One of the things Kurt loved more about his brother was that Finn knew when not to ask any questions.

Kurt walked up to him after he left the conference room and said “I want to go to Ohio.”

It only took two seconds for Finn to nod his head in agreement. “Okay. When are we leaving?”

He only asked the right questions.

They went back to Finn’s apartment and packed a bag. Kurt didn’t have much to pack, really, since everything was back at his own apartment, and he didn’t feel like going there for the time being. He decided he would buy whatever he needed at whatever store he could find in Lima. More than clothes, what he needed right now was to get out of here.

While he had been away at the ranch, somehow he had believed that all the answers he was looking for had been waiting for him right here in New York. Now he realized he was wrong: he needed to go back to his roots. He needed to put everything else behind him.

Finn had suggested looking at flights online before they left, but Kurt said he wanted to go by train. Back when he had been a struggling student with barely any money to spend on trips back home, he had always taken the train. He remembered his father standing on the platform, waiting for him with his hands in his jeans pocket, and smiling widely as soon as he saw his son.

He knew there wouldn’t be anyone waiting for him on that platform this time, but it still felt like that was what Kurt needed to do.

It was a sunny day. Finn brought along a bag of unhealthy snacks and put it on the seat between them. They stretched their legs as much as they could and nibbled on chocolates and cookies as they watched the scenery change outside the window. New York was left behind, and so were Kurt’s problems.

Or so he hoped, at least.

Once the city was far behind them, Kurt asked Finn to tell him all about what had happened with him while he had been away in Maryland. Finn spoke in a soft voice, about the games and the practices, about the fear of something happening to Kurt, about Rachel. And when he talked about Rachel, his voice became so reverent, so full of admiration, that Kurt realized he had not been the only one who had fallen in love despite the circumstances.

Kurt could feel Finn’s curiosity coming out of him in waves. It was obvious his brother also wanted to know about everything that had happened in the ranch. But Kurt wasn’t ready to talk about it, not yet at least, and Finn always respected that. Kurt wanted to tell him, but it felt like now was not the time for it. Not when the day was so beautiful and his belly was full of sugar.

It seemed surreal that after what felt like such a long nightmare, a day as bright as this could exist.

*

Kurt and Finn hadn’t been in Ohio in a long time. They hadn’t found enough reasons to go back since their parents had died. Somehow, Kurt expected to see Lima and not recognize it, to discover it had moved on without the Hummel-Hudsons. However, as he stood right in the center of town, he wondered if Lima existed in an alternative universe where nothing ever changed. The stores were the same, people’s faces looked familiar even if Kurt had no idea what their names were, the neighbors’ garden still had the same rosebushes they’ve had since Kurt was a kid.

Nothing had changed, and yet the two men who had just stepped out of a train from New York City couldn’t be any more different from the two boys who had once lived there.

When Burt and Carole had died, they hadn’t known what to do with the house. Should they sell it? Should they rent it? In the end, they decided to keep it. It probably wasn’t the smartest decision, but today Kurt was glad for it. They opened the door and it was like falling into a rabbit hole: time disappeared, heartache didn’t exist. He was still Kurt Hummel, the same boy who had laughed, dreamed and breathed in this very house.

It took a longer glance to realize just how empty it looked.

“It’s been a while,” Finn whispered, and Kurt knew he was noticing the same thing.

Kurt thought back to the second room at the ranch, the one Blaine had kept closed and unused. This house looked exactly like it: like it had been a perfect place to make memories, but now they were all covered in dust and sadness.

Kurt walked into the living room. Everything was just as he remembered it. He took a seat on his dad’s favorite armchair and closed his eyes. The old leather still smelled like him, despite the years and the absence.

Finn watched him from the archway. “I’ll go leave the bags in our rooms. Maybe we can go get something to eat afterwards? I’m starving.”

Kurt nodded. He knew when Finn was trying to give him some space, and he appreciated it. “Alright. Sounds like a plan.”

He heard Finn’s steps as he retreated up the stairs. Then the house fell silent, as if no one was there. This had been home, still was in many ways. The place where Kurt had been happy, where he had cried, where he had sang, where he had learned what love was. The place where he had grieved.

And hopefully, this would also be the place where he would heal.

*

The next time Blaine woke up, he felt his head was a lot clearer. The anesthesia had finally worn off, and with that, he could also feel the pain. He groaned in discomfort and tried to sit up.

“Ah, no. Stay exactly where you are,” Santana said, appearing before him. “You’re not getting out of that bed.”

“I think I need to pee,” Blaine muttered.

“I’ll get a nurse and they can help you with that. Do you want me to request a handsome male nurse?” Santana asked, winking saucily at him.

Blaine did his best to look exasperated and rolled his eyes at her. “No, thank you. I’m fine.”

“You look in pain,” Santana replied, sobering slightly. Blaine could see how worried she truly was. “You really should stay in bed.”

Sighing, Blaine desisted. He would attempt to get up when she wasn’t looking. “It’s not that bad. Remember when I got shot that one time? That was more painful.”

“Don’t remind me,” Santana huffed. “You bled all over my favorite blouse.”

They smiled. Teasing each other made them feel like nothing had ever gone wrong.

“So, what happened?” Blaine asked at last. “Did you guys catch the bastard?”

Santana frowned at sat on the chair by the bed. “You don’t remember anything?”

“A little. Details are sort of… fuzzy,” Blaine admitted.

“Well, we did catch him. But he was dead,” Santana said carefully. “Hummel shot him.”

“What?” Blaine moved so suddenly his chest throbbed in pain. He hissed.

“Hey, easy there,” Santana put a hand on his good shoulder and pushed him back against the pillows. “If you don’t behave, your doctor is going to kick me out of here. So be silent and don’t move.”

Blaine took a deep breath, closed his eyes. If he focused hard enough, he remembered. The sound of the shot, the killer falling off him, Kurt’s teary eyes looking down at him…

“Oh, Kurt… he must have felt so…” He couldn’t even figure out what Kurt must have been feeling. “I should have…”

“Do not start, Anderson. You did exactly what you had to do, and I’m so damn glad Hummel was there to help you,” Santana said fiercely. “Plus, I haven’t even told you the juiciest details yet.”

Blaine blinked in surprise. “You mean there’s more?”

“The killer was Hart’s brother.”

It took a few seconds for Blaine to process the information. He couldn’t believe it. Suddenly all the pieces fell into place, and everything made sense. “Tell me everything.”

Santana was a great storyteller, especially when she had a good role in the story. She spared no details in telling him exactly how she had discovered Hart, how she had made him confess, and then requested a helicopter to go in his and Kurt’s aid. It was like something right out of a movie.

“I can’t believe he would betray us like that…” He mumbled when she was done.

“No one could believe it. He was always a great agent. I still don’t understand what happened,” Santana admitted. She then watched Blaine quietly for a few seconds, as Blaine mulled over the information he had just received. “Are you going to tell me what happened at the ranch or will I have to keep filling the blanks myself?”

The ranch felt so far away now, as Blaine laid on a hospital bed. The brief happiness he had felt on that last day, as he and Kurt forgot completely about the rest of the world had been so rare and precious. He wasn’t sure it was supposed to be shared, spoken about. It seemed fragile: it would come apart like a sand castle in the rain if he didn’t take care of it.

“It’s fine, I think I know without you telling me anyway,” Santana shrugged, giving him a way out.

“You do?” Blaine should have been surprised, but he really wasn’t. Santana knew him better than anyone.

“Well, Hummel was wearing your shirt when we found you, the first thing you asked about when you woke up from surgery was him, and he’s been a pain in the ass since we got here, so…” Santana made it sound like it annoyed her, but she seemed pleased. “I think he feels the same.”

Blaine sighed. “I hope he does,” he admitted quietly, almost shyly. When he couldn’t take Santana’s intent gaze anymore, he asked: “Where is he now? Is he here?”

“No, actually,” she answered. “He called me earlier today to tell me he was going to Ohio with his brother.”

Blaine’s chest flared with pain again, but this time it didn’t have anything to do with his injury. “Oh, really?”

Santana gave him a little smile. “Don’t worry. I’m sure he’ll be back soon. He just needed some time, you know. This was a traumatic experience for him.”

Blaine cleared his throat. He didn’t want to show how disappointed he was, but he knew he was failing. “It’s good, that he went. He needs to put some distance between him and… and what happened. He needs to forget."

Santana’s phone started ringing in her pocket, which Blaine was grateful for, because he was sure she was about to say something he didn’t want to hear. She excused herself when she saw it was Brittany calling, and got up to leave the room and have some privacy.

“Hey honey! Yes, he’s awake. Oh, I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to see you!”

Blaine shifted uncomfortably on the bed. He knew it was silly of him to expect Kurt to want something with him now that it was all over: why would Kurt want a constant reminder of all the bad things that had happened to him? Blaine told himself that he needed to be glad and relieved that Kurt was alright. That was, after all, what truly mattered.

*

Kurt kneeled on the grass and put the bouquet of daisies down in front of his father’s gravestone.

He felt bad. He hadn’t come back to visit him in too long. When Carole had died, both he and Finn considered moving their parents to a cemetery in New York, but they knew it wasn’t about their own comfort: it was about where their parents belonged. Burt and Carole had lived their whole lives in Ohio. It had always been home to them. It was only logical to let them stay there.

“We should come back more often,” Finn whispered softly, as he arranged his own bouquet in front of his mother’s grave.

“We should,” Kurt said.

They sat there in silence for a while. Kurt placed his hand on the granite, and slowly traced the letters of his dad’s name. It was cool to the touch.

After a couple of minutes, Finn cleared his throat and stood up. Kurt watched him walk away towards a bench. Finn always had a hard time here. It still seemed crazy to both of them that every time they wanted to visit their parents, they had to come to a cemetery. It was unthinkable that they would never hear their voices or hug them again. It had been years since they had lost them, and still Kurt and Finn couldn’t get used to not having them in their lives.

“I’m glad you didn’t have to worry your way through the past few weeks,” Kurt murmured softly. “It would have killed you to know what I was going through. But, at the same time, I never needed you this much, Dad. I would give anything to have you back.”

He thought back to his conversation with Blaine out in the porch, about how sometimes it was nice to believe in something.

“You know, if you’re the one who sent Blaine to take care of me, you did a great job, Dad,” Kurt chuckled as some tears spilled down his cheeks. He wiped them away. “A guardian angel with a gun.”

The sound of the gunshot resounded in his head for the millionth time since he had pulled the trigger. He closed his eyes, nauseated. He had done the right thing, but the right thing came with consequences.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever forget what I did, if I’ll accept it and move on…” Kurt said, running his fingers over the flower petals delicately. “But he saved my life and I saved his. I have to believe that sometimes doing something horrible is exactly the best thing to do.”

He looked over his shoulder. Finn was still sitting on the bench, waiting for him.

“I love you, Dad.”

Kurt stayed there for a moment, closing his eyes and trying to pretend he could feel his father’s arms around him. But he could only feel the soft breeze that barely shook the trees’ branches, and when he opened his eyes, he was still kneeling in front of a gravestone.

He heard steps behind him.

“Ready to go?” Finn asked.

Kurt traced his the letters on the gravestone one last time with careful fingers. Burt Hummel. “I’m ready.”

They walked out of the cemetery side by side. Kurt wondered if maybe the next time he came over to visit them, Blaine would be with him.

His brother threw an arm around his shoulders and pulled him a little closer as they walked. Kurt gladly accepted the comfort, and leaned closer.

“I’m really glad you’re my brother, Finn,” Kurt said, because he knew he didn’t say it often enough.

He could see Finn’s little crooked smile from the corner of his eye. “I’m really glad you’re my brother, Kurt.”

*

That night, after dinner, Finn and Kurt sat outside in the backyard, and Kurt told Finn everything about the past few weeks. He described the ranch, the animals, the boredom and the desperation, the isolation and the fear that something might happen to Finn. He told him about Manuel, about his kindness, about his life working at the ranch and raising a beautiful family. He told him about using his time away to start working on his own musical, about how he truly believed he could finish it and make it happen someday. He told him about Blaine, about his silences, his losses, his sweetness. He told him about falling in love with him so gradually, like it was so natural and logical, like there couldn’t have ended any other way.

He told him he killed Victor Hart.

With shaking hands, Kurt told Finn about the sheer terror he had felt when the killer drove the knife into Blaine’s chest, when he saw Blaine’s blood spilling down his shirt. He recalled seeing the gun on the grass, not thinking at all, just knowing he had to do something. His finger was on the trigger before he even realized what he was about to do, before he could even think of how he had never even held a gun before - what if he shot Blaine instead? -, and then he just did it. He shot him.

“I didn’t even think of what that meant until we got to the hospital a while later and they took Blaine away from me,” Kurt said. “When I finally had time to think… I just… I killed someone, Finn.”

“I’m glad you did,” Finn murmured in a low voice. Kurt turned abruptly to look at him, not expecting that answer. “I’m sorry for what you’ve been through, but I’m glad you reacted that way. Kurt, this man would have killed both you and Blaine without a second hesitation. You did what you had to do, both for you and for Blaine. I understand that you will have to live with this now, for the rest of your life… but I can’t tell you I’m not glad you did it, because you had the balls to do what it took to survive. And god, Kurt, I’m just happy and relieved that you’re okay.”

Kurt sighed. “I know. I know you’re right. It was self-defense. But I still… I have nightmares. I hear the gunshot in my head. I see his blood spreading on the grass. It’s not pleasant. But yeah… I… it was Blaine’s life or his. It was my life or his.”

They didn’t say anything for a few seconds, processing. Kurt was tired, so tired. It felt like he hadn’t slept in years. But he also dreaded going to bed. He didn’t want to close his eyes and see it all over again.

“So what are you going to do now?” Finn asked at last.

Kurt had actually had time to think about that. “I want to find a new apartment. I don’t think I can go back to my old one. Hart was there, his horrible creepy little heart must still be painted over my bed and I don’t want to have to live somewhere that doesn’t make me feel safe anymore.”

“You can stay with me while you look for a new place,” Finn immediately offered. “I have that extra room, and I think it’d be nice for you to have some company for a while, if you’d like that.”

“Are you sure?” Kurt asked, although it sounded perfect.

“Sure. If you have trouble sleeping we can stay up having ice-cream and watching bad reality television,” Finn shrugged, and Kurt smiled at him. “I’ll help you find an apartment where you’ll feel comfortable. But in the meantime… just stay with me.”

“Okay, one less thing to worry about,” Kurt replied. “Thanks, Finn.”

“No problem, bro,” Finn smiled. “What else?”

“Uhm, well… I need to go back to work,” Kurt said, checking his mental to-do list. “It’ll take a while to figure out what I want to do about my own musical, and I need to work in the meantime. I think I should just stay where I am for a little while, if they’ll have me after missing so many days.”

“I’m pretty sure Captain Jones sent someone over to the theatre to explain your situation once you and Blaine left for Maryland,” Finn explained. “So that should be okay.”

“Oh, that’s fantastic, I didn’t know,” Kurt sighed in relief. He had been away for weeks, and he had no idea how much of his life was still waiting for him to return. That had been one of the most terrifying aspects of his sudden escape to Maryland: what if his own life couldn’t wait for him?

Finn cleared his throat and purposefully avoided looking Kurt in the eyes. “Anything else?”

Finn wasn’t subtle. He had never been subtle. Kurt knew exactly what he was talking about.

“Well, hopefully once Blaine is out of the hospital…”

“Yes! That’s what I wanted to hear!” Finn exclaimed, fist-bumping the air.

“You didn’t let me finish,” Kurt protested, rolling his eyes.

“You’re in love with him, dude. You should have told him before we came here,” Finn retorted. “We’ll develop some sort of dating-system-code thing once we’re back in New York.”

“Why? Are you expecting to date anyone any time soon?” Kurt asked. He could be just as obvious and obnoxious as his brother if he wanted to.

Finn was suddenly very interested in his own shoes. “Well, now that you mention it…”

“Agent Berry, huh?” Kurt said, and Finn gasped in shock.

“How did you know?!”

“Finn, anyone could see how much you like her. And I’m pretty sure she likes you too.”

Finn seemed truly surprised that he hadn’t been incredibly mysterious and enigmatic.

They stayed out there in the backyard a little while longer, lost in thought. Both had a lot to think about. It was a beautiful night to figure things out: the sky was clear, the stars sparkled beautifully, and suddenly their whole lives seemed to expand before them. There were no threats, no reasons to be afraid, nothing to escape from. They just had to move on and move forward.

At last, Finn patted his knee and stood up. “I’m going to bed. Let me know if you need anything?”

“Sure, thanks, Finn,” Kurt smiled up at his brother and watched him walk into the house. Without him here, the silence seemed to grow wider.

Kurt toyed with his cellphone. It had been returned to him at the bureau. Before all of this happened, he was rarely without it, but in the ranch, it had become less and less necessary with each passing day. The only person he would have liked to call while he was there was Finn. The only person he wanted to talk to know was the last number he had called before he had to leave New York.

It was saved under Agent Anderson.

Kurt took a deep breath and made the call.

*

Blaine was dozing off. It had been a very long day. Santana and Brittany had stayed with him until a few minutes ago, when he had kicked them out and told them to go home. Brittany had brought a pic-nic basket, complaining that hospital food wouldn’t help Blaine recover and that Santana always forgot to eat when she was under stress. He had watched them bicker all afternoon: Santana kept going on and on about how Brittany shouldn’t have been carrying heavy things, and Brittany crossed her arms over her chest in irritation and reminded her wife that she was pregnant, but that she wasn’t useless.

It had given Blaine a headache.

Mercedes, Sam, and some other people from the bureau had stopped by to see how he was doing. Rachel had stayed for a couple of hours, fluffing his pillow and reading magazines aloud to him, until he politely asked her to stop because he didn’t care about Brad Pitt’s latest relationship scandal. His mother had called, and he had to assure her over and over again that he would be okay, that she didn’t need to get on a plane to see him. Doctors and nurses had come and gone all day long, and Blaine was suddenly sick of talking to people, of answering questions, of being the center of attention.

He just wanted to sleep.

He was on the verge of consciousness when his phone began to buzz insistently. With a groan, he reached for it on the bedside table. He blinked at the unknown number and considered not answering, but he was worried it was important.

“Hello?”

“Oh!” The voice on the other end exclaimed. He recognized it immediately. “Oh, my god, you were sleeping. I’m so sorry…”

“Kurt,” Blaine murmured, and he was suddenly awake, so awake.

“Hi. I’m sorry to call now, it’s just…” Kurt paused, and Blaine didn’t say anything, just content with hearing his soft breaths on the other end. “I wanted to know how you’re doing.”

“I’m better, really, don’t worry about me,” Blaine answered. His head felt heavy with all the questions he wanted to ask him.

“Are you in any pain?” Kurt asked, sounding truly concerned.

“Only a little, but they have some amazing things here called painkillers,” Blaine said, causing Kurt to chuckle softly. “How are you, Kurt? Santana filled me in on what happened. I don’t remember much…”

“I feel a little weird, to be honest. I have a lot to think about, but… I think I’ll be fine,” Kurt explained. “I’m actually in Ohio. I… well, Finn and I came to visit our parents.”

Blaine understood now. Kurt had gone home, not to get away from him, but because he was looking for the kind of comfort that he could only find there. He was not running away. “I know. Santana said you called. How’s Finn?”

“He’s fine, glad I’m back. It’s been nice to sit down and talk to him. I really needed my brother,” Kurt said, and then he took a deep breath, as if bracing himself for something. “I miss you like crazy, though.”

Blaine’s heart skipped a beat in his chest. He was afraid his monitor would go off and alert the nurses. “I miss you, too. Do you know when you’ll be back?”

“Just a couple more days. We both have a lot of things to do in New York, but we needed to escape for a little while,” Kurt replied. “I’m sorry I’m not there. I should be there… I didn’t think when we took off, but I…”

“Kurt, please, don’t feel bad. Just promise you’ll come see me the second you come back and we’ll be fine,” Blaine teased, secretly hoping Kurt would comply.

“Deal.”

They both paused. The silent was suddenly charged with all the things they wanted to say, but that neither wanted to say over the phone. Blaine felt as if electricity was coursing through him. He wanted to get out of bed and run around the hospital to burn all the energy that unexpectedly filled him.

“Kurt?” Blaine muttered quietly.

“Yeah?” Kurt sounded breathless.

“Thank you for saving my life,” he said, and his words sounded raw - he was bearing his soul for Kurt to see, and hoping Kurt would want him, no matter what.

“Thank you for saving mine,” Kurt replied.

God, Blaine wished Ohio wasn’t so far away.

“I’ll see you soon?” Blaine asked, because he needed the confirmation. He needed to know that soon he would be able to put his arms around Kurt, to feel his heart beating against his own.

“Soon,” Kurt said it like a promise.

Blaine fell asleep with the sound of Kurt’s breathing and his heart full of hope.

*