There they were on a gorgeous, green hillside, just the two of them, surrounded by lilacs and the smell of the ocean, even though Kurt couldn't see any ocean. Not that this mattered to him very much, because Carson was there, looking at him adoringly and smiling as he held out his hand. There was no shaking. There were no signs of pain on his face or any trace of a lightning scar visible above the neck of his shirt. It was just Carson as Kurt had always known him before, strong and healthy and gazing at Kurt as though he was the moon and the stars. Kurt accepted the offered hand and found himself being swept into Carson's gentle embrace, their lips touching lightly as his twin held him safely in his arms.

"I love you, Kurtsie," Carson whispered in his ear.

"I know," Kurt replied. "I love you, too."

"Well, since I love you, and you love me, would you do me a favor?" asked Carson, pulling away slightly from their shared hug to look into Kurt's eyes.

Kurt nodded eagerly. "Anything, Carsey. Absolutely anything. Just name it."

"Will you be my husband?"

Kurt blinked, wanting to make sure he'd heard right. "Your...your husband?" Carson nodded, smiling shyly. Kurt grinned and pulled Carson back into the hug, squeezing tight as waves of happiness washed over him and he felt their hearts beating in time with one another.

"Of course I will, baby," he said.

"You will?" asked Carson, happiness and hope spilling out in his voice.

"Of course!" Kurt repeated. "There's no one else I would rather spend the rest of my life with. You know that." He pressed his lips against Carson's, and then suddenly everything changed. The hillside was gone, and he was laying back on a grand sized bed, large enough to get lost in, among a sea of soft, satin pillows as Carson worked his way down his body with his mouth. His twin pressed a gentle kiss every few inches to the exposed skin of Kurt's torso (wait...exposed? When did he lose the clothes? Who cares, his stubble feels so nice...), until he finally reached his target between Kurt's legs. Kurt knew somehow that this was a dream, and yet...it felt real. Like...

Really real...

His eyes opened lazily as he slowly faded back into consciousness, taking in his surroundings. He wasn't on a grassy hillside anymore, or on a humongous bed with satin pillows. It was very early morning and he was in his own bedroom, in his own bed, and, ok, he was naked from the waist down and there was definitely a warm, wet mouth on his dick right now. He looked down to see Carson settled happily between his legs, one hand gently stroking at Kurt's thigh while the other one clumsily worked what he didn't already have in his mouth. Kurt bit his lip and let out a quiet moan before he remembered that their dad was sleeping out in the living room and making a lot of noise wasn't really an option right now. Carson looked up at him from underneath his eyelashes and popped off of him, placing a tender kiss to the tip before speaking.

"Morning, sleepyhead," he whispered, his voice a little rough, and Kurt flushed at the realization that it was because of what he had just been doing. He smiled lazily down at Carson and raised one eyebrow.

"Not that I'm complaining, but what brought this on?" he asked, propping himself up on his elbows in order to see better. Carson grinned and continued stroking Kurt's thigh tenderly, drawing little circles on the skin with his finger.

"Well, I'd been up for a while, just watching you sleep. Fuck, that sounds creepy. I mean, I couldn't help but watch you sleep, you know, because you were all cuddled up next to me. And you were mumbling and making the cutest little face, and then I heard you say my name and, um...I felt a little something pressing into my leg." Carson stopped for air and gave Kurt a shy smile. "Or, I guess, a not so little something. "

Kurt snorted. "You're so cute. And then you decided you'd wake me up with a blowjob, right?"

"Right," said Carson, nodding seriously. "I've really missed tasting you. It was my favorite thing before. You...you don't mind, do you?"

Kurt shook his head emphatically. "No, Carsey. Of course not. You can feel free to wake me up this way any time you want."

Carson grinned and pressed a kiss to Kurt's stomach, and Kurt felt the scratch of his stubble against his skin, sending electric jolts of pleasure through him. Carson hadn't been able to do much in the way of shaving since he'd lost control of his coordination, and Kurt had to admit, the slight stubble his twin had grown on his face due to this was a serious turn-on. He'd had no idea he even had a facial hair kink, but he supposed there was always room to discover something new.

"Were you kissing down my chest before?" asked Kurt, remembering his dream. "Before I woke up, I mean?"

Carson smiled and nodded. "Yep."

"I could feel it," said Kurt. "In my dream. I dreamed about you doing that. It felt nice. You should definitely keep the stubble."

Carson raised his eyebrows and gave Kurt an amused look. "Oh? Does scratchy stubble turn you on?"

"You have no idea."

"You were dreaming about me, huh?" asked Carson quietly, working his way up Kurt's body to lightly suck one of his nipples into his mouth. "Good dream?"

Kurt thought about the marriage proposal on the hillside and smiled. "The best." He tossed his head back against the pillows as Carson worked on his nipple, doing his best to contain the moan he desperately wanted to release. "You planning on finishing what you started, or...?"

Carson dropped his mouth open in fake surprise. "Like I would ever leave you hanging like this?" he asked, giving Kurt's nipple one last flick with his tongue before settling back between his legs and taking his erection back into his hand. "That would just be cruel of me."

"Yeah, it wou- oh," Kurt cut himself off as Carson went back to what he had been doing before Kurt woke up. He delicately sucked at the tip, teasing him as he looked up at him with a sly look on his face, clearly pleased with himself.

"Carson," Kurt whimpered quietly, praying to all the gods he didn't even believe in that their father was still sound asleep. It's ok, Kurt, he wears earplugs because he doesn't like the sound of the traffic outside, and the police sirens. He can't hear a thing. Relax and enjoy this. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly as Carson grasped his hand, struggling to interlock their fingers until Kurt gathered his brain together and helped him. Carson took his mouth off of him only long enough to whisper "Love you" and kiss the inside of his thigh before he lowered his mouth onto Kurt's length. He took as much of him in as he could, and Kurt bit his lip hard to keep from moaning as he felt himself brush the back of Carson's throat.

Oh my god I feel like such a dick thinking this, but I'm so glad that he hasn't lost his ability to do that, because...oh shit...Carson chose that moment to hum quietly around him, and the vibrations nearly caused Kurt to pass out. "Carson, oh god," he whispered as Carson pulled slowly off of him, dragging his tongue deliciously on his way. He twirled his tongue around the sensitive ridge on the underside where Kurt's shaft met his tip, and Kurt had to press his own fist against his mouth to keep from crying out, it felt so damn good.

"Like that?" Carson asked cheekily. Kurt nodded eagerly.

"God, yes. Keep doing...fuck," Kurt moaned as quietly as he could as Carson took him back into his mouth, bobbing his head up and down as he worked Kurt over. Clearly, the lightning hadn't taken away his twin's impossibly perfect ability to give the best head ever given, and Kurt's breathing grew faster and faster as Carson brought him closer and closer to the peak of pleasure with his delightfully warm, talented mouth.

"Car...Carsey..." Kurt moaned, feeling himself on the brink of falling apart the more Carson used his mouth. Carson squeezed his hand and gave a particularly hard suck, and Kurt was gone, spilling into Carson's mouth before he could even form the words to warn him that it was going to happen. He felt Carson's throat constricting around him as he swallowed everything Kurt gave him, and the sight of him as he popped off of Kurt, his face flushed and his lips swollen and almost cherry red, would have immediately gotten Kurt hard again if he hadn't just come.

"You taste so good," Carson said, closing his eyes and licking his lips, as though it was the best thing he'd ever tasted. Kurt let out a huge breath and threw one arm over his eyes as he felt Carson cleaning him with his tongue.

"You're amazing," he breathed, and Carson let out a quiet little laugh, tucking Kurt back into his pajama pants and crawling back up the bed to cuddle beside him.

"I try," he answered as Kurt wrapped him up in his arms. "I just really love making you feel good."

"I love you so much," Kurt whispered, pressing a soft kiss to Carson's lips and moaning as he tasted himself on him. "We really should stop doing stuff like this while Dad is in the other room, though."

Carson groaned. "I know. God, I love him, I really do, but I cannot wait for him to go home. I hate having to be so quiet."

"I know, baby," said Kurt, kissing him on the forehead. "But he and I both just want to make sure you don't need him anymore before he leaves."

"I don't," said Carson stubbornly. "I don't need any help while you're at work. I'm not a baby. I can remember to take my own pills and shit, you know."

"I know, honey," said Kurt, giving him an affectionate squeeze. "But I worry. Yesterday was anything but fun for me. I couldn't concentrate on my work because I was so worried about you and how you were doing."

"I know," replied Carson. "You called me every five minutes to make sure I was still alive. Or hadn't burned the apartment down."

Kurt snorted. "I wasn't worried about that. But I was worried. I just...having you out of my sight is a very scary thing for me now, ever since...you know. I know it's stupid, but..."

He was cut off my Carson's finger on his lips, gently shushing him into silence. "Kurtsie, I know. I..." He took a deep breath and looked into Kurt's eyes as he gulped. "Um...Dad told me. About the hospital, and how...how I almost died."

Kurt sucked in a breath, letting Carson's words sink in. He'd hoped never to relive any of the horrible week that Carson was in a coma, much less the day he had died and come back to life. Damn it, Dad, why would you even tell him that? The last thing I ever wanted to happen was for him to know about that. I don't want him thinking about death while he's supposed to be getting better. Carson's eyes darkened with worry. "I'm sorry, Kurtsie," he said quietly. "But I just...I'm glad that I know now, even if I hate thinking about you worrying about me."

Kurt used one hand to brush away a stray piece of hair from Carson's forehead before cupping his face. "It was horrible, Carsey. Just...just horrible. I was already such a wreck, because when you were first struck and taken to the hospital, they took you away from me so quickly and told me to wait in the waiting room, and I just...Carsey, you have no idea how beside myself I was. They wouldn't tell me anything for hours, and all I could think about was "What if he dies? What if I have to spend the rest of my life without him?" Carson, I wasn't sure if I could do it. And then after you almost did die, I just...my heart broke. It just broke. I thought about our future and everything we'd never get the chance to do together, and I just..."

Carson placed his finger to Kurt's lips again to silence him before hugging him close, burying his face in Kurt's neck. Kurt took a shaky breath as he realized he had started crying during his speech, and struggled to calm down. It wouldn't do to get so upset. Carson shouldn't have to worry about comforting him right now, not when he was supposed to be concentrating on healing.

"I'm alive, Kurtsie," he said, his voice muffled and his breath hot against Kurt's skin. "I'm here. I didn't die, and I won't. Not for a long time, baby. Ok?"

Kurt smiled and hugged him, feeling their hearts beat against each other and thanking his lucky stars that he still had Carson in his life. "Ok. Now...how about we take turns getting showers, hmm?"

The next day was Carson's first physical therapy session at the hospital, and to say that he didn't want to go would be the understatement of the century. The last thing he felt like doing was going back to that fucking hospital and being treated like a sick person. He especially wasn't looking forward to everything he couldn't do being pointed out and highlighted by some person he didn't even know, which was probably going to make him feel even worse about himself than he already did.

He didn't dare complain in front of Kurt, though. He wanted him to go to work and concentrate on doing his best. He didn't want him to have to worry about him. At least, not any more than he was going to, anyway. Vogue needed him to be the best that he could be. They didn't need him being distracted with worrying over whether or not Carson was having a good time squeezing a stress ball or whatever. So when Kurt asked him brightly at breakfast if he was ok about going, Carson simply smiled and nodded.

"I'll be fine, Kurtsie," he insisted. "It's only for an hour, and Dad said we could go get ice cream afterwards."

Kurt frowned. "You have all the alarms set up on your phone, right? For your pills? It's really important that you take them, especially if you're going to be eating that stuff..."

"Kurtsie, it's seriously disturbing how much you've turned into me," Carson replied calmly through a mouthful of Lucky Charms. "I mean, don't get me wrong, you worrying about me makes me all tingly inside and shit, but I promise you, I'll be fine." He hid a smile as he saw Kurt blush at his comment. Oh, Kurtsie, baby. You're so adorable.

"I was just checking," said Kurt. "I know that you know your own pill schedule, I just..."

"I know, Kurtsie," said Carson, reaching across the table to pat Kurt's hand affectionately. "I have the alarms all set, and I have the pill bottles in the plastic knapsack thing you got for me. Along with every emergency number known to man, dog, and alien. And Dad will be with me the whole time. So I want you go to work and not worry your adorable little head about me, ok?" He shoveled more cereal into his mouth, proud of himself for managing the spoon without spilling one single bit of cereal onto himself. That's a first. See, Kurt? I'll be fine.

"Ok," agreed Kurt, leaning across the table to kiss Carson's forehead. "I'll call you later, and I'll see you tonight. Hey, how about we order pizza for dinner?"

"With extra pepperoni?" asked Carson hopefully. Kurt grinned.

"Sure. We'll tell them to lay it on thick," replied Kurt with a wink. Carson grinned.

"You have no idea how tempted I am to make a really inappropriate joke right now," he said, and Kurt snorted.

"Be good," he said, getting up from the table and walking around it to give Carson a hug. "Call me when your appointment is over, ok? I want to know how it went."

Carson resisted the urge to sigh and nodded. "Ok. I will." He hugged Kurt back and snuck in a quick pat on his ass, causing Kurt to jump in surprise.

"Carsey!" he whispered with a giggle.

"What?" Carson whispered back with a grin. "It's irresistible."

Kurt patted him on the head and kissed his forehead once more before grabbing his shoulder bag and heading out the door with a wave. Carson waved back and turned his attention back to his cereal, carefully trying to place the last bite in his mouth and inwardly groaning as he lost control of his hand, spilling half the milk and marshmallows down the front of his sleep shirt. Fuuuuuck. Goddammit, why can't I just have normal hands? Oh, well. At least it didn't happen in front of Kurt. That's something, I guess. He took his bowl in both hands and walked it over to the sink, shakily turning on the faucet and rinsing it out slowly while he brooded over not wanting to go to fucking physical therapy.

"Hey, kid," said his dad as he walked into the kitchen. "It's your first appointment today. You excited?"

"Thrilled," muttered Carson. "There's absolutely nothing I'm looking forward to more than going back to that hospital and having every single thing wrong with me listed with bullet points so that they can make me embarrassingly work out my hands for an hour."

Burt gave him a sympathetic smile and crossed over to him, gently taking the cereal bowl out of his hands. "Here, let me do that," he said, taking over the duty of washing it while Carson sighed loudly.

"Daaaaad, I can wash my own damn bowl!" he whined. "I'm not a baby and I'm not an invalid!"

"I know, Carson, I know," said Burt tiredly. Carson felt a little bad for him. He usually took the brunt of Carson's frustration, since Carson worked very hard at not losing his cool around Kurt. "And I know you don't want to go to your appointment, but it's necessary for you to heal. Besides, you know that it's important to your brother. He wants you to heal the most. You're the world to him, you know."

Carson swallowed. He knew, alright. "I can wash my own bowl," he repeated, for lack of anything else to say. Burt finished washing the dish and put it away, patting Carson on the shoulder.

"I'm sorry. Next time you can wash it yourself, ok?" he said. "Now, go get dressed so we can head out."

"Ok," Carson muttered, shuffling toward the bedroom glumly.

"Do you need any help, or...?"

"For god's sake, Dad, no!" Carson groaned. "I can dress myself!"

"Ok, ok. Remember, we need to leave within the hour," said Burt.

"Yeah, yeah, I know," grunted Carson, pulling the privacy curtain closed and looking with a smile at the clothes Kurt had laid out for him. There was a note on top of the clean blue hoodie in Kurt's distinctive, loopy handwriting.

Good luck today, Carsey! I would have skipped work to go with you, but I knew you would resist and drag your feet. Just know that I'll be thinking of you all day. I know you don't want to go (no matter how much you pretend otherwise), and I'm so proud of you for persevering. You're my hero, baby. I'll see you tonight, and I love you so much.

-Kurtsie xoxoxo

P.S.: CALL ME THE SECOND YOU'RE DONE WITH THERAPY! Or else!

There was an elaborate heart drawn below the words, with two little stick figures holding hands inside underneath a doodle that said "K+C." Carson smiled a huge, genuine smile as he felt his heart swell with love and pride in his brother and boyfriend.

Ok, Kurtsie. I'll try not to be TOO negative in therapy today. I'm making no promises, but I'll try my best.

He removed his pajamas and carefully began putting on the jeans, T-shirt, and hoodie that Kurt had picked out for him, sighing in frustration as he struggled with the zipper and button on the pants. Why the fuck do jeans have zippers and shit, anyway? What's wrong with velcro? I say make jeans easy for everyone. Think of all the money the manufacturers would save on stupid fucking metal. He finally managed to get the pants on, cheering quietly in victory as he put the hoodie on and carefully folded up Kurt's note, placing it into his pocket and patting it for good luck.

"Ok, Dad, I'm ready," he called, coming out of the bedroom and meeting his dad back in the kitchen. "Let's get this crap over with, shall we?"

"Aw, come on, buddy, it won't be that bad," said Burt, sliding the apartment door open for Carson. "And I did promise you ice cream after."

"Yeah...oh, where's my bag with the pills?" asked Carson, looking around frantically as he remembered. "Kurt will kill me if I don't take those with me! I promised him..."

"Relax, Carson, I've got it," said Burt, holding it up for Carson to see. "Trust me, I'm in no hurry to hear what your brother would have to say if we forgot the pills."

Carson smiled, trying to silently tell the panicked feeling in his stomach to subside. "Ok, good. Let's go."

Carson had to admit, physical therapy wasn't nearly as bad as he had made it out to be in his head, even if Allison the therapist was a little too chipper and happy for his liking.

"Good morning, Mr. Hummel!" she practically chirped as he entered the therapy room. "I'm Allison. How are we today?"

"Well, Allison, we aren't really looking forward to this," replied Carson in a monotone. "Because we are getting increasingly sick of our body betraying us, and the thought of being reminded of it for a whole hour every week isn't exactly thrilling to us, so why don't we just cut the crap and get this over with, hmm? Oh, and call me Carson, for the love of god. "Mr. Hummel" makes me feel like my dad."

Allison blinked at him, her smile never wavering for a second even if it wasn't quite reaching her eyes anymore. "Ok! Well, then, Mr...Carson...why don't we take a few minutes and you can tell me how you've been progressing so far since your accident. And then we can take it from there."

Carson sighed. "Fine. I've been mostly doing ok, except that it takes me twice as long to do most everyday things now because my coordination has gone to shit. This morning I spilled cereal on myself because I couldn't keep a handle on my spoon. And sometimes I have episodes where I can't feel my hands, or they tingle like a bitch and I have to stop everything and just wait for it to subside, and I really fucking hate that, by the way, but I don't say anything because then my brother and my dad will worry and I fucking hate people worrying about me, so I keep it to myself." He crossed his arms as he finished speaking, looking curiously at Allison to see how she would react.

Allison, who had been taking notes the entire time he was talking, looked up from her clipboard and gave him a sympathetic smile. "Well, Carson, I don't know very much about lightning strikes, but I know that you're a very lucky young man to have survived, and that most of the things you just described to me are completely normal. From looking at your medical record, the tingling should become less frequent and stop with time, and the coordination is what you're here for. My job is to help you. Pretty soon you'll be able to do all the things you used to do without any trouble. Ok?"

Carson looked down at his shoes as he traced the pattern on the rug with his foot. "Ok."

The next hour was spent doing various exercises with his hands, and although it was boring as fuck, it wasn't so bad. Carson decided he could live with having to do them every week. He was feeling happy that his hour was almost up, thinking about how he was going to call Kurt and deliver the good news, when Allison handed him a note pad and a pencil.

"Just one more exercise. Can you write something for me?" she asked sweetly. "Anything at all."

Carson glanced at the pad and back to her. "I can write."

Allison nodded. "Yes, I know, but have you tried it since coming home from the hospital?"

Carson swallowed and looked back down at the pad. Now that he thought about it, no. He hadn't tried. Oh god, I can't even hold a spoon properly! How the fuck am I supposed to hold a pencil well enough to write? What if I can never write again? Oh god, what about SCHOOL? I HAVE to be able to write, I just HAVE to! He took a deep breath, trying not to panic too soon until he knew whether or not he had to. He gingerly took the pencil in his hand, his heart sinking as he realized he was having trouble holding it the way he always had. He looked helplessly down at the paper, feeling like a complete dumbass.

"What, um...what do you want me to write?" he asked, his stomach knotting up as he realized that whatever he wrote, it wasn't going to be an easy task.

"Anything you like," Allison replied. "How about your name?"

Carson nodded, taking a deep breath and pressed the pencil to the paper. His hand shook, and he was barely able to grasp the pencil well enough to make it halfway through the letter 'C'. Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, why? Out of everything the lightning already took from me, did it have to take this too? He felt like crying, but he resisted the urge. He sure as fuck wasn't going to cry in front of a stranger. Screw that. He tried holding his writing hand with his other hand to hold it steadier, and managed to finish a slightly squiggly looking 'C.'

"I don't want to do this anymore!" he barked, throwing the pencil across the room and crossing his arms as he glared with extreme dislike at the ugly letter he had written. He hated it. It didn't look a goddamn thing like his normal handwriting, and the disappointment and frustration were churning within him. This wasn't fucking fair. Writing was the only thing in his life, besides Kurt, that he really enjoyed. And now what? He couldn't even do that right anymore. He was a complete and utter failure, and he didn't even know why the fuck Kurt should have to put up with him when he was barely even a person anymore.

"Hmmm," murmured Allison, not reacting to the throwing of the pencil as she took the pad gently away. "Ok, so writing is an issue for you right now. I'd like for you to practice it at home for a little while every night, ok? Let's see if we can't at least have you writing your name by your next appointment."

"Whatever," Carson grumbled. "Can I go now?"

Allison sighed and nodded. "Yes, you may. I'll see you next week."

"Joy," Carson muttered in response as he stalked out of the room. He saw his dad waiting out in the lobby and swallowed, wondering if he should say anything about his lost writing ability.

Better not. He'll probably say something to Kurt, and there's no fucking way that I want Kurt to know about this. I'm already half the boyfriend I was before, I don't want him to know that now I'm even less.

"Hey, kid!" said Burt brightly, getting up from his seat as he spotted Carson. "How did it go?"

"Great," Carson lied. "Just...just great. Can we go get that ice cream now?"

"Sure thing," his dad replied, leading him outside. They walked over to the nearest ice cream parlor, where Burt stood in line to order while Carson sat glumly down at a table and pulled out his phone. He had, after all, promised Kurt that he would call when his therapy appointment was over.

Ok, Carson, when he answers the phone, you have to be cool. Try to sound happy. You don't want to let on that physical therapy was a complete fucking disaster and that now you have to learn how to write your ABCs all over again like a fucking preschooler. Just act...well, not NORMAL, but...you know.

He took a deep breath and dialed Kurt's number. His twin picked up halfway through the first ring.

"Carsey!" he exclaimed, his voice beaming through the other end of the line like a ray of the brightest sunshine. "How did it go? Tell me everything!"

"Hi, Kurtsie," Carson sad, genuinely smiling at the enthusiasm in his boyfriend's voice. "Um...it went great. I mean, I would rather have been at home in bed watching Youtube videos of guys crushing their balls in skateboarding accidents and writing scatthing comments, but, you know. Therapy was a good second choice."

"Oh, Carsey," said Kurt. "I know you didn't want to go, but it's necessary, you know."

"I know. By the way, I got your note," said Carson, desperate to change the subject. "You're the sweetest."

"Aaaw," said Kurt, and Carson just knew that he was blushing, even if he couldn't see him. "I thought that might put a little smile on your face. Did it work?"

"Like a charm," replied Carson. "How's work?"

"Oh, well. Work is work. Sebastian is here today, "helping" Isabelle and generally being a gigantic pain in my ass," Kurt grumbled, and Carson stifled a giggle. He could just imagine how Kurt had reacted to seeing the other boy when he arrived at work that morning. I bet he got that cute little frown he gets on his face when he just is NOT amused.

"That sucks," Carson replied. "Tell him if he gives you any grief, I'll kick his ass."

"No, he'll probably like that," said Kurt in a hushed voice. "He keeps asking me if we've ever considered a threesome."

"Ugh, fucking really?" asked Carson. "Tell him to go fuck himself, because there's no way in hell that's ever going to happen, I don't care how hot he thinks it is. Just... no."

"Trust me, he's been informed," said Kurt. "Quite forcefully, I might add. So, what are you doing now?"

"Getting ice cream with Dad, and then I guess we're going to go home," said Carson fiddling with the napkin dispenser absentmindedly as he spoke. "And before you say anything, I have my bag with all the pills, and I know that the alarm on my phone is going to go off in precisely forty-five minutes, so I don't want you worrying about that. Ok? I can even film myself swallowing them, if that makes you feel better."

Kurt snorted. "No, no, that won't be necessary, baby. I trust you. Just... make sure you eat your ice cream slowly, ok? I don't want you getting one of those horrible headaches on the way home."

"I promise," said Carson, smiling to himself. "Are we still on for pizza tonight?"

"Definitely," replied Kurt. "I'm so proud of you for going to your therapy appointment and making it through without injuring or maiming anyone. I'll tell them to just cover the whole thing in pepperoni."

"Mmm," said Carson. "That sounds good, you don't even know."

"Oh, I think I know how much you love pepperoni," said Kurt coyly. "And yes, that was a sexual innuendo."

"Ha!" Carson heard a familiar voice shout in the background. Kurt sighed and let out a groan.

"Great. Sebastian heard that. I'll never hear the end of it for the rest of the day now," he said exasperatedly. Carson snorted.

"Call me when you're on your way home, ok?" he asked. "You're still my Kurtsie, and you know how much I worry about you and your safety on that godforsaken subway."

"I will, baby. I promise. Enjoy your ice cream, ok?" said Kurt, the smile evident in his voice.

"Will do," said Carson. "I'll see you tonight."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

Carson hung up the phone just as his dad approached the table with two cups of ice cream, one significantly larger than the other. He set the large one in front of Carson and stuck a spoon in it, giving him a grin.

"I thought you could use all the ice cream you could handle today," he said as he sat down across from him with the smaller cup. "I know therapy isn't your favorite thing in the world."

"How'd you guess?" said Carson, happily twirling the spoon around in his ice cream and gathering up a decent sized spoonful. He carefully lifted the spoon out and guided it to his mouth, praying that he wouldn't spill any on himself. Not here, in public, with a bunch of strangers around who would probably point and laugh at him if that happened. Or at the very least whisper among themselves about the freak in the corner table who couldn't even feed himself. "What a loser," they would say. "Look at him, with chocolate ice cream all over his shirt like some kind of idiot. Why do they even allow him out in public?"

Somehow, he managed not to lose his grip on the spoon and got it to his mouth, closing his eyes at the first taste of chocolate. I think chocolate probably works better than any fucking physical therapy, he thought as he savored the taste in his mouth. Who needs to write your name like a little kid when you can lose yourself in sugar?

"Good?" asked his dad, looking at him with an amused smile. Carson nodded.

"Yep. And Kurt is totally going to kill you dead when he finds out you ate ice cream. You're not supposed to. Your heart, you know."

"Hey, it's frozen yogurt!" Burt protested. "It's healthier, or something."

"Hmmm, I don't know," said Carson. "I think we should tell him. Just in case."

"Aw, come on," said Burt. "You'd really rat me out to your brother after all I've done for you?"

"I guess not," said Carson. "Although watching him get pissed would sort of be amusement for me."

Burt defiantly stuck a spoonful of frozen yogurt into his mouth and raised an eyebrow at Carson. "Naw, you won't tell."

"I should, but I won't," said Carson, going back to his own ice cream. It took him a while, but he eventually worked his way through the entire cup, only losing control of the spoon a few times but managing to keep any spillage in the cup or on napkins and not on his clothes, thank fuck.

"You look like you enjoyed that," said Burt, indicating the sea of crumpled napkins on Carson's side of the table. He put up a hand to stop Carson from gathering them up, scooping them up himself and stuffing them into a cup to throw away.

"I did," said Carson, sighing at not being allowed to clean his own mess, but deciding not to argue in public. "Thanks, Dad."

"Any time," replied Burt. "Let's go home now, hmm?"

Kurt walked happily down the hallway toward the apartment, balancing his bag on one shoulder while holding the hot pizza with both hands. He'd made doubly sure to ask for as much pepperoni as they could spare. Carson deserved everything and anything, especially since Kurt knew good and well that he absolutely hated the idea of physical therapy. Not that his twin had ever said a word about it, but Kurt could just sense it in the way Carson's face and shoulders drooped every time someone brought it up. Poor baby. At least now he's seen that it's not that bad and it won't kill him to go. And hey...pizza.

He knocked on the door with his foot and heard a clatter of footsteps on the hard floor on the other side, along with Carson's excited voice exclaiming "He's here! Kurtsie's home!" The door was slid open quickly and Kurt was greeted with Carson's smiling face.

"Kurtsie!" he said happily. "You're home! God, I've missed you today, you have no idea." He waited until Kurt had set the pizza box down on the kitchen table before looping his arm through Kurt's and cuddling close to him. "How was the rest of your day? Did Sebastian behave himself?"

"It was fine, and no, not really," Kurt replied with a sigh. "If I have to hear one more joke about how we should move to Philadelphia..."

"Hey, Kurt," said their dad, getting up from the couch and joining them in the kitchen. "Pizza smells good."

"Yes, it does," agreed Kurt. "Did he take his pills today?"

"He did," said Burt, nodding. "He took them right on time, every dose."

"Good," said Kurt.

"Um, hey?" said Carson, waving the arm that wasn't looped through Kurt's. "He's in the room, you know. He's not a statue, or a ghost."

Kurt laughed. "I'm sorry, Carsey, baby. Did you have a good rest of the day after your appointment?"

Carson hesitated slightly, so briefly that Kurt doubted anyone but him would have even noticed, before answering. "Yeah. Yeah, it was...it was great. God, that pizza smells like fucking divinity. Can we eat?"

Kurt smiled, sensing that there was something that Carson wasn't saying, but not wanting to push him. "Of course. Here, I'll get the plates. You and Dad sit down."

"No, kid, I'll get them," protested Burt, placing his hands on Kurt's shoulders and guiding him to a seat. "You've had a long day. Go on and sit with your brother, I'll get us set up."

"Ok. Thanks, Dad," said Kurt as Carson took the seat beside him. He reached for his twin's hand under the table and squeezed gently. "You ok?" he asked quietly.

"Of course," replied Carson, and Kurt could tell he was trying to sound bright. "I just...I missed you today, that's all."

"I missed you too," said Kurt, leaning over to kiss Carson on the cheek. "I wish you could have been there with me today to help me deal with Sebastian. He's insufferable."

"He's amused," replied Carson with a shrug. "I guess I would be, too. As soon as I get my pre-lightning strike coordination back, I will totally punch him in the nuts."

Kurt laughed, opening his mouth to reply, but closing it again when their dad reappeared with plates and three cans of soda. Kurt opened the pizza box and smiled when he saw Carson's face light up like the Fourth of July at the sight of all the pepperoni.

"Holy shit, it's a sausage fest," Carson whispered happily, and Kurt had to bite his tongue to keep from snorting. He could feel himself flushing, and he would really have to work on not doing that anymore, because apparently innuendos were going to be a new part of his life.

"They really went all out," remarked Burt, sitting down and grabbing a slice out of the box, looking at the pile of pepperoni quizzically. "Did they kill a whole pig, or...?"

"I don't know, I'm just grateful for so much spicy, meaty goodness," sighed Carson happily as he carefully lifted a slice to his mouth and took a huge bite. "God, it's so good," he said as he chewed, and Kurt looked at him adoringly. If it were anyone else, he would have found chewing and talking at the same time to be gross and disgusting (because it was). But Carson somehow managed to make it look adorable.

I must really be in love if I'm overlooking such terrible table manners. What can I say? He's my baby boy.

Of course, in the future when he's completely recovered from his injuries and we're married and everything, I'll definitely be schooling him on proper food chewing. Not that I think he'll listen to me. My Carsey is stubborn if he's anything.

They finished their dinner and hung out in the living room with their dad for a while, watching TV and just relaxing as Carson curled up with his head in Kurt's lap, his arms wrapped tightly around his waist while Kurt stroked his hair.

"I hate commercials," Carson murmured, burrowing closer to Kurt. "They're so dumb. Why do they always make men out to be helpless morons who can't even clean up a spill without their wife swooping in with her magical paper towels? What, he can't take a roll of towels himself and clean up his own spilled juice? He needs his wife to treat him like a baby? I bet my life if they made commercials like that with the genders reversed, people would be pissed."

Kurt snorted. "Not that I don't agree, but it's just a commercial, Carsey."

"Kid's got a point," piped up Burt from his seat. "I managed to run a household just fine by myself, including cleaning up spills, for many years."

"See?" said Carson. "I rest my case. Commercials are stupid."

Kurt smiled and patted him on the shoulder. "I agree, Carsey," he said quietly. They stayed sitting like that until all three of them started yawning, Carson more than any of them.

"Tired, Carsey?" asked Kurt, stifling his own yawn to focus on his twin.

"Mmm-hmm," replied Carson, his face buried in Kurt's stomach. "Wanna go to bed."

"Ok," said Kurt. "Dad, I think we're going to bed," he said to Burt, who nodded.

"Goodnight, boys. Sleep well," he replied as Kurt stood up, taking Carson by the hand and leading him toward the bedroom.

"Night, Dad," Carson murmured as Kurt led him over to the bed and turned down the covers.

"Hop in, Carsey," he said cheerfully, patting the sheets as Carson climbed up. "I'm just going to go do my face really fast and then I'll join you, ok?"

"Ok," Carson said, burrowing against the pillows. "Hurry, though. I need to cuddle you."

Kurt laughed. "Ok, baby. I will." He tucked Carson into the covers and changed into his pajamas before heading toward the bathroom. He went through his facial routine as fast as possible and then went back into the bedroom, climbing into bed beside Carson and holding his arms out.

"No," said Carson, shaking his head. "No, I...I want to hold you tonight. Please? It's been so long."

Kurt bit his lip and nodded. "Of course, Carsey. Of course you can." He settled himself against Carson's body, resting his head on his chest and listening to the comforting thump thump of his heartbeat against his ear as Carson wrapped his arms around him.

"This is nice," Kurt whispered, pressing a soft kiss to Carson's chest over his T-shirt. "Just like the old days."

"Yeah," agreed Carson, holding him closer. "I've missed this. Holding you. I just... I miss the way things used to be. When I wasn't... well... when I wasn't this."

Kurt craned his neck and looked up at Carson, frowning. "There's nothing wrong with you, Carson. Absolutely nothing. The lightning wasn't your fault, and eventually you'll be right back to the way you were. I promise. And I'll be right there to cheer you on."

Carson gave him a small smile and used one hand to stroke at Kurt's hair. "Oh, Kurtsie. So optimistic."

"Of course I am," replied Kurt. "Because it's the truth. We're going to get through this, Carsey. We will. You'll see. I don't know when, but at some point in the future, we'll look back on these times and laugh."

"Laugh, huh?" asked Carson.

"Ok, well, maybe we won't laugh, but we'll definitely be able to look back and see how much we survived and overcame together," said Kurt, leaning his face up to kiss Carson on the lips, tapping him gently on the tip of his nose. "No matter what, we always have each other."

"Each other," Carson repeated, kissing him back before Kurt settled himself against him again, using his chest as his pillow and sighing.

"Goodnight, Carsey. I love you, baby."

"I love you too, Kurtsie. Goodnight."

After what seemed like forever (but which was in actuality only a few more days), the time finally came when Burt announced that he would be going back to Lima.

"Dad, you can't leave!" Kurt had exclaimed. "Who will be there to watch out for Carson when I'm off at work?"

"Kurt, believe me, I'd much rather stay here indefinitely until Carson is fully back on his feet, but I have responsibilities to attend to," their dad had replied. "And I think that he has a good enough handle on himself now to take care of himself while you're gone."

Carson, unlike Kurt, was thrilled at this piece of news. Not that he didn't like having his dad around, but as far as his and Kurt's secret relationship went, having him around was extremely frustrating. Rachel was hardly ever home. If their dad wasn't around, he and Kurt could freely kiss and touch and do whatever else came naturally to them as a couple without having to constantly tiptoe around the possibility of getting caught. Plus, they wouldn't need to be quite so quiet when they had sex, which would be a huge bonus.

"It's fine, Dad," Carson replied happily as Kurt frowned. "Really, I'll be fine during the day. I have a phone and emergency numbers, and I don't plan to go anywhere by myself, so I'll be perfectly fine and safe."

"But-" Kurt protested, but Carson looked at him pointedly.

"Kurtsie, won't it be fun to have the apartment to ourselves again?" asked Carson, stressing the word fun and hoping Kurt would get the point. Kurt raised his eyebrows, which Carson took to mean that he did, in fact, get it. "I mean, besides Trollberry when she's around, of course. No offense, Dad," he added, turning to Burt and smiling sheepishly.

"None taken," their dad replied, smiling. "See, Kurt? He'll be ok. Besides, he'll be going off to college soon and he'll have to fend for himself then."

"Yeah, Kurt," agreed Carson. "Come on, I'm a big boy. Let Dad go."

Kurt sighed. "Fine. Ok. I guess I can always ask Rachel to take you to your physical therapy appointments..."

Carson shuddered at the very thought of this, but decided not to voice his displeasure with it right now. He'd save that for later. "Yeah, whatever. Dad, go ahead and do what you have to do, ok? We'll both be just fine."

So that was how Carson found himself being hugged goodbye by his father at the airport one morning and then watching with his arm around Kurt as Burt waved at them and left to board the plane.

"Call if you need anything, boys!" he called.

"We will," Kurt replied.

"So," said Carson once their dad was out of sight and they were left alone (relatively speaking, of course, since they were still in the middle of a crowded airport). "Trollberry isn't home for the rest of the day. Do you know what that means?"

"Empty apartment," said Kurt.

"Yep. And do you know what an empty apartment means?" prodded Carson.

"We can vacuum naked?" suggested Kurt in a teasing tone of voice.

"Well, yeah, that, and we can do other things naked," replied Carson in a low voice, rubbing his fingers softly on Kurt's shoulder.

"Hmmm," said Kurt. "Yes. Yes, we could. Do you...do you want to go home now, by chance?"

"Kurtsie, I thought you would never ask."

They stumbled into the apartment, way too worked up from the tension-filled ride home to bother being graceful as they held tightly onto one another and Kurt kicked the door shut with his foot. He found himself being pressed up against it almost immediately as Carson ambushed his lips, sucking on them greedily and moaning into Kurt's mouth as his hands roamed everywhere they could reach. Kurt's hands were doing the exact same thing, his fingers hooking into the hem of Carson's T-shirt and yanking it up with little regard for being careful or gentle. Frankly, he was much too turned on at the moment to give much of a damn. He ran his fingers down the silky skin of Carson's back and gasped as Carson lowered his head to suck eagerly at the sensitive spot below Kurt's ear that always drove him wild.

"Carsey," he moaned loudly, relishing the fact that he didn't need to be quiet. There was nobody home. Not a soul to disturb them as they pawed frantically at each other. Kurt's brain was in a fog and the only thought that was forming coherently was More. God, more. He fumbled clumsily with the button of Carson's jeans, panting as Carson continued sucking at his neck like some kind of deranged, thirsty vampire. Not that he was complaining. No, quite the opposite. He finally managed to undo the pants and tug them down, leaving Carson clad only in his tight boxer briefs that were currently tenting quite impressively. Kurt snaked one hand between them to cup Carson's straining erection and rub at him teasingly through the fabric of his underwear, and Carson stopped working on Kurt's neck to bury his face in it and moan.

"Kuuuuurt," he moaned, thrusting his hips against the pressure of Kurt's hand. His own hands pawed desperately at Kurt's body, running over him through the fabric of his clothes as he groaned in frustration. "K-Kurtsie... oh god...Kurtsie, baby, please... I... too many layers... I just... I.. oh... I love them, you know I do, but please, could you..."

Kurt kissed him into silence and gave Carson's dick a last, teasing squeeze before separating from him and quickly working the buttons of his shirts and pants. Carson wasn't good at removing his admittedly complicated clothes during the best of times, much less when he had trouble using his fingers. He quickly shucked off everything, leaving himself completely naked, and Carson moaned when he saw that Kurt hadn't been wearing anything underneath his tight pants.

"You didn't wear..."

"Honey, I barely have room for my dick in those pants, much less anything else," replied Kurt, wrapping his hand around the back of Carson's head and pulling him in for a rough kiss. He kissed him hungrily, nibbling at Carson's bottom lip as he pressed his tongue inside his twin's mouth. Carson brought both hands up to hold Kurt's head in place and continued kissing him back as he began walking them backwards in what Kurt assumed he meant to be the direction of the bedroom, but which ended up being the kitchen. He stopped when his back collided with the table, and he leaned backwards, pulling Kurt on top of him and breaking from the kiss to nibble gently at Kurt's earlobe as he wrapped his legs around his waist.

"I want you so bad," he whispered, thrusting his clothed erection up against Kurt's naked one, and Kurt let out a delighted moan as he let his fingers wander down Carson's sides, stopping at the waistband of his underwear.

"Right here, Carsey?" he asked, his fingers dipping teasingly inside the waistband just enough to cause Carson to shiver. "Right here on the table?" In the kitchen, Kurt? Really? Where we EAT? his mind protested, but Kurt silently told his mind to shut the hell up, because he was beyond caring right now where they were. All he knew was that he wanted Carson, and he wanted him yesterday.

"Please," Carson squeaked out, and Kurt kissed him, covering his boyfriend's mouth with his own as he pulled the offending underwear down and off, tossing them who cared where. He caught Carson's erection and his own in one fist and began slowly stroking, shivering in pleasure as he watched Carson's face beneath him.

"Kurt, I want you in me," Carson begged, thrusting his hips up into Kurt's hand and biting his lip. "Please, just...please."

"Ok. Ok, baby," Kurt said soothingly, letting go of their dicks and kissing Carson on the lips once more. "I just... we don't have any lube or condoms here, honey. I'll be right back."

"I don't care!" Carson whined, holding onto Kurt tighter to keep him from leaving. "We don't need that stuff, just... please..."

"Carson, yes we do," Kurt insisted, gently prying himself loose from Carson's grip and patting him on the arm reassuringly. "You go without lube and you won't be walking normally for weeks. I'll just be a second, ok?"

"Just... can you just bring back the lube?" asked Carson in a small voice, biting his lip and looking nervous. "I mean, if... oh god, I know we should discuss it first, but I... I mean, if it's ok with you... could we not use the condom?"

Kurt gaped at him, trying to decide if he'd really just heard what he thought he'd heard. "Carson, I... baby, I would love that, I really would, but are you sure? I mean..."

Carson nodded. "I'm sure, Kurt. I mean, you're the only one I've ever been with, so... and you're clean, right?"

Kurt sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I am, actually. I... well, before we had sex for the first time I went into work late one day in order to go to a clinic first. Just to be sure, you know, that... I mean, after Blaine cheated and everything I just wanted to be sure. For you."

"And?" asked Carson.

"And I'm clean as a whistle," replied Kurt with a smile. "I just... it never came up, and then the lightning happened, so..."

Carson nodded, smiling wide. "Just the lube, then."

"Just the lube," Kurt repeated, kissing Carson and hurrying into the bedroom to retrieve the small bottle from his bedside table. He practically flew back to Carson, and almost came right on the spot when he saw that Carson had leaned over the table, bending over and propping his arms up on it as he faced away from Kurt.

"Like this," he said. "I... I want you like this."

Kurt bit back a wall-shaking moan as he crossed over to his twin and covered his body with his own, peppering Carson's back with little kisses before trailing the length of his spine with his tongue as Carson shivered beneath him. He popped open the cap of the bottle and lubed up his fingers. He teased them around Carson's entrance for a few seconds before pressing one in, slowly working Carson open while continuing to kiss his back.

"You're beautiful," he whispered as Carson panted. "You can moan, honey. It's ok. Nobody will hear you. I want to hear you, baby."

"I... fuck, Kurt!" Carson moaned as Kurt added a second finger and crooked them both upwards to find his prostate. "Kurt, hrrngh... oh god..."

"That's right, sweetheart. Tell me how much you like it," Kurt crooned, slowly working his way up to three fingers and watching in fascination as Carson became a whimpering, shaking mess, pressing back on his fingers desperately.

"Kurtsie, come on... please... " he cried. "I'm ready, I'm ready, just... I want you now."

Kurt obliged, removing his fingers and grabbing the lube bottle.

"Could... could you not use too much?" asked Carson. "I want to really feel you, so... just enough to make it easy, ok?"

"God, Carson," Kurt breathed, lubing his dick up with far less lube than he was used to and rubbing some along Carson's rim, just in case. He lined himself up and kissed between his boyfriend's shoulder blades softly. "You're ready?"

"Yes," replied Carson, and with that, Kurt began pushing himself in, taking his time and letting Carson adjust to the intrusion every few inches before adding more. He had to stop and catch his breath for a second once he was fully sheathed inside of Carson's tight heat. It was the closest thing to heaven he thought he'd ever experience, and it was overwhelming. He wrapped one arm around Carson's chest to keep him steady, placing the other one on his twin's thigh. "Let me know when you want me to move," he said, hoping he could wait that long. The urge to just start moving was dizzying.

"Move, move!" Carson moaned, pushing back on Kurt's length and causing Kurt to lose his breath for a second. "God, move!"

Kurt slowly pulled out and then rammed back in, his skin slapping against Carson's from the impact. Carson let out a wail and reached one of his arms back to stroke Kurt's hair.

"Yes... like that, harder... oh god," he moaned as Kurt dragged out and entered again, harder and faster this time. "Keep going... Kurtsie... fuck..."

Kurt threw all caution to the wind and let loose, beginning to fuck into Carson wildly, an almost animalistic urge overtaking him as he pounded into his twin's body. Carson was moaning and screaming beneath him, and fucking himself back on Kurt's dick, and Kurt's brain began to cloud over as all he could focus on was the sounds of moaning and skin slapping together and heavy breathing. He leaned down to suck a kiss into the side of Carson's neck, and before he knew what was happening, Carson was coming, completely untouched, all over the side of the table.

"Kuuuuuurt, fuuuuck," he whined, and his muscles contracted deliciously around Kurt, causing him to fast approach his own climax as he continued fucking Carson into the table.

"So beautiful," Kurt grunted as he felt himself getting closer. "God, Carson, I just...I love you," he said as he finally reached his peak, coming hard inside of Carson before slumping against his back, panting and utterly exhausted. Carson's hand came up again to stroke at his hair, his head looking back as he took huge breaths underneath the weight of Kurt's body. Kurt kissed him lazily, wrapping both of his arms around Carson's chest and holding him close.

"Fuck," he whispered, kissing the back of Carson's neck. "Carsey..."

"I know," said Carson. "I... ok, we're never using condoms again."

"Well, not all the time, anyway," said Kurt, slowly pulling out of his boyfriend and moaning at the sight of his own come spilling out of him. "God, Carson, you have no idea how sexy this is... we should shower, though. And clean all this up, because...god..."

"Think we could go for round two in there?" asked Carson as he turned to face Kurt, a blissful, satisfied smile on his face.

"I think that could be arranged," said Kurt with a grin. "Maybe I'll even clean you up with my tongue."

"Kurt, fuck!"

Unfortunately for Carson, their father leaving to go back to Lima meant more than just uninhibited sexual encounters all over the apartment (literally, all over the apartment... while they still had it to themselves they christened the couch, the bathroom sink, the shower, and the floor... in several spots. Kurt had insisted on condoms, though, since he insisted that he did not want to spend a whole night cleaning come up off various surfaces). It also meant that Kurt still wanted somebody around to be a safety net for Carson while he was away at work, and now that Burt was gone, that somebody was Rachel.

"Kuuuurt, you can't just leave me here with her!" Carson whined on the first day that his twin insisted on this arrangement. "She's annoying!"

"Kuuuurt, you can't just leave me here with him!" Rachel whined, sounding even more desperate to not have any part of this than Carson was. "He's such a-"

"Rachel, watch it," Kurt snapped, and Carson smirked at the shocked look on Rachel's face. "He is still recovering from a massive brain injury, and you will treat him nicely."

"I don't want to be stuck here with her all day," Carson complained. "Can't I go with you?"

"Why does he need a babysitter, anyway?" Rachel mumbled, crossing her arms grumpily. "He's a grown man."

"Rachel, he's a grown man who almost died, and I'm sorry, but I just don't feel comfortable leaving him here alone," said Kurt. "And I said I would cover your half of the rent in exchange, so just shut up and listen."

"Fine," Rachel said, rolling her eyes.

"Ok," said Kurt. "Now, I know Carson has a list of all the emergency numbers stored with his pills, but I've also left one for you in the kitchen on the fridge, juuust in case. You need to make sure he eats, and also that he takes his pills on time-"

"I do not need Trollberry to remind me to take my pills," Carson interrupted, frowning as he slumped in his chair at the kitchen table, trying not to think too much about what he and Kurt had done on it not two days before. "I'm fully capable of doing that myself, thank you."

"Carsey, I know, but I just... I would feel a lot better knowing that someone is here with you, ok?" said Kurt in a soft tone, smiling at Carson sympathetically. Carson grumbled in response, but nodded. If it made Kurt feel better, he supposed he could suffer for love.

"Good. That's my boy. Now, Rachel, I know that you don't exactly get along with Carson, but just... just make sure he eats and takes his pills and then you both can just leave each other alone the rest of the day. And it's morning, so he's going to be a little grumpy, so just... Carson, do you think you can keep the insults to a bare minimum?"

"I promise nothing," said Carson. Rachel rolled her eyes. Kurt sighed.

"Whatever. Rachel, just make sure he doesn't burn the building down and that he's still alive by the time I get home from work. Ok?" asked Kurt.

"Wait...burn the... is he dangerous?" asked Rachel in a whisper to Kurt. "Now that he's had his injury?"

"I might be," replied Carson, giving Rachel an evil smile as she looked uncertainly in his direction. Maybe being left alone all day with Trollberry wouldn't be so bad after all.

"Oh for god's sake," said Kurt with an eye roll. He gave Carson a hug and kissed him on the cheek. "Be good, Carsey. Please?" he whispered in his ear, and Carson nodded.

"I'll try," he said, flashing Rachel another mischievous smile behind Kurt's back. Rachel looked terrified.

"Call me if anyone dies," Kurt called out cheerfully as he slid the apartment door open and left, closing it with a slam behind him. Rachel and Carson looked each other over warily for a few seconds, as though sizing each other up for battle.

"Well, Trollberry, it's just you and me," said Carson sweetly. "You're not happy about it, and I'm not happy about it, but it's the way things are. And as my official appointed babysitter, you may as well earn the title. So... I require a bowl of cereal. You know where the bowls are."

Rachel glared at him. "I didn't hear the magic word."

"Oh. My apologies," said Carson. "Lucky Charms."

"Those are not the magic words," mumbled Rachel.

"How about "I'll tell Kurt you yanked my arm forcefully?" Are those magical?" asked Carson, enjoying the increasingly irritated look on Rachel's face. "Because I'm pretty sure he won't be very happy with you."

"He wouldn't believe you," replied Rachel.

"Oh no? Kuuurt, look at my arm," Carson exclaimed in a mock sad voice. "Trollberry got mad at me and grabbed it hard, and look, there's a bruise and everything!" He finished off with a pout, and Rachel sighed heavily.

"You are the worst kind of person," she grumbled exasperatedly. Carson grinned.

"I know," he said. "Now please get me my cereal?" Rachel rolled her eyes and did so, and Carson concentrated on his plan for the day. Contrary to what it looked like, he wasn't out to torture Rachel all day, although that would have been fun. He actually was going to spend the day writing his name. Or trying to, anyway. He had tried all afternoon on the day of his first therapy session, and hadn't had any luck, which was frustrating as shit. He had hidden the papers containing his failed attempts underneath one of his hoodies in the closet instead of throwing them away, because he hadn't wanted Kurt to know what a failure he was.

Today would be different. Today, he decided, as he carefully ate his cereal and ignored Rachel, he would write his name if it fucking killed him. He finished eating, leaving the bowl for Rachel to take care of, and headed for the bedroom, shutting the privacy curtain closed and pulling out the notepad and ballpoint pen he had hidden underneath the bed. He climbed up on the bed, grasped the pen as best he could, and pressed it to the paper.

C...A...fuck

He sighed in frustration as his hand refused to cooperate anymore. He didn't understand it. He had almost mastered the use of most other everyday objects, such as silverware. What the fuck was so hard about a writing utensil? If I can't even write my own name all the way through, how in the fucking hell am I going to get through college?

He shook himself and pressed the pen to the paper again.

C...A...R...S...FUCK!

He tore the paper out of the notebook and balled it up angrily, throwing it as hard as he could against the wall. It bounced lamely and fluttered to the floor as Carson took a deep breath to calm himself down. Determined not to give up, he pulled up a fresh sheet of paper and tried again. And again. And again. He tried for almost two hours, growing increasingly more angry with every failed attempt. He hated paper. He hated pens. He hated fucking rain and lightning, he hated that he was slowly regaining his memory of that night piece by piece, but all he remembered clearly were things that he couldn't make sense out of. A Monopoly game. Kissing Kurt on the floor. He hated that he was broken now. He hated fucking everything.

I fucking hate you, he thought, glaring down at the paper. I hate you most of all.

He didn't know whether he was talking to the paper or to himself.