed down his perineum before lapping farther down south, until Kurt could feel the hot swipes of his tongue in the very center of his body, completely melting him and burning him at the same time. He gasped helplessly, hands in fists at his side, grabbing at the sheets and looking for something to keep him grounded because he was afraid the rush of pleasure would make him float away…

Kurt moaned and his back arched off the bed. “Oh, oh, Blaine, I'm so close…”

To Kurts dismay, Blaine didnt redouble his efforts. Instead, he crawled up Kurt's body until they were pressed together, face to face. Blaine's clothes felt rough on his sensitive skin.

“Would you fuck me?” Blaine asked breathlessly. “Kurt, I… please, I need to feel you inside of me, I want you to…”

Kurt's memory flashed with images of Blaine spread out on his bed, with his legs bent and pressed against his chest, as his body opened to allow Kurt in, and he thought he would faint. “Yes. Yes, of course…”

They shifted until Blaine was on his back on the bed with Kurt hovering on top of him. Blaine was still fully clothed and Kurt tsked.

“This won't do,” he murmured as he ran a finger down Blaine's t-shirt.

He peeled the clothes off Blaine's body ceremoniously, wanting to savor each second and each inch of skin he discovered under the fabric. His hands trembled as he stroked Blaine's sides and chest, and he couldn't stop himself from nuzzling the scratchy hair that trailed from his chest down to his navel. He was delicious – he had always been exquisite. Kurt mouthed at his nipples, his hipbones and his collarbone.

Suddenly, Blaine pressed a bottle of lube and a condom into Kurt's hand, staring at him eagerly. He parted his legs and waited.

Kurt caressed the inside of Blaine's thighs, remembering how sensitive they had always been. They were so much more muscled than they had been when they were younger, but Blaine still shivered at the contact.

With the push of the first finger, Blaine threw his head back and gasped, arching his hips to get Kurt deeper. Kurt watched him utterly mesmerized at how responsive he still was, how he still seemed to marvel at the simplest touch as if he had never been touched before. Every experience with Blaine had always felt new and exciting, and this time wasn't different. He watched Blaine's body relax to welcome him, respond and undulate to show how much he liked what Kurt was doing, and he felt the same kind of immeasurable happiness he had felt as a boy when he put that blissed expression on his boyfriend's face.

Kurt had barely added a second finger when Blaine's hand found his wrist to stop him. Kurt startled, alarmed. “Are you okay? Did I…?”

“It's fine. I just… I want you now. I can't wait,” Blaine murmured, as his chest rose and fell, panting fast.

“You're not stretched enough yet, sweetheart,” Kurt said, cupping Blaine's face in his free hand and tilting his head down for a kiss. “I don't want to hurt you.”

“Please. You won't hurt me. I need to feel you,” Blaine pleaded with those big, wide eyes Kurt couldn't resist. “I'm ready, I swear.”

Kurt licked his lips, thinking quickly, because though he was desperate to bury himself in Blaine's tight heat, he really didn't want to hurt him. He would have to trust that Blaine knew what he was doing. They weren't inexperienced boys anymore. They knew their bodies' limits a lot better now.

“Okay,” he croaked in a hoarse voice. He scrambled for the condom that he had dropped on the mattress somewhere.

Kurt forced himself to be slow and delicate, but Blaine still clasped his shoulders tightly and groaned when he started pushing inside. “Kurt.”

Kurt pressed their foreheads together and let out his breath shakily. “Do you want me to stop?”

“No, no. God, keep going. Keep going, Kurt,” Blaine replied, lifting his legs to wrap them around Kurt's hips and pulling him closer, effectively making Kurt bury himself completely into him. “Yes, yes, god.”

“You silly boy,” Kurt whispered as he placed tiny little kisses all over Blaine's face. “You're going to be so sore in the morning…”

“I don't care. I want to be able to feel you,” Blaine said. He buried his fingers on Kurt's hair and pressed their mouths together roughly. “So fuck me as hard as you can and make me feel it.”

Kurt whimpered against his lips and his hips snapped forward before he could even think about it. Soon the room was filled with Blaine's moans and the sound of skin slapping against skin. Part of Kurt wanted to take his time, make things slower and sweeter, but there was a hunger in him that couldn't be controlled. His body had been deprived of Blaine for too long to hold back. He buried his face in Blaine's neck and breathed him in – all that sweat mixed with aftershave and lotion drove him crazy. He wanted to lick every inch of Blaine, but that would require him to pull out, and he couldn't stop driving himself deeper and deeper into Blaine.

“You feel so good,” he muttered in a broken voice.

Blaine's eyes filled with tears. “You too. I… oh, god… Kurt.”

Kurt wiped some of his tears away with the tips of his fingers, and kissed some others away. He slowed his pace, even though Blaine clenched greedily around him. “What is it?”

Blaine smiled at him, but there wasn't anything happy about it. Seeing him like that broke Kurt's heart all over again. “Nothing. Please, keep going. I'm so close…”

Kurt balanced himself up on one of his arms so he could reach down and stroke Blaine. He had always loved watching Blaine come undone – the way his body started shivering and his beautiful pink lips parted in silent gasps; how his back arched in ecstasy and his eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks – and this sight was just as stunning as when they had been just school boys getting each other off furtively before their parents came home. It wasn't long before the pearly strings of come were shooting up and painting Blaine's chest and belly, as his ass tightened deliciously around Kurt, throwing him into his very own pool of hot pleasure. He wrapped his arms around Blaine as he came, grinding hard into him, and letting out high-pitched moans into the crook of his tanned shoulder.

When it was over, he didn't want to move – he couldn't move. He stayed buried deep inside of Blaine, who didn't seem to mind at all. They kissed lazily in the afterglow, running their hands over each other, not caring about the sticky mess between them or their sweaty skin. Blaine tasted like rainy days and dark chocolate, and Kurt couldn't get enough of him.

Finally, he rolled to his side and pulled out, ignoring Blaine's protests. He disposed of the condom, but couldn't make it out of bed to clean up, because Blaine was tugging him back into his arms again, and who was he to deny this wonderful man his post-orgasm cuddles?

He pressed Blaine against his chest and enveloped him in his arms, and for a blissful moment, Kurt had managed to forget about everything else.

*

Kurt woke in the middle of the night, alone. At first he thought he was in his hotel room, but as soon as he noticed he was naked under the sheets and the familiar scent of Blaine's skin on the pillow pressed against his face, he remembered what had happened. He smiled lazily and stretched his arms, still floating weightlessly between sleep and consciousness as he waited for Blaine to come back to bed.

His toes were cold and the right side of the bed where Blaine had been sleeping wasn't warm either. He blinked dazedly, wondering where Blaine was and why whatever he was doing was more important than keeping him warm, when he heard it.

It was the sound of a muffled sob.

Kurt sat up and looked around. The apartment was dark but he could tell from the starlight filtering through the window that Blaine wasn't in the kitchen area. But a sliver of light peeked from under the closed bathroom door. Kurt pushed the blankets away and quickly searched for something to wear. He managed to find his underwear and Blaine's t-shirt and put them on before he padded slowly towards the bathroom. He leaned closer to the door and waited, not sure if he had imagined the sound in his half-asleep state.

And then he heard it again.

The sound made his heart clench in his chest, and he opened the door quietly, peering into the room with a concerned frown. At first, he thought there was no one there, but then he noticed Blaine was sitting on the floor, half-hidden between the shower and the sink, holding his knees to his chest and with his head buried in his arms on top of them. He was crying, trying to be quiet, but unable to contain his pain, his choked sobs were escaping anyway.

“Blaine?” He whispered softly, not wanting to startle him, his heart breaking.

Blaine looked up immediately. His eyes were red and swollen and he looked exhausted. His cheeks were wet with the tears that kept trailing down them and his hair was a mess, as if he had run his hands through it a million times in despair.

“Sweetheart, what's wrong?” Kurt asked, kneeling in front of him, not sure if Blaine wanted to be held or not, but dying to put his arms around him.

“N-nothing,” Blaine muttered, looking away as if trying to hide the fact that he was crying. “You can g-go back to b-bed.”

Kurt watched him, his heart breaking over and over again. He had never liked seeing Blaine upset. He shuffled closer and pulled on Blaine's hand to tug him closer. “I'm not going anywhere.”

Instead of comforting him, his words made Blaine crumple into his arms, with a wracked sob, dissolving into fresh tears. Kurt swallowed hard, and sat back against the shower wall, with Blaine hiding his face in his shoulder, holding him like a child. He stroked his hair softly and made soothing noises in his ear, completely at a loss. He had no idea what to do.

After a few minutes, even though he was still crying almost violently, Blaine managed to speak. It wasn't the explanation Kurt had been expecting, but an endless string of the same words, again and again: “I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…”

Kurt tried shushing him, because Blaine seemed to get more and more upset with every apology, but it was as if Blaine wasn't listening, utterly immersed in his need to say how sorry he was. Kurt didn't understand at first, what Blaine was apologizing for, but then it hit him like lightning: Blaine was apologizing for what he had done ten years ago. He was apologizing for cheating on him, because that was the one big mistake that loomed over him constantly; the one mistake that had changed it all, and the one mistake he couldn't forgive himself for.

Kurt felt the tears in his own eyes now – everything in Blaine's life had been dictated by what he had done when he was eighteen years old. He hadn't been able to move on, and he had destroyed every possibility, every hope, every way out because he didn't believe he deserved any better, not after what he had done. Kurt felt as if everything made sense now: what Cooper had told him, what he had seen himself, all the changes in Blaine's personality. Blaine had been haunted by his own actions for a decade.

They had been only kids. Yes, Kurt had been heartbroken and he had hated Blaine for damaging what they had, but they had been only kids back then. Kids made mistakes. Fuck, adults made mistakes, too. How had everything gone so wrong?

He kissed the top of Blaine's head and stroked down his back soothingly. “It's okay, beautiful. It's okay. You don't have to apologize anymore. I forgive you.”

Kurt felt a weight was lifted from his shoulders with those words – even though he had said them earlier that day, he hadn't really meant them until now. Of course he forgave Blaine. Just seeing how much Blaine regretted what he had done was enough to know he could let go of whatever vestiges of resentment he had left. It hadn't meant anything to Blaine – that boy he had cheated with hadn't meant anything to Blaine – and maybe if Kurt had allowed him to explain a decade ago, they could have avoided all this heartache.

He closed his eyes and held Blaine tighter. “I'm sorry, too. I'm sorry, Blaine. It's okay. You're okay. I forgive you. I'm sorry.”

Blaine sobbed against his shoulder and tightened his hands on Kurt's (his) t-shirt. “I'm sorry,” he said one last time, and with that, he seemed to be completely spent. He breathed shakily. “I'm so tired…”

“It's okay,” Kurt repeated, because there wasn't anything else he could say. “Let me get you back to bed, sweetheart.”

He guided Blaine out of the bathroom, letting him lean heavily against his side until they reached the bed. He made sure Blaine was comfortable and tucked in before sliding under the blankets on the left side. Blaine immediately shifted towards him, holding onto him as if his life depended on it. Kurt stroked his hair and kept his lips pressed against his forehead until Blaine's breath evened and he was asleep, as peacefully as he could be.

Kurt, however, lay awake for a long time. First, his mind buzzed with thoughts of Blaine's pain and regret, and of ten years wasted just because he hadn't wanted to listen to what Blaine had to say back then.

But then, something else kept him awake, as sheer horror travelled down his spine in a cold chill.

He had just cheated on his fiancé.

*