Kurt couldn't sleep that night. He laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, with only the light coming from the busy city outside his window painting shadows on the walls. He didn't want to cry, but stubborn tears trailed down his face anyway.

He had never thought he could be so happy and so miserable at the same time.

Knowing that his baby was on the way, that he would get to be a dad very soon filled him with the kind of joy he had never imagined experiencing. But losing Blaine was hard – he hadn't meant to care so much for him. It had all started like a one night stand, but it was so, so far from that now…

Well, it had been. It was over now, and this time he didn't think Blaine would be coming back.

Kurt couldn't stop picturing the hurt he had seen in Blaine's eyes. He had looked so confused and broken, like he couldn't believe Kurt was capable of inflicting him that much pain. Kurt hadn't known he was capable of it, either, and it horrified him. He had allowed things to go too far, and he had been too much of a coward to be honest when he still had time.

But a part of Kurt couldn't let things end like this. Even if Blaine never wanted to see him again, he couldn't let him go believing he hadn't meant a thing to him. Because every second he had spent by Blaine's side had meant more than months and months with other men.

He found his cell phone and quickly tapped it to access a new message.

To: Blaine

I know I'm probably the last person you want to hear from now, but I wanted to tell you how sorry I am. I never meant for things to end like this. I'm sorry I made you think you weren't good enough, or that I didn't care about you. I care about you so much, Blaine. I understand that this is suddenly more than you signed up for, but I just hope you can forgive me one day. I'll miss you. I'm sorry.

It didn't seem enough. Blaine deserved elaborate apologies, complete with flowers and fancy dinners. He deserved kisses, hugs and promises he could keep. But Kurt had nothing to give him anymore, because he had become something Blaine wouldn't want. And Kurt had made his choice months ago – he couldn't back up now. He didn't want to back up.

Maybe his father had been wrong, after all, for the first time ever. Maybe Kurt couldn't be everything he wanted to be at the same time. Maybe he could only be a dad.

He wished his baby was there already, so he could wrap it up in his arms and find a reason to smile tonight.

He put his cell phone down on the pillow next to him, but it didn't light up again. Blaine didn't reply, and Kurt knew he was never going to.

This was really the end.

*

As days went by, Kurt didn't allow himself to think of Blaine anymore. He kept himself busy and distracted as much as he could, mostly by finishing up the baby's room, reading parenting books that made him panic and wish he had started on them a lot sooner, and working on the last few weddings he would be fully in charge of before the baby arrived.

Thanksgiving seemed to sneak up on him. He wasn't seeing his family this year – he wanted to be in town in case Tanya needed him, and Burt had preferred saving the trip so he could meet his grandchild. Santana and Dani were throwing a little dinner party, though, so at least he had somewhere to be, even if he truly wished he could hide a little while in his father's arms.

Dani opened the door with a bright smile. “Hey Kurt! Come on in!”

Kurt stepped into the apartment and lifted a paper bag from the bakery. “I brought pecan pie.”

“Oh, thank you! Let me put it with the others,” Dani said, still standing at the door. She seemed confused, and then looked out into the hallway.

“Are you okay?” Kurt asked, arching an eyebrow at her.

“Yes, yes…” Dani assured him, closing the door. “I just thought you would bring Blaine. Didn't Santana tell you to invite him? I shouldn't have left her take care of the invitations.”

“She did tell me,” Kurt answered, before clearing his throat awkwardly. “He's not coming. We broke up.”

Dani's face fell. “Oh, Kurt. I'm so sorry…”

“Why are you sorry?” Santana asked as she approached from the kitchen, wearing heels so high that she towered over them. She glanced at Kurt with a frown. “You look awful.”

“Wow, Santana, it's always such a pleasure to see you,” Kurt deadpanned. He wasn't in the mood for her crude remarks.

“San, he and Blaine broke up,” Dani informed her softly, as she wrapped an arm around Kurt's waist. “Be nice.”

“Again?” Santana retorted, unimpressed. “You two break up more frequently than Rachel and Finn back in high school.”

Rachel must have felt summoned, because she appeared in the hallway, with Lilah perched on her hip. “Hey guys! What are you doing gathered here? Hi, Kurt!”

Kurt could feel a headache coming already. All he wanted was an evening with his friends in which he could chat, eat and have a good time without thinking about Blaine. “Hi, Rachel.”

“He and Blaine broke up again,” Santana said.

Rachel's eyes went comically wide. “Oh, that's terrible news! We have to do something about that immediately!”

“No, we don't,” Kurt said sharply, cutting her off before she could start planning serenades and other disastrous solutions. “He found out about the baby, it went worse than I thought it would, we broke up, and it's over.” The other three were silent, staring at him with pitying looks that only irritated him more. “Now someone please get me a glass of wine, and talk of something else!”

“But Kurt…” Rachel started, as stubborn as ever. “Are you sure this can't be fixed? Maybe if you talk to him…”

“I won't talk to him,” Kurt replied, running out of patience. “I already hurt him enough.”

“Kurt, you clearly like him,” Dani said carefully, as if scared he would suddenly start breathing fire and kill them.

“No, Dani. You know what? I was stupid enough to fall in love with him,” Kurt said angrily. “I finally find a guy I love, and who I can picture myself with for a very long time, and then everything ends in heartache. I'm done. I can't deal with this. I have other things to worry about. I have a baby on the way and a business that requires the rest of my time. I don't have time to fall in love and suffer through all this. So can someone get me that fucking glass of wine or will I have to get it myself?”

The three of them stared at him, a little taken aback. Santana and Rachel looked like they were ready to argue, but Dani took his arm and slowly began to guide him to the kitchen, not wanting things to get even uglier.

He didn't see the conspirational glance they all shared behind his back.

*

Blaine picked up the remote and turned the volume up, hoping the television would drown out the noises coming from the apartment next door. His neighbor obviously had people over for Thanksgiving, and the sound of music, chatter, kids playing, and laughter was driving him insane. He just wanted everyone to shut up.

So Blaine wasn't in a particularly good mood.

Some of the guys from the gym had invited him over for dinner, but he had declined, knowing he would probably end up ruining everyone else's day. He didn't feel like painting a smile on his face and making polite conversation. He just wanted to stay on the couch, in his pajamas, watch horror movies, and eat Chinese food.

He didn't want to admit that he was rolling around on a pretty deep self-pity puddle. As long as he kept it inside his apartment, no one needed to know.

When his cell phone began to ring, he considered letting it go to voicemail. What if it was Kurt? He hadn't contacted him again since that very long apology text the night they had broken up, but Blaine had no idea who else it could be. He pretended not to feel the little flutter of hope in his chest – he didn't want anything to do with Kurt. He was done with him. He was done being hurt by him.

There was no point in loving someone who clearly would never love you back.

Reluctantly, Blaine stood up to retrieve the phone from where he had left it on the kitchen table. He frowned when he saw it was Cooper calling. Since they had talked at the gym, Cooper had tried to contact him randomly every now and again, mostly just to say hello. It never sounded like he was expecting anything from Blaine, but Blaine could notice the ridiculously happy tone in his voice whenever Blaine talked to him.

Maybe he had been wrong about Cooper all these years. He was still as much of a self-absorbed idiot as he had been when Blaine was still in high school, but he wasn't a bad guy. Sometimes it was hard remembering the same blood ran through their veins. Blaine couldn't imagine being brothers with someone more different from him than Cooper.

Before the call could go to voicemail, Blaine accepted it. “Hello?”

“Hi Squirt!” Cooper exclaimed, and Blaine could almost hear his smile. “Happy Thanksgiving!”

“Thank you. You too,” Blaine replied. He went back to the couch, muted the television and wrapped his free arm around himself, as if he needed extra support for this conversation. “Uhm. Are you in Ohio?”

Every year, Blaine received the same email from his mother inviting him over for Thanksgiving. Every year, Blaine ignored it. He had figured Cooper went anyway, even if he refused to be part of the family.

“No, no,” Cooper replied. “Michelle and I wanted to have our very first Thanksgiving as a married couple by ourselves. We've been so busy lately that we just wanted some intimacy… plus, you know. Food and sex. What else could you be grateful for today, right?” He laughed, and Blaine closed his eyes and groaned internally. He didn't need to know about his brother's holiday sex marathon. He hoped Cooper was wearing pants during this conversation. “I imagine you and Kurt are enjoying a similar day?”

Blaine felt himself tense. “No,” he answered in a monotone. “Kurt and I broke up.”

“Oh,” Cooper seemed surprised. “Was it… is it still for what I did? I'm sorry, Blaine. I didn't mean to drag him into…”

“No, it's not about that,” Blaine interrupted, eager to end this conversation. “It's just… complicated. He clearly doesn't feel the same, and I…” He shook his head. “Look, it doesn't matter, okay? It's over.”

Cooper sighed sadly. “If you say so…” There was a small pause, and then Cooper talked again, trying to sound cheerful. “So, what are your plans, then? Spending the day with some friends? What do you usually do during the holidays?”

“I have no plans,” Blaine said, and god, could he be any more pathetic? “I don't have much to be grateful for, honestly.” Yes, he could.

“Right…” Cooper said awkwardly, and a new pause followed. “Well, I think I hear the oven timer, so I'll go check on the turkey. It was nice talking to you, Blaine. I'll call you soon. Bye!”

Cooper hung up before Blaine could even reply. He pressed the phone against his ear a little tighter, as if part of him hadn't been ready to let go.

“Bye,” he whispered to the empty apartment, and then let the phone fall on the cushion next to him.

He focused his gaze on the television, but he had no idea what was happening on the screen. He zoned out completely, and didn't bother turning the volume back up. The happy Thanksgiving dinner next door filled his own living room with cheery voices, and if he closed his eyes, for just one second, he could imagine he was part of it, too.

He must have fallen asleep at some point, because he was snapping his eyes open an hour later, startled at the sound of someone pounding on his door.

“What the fuck?” He muttered. He wasn't in the mood for any unexpected visits from his neighbors, and if anyone even dared to ask him for sugar or gravy or potatoes, he was going to punch them in the face…

When he pulled the door open, however, he was suddenly faced with a huge turkey covered in plastic wrap. He blinked stupidly at it, just as a head peered from behind it. His brother's blinding smile was the first thing he saw.

“Happy Thanksgiving!” Cooper exclaimed.

“I… what… Cooper? What are you doing here?” Blaine asked, perplexed.

“What does it look like I'm doing? Tap-dancing?” Cooper rolled his eyes. “I'm here to spend Thanksgiving with my baby brother. Now move out of the way, this bird is heavy as hell.”

Blaine was too shocked to protest, so he simply stepped aside and let Cooper into the apartment. Michelle had been standing behind him, carrying two big platters wrapped in aluminum foil, and a paper bag under one arm. She grinned brightly at him.

“Hi! You must be Blaine. We didn't talk at all at the wedding,” she said in a very thick French accent. “But Cooper talks about you all the time.”

“I… yeah, it's nice to meet you,” he managed to mumble awkwardly. “Come on in.”

Michelle and Cooper immediately started moving around the kitchen effortlessly, heating up the food and looking for plates so they could set the table. Blaine stood at the door, watching them, completely dumbfounded.

Michelle was beautiful, just the kind of woman you would picture next to Cooper. They looked like they had stepped out of a Disney movie, a princess and a prince, with their eyes full of love, and silly smiles whenever their hands brushed as they worked. Blaine could see how in love they were, and his heart ached for a moment, wondering if he would ever find that.

He had found it, but it was gone now.

Before he knew it, they were sitting at the kitchen table. Cooper cut into the turkey as Michelle plated the rest of the food. She grabbed Blaine's plate and smiled at him sweetly.

“You want mashed potatoes, yes?” She asked.

Blaine could only nod. She gave him a very generous serving and then passed the plate to Cooper so he could give him some turkey. She and Cooper chatted distractedly as they did, and Blaine was fascinated at their dynamic. Sometimes Michelle would mix in a few French words, and Cooper wouldn't even blink, used to it.

When their plates were full, they simply looked at each other for a moment. Cooper grinned, as if he couldn't imagine anything better than being there, in his brother's little kitchen, about to eat reheated Thanksgiving food, instead of sharing a holiday sex marathon in private with his wife.

Blaine had spent many years without his brother, resentful and hurt. In the end, it turned out they had never understood each other – Blaine had thought Cooper hated him, and Cooper had thought he was being supportive when all he was doing was hurting Blaine even more. But it looked like they had finally reached some sort of middle ground, and when Blaine glanced across the table at him, he realized Cooper could feel it too.

“Thank you for being here,” Blaine muttered quietly.

Cooper's smile was soft. “Thank you for letting me be here.”

Despite the heartache, it was the best Thanksgiving Blaine had had in years.

*

The park was covered in snow. The air against Kurt's cheeks should have been freezing, but he couldn't even feel it. He was crossing the park, his boots heavy in the dense snow, but he suddenly realized he had no idea where he was going.

Was there a wedding he was supposed to be working on? Was he on his way to another doctor appointment with Tanya?

And why was the park so deserted? Never, in all the years he had been living in New York, had he seen Central Park so barren. It didn't matter how cold it was, there was always someone there. But as he looked around, Kurt realized he was completely alone, and the feeling that he was supposed to be somewhere else became stronger and stronger, until he was so overwhelmed that he had to find a bench and take a seat.

He closed his eyes, hoping to center himself, taking a few deep breaths. Something was wrong, wasn't it?

Kurt felt hands on his shoulders, as a jacket was wrapped around him. He looked down and realized he had been wearing only an old t-shirt, with a faded inscription that said Mendez Gym. He frowned, not knowing how he had ended up wearing that, or how he hadn't noticed he didn't have a coat on, with how cold it was outside.

Then he glanced up to see who was there, and his heart almost stopped when he found himself staring right into Blaine Anderson's beautiful golden eyes.

“You're going to catch a cold, silly,” Blaine said softly, smiling down at him.

“Blaine?” Kurt gasped. “What are you doing here?”

“You told me you needed help with the baby,” Blaine shrugged, as his hands tightened on Kurt's shoulders slightly.

Kurt frowned in confusion. “The baby? But… I don't have the baby yet.”

“Yes, you do,” Blaine replied, as his hands became heavier and heavier on him.

“Then… where is it?” Kurt tried to shake Blaine's hands off his shoulders, but he couldn't move. He looked back up at Blaine, and saw him watching something in the distance.

There was a small bundle wrapped in a black blanket beneath a tree. There was a strong wind and the blanket loosened a bit. Kurt could hear the baby's faint crying.

“Blaine! We can't leave it there! It's so cold, why did you leave my baby on the snow?” Kurt asked, panicking. He tried to get up, but no matter how hard he pushed against Blaine's grip, he wouldn't let go. “Please, let me go!”

Blaine seemed confused. “I'm not doing anything, Kurt. You're the one who has to let go. You have to let me go to be a good dad, remember? That's what you said. That's what you wanted.”

Kurt turned back to the baby, but snow was falling quickly, and he could barely see the black bundle anymore. “Why aren't you helping me? Blaine, please!”

He was crying. He could feel his icy tears running down his cheeks. His body felt so heavy that he couldn't even try to push Blaine away now. He leaned back against him, and let the weight of Blaine's hands keep him glued to the bench.

Suddenly, Blaine was sitting next to him instead. He smiled in that sweet way of his, and cupped Kurt's jaw in his hands.

“Are you ready to let go, now?” Blaine asked in a whisper.

Kurt didn't know what to say. “Why do I always have to let things go?” He said sadly.

Blaine's face fell and he tilted his head until their foreheads were touching. “Because that's what you think you need to do. But maybe it wouldn't be so bad holding on, just this once…”

Kurt wanted to move in closer and kiss him, but Blaine's attention was suddenly in something he had in his lap. Kurt looked down, and found Blaine was carefully cradling the baby, pulling the bundle closer to his chest, keeping it warm.

“Blaine…” Kurt muttered, unable to stop crying. He wanted to kiss Blaine, and to see the baby's face.

The hand Blaine was using to cup Kurt's jaw shifted minutely, until he could bury his fingers in Kurt's chestnut hair. He pressed their foreheads together again, and they both looked down at the baby. A small hand was getting free from the blanket, and Kurt stared at it in awe.

“You have to wake up, Kurt,” Blaine murmured. “Wake up.”

Kurt slowly reached towards the tiny hand, wanting to touch it. “Why?”

“Because the phone is ringing,” Blaine said, and leaned in to press their lips together.

Kurt sat in bed abruptly. He was crying, sweating, and panting, as his entire body shivered. His heart was beating abnormally fast, and it took him a second to see the glow of his phone on the night stand.

He grabbed it in his shaking hand, and accepted the call, unable to see who was calling through his blurry vision. He wiped his tears away and tried to speak, even though it seemed like the hardest thing to do right now.

“Blaine? Blaine, is that you?” He muttered desperately.

There was a deep breath on the other end, but the voice that finally spoke didn't belong to the man he loved and had lost. “Kurt, it's me,” Tanya said. She exhaled loudly, carefully, like she was trying to keep control. “It's time.”

He didn't need to hear another word. Kurt knew exactly what Tanya meant with that, because this was the moment he had been dreaming of for months.

It was a little past three in the morning on December 17th, and Kurt jumped out of bed to rush to the hospital.

His baby was coming.

*