Sept. 15, 2013, 7 p.m.
Beneath The Mask You Wear: Chapter 29
E - Words: 9,635 - Last Updated: Sep 15, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 36/? - Created: Sep 15, 2013 - Updated: Sep 15, 2013 230 0 0 0 0
The first faint streaks of dawn began to peek through the darkness, creating a bluish-gray sky outside the hotel room window as Kurt lay in bed, a blissful smile on his lips as he basked in the afterglow of his and Carson's lovemaking. Well….. fucking, as Carson would probably put it. If he were awake, that is, instead of curled up in a ball of warm, gently breathing cuteness next to him, one arm slung over Kurt's waist and his head half resting itself on Kurt's chest, his mouth gaping slightly open in his slumber.
Yes, he'd definitely refer to it as just fucking, but his birthday present suggested otherwise. Kurt smiled to himself as he reached over to the bedside table and retrieved the precious key, turning it over in his hand as he relived the exuberant elation he'd felt the moment he'd opened the wrappings and saw it resting inside. Of course, Carson had acted like it was no big deal, like he was just begrudgingly giving his annoying brother a place to stay and nothing more. But his eyes, the way they carefully watched as Kurt opened the key, like he was hoping for an excited reaction but didn't want to let on to Kurt just how eager he was. His eyes were frequently a window into whatever his brother was really thinking, and this had been no exception. This wasn't just Carson surrendering, this was Carson making a conscious decision that he wanted Kurt to live with him. Actually wanted him.
And that was the best birthday present Kurt could have ever asked for.
I promise, Carson, you won't regret this. I'll be the best roommate I know how to be. Well, obviously. There aren't too many roommates who will cook you breakfast and suck your dick, so you're actually getting the best end of this deal.
"Unnnnngh," came an exhausted groan from beside him, and Kurt looked down at Carson, who was beginning to stir lazily, burying his face in the crook of Kurt's neck as he let out a warm breath that smelled of stale alcohol. Not the best smell in the world, but Kurt was willing to forgive it. He was in a romantic enough mood to let anything slide.
"Morning, sunshine," he said softly, gently stroking Carson's hair with one hand as he looked down at his twin's half-asleep face.
"Mmmph," grumbled Carson in reply, his voice muffled by Kurt's skin.
"Sleep well?" asked Kurt.
"Like ass," said Carson grumpily, even though it came out sounding more like a grunt than actual words. "Ugh, my head is pounding."
"Well, you drank your weight in liquor last night, honey," Kurt pointed out, wrapping one arm tenderly around Carson and holding him a bit closer. "You knew the morning wasn't going to be roses."
"Worth it, though," Carson murmured sleepily. "Loosened me up. Helped me relax. But my head feels like Rachel Berry's soul."
Kurt smiled, letting out a snort at the comparison. "It's just a hangover. It'll pass."
"Hey, Kurt?"
"Hmm?"
"Did I tell you happy birthday last night?" asked Carson, throwing Kurt for a loop.
"Um…. yeah, I think so," Kurt assured him. "You did give me a key to our apartment and all."
"Oh yeah," said Carson, as if he were just remembering that fact.
"You didn't give it to me just because you were drunk off your ass, did you?" Kurt teased. "Because I'm not giving it back."
Carson snorted, grimacing in pain as he did so, one hand flying up to hold his head. "Nah. I looked up the dorms at your university online. They looked woefully inadequate. You may be an annoying little shit, but you don't deserve to have to share a tiny-ass room with an obnoxious roommate."
Kurt grinned. "Aaaaw, you care about me."
"Ugh, Kurt, don't get all sentimental on me, alright? All I'm saying is that there isn't room in one dorm room for two divas. Really, by letting you be my obnoxious roommate, I'm actually doing your potential college roommate a favor. I am so selfless."
Kurt smiled, leaning down to place a soft kiss on Carson's forehead. "Excuse it however you want, but you care about me and want me around because you would miss me. And that's adorable."
"Stoooooooop," Carson protested.
"You love me."
"Enouuuuugh."
"You couldn't stand to be without me."
"Kurt, I swear to god, if you don't stop talking I'm not gonna fuck you for, like, a month."
Kurt snorted. "As if. Good luck with that, babe."
"I mean it."
"Sure."
Carson groaned in pain, using one hand to rub his forehead as he shifted his weight in the bed. "Seriously, my head hurts like fuck."
Kurt gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. "Aaaw, my poor baby. I think we brought the headache pills with us, just in case. Want me to get you some?"
"You're an angel. Yes."
Kurt squealed. "You called me an angel!"
"Kurt, get the pills or I'm taking my key back."
"Ok, ok. Grumpypuss," Kurt muttered, pulling the covers off himself and getting out of bed. He rooted around on the floor for his pants, pulling them on just in case Sebastian was wandering around, and headed for the suite's living room, where the rest of their luggage had been left on the two cushy sofas. He reached for one of his own bags and started unzipping and searching through it, his mind full of happy plans.
"Morning."
Kurt jumped, turning around to see Sebastian perched on one of the lush window seats overlooking the awakening city. He was still wearing the clothes he'd worn the previous night and looked excruciatingly tired, and Kurt wondered if he had even slept at all.
"Morning," he replied with a smile. "You're up early."
"So are you," said Sebastian, returning the smile wearily. "Did you sleep well? Was the bed comfortable enough?"
"Oh, it was fine," Kurt assured him. "Carson and I slept like babies." He felt his fingers brush against the pill bottle and retrieved it from the bag, holding it up triumphantly. "Found it."
"He's hungover, isn't he?" said Sebastian, eyeing the bottle in Kurt's hand.
"Yeah," Kurt said with a shrug. "I always tell him not to drink so much. He gets the worst headaches afterwards, but he never listens to me. I don't know, maybe he will, now that we'll definitely be living together in the fall," he added excitedly, eager to share his good news with someone who would understand.
"What?" asked Sebastian, blinking at him in confusion for a second.
"He gave me a key!" Kurt squealed. "He's found a flat and he wants us to live together. I don't even have to force my way in!"
Sebastian's face took on an odd expression that looked a bit like sadness, but he was probably just tired. "Oh, wow, that… that's um… that's great," he finally stammered out with a small smile, his gaze wandering absently out the window in front of him as he didn't quite meet Kurt's eyes. "That's awesome. See? I told you he'd come around."
"You were right," Kurt agreed with a nod, crossing over to Sebastian and wrapping him in a friendly hug. "Thank you."
"For what?" asked Sebastian, hugging him back gently.
"For everything," Kurt replied. "This birthday weekend, this room, the present, being an ear for me to vent my problems to, just…. just everything. I'm really glad we're friends again and everything is kind of going back to normal. You know?"
"I know," said Sebastian into his ear, and his voice sounded almost like it was on the verge of cracking with exhaustion. "I'm glad, too."
"You sound tired, sweetie," Kurt said, pulling away from the hug and looking into Sebastian's dark circled eyes. "Didn't you sleep at all? We… oh god, we didn't keep you up, or…?"
"No!" Sebastian insisted, shaking his head vigorously. "No, no, nothing like…. like that. I just couldn't sleep. That's all. I spent the night here, looking at the city lights. Just to think for a bit, you know?"
Kurt bit his lip uncertainly. "You should sleep."
"I'm really ok," Sebastian insisted. "I don't want to miss the whole day. We should go out and see the town today. Just the… the three of us."
"Well, I did want to go sightseeing," Kurt agreed, nodding. "But are you sure you don't want to at least nap? It's early, still."
"Kuuuuuurt, did you find the pills?" came a whining voice from behind them, and Kurt turned to see Carson stumbling into the room, completely nude and rubbing his temples as he winced in pain.
"Yeah, I found them," said Kurt, holding up the bottle and shaking it for emphasis. "You wanna go lay back down in bed? I'll bring them to you in a minute."
"Nah, I'm already up," said Carson, taking the bottle from him and bringing it over to the mini bar, where he found a small bottle of water. Kurt noticed Sebastian quickly avert his eyes away from the nudity, fixing them instead squarely out the window with an unreadable look on his face.
"Carson, couldn't you have put on pants before you came out here?" asked Kurt in exasperation.
"What for?" asked Carson, shaking out two pills into his hand from the bottle. "Are we expecting the Queen to come visiting?"
"Well, we do have a friend here," Kurt pointed out, nodding in Sebastian's direction.
"So what? It's Sebastian. Big deal," said Carson with a roll of his eyes. "There isn't anything here he hasn't seen, touched, and/or put in his mouth before."
Kurt crossed his arms at him, the corner of his eye catching a glimpse of Sebastian's reddening cheeks at Carson's outburst.
"Still," grumbled Kurt. He didn't exactly like to be reminded how many times Carson and Sebastian had slept together, even though he had put it behind him. Sebastian looked just as uncomfortable, and Kurt saw him cast a cautious glance in his direction, as if he were hoping that Kurt wouldn't hold Carson's words against him.
"Yeah, yeah, keep your hair on," mumbled Carson through the pills in his mouth as he took a swig of water to wash them down. "I'll put pants on in a minute. But you should both feel lucky that you're able to feast your eyes upon this body. That's not a privilege afforded to everyone, you know."
"Yeah, not unless they have big, fat wallets," Sebastian piped up.
"Do I detect a note of jealousy over there, Sebby?" asked Carson with a sarcastic grin.
"No, just amusement at a funny joke," retorted Sebastian.
"I don't recall hearing any amusement when it was your wallet I was-"
"Oh my god, both of you, quit it," snapped Kurt. "Can't we get along? This is a beautiful day, let's not snipe at each other."
Sebastian sighed and got up off the window seat, standing up and leaning against the wall. "You're right, Kurt. Carson, I'm sorry I made a joke about your job."
"Eh, it's whatever," said Carson with a shrug.
"Anyway," Sebastian continued after a moment of silence, "Kurt was telling me that you gave him a key last night and you're going to let him live with you?"
"Yeah," replied Carson, instantly taking on a look of smug satisfaction. "I thought it would just be easier to have him around. You know, in case of a sex emergency."
"Carsoooon," Kurt protested with a blush as Sebastian's eyes narrowed slightly.
"Well, um…. I'm… happy for you?" Sebastian offered, his voice carefully measured and calm. "You know, that at least you both will be with someone you know and are comfortable with and… and stuff."
"I'm just happy I don't have to live in a gross dorm," Kurt piped up cheerfully. "Oh, Carson, is the flat close? Could we go see it while we're here?"
Sebastian turned to Carson as well, crossing his arms casually. "Yeah, Carson, can we? I'm extremely curious about this apartment of yours."
"I bet," said Carson.
"Pleeeeeeease, Carson?" Kurt pleaded, giving Carson the pout that never failed to get him his own way sooner or later. "I wanna start planning how to decorate."
"Who said anything about decorating?" Carson protested. "I said you could live there, not transform it into Buckingham Palace."
"Don't be dumb, Carson, you know I live to decorate," said Kurt, amused. "Come oooon, I wanna see our flat."
Carson sighed. "Fine, whatever. You're making my headache worse, so ok."
"Eeep!" Kurt squeaked, bouncing excitedly on the balls of his feet.
"Let's do it in a few hours," Sebastian suggested. "We can go see the place, and then find someplace to eat lunch before we start wandering the city."
"Yes!" agreed Kurt enthusiastically.
"I'm clearly outnumbered, so sure, why not," Carson added, shoving a chocolate from the complimentary candy bowl into his mouth. "Sebastian should get some sleep first, he looks like hell."
Sebastian rolled his eyes and headed into his own bedroom, closing the door behind him and leaving the twins alone in the lounge.
"You don't have to be a dick to him," Kurt admonished Carson.
"I'm a dick, Kurt, that's what I do," said Carson. "You can either learn to live with it, or try to sneak drugs into my food like Mom, but either way, I was born a dick and I'm most likely going to die a dick."
Kurt just sighed, watching as Carson took three more chocolates out of the bowl and shoved them in his mouth at the same time. "What am I going to do with you?"
"A lot of filthy things, once we're in our new flat," replied Carson. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a hangover to nurse before we go out."
Three hours later, the twins and Sebastian were pulling up to the outside of a very nice looking building in a gorgeous part of town, the red brick exterior and the beautifully manicured gardens practically calling Kurt home as he unbuckled his seatbelt and gaped at the structure.
"Is this seriously where our flat is?" he exclaimed excitedly as he scrambled out of the car, Sebastian right behind him as Carson turned off the engine.
"Yep, this is it. Flat sweet flat," Carson replied, pocketing the car keys and sidling up to Kurt's side. "A bit nicer than the building we're in now, isn't it?"
"It is," Kurt agreed. "Are you sure we can afford this?"
"Trust me, I can definitely afford this place," Carson assured him proudly. "Some guy is subletting it while he goes tooling around the mountains of Africa or wherever with a backpack full of dreams and a prayer. So it's ours for at least the next year. We can officially move in next month, if you like. After graduation and everything is done."
Kurt grinned at him and turned his key over in his hand excitedly. "Isn't the building gorgeous, Sebastian?" he asked the boy behind him.
"Beautiful," replied Sebastian, even though he was looking at Kurt and not the building.
"Alright, let's go," said Carson, leading the way into the building as Kurt and Sebastian followed behind him. "We're on the sixth floor, almost to the top." Kurt briefly took in the sight of the beautiful marble flooring in the building's lobby before he followed his twin into a nearby lift and watched him press the giant, glowing number 6 on the row of buttons.
"So, is this place a two-bedroom, or…?" asked Sebastian casually while they waited for the elevator to take them to their destination.
"It's got one nice, big bedroom, and a smaller bedroom," answered Carson. "I imagine Kurt and I will both be sleeping in the big bedroom quite a bit, so no need to worry about the smaller bedroom, although it isn't exactly a closet."
The elevator doors opened, and all three stepped out, Carson leading them down a large hallway that reminded Kurt of something out of that one horror movie he'd watched once about the haunted hotel.
"Here we are," Carson announced when they'd reached the very end of the hall and were facing an ornate, wooden door, which he stuck a key into and turned. "Welcome home."
Kurt stepped inside and couldn't contain a gasp as he took in the sight before his eyes. The flat was absolutely, devastatingly beautiful, with slate floors, white carpeting, and creamy, yellow walls decorated with fancy molding along the borders. The flat was fully furnished, and some of the furniture Kurt could see, even from the foyer, looked like it belonged in one of the fanciest stores in London. This was no common flat. This was definitely a rich person's flat.
"Oh, wow," he breathed out as he stepped further inside. "Carson, this is gorgeous!"
"I thought you might like it," said Carson approvingly. "In there's the kitchen, the left is the living room, there's a junk room over in the corner there that could probably be used as an office, and way down the end of that hallway over there are the bedrooms. And they're already furnished, as well, like the rest of the place."
"Oh my goooood," said Kurt in awe as he tried to take everything in at once. "Oh my god, this is too fancy, doesn't this cost a fortune?"
"Actually, not really," said Carson. "It's only a bit more than what the flat we're in now costs, since it's a sublet. Did I do well, or didn't I?"
"Where's the alarm system?" asked Sebastian, speaking the first words he'd spoken since they'd entered the building. "It's a nice place, but is it safe?"
Carson sighed. "There's generally a doorman, Sebastian, and why do you even care about an alarm system?"
"Well K…. you guys are my…. my friends, I just want to see that you're safe, that's all," replied Sebastian awkwardly. "Is that a crime?"
"I assure you, you don't have to worry. About anyone," Carson said pointedly. "We will be fine."
Kurt wandered away from them, heading down the long hallway toward the bedrooms. He saw one average sized one, and a much larger, grander one when he peeked through the neighboring doorway. It came complete with its own bathroom, a king-sized bed, a giant wardrobe, a window seat, and a huge, flat-screen television, among a host of other amenities.
"That's the master bedroom," said Carson, coming up behind him. "I figure we'll sleep in there most of the time, and then when Max visits he can sleep in the smaller room."
"That works," Kurt murmured, still taking in sights with awe and wonder. "God, I can't believe this place is ours. Well… kind of ours. What are you going to do with the other furniture in our flat now? Grandma's sofa and stuff?"
"Store it for a while, I suppose," answered Carson. "It's Grandma's stuff, I don't want to get rid of it."
"You could keep it at my house," Sebastian offered. "We have plenty of rooms we aren't using, I don't think anyone will care."
"No, thanks," said Carson, at the same time as Kurt said "That would be great!" The twins exchanged a look as Sebastian shrugged his shoulders.
"It really isn't that big of a deal," he insisted. "It'll save you the cost of storage, at any rate. That shit can get super expensive."
"I can afford it, though," muttered Carson.
"I know you can, Carson, but don't you think it would be nice to save a bit of money in case of emergencies?" Kurt pointed out gently. "I mean, Seb is right, it can get really expensive to rent a storage unit."
Carson sighed, clearly accepting defeat when he saw it. "Fine. Thank you, Sebastian."
"Yes, thank you," Kurt added.
"My pleasure," said Sebastian brightly.
"I bet," muttered Carson under his breath.
They spent a bit of time exploring the flat, examining the little details as Kurt mentally planned how he was going to redecorate everything, particularly the kitchen and the living room. Let's see, I suppose we can't do anything drastic because it's a sublet, but we could definitely change the curtains, maybe get some different placemats for the table, a few runner rugs, put a Chinese shade in the bedroom, hang some nice art prints in place of those godawful things on the wall now….
He was still making plans all the way through their lunch at a Mexican restaurant, during their wanderings through downtown London, and during their guided tour of Big Ben. By the time night fell and they were on their way to another club, he had every detail neatly planned out in his brain, and his excitement had grown tenfold. He just hoped Carson would let him do most of what he had planned.
Carson himself, it seemed, had already found the closest dealer in the club before they had even been in there five minutes. One minute Kurt was ordering a drink at the bar, and the next he was confronted with his excited twin, who was holding a small plastic bag containing two yellowed capsules.
"Found a dealer here," he announced proudly. "Tonight's gonna be great."
Kurt sighed as he took his drink from the bartender. "Carson, be careful," he warned. "You know what happens when you overdo the drugs."
"Don't be such a worrywart, Mom," Carson said with a roll of his eyes as Sebastian collected his own drink and turned to them. "This isn't shrooms. This is kid stuff, honestly. Besides, I already took one." He worked his way through the crowd, leaving Kurt and Sebastian alone for the moment with their drinks, looking at each other awkwardly.
"Ten quid says we're going to have to carry him back to the hotel," quipped Sebastian, and Kurt snorted into his drink.
"Bet you're right," he agreed with a giggle. "Ugh. I really wish he would just stop with the drugs. At least the hard stuff. Pot once in a while is no big deal, but even then I worry for him. I know I did my share of drugs with him, but…. I don't know. I guess I feel like the move here is going to be a fresh start, and that should mean a fresh start in all aspects."
"He'll never agree with you," Sebastian pointed out sensibly.
"I know," Kurt said with a sigh. "I just really love him and I want him to be around for a long time."
Sebastian was silent for a few minutes, carefully sipping his drink as if it were the most important thing he'd ever done. "I'm glad you and him are working things out," he said at last, his face serious as he caught Kurt's eye. "I know it's what you wanted for a long time, so… I'm glad it's happening. For you."
Kurt smiled at him through the straw in his mouth. "Thanks," he said warmly, reaching over to pat Sebastian on the hand. "I feel like this is progress, I really do. I just hope we can keep it going."
"I'm sure you can," Sebastian assured him. "Just don't let him give you any shit. You know how he relishes giving people shit."
"Don't I know it," muttered Kurt, taking one last sip of his drink and placing the glass firmly down on the counter. "Ok. Enough heavy talk. Wanna dance?"
"Thought you'd never ask," said Sebastian in agreement, grinning as Kurt led the two of them out onto the dance floor and started to move his hips the way only copious amounts of alcohol brought out in him. He ground up against Sebastian flirtatiously, giggling when the other boy copied his moves, the two of them gyrating and swiveling their hips in the middle of the crowded club, a wall of people pressing up against every side of them.
"Kuuuuurt," said Carson, pushing his way through the crowd and coming up to the two of them, a euphoric look on his face. "Kurt, guess what color my shirt is."
Kurt sighed inwardly, knowing his twin was already high as a kite and that this was going to be a very long night indeed. "It's green, Carson."
"It's green!" squealed Carson, giggling as though that was the funniest thing anyone had ever said. "It's so, so green, and your lips are red, and they look super tasty and I wanna kiss them, can I kiss them, huh Kurt? Can I kiss your jellybean lips?"
"My what?" said Kurt, trying to hide his amused smile.
"Aaaaaah, you smiled," Carson crowed with delight. "You know your lips are delicious little cherry jellybeans and they taste like… like… um…. what do your lips taste like? 'Cause, like, sometimes they taste like tea, and other times they taste like that awful canned pasta you eat for breakfast sometimes, the one that tastes like a dinosaur's asshole…"
"Yep, higher than Big Ben," Sebastian quipped.
"Aaaah, Sebastiaaaaan," crooned Carson, fixing Sebastian with a sloppy grin. "When did you get that…. that blue stripe on your face, 'cause it looks kind of like a… a blue stripe… ugh, who cares about your striped face, where's Jellybean Lips?"
"Right here," replied Kurt, holding up one hand in front of Carson's face.
"Kuuuuuurt!" squealed Carson. He moved his body close to Kurt's and pressed their lips together, his arms coming around to wrap themselves around Kurt's waist. Kurt felt one hand travel south to cup his ass, and he shivered with pleasure in spite of himself as he eagerly kissed his twin back. It occurred to him that this was probably an awkward sight for Sebastian, especially when the other boy discreetly cleared his throat and looked around awkwardly.
"I'm, uh… I'm just…. I'm gonna go get another drink," said Sebastian, excusing himself, and Kurt wanted to say something after him, but the fact that Carson had his fingers squeezing his ass just right and practically had his tongue down his throat was clouding his ability to think, just a bit.
Ok, maybe the high version of Carson had its advantages, sometimes.
All in all, this was turning out to be not a halfway bad birthday weekend at all.
Sebastian padded his way glumly into the kitchen, glaring disdainfully at the clock on the stove that proudly proclaimed it to be 6:30 in the morning as he irritably started the coffee pot. He was not at all in the mood to be awake, especially since the twins had only dropped him off at home less than eight hours before. He had planned to just sleep forever and skip school if necessary, but apparently sleep wasn't in the cards for him. Much like it hadn't been in the cards all weekend long. The first night in the hotel had been the roughest, mostly because the sound of Kurt and Carson having sex right in the next room had practically pierced his heart like a sharp knife, and he'd been so desperate to escape the noise that he'd had to leave the room for several hours, just to be safe. When he finally arrived back, he hadn't been able to sleep at all because all he could picture was the scene across the suite, Kurt probably sleeping on Carson's chest like a little angel while Carson snored away, unaware of how lucky he was to be himself.
In the end, he'd spent the entire night staring out the window in the lounge, watching the dark of night turn to the gray of dawn. The second night had only been slightly better, in that if the twins were fucking in their bedroom, they were being extremely quiet about it. The lack of obvious noise soothed Sebastian's nerves a bit, and he was content to pretend they were doing something innocuous in there. Like watching a movie, or playing chess. Anything but sex. Anything.
Then there was the whole business of Kurt moving in with Carson in London. Logically, Sebastian knew he shouldn't be jealous. Not really. In fact, if anything he should have been relieved, knowing that at least Kurt was staying somewhere safe with his brother instead of in a dorm with god knows who as a roommate. The thought of Kurt being around that awful Jesse guy for any major length of time made his skin crawl, so at least that wasn't going to be a concern.
But still. He hadn't really expected Carson to willingly allow Kurt to move in. The fact that he had worried Sebastian, because it meant that the twins were growing closer again. And, even though he knew it made him a selfish asshole, he didn't want them to be closer. He wanted to keep up the illusion that he might possibly have Kurt one day, even if he knew, deep down, that it would never happen. Because Kurt didn't love Sebastian the way Sebastian loved him.
He sighed and sat down with his coffee, so lost in his own misery that he barely noticed that his father had entered the room until he was standing right in front of him, looking down at him with a curious expression on his face.
"You're up a little early," his dad said conversationally.
"I know," said Sebastian dully. "I got in late and I couldn't sleep."
"Ah. Well, did you and the twins have fun?"
"I guess so."
"Is that coffee I smell?"
Sebastian nodded. "Yeah," he said, nodding in the direction of the coffee maker. "I made a pot. It's still fresh."
His dad walked over to the pot and grabbed a mug, pouring it full of the steaming liquid as he kept glancing over at Sebastian questioningly. "So, tell me, what's got you sleepless and up so early with such a thoughtful expression on that cute little face, hmm?"
"Dad!" Sebastian protested. "Jesus. I'm not five."
"You'll always be five to me," his dad replied with a shrug, taking his mug over to the table and sitting himself across from his son. "Underneath that cocky rebel who spends money on hookers, the little boy I used to know who loved building nightclubs out of Legos for his Ninja Turtle action figures is still in there, somewhere."
"Good to know," muttered Sebastian.
"So, Grumpy Cat, what's eating you?" his dad asked again, taking a thoughtful sip of coffee.
"Nothing, Dad. I'm really fine," Sebastian insisted.
His dad just looked at him carefully for a moment. "Sebastian? Forgive me for being so blunt, but that's bullshit."
"Dad!"
"Well, it is," said his father determinedly.
"Just because I got up early and made coffee?"
"No," his father replied, shaking his head. "Not just that. I've actually noticed you acting… well… not quite like yourself. For a while."
"That's stupid, Dad. I haven't been acting any differently," Sebastian protested, taking a huge sip of his own coffee for a distraction from having to look his dad in the eye.
"Really? So it's just been my imagination that you've been moping around the house every weekend, watching TV and eating instead of going out all night like you always did before?"
"Yes."
"And that you started doing that right around the time you stopped bringing that Phillips kid over here on a weekly basis?"
"Yes."
"Sebastian, I saw you watching The Notebook last weekend. You were crying."
"Well, it was sad," Sebastian muttered around his coffee cup.
His father sighed. "Sebastian, give me a little credit. I'm not as dumb as you think I am. Something is bothering you. And, if I may say so, I think I have a pretty good idea what that something is."
Sebastian froze in mid-sip, fixing his father with wide, panicked eyes. "No, you don't."
"I don't?" his dad replied, meeting Sebastian's look eye for eye. "Well, I suppose the possibility that I could be wrong always exists, but if it's ok with you, could I perhaps take a wild stab at it?"
Sebastian shifted in his seat, hoping he didn't look as uncomfortable as he felt right now. "Go ahead. Go nuts."
His father cleared his throat and looked down into his coffee cup. "Ok. If I were to guess at what's eating you, I would probably go ahead and say that it has something to do with those Phillips boys. Or, more correctly, one of them in particular."
Sebastian's heart started beating loudly in his ears, but he managed to retain his cool and not say anything. His dad paused for a beat, and then continued with his analysis.
"I'm a man of facts, so let's bring out the evidence," he continued. "When we first moved back here, you started hanging out a lot with Kurt. The nice one. You were always closer to him when you were little, although all three of you played together all the time."
"I already know this, Dad," grumbled Sebastian.
"I know, I'm just laying out the facts. Now, you had Kurt over here all the time, but then all of a sudden you were bringing the other one over instead, and paying him for what I'm going to desperately pretend was study help. A lot of study help."
Sebastian's cheeks reddened, but he didn't reply.
"Now, I don't pretend to know the exact details, because I don't, but I do know that sometime between Kurt coming over all the time and you hiring Carson for… study help…. something happened to erase your smile," his dad continued.
That caught Sebastian's attention. "What smile?" he asked, confused.
"The smile you always have whenever you're around Kurt," his dad stated simply.
"What?" exclaimed Sebastian. "Dad, that's ridiculous, I don't smile any differently around Kurt. It's the same smirk I always have on my face. I'm a smirker, that's who I am."
His father shook his head. "I beg to differ, Seb. You do smile differently around him. It's a marked difference, actually. I mean, I never actually saw you two together a lot, but when I did, it was almost like you were a little boy again. I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that you lit up. And lately I've seen you with that look again, so I assume that whatever went on has been resolved, but…. well, clearly something else is bubbling under the surface and bothering you."
Sebastian looked down at his cup. "Dad, could you n-"
"My educated guess is that you love this young man and he doesn't feel the same way," his dad interrupted him. "You know. If I were to suppose."
Sebastian felt his cheeks flush even more as he refused to meet his father's gaze. "That's not true, Dad. Nice try," he croaked out, even though he knew his face was probably giving him away like a giant, neon sign.
Mr. Smythe sighed and put his coffee cup down. "Sebastian, sweetheart, do you know how I know I'm very much correct?"
Sebastian looked up, but didn't answer.
"Ever since you were small, you've kept a little photograph in your bedside drawer," his father said quietly. "Oh, I'm sure it's rather faded and worn now, but nonetheless, you've always kept it close. And it features you and those boys at….oh… maybe four years old, that day I took you to the park for a picnic. You're all in a row on the picnic blanket, and the twins are smiling at the camera, but you're smiling at Kurt. With a tinier version of the smile you still get around him."
To his horror, Sebastian felt tears spring to his eyes, but through heroic effort he managed to stave them off as he took a determined sip of his cooling coffee. He didn't say anything in reply to his father, but he supposed he didn't have to. His dad had basically stated nothing that wasn't the absolute truth. He did love Kurt. Genuinely loved him, and he knew it would never go anywhere.
And it did hurt. It hurt a lot.
"Sebastian?"
"Dad?" Sebastian replied, snapping himself out of his reverie to acknowledge his father.
"I know right now it seems like the disappointment and hurt will never end, but I promise you, it will," Mr. Smythe said warmly, giving him a small, comforting smile. "And who knows? The possibility always exists that Kurt might change his mind one day. One day. When you're both older and have had the chance to live. I wish I could offer you something more than hope, but I'm afraid hope is all there is."
Sebastian returned the smile, even though he felt like he wanted to crack. "Thanks, Dad."
"You're welcome, son."
They sat in awkward silence for a few minutes, until Mr. Smythe cleared his throat and absentmindedly tapped the side of his cup.
"In movies, this would be the part where I hug you and we go do something bonding, like toss a football."
Sebastian snorted. "We're good, Dad. We're good."
Mr. Smythe smiled. "Seb?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I just say how delighted I am that at least it's Kurt and not the one who keeps checking out and commenting on my ass?"
"Dad."
The last day of school didn't really feel like a last day of school. Not really. To Carson, it just felt like any other, normal day, except for the fact that, once it ended, he would be free from that particular school forever and ready to take his first steps into the adult world. And frankly, even thinking of it that way seemed just a tiny bit ridiculous, considering all that he had been through while he was still, technically, a child. He knew he'd had to grow up much faster than most, and he pretty much already felt like a full-fledged adult. The only thing that would change at the end of the day would be a few more certifications to his name.
Big deal. This place and almost everyone in it can suck my dick. Er… well… I guess a lot of people here already HAVE sucked my dick, but…. ugh, you get the point.
"Hey. Phillips," barked the familiar voice of Santana, who was standing in front of him, brandishing a large book as he closed his locker door. "Quit daydreaming about your brother's ass and sign my yearbook," she said, thrusting the book at him, along with a pen.
Carson rolled his eyes and took the yearbook from her, flipping to a blank page in the back. "Funnily enough, I just might miss you being such a bitch for absolutely no reason," he said, neatly penning a signature into the book.
"I know you will, which is why I fully intend to come stalk your ass in London on a highly regular basis," Santana informed him cheerfully. "I needs my entertainment, and most of that comes from you and Kurt acting like an old married couple."
"We do not," muttered Carson irritably.
"Yeah, you do," said Santana. "You're so whipped by that boy it isn't even funny. I'm surprised a cracking whip sound doesn't accompany you everywhere you go, like background music."
"Hey, Santana?"
"Yes?"
"Shut the fuck up," Carson said brightly, shoving the yearbook back at her. She took it and flipped to the page he had been on, scanning his signature with her dark eyes dancing in amusement.
"Try to stay out of jail this summer. Love, Carson," she read out loud, looking back up at him with narrowed eyes. "You're charming. You are a charmer, that's nice."
"I know," replied Carson.
"Dick."
"Bitch."
"Maybe it's a blessing we never did become co-parents," said Santana, shutting her yearbook with a sigh. "We probably would have murdered each other."
"Most likely," agreed Carson. "You'll notice my new address is underneath my signature. Don't be a stranger. Well…. don't be, like, an annoying neighbor, either. Don't just be dropping by any time you feel like. Call first. Like, a week in advance so I can pretend to get the flu if I'm not feeling a visit."
"Like I said. Fucking charmer," said Santana with a small smile. "Thanks."
"Any time."
"You wanna hug or some shit?"
"Let's not," said Carson.
The rest of the day passed much the same way, with people stopping him in the halls for yearbook signatures. Truthfully, by day's end, he was more than a little annoyed over it, with the possible exception of Malerie. He had a feeling he'd genuinely miss her and her inability to ever write anything original whatsoever. He'd given her his address, too.
When the last bell rang and school was finally over, he didn't feel any different than he had that morning. If anything, he was ready to go home and take a nice, long, well-deserved nap as soon as he located Kurt. Which, he had a feeling, meant also locating Sebastian, since Kurt was likely to be found right under his ass these days.
Sure enough, he found the two of them in the courtyard, exchanging yearbook signatures with smiles on their faces, which instantly ignited his jealousy fuse. Even if it was stupid, he still didn't like the way Sebastian looked at Kurt.
"Carson!" Kurt exclaimed, looking up and catching sight of him walking in their direction. "Can you believe it's over? No more of this school as long as we live?"
"My insides are doing stuff," replied Carson dryly. "You guys almost done? I wanna go home and nap for like sixty years."
"Yeah, yeah, sure," Kurt agreed, handing Sebastian's yearbook back to him and standing up. "Oh, but Sebastian was just asking if we'd like to go out with him and his parents to dinner tonight. You know, as sort of a graduation celebration thing. You wanna go?"
Carson desperately wanted to roll his eyes and ask if he had a choice, but the prospect of a whole dinner with Sebastian's parents intrigued him. "Your parents, you say?" he asked Sebastian, raising one eyebrow with interest.
Sebastian sighed. "Yes," he said, sounding exasperated, as if he knew very well where this was going.
"As in, your mom and your fine-ass daddy with the body that has the power to make angels sing?" Carson pressed.
Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Ok, seriously, if you're gonna be a dick about it, you are so not invited."
"Hey, hey, calm your balls, Smythe," Carson said dismissively. "Would I really do anything to embarrass you in front of your delightful parental units?"
"Yes."
"You're gonna have to learn how to trust people, Sebby," Carson said gleefully. "I'm totally in for this dinner. What time should we meet you?"
"7:00, and I'll text you the directions," said Sebastian, giving Carson a warning look. "And I swear to god, one crack about my dad's ass…"
"Would you relax? I swear on my most innocent baby brother, Max, I will not make any remarks about your dad's ass," Carson assured him.
"You promise?"
"I cross my heart and hope to die."
Sebastian sighed. "Fine. Wanna sign my yearbook?"
"Later," Carson promised. "Right now I need to get home and figure out what I'm gonna wear to meet up with your hot daddy. Come on, Kurt."
Kurt rolled his eyes as he followed Carson out of the courtyard and into the parking lot. "Seriously, Carson, can you behave for once in your life? Promise?"
"I promised I wouldn't say anything about Mr. Smythe's tight, firm buns of steel, and I won't," Carson insisted as he got into the car. "Jeez, it's like neither of you trust me."
"That's because you generally can't be trusted," retorted Kurt as he slid into the passenger seat.
"That hurts, Kurt. The pain, ow. Right in the heart."
Kurt gave him a side-eye as Carson pretended to clutch his chest and reach dramatically for the heavens. "Just drive."
"You are no fun."
Kurt sat nervously in his seat at the fancy French restaurant that had been decided upon for the night's celebration dinner, his brain constantly saying a silent prayer that Carson would refrain from saying anything too embarrassing. The two of them had met up with the Smythes half an hour ago, and so far, the only thing Carson had really done was silently check out Mr. Smythe's ass as they were being led to their table, but Kurt had given him a death glare as soon as he'd noticed. It had been relatively peaceful from there, but Kurt knew he was still going to be very much on edge until the meal was over.
"So, boys," said Sebastian's mother cheerfully as the waiter brought them their drinks. "Sebastian says you both will be attending university in London?"
Kurt nodded. "Yes. I'm going to be at Roehampton and Carson will be at City. We've found a terrific flat not far from either campus."
"That's wonderful," said Mr. Smythe. "I know people who have graduated from Roehampton. That's a fine school. I think you'll enjoy it."
"I hope so," replied Kurt, grateful for a flowing conversation to minimize the chances of Carson being… well…. Carson. "Truthfully, I'm a little nervous, but I know I'll be ok after I get into the swing of things."
"I'm sure you will, dear," assured Mrs. Smythe. "What about you, Carson?" she asked, turning her attention to him. "Are you nervous like Kurt?"
"Hell no," Carson insisted. "The past seventeen years have basically been a prison sentence and I feel like I'm finally being let out into the wild. I can't wait to begin university."
"Oh," she replied, her smile never faltering a bit. "Well, that's lovely. You know, the years you spend at uni are some of the best of your entire life. Sebastian's dad and I actually met at university."
"God, Mom, not this story again," Sebastian groaned.
"Sebastian, don't whine to your mother," Mr. Smythe admonished him. "Tell them the story, honey," he said, smiling over at his wife.
"Ok, well, I was actually a bit of a wild child back then," she said with a mischievous grin. "I used to record bets from people for ball games and such and come collect the money after the fact."
"You were a bookie?" Carson exclaimed.
"She was," said Mr. Smythe. "And, let's just say I made my fair share of bad bets. I wasn't as cunningly clever then as I am now."
"So one time he couldn't pay what he owed on a bet," Mrs. Smythe continued. "But he was so cute, I felt sorry for him and told him I would forget the entire thing if he agreed to a date."
"I do not blame you," said Carson with a grin. "If he was half as fine back then as he is now, I would have climbed him like a tree."
Kurt choked on his soda and glared at Carson, who paid him no mind and just gave Mr. Smythe a winning smile as Mrs. Smythe's eyes widened in surprise.
"Carson," Sebastian warned.
"No, seriously, you made a fine catch there, Mrs. S.," Carson continued. "If only I'd been born twenty years earlier. Unf."
"Anyway," Kurt interrupted, desperately trying to alleviate the awkwardness of the situation before it became any worse, "I think you're right, Mrs. Smythe. University is going to be great and I can't wait to go." He chanced a glance over at Sebastian, who was practically trying to stab Carson using his eyes.
"There's the spirit," said Mr. Smythe jovially. "And Carson, honey, I'm honestly flattered. Every man likes to hear how handsome he is once in a while."
"You're welcome," said Carson. "By the way, how often do you work out? Because I can totally see those pecs under your shirt, and…. ow!" he exclaimed as Kurt kicked him under the table.
"Daaaaaad, don't encourage him!" Sebastian whined as Carson gave him a smug grin.
"Oh, Sebastian, come now. Don't be a prude. Be proud your old man's still got it," said Mr. Smythe.
"Oh my god," snorted Carson. "Sebastian being a prude. That's it. That's the joke to end all jokes."
"Shut up, Carson," muttered Sebastian under his breath.
"Make me."
"Ok, boys, settle down," Mrs. Smythe said gently with an airy, if a bit awkward, laugh.
Suddenly, the meal couldn't end fast enough for Kurt.
"Carson, what the fuck!" exclaimed Sebastian as he escorted the twins to their car later, after the meal had ended and everyone had said their goodbyes to Sebastian's parents.
"Oh, calm down," said Carson casually. "I was on my best behavior."
"By complimenting my dad's abs?"
"Hey, I only promised not to say anything about his ass," Carson pointed out. "Which was difficult, trust me, because you could bounce a coin off those cheeks."
Sebastian pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "You are such a dick."
"Yeah, but I do believe we've established that you love me like that," said Carson. "Just not as much as you love other things." Kurt just gave Sebastian a sympathetic look.
"If it's any consolation, I don't really think your dad minded," Kurt offered, trying to smooth things over.
"You're both insane," grumbled Sebastian with a sigh. "But I'll call you guys later and maybe we can hang out some over the summer."
"That would be nice, yes," Kurt agreed.
"Preferably when my dad isn't home," Sebastian added.
"Aw maaaaan," Carson whined.
"I'll slap him for you," Kurt promised, waving out the window at Sebastian as the car began to pull away.
"Kinky," quipped Carson as Kurt groaned.
"Honestly, Carson," he admonished him.
"I don't see what everyone is bitching about," said Carson as he began the drive home. "I did keep my promise. Not one word about that ass."
Kurt sighed. "You could have been a bit more well behaved, Carsey."
"Kurt, I cannot keep my mouth shut when there's a handsome man about, and you know it," Carson replied, his eyes on the road in front of him.
"Ok, but I wish you'd try to be a bit nicer to Sebastian," said Kurt. "He's our friend again, like it used to be, can't we just get along?"
"Pretty sure he wants to be a bit more than your friend."
"Don't be ridiculous, Carson," said Kurt with a snort. "Seriously, be nice from now on when we're around the Smythes. Or no sex for… a week."
Carson laughed out loud. "Oh my god, oh my god, that is hilarious. That is fucking hilarious."
"What? I mean it," Kurt insisted, trying to sound serious.
"Jesus. Babe, you can not survive a week without sex. If we go more than a day without fucking you're ready to climb the walls."
"That's not true."
"Yes it is," said Carson gleefully. "You would be losing your damn mind after a week and you know it."
Kurt tried his best to glare at Carson, but it was difficult when he wasn't really mad. Just kind of annoyed, if he was anything. The adorable smile on his twin's face as he shook with mirth at the idea of a sex-free week was enough to make Kurt want to climb into his lap and cuddle him.
After he punched him in the face first. Punch, then cuddle.
"Shut up," he said at last, the go-to reply for when arguments were over and he had nothing left to add. Carson stopped laughing and looked over at him with a serious look.
"Ok, ok. I'm sorry I made remarks about how smoking hot Sebastian's daddy is."
"You should apologize to Sebastian, not me," Kurt pointed out.
Carson sighed heavily. "But Kuuuuuuuurt."
"Well, it was his dad!" Kurt pointed out. "It doesn't have to be any big deal. Just, the next time we see Seb, quickly say you're sorry and be done with it."
"Fine," grumbled Carson. "But only because you asked nicely."
Kurt smiled and leaned over, placing a loving kiss on Carson's cheek and stroking the spot with his finger for emphasis. "Thank you."
"You're turning me soft. Domesticating me. Like a fucking cat."
"Good," said Kurt with a grin. "All the benefits of a cat without the litter box."
"I hate you."
"You love me."
Carson sighed once more. "Put the radio on, Kurt."
Kurt did, smiling to himself and settling himself back into his seat as he let the unsaid but very much felt "Love you too" wash over him.
"Mmm… these are seriously the best strawberries ever," Kurt moaned, biting into another piece of fruit from the plate he was balancing on his knees as he lounged in one of the chairs by the Smythe pool.
Sebastian looked over at him from the neighboring chair, hiding a smile as he watched Kurt accidentally drop his berry onto his chest and delicately pick it off before shoving it back in his mouth. It was times like this when it really hit him just how much he was going to miss Kurt once he and Carson took off for London in a few weeks. Which he tried never to think about, because the idea only depressed him. A lot.
And he was trying not to think about it now, because this was one of the rare times they weren't joined by Carson, and it was so nice to just spend time with Kurt without having to hear comments from Carson about the swim trunk collection his dad kept in the pool house. Just the two of them was so much more peaceful.
"You know what I've always wanted to try?" said Kurt, snapping Sebastian out of his thoughts.
"What?" he asked, sitting up straighter, the better to listen.
"Having a preserve stand."
"A what?" asked Sebastian with a smile. "You want to sell jelly by the roadside?"
"Well, like, not as a forever thing, just for a day," said Kurt. "But I would want to make all the jam myself. Is that dumb?"
Sebastian shook his head. "Not at all. You should absolutely go for it."
"Maybe next summer," Kurt mused through a mouthful of strawberry. "Or maybe when I'm super old and have retired and have nothing better to do with my time but grow fruit in my garden and turn it into preserves."
"You'll never be super old," Sebastian insisted. "You are ageless. You'll be eighteen forever."
"Shut up," giggled Kurt. "We'll all get old someday. Even me. Even though it will probably take me longer because I take such impeccable care of my skin."
"See? Ageless," said Sebastian.
Kurt smiled and placed two more berries in his mouth, chewing them with a thoughtful expression on his face. He looked so lost in thought that Sebastian was beginning to wonder where his mind was wandering to, and he was just about to ask when Kurt finally broke the silence.
"You know what?"
"What?" asked Sebastian, reaching over and stealing a berry from Kurt's plate.
"As excited as I am about moving to London, I'm really going to miss this. You know. Just…. hanging around with you and Carson, doing nothing, enjoying our youth," said Kurt, sounding wistful. "I mean, think about it. Once the fall comes? That's it. Game over. Nothing is ever going to be the same again because we'll be adults and expected to do adult things, and I just….. I'm excited, but I'm dreading it. Is that stupid? Does that sound stupid?"
Sebastian shook his head vigorously as he turned to face Kurt completely. "God, no. Not at all. I know exactly what you mean, because I… I've really enjoyed this summer so far. And if I'm telling the truth, I'm going to really hate when you're so far away and can't just come hang out for an afternoon. It's going to suck."
"Aw, come on," said Kurt dismissively. "You're Mr. Popular, I'm sure you'll find new friends once you start traveling, and you won't even miss me or Carson."
"Well, to be fair, it's kind of hard to miss Carson," Sebastian pointed out. "No offense. I think of him like family, but he's…"
"I know," said Kurt with a knowing nod. "I love him to bits, but he's a tough egg for most people."
"Yeah. But I really will miss you both," Sebastian insisted quietly, his stomach fluttering as Kurt pulled his sunglasses half down to see him better, his blue eyes sparkling in the late afternoon sun. He is so gorgeous, how is that even fair?
"Oh, come on," said Kurt, waving his hand around as if he were sweeping the words away. "I guarantee you won't remember our names pretty soon when you're off taking Paris by storm."
Sebastian smiled sadly. "That's not even close to being true. I'll miss you guys a lot. Especially…. especially you."
"Oh?" said Kurt curiously. "I'm your favorite, huh?"
"You could say that," answered Sebastian quietly, averting his eyes to the side for a moment to avoid Kurt's piercing gaze.
"I'm most people's favorite," said Kurt with a casual shrug. "I'm used to it."
"Haha," replied Sebastian nervously. His heart was beginning to beat faster, and he had absolutely no idea what was coming over him, but he suddenly wondered what would happen if he just admitted to Kurt how he really felt about him.
I mean, what harm could it do? I really do want him to know. You know, eventually. Someday. I don't want to lose touch with him without ever telling him. He'll reject me, of course, but he's moving, so I could wallow in embarrassment and humiliation for months before I have to think about seeing him again.
I should do it. I should tell him.
Ugh, I can't.
I should, though.
I'll never know if I don't try.
"Hey… Kurt?" he began, his heart pounding so hard he was sure people over in Scotland could probably hear it. "Could… could I tell you something?"
"Hmm?" replied Kurt lazily, lounging back in his chair and looking over at Sebastian expectantly. "What's up?"
Sebastian swallowed. "Well, um… I mean, this isn't exactly… uh… what I want to say is…."
Just do it. Just fucking do it. Tell him "I love you" and wait for the inevitable rejection. Easy peasy.
Ugh, but am I really prepared to endure a stab wound in my heart?
More importantly, will Kurt feel guilty for having to reject me like that?
Yeah. Yeah, he's probably feel guilty as fuck.
Keep your mouth shut, Sebastian. Just keep it shut. Everyone will be happier.
"Are you ok?" asked Kurt, taking his sunglasses off and cocking his head to the side as though he were trying to figure him out. "You look like you're gonna be sick."
Sebastian took a deep breath and shook himself, trying to look normal, even if he didn't feel it. "I'm fine. I just… I just wanted to say… um… I'll miss you the most. That was all. That was all I wanted to say."
"Aaaaaw," squealed Kurt. "That's sweet."
Sebastian smiled. "I mean it," he said, and before he could stop himself, he leaned over and quickly planted a quick peck of a kiss on the side of Kurt's cheek before scurrying back into his own chair. He felt his face turning a million shades of red as Kurt grinned over at him, his eyes dancing with amusement.
"You really are a lot sweeter than people give you credit for," he said adoringly, and Sebastian blushed more. "And I'm going to miss you like crazy, so you need to promise you'll come visit us in London. Like, a lot. Promise, or I'll pout."
"I promise, but you should pout anyway because it's so cute," said Sebastian cheekily.
Kurt snorted. "If that'll make you come visit more," he agreed, fixing him with the adorable pouty lips that made Sebastian break out in a huge, delighted grin.
"Adorable."
"I know. Now, I'm fried from this sun, so how about we take a dip, hmm? Last one in has to kiss Rachel," said Kurt with a mischievous smile.
"Eeeeeew," Sebastian grimaced as Kurt leaped out of his chair and took a running start around the pool before diving straight into the deep end with a huge splash that drenched Sebastian from head to toe.
"Come on in, loser, don't keep me waiting!" shouted Kurt when he emerged from the water, and Sebastian rolled his eyes in amusement before taking a breath and diving in with him.
Don't worry, I'll visit you TONS. No matter how much sass Carson throws my way.