Oct. 21, 2012, 7:18 a.m.
The Chances We Take: Chapter 29
E - Words: 3,300 - Last Updated: Oct 21, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 37/37 - Created: Jun 02, 2012 - Updated: Oct 21, 2012 489 0 0 0 0
Kurt
Kurt knew what everyone had said to him was right and Blaine's snap comment of why Kurt should know what to do because he answering 'why' and aiding those to the right answer was his profession. So, after taking two days to really think about what he had been doing and how he felt, he broke up with Vin. Vin begged and begged, but Kurt stood by what his heart told him. Vin wasn't who Kurt loved anymore and Kurt wasn't happy with himself either.
Months had passed and as much as Kurt wanted to call Blaine and beg for his forgiveness, he obeyed Blaine's wishes and stayed away. He stopped going to Jericho and didn't go out to the theaters in case he might run into Blaine because he didn't know which theater Blaine was now working for. It pained him to stay away, but he did.
August came and went and Kurt tried to keep himself busy with other things so that he wouldn't mope around the apartment with the thought that this was the month that Vin was supposed to move in.
September came and he started his new job as a guidance counselor. He really enjoyed it and it gave him plenty of work to do to keep his mind of his own problems. In retrospect, his relationship problems seemed petty compared to some of the kids that he counseled.
By mid October he answered a knock on his apartment door and Vin stood there with flowers. He hadn't seen or heard from Vin in months and was not only surprised, but confused. He let Vin come in and Vin sat at the kitchen table with Kurt explaining everything he'd been through in the past few months. He came out to his family, moved to another town, took a different job, found a whole new set of friends that he didn't sleep with, and started going to therapy, as well as a support group.
"You came all this way to tell me this?" Kurt asked sympathetically. He was careful not to make it sound uncaring because obviously Vin had been through a lot in a short time. Besides, he did care. He found it hard not to care.
"Yes. I did."
"Why?"
"Because you were right. I did need to do this on my own. I feel so free now."
"I'm happy for you. You deserve to feel that."
"Thank you. I'm proud of myself for the first time in a long time… but the thing is… I'm happy, but I don't feel complete. I'm still in love with you. I miss you and I knew that if I could stand even a single chance of getting you back, I needed to prove to you that I could change." He shrugged. "Be better."
Kurt didn't know what to say. In the end, it came down to the fact that he was lonely. He decided to give this new version of Vin a chance and they started all over. Kurt put on a pot of coffee and they sat at the kitchen table for hours just talking about the past few months.
Vin noticed that Kurt hadn't mentioned Blaine at all and asked if he had seen him. Kurt confessed that they hadn't spoken in months and pretended to act like it was no big deal. They left it at that and didn't mention him again. Instead of spending the night at Kurt's apartment, Vin insisted that he stay the night alone in his hotel room that he booked and he would be back the next day to take him out on a real date.
Kurt was happy with this because it showed him that Vin really had started to change and wasn't quick to erase their past by jumping in the sack. He thought that if Vin had tried to initiate anything sexual, Kurt would have ended it right there.
Blaine
Blaine had spent his months alone from Kurt immersed in his music. He enjoyed his new orchestral production that he was a part of and despite the flirtations from some of the actors and pit musicians, he vowed to himself that he wouldn't hook up with anyone from work ever again. He dated a couple times when one of his friends bribed him into going on a blind date, but the truth was that he didn't want a boyfriend right now. He wasn't sad anymore. That feeling passed. He wasn't angry anymore either. For the time being, he just was and that was enough.
He wrote more songs in the past few months than he ever had in that kind of time span and Matty had been letting him take lead a bit more these days. Blaine wasn't sure if it was because Matty felt bad for Blaine or because he was spending more time with his girlfriend and less time trying to learn the new songs.
They added a new piano player so Blaine was able to focus more on the guitar now and that made him happy because these days, his life was the piano. The guitar was a happy break from tickling the ivories.
He had saved up enough money to take a small vacation home to Ohio and the rest of his housemates went with him to have a Warbler reunion at Dalton Academy. It was honestly the happiest he'd been in months. It was a nice break away from the city. He was that much more pleased to find that even though Sebastian was there, he didn't say anything to him at all, never mind ask about Kurt. That was a welcoming surprise that he hadn't expected, but he took it and was happy.
After weeks of trying to get over Kurt Hummel and finally being content with where he was emotionally in his personal life, driving through Lima, Ohio and knowing it was Kurt's hometown, a pang went through his heart. It only made it worse when they stopped for dinner at a restaurant called Breadstix and the McKinley High New Directions were there performing while people ate.
Yes, he had gotten over being angry at Kurt, but there was a little piece inside himself that wondered where Kurt was and what he was doing. Sometimes he wondered if he should go to the theater they used to work at and pretend like he was buying a ticket to the show just so he could have an excuse to say hello. He never did, though. Blaine knew he had every right to say the things he did to Kurt, but after saying all those mean things, he didn't feel he had any right to go to Kurt and play nice. Also, he didn't know if Kurt even worked there still. By December, he had thought that maybe their chance to be together or their chance to just be friends had run out.
Then, on a cold day, one week before Christmas, he walked into a coffee shop to put flyers for his band up and there Kurt was. He was sitting there with stacks of paper all over the table like the first time they had run into each other in this very same coffee shop and Kurt ran off after they had coffee so he wouldn't be late. Blaine stood there reminiscing and unable to take his eyes off of him. He looked the same: stylish and beautiful. Kurt was making that adorable face he always made when he was concentrating on something hard. And just like that, all of his unconditional feelings for Kurt came flooding back. Or maybe they never went away in the first place. He knew then that the silence between them had to be over because if he didn't talk to him now that he's seen him, he knew he'd go crazy.
Kurt
Kurt was sitting in his favorite coffee shop by NYU that he used to go to as he looked over some files for students. He had gone through his coffee already, but was so focused on his work that he kept forgetting his cup was empty and lifted it to his lips to find nothing coming out of the lid. He'd sigh and laugh to himself every time at his forgetfulness and put the cup down, focusing on his files again.
He didn't know how long he was sitting there for, but at one poin the felt eyes on him and he looked up. His eyes scanned the room and sure enough, there was a pair of familiar honey orbs staring back at him. Kurt's breath caught when he realized who he had locked eyes with. He gulped and wasn't sure if he saw correctly, but he thought Blaine swallowed hard as well. They were both frozen in the moment. It had been almost six months since their last interaction and Kurt didn't know what to do because Blaine didn't want Kurt talking to him.
Then he saw Blaine's mouth turn into a small smile and his hand raised. He mouthed the word, "hi."
"Hi," Kurt mouthed back and raised his hand delicately in the same fashion. Their moment was broken by a couple of teens accidentally running into Blaine on their way into line. When their eye contact was broken, Kurt flinched and turned his head back to his work.
Blaine looked back at Kurt, who had now stopped looking, and took a deep breath. His instant urge was to go over and talk to him. It made him smile to think that after all this time, he still felt that pull to Kurt Hummel. What the hell, he thought. It's been almost six months. He got an idea and stood in line.
"A medium drip and a non-fat mocha, please," he ordered when he got to the front of the line. That was another shock to himself; he still knew Kurt's coffee order. Midori Sour, he thought to himself, remembering Kurt's drink order from the first time they met. He brought the drinks over to Kurt's table, his heart pounding the entire way. He cleared his throat. "You look like you could use another one of these," he said.
Kurt jumped and looked up at the sound of Blaine's voice. Their eyes locked and it was like nothing changed. They still had the ability to look straight into one another as if their souls were synced up through one gaze. In an instant, Kurt saw forgiveness in Blaine's eyes and warmth, something Kurt felt he didn't deserve, but perhaps the months apart had done some good after all.
"You bought me coffee?" Kurt finally asked, breaking the silence.
"Can I sit down?" Blaine questioned.
"Uh- of course." Kurt quickly started piling folders and moving them away to clear a space for Blaine. "How- how are you? It's been, what? Six months?"
"Almost." He paused. "I'm good. Busy, but good. You?"
"Good. Yeah. Me too."
"Is this okay? You seem flustered."
"Surprised is all. But no. Um. Yeah, this is okay. It's great. It's good to see you." Kurt was stammering and just trying to get himself through each moment as they came. He was beyond surprised to see Blaine and absolutely floored that he came over, never mind buying him a cup of coffee. This was something that he never would have seen coming in a thousand years.
"This is where we first had coffee together, right?" Blaine asked, not knowing what else to say, but most definitely knowing the correct answer to his question.
"Uh, yeah. It is. Same table too, actually." Idiot, don't say that, Kurt chastised himself.
"Is it?" Blaine asked with a smile. He actually already knew the answer, but was trying to act aloof.
"Yeah. I only sit at one table. Creature of habit and all."
"What if someone else was sitting here?"
"I'd sit over there." Kurt pointed. "It's my someone-else-is-sitting-in-my-chair table."
"And if that was is taken as well?"
"That one in the corner is number three." Kurt pointed again.
"And if that one is taken?" Blaine was smiling now and being playful.
Kurt paused, looking into Blaine's eyes that were lighting up by the second and smiled. "Then I go home and go back to bed because I'd take it as a sign that it wasn't my day."
Blaine laughed and Kurt's heart fluttered at the sight of Blaine's eyes. They still sparkled and danced in his glee as if they sang a song of their own to the beat of Blaine's laughter. It was beautiful.
"So what's all this?" Blaine asked, trying to continue a conversation and gesturing to the pile of folders.
"Um. Files. They're case files on some students. I'm just going over them to make sure I'm not missing anything that would be red flags on the students I saw recently. The thicker ones are files on new students transferring into the school next semester."
"Wow," Blaine said. He meant it. Kurt's job now seemed so professional compared to the idea he once had of Kurt's past internships and his work at the theater. "Looks like you've got your hands full."
"A bit, but I love my job. All the schooling I went through to get this job was well worth it. All of the kids are amazing and they all have a story."
"I bet. I'd ask about them, but I know you can't talk about it. Confidentiality and all that."
"Right." Kurt closed his eyes as he touched the lid of the coffee cup to his mouth and felt the warm mocha latte run down his throat. It was calming. "How's work for you?"
Blaine flinched for a second because he caught himself staring at Kurt's serene face. He was happy that it was the coffee he bought him that made Kurt make that face. "Great! I love it there."
"Where are you?"
"Oh. Right. I never told you where I moved jobs to, huh?" He rubbed the back of his neck and looked down for a second as he remembered that awful night. "I work in the orchestra for Godspell now."
"Broadway? Oh God, Blaine! That's amazing!" Kurt's face was pure happiness. "I'm so happy for you. I knew that's what you wanted all along."
Blaine smiled again. "Thank you." They both sipped their coffees and they fell into silence, not knowing where to go from here. "So, um." Blaine cleared his throat. "How's, uh, Vin?" Holy hell! Why the fuck did I ask that?
Kurt looked shocked that Blaine even asked. "Um. He's good. He's been doing a lot of soul searching and making some life changes."
"Oh. Well, that's good then. So, you two are still together?" Shut up! Just stop talking you idiot!
He spoke slowly, uncomfortable with the topic when it came to Blaine. "Well, it's an interested story actually. I broke up with him for a while and then we semi recently got back together." He couldn't look Blaine in the eyes when he said it. Vin was essentially one of the reasons Blaine stopped talking to him. Kurt was the biggest reason, but number two was definitely Vin.
"I see. Wh-what made you change your mind?" He brought his coffee cup up to his mouth.
Kurt was wary, but he kept answering Blaine's questions. He didn't know if he should be, but as long as Blaine kept asking, Kurt felt he owed him the truth. "To leave him, or to get back together?"
"Both."
He breathed deeply before answering. "Well, I left him because of… well, you, actually."
"Me?"
"Yeah." He looked away again. "Everything you said that night was right and I needed to make a change. A lot of changes. So I did. Then, one day, he showed up at my door and…"
"One thing led to another?" He paused, in awe with himself that he just said that. "Oh, gosh, Kurt, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"
"No, it's fine. You have every right to be angry with me."
"No I don't."
There was silence between them and their eyes locked once again, both seeing pain in the other. "You don't?"
"No. Kurt, what we had was… beautiful, light, and airy. It ended horribly, but it ended. Nearly six months ago it ended. I said my peace back then and I was hurt, but I have no right to judge your actions now because it's your life."
"I was still awful to you. I'm surprised you actually are sitting across from me right now. I deserve this coffee you bought me to be scalding my face by now."
"You weren't that bad. I made it worse for myself because I let myself feel and believe things that weren't on the table yet. You were honest right from the start and if anything, I shouldn't have interfered with your relationship. You were taken and I let you turn away from him."
"I let myself. You didn't make me do anything. You just offered me something different than he did and I couldn't decide which I wanted because I was too stupid to take a chance at really looking at what I wanted. In the end, you both made my decision for me. You told me to stay away from you and I listened. Vin wasn't treating me right, so I left. You had it right when you said it was a no brainer. Maybe I just wasn't strong enough."
"He really is different?"
"Yeah. I barely recognize him. We probably do more talking than anything else."
"Good for you then. I'm happy for you." Blaine meant it. He actually meant it. As long as Kurt was being treated right and happy then Blaine was happy for him.
"Thank you. How about you? You seeing anyone?"
"Not at the moment. I went on a few dates, but I wasn't interested."
"I'm sure Mr. Right is out there."
"I'm not really interested right now. I don't really feel the drive to be in a relationship right now. That's kind of a first actually." He smiled. "I'm comfortable being single with working and spending time with friends. I'm in this kind of calm sort of state in my life. I haven't been there in a very long time."
"That's really great, Blaine. I just want you to be happy."
"Me too. I mean, I want me to be happy, but I want you to be happy too." Blaine's phone started blaring a beeping noise and he hurriedly moved to turn it off. It was his alarm that told him when he had to start heading home for band practice. "I gotta go," he said with a semi sad tone as he looked up at Kurt.
"Oh…" Kurt looked like the length of the meeting was too short for him and began to turn his face down. "It was really great to see you. Really great. Thank you for the coffee… and for coming over and talking."
Blaine stood up and smiled wistfully. "My pleasure. For the record, it was great to see you too." He picked up his stack of flyers.
"What are those?"
"Advertisements. We have a new keyboard player and he suggested advertising our shows so that we might get out name out there more. Bigger name means more gigs."
"Can I have one?"
Blaine smiled. "Sure!" He handed a flyer to Kurt. "It's for Friday night. You should come." The words were out faster than he had a chance to register that they were in his head.
"I don't think I'm busy. I'll see if I can make it." He had already mentally told himself he would be there before Blaine even asked.
"Great."
"Great." They stared into each other's eyes once more, lost in one another.
"So, I'll see you around then."
There was an awkward pause for a second because Kurt wasn't sure if he should stand up to give Blaine a hug, so he just raised his hand a little and said, "Bye." He watched Blaine leave and his hand went to his head. His heart was racing and very nearly pounding right out of his chest. After all this time, Blaine Anderson still had the ability to stop everything in Kurt's life and blur it all out so that Kurt only saw Blaine in that moment.