Blaine opened the refrigerator door and peered inside. “Milk. Eggs. Uhm, carrots.”

“Okay…” Kurt looked down at the grocery list he was writing and added those items. “What about chicken? Is there any left in the freezer?”

Blaine checked the freezer as Kurt admired the way his ass looked in those green boxers when he leaned down. “Nope. No more chicken.”

“We should get some. I was thinking about making that chicken salad you like so much…” Kurt commented distractedly as he checked once again that they weren't forgetting anything.

Blaine padded back towards him, bare feet against the cold kitchen floor. He wrapped an arm around Kurt's waist without giving it a second thought and pressed his chest against his side as he glanced at the list Kurt had made. Their skin was warm and a little salty after spending a few hours at the beach that morning and Blaine couldn't help licking his shoulder a little, chasing the taste of the ocean on his body.

Kurt tried swatting him away. “We don't have time for whatever you're thinking. You have that coaching session in about an hour and we still need to go grocery shopping…”

“I could call in sick…” Blaine murmured as his tongue slid from the curve of Kurt's shoulder to his collarbone.

“Right. Because your brother won't suspect a thing. Then we'll have to deal with him teasing us because you missed work just to stay home and have sex…” Kurt rolled his arms, but his breath still caught when Blaine started sucking right where his collarbone met his neck – the bastard knew that was a very sensitive place for him. “Blaine…”

“I hate having to go to work while you're here…” Blaine muttered softly, his focus almost completely on kissing Kurt. “I can work once you go back to New York. I want to enjoy having you here while I can…”

Blaine's words sent a pang of sadness through Kurt's heart, but it was quickly overrun by a shiver of pleasure, when Blaine moved his focus to the spot behind Kurt's ear. He thought of saying they could alternate spending one weekend a month visiting each other, but that wasn't nearly enough for either of them anymore. He wanted to say that he was scared, that he was insecure, that he had no idea how they would make this work for much longer, when it was obvious they were having trouble with the whole long-distance thing. It had been perfect while Blaine found his place back in his own life, but now…

Now it was nowhere near enough.

While Kurt's brain short-circuited between misery and absolute bliss, Blaine dropped to his knees. “W-what are you doing?”

“Shh,” Blaine smiled up at him, and then brushed his lips over one of Kurt's sharp hipbones. “Just let me have this, alright?”

Kurt blinked, bewildered. “Do you honestly believe I would reject a blowjob from you? Don't you have any idea how good your mouth feels when… oooh.”

Blaine was mouthing over his hardening cock over his briefs, while looking up at him through his luscious eyelashes. “You were saying?”

“Nothing. Nothing. Get on with it,” Kurt moaned, as he reached down to hook his thumbs on the elastic band of his underwear, eagerly tugging it down.

Blaine hummed and licked his lips in anticipation. “Mm. Yes, dear.”

Oh, he was so not making it to work on time…

*

There were many things Kurt Hummel didn't have a lot of time for when he was in New York and completely lost in his work. Back in the city, it felt as if he always had to rush to cross one more thing off his To Do list – a list that never seemed to reach an end, no matter how much he did. But here, in this beautiful house at the beach, where he could see the ocean through every window, everything felt different. Life moved at a different pace – one that allowed him to enjoy every waking second.

That's why he found himself sitting on the beautiful red couch in the living room, reading a book he had bought two years ago and had never had a chance to read before. There was a glass of lemonade on the coffee table and at least another hour to kill before Blaine came home. Thinking of Blaine – thinking of Blaine coming home – made him smile unconsciously. He had never thought it would be possible to be as in love as he had been ten years ago, when he was still a wide-eyed boy. He thought love was still beautiful, but quieter during adulthood. But here he was, almost thirty years old and so in love with the same boy he had been in love with a decade ago that he could barely breathe when he thought of him.

His phone rang where it was resting on the coffee table next to his drink, and he grabbed it without even looking at the ID, just assuming it was Blaine calling before going into the grocery store, checking in just in case Kurt had thought of something else they needed.

“You didn't forget the grocery list, did you?” He said in a way of greeting, smiling as he placed a bookmarker in his book and closed it, placing it gently on his lap.

“Well, well, well, aren't you two all domestic already…”

Isabelle Wright's voice was the last thing he had expected to hear when he was on the other side of the country – after all, he had left explicit instructions at the office to not contact him unless there was an emergency.

“Isabelle? Oh my gosh, what happened? Is it the Fall collection? It is, isn't it? Oh, please don't tell me tapestry prints are coming back, because I may have to put bleach in my eyes before seeing that again…”

Isabelle's laughter filled the line and Kurt clutched his chest in anticipation. “Oh, Kurt. You need to relax, honey. Nothing happened – at least nothing as horrific as that.” Kurt allowed himself to breathe out and Isabelle laughed again. “This is just a social call. How are you doing? Am I interrupting something?”

Kurt ignored the teasing tone of her voice. “Not at all. Blaine's at work, actually. And I'm doing great, thank you very much. Just enjoying my time here while I can.”

“How are you two doing? Any improvements? I feel we don't get to talk too much anymore – unless it's about work, of course…” Isabelle sighed. “We need to go out for dinner when you come back.”

“Oh definitely,” he promised. He leaned back on the couch, thoughtfully. “We're okay. The improvements are major and very evident, if you were familiar with how things were a few months ago. He seems happy, I'm most certainly happy, and we're just… trying to figure out how to go on, I guess.”

“Is he planning to move to New York with you?” She asked softly.

Kurt bit his lip. God, thinking about the future was scary right now. “No. I don't know. We haven't talked about that yet, but… if I have to be honest, I don't think New York would be good for him. He had a nice time when he visited, but… I think he needs more peace and kindness than New York can offer.”

“Yeah, I admit this city isn't for everyone… even I want to get away from it every once in a while,” Isabelle admitted with a sigh. “So you two are going to keep living in opposite sides of the country?”

“I don't know. I don't know much about what's going to happen, but I want to do whatever's best for him and for us. And I think he really needs to stay here in Los Angeles, at least for a while longer. He has his family here, and his nieces are the light of his life. Nothing's more effective to get him out of a funk than spending time with them. I can't ask him to give that up and go to New York with me…” Kurt rubbed his temples. He knew talking about it would be good for him, but ignoring all of this had actually made everything easier. But he and Blaine had learned the hard way that not talking about things could destroy everything faster than an atomic bomb.

“Have you thought of moving to Los Angeles?” Isabelle asked, making Kurt's eyebrows shoot into his hairline.

“What, are you thinking about firing me?” He said, jokingly. “I'm not sure. I really, really want to be with him, and I love it here, but quitting and starting over in a different city, at thirty, after I climbed so high on the ladder there? It makes me feel like I worked really hard for nothing, and I don't want to throw away all these years like they didn't mean anything to me.”

“Well… what if you didn't have to?” Isabelle said in a quiet, tentative voice.

Kurt didn't say anything for a few seconds, wondering if he had heard correctly. Isabelle couldn't possibly be insinuating… “What do you mean?”

“Look, Kurt. We've known each other for a very long time, we're friends and I love you. You're one of the most talented people I've ever met and I think you deserve amazing things. That said, I know we would be losing a lot letting you go from these offices, but if I've learnt anything it's that, even though fashion is amazing and work is fulfilling, you can't let it rule your life.” She paused for a moment, and though Kurt knew she had more to say, he couldn't stop himself from interrupting.

“Wait a second… are you firing me?” He exclaimed, his voice going high-pitched and a little desperate.

“Au contraire, honey,” Isabelle said, and he could tell she was smiling, even though he had no idea why. “The fashion editor at the LA office is retiring. The position will be open in about a month, and it's yours for the taking, if you want it…”

All the air in his lungs decided to evacuate immediately without even giving him a warning. He gaped like a fish out of the water, while trying to come out with something to say, to the point where Isabelle had to check he was still there.

“Are you serious? You aren't just pulling my leg, are you? Because if you are, it's just cruel…” Kurt muttered, stunned.

Isabelle laughed. “Honey, I'm very serious. I hate to think you'll be on the other side of the country and I love getting to work with you… but I want you to take this opportunity if you think it's the right thing for you and Blaine.”

Kurt didn't know what to say. All the anguish he had felt and tried to hide since arriving in Los Angeles, knowing he would have to leave again eventually, seemed to vanish and disappear magically. This was a chance he needed – a dreamed opportunity to have everything he had ever wanted.

And yet… he still had doubts. Because what if he accepted the position and Blaine wasn't ready to have him there? What if they weren't ready to take that step and be together full time again? Kurt was more than ready to wrap himself around Blaine and never let go, but he wasn't sure if it was what Blaine needed. And gosh, he was done making mistakes. He was done with taking a step forward only to take ten back – which was why they really needed to sit down and talk.

“Isabelle, I… it would be a dream come true,” he whispered, still shocked, but knowing he had to be smart. “And I would say yes in a heartbeat, but… can I talk to Blaine about it first?”

“Honey, that's exactly what married couples do,” Isabelle replied, half teasingly, half gently. “You have a couple of weeks before you really have to make a decision. Let me know what you decide, okay? No pressure.”

Kurt thanked her profusely, and then they chatted for a few more minutes, but Kurt's mind was elsewhere. The future had seemed such a faraway concept, but now it was finally catching up with them, and they would need to make decisions that maybe they wouldn't like – Kurt knew that, professionally, this was the perfect opportunity for him and he really wanted the position; but he would need to let it go if it wasn't the best for his relationship with Blaine – and though he was more than happy with his work in New York, now that he had this option… gosh, he craved it.

But what he craved even more was a happy, healthy marriage, and a bright smile on Blaine's face every day, for the rest of their lives.

*

After his conversation with Isabelle, Kurt paced around the living room, and not even the soft soothing waves hitting the shore could calm him, as he let his blue eyes shift to the beach over and over again. Finally, realizing he was too stressed and he needed a moment to calm down before Blaine got back from work, he went into the master bathroom and filled the huge bathtub with warm water. There were a few jasmine candles on a shelf over the sink, so he lit them carefully and breathed in their delightful scent, letting it fill his senses.

He had never thought he would get a chance like this, but he wasnt sure he could deal with the consequences just now. Kurt knew he had to find the perfect way to tell Blaine about it, and he couldnt do it as calmly as he needed to if he didnt stop worrying and freaking out first.

He removed his clothes once the tub was filled, and then sank into the water, instantly breathing in relief. He leaned his head back against the edge of the tub and closed his eyes. Kurts mind immediately took him to the same places it always took him when he was alone and trying to relax - Blaine. It was always Blaine, smiling at him, his whole face lighting up, and his fingers slowly tracing the contours of Kurts face, as if he had never found anything as precious before. Thinking about Blaines love for him comforted him – it was the kind of love that had survived years of heartbreak and separation. Kurt had to trust that it would survive anything life threw at them.

He must have been too focused on his own thoughts, because he didnt hear the front door opening or Blaines voice calling for him, carrying throughout the house. He only noticed the other man had come back when he saw him leaning against the doorframe, smiling softly at him.

"Hey you," Blaine said, and he looked so at home in his own skin, so much more confident, that Kurt couldnt stop the rush of pride that washed over him.

"Hi," Kurt replied, letting a lazy smile slip onto his lips. "How was work?"

"It was good," Blaine said, still not moving from the doorway. "Coop says we can take the girls out again, but I told him well probably have to leave it for the next time you visit. Is that okay?"

"Of course it is," Kurt nodded immediately, not wanting to think about his imminent departure. "You know I loved spending time with them." Blaine just smiled, hazel eyes fixed on Kurt, and Kurt bit his lip before extending a wet hand towards him. "Come here and give me a kiss?"

"What a hardship," Blaine teased, rolling his eyes, but obeyed, moving closer until his fingers were closing around Kurts. He sat on the edge of the tub and ran his free hand through Kurts damp hair. "I still have to put the groceries away."

"That can wait," Kurt said, moving to sit straighter. He placed his hand on the back of Blaines neck and brought him down for a quick but passionate kiss. "I missed you."

"Missed you, too," Blaine answered, and Kurt couldnt deny those words sent a shiver down his spine. He usually felt silly missing Blaine when they had seen each other just a few hours ago, but knowing Blaine missed him too, even when he was away at work for a little while, comforted him somehow. He wasnt the kind of man who would be clingy or needy with his partner, and his urge to have Blaine around as much as possible was new and disconcerting.

He kissed him again, just a little deeper, and Blaine hummed happily into the kiss.

"What were you up to while I was gone?" Blaine asked as he moved his lips to Kurts cheekbone, then his jaw.

Kurt groaned. "Not much. I read a little, and then... oh, okay," his eyes rolled to the back of his head for a second. He cleared his throat and tried to focus, but he had no idea how to deal with Blaines kisses and bring up Isabelles call, so he stayed silent for a moment.

Blaine pulled away abruptly, leaving Kurt tingling everywhere. "Im gonna go put the groceries away. I bought ice-cream and itll melt all over the kitchen counter."

"No," Kurt whined, closing his fingers on Blaines shirts to keep him in place. "Fuck the ice-cream, come here."

"Fuck the ice-cream? Who are you and what have you done with Kurt Hummel?" Blaine said playfully, but didnt move another inch.

Instead of replying, Kurt closed the distance between them once more, kissing Blaine open-mouthed and a little desperate. He poured all his doubts and stress into kissing him, and soon had Blaine moaning against his lips.

"Kurt..."

"Closer," Kurt managed to say, pulling at Blaines shirt. "Shoes off, come on."

Blaine toed his shoes off, but thats all he managed to do before Kurt was pulling him fully clothed into the tub with him, splashing water everywhere and falling against his naked body with a gasp of surprise.

"Kurt! What are you doing?" He asked, half shocked, half amused.

"Need you," Kurt murmured, and there was a lump forming in his throat. God, he didnt want to go. He never wanted to go back to New York, especially not now that he was out of excuses to be back. "Want you."

"Shit," Blaine whispered, wide amber eyes blown up with lust and flaming desire. His hand immediately travelled down Kurts naked body, finding his cock hard and resting against his stomach under the water.

"Yes..." Kurt moaned softly, clutching at Blaines shoulders over his wet shirt. "Harder. Tighter. I want to feel it..."

Blaine stroked him just as Kurt asked him to, never looking away from Kurts ecstatic face. "Youre absolutely stunning like this. So desperate, so hungry..."

Kurts hands fumbled with Blaines pants, removing the ruined belt clumsily until he could pull the zipper down and pop the button open. His fingers dipped into his underwear and closed around his equally hard cock, jerking him in time with Blaines own movements.

Blaine started babbling, consumed by the pleasure already cursing through him and all around them. Kurt wouldnt have been surprised if the lights of the bathroom started flickering - they were electric together, voltage going up with every stroke, every caress, every kiss.

As their moans grew louder and echoed against the tile walls, they became more eager and impatient, chasing the release that seemed to be there for them to reach. They could feel it in every inch of their bodies, sending shivers down their spines, pooling heat in their bellies, making even their toes and fingertips ache in their need to hold onto the pleasure that was so pure, so unique, so theirs. It didn't take them long to come, panting into each other's mouths, and Blaine collapsed on top of him, boneless, causing even more water to spill over the edge of the tub.

Blaine laughed breathlessly as he pressed his forehead against Kurt's. “I think this is the most spontaneous, craziest sex we've ever had? I'd say messiest, but I still remember that time with the chocolate sauce…”

Kurt chuckled, feeling totally spent. “Mm. That time was deliciously messy.”

Blaine nuzzled their noses together, but then he laughed again. “I can't believe you pulled me into the tub fully clothed. Kurt Hummel, fashion dictator, ruining good clothes for a quickie?”

Kurt rolled his eyes halfheartedly. He was way busier rubbing his hand up and down Blaine's back under his wet shirt, and counting the specks of gold in his stunning eyes. “Maybe I love you more than I love clothes.”

Blaine's smile was so bright that it almost made Kurt's heart stop beating in his chest, overwhelmed by the sight. “Maybe I love you too.”

Maybe they could actually have it all, Kurt thought, but decided against saying anything now, and simply enjoyed being crazy in love with this equally crazy man.

*

Blaine loved the beach. He could lie outside in the sun all day, like a lizard soaking up the heat. Kurt wasn't as sun-friendly, but joined him almost every afternoon, not only because the weather was delightful, but because he loved every second he spent with Blaine, even if it meant getting a few unattractive freckles here and there.

Okay, so maybe Blaine actually liked the freckles and spent a particularly long time kissing each and every new one every night. Maybe Kurt was kind of, possibly, sort of beginning to like the freckles too, for some reason.

During those afternoons, they didn't talk much. They enjoyed the sound of the ocean and each other's company, eventually humming a melody or drawing their names inside a heart in the sand, like they would have done all those years ago.

Kurt waited – he didn't know exactly what he was waiting for, but he knew he was doing just that. He rehearsed in his head how to tell Blaine about Isabelle's call a million times, but whenever he was about to open his mouth to start the conversation, he chickened out.

What if he was scared of Blaine's reaction? What if he was scared that their future seemed so uncertain? He had the right to be scared when his entire life seemed to be resting on such a fine, delicate line, ready to tip over and shatter to pieces before he could catch it in his hands and protect it.

So Kurt rehearsed and rehearsed, but it never seemed to be the appropriate time for an opening night. Whenever he felt the courage was growing inside of him and that he was ready, he looked at Blaine and decided to kiss him instead.

After all, he didn't know how many more of his kisses there would be in his future.

*

The night before Kurt had to fly back to New York, he walked out of the master bedroom, where he had been packing, and saw Blaine sitting alone on one of the steps of the deck, with his back to Kurt, arms around his knees and facing a small bonfire he had started to keep the cold of the sea breeze away. Kurt watched him from the living room for a few long seconds, biting his lip, before making up his mind.

He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses. He made his way outside, careful not to startle Blaine, who seemed completely lost in thought. He stood next to him, and Blaine looked up, a small smile stretching his lips, but not reaching his eyes.

Kurt gestured towards the step he was sitting on. "Mind if I join you? I come bearing gifts," he said, showing him the bottle.

Blaine shifted a little to make more room for him, without saying a word. Kurt didnt like the silence that had fallen upon them - it felt like it was charged with the kind of negative energy that things were changed with before everything went wrong. What could Blaine be thinking about?

Deciding to allow Blaine a moment – and knowing he needed a moment to get his shit together as well – Kurt poured the wine and wordlessly handed one of the glasses to Blaine. They were sitting very close together, sides touching, and he could feel the warmth of Blaines body against his, and the warmth from the fire in front of them.

They drank their wine quietly for a few minutes. Kurts eyes were fixed on the gentle sway of the ocean and the calm it inspired - he was definitely going to miss that when he was surrounded by New Yorks hectic pace again.

"Those ones look like a fish," Blaine said then, startling Kurt completely, who turned to him in confusion, sure he had missed something because what Blaine had just said made absolutely no sense. Blaine chuckled at him, obviously amused by the expression on Kurts face. "The stars, silly. Those up there," he muttered, pointing up and making a vague shape with his finger, "look like a fish."

"Oh," Kurt nodded. "I see it now."

"And those one there... that could be a tent," Blaine continued, tracing another shape with his finger in the air. "Or maybe Im just glorifying a simple triangle."

"I dont think stars need any glorifying," Kurt said, laughing softly and nudging Blaines shoulder with his. "It can be a tent if you want it to be a tent."

"I always wanted to go camping," Blaine murmured wistfully.

"Ill let my Dad know that. Hes been bugging me about going camping since I was eleven. Does he really think thats something I would enjoy?" Kurt asked with a quirked eyebrow, making Blaine laugh again. "What else do you see?"

"Well..." Blaine scanned the sky, thoughtfully. "If you join those with those over there... it looks like some kind of bug."

"I see it. What about those there? They could be like a tree," Kurt said, tilting his head to the side. But when he looked back at Blaine for confirmation, Blaine was watching him instead. Kurt blinked, as a slow smile started forming on his lips. "What? Is there something on my face? Or is it that they look nothing like a tree and youre mocking me?"

"I love you," Blaine said instead, taking him completely by surprise, but effectively melting Kurts heart nonetheless.

He cupped Blaines cheek with his free hand and ran his thumb over the slight stubble growing on his jaw. "I love you, too. So much."

Blaine swallowed and his eyes shifted away from his for a moment, and Kurt could tell something was wrong. His chest began aching – what if Blaine was looking for a way to say after these two weeks he couldnt do this anymore? What if he had realized this was not what he wanted? What if what Kurt had thought was Blaine being happy was actually Blaine realizing he needed something different in his life?

"Whats going on?" Kurt asked, and his voice trembled. God, he would do anything for Blaine, even if that meant walking away so he could be okay, but it didnt mean that wouldnt shatter him into a million pieces.

"I..." Blaine took a deep breath and then finally looked up again, his hazel eyes meeting Kurts blue terrified ones. "Im ready."

Kurt stared at him completely bewildered and wide-eyed. "R-ready for what?" Gosh, please dont say you're ready to move on with your life without me. Please, Blaine, please...

"Im ready to be your husband," Blaine replied, and his voice shook even more than Kurts, who now realized Blaines reticence to looking at him had to do more with actual nerves. His amber eyes were watery and it was clear he was on the verge of crying.

Kurt felt as if all the oxygen had been sucked out of the world. He couldnt breathe, but he felt like he was floating. "Blaine..." He only managed to say.

"I know its taken me a while, but I feel like I can finally be with you – officially, and not just this weird, unlabeled thing weve had the past few months. I cant picture my life without you, Kurt. I never could. But now I can love you without hating myself for it, without feeling like that love defines me, without feeling like I dont deserve to be loved back. I feel like a person again, and not just this thing thats full of regret and pain. I think Im myself again, and I know Im different from that boy you fell in love with, but... but if youll have me..."

"Ill always have you," Kurt interrupted, unable to stop himself, as a few tears began making their way down his pale cheeks. "Blaine, I will always love you, and every version of you. I loved that boy who took my hand in a staircase, I love the man who fills me with the kind of passion that makes me do all kinds of crazy things, like having Skype sex in my office and travelling across the country to spend at least a few hours with him, and I love every single boy and man you have been in between them. I never stopped loving you, and I never will."

"Kurt..." Blaine whispered, sounding a little choked. He laughed softly and wiped his tears away quickly, before turning around and grabbing something from one of the chairs on the deck. "I... I think you should have this again."

Kurt took the brown envelope, confused for a moment, until he extracted the papers it contained and found their divorce papers, still signed and ready to be handed in to his lawyer.

"I want to marry you again, for real, with the people we love there to see us promise forever to each other, with the wedding youve always dreamed of and deserve..." Blaine said, smiling brightly.

But Kurt shook his head. "No."

Blaines smile faded just as quickly as it appeared. He looked pained at Kurts word. "No? I... I thought..."

"I dont want to divorce you," Kurt said, grabbing Blaines hand in his and squeezing it. "I dont ever want to deny you or reject you again. Ill never divorce you, even if its just so we can have a new ceremony."

Relief washed over Blaines face, and he visibly relaxed. "But I thought you would like to have a wedding..."

"Oh, we can definitely have some kind of ceremony or party," Kurt said, kissing Blaines knuckles, like he couldnt stop himself from touching Blaine in any way he could. "But Blaine... Im your husband, and I dont want to spend even one second not being your husband." Blaine smiled brighter than any of the starts shining in the sky above them. "Is that okay with you?"

"Its perfect," Blaine murmured, clearly moved. "Its perfect, Kurt."

They moved forward at the same time, sealing their mouths in the most perfect kiss they had ever shared, holding each other with tenderness but so much passion and eagerness to take this step together. When they pulled away, Blaine grabbed the divorce papers again, and looked at Kurt questioningly. Kurt shrugged, not really sure what Blaine had in mind, but smiling when Blaine threw them into the fire.

Together, they watched the papers burn.

*