Burt Hummel had never considered himself the brightest of men, but he was proud of one thing: he could read his son like an open book. So as soon as Kurt got out of his car the next morning, face pale, eyes red and swollen and looking as if someone had shot his cat, he knew something was wrong. And when he noticed Blaine's absence, he thought he knew exactly what it was.

He decided to wait until Kurt was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee clutched in between his hands to say anything. He was glad Carole wasn't home. That would give them enough time to have a good father/son conversation.

When he finally opened his mouth to say something, Kurt beat him to it.

"I know what you're dying to ask, so I'll just say it," his son muttered, his voice emotionless. "Blaine broke up with me."

His fatherly instinct told Burt to find Blaine and kill him for making his little boy look so miserable. The reasonable man in him, however, seemed suspicious. Why would Blaine break up with Kurt? He had seen them together. Blaine loved Kurt more than anything else in his life. Something wasn't right.

"What happened?" He asked, calmly.

Kurt shook his head. He looked exhausted and Burt wouldn't have been surprised if he told him he hadn't slept all night. He decided to scold him later about driving all the way to Lima in that state.

"He lied. I know he lied…" Kurt whispered, completely lost in his own thoughts. "I could see it in his eyes. He didn't want to leave me. It hurt him to leave…"

"Kurt, you're not making any sense," Burt extended his hand over the table and put it on top of his son's, which were shaking around his coffee cup. "Start from the beginning, Kurt. Come on."

So Kurt slowly started telling his father everything that had happened at the party the night before and afterwards at Ellie's. He didn't leave any details out and Burt gritted his teeth when Kurt repeated Walter Anderson's words. He had done nothing during Blaine's birthday party because Carole and Kurt had asked him not to make things worse, but he promised himself one thing right then and there, as he saw his son's eyes filling with tears on the morning of Christmas Eve: the next time he had Blaine's father in front of him, he was going to give him a piece of his mind. And, if no one stopped him, probably a piece of his fist, too.

That bastard.

"Listen, kiddo," Burt sighed after Kurt went quiet. Deep in his blue eyes, Burt could see the mix of feelings Kurt was experiencing, not only pain and confusion but anger and desperation, too. "I think you're right. I think Blaine lied because he didn't know what else to do. He's crazy about you and he probably didn't know what to do after last night. He panicked, thinking this was the best way to go and he made a mistake."

"So…" Kurt sniffed and looked up at him, frowning. "Do you think he really does love me?"

"Kurt," Burt leaned closer over the table, serious. "There's a picture of his face when he looks at you next to the word love in the dictionary."

Kurt chuckled lightly as he rolled his eyes and wiped his tears away. "What should I do, then? Should I call him?"

Burt stood up and took his empty cup to the sink. "I don't know. Maybe you should give him some space, Kurt. It seems to me that Blaine needs to analyze his life and decide what's more important to him. He won't ever be able to completely be with you if he doesn't resolve his issues with his family first."

Kurt sighed, frustrated. "I wish I could keep him away from them. They do nothing but humiliate him and bring him down all the time…"

"But he's not a child. He's an adult man who needs to make decisions on his own," Burt replied, coming behind Kurt to put his hands on his son's shoulders in support. "The only thing you can do right now is wait."

"I hate waiting," Kurt whined, as he used to do when he was just a little boy and it suddenly hit Burt how much he had grown up. It seemed as if he had just blinked and his little son was now a man. How did that happen?

"We all do, kiddo," he laughed, squeezing his shoulders. "But the best things that happen to us always make it worth the wait."

"I just hope he's alright," Kurt rubbed his temples with his thumbs, trying to force himself to relax. "I know how he gets every time something happens with his dad and now that I'm not there…"

"He'll come find you if he needs you," Burt assured him. "He knows where you are. So just let him decide when he's ready to be with you…"

"I miss him, I can't sleep without him. Last night my bed was so…" Kurt mumbled and immediately stopped when he realized what he was saying out loud. "Oh, God. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that…"

"I'll pretend I didn't hear a thing," Burt smiled at him. "Now, why don't we go get Finn and go out for lunch? I haven't had a nice day with my boys in a while."

The enthusiasm on Burt's face was so evident that Kurt couldn't say no to him, even when all he felt like doing was going up to his room to listen to sad love songs as he cuddled Brownie to his chest. "Sounds fantastic, Dad."

He grabbed his coat and his scarf and wrapped himself in them, adjusting them tightly around his body, but knowing that, no matter how many layers he put on, he would never feel as warm as he felt in Blaine's arms.

Kurt reluctantly went downstairs on Christmas morning when he heard voices coming from the living room. He thought he heard Finn arriving for breakfast and to open the presents together, so he forced himself out of bed, knowing his brother would start whining and complaining if he was denied food and gifts for too long. However, he didn't feel like showering, or styling his hair, or dressing up as he usually did before meeting the rest of his family in the kitchen, so he just slid on a pair of sweatpants and Blaine's hoodie, which he had packed before they broke up and he had cried a bit when he discovered it in his bag the night before when looking for is pajamas.

Finn seemed taken aback by his appearance when he stepped into the kitchen, but a quick, subtle gesture from his mother stopped him from commenting on it. Burt clapped him on the shoulder as he dropped down on a chair.

"Merry Christmas, kiddo," he said affectionately.

Kurt's voice lacked his usual cheerful tone. "Merry Christmas."

He didn't pay much attention to what was being said during breakfast. He silently picked at the pancakes Carole had put in front of him as he let his mind wander. He couldn't stop thinking about Blaine. Where was he right now? What was he doing for Christmas? Was he staying alone with Robert at his apartment or was he going to spend it at his parents' house, like he hated to do? Was he miserable or was he at least okay? Was he thinking about him? Did he miss him as much as Kurt missed him?

"Stop playing with your food, Kurt," Burt said softly, snapping him out of his trance.

"Sorry. I'm not hungry," Kurt replied, not lifting his head, his eyes still fixed on the plate without really seeing anything.

"If you don't like it, I can make something else," Carole offered, glancing uncertainly at Burt. Neither of them knew exactly what to do. Burt had thought that after the conversation they'd had the day before, Kurt would at least be a little better, but there was no point in hoping things would go back to normal. Not without Blaine.

"No, really. I'm not hungry," Kurt managed a tiny smile that he hoped would put his parents at ease. It didn't work.

"Well, why don't we move to the living room and open up some presents?" She proposed, enthusiastically. Finn nodded as he swallowed another bit of pancake.

There was a huge Christmas tree next to the fireplace. It smelled so good that Kurt couldn't help but inhale deeply. Some ornaments were new, some belonged to Carole's collection, but most of them had been bought by Elizabeth many years ago. Kurt still remembered cold days decorating the tree with his mother, and how she always let him put the star on the top. He had to be lifted by Burt so he could reach, and every year she would kiss his head and whisper in his ear, "one day you'll be tall enough to put it up there yourself." Elizabeth had never seen that day.

There was a little mountain of presents under the tree, all wrapped in shiny papers and with big bows on them. Finn grabbed Brownie in his arms when he noticed she was trying to attack one of the boxes and sat her down on the couch next to Kurt.

They exchanged presents and Kurt really, really tried to look excited when he opened his to find the boots he had been pining over for weeks but hadn't allowed himself to buy because they were insanely expensive.

"Sweetheart," Carole whispered, seeing how affected he was, not missing the way he just stared at the present in his lap as if he was trying to remember what boots were for. "Everything will be alright. You have to trust Blaine. He'll come back to you when he's ready."

Kurt nodded as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

He tried to keep himself busy for the rest of the day. He went out for a walk with Carole, they all watched a movie together, he cooked Finn's favorite dessert… but when he stopped for a second and allowed himself to breathe, he realized Blaine was still there, always on his mind. So he went into the bathroom, locked the door behind him and took his cellphone out of his pocket. He couldn't wait anymore. He was done waiting.

The phone rang and rang as he clutched it tightly, begging for Blaine to pick up, but he never did. It went to voice mail after a minute and Kurt sighed sadly.

"This is Blaine Anderson. I can't get to the phone right now, but leave your message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you."

It sounded so serious, but it was his voice and Kurt felt a shiver down his spine. It hadn't even been a day and he already missed it like crazy.

"Blaine… it's Kurt. I just… I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas. I… I hope you're having a nice day." He paused, not sure what to say, willing the tears to stay away. "Everyone misses you here. Dad and Carole are really sad that you didn't come with me… I miss you. So much, Blaine. I… I know why you did what you did, I know why you said those things, but I don't care. I miss you. I love you. Please, don't do this…"

He ended the call before he said something he would regret. He put the phone back in his pocket and waited for it to buzz to let him know he had an incoming call. He waited all day.

The call never came.

Saying Blaine had a horrible Christmas was an understatement. If it wasn't because he knew something even worse was waiting for him at the office the next day, he would've felt relieved when it was over.

He had only gone out for a few minutes to walk Robert (and only after the dog begged and whined and almost peed all over the carpet) and the cheer of the holiday he had found in the streets, where the kids were running around the park showing off their shiny new bikes and pretty dolls, where the couples walked hand in hand, wrapped around each other to keep warm, had made him feel so miserable that he walked right back to his apartment and dove face down on the couch as soon as he was inside. He hadn't moved in hours, letting the apartment go dark as the time passed, as the night took over, as Christmas day came to an end.

When his phone started buzzing with Kurt's call, he almost gave up and answered it. His hands were shaking, desperate to grab the phone and talk to him, to hear his voice, anything. He couldn't believe how vital Kurt had become to him since he'd had him in his life… and now he had to learn how to live without him all over again. Blaine's heart refused to go back to being lonely, but he knew it was for the best. Kurt didn't need any of this crap. He had a nice life, a wonderful family, his charming bakery… he was gorgeous and he would find someone else who loved him soon enough. Blaine needed to be strong.

Kurt had left a voicemail and Blaine felt tempted to listen to it, but he decided against it. He deleted it before he did anything stupid.

He wished he had been smarter at the beginning. He had known that getting closer to Kurt was a bad idea, that he would end up hurting, that he wasn't made to be in a relationship… and now Kurt was also paying for it and Blaine could barely stand to think about it. He had screwed up so bad and he had no idea how to fix it. He wasn't one to fix things, he had never been, or else he would've done something to fix his mess of a life when it wasn't where it was now, so beyond repair.

After another sleepless night, Blaine arrived at the office, forcing himself to not even glance in the bakery's direction. Even going to work was harder now, not only because he knew he would have to deal with more crap from his father, but because of Kurt's proximity. He was so close and so far at the same time and Blaine's skin tingled, desperate to feel him again.

A stack of files to be read was waiting for him on his desk and the morning seemed to fly by. He had trouble concentrating fully on his job, but at least he had something else to fill his thoughts.

Lucy came over a few times and seemed genuinely concerned when she noticed how bad he looked: he hadn't even bothered shaving, he had forgone his gel hair and he had thrown his suit on without care. For someone who always looked sharp and elegant, it was a shock to see him. And it was also obvious something was wrong.

"Anything I can help you with, Mr. Anderson?" She asked politely, but the slight frown of concern on her face told him she wasn't asking about anything work-related.

"No, thank you…" Blaine said, his voice tired.

"I can cancel some of your meetings for today if you don't… uhm, if you don't feel very well," Lucy offered, hesitant.

Blaine felt tempted to tell her to do just that, but he didn't want to give his father another reason to raise hell around him. "It's okay, Lucy, I'm fine."

She nodded, still not looking convinced at all, before leaving him alone again. Blaine sighed and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. He was exhausted after not sleeping at all since the night of the party. He eyed the couch he had there in his office, thinking maybe he could take a nap there, where there were no memories of Kurt, where his pale, stunning body had never laid. Maybe he was safe there.

He had just stood up from his desk chair to move over to the couch when the door opened once again, this time without the preceding soft knock that he was used to hearing every time Lucy came over. It was slammed shut right away and Blaine inhaled deeply, bracing himself for what was to come.

"Nice to see at least you came to work today," Walter said, haughtily. "Not that it really matters, because the quality of your work can only be compared to the quality of the company you choose."

Blaine turned around to face the window, closed his eyes and counted to ten internally. "How can I help you, Dad?"

"What happened the other night at the party can't ever happen again, Blaine," Walter answered sharply. "The entire office pool is talking about it. I had to hear whispers about how my son went to a business party with a homo all morning."

"I'm sure you've already added it to the list of things you're going to use to make me see what a disappointment I am," Blaine replied, emotionless. When he opened his eyes, he immediately glanced at the bakery. Kurt seemed to choose that particular moment to walk close enough to the window that Blaine could see a glimpse of him as he cleaned one of the tables that were by the door.

The pain went through his body like a bolt of lightning.

His words didn't help to appease his father's anger. "I don't know how many times you need to hear me say that I won't let you put this family in disgrace! I don't care what it takes, Blaine, but I will make you obey the rules! Start behaving like an Anderson and don't you dare bring that f-…"

"I broke up with him!" He screamed, because he couldn't take it anymore, because every word stung too much, because he just wanted to curl up on the floor and cry, because he wanted to run back to Kurt's arms and beg for forgiveness. Because he was sick of everything, of his life more than anything, and he just wanted some silence. He wanted at least one minute of silence, where he didn't have to listen to Walter's hate or to the memory of Kurt calling after him, asking him to stop, asking him not to leave. "I'm not with Kurt anymore! There, are you happy?"

He hated the smirk that appeared on Walter's face like he had never hated anything else in his life. "Well, that's a start. I wouldn't say I'm completely happy, but it's good to see you're at least trying to…straighten up, so to speak."

Blaine let his forehead rest against the cold glass of the window, feeling like he had no more strength left. "You'll never let me be happy, will you? It's always going to be like this…"

"You have nothing to complain about, Blaine," Walter shrugged, as if he couldn't understand why his son was so stubborn. "If you're unhappy, that's because you want to be. Your mother and I have given you everything."

Blaine didn't even answer. What was the point in telling his father that what he and his mother had forgotten to give him was the only thing he had always wanted? What was the point in telling him that Kurt had been the one who had given him the love he had always wanted and that he had let it go because of them, because he was a coward, because he was an idiot?

"Now that you don't have anything to distract you, I'd like you to finish the documents on the Mason case that I asked you for last week," Walter smiled, that same smile that Blaine had been seeing on his face for the last twelve years, the one that didn't reach his eyes, the one that lacked warmth and love. "Give them to my secretary this afternoon."

Walter left without another word and Blaine stared out the window, trying to catch another glimpse of Kurt, but he had moved out of sight. He finally sighed and went back to his desk, deciding to finish the documents he needed to get done for his father.

He didn't leave his office until he had no other choice but to go home. It was already dark outside and it was snowing. He stepped out of the building and instinctively looked across the street towards the bakery. The lights were still on and his eyes found Kurt's when the slightly taller man walked to the door to flip the sign to close. Both of them gasped and stared at each other for what seemed a very long couple of seconds. Then Kurt was rushing to unlock the door and coming out to the street, without a coat, without a scarf, not caring about anything but Blaine and Blaine's heart broke once again.

He didn't give him time to do much more than that. As soon as he saw Kurt come out of the bakery, Blaine took a step to the side, swallowing, willing the tears not to fall and finally turning around and practically running to his car. He forced himself not to look back. He would've seen Kurt's completely devastated expression if he had.

As the days passed, Blaine spiraled down more and more into a depression and desperation. He couldn't sleep, he couldn't eat, he could barely breathe without Kurt. He had never thought love could be that way. He had no idea love could take over your entire life and reduce it to nothing. He looked around and he felt as if colors had been drained out of his world. Everything was a sad shade of grey. He couldn't find a reason to keep moving every morning and he discovered all the songs he heard on the radio made no sense, the melodies were all discordant and the lyrics had no rhyme. Blaine had thought his life before Kurt had been bad.

He clearly hadn't ever thought how bad it could be after Kurt.

It was getting harder to go to work every day or to even leave his apartment. It was getting harder to pass by the bakery when he was going to the office and not stop and talk to Kurt. It was getting harder to not know how he was, what he was doing, if he had been up baking too late at night. It was getting harder to not look for him when he needed a hug after a particularly unpleasant comment from his father.

The weekends were just as bad. Yes, he avoided Ellie's, but the emptiness around him didn't help. He was alone. He had no one. The silence seemed to fall over him, crushing him. Sometimes he wasn't sure how much longer he would be able to stand all of this.

At midnight on New Year's Eve, he closed his eyes and imagined he was kissing Kurt again. It was as if his lips had memorized every single time they had touched Kurt's and the kisses replayed in his head like a movie. When he opened his eyes, he was smiling, but the smile died as soon as he noticed the darkness around him, the distant sound of parties and people celebrating seemed foreign to him and he found himself wondering if Kurt had kissed anyone, if he had started the year by someone else's side. It made his heart clench in pain, but he knew he was stupid. Even if Kurt didn't have anyone already, it didn't mean he wouldn't soon. And Blaine couldn't blame him.

The exhaustion caught up with him a couple of weeks later. He wasn't sure what exactly it was that made him snap. He just knew he couldn't take any more of the loneliness and the misery. It was a cold Saturday morning and he jumped into his car and started driving without direction. He just drove, as if he could get away from everything, as if he wasn't carrying all his troubles with him on his shoulders. He drove and drove and then he suddenly blinked and he was parked in front of Hummel's Tires and Lube, without knowing how the hell he had gotten there.

He gripped the steering wheel with more force than necessary, not knowing what to do. Why had he gone there? Maybe because that weekend he had spent with the Hummels had made him feel more at home than he had felt in his entire life? But he had no right to be there now, not after what had happened with Kurt. Burt probably hated Blaine by now and Finn was surely eager to follow through with what he had promised Blaine that day in the kitchen and kick his ass for breaking his brother's heart…

He needed to leave. He needed to go back to Columbus and get away from there because he wasn't welcome anymore and he…

There was a knock on his window and, a second later, he was looking into Burt Hummel's eyes.

"Hey, buddy, are you going to stay there all day or did you actually drive all the way here for a reason?"

Blaine swallowed nervously, hating himself for being so stupid. He opened the door and got out of the car, fidgeting with the keys, not really knowing what to do. "H-hi, Mr. Hummel."

Burt put a hand on Blaine's shoulder, making him flinch a bit. The older man frowned but didn't say anything about it and he gently guided him inside. "How have you been? We haven't heard from you in a while."

"I know," he said, uncomfortably. "I've… been busy."

Burt took him to his office and closed the door behind them, signaling Blaine to take a seat at the desk. "That doesn't really answer my question, buddy."

Blaine closed his eyes as he leaned against the desk. He could feel his emotions boiling inside of him, making his body shiver slightly. The sounds from the shop and the people working on cars reached his ears and seemed to make everything even more real. The way, the patient, kind way Burt was just looking at him was almost surreal.

"I don't think I have a good answer for that," he mumbled, looking down at his fingers as if they were the most interesting thing ever. He bit his lip. "I'm sure Kurt told you what I did…"

"He told me you lied to him," Burt answered simply, crossing his arms over his chest, nonchalantly. "About not loving him."

Blaine gaped like a fish out of the water, awkwardly. "I-I… don't. I don't. I thought I did. I was confused. I-I don't love Kurt."

"Keep telling yourself that, boy," Burt muttered with something that resembled a smirk, and Blaine knew there was no point in fighting him. Kurt' dad could see right through him. He was too weak and tired to keep up the façade any longer. "Why don't you tell me why you're here?"

Blaine sighed. "I miss Kurt."

"Well, it would've been a lot more productive for you to go over to his place, then, because he's not here," Burt took the seat in front of him and sat back on the chair, getting comfortable.

"I just… I just want to know how he's doing," Blaine admitted, frustrated with himself for not being able to stay away. "I want to make sure he's alright."

"He's not," Burt said simply, causing Blaine's stomach to shrink horribly. "He's sad and lonely and he misses you just as much as you miss him."

"He'll get over me…" Blaine closed his eyes and tried to erase the image of Kurt being absolutely miserable out of his mind.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Burt shook his head. "Look, Blaine, I know Kurt better than anyone else. I knew the moment he called me to tell me he was bringing a friend over for Thanksgiving that you meant to him a lot more than he wanted to admit. And once you two were here, seeing you together… I just knew. He is in love with you and when Kurt loves someone, he truly does. He won't get over you, at least not easily, not without suffering a lot first. It will take him months, years even."

Blaine felt the anguish settling inside his chest. "I don't want him to suffer. That's the last thing I want."

"Then go back to him, bud."

Blaine wished it could be just that simple. He wished he could just knock on Kurt's door and kiss him as if nothing had happened, but he knew things wouldn't go back to normal just like that. He had failed Kurt because he wasn't able to get over his daddy issues. He wouldn't be able to be with him completely if he didn't learn how to be a real man first.

No. What the hell was he even thinking about? No. "Kurt deserves so much better than me. Someone who can really be there for him, someone who's brave enough to walk down the street holding his hand without caring who's going to see him…"

"And why can't you be that guy, Blaine?" Burt asked, tilting his head slightly to the side. "I don't see why you can't learn to be with him that way. You know exactly what you need to do."

Blaine swallowed again, nodding slowly. "Yeah. But I'm too afraid to do it."

"You can overcome fear, Blaine. It takes a while and it's hard, but it's possible," Burt said in a soft voice. "But living without the person you love? It's not that easy, you know. And it doesn't get easier." He took a deep breath. "I lost Kurt's mom. I lost her, I didn't have a way to hold onto her, I had no other choice, I had to let her go. If you're letting Kurt go it's because you want to, not because it's the way it has to be. He's waiting for you and you're not going to get him."

The lump that had been forming in Blaine's throat only got heavier and he felt the urge to cry, but stopped himself, knowing he had already embarrassed himself enough in front of Burt.

"I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Kurt when he said he was staying in Ohio because he wanted to be close to his family," Burt leaned over the desk, closer to Blaine. "One day, we'll be gone. Carole and me, we're not gonna be here. And if Kurt stays here for years, just to be close to his parents, he's going to miss a lot of opportunities and he's going to wake up in ten, fifteen, twenty years, and he's going to be alone. He'll want a family of his own, and he won't have it because he wasn't strong enough to let go of us in time to live his own life. The same thing will happen to you, Blaine."

"My parents aren't like you. They're not like you and Carole at all," Blaine sniffled, without being able to help it.

Burt reached out and squeezed his arm with a bitter smile on his face. "I know, buddy. But it's the same deal. You're so worried about your family, about what your parents are going to say or do, that you're not living your own life. You're letting it go. At least Kurt's risking it all for a loving family but…, and, I'm sorry I have to say this, Blaine, what are you risking everything for? When have your parents given you anything in return?"

Blaine looked away. Burt's words seemed to be stabbing him in the chest and he found himself speechless, breathless. No one had ever told him something like that. No one had ever told him he could put his happiness first. It seemed something so simple and yet… Blaine had never felt like he could do it.

There was a knock on the door and after a second, one of Burt's employees peeked inside to ask Burt for help with a car. Burt sighed and stood up.

"You can stay here as long as you need to, if you want to think about it," Burt offered, walking towards the door and standing there for a moment as he took a good look at Blaine. "But maybe there's somewhere else you should go…"

Blaine managed to make his lips form the ghost of a smile. "Not yet," he answered in a low, thoughtful voice. "I think I really need to solve some things first, but I…" he looked up, his hazel eyes fixed on Burt's. "I'm in love with your son, Mr. Hummel. He's the best thing that has ever happened to me."

"Then do what you need to do and go get him," Burt said, pointing at him with a finger.

Blaine stood up and walked to the door, too. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, son," Burt clasped him on the shoulder affectionately and this time, Blaine didn't flinch. "You can come back here anytime, you hear me? This is your home, too."

Blaine's smile turned a bit watery. "You don't know how much I appreciate it, sir."

"It's Burt," he corrected as Blaine took his keys out of his pocket when they reached his car. "You're part of this family, Blaine, want it or not. There's no need to be so formal."

Blaine was glad the shaking in his hands wasn't so evident when he opened the door of his car to get inside. He couldn't get any more words out, afraid he would end up sobbing in Burt Hummel's arms. They said their goodbyes, Burt went back inside to work on whatever car was waiting for him, and Blaine started the long drive back to Columbus, sure of two things: he was going to change his life and he was going to get Kurt back.

He was done being scared.