Kurt,

It feels strange to be writing you a letter that I know you'll never read. Your name is so familiar to me that I could write it with my eyes shut.

Kurt

See? I just did.

I don't know why I can't get over you. I don't know why I can't move on the way you have. I'm happy for you, you know. I'm proud of you. I envy you.

I'm going to be brutally honest here. I've stooped as low as looking up "How to get over your ex" online. Nothing seems to be working. I still think about you every day.

It's like I don't understand anything but you. I grew attached to the fact that I thought you would always be there, and now you're not. I treated you like shit, and I feel terrible. I can't even begin to describe how awful I feel.

I think that I needed you to break my heart, though. It could be argued that I broke my own heart. I needed to see you with someone else, even if I feel denied my last goodbye.

I deserve it, though. I need it. I needed the clean cut you provided to move on, even if I can't yet.

Maybe one day after I've grown up, we can talk again. But until then, I wish you only the best.

I love you.

Blaine.