Loving Arms
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Loving Arms: Chapter 13


E - Words: 3,970 - Last Updated: Apr 25, 2014
Story: Complete - Chapters: 21/? - Created: Jan 30, 2014 - Updated: Jan 30, 2014
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Author's Notes:

Thank you for reading! Ill do my best to get chapter 14 up next weekend, but my schedule is a bit crazy at the moment, so please be patient!

Love you all,

L.-

Paul stood in front of them smiling charmingly, with his sandy blonde hair styled perfectly and wearing a gorgeous tan suit, as if he hadn't just completely ruined everything.

Three weeks ago, Blaine would've given anything to see him here, introducing himself to Cooper. Now, however, his sudden appearance made him horribly uncomfortable. He just wanted him to disappear right back to wherever he came from.

Cooper arched one of dark eyebrows in a flawless arc of polite inquiry. “I'm sorry, I mustn't have heard you correctly. You say you are…?”

“Paul? Blaine's boyfriend?” Paul insisted, looking at Cooper, as if he wasn't sure if Cooper was stupid or just deaf. He turned to Blaine, looking for his help to clear up the mystery. “You didn't tell your brother about me, sweet cheeks?”

A voice in the back of Blaine's mind groaned at the pet name. God, he'd always hated it when Paul called him sweet cheeks. But Blaine was too busy having a nervous breakdown, trying to figure out how he was going to get Paul the hell out of here, explain this to Cooper and get him to keep his ginormous mouth shut about it.

But Cooper, of course, never did what Blaine needed him to do. “Look, I don't know who you really are, but I can tell you who you are not. You're not Blaine's boyfriend. And if you think this lame joke is some kind of…”

Paul crossed his arms over his chest and faced Blaine, clearly losing his patience. “Blaine, what exactly is going on? Did you tell your brother about our, uhm, little misunderstanding? Is that what this is about?”

“Blaine, do you know this idiot?” Cooper turned to him too. Blaine could feel a very annoying distant buzzing sound in his head, the sound of his carefully constructed web of lies about to collapse.

“Hey, you do not get to talk to me like that,” Paul said, getting more and more upset. “This is ridiculous. Blaine, explain to him, please. What's wrong with you?”

“I've had enough of this shit,” Cooper muttered and grabbed Paul's elbow. “Look, you're very funny, coming here and making my brother uncomfortable with your weird jokes, har har, but you should probably stop talking and leave now.” Cooper's blue eyes fastened on something, and he spun Paul around and pointed. “See? That's Paul, my brother's boyfriend.”

His words were enough to make Blaine react with horror. “Shit, shit, shit!” He grabbed Paul's other arm to tug him out of the room, in the opposite direction from Kurt, who had been just stopped by his mother to be introduced to one of her friends.

They made it out to the deck, dimly lit in contrast to the brightly illuminated party. It was quite chilly outside, or maybe the shivers climbing up Blaine's spine had more to do with dread.

Paul was grumbling in protest and running his hands down his suit to straighten it. “What kind of manners are those? What the hell is wrong with you tonight?”

“What's wrong with me?” Blaine stage whispered in outrage, finally finding his words, but still hoping to avoid anyone's notice. “What are you doing here?”

You invited me,” Paul replied drily, rolling his eyes. “Seriously, sweet cheeks, this is ridiculous. Are you okay?”

“Don't call me that,” Blaine said brusquely, running his fingers through his hair, not caring he was messing it up. “And don't talk to me as if I was the crazy one here. I invited you when we were together. Then you broke up with me, remember?”

“Well… that was just a little misunderstanding…” Paul muttered sheepishly.

“Misunderstanding?” Blaine repeated in almost a squeal. “How can you say that was a misunderstanding? You walked out on me! You told me it wasn't working out, you told me our relationship wasn't what you wanted, and I distinctively remember you telling me I was clingy!”

“I hate to interrupt this fascinating discussion, but…” Cooper said from behind them, startling Blaine and making him jump a foot in the air. He hadn't even realized he had come out to the deck with them. “I would like to know what the hell is going on here.”

“Cooper, please just go inside,” Blaine murmured, already feeling the telltale signs of a tension headache spreading from his temples.

“I'm not leaving you alone with this guy until I know who he is and why he's here…” Cooper replied stubbornly, taking a few steps closer to them as if to prove he wasn't going anywhere.

“I told you! I'm his boyfriend!” Paul exclaimed impatiently, throwing his arms in the air.

“If you are his boyfriend, then who the hell is the other Paul who's been living with us for a week?” Cooper asked and Blaine wanted to punch him in the face just to make him shut up.

“Cooper, go inside,” Blaine insisted, glaring at him, before turning back to Paul. “And you…”

“Wait, what? You brought some other guy?” Paul was glaring back at him, finally catching up with what Cooper had been trying to say.

Blaine was sure his system was flooding with adrenalin, because this confrontation with his ex was threatening the very foundations of his world. His hazel eyes were on fire as he looked at his ex-boyfriend. “You had every right to ask questions three weeks ago, but now you've lost it. You are the one who decided to break up with me. You are the one who said this wasn't what you wanted. You are the one who said I was suffocating you!”

Paul sighed and ran a hand through his shiny blonde hair. “Listen, Blaine. I was stressed and I made a mistake. And I'm pretty sure I never used the word suffocate.”

Blaine laughed bitterly. “Oh, but you know exactly which words you did use, don't you? You think you can callously break my heart, and then walk into my parents' house afterward and pretend that nothing happened? The least you can do is take responsibility for what you did to me with what you said!”

“Well you know, Blaine, I'm trying to apologize, but you're not making it very easy!” Paul exclaimed, putting his hands on his hips in frustration. “I'm telling you I know now that I made a mistake…” He laughed, too, humorlessly. “But you clearly don't give a fuck about that, do you? I mean, it sure didn't take you long to replace me! Or were you already cheating on me and now you're just playing the victim card?”

“I have never cheated on you, or on anyone else in my whole life!” Blaine answered, fuming. “Don't you dare accuse me of infidelity when the reason you broke up with me was because apparently I was more invested in our relationship than you ever were!”

“You know, considering you're saying I broke your heart, you don't really seem that upset about losing me,” Paul replied, in a cold, harsh voice. “We broke up three weeks ago, but you've already been here with your new boyfriend for a week. So don't you dare get all sensitive if I ask you if you cheated on me. What am I supposed to believe?”

“I don't care if you believe me or not. Who I'm with is none of your damn business anymore…” Blaine just wanted this to be over. Why couldn't Paul just leave? Why did he even show up? “Just… why are you here, Paul? If you wanted to make things right with me, why did you have to come here and cause a big scene?”

“I knew you didn't want to come to this party by yourself,” Paul shrugged. “I thought you'd appreciate it if I joined you here. But clearly, I wasn't expecting to have already been replaced…”

“Wait…” Cooper interrupted once again, and Blaine wanted to scream at him for not disappearing. “So this is really Paul? This is your boyfriend?”

“Yes,” Paul answered at the same time Blaine clarified: “Ex-boyfriend.”

“Then who the fuck is the other Paul?” Cooper asked, exasperated and losing his patience.

“Did you really bring some random guy to meet your parents and say it was me?” There was a mixture of indignation and anger in Paul's voice now, and Blaine was about to explode. How could this be happening to him?

But he knew exactly how this was happening to him. He'd known since the very beginning that eventually his lie would turn karma against him. He just hadn't anticipated it happening at the worst possible moment for everyone.

“You broke up with me, made me feel like crap, and now just dropped at my parents' anniversary party out of nowhere?” Blaine said, getting angrier every second and feeling trapped. He wanted to explain why he had brought Kurt here, he really did, but not like this. “Tell me why you're really here and don't give me any shitty half-assed excuses. I know you, remember?”

It seemed like Paul didn't appreciate being put on the spot like that, because his face turned carmine red in fury. “Fine! I lost my job and I can't afford to pay the rent for my apartment, so I thought maybe if we gave our relationship another shot, maybe I could move in with you! And I know that doesn't make me a very nice person, but I'm a little desperate, okay? And I do like you, Blaine. You're just… so needy, so…”

“Clingy?” Blaine interrupted. His body felt like a volcano and he was so close to erupting, he could feel the wrath and humiliation coursing through his veins like lava. “Why is it that caring about someone is so underrated? Why is it that you can't see that I wasn't trying to suffocate you, I was just showing you my love? Am I supposed to change who I am just so I can be the kind of person you could possibly fall in love with? I am who I am, Paul! I have flaws, like everyone else, but the way I care for someone and the way I love them, isn't one of them! And if you were too blind to appreciate it, well, it sucks for you! But I'm not going to be the victim who sits around and waits for you to need him! A week ago, I would've gladly taken you back, because I was stupid enough to think I wanted you, too. But not now. Not today and not ever.”

“Is it because of him?” Paul asked, clenching his fists by his sides, evidently unhappy with how things were going. “Because of that guy? Who the hell is he anyway? You say you didn't cheat on me, but you sure as hell found someone to comfort you very quickly!”

“It's none of your business who he is!” Blaine replied impatiently. God, why couldn't Paul just get lost?

“You wouldn't say that if you didn't have something to hide! You lied to your family about him and you used my name, so I think that makes it my business!” Paul continued. The guilt his words inspired felt like he was poking Blaine with something sharp. He needed Paul to get out of there as soon as possible, before this exposure spread to more people. “Maybe you're not a cheater, but you sure as hell are a liar! You're hiding something, Blaine! What is it, huh? What are you so worried about? Is he a random pick-up from a bar? Or an old friend doing you a favor? Or is he just some slut you gave a few bucks to so he could play the part?”

“Yes!” Blaine finally exploded, to make him fucking shut up. His head was pounding and with every word Paul said, it felt like the buzzing in his ears grew louder and louder, as his vision turned redder and redder. The pressure he had been feeling during the past few days snapped and Blaine felt the lie explode in his face. The words left him before he could even think what he was saying. “Yes! Yes, I'm paying him to be here! I was embarrassed to be coming here without my boyfriend; I was embarrassed about getting dumped again, about telling my family that I'm not even good enough for an idiot like you, and I didn't want them to know what kind of jerks I fall for, so I hired a prostitute and asked him to pretend to be my boyfriend! That's what I did, and that's the truth! Are you happy now?!”

Paul had stopped talking abruptly when Blaine interrupted, and he watched him all through violent outburst, gaping incredulously at his confession. He knew Blaine, well enough to know he wasn't the kind of guy to do something like this. Blaine could see the disapproval in his eyes – and that was exactly why Blaine had been so scared of someone finding out about his ill-advised ruse. He absolutely dreaded disapproval, even from people he didn't care about anymore.

Not wanting to see that condemnation for another second, Blaine turned to Cooper, suddenly remembering his brother was still there, and heard every word. He knew Cooper's reaction wouldn't be exactly positive, but he was his family, he would understand his motives, even if it took a while. Blaine could always count on his brother.

But Cooper's eyes didn't meet his. Instead, they were fixed behind Blaine, near the French doors that separated them from the party inside. Cooper's lips trembled in a sad, sympathetic smile, and Blaine's heart lurched, knowing there was someone else who had overheard his outburst. He turned to see who it was that had caught his brother's attention.

Kurt was standing by the open doors. And from the shocked and heartbroken look on his face, he had heard every word of Blaine's tirade. Blaine could swear he could see the shine of barely held back tears swimming in his blue eyes.

“Huh,” Paul said from behind Blaine, and the other three glanced at him. “He fooled me. Apparently, if you put a whore in the right clothes, he can almost pass as refined…”

“Paul, don't you fucking dare…” Blaine spat, furiously, pointing at him with a warning in his gaze.

“What? You've just admitted he was a slut yourself, didn't you?” Paul asked with a mocking edge in his voice. “And just look at him – he knows it, too.”

Blaine decided that ignoring Paul was the best thing to do, and walked to Kurt instead, desperate to erase that look of hurt that was tainting his beautiful face. He reached for his hand, but Kurt clenched it in a fist and pulled it away from him, as if just the whisper of Blaine's touch could burn him.

“Kurt, please,” Blaine murmured. “You know that I would never…”

“It's not like it would be a lie. That's exactly what I am; that's why you chose me to bring here…” Kurt replied, his words sharp and biting. “You didn't need to act like a goddamn Disney prince for me. You didn't need to pretend to care about me – you paid me well, so that would have been enough for me to let you fuck me. That's all it takes, remember? I've been with too many horrible men, but you're the only one who made empty promises. And that makes you the worst of them all.”

“No, Kurt,” Blaine pleaded. It felt as if a deep, dark hole was opening in his chest. “This is all a mistake. Please, you must know that I wasn't pretending…”

But Kurt's protective shields were up again and the sweet, fragile broken man Blaine had barely managed to glimpse in the past few days was gone. No matter what he said now, Kurt wouldn't listen, because Blaine's betrayal had turned him back into stone.

“This is ridiculous,” Paul huffed, with a dismissive gesture. “He's a goddamn prostitute! Why do you even care if he heard us or not? You don't need to apologize to this hooker!”

“What the fuck do you think he is? He's not an insensitive thing, he's a person! And he's right here! Don't talk to him like that!” Blaine was losing his mind, realizing this situation had quickly gone wildly out of control, that there was no way to stop this disaster from happening, now that the dam had broken. It was like trying to stop the leaks with his hands, but no matter what he did, how much he fought to keep this lie from shattering, it slipped through his fingers.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Paul laughed, shaking his head, incredulously. “Don't tell me! So all it took was for him to spread his legs for you, and you feel for him? I knew you were needy, Blaine, but this is a whole new level of pathetic…”

Blaine wasn't a violent person – he was a kindergarten teacher, for god's sake. He didn't even swear very often. But now, as he took a step closer to Paul, all he could think about was making him shut his mouth; even if he had to ram his fist down his throat to do it.

But before Blaine could get close enough, Paul was stumbling backwards after Cooper punched him in the face, cradling his jaw and looking at the older Anderson brother in disbelief.

“God, I can't believe you ever dated this asshole,” Cooper rolled his eyes as he made sure his suit was still impeccable. “What were you even thinking?”

“I really don't know. I was blind, obviously,” Blaine said bitterly, looking at Paul in regret. Had he really ever been in love with him? He couldn't understand what he had ever seen in him now. There wasn't anything loveable or even decent about him in this moment – and that's when Blaine realized he had really moved on, and that he was, in fact, completely in love with someone else. Someone who really deserved his devotion. And he needed to tell him that right away, to soothe away the hurt he had inflicted in his anger. “Kurt, I…”

However, when he turned back to where Kurt had been standing only a minute ago, he found him gone.

“You go get Kurt, Paul, or whatever his name is,” Cooper said, as he grabbed the real Paul by the elbow and yanked him towards the garage's back door. “I don't care what he is or how he came into your life – if the permanent smile on your face whenever you're around him is genuine, then you shouldn't let him go.” He ignored Paul's sputtered protests as he forced him to move. “I'll take out the trash.”

Even though he had no time for it now, Blaine was suddenly flooded with love for his brother. Cooper could be a self-centered idiot most of the time, but when it really mattered, Blaine had always been able to count on him. But he didn't have time for brotherly demonstrations of love right now, so he simply smiled at him gratefully and rushed back into the house in search of Kurt to beg his forgiveness.

He didn't even make it ten steps into the living room before he was stopped with a hand on his arm, confronted by his mother's concerned face in front of him.

“Darling, what's wrong? We heard some raised voices and then I saw Paul run up the stairs,” she said. “Did you argue? Is he okay?”

“Mom, I swear I'll explain later, but I can't talk right now,” Blaine replied, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek to calm her down. “Enjoy your party. Everything's gonna be fine.”

He didn't give her time to ask him any more questions. He needed to find him and set this right, before he barricaded himself behind those walls again and refused to listen to him explain how true his feelings were.

He ran straight up the stairs to his bedroom, his heart pounding in his chest. Everything would be alright again between them soon. In less than a minute, he'd be holding Kurt in his arms and telling him how much he loved him, and apologizing for exploding out there in the deck, for letting Paul get to him. He had known Kurt didn't want his family to know what kind of job he had, and he had practically shouted it for everyone to hear. It had been a miracle no one at the party had heard more than a vague disturbance.

“Kurt! Kurt, please listen, I need to…” He opened his bedroom door, but the room was empty. Kurt wasn't there. He immediately checked the bathroom, only to find it just as empty. “Kurt, where are you? Come on, just let me…”

His eyes fell on the familiar, slightly wrinkled white envelope of money resting against the pillows on the bed, and Cooper's blue suit hastily dropped next to it, with the gorgeous silk tie that had enhanced Kurt's beautiful eyes. Blaine's gaze went from that to noticing the absence of Kurt's duffel bag… to instant heartbreak.

He walked to the bed, and slowly picked up the envelope. He flipped it over to look on both sides, hoping for a note, some link to the man he had fallen for. All he found was the tidy sheaf of bills still fresh from the ATM, that he had given Kurt that first day outside of Starbucks, before all of this had started. He let it fall back on the bed before rushing out the room, back down the stairs and out the front door, breathless and desperate as he scanned the streets, hoping for a sign of the man he had held in his arms barely twenty minutes ago. Kurt had vanished completely into the night, with one more heartbreak to add to his already long list of scars.

“No,” Blaine whispered to himself as the ache inside of him grew into unbearable pain. “No! I promised. I promised I wouldn't hurt him. I promised…”

He ran down the street. He couldn't have gone far – there hadn't been enough time for Kurt to just completely disappear like that. He had to be somewhere and he had to find him…

But there was no one there. The streets were empty except for the occasional cars or passersby walking their dogs. Blaine had trouble breathing – he hadn't meant to; he had never wanted to break Kurt's heart. They were going to talk to his family the next day and go back to Columbus together. Kurt's life was going to transform into something wonderful – Blaine was going to make him happy, no matter what it took. Kurt couldn't be gone; this couldn't have happened. There had to be a mistake, or maybe it was a nightmare.

Blaine stood in the middle of a dark street, looking around helplessly, unable to believe that his hopes for he and Kurt to be together were over.

“Kurt!” He called, and prayed for a response.

The quiet, suburban street in Westerville remained silent; so silent, that Blaine would've sworn he could hear the sound of his heart breaking into a thousand pieces.

 

 


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