Kurt had experienced many kisses in his life. There had been awkward first kisses, enthusiastic kisses, kisses on the cheek from family and friends, kisses that were only a door to something more, distracted kisses born from habit, kisses that hadn't meant enough, kisses that had meant everything to him but not to the person he shared it with, kisses on the forehead given by his mother once upon a time. He could catalogue kisses into a million different categories, but none of them had kept him up at night the way this last little kiss with Blaine did.

It hadn't lasted long. It hadn't been open-mouthed and desperate. It had barely been more than a peck. And still… Kurt could have drowned in it, blissfully. He wouldn't have put an end to it, not even for a much-needed breath. He would have drowned in Blaine's arms and died a happy death.

And fuck if that didn't scare the shit out of him.

He tried to push the thought away. He tried to keep himself busy with work, and Rachel's crazy idea of throwing a Halloween party. He tried to focus on choosing, once and for all, the perfect décor for the baby's room. He tried to fill the silence in his apartment with mindless television, business phone calls, and music that only made him think of the man he was trying to push away.

The universe seemed to enjoy torturing him.

Every time the doorbell rang, Kurt took a deep breath and opened it only to find virtually everyone he knew, except Blaine. He felt like an idiot – hadn't he put an end to this for a good reason? Just because he ran into Blaine at one of his most vulnerable moments, it didn't mean he could take that decision back. He couldn't waste his – or Blaine's, for that matter – time anymore. He had a baby on the way.

A baby he didn't feel anywhere near ready to welcome.

The scare with Tanya only made Kurt see that his list of things to do before the baby arrived was still too long. The bedroom wasn't ready, there weren't enough clothes, he hadn't started stocking up on diapers, or formula. He needed teddy bears and blankets and a changing table and… oh, the list kept going and going, until Kurt worked himself into a panic.

Distractions were scarce, and worries seemed to overflow lately, but Kurt somehow managed. He told himself he would figure out all the baby stuff soon – he was Burt Hummel's son, after all. Being a good dad had to be in his blood, right? And Blaine… Blaine would eventually vanish from his thoughts, right? It wasn't as if Kurt would never move on. It wasn't as if he was in love with the guy…

He pretended he didn't feel his stomach twisting anxiously every time he disregarded the idea.

*

Kurt hadn't been on the mood to spend a lot of time on his Halloween costume this year. He had been too busy, especially at work. One of the couples he was working with got along so awfully that he had no idea why they even bothered getting married at all. He gave them two weeks – they would either get a divorce or kill each other during the honeymoon. When the time for Rachel's party came around, he realized he hadn't even put much thought into what he would wear, so he scanned through his closet until he found a few pieces he could combine and make it work.

Santana had arched an eyebrow as soon as she saw him. “And what are you supposed to be?”

She was Catwoman this year, and Kurt had to admit she looked magnificent in the tight leather suit.

“Charlie Chaplin,” Kurt answered, rolling his eyes and pointing at himself. It was quite obvious, after all. He could see her judging her. “What? I didn't have a lot of time for this. At least I'm not dressed as Minnie Mouse, like Rachel is.”

“She said she did it for Lilah,” Dani said, appearing next to Santana in her Wonder Woman costume.

“Well, the poor child is terrified. Look at her! I would be scared shitless, too!” Santana exclaimed, and the three of them turned to see Rachel removing the giant Minnie Mouse head off her costume so she could have a drink and breathe. For the fifteenth time that night, Lilah saw her and started bawling, terrified. Rachel rushed towards her to calm her, but her husband had to step in and keep her from traumatizing their child even more.

By the end of the night, Kurt had to admit, he had a lot of fun. It had been nice to laugh with his friends, dance a little, and have a few drinks. It still didn't erase what had happened the previous week with Blaine and Tanya, but it helped him relax a lot more than he had relaxed in what felt like months.

He had work the next day, so he couldn't stay as long as the others did. He said goodbye to his friends and left. The streets were crowded with people in costumes, and Kurt had fun watching them and critiquing their costumes internally while he walked to the subway station.

He hadn't realized Blaine's gym was on his way until he was at the door. It was closed for the night, with a lonely light bulb hanging over the entrance, but Kurt couldn't help himself – he stopped and watched the building. He wondered if Blaine was out there, celebrating Halloween like most of New York City's population, or if he was home relaxing for the night. Wherever he was, Kurt hoped he was happy.

A poster next to the door caught his eye. It looked like there was another fight happening the following week. It didn't take long for Kurt to find Blaine's name listed among the boxers that would compete. The idea of Blaine getting up on that ring again and getting hurt made Kurt ache deep within, and he twisted his hands together as he stared at that name he knew so well.

The roar of laughter from a group of friends approaching down the sidewalk snapped Kurt out of his daze, and he hurried to walk in the direction of the subway station. There was no point in standing in front of an old, empty gym. There was nothing for him there.

He had walked away. It had been for the best. Blaine was no longer part of his life, beautiful, unforgettable kisses be damned.

*

It was just another week from hell – Kurt had to play mediator with the couple that had been driving him crazy lately. They almost broke up when they couldn't agree on the wedding cake, and he was sure the bride-to-be had eyed his stapler and began to evaluate it as a weapon before Kurt decided it was time to intervene. He didn't want her to kill the man in his office. He had a beautiful, brand new white carpet.

The wedding he had on Friday night was for a much sweeter couple. They had been together since high school. They were expecting their first baby and decided to get married before their son was born. Macy looked absolutely stunning in her white gown that let her baby bump show. It was quite a simple ceremony, but Kurt decided it was one of his favorite ones – he had almost been able to breathe their love in the air. These two had been made for each other, like Charlie said during the vows, and they had been so lucky to find each other in such a big world, so early on.

Kurt discretely wiped a tear away when Charlie finished saying his vows. He was just tired, that was all. He had worked hard all week.

The only downtime was at the reception, once all the guests were on the dance floor, with their bellies full of delicious food and their hearts full of love and joy. He stood by the side, looking around and making sure everything was going well, as he usually did, when the song playing changed. He recognized the new one very soon – it was the one he had danced to at Cooper's wedding with Blaine.

 It hit him like a slap to the face. He missed Blaine. It didn't matter how much he tried to distract himself. It didn't matter if he knew letting him go was the logical thing to do. It didn't matter that his life was about to get a lot more complicated than it already was. He missed him so much he didn't know how he managed to breathe.

Maybe it was time to admit that he had feelings for Blaine, too.

But what difference did it make? Their lives had reached a crossroad and separated. Kurt was having a baby soon, and Blaine's life was still too complicated, ruled by anger and pain, by a past he obviously hadn't moved on from. How could Kurt be with Blaine when it wasn't just him he had to worry about anymore?

You'll be a dad, a wedding planner, a friend, a son, and a man, all at the same time, and so much more than that, too. If you think this guy's worth it… don't let him go just because you have some weird idea about what being a parent is. You're a person, Kurt, not a box. There are so many more sides of you.

Burt Hummel had always seemed to know what the right thing to say was.

Right there, in the middle of another wedding, Kurt Hummel made his choice. He wasn't sure if it was a wise choice or where it would take him, but he knew he would regret it deeply if he ignored what his heart had been desperately screaming for since Blaine had walked away.

Kurt wasn't deaf anymore – he was going to listen to his heart, once and for all.

He chose Blaine.

*

The tube light in the locker room was flickering again, casting on and off shadows on Blaine as he tightened his gloves. He could hear the murmur of the crowd outside, but here, it was quiet. Quiet enough to make him despair.

Everything seemed way too quiet later.

He knew he had to be out there in five minutes – the previous fight had ended, and someone from a different gym had won, so the locals had all their hopes on him. Blaine was eager to jump onto the ring, to hear the audience claiming for blood. It made him feel alive every time, and it had been a while since he had felt truly alive, since he had felt the air in his lungs and the pump of blood through his veins. His life moved on autopilot now.

Except for last week, when Kurt had kissed him.

But that wasn't something Blaine allowed himself to think about. Kurt hadn't been himself at the moment – whatever had happened at the hospital had really affected him – and that kiss probably had been more a need for comfort than anything else. Blaine had tried to push it away from his memory every day since then. There was no point in letting himself hope. He already knew what happened when he was stupid enough to believe there was a sliver of light in his life.

One of the other trainers knocked on the open door. “It's time, Anderson!” He exclaimed, full of enthusiasm.

Blaine tried to smile, but it was like his muscles didn't remember what they were supposed to do to achieve it. “I'm coming.”

The crowd welcomed him with a roar – he knew he was a favorite. He had won most of his fights since he had started competing, and he had been part of the gym for a decade now. These guys were like a family to him. At this point, they were probably the only family he would ever have.

When the ref announced him, he got onto the ring. The audience grew louder and he nodded to show his appreciation. He swiped his hazel eyes over the crowd. It was a full house tonight, which made him glad. It was good to keep the gym in business…

Blaine had to do a double take. It just had to have been wishful thinking. There was no way that…

Kurt was standing there. His bright blue eyes were staring right at him, and a little smile wobbled on his lips as their gazes met. Blaine was breathless, and he just didn't understand. Why was Kurt there? He didn't want to allow himself to hope. He couldn't bear to go through all that hurt again. It would unequivocally destroy him, once and for all.

Kurt crossed his fingers and mouthed good luck, before pressing his open palm to his chest, right where his heart was.

Even if he didn't want it, hope burned bright in Blaine's chest, travelling through his body, warming up every inch of him. His own heart began to beat wildly. Was it…? Could it be…?

Blaine smiled right at Kurt. Then he punched his gloves together and faced his opponent. Oh, he was ready.

He had never been more ready in his life.

*

When Blaine smiled at him all the way from the ring, Kurt felt as if his heart was going to beat right out of his chest. He hadn't liked the stoic, serious look on Blaine's face when he appeared in front of the crowd. Part of him still had no idea what he was doing, but he knew that if Blaine was smiling, then he definitely wasn't doing so badly.

The first round started and Kurt held his breath as he watched Blaine move towards his opponent without a moment's hesitation. He was unstoppable since the very first punch – it was as if someone had switched a button and filled Blaine with restless energy. The crowd loved it, cheering for him louder and louder every time his fist landed on the other man.

It was still slightly barbaric, but Kurt grinned. He was proud of Blaine for not backing down, for being unapologetic about what he did with his life. He was proud of him for reasons he couldn't even put down in words. He just knew that, as he watched him, Kurt felt as if the whole world had tilted on its axis, and now it moved at the perfect pace. He had never known he had been running to catch up with it, not until this moment.

The first round ended just as Blaine threw a perfect jab at the other man, making him stumble backwards with the force of it. Kurt clapped, excitedly, but was immediately distracted by a whoop of joy that came from a few rows behind him.

“Yes! God, that's my Squirt!” The voice said, and the hint of pride and the nickname were enough to make Kurt turn around and sweep through the audience.

Cooper was standing near the entrance, wearing a baseball cap and a leather jacket. It was evident he was in incognito mode, but Kurt wasn't sure just how effective it was – the designer sunglasses he had on were a little too obvious, especially because they were indoors and it the sky outside was already dark.

Kurt moved towards him, frowning. “Cooper? What are you doing here?”

“Kurt? Hi!” Cooper exclaimed happily. “I should have known you were going to be here. Isn't he amazing tonight? This is probably the best he's ever fought!”

Kurt was a little surprised at that comment. “How do you know that? Do you come to his fights often? Does he know you're here?”

“Of course he doesn't. He would be punching me, if he knew,” Cooper replied, and though he said it lightly, Kurt noticed the hint on bitterness in his voice. “I just sneak in here to see him whenever I can.”

Kurt turned back towards the ring. Blaine was chugging down some water, just as the referee moved to the center to mark the start of the second round. Blaine bounced to his feet to face his opponent.

“I guess you don't want a repeat of what happened at his apartment the last time,” Kurt sighed.

“No, I don't,” Cooper glanced at him sadly for a moment. “I miss him, you know? I would do anything to talk to him for a little while, but I don't know how. I don't know how to get my baby brother back…”

The anguish in Cooper's voice was loud and clear. Kurt had no idea what to say or how to help him. He knew Blaine had his reasons to stay away, but what if he was wrong? What if his brother hadn't always been against him, like Blaine had believed? What if things could be fixed? Would Blaine want to have his family back?

He got distracted when the crowd grew more euphoric, and looked back towards the ring. Blaine had the other man trapped against the ropes, and was punching him mercilessly. Kurt instinctively reached and grabbed onto Cooper's arm, squeezing it.

The opponent managed to turn them around until it was Blaine who was against the ropes. Blaine raised his hands to protect his face from the punches.

“Oh god,” Kurt murmured, undecided between squeezing Cooper's arm until he cut his circulation or hiding his eyes behind his hands so he wouldn't see this. “Come on, Blaine!” He screamed instead, unable to stop himself. “You can do it, honey!”

Blaine threw a fast right hook, followed by a few quick jabs, until the other man was stumbling back like he had done before. It seemed to make him lose his center, and Blaine took it as the opportunity it was – his fists were quick like shooting stars, landing on the man's face, stomach and sides intermittently, until he lost his footing and Blaine retrieved.

As much as his opponent tried, he couldn't stand up again. The referee counted to ten very slowly as both Kurt and Cooper held their breaths, expectantly.

Blaine's smile was huge when the referee held his hand up in the air in victory. His hazel eyes began to roam the audience eagerly, as if looking for something.

“You should go,” Cooper murmured, giving Kurt a smile. “He's looking for you.”

“I… are you okay, Cooper?” Kurt asked, because he didn't want to leave him alone just like that.

“Yeah, I'm fine. I should probably leave before he sees me anyway,” Cooper shrugged as if it didn't matter. “Bye, Kurt.”

Kurt didn't wait for Cooper to leave or say anything else. He snaked his way through the crowd towards the ring, and Blaine's gaze found him just before he reached it. He climbed through the ropes and jumped off the ring, landing right in front of Kurt. He wasn't as hurt as he had been after the first fight Kurt had seen. There was only a little cut on his chin, but he looked unharmed aside from that. Kurt hesitated for a moment as they looked into each other's eyes. He wasn't sure what was next.

Blaine made the decision for him. He wrapped his arm around Kurt's waist, pressing his gloved hand against Kurt's side, and pulled him closer. He didn't seem to care that they were surrounded by people, that the cheering and roaring of the crowd hadn't died out yet, that every pair of eyes was on them at the moment. Blaine simply looked right into Kurt's eyes, as if looking for something. And he probably found it, because he was moving in a second later, his lips meeting Kurt's in an eager kiss that tasted a lot like sweat and victory.

Kurt wrapped his own arms around him to kiss him back, and didn't care who was watching.

*

Blaine's apartment looked exactly like the last time Kurt had been there – messy and boyish, but homey. It was the perfect apartment for a man like Blaine. It smelled like him, too. Kurt really, really liked that.

They hadn't said much after the kiss. Blaine had gone into the locker room for a quick shower, and Kurt had waited for him. They hadn't even needed to discuss it to know they were going home together – Blaine offered Kurt his hand as soon as he rejoined him, hair damp from the shower, and Kurt accepted it without question.

Blaine closed the door behind them after they had stepped inside. He leaned back against it and watched Kurt silently, his hazel eyes bright and open. Kurt looked over his shoulder when Blaine didn't follow, and smiled at him softly.

“We should probably talk, huh?” Kurt muttered, not without a pinch of anxiety.

But Blaine shook his head very, very slowly. “Not now. It can wait ‘til the morning, right?”

Kurt's whole body seemed to loosen at that. “I guess it can, yes.” He leaned against the armrest of the couch and simply looked at Blaine. “So what are we…?”

“I need to make love to you,” Blaine interrupted, and Kurt's breath caught. From anyone else, that would have been such a line. But with Blaine… oh, the shiver that ran down his spine was enough to take his words seriously. “I need to touch you. And I want you to touch me. Is that okay?”

Kurt let out a long, shaky breath. He nodded, dumbly. “Yes, that's more than okay.”

Blaine walked towards him. He didn't rush. He didn't look like he was going to jump Kurt right there in the middle of the living room. He looked almost cautious. He approached Kurt as if he was a scared little animal that would get spooked if he made a sudden movement.

Blaine stood before him. His eyes were wide and so bright that Kurt felt like he could get lost in them. Blaine reached, tentatively, and ran the tips of his fingers across Kurt's cheekbone and down his jaw. His thumb outlined the shape of Kurt's lips, and Kurt let them part, tempted to suck it into his mouth and show Blaine the way in which he could drive him crazy.

Blaine's mouth soon replaced his thumb on Kurt's lips. He kissed him slowly at first, as if he needed to get reacquainted with Kurt's mouth. Kurt was melting against him instantly, parting his lips, granting entrance, silently letting Blaine take whatever he wanted. Blaine accepted Kurt's offering, and his tongue soon pushed gently into his mouth. From there, it wasn't difficult for the kiss to turn more desperate, needier. Kurt's hands settled on Blaine's shoulders and pulled him closer, needing to feel his warm, hard body against his.

When Blaine ended the kiss, Kurt whined in protest, trying to chase his mouth. Blaine smiled and nuzzled their noses together, a gesture so tender that it seemed out of place with the fire burning between them.

“Let's go to bed,” Blaine whispered, and Kurt could only nod and grab his hand. He would have followed Blaine anywhere right now.

They didn't bother turning the lights one. Kurt stood in the middle of Blaine's dark bedroom, as Blaine moved around him, slowly working the buttons of his shirt, nipping on his jaw, letting his hands trail warm paths over every inch of skin he revealed. Kurt was shaking by the time he was naked – he wasn't sure if it was because he was cold, or because of what Blaine was making him feel.

Blaine undressed himself while Kurt wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. Kurt could feel the roughness of Blaine's clothes against his naked body. He knew he should have taken a step back and let Blaine get rid of his clothes, that it would be faster that way, but for some reason he couldn't let go. He wanted to be close to him, and Blaine didn't seem to mind.

They fell onto the bed once they were both naked. Blaine's body was heavy and solid on top of Kurt's, and Kurt moaned in delight. It was amazing to feel him like this again. His body had craved Blaine's desperately in the past few weeks. Now that he had it here again, he wasn't sure how he had managed to survive.

Kurt got so lost in Blaine's kisses that the slick touch of Blaine's fingers against his entrance shocked him. He gasped, but his legs fell open instantly. He wanted him, god, he wanted Blaine like he had never wanted anyone. He had thought he knew what passion and raw desire were, but the things that Blaine made him feel erased his past and forced him rewrite it. It had all been dulled and ordinary, until Blaine touched him. Now he could see the fireworks that the cliché romance novels talked about all the time. He didn't need an orgasm to see them – it was enough to feel one of Blaine's fingertips against his skin.

When he was stretched, ready and begging for Blaine, Kurt wrapped his legs around Blaine's hips and forced him closer, arching his back in anticipation. Blaine smiled against his lips, and sneaked a hand between their bodies to guide his cock into his body. Kurt threw his head back and moaned happily. It was perfect. He couldn't understand how he had gone so long without it…

He and Blaine had fucked so many times that he had lost count, but Kurt couldn't remember a single time that had been like this. The desperation that they both had seemed to feel at the beginning had vanished, and now every second, every breath, every kiss seemed too fragile and important. Blaine moved slowly above him, and their breaths mixed as they gasped into each other's mouths with every shift of their bodies. Kurt would have sworn that Blaine was smiling against his lips, but the flash of pleasure coursing through his body was so intense that he wasn't sure he was capable of feeling anything else.

“Blaine…” he murmured, because his name seemed to be the only important word he could utter right now.

“I'm here,” Blaine whispered back, shifting so he could hide his face in Kurt's neck. He nipped at his pulse point, teasingly. “I'm right here, baby.”

Kurt dug his heels on the small of Blaine's back, urging him deeper. “Keep going. Don't stop.”

“Never,” Blaine groaned.

Kurt closed his eyes and let the immense pleasure take over him. He lost track of time. He didn't know if Blaine fucked him for five more minutes or five more hours. The sun could have risen through the curtains and he still wouldn't have noticed. He allowed himself to get lost in this, to savor every second, to moan at the sparks that seemed to ignite his body. Blaine knew how to touch him, understood his body like no one else ever had.

His orgasm was a surprise. It sneaked up on him with a particularly sharp thrust of Blaine's hips. The way he hit Kurt's prostate made Kurt arch in ecstasy, and his cock twitched, shooting come all over his and Blaine's chest and stomach. Blaine panted in his ear, needy and beautiful, and then pushed himself onto his forearms, looking down at Kurt, still shocking through his own climax, and fucked him fast and hard, until the same pleasure coursed through him.

Kurt caught him in his arms when Blaine's faltered, and cradled him against his chest like he was something too precious to let go. He could feel the flutter of Blaine's eyelashes against his jaw. Kurt's legs were sore from holding onto Blaine's waist for so long, but he didn't want to loosen them, to let them fall to the bed. He didn't want to let Blaine pull away from him. He wanted to feel him inside him forever.

Blaine finally began trailing sweet little kisses over Kurt's collarbone. His hands ran down Kurt's sides, outlining every rib, every dip. Kurt hummed in contentment.

“Kurt?” Blaine's voice was deep in the darkness of the room.

“Yes?” Kurt said, as one of his hands moved up so he could bury his fingers in Blaine's damp curls.

“Stay?” Blaine murmured.

Somehow, Kurt knew he didn't just mean for the night. Blaine was asking for more, for so much more… and Kurt couldn't find a reason not to give it to him.

“Of course,” Kurt replied, and used the fingers tangled in his curls to pull Blaine into a sweet kiss, that felt a lot like a promise.

*