Beneath The Mask You Wear
GreenOrnaments
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Beneath The Mask You Wear: Chapter 31


E - Words: 11,540 - Last Updated: Sep 15, 2013
Story: Closed - Chapters: 36/? - Created: Sep 15, 2013 - Updated: Sep 15, 2013
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Author's Notes:

I know this fic has been super angsty, but we're getting somewhere with it, I promise. Just bear with us a bit longer :) Kurson have a lot of shit to work through.

"Good news, everyone," announced Professor Norris as he stood at the front of the lecture hall and faced the sleepy hordes of students. "I've graded last week's essays, and most of you did exceptionally well. Of course, some of you will also need to schedule some office time with me in the near future, which will be noted at the top of your paper when you receive it back. I'll be calling you up by rows to come collect your papers, so if Row 1 will kindly queue up…"


Carson tuned him out, directing all his focus on the Google search he was already performing in preparation for next week's assignment. He didn't really need to hear the rest of Norris' speech, because he already knew his grade was one of the exceptional ones, if not the best for the entire class. Most likely, it was the latter. He had yet to receive anything less than perfect marks since the day he'd stepped foot on campus, and he had no plans for that to change any time soon. He had a pretty good idea which of his classmates were going to receive requests for academic counseling on their papers. The ones who spent their already miniscule lecture time per week giggling over their Twitter accounts instead of paying attention, that was who.


"Row 4, please," he heard Norris call out, and he quickly pocketed his phone, jumping up to beat the rest of his row to the professor's desk.


"Ah, Mr. Phillips," his teacher said with a smile as he retrieved Carson's paper from the small pile in front of him and handed it over. "Nothing less than perfection, as usual. Keep it up, sir."


"I intend to," Carson answered proudly, taking his paper and heading back to his seat to admire the beautiful, blood-red "100%" adorning the top of his essay about sexual allegory in Elizabethan literature.


"Ugh, seriously, mate? A perfect score again?" asked the boy sitting beside him, who was waving his own paper around with a dismayed expression. "How the fuck do you manage?"


"Well, Peter, for starters, I don't spend the whole of every lecture playing Hay Day on my phone," said Carson haughtily as he carefully placed his graded paper into a ringed binder and gave it a loving pat. "And secondly, I work on my papers from the moment they're announced and write at least two drafts. I don't rush through them thirty minutes before they're due. Maybe start there, and see whether that gets you better than a…. 68%," Carson finished, craning his neck to read the grade at the top of the other boy's paper. "Honestly, how are you even still in this class with marks like that?"


"Hey, I'm passing," Peter protested.


"Barely," snorted Carson. "You know, if ever you need any help, I'd be happy to assist you. For a fee, of course. I don't work for free."


"Thanks," the other boy said slowly as he gave Carson a narrow-eyed look.


"Don't mention it," said Carson, taking his phone back out of his pocket and redirecting his attention to his essay research. A sudden vibration in his hand interrupted his concentration, and he had a hard time being irritated about it when he saw that it was a text from Kurt that was the cause of it.


I've just collected the mail. There's a package from April addressed to both of us, he read as he swiped over to his messages.


-What's in it?


I don't know, I was going to wait for you so we could open it together.


Carson smiled to himself. K. Be home in a couple of hours, ok? I've only got one lecture today.


K. Kisses.


-You're weird.


You love my kisses.


-I am sighing so hard right now.


I'm waiting.


-*long suffering sigh* Kisses.


That's better.


Carson shook his head as he went back to his research and felt a warm glow spreading over his skin, in spite of himself. Damn Kurt anyhow for having such an effect on him.


"Pssst.. Carson," whispered a feminine voice from behind him. Carson sighed and turned his head to address Hayley, the girl from his assigned study group who always sat behind him and tried to hit on him in the world's most obvious ways.


"What can I help you with, Hayley," he whispered back, inwardly rolling his eyes because he had a feeling all she wanted was to make her hundredth pass at him since the term had started.


"Hey, I know study session was cancelled this afternoon, but I thought maybe you'd want to meet up with me at my dorm anyway?" the girl asked, flashing him a toothy smile and playing nervously with a strand of wavy hair with one hand as she rested the other on Carson's shoulder and squeezed it. "We'd be alone. No one would disturb us."


"Yeeeeah, as lovely as that sounds, I'm gonna say no," Carson said calmly, shrugging her hand off of his shoulder and shaking his head for emphasis. "As I've explained to you repeatedly, I'm not interested in the equipment you're working with, yeah?"


Hayley rolled her eyes and slumped down in her seat with a defeated sigh as Carson turned his attention back to his phone.


The rest of the lecture passed quickly, and Carson hurriedly made his way for home, stopping briefly at a nearby bakery to pick up a brownie for himself and a slice of chocolate cheesecake for Kurt. He knew his twin loved the cake from that particular place, but Kurt was seldom ever in that part of town in order to get it. Besides, Carson was still feeling awesome about his perfect essay grade and figured the treats counted as a celebration of sorts.


Plus, he just really wanted to do something nice for Kurt. No one had to know that, exactly.


"I'm hoooome," he announced brightly once he had arrived back at the flat and flung the door open.


"Hey, honey," he heard Kurt reply from the direction of the living room, footsteps growing closer as his twin made his way toward him. "Looks like we both had light days today. How was class?"


"Same old," said Carson, setting the bakery bag down on the kitchen counter as Kurt entered the room. His twin's eyes settled on it and lit up as he recognized the name written on the plastic.


"Is that….?" he asked breathily.


Carson nodded. "Yep," he said proudly. "I stopped by on my way home. I got the chocolate cheesecake you like."


Kurt let out a gleeful shriek and wrapped Carson up in a tight hug, causing Carson's stomach to flutter pleasantly as he gingerly hugged his twin back.


"You're the best," said Kurt happily, placing a kiss on Carson's cheek that made him start to flush.


"Well, I won't argue with you there," Carson replied casually. "But it really wasn't any big deal. It's just cheesecake."


Kurt smiled and hugged him tighter. "Well, thank you," he said, patting Carson's back gently.


"You're welcome," said Carson, giving him a small smile as he cleared his throat. "Erm… so, you said April sent us a thing?"


"Oh! Right," said Kurt, grabbing Carson's hand and leading him excitedly into the living room. "Right there," he said, indicating a small, cardboard box sitting in the middle of the coffee table. Carson carefully picked it up, surprised when it was a bit heavier than he expected.


"Weird," he muttered, turning the box around in his hands. "What do you think it is?"


Kurt shrugged. "Don't know. I haven't exercised my mind reading powers lately, so I really couldn't tell you."


Carson sat down on the couch, side-eyeing him as he placed the package back down on the table. "That was downright sassy, Kurt. I'm proud."


"Thank you. I do my best," said Kurt with a grin, sitting down beside him as Carson opened his messenger bag and rooted around for a pen, which he used the tip of to slice through the packing tape holding the box closed.


"Alright, let's see what we've got here," he murmured, poking away the last of the tape and forcing the flaps of the box wide open. He reached his hand into the sea of foam packing peanuts, moving it around blindly until he felt something hard beneath his fingers.


"Gotcha," he whispered under his breath as he reached his other hand inside the box to pull out the mysterious object, which turned out to be a small, grey piece of hardened plaster stone in the shape of a perfect circle. A tiny pair of handprints were indented into the stone on one side, and above them, inscribed into the plaster carefully, were the words, "To my big brothers Carson and Kurt. Love, Max." A blue, faux gemstone at the bottom and a coat of glazing over the entire thing completed the presentation.


"Oh, wow," Carson breathed out, running his hand gently over the stone as he balanced it on his lap to admire it.


"I hate to admit it, but this is really sweet," said Kurt, reaching out one finger to caress the small handprints. "It's adorable."


"It is," Carson agreed, suddenly realizing how much he missed seeing Max. It was one of the few things he ever missed at all about his hometown, other than being able to see Grandma. "We should call April and thank her," he added, taking his phone out of his pocket and dialing April's number as Kurt took hold of the stone, placing it gingerly in the middle of the coffee table.


"Hello?" he heard as his stepmother picked up on the second ring.


"Hi, April. It's Carson."


"Oh, hi!" she exclaimed happily. "How are you, sweetie?"


"I'm good."


"And Kurt?"


"He's good… we just got your present," Carson said, absentmindedly playing with a stray packing peanut. "It's so cute."


"Oh good, it came! I wasn't sure how long it would take. Did it come in one piece?" asked April.


"Yep, it's so adorable," Carson assured her. "Thank you so much."


"Yeah, thanks!" Kurt interjected, leaning over Carson to talk into the phone. "It was so sweet."


"Oh, you're welcome, boys," said April with a laugh. "I was making them for a bunch of relatives, and I couldn't forget Max's big brothers."


"How is Max?" asked Carson curiously.


"He's great, he's just great…. he's right here, actually. Wanna try to talk to him?" April asked.


"Sure."


"Actually, hold on, hang up and I'll FaceTime you," she said quickly. Carson did just that, and within a minute his phone was ringing with a new FaceTime call, which he eagerly answered as Kurt scooted closer to him on the couch in order to see better.


"Hiiii!" said April, waving at them once her face filled the phone screen.


"Hi," the boys answered in unison as Kurt rested his chin on Carson's shoulder. There was some dizzying camera motion as April brought the phone down to Max's level, which was on the floor as he busied himself with clumsily dragging a crayon up and down the pages of a Spongebob Squarepants coloring book.


"Say hi, Max," April prodded him gently.


"Hiiiii, Maxie," Carson said in the bright voice he always reserved for the baby. Max glanced up from his coloring and focused his attention on the phone, his face breaking into a smile when he saw the twins looking at him.


"Can you say hi to your brothers?" April encouraged him. "Say hi."


"Awson!" Max shrieked happily, dropping his crayon and forgetting entirely about his coloring book. "Awson!"


"That's right, Carson," April repeated for emphasis.


"Hi, little guy," said Carson, smiling at him.


"Hi, Max," Kurt added in a baby voice, leaning forward so that Max could see him better. "Remember me?"


Max just looked at him curiously for a moment, his head cocked to the side, as if he were giving it careful thought.


"I'm Kurt, Maxie," Kurt prodded patiently. "Remember? Kurt?"


"Dirt,"


"No, no. KurtKkkkkkkk."


"...Dirt."


Kurt sighed, defeated. "Ok. Yeah. Dirt is close enough."


"So, when do you guys think you'll be back in town?" asked April, once the boys had attempted small talk with Max for several more minutes. "We could meet up for a visit, if you wanted."


"Not sure," Carson admitted with a shrug. "We don't get back there very much. I'll let you know?"


"Ok, cool," agreed April. "Ugh, I should probably go before your dad gets home. I'll talk to you later, ok?"


"Ok," said Carson. "And hey, thanks again for the stone. We loved it."


"Yes, thank you," Kurt added.


"Any time, boys," said April with a smile. "Bye, now."


"Bye," said the boys at the same time before Carson hung the phone up and settled back against the couch cushions.


"He's getting really big," he mused out loud as Kurt settled himself comfortably against him, resting his head on his chest and wrapping his arms around his waist, which secretly felt like heaven to Carson.


"He is," agreed Kurt.


"Maybe we should visit soon," Carson continued. "I have to see Grandma, anyway."


"Mmm," murmured Kurt in agreement. "Yeah, maybe. Hey," he said brightly, trying to change the subject, "I meant to ask you earlier, but Sebastian and I were going to try to catch a movie tomorrow afternoon. Did you want to join us?"


Carson's insides immediately turned stone cold, his stomach turning with distaste as he fought the urge to say "Uuuuuugh" out loud. He was so fucking sick of Sebastian hanging around. Specifically, Sebastian hanging around Kurt. Ever since the other boy had oh-so-conveniently decided to move to London (the better to creepily stalk Kurt, Carson assumed), he'd been hanging around like an incurable STD, and to say that Carson wished he would just fucking disappear would have been the understatement of the century.


He was about to decline Kurt's invitation, because he honestly couldn't think of anything worse than hanging around those two for an entire afternoon and watching while Sebastian practically undressed his completely oblivious twin with his eyes, but he thought better of it. If Sebastian thought he was going to get some quality alone time with Kurt, he could just keep on dreaming. Carson would be a fool to turn down this golden cockblocking opportunity.


"Sure, whatever," he finally replied, his voice completely unenthusiastic. "Sounds good."


I'd actually rather die, but I'll be damned if Sebastian gets his way.





"Ok," Kurt said with satisfaction as he finished counting out the fake game money in the denominations specified by the included instructions inside the Game of Life box. "We've got our money, we've got our little cars with our peg people inside. Now, do you want to go first, or should I?"


"You go first," said Sebastian, smiling as he crossed his legs underneath himself and gestured toward the board.


"Ok, well, I'm going to go to uni, obviously, so that means I have to give myself a loan," Kurt said, counting out the appropriate amount of notes from the bank and adding it to his neat money pile. He reached one hand over the game board and flicked the spinner, moving his car the designated number of spaces in the correct direction. "Your turn."


"Ok, well, unlike you, I don't want to go to uni, so would you be so kind as to hold out the career card deck for me?" asked Sebastian sweetly. Kurt did, and Sebastian took the first card on the top of the pile.


"A doctor. Nice," he said approvingly as he turned the card over.


"You can't be a doctor," Kurt protested.


"Yes I can, the card says so."


"No, you can't. The card also says "degree required," Kurt argued, jabbing his finger on the space of the card containing those words. "You aren't going to college, so you have to pick a new career. Unless you come to uni with me, of course."


"Hmmm," Sebastian mused, as if he were pondering a serious decision. "I do enjoy my freedom, but on the other hand, if you and I were at the same college, we could get up to all kinds of mischief….. I can't decide…."


"Well, if you take much longer to think about it, Carson will get here before we can finish the game," said Kurt. "Then we'll never know how our lives turned out."


"True," agreed Sebastian with a sigh. "Ugh, fine. I'll go to college. Give me my loan."


"Say please."


"Please."


"That's better," said Kurt brightly, handing over the notes. Sebastian took them and spun the spinner, his plastic car landing slightly ahead of Kurt's on the bright red space marked "Job."


"Ha, I went to college and now I can be a doctor," he crowed triumphantly. "Gimme my doctor card back."


"Sorry, hon, that's not how that works," said Kurt. "Now we have to shuffle the career cards again and accept whatever fate decides to give us."


"But… I just spent a shit ton of money on medical school," Sebastian whined. "What if I end up having to be a plumber or something?"


"Plumbers make good money," Kurt pointed out as he shuffled the cards. "Here," he said, holding the newly sorted deck out to the other boy. "Pick."


Sebastian took the top card off the pile, making a face as he turned it over. "Uuuugh, this says I'm a teacher. Can I pick again?"


"No," declared Kurt. "You are Mr. Smythe and you teach university level maths."


Sebastian grinned. "Does that mean I get to have torrid affairs with my legal-aged students?"


The room felt slightly warm all of a sudden as Kurt tried hard not to think about Sebastian, as a teacher, wearing tight jeans and a tie, asking some innocent boy to stay after class…


"Ahem," he cleared his throat. "Anyway, let's see what I've got," he said quickly, changing the subject. He took the next card off the pile and turned it over, revealing his career to be a police officer.


"Ok, not going to lie, that is one hot image," grinned Sebastian when he saw what was printed on the card. "You, carrying handcuffs, demanding to be called "Officer…"


"Shut up," laughed Kurt, even though he really didn't mind the attention. It was cute, actually, the way Sebastian always harmlessly flirted with him, giving him that adorable grin that lit up his face like a Christmas tree. He supposed it was only natural when two people had a past sexual history, even if they had since cooled down to merely friends. It didn't mean you couldn't think of them as a sexy teacher once in a while, did it?


"I don't think I quite have the disposition to be a police officer," said Kurt as he drew a salary and placed both cards next to his money pile. "I'm pretty sure I'm much too nice."


"Nah, you're nice, but I think you'd be awesome at laying down the law when people have it coming," Sebastian argued, flicking the spinner and moving his car piece.


"Well, I do manage to keep Carson in line," Kurt said proudly, as Sebastian busied himself retrieving another blue peg from the game box and placing it beside his own in his car, having landed on the "Get Married" space.


"Ah, the untamable has settled down," Kurt cooed teasingly as Sebastian gave him a withering look. "Who was the lucky guy?"


"Well, whoever he was, he was beautiful, kind, a sex kitten without trying, generous, and in possession of multiple talents," answered Sebastian. "If I'm gonna be forced to get married, that's the only type of man I will accept."


"Seems like a pretty impossible standard, don't you think?" asked Kurt, amused. "I don't think that kind of perfect guy exists."


"Oh, you'd be surprised," said Sebastian quietly, his eyes briefly locking with Kurt's, a look crossing over his face that gave Kurt an odd, unidentifiable feeling, deep in the pit of his stomach. He quickly shook it off, reaching to flick the spinner for his next turn, when there was a sudden knocking at the apartment door. Judging by how loud and insistent it was, Kurt assumed it had to be his brother, arriving on time for their movie date.


"Door's open!" Sebastian called out. The door swung open and Carson stepped inside, surveying the spread out game board in the living room with distaste as he entered.


"Hi, Carson," Kurt greeted him warmly, getting to his feet so he could kiss his twin on the cheek. "How was school?"


"I just had study group," answered Carson, sounding tired. "That Hayley chick did everything but jump on my dick right in front of everyone. Girl's thirsty as fuck. I'm gonna have to try to find her her own guy to torment."


Kurt narrowed his eyes. "Oh, I really don't like her."


"Yeah, well, it's only for the term," Carson said with a shrug.


"Sebastian and I were just playing Life," Kurt said, changing the subject cheerfully. "He just got married."


"What poor, deluded soul agreed to marry you?" asked Carson, fixing Sebastian with a wide, fake smile.


"I don't know," answered Sebastian smoothly. "I would guess someone who got tired of chasing after dead ends and who wanted to settle down with the kind of man they deserved. You know. Just a guess."


"And they still ended up with you? Poor sap," retorted Carson without missing a beat. "So, are we doing this movie thing, or what?"


"Yeah," said Kurt, checking his watch. "The show starts in about forty-five minutes, so we should get going."


"Yep. Come on, I'm driving," said Sebastian, jumping to his feet and grabbing his jacket from where it had been tossed haphazardly on the sofa earlier.


"Calm your tits, lightning bolt, I have my car," Carson protested. "And I'm not coming back here later to get it. I will drive, and drop you off on the way back."


"Either way you'll have to come back here, so I don't see what difference it makes," Sebastian argued.


"Kurt and I both have to sit in the front seat, or else we barf."


"No I don't!" Kurt exclaimed in embarrassed protest. "God, Carson."


"Fine. I throw up, whatever," mumbled Carson. "Let's just take my car, ok? You'll love the back seat, Meerkat."


Something about the way Carson phrased that made Kurt feel like the entire reason for such insistence that they take his car was because he wanted Sebastian to be in the backseat and, thus, the theoretical third wheel. It wasn't exactly subtle, the way the two of them seemed to be in constant pissing contests with each other. Frankly, it exhausted Kurt, but he still held out hope that both of them would grow up one day soon and they could all enjoy their friendship like adults.


"Fine, let's just take Carson's car," Kurt spoke up, effectively putting an end to the debate as he watched Sebastian concede and nod. "We're going to be late standing here arguing about it."


The three of them piled into Carson's car after all, and Kurt hoped that this little scuffle wasn't a bad sign of things to come for the rest of the afternoon. As it turned out, his hoping only worked until they reached the ticket counter.


"Ok, so, I'll pay for all of us," announced Sebastian as they got in line. "My treat."


"No need, I can pay for myself and Kurt," Carson said quickly.


"Seriously, it's no big deal, I can cover all of us," Sebastian insisted.


"I'm aware of that, but you don't need to," Carson reiterated firmly. "I'm not poor, and Kurt is my brother," he added, emphasizing the my ever so slightly, which made Kurt start to blush, especially after Carson snaked one arm around his waist. "It's not like this is a date or anything," he said pointedly. Sebastian set his mouth in a line, but didn't protest any further.


By the time Carson and Sebastian were elbowing each other for the same seat inside the theater, Kurt was beginning to wonder if maybe it would be better from now on not to go on outings with both boys at once.


Ugh. I love them, but they're such boys.





"Good news," Carson announced several weeks later, smiling triumphantly as he pushed his way into the flat, laden down with a box full of purchases from the liquor store. "I've got us fully stocked for the party." Both boys' universities were being blessed with a long weekend, and they had decided to throw a little get-together at the flat on Friday night, both to celebrate the freedom and to mix their two groups of new friends. Well, Carson assumed Kurt had new friends, anyway. What Carson had were mostly casual acquaintances and regular customers who knew to come to him for pot, but all he'd had to do was tell Hayley about it, and suddenly a whole lot of people were planning to show up. That girl may have been annoying, but she was popular and had a big mouth.


"Great," he heard his twin call out approvingly from the kitchen. Carson headed in there, setting the box down on the counter as he surveyed the sight of Kurt, a white apron tied around his impeccable outfit, busily stirring something in a giant, blue mixing bowl.


"What are you making?" Carson asked curiously, crossing over to him and peering over his shoulder into the bowl.


"Cookies," Kurt replied happily. "They're for the party. I don't think it's ever a good party without baked goods."


"Yeah, but usually there's pot in them," Carson said teasingly, placing his hands on Kurt's shoulders and placing a soft kiss on the top of his hair.


"You're so hilarious," Kurt replied sarcastically, even though Carson could hear the smile in his voice. "These are my famous chocolate chip cookies, I'm not going to spoil them with pot."


"It's an enhancer," Carson insisted.


"No."


Carson sighed, pretending to be pained by Kurt's stubbornness. "Have it your way, then."


"I will, thank you," Kurt said with exaggerated haughtiness. "By the way, I talked Sebastian into taking care of the Jello shots."


His words gave Carson sudden pause as he felt the overwhelming urge to let out a frustrated whine. "Sebastian's coming?" he asked, barely bothering to hide his disappointment.


"Yeah," said Kurt. "Didn't I tell you? I thought I told you. Anyway, it would feel rude not to invite him."


Carson didn't reply. He was too busy inwardly screaming at the thought of having to watch Sebastian make bedroom eyes at Kurt all night, especially when there was alcohol involved. Great. Exactly what I fucking needed. God, can't he start travelling again so I can have, like, five minutes of peace without having to deal with his pathetic lovesick simpering around Kurt? I don't think I ask for very much.


"You ok?" asked Kurt.


Carson just sighed and rested his chin on the groove between Kurt's neck and his shoulder. "M'fine," he mumbled grumpily. "Can I try the dough?"


"You can lick the spoon once I've put the dough on the sheet," Kurt said.


"Ok," Carson said, reaching over Kurt and grabbing a handful of chocolate chips out of the bag his twin had set next to his baking sheets.


"Carson!" Kurt yelped in protest. "Go easy on those, I have to make another dozen cookies after this one."


"Relax, babe, there's plenty," said Carson as he shoved the entire handful into his mouth.


"You take one more chip out of that bag and you'll be sorry," Kurt warned him, turning around and shaking the batter-covered spoon for emphasis.


"I'm scared, so very scared," Carson teased, slowly inching his hand back toward the bag.


"Carson Phillips, I'm warning you."


"Oh? What do you plan to do?" Carson inquired, grinning cheekily as he slipped his fingers inside the bag and came away with a solitary chocolate chip. "Spank me with the spoon? Oooh, actually, that sounds awesome, you should spank me with the spoon."


"Carson, put the chip back."


"No," Carson said defiantly, enjoying the way Kurt sighed with frustration at the same time as he was having a hard time hiding the way the corners of his mouth were turning up in amusement.


"Put it back or I'll have to take it from you."


"By force? Kinky."


"Carson, I swear to god….."


"Come and get it if you want it!" shrieked Carson gleefully as he bolted out of the kitchen and into the living room, Kurt hot on his heels. He felt strong arms tackle him to the couch, wrestling with him as his twin tried valiantly to pry the chocolate from his fingers.


"Carson, give it!"


"Never," Carson declared, holding his hand aloft so that the candy of contention was just out of Kurt's grasp as his brother wriggled clumsily on top of him. Which felt super awesome, and wasn't something that Carson necessarily wanted to stop any time soon.


"Come ooooon," Kurt whined, making grabby hands in the air.


"Kurt, seriously, my hands have been all over it," Carson pointed out. "Are you sure you really want to put it in a cookie now?"


Kurt glared at him, his eyes murderous as Carson brought the chocolate chip to his mouth and popped it inside, chewing and swallowing quickly as he gave the other boy a shit eating grin.


"You are such a dick," Kurt grumbled, his eyebrows furrowed into an adorable frown.


"I would think you'd be used to that by now," said Carson. "I've been a dick since the moment the egg was fertilized."


"Uuuuuuugh, you are so frustrating!" exclaimed Kurt, glaring at Carson even though his body was still on top of him, and it didn't appear that he planned to move.


"Aaaaw, poor Kurtsie Wurtsie," teased Carson in a sing-song voice. "Bet I know how to turn that frown upside down."


"Act like a normal human for five minutes?" suggested Kurt.


"Nope. This way," said Carson, and with lightning speed, he flipped the two of them over so that he was now the one pinning Kurt to the couch instead of the other way around.


"If you think you're going to buy your way out of this with sexy times, Carson Phillips, you can keep dreaming, because...oh my god!" Kurt suddenly shrieked, his chest rattling with laughter as Carson started tickling his sides. "Hahaha… fuck…. ha...stop it….oh my god I hate… ahahahaha…" he gasped, fighting and flailing in vain as Carson relentlessly continued his assault.


"Say the magic word and I'll stop," Carson said cheekily, varying his touch so that it was lighter and, therefore, more torturous.


"F...f-f-fuck you," Kurt gasped as he writhed underneath him.


"That's not the word, but I like your sass," Carson teased him, his hands never relenting even the slightest bit.


"S-s-s-stttttop."


"Magic word, Kurt. Say please."


"Ugh… PLEASE."


Carson ceased tickling him, and Kurt immediately seized the opportunity to whack him hard on the arm.


"Such a dick!" his twin repeated as he gasped for air.


"I did get you to smile, though," Carson pointed out with a grin. "You showed all your cute little teeth and everything."


"Fuck you," Kurt grumbled, and Carson suddenly noticed that he had yet to be pushed angrily aside so that Kurt could get up. The other boy wasn't making any effort at all to move, actually, and it took Carson a few seconds to register that his brother's hands were actually resting gently on his arms. Kurt's ocean-blue eyes were staring up at him, the irritation they had previously contained slowly softening into a look of begrudging adoration.


"I hope you learned your lesson," said Carson haughtily as he locked eyes with Kurt. "Never stand between me and chocolate. It won't end well."


A brief, amused smile crossed Kurt's lips. "God, shut up," he said with a sigh, surging his lips up to press against Carson's. A sudden, glowing warmth began to spread from the tips of Carson's toes to the roots of his hair as he got over his surprise and began melting into the kiss, returning it with equal fervor.


He felt Kurt grab his waist and pull him down, closer to his body, and Carson brought one hand up to cup the side of his twin's face as the kiss grew more intense, the meshing of lips and teeth causing him to fully blank out on anything that might have been happening around him. All he knew was that he and Kurt were so very close, and it felt so fucking awesome, and…


The ringing of a phone jarred him rudely out of the moment, and their lips parted as Kurt looked up at him guiltily.


"It's me," he said sheepishly, contorting himself so that he could retrieve the ringing phone from his jeans pocket as Carson sat up to give him room.


"Hi, Sebastian," Kurt said into the phone as he slid it open, and Carson quickly looked away so that Kurt couldn't see the fury that he was sure was probably clouding his face at the moment. God fucking dammit. I don't know how much more of Sebastian I can take. It's like he fucking KNOWS when I'm in a good mood and he has to swoop in and ruin it in order to feel alive, or something.


He was so busy thinking dark thoughts about Sebastian, he didn't even realize that Kurt had eventually hung up the phone until his brother was getting up off the couch and removing his apron, setting it down on the coffee table and running his fingers through his hair in the nearest mirror.


"That was Sebastian," he said, stating the obvious as he primped himself. "He tried to get creative with the Jello shots and fucked up, so he needs my help."


"It's Jello mix and vodka, how fucking hard can it be?" Carson grumbled irritably. "Hasn't he ever heard of Google?"


"Hey," Kurt protested gently. "He's our friend. And he's being cool enough to bring them to the party, the least I can do is help him. Or else we might end up with terrible looking shots, and everyone will laugh at us."


"Heaven forbid, we wouldn't want precious Sebastian to be made fun of, no," Carson said sarcastically.


Kurt sighed and turned away from the mirror. "You are so dramatic, honey. I'll only be gone a few hours." He crossed over to the sofa and leaned down, using his finger to prop Carson's chin up and make him lock eyes with him. "You wanna pick up where we left off after I get back?" he whispered seductively, placing a firm kiss on Carson's lips, and Carson shivered in spite of how irritated he was.


"You should get going," he said as a non-response, clearing his throat pointedly. "Wouldn't want to keep Sebastian waiting. I have homework to do," he added. "Research and shit."


Kurt gave him a careful look and sighed, standing up and heading back to the kitchen, where Carson heard him putting the mixing bowl in the refrigerator. "I'll be back soon, Carsey!" he called out, and the sound of the door opening and closing echoed throughout the apartment as Carson was finally left alone.


He sat there on the couch for what felt like a very long time, letting his mind wander to some very unpleasant places. He imagined Kurt and Sebastian in Sebastian's fancy fucking kitchen, giggling over the pan of jello, getting all touchy feely, offering each other sips of the vodka. He imagined them both getting drunk enough to lose any inhibition, letting their hands wander more, Sebastian thinking he'd landed the ultimate prize as their lips inevitably met. He imagined Sebastian leading his brother to the bedroom, and then he tried to stop thinking about it, because he felt like he was going to go insane if he dwelled on it for one more minute. He grabbed a pillow off the side of the couch and buried his face in it, letting out a loud, forceful scream that was muffled almost entirely by the fabric surrounding him.


Fucking Sebastian is ruining my life again, and I can't deal with this, I can't, I don't have it in me.


He needed a distraction, and he needed it yesterday. Preferably a chemical distraction, the better to allow his brain to focus on something that wasn't the idea of Sebastian Smythe trying to seduce his brother.


He had to get out.





"Ok," said Kurt, wiping his hands on a dish towel and nodding approvingly as Sebastian placed the finished Jello shots in the fridge, to set until the party the next night. "We now officially have a well-mixed variety of shots to suit every palate and personality. Though, I'm pretty sure the rainbow ones will be the biggest hit."


"No way, it has to be the orange slice ones," Sebastian argued as he shut the fridge door and met Kurt's eye with a sly grin. "They're definitely the prettiest. And I'm not at all saying that just because they were your idea."


Kurt snorted. "Ok, those have the extra presentation factor, true. Not that I think a bunch of drunk students will much care about that."


"Well, fuck them," said Sebastian dismissively. "Those shots are fabulous."


"Yes," Kurt agreed. His eyes caught a glance of the digital clock above the stove, and he winced as he realized how late it had gotten without him realizing it. "Uuuuungh," he groaned. "I should probably be getting home."


"Oh," said Sebastian, sounding slightly disappointed. "Yeah, I guess it's late. Let me just get my coat and I'll drive you, ok?"


"You don't have to, Seb. I can walk," Kurt insisted.


"Yeah, you could, but it's late, and it's cold, and it's dark, and god only knows what kind of weirdos and perverts are running about on the streets right now," Sebastian replied as he opened a hall closet and grabbed a jacket out of it. "I'll feel better if I know you got home safe."


"Aaaaw," teased Kurt. "Well, I was never one to refuse good, old fashioned chivalry."


"Good," said Sebastian with a smile as he grabbed his keys. "Come with me then, fair gentleman." He opened the apartment door and held it, waving Kurt out with one hand as he bowed his head.


"You're a fucking dork," laughed Kurt as he walked through the open door.


"I'll take that as a compliment," said Sebastian as he stepped outside and shut the door behind him. "Now, let's get you home before your McQueen turns to rags."


They made their way outside and into Sebastian's car, Kurt shooting off a text to Carson on the way to let him know he was coming home. He received no reply for the duration of the drive, but decided that his twin was probably in the shower or something. Or had his ringer off.


"Home sweet home," Sebastian announced when they finally pulled up in front of Kurt's building. Kurt undid his seatbelt and put his phone in his pocket as he turned to smile at him.


"Thanks for the lift," he said gratefully, leaning over to give Sebastian a small hug. He thought he heard the other boy gulp slightly as he returned the embrace.


"Any time," Sebastian replied as he hugged him back. "Thank you for helping me with the shots. I would have fucked them all to hell."


Kurt giggled as he pulled away from the hug and smiled at him. "No trouble. I'll see you tomorrow night, yeah?"


Sebastian nodded. "Yeah," he agreed. 'See you then."


Kurt opened the car door and got out, waving as Sebastian pulled the car away and onto the road. He shivered in the cool night air, suddenly grateful that he hadn't had to walk, and headed for his flat.


"I'm home!" he announced when he reached it at last and swung the door open. He stepped inside, closing the door behind him and hanging his coat in the small hall closet. The place was unusually quiet. He didn't even hear the usual quiet tapping of computer keys as Carson worked on an assignment.


"Carson?" he called out, peeking into the kitchen before heading into the living room. He found Carson in there, stretched out on the couch with his eyes closed, clearly fast asleep. Kurt smiled to himself, walking closer so he could gaze down at his twin's sleeping face. He always loved how angelic Carson seemed when he wasn't awake, his features relaxed into an adorable, perfect face that showed no hints of the usual frown that was always present during his waking hours, even if it was only slightly.


Kurt gingerly sat on the edge of the sofa, leaning down and stroking Carson's hair as he watched him sleep. Carson made a noise deep in his throat, and Kurt thought, at first, that it was just an average sleep noise. It took him a moment to notice the fact that his brother kept doing it, his shoulders convulsing as a guttural noise eminated from his throat. Kurt's stomach dropped, his mind beginning to panic as it registered that something was wrong.


"Carson," he said, getting up and kneeling to Carson's level so he could shake him. "Carson, wake up….. Carson!" he repeated, his voice getting increasingly loud as he was unable to make Carson respond to him, all the while his twin was making that awful choking noise.


Oh god, what if he IS choking? Kurt thought, in full blown panic mode now as he shook Carson harder and desperately tried to wake him up.


"Carson!" he cried out, tears starting to fall as desperation set in. "Carson, oh god, wake up!" He acted as quickly as possible, recalling all the first aid lessons he'd ever received in health class, and turned his brother over on his side. Carson seemed to finally respond to all the screaming and shaking, his face scrunching up as he leaned forward and vomited on the hard, wooden floor.


Kurt paused as he witnessed this scene, tears streaking his face as he silently thanked whatever was responsible for Carson's response. "Carson," he whispered, carefully reaching out to touch his brother's shoulder as Carson seemed to finally realize he was awake, making a face when he tasted the vomit in his mouth.


"Uuuugh," Carson groaned, flopping back onto the couch with a pained expression. "Fucking gross."


Relief flooded through Kurt as he rushed forward, wrapping Carson in a tight hug, heedless of the smell of vomit that clung to him. "Carson, oh my god, are you ok?" he asked tearfully, his mind refusing to entertain the thought of what might have happened if he'd arrived home any later.


"Ugh, Kurt, I'm fine, you're squishing me," Carson complained, and Kurt lessened his grip a bit while still refusing to let go.


"You should have told me if you were feeling sick," Kurt admonished him. "I would have stayed home."


"M'not sick," mumbled Carson weakly as he curled up on the couch in exhaustion. "Took too much, not sick."


His words were a trigger for Kurt to finally pull away, his eyes steely as he looked into Carson's face and began to put the pieces together. "What did you take?" he asked firmly.


"Just a bit," replied Carson, rubbing his face with his hand. "Just wanted to get a little high, ugh, but it was shit, it didn't work."


Anger quickly replaced the relief and leftover panic inside of Kurt as he suddenly realized exactly what had happened. Carson had taken too much of some fucking drug and passed out. And, apparently, had almost choked on his own vomit in the process.


If I'd come home any later….


"Carson, I can't believe you!" he exclaimed furiously as he stood up and glared down at his brother, who was holding his head in pain at the sudden loud noise. "Are you fucking stupid? What the hell did you take? You know what, I don't even want to know. How could you be such an idiot?"


"Stop yelling at me," Carson shouted back weakly.


"I will yell at you all I want, you could have fucking died, Carson!" shrieked Kurt, feeling nothing but blind fury. "You were fucking choking and you could have died. What would have happened if I hadn't gotten home in time to help you, huh?"


Carson glared up at him. "I don't know, Kurt, I guess probably Sebastian would have been waiting in the wings to comfort you for your loss."


"Don't drag Sebastian into this, Carson, this is about you. About us," Kurt added angrily. "It's about how you don't have even the slightest consideration for others, and even worse, you have none for yourself."


"Isn't it about Sebastian, though?" retorted Carson. "I need drugs just to cope with him constantly being around."


"God, what is your fucking problem with Sebastian?" shouted Kurt. "He's our friend."


Carson let out a rueful laugh. "Oh yeah, sure, he's such a friend," he said spitefully. "Such a friend, he eye fucks you every chance he gets and has probably already planned the fucking wedding. But yeah, I'm sure he totally sees you as a friend."


"He is my friend!" Kurt insisted, even if something about Carson's words made him slightly uncomfortable, and not just because he was pissed. "Nothing more than that."


"Really? Are you sure of that? You're constantly hanging out with him. Every time I turn around, there's Chipmunk Teeth all up in your ass," spat Carson. "Besides, the last time you were just friends with Sebastian, I seem to recall that you sucked his dick in front of everyone we knew."


"Oh my fucking god, Carson, that was years ago, I can't believe you're still bringing that up!" yelled Kurt, beyond pissed off now. "That was a mistake, I regretted it, and I've been fucking paying for it ever since, so don't try to throw that in my face when the real issue here is that you don't give a shit about anyone but yourself! And I doubt you even care about that."


"I care enough to have made some changes and cut out some of my worst habits, if you care. And you're seriously telling me you don't think of Sebastian as anything but a friend?" said Carson calmly. "Not even a little. Just super bestest friendsies all the way."


Kurt hesitated only a second before he glared at Carson and crossed his arms angrily. "Not that my friendship with Sebastian is any of your goddamn business, but no."


"Ok, you know what, I'm done with this conversation," muttered Carson as he stumbled to his feet, swaying a bit, and Kurt fought the urge to help him steady himself. "I have to shower and clean up all this shit."


"Fuck you, Carson!" Kurt screamed as Carson staggered away from him. Tears pricked at his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. He was too angry to cry. All he wanted to do was go to bed.


In the guest room.





The next day was awkward and tense between the boys, to say the least. Kurt was pissed and refusing to speak to him, and even though Carson did feel slightly guilty about making Kurt worry the night before, he was mostly still pissed off. What right did Kurt have to bitch about Carson not having any consideration for him, when he was constantly spending huge amounts of time hanging around the same guy who had ruined their relationship the first time? Such as it had been, anyway.


And, well. Maybe he was still being slightly unfair, since it wasn't like he and Kurt had an official thing going on right now, either.


But I've been trying. I've been getting there. It's taken a lot of time, but I was getting there.


Ok, so he was pissed off and confused.


The planned party, however, didn't care about his feelings, so by the time it began that night, he was determined to at least try to enjoy himself. He even counted it as a small miracle that Sebastian had arrived slightly after a bunch of other people, meaning that Carson hadn't had to deal with it being just the three of them in the apartment, which would have been awkward as fuck after last night.


Maybe Kurt would have loosened up enough afterwards for them to, sort of, forget the fight had even happened. Maybe.


Apparently, Kurt's plan seemed to go a bit beyond "loosening up," because he had started drinking almost as soon as the first guest arrived, and hadn't stopped since.


"I feel alive!" he shouted gleefully somewhere around the party's third hour, a bottle of vodka swinging from one hand as he danced around in clumsy, staggering circles. Carson caught a glimpse of Sebastian watching him with amusement, and the familiar jealousy started brewing within him as he grabbed a Jello shot to deal with it.


"Great party, Carson," said Hayley as she sidled up to him, red cup in hand, and patted him on the arm. "M'so drunk. Anyone... innyone ever tell you that you have, like, super awesome muscles? Cause damn."


Carson ignored her, focusing all his attention on Kurt, who was swinging the now empty vodka bottle around lazily, humming under his breath as Sebastian said something to him that made him giggle and wrap his arms slackly around the other boy's neck. Of course when he gets drunk the first thing he does is hang all over Sebastian. Why am I not even surprised?


He watched as his brother abruptly let go of Sebastian and climbed onto the coffee table, staggering around for a minute as he had difficulty keeping his balance. "Hey… hey ever...everyone, I'mma….I'mma do a thing that's gonna fucking freak you out," Kurt announced to the room, his words slurring together as he struggled not to fall. "I'mma climb that chandelier."


Considering that they didn't have a chandelier, Carson was instantly alarmed and watched, horrified, as Kurt tried bending his knees to grab at an invisible chandelier hanging from the ceiling. He shoved his drink cup at Hayley and took off across the room, arriving at the coffee table just in time to catch his falling twin, who landed in his arms with a giggle.


"I climbed the chandelier," Kurt said with a snort as Carson tried to keep him upright. He was starting to get worried, if he was being truthful with himself. He'd never seen Kurt this drunk before, and the indication that his brother didn't appear to have any immediate plans to stop drinking made him imagine all sorts of horrible scenarios.


"Kurt, I think maybe you've had enough to drink," said Carson as he led his brother over to the couch, Sebastian right behind them. "Why don't you sit down, hmm?"


Kurt gave him an unfocused glare and yanked himself away as best he could. "Fuck off, Crewson," he ordered him drunkenly. "I don't hafta listen to you, or… or nothin'." He pointed a finger at Carson, as if accusing him of something, before stumbling back over to the liquor table and pouring himself another drink, a lot of which ended up on the table and not in the cup.


Carson sighed and gave up. If Kurt wanted to get stupidly drunk and have the mother of all hangovers in the morning, he could be his guest. It wasn't like much could happen to him when he was already at home. Hell, Carson figured he should probably record as much of his brother's drunken antics on video as he could. It was a big brother's job, after all, to make sure his little brother was properly embarrassed to death after a night of bad decisions. It could be one of those things they still laughed about when they were old and gray, long after their fight had been forgotten. He pulled out his phone and activated the videocamera as Kurt grabbed a nearby decorative pillow and started waltzing with it.


"IIIIIII knooooow you, I something something once upon a dreeeeeam," Kurt sang sweetly to the pillow as the people around him giggled at the sight. Carson spent the better part of an hour letting his phone capture every moment as Kurt kept right on drinking, his drunkenness increasing to the point where he was barely making any sense as various people tried to engage him in conversation.


"Like… you know, he, like… hardly ever likes to cuddle me after sex, and I'm just like…. the fuck….the fuck?" he slurred, actual tears streaming down his face, in response to one of his friends, who had asked a completely unrelated question and looked extremely uncomfortable. "Bitch I know you love me, stop… stop being a shitheel about it, you know, just, ugh…" he trailed off, giving his unfortunate friend what appeared to be meant as a slap, but which couldn't have been more than a light tap, at the most.


Carson shook his head and watched through his camera screen as Sebastian approached Kurt once again, whose emotions seemingly turned on a dime as he gave him a big grin and threw himself at him.


"Sebbyyyy," he crooned. "Sebby liked to cuddle, didn't you…. uuugh, Seb… Seburdom, you don't smell nice," he added, his face suddenly contorting, as if he were going to be sick. "I don't feel good."


Sebastian looked alarmed. "Are you going to be sick?"


"I don't… I… ugh," Kurt groaned, going slack as Sebastian caught him and held him upright.


"Kurt… Kurt, babe, you're drunk, ok? Can you hear me?" Sebastian asked worriedly.


"Pancakes," replied Kurt, as Carson let out an amused snort.


"What?" asked Sebastian, confused.


"Rachel can't have the solo, fuck her," Kurt replied in a murmur as Sebastian lost his grip even further because Kurt was clearly about to pass out.


"Kurt… Kur... Kurt, can you hear me?" he asked again, shaking Kurt a little. "Kurt? Kurt, you're going to pass out, we have to get you into…. Kurt? Kurt!" Sebastian glanced around the room, his eyes locking on Carson's as he waved him over. Carson rolled his eyes and crossed the room, phone securely in hand. He might as well film everything, for posterity's sake.


"You rang?" he said dryly over the music blasting from the speakers as he approached Sebastian and his nearly unconscious twin.


"He's too drunk, we have to get him into a cold shower," Sebastian said. "Could you… for fuck's sake, why are you filming me?"


"I'm not filming you, I'm filming him," Carson replied, indicating Kurt. "He's never been this drunk off his ass before, it's going to be hilarious when he's sober again."


"Don't you think it's a little inconsiderate to be filming him like this?" asked Sebastian irritably as his grip on Kurt slipped.


"No, not really," said Carson. "I've been filmed high on shrooms, it doesn't really get worse than that. This is quaint by comparison."


Sebastian sighed. "Can you stop being a dick for five minutes and help me get him into the bathtub? I'm fucking serious, he needs cold water, he's like two seconds away from losing consciousness."


"And I think he'll be fine," Carson argued. "All you want is to see him wet. Besides, he doesn't want help, he told me to fuck off earlier."


"Ugh, fine, fuck it, I'll do it myself," Sebastian snapped in frustration. He placed his hands under Kurt's arms and clasped them around his chest, trying his best to drag the other boy's dead and weight in the direction of the bathroom as Carson followed behind him, filming every second. It took about ten minutes for Sebastian to successfully drag Kurt into the bathroom and plop him into the tub, by which point Carson was, admittedly, just a little bit worried about what was going to happen when Kurt felt the cold water hit him.


"Will you stop fucking filming?" Sebastian snapped as he fumbled with the water taps.


"Will you just fuck off?" retorted Carson. He watched as Sebastian angled the shower head and successfully got the water started. Drops of cold water began descending on Kurt, whose eyes shot open as he screamed and flailed.


"Aaaaaaagh," he shrieked, trying desperately to climb out of the tub as Sebastian held him in place.


"I know it's cold, Kurt, I know, I'm so sorry," Sebastian apologized. "It's for your own good."


"Let me out!" Kurt yelled, beginning to whimper as he struggled against Sebastian's grip. "Let me out, it hurts, let me out now!"


"Just for another minute, Kurt, I promise," Sebastian replied, his voice shaking.


"I don't feel good," Kurt cried. His eyes caught a glimpse of Carson and he flailed his limbs more, as if he were trying to throw himself at him. "Carson, he's trying to drown me," he whimpered pathetically, his lips forming an unhappy pout. "Help me!"


Sebastian had apparently decided that the water had done its job and turned the tap off, leaving Kurt sitting in the bathtub, soaked through to the bone and letting out small, anguished cries.


"I'm freezing," he sobbed.


"Shhh, babe, I know," Sebastian soothed as he stroked Kurt's hair. The sound of him referring to his twin as "babe" almost made Carson want to shove the camera up his ass. No one calls him babe but me, asshole.


Sebastian finally seemed to remember that Carson was in the room. "I have to go get him a towel," he said. "Stay with him and don't be a shithead." He made his exit and Carson cautiously approached the tub, where Kurt fixed him with a look that wasn't entirely unlike that of a kicked puppy.


"I'm cold," he complained. "You let him drown me," he added accusingly.


Carson sighed, not sure how to answer that one. Kurt's eyes roamed the bathroom, catching on something sitting on the nearby sink, which turned out to be someone's abandoned drink. "Gimme that!" he demanded, pointing to it eagerly.


"You don't need-"


"GIMME IT."


Carson sighed. Whatever. A little bit more won't kill him. He took hold of the cup and handed it to Kurt, who couldn't quite manage to hold it himself, so Carson helped him, holding it up to his mouth while he drank. It was actually sort of comical, the way his twin downed almost all of it in one gulp and then let out a gigantic belch, and Carson couldn't fucking wait to show him that part of the video later.


"Oh my fucking god," said Sebastian, who had returned with the towel and looked boiling mad as he took in the scene in front of him. "You are the absolute worst, Carson. I leave you alone with him for two minutes and you give him more alcohol? What the fuck is wrong with you?"


Carson stood and met Sebastian's anger-filled green eyes with his own, resolute blue ones. "Here comes Sebastian to be the big hero," he said mockingly, not bothering to defend himself. "Bet you're eating this up, having Kurt needing you, huh?"


Sebastian glared at him. "Turn that camera off. I have to take care of my… my friend."


"You can't tell me what to do."


"Turn it off NOW," Sebastian ordered firmly. "Your brother is drunk and vulnerable, and filming him like this makes you an asshole. I'm not going to let you do it. Turn. It. Off."


Carson considered arguing, but decided it wasn't worth it. He turned the phone off and shoved it back in his pocket as Sebastian gave him one more glare and turned his attention to Kurt. He took in the sight of Kurt being carefully wrapped in the towel by Sebastian, who was whispering encouraging things into his ear as he helped him out of the tub, and something inside suddenly hurt like hell.


He left the bathroom, spending the rest of the party sitting in the corner of the living room with his laptop, watching everybody else enjoy themselves. He got back up only once, to peek in on Kurt in the bedroom, and he instantly wished he hadn't. His brother had been curled up in a ball, wearing pajamas that Sebastian had clearly helped him into, while Sebastian himself lay beside him on his side and watched him sleep. It would have looked sweet if it didn't make Carson feel so ill.


Ugh. This is just another incident of bullshit to add to the pile. After the weekend everything will probably go back to normal. Kurt will forget the fight, we'll have a good laugh about how drunk he got, and everything will be fine.


Speaking of which


He settled back down with his laptop, plugging in his phone and transferring the various video parts he had captured throughout the night. He opened them in a video editor, laughing to himself as he edited them together, leaving out the majority of the parts that heavily featured Sebastian. He added music and special effects sounds as the party died down around him, his focus entirely concentrated on making a video suitable for Youtube.


Kurt's gonna be so embarrassed when he sees himself on this thing, oh my god. It's my duty as his older brother to make sure he never lives this down.


We'll be ok. Sebastian will fuck off, and we'll be alright.





It would have been a severe understatement to say that Kurt felt like shit when he finally, completely woke up, almost an entire day after the party had ended. It was probably more accurate to say he felt like reincarnated roadkill, even though, by some miracle, he had managed to sleep through his hangover.


At first, he remembered almost nothing, but after he'd stumbled into the bathroom and splashed some water on his face, a glimpse of himself in the mirror made all the memories come rushing back. Most of them, anyway. He definitely remembered getting more plastered than he ever had before. He was sure he had danced on a table at some point. He was definitely sure that something had happened that involved freezing cold water. Sebastian was involved, somehow. He remembered drinking so much in the first place because he was so fucking pissed off at Carson.


Ugh. Carson.


Kurt placed some toothpaste on his brush, thinking over the fight he'd had with Carson the night before the party as he brushed his teeth. He was still kind of pissed off what had been said, but then again, he had been angry at the time and hadn't exactly been nice, either. Plus, Carson was still shaking off the effects of whatever he'd taken beforehand. What Kurt was pissed off about more than anything else was the drugs, really.


It wasn't that he necessarily minded Carson doing harmless drugs, it was just that, if he was branching off into shit that could legitimately kill him, Kurt didn't think he could handle the constant worry. Surely Carson had to understand that, right? Maybe we should have a calmer talk later.


He spit into the sink and rinsed his toothbrush off, placing it back in the holder as he wandered out into the main part of the flat in search of his twin. He was greeted with an empty apartment and a note pinned to the refrigerator that said "We ran out of milk. Don't panic if you wake up while I'm out, I'll be back in a bit. Love, Carson."


Kurt smiled at the note and wandered out into the living room, suddenly very bored. He grabbed his laptop from its spot on one of the end tables and flipped it open, logging into Facebook to kill time while he waited for Carson to get back.


To his surprise, he was greeted with a bright red "45" on his notification indicator, and his curiosity was piqued as he wondered what the hell was going on. Had someone died or something? He clicked the notifications toolbar, all of which were informing him that people had written something on his wall. He clicked his own profile, quickly scanning the postings with increasing confusion.


"Gonna grab the chandelier" lmfao


How's your relationship with your pillow? :D


"He never cuddles me after sex" omfg I'm never gonna stop laughing jfc



Kurt frowned, trying hard to figure out what the fuck any of it meant and why it was being shared with him. He paused as he scrolled by a video that had been posted to his wall by one of his friends from theater class, and clicked it.


And suddenly, everything was crystal clear as Kurt watched, horrified, while his drunk self on the video made all the previous postings make so much sense. And as if he wasn't humiliated enough, he felt like he'd been stabbed when he realized who had posted the video on Youtube in the first place.


"I'm hoooome," Carson called out just then, pushing the apartment door open and letting himself inside as Kurt struggled to breathe normally. "Oh, good, you're finally up. Thought you'd sleep until Obama was out of office."


"I'm up," Kurt agreed weakly, unable to take his eyes off the quotes on his page, mocking him with the thought of just how humiliating it was going to be to face these people at school on Monday.


"It's about time," Carson said as he put the milk away and walked into the living room. "You got so fucking drunk, oh my god. It was hilarious. I got it on video, you should let me sh-"


"I've seen it," Kurt said shortly.


"Huh?"


"I said, I've seen it," Kurt repeated, his eyes flashing with fury as he locked them on Carson's. "It was kind of hard to avoid it, because it and quotes from it are all over my fucking Facebook wall." He angrily turned the laptop toward Carson, who peered down at it and shrugged.


"So everyone thought it was funny. What's the big deal?"


"What's the big deal?" Kurt exclaimed. "I can't believe you uploaded this without asking me! How am I supposed to show my face in school this week? I'm humiliated!" he cried.


Carson looked genuinely confused. "Kurt, it's just a video, calm down. I've been on Youtube tripping balls on shrooms. Everyone had a laugh and forgot about it in like a week."


"But I didn't do that to you!" Kurt protested angrily, all resolve to have a calmer conversation flying right out the window as he felt his anger from before the party experience a sudden resurgance. "Santana did! I would never upload something like that about you without asking. I wouldn't embarrass you like that, but clearly you do not have the same respect for me."


Carson just stood there silently for a moment as Kurt grew more and more angry at his utter lack of any compassion whatsoever. "I just… I thought it was funny."


"FUNNY?" shrieked Kurt. "It's not fucking funny, Carson. I was close to passing out and Sebastian was the only one helping me."


"I tried helping you," Carson shot back irritably. "And you told me to fuck off. But I guess it only counts if it's Big Hero Sebastian doing the helping, right?"


"Oh, for fuck's sake, Carson, does every argument we have need to come back around to Sebastian?" Kurt snapped. "Don't use him to disguise the fact that sometimes you can be the most inconsiderate dickhead I've ever met."


"I can be inconsiderate?" retorted Carson. "You're one to fucking talk, Kurt. You aren't exactly a saint, either. I've been more considerate than you even know lately."


"Yes, because humiliating your own brother on the internet with a viral video is such a gentlemanly thing to do," yelled Kurt.


"It's NOT THAT BIG A DEAL," screamed Carson. "I HONESTLY DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD PISS YOU OFF SO MUCH."


"WELL IT DID!" yelled Kurt right back. "And it just goes to show how much you really don't care about anyone but yourself., and how much I really don't mean to you. I am done, Carson. I am so fucking done!" He stormed back into the bedroom, yanking a duffel bag out of the closet and tossing clothes into it haphazardly, along with shoes and socks, before he marched into the bathroom and threw his toothbrush and half his skin products on top of the lot.


"Kurt, what the fuck are you doing?"


"I can't stay here," Kurt snapped, pulling the bag closed and storming through the apartment.


'Where are you going?" demanded Carson.


"I don't fucking know, Carson, but I can't be near you right now," Kurt declared, trying to fight the urge to start crying. Thankfully, his blind, white-hot anger was making it difficult to cry. He paused when he reached the door, looking carefully at Carson, who had an odd, unreadable expression on his face. Like he was shocked that kurt actually had the balls to leave, probably.


"Kurt," he started to say, but Kurt was in no mood to hear it.


"Leave me alone, Carson," he snapped, his heart breaking from having to take such a tone with him. "I just…. I can't be here right now. Don't follow me." He yanked the door open and slammed it behind him, slumping up against it for a moment to collect his thoughts. He half expected Carson to ignore his request and follow him anyway, either to continue the fight or beg him to stay, but of course, neither one happened. Kurt made his way quickly out of the building and wandered the street for a bit, unsure of what his plan was, but knowing that he couldn't go home, at least not for that night.


And, really, there was only one place he could think of to go. He hailed a taxi and had the driver take him to the familiar address, and even as he headed for the correct apartment he felt something nagging at the back of his mind, something that sounded suspiciously like "Carson had a point, didn't he?"


He knocked quickly on the door, and Sebastian did a poor job of hiding his surprise when he realized that Kurt was holding luggage.


"Kurt?" he asked carefully.


Kurt took a shaky breath, finally letting the tears fall that had been threatening to since he stormed out.


"Can I stay here tonight?" he asked tearfully.





He'll come back.


I mean, he has to, right?


I didn't mean to piss him off that much. I really didn't think he'd mind. I didn't really mind when my shrooms video got posted. Just a little annoyed, but, like… it wasn't the end of the world or anything. And this was tamer than that.


I only wanted to show him how hilarious it was.


I wanted him to forget the fight.


I didn't want this. I DON'T want this.


He isn't answering his phone. Oh god, what if he's dead? Or worse, what if he's with Sebastian?


What if he never speaks to me again?


He'll come home soon, right? He wouldn't just stay away all night, he'll come back, we'll talk about it, it will blow over, and everything will be like it was.


Please?


The hours ticked by as Carson waited and waited on the sofa for Kurt to show up, to walk through the door still pissed but ready to talk, and Carson would let him, he would, because he really hadn't intended for things to blow up as they had.


Eventually, his eyelids started to grow heavy, but he refused to give up hope.


11 pm. Midnight. 1am.


And still, Kurt didn't appear.


I think I might have fucked up, he thought to himself as he drifted off into a fitful sleep, alone in the empty flat.

End Notes:
Author's Chapter Notes:

I know this fic has been super angsty, but we're getting somewhere with it, I promise. Just bear with us a bit longer :) Kurson have a lot of shit to work through.


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